Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Enjoy your day by watching Matt thoroughly not enjoy the food and drink pairings he was given. --- Today's Sponsor: ExpressVPN - Get 3 Months of ExpressVPN FREE! https://www.expressvpn.com/walshyt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| Okay, wonderful. | |
| So happy that we could be together today on, you know, as we celebrate Thanksgiving and we're well into the fall, we're getting to the holiday season, and that's a time when I guess a lot of people enjoy pumpkin spice everything. | |
| Now, I am Against pumpkin spice for a number of reasons. | |
| The first is that pumpkin spice stuff doesn't taste like pumpkins at all. | |
| Have you ever actually eaten like a piece of a real pumpkin? | |
| It doesn't taste anything like pumpkin spice stuff. | |
| And it just tastes bad. | |
| And the other thing that I hate though also is beer. | |
| Not beer. | |
| I love beer. | |
| But holiday themed or any kind of like creative flavor on a beer. | |
| I don't like any of that. | |
| And so my team here, of course, they hate me and they like to watch me suffer. | |
| They had an idea for content, which will be me trying different versions of pumpkin spice beer. | |
| Combining two things that I hate and let me suffer through it on camera. | |
| Now, I was told that, just for a little bit of background, I was told that, well, why don't you taste some of the pumpkin spice beer and we'll use it for content. | |
| And I said, okay. | |
| And then I walk in here, and what they didn't tell me is that we would also include disgusting food as well, which has nothing to do with the pumpkin spice theme. | |
| There's no reason why... This was not explained to me. | |
| Why am I eating the food to go along with it? | |
| I don't understand that. | |
| And the worst thing is that the food we have here, these are all foods that I like, but it's the worst kind of version of the foods that I like. | |
| So it's just an insult to me, personally. | |
| Take offense to it. | |
| All right, so let's go through these. | |
| Our first one is pumpkin stout with pre-cooked bacon. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| That actually is really, really bad. | |
| It's very chemical. | |
| It's like a very... I don't even taste the pumpkin. | |
| I don't even taste pumpkin spice there at all. | |
| It's a very chemical... Like, almost it's like it's got a Drano. | |
| It's got a Drano flavor to it. | |
| I don't know if I'm being poisoned on camera. | |
| It's how desperate they are for content around here. | |
| They're just gonna kill me on camera. | |
| And then we got the pre-cooked bacon, which obviously is gonna be an insult. | |
| No, it's just what I thought. | |
| I mean, it's actually not that bad, really. | |
| I gotta be honest with you. | |
| Pre-cooked, you know, that's actually better than I thought it was gonna be. | |
| Well, it's not too bad. | |
| I mean, it's not real bacon, but... If you had to choose between... If you don't have real bacon, and you gotta choose between no bacon or this stuff, I'd go with that stuff. | |
| That's actually not so bad. | |
| Okay. | |
| I'll give that a passing grade. | |
| Next, we have pumpkin spice latte with frozen meatloaf. | |
| Has it been unfrozen, at least, for me? | |
| Oh, dear God. | |
| That's not... What is that? | |
| That's not even beer. | |
| That's just... | |
| It tastes sour. | |
| It tastes like a candle. | |
| I feel like it tastes like a liquefied candle, a scented candle. | |
| I don't understand. | |
| There's no way anybody buys this stuff on purpose and drinks it. | |
| All right, now we've got the frozen meatloaf. | |
| Okay, why are we doing this? | |
| What's the point of this part of this? | |
| This is not even Thanksgiving themed. | |
| Oh, they didn't even cook it. | |
| Thanks guys. | |
| You know, I actually have like a successful podcast now. | |
| I don't need to be doing this stuff. | |
| Why am I doing this? | |
| We're not this desperate for content, are we? | |
| I wouldn't even give that to my dog. | |
| I would not give that to my dog. | |
| I mean, I would. | |
| I hate my dog. | |
| But I wouldn't give that to a dog I liked. | |
| What the f***? | |
| I would starve rather than eat that. | |
| I would just die. | |
| I've been broke in my life before. | |
| And, but I've never been broke enough for that. | |
| And if I was, I would just say, well, then life is not for me. | |
| I guess I'm just dying. | |
| I'll just die. | |
| There are worse things in life than death, such as frozen meatloaf. | |
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| Okay, this is pumpkin stout with canned chili. | |
| Literally in the can. | |
| Nobody does this. | |
| Nobody... What is this, like, Depression-era times right now? | |
| Who eats... You can't even put it in a bowl for me first? | |
| Is that even safe to eat it like that? | |
| You like that? | |
| All right. | |
| (upbeat music) | |
| I mean, that one's, man, that's bad. | |
| Okay. | |
| For a second, I thought it was tolerable, and then I realized, no. | |
| So there's a brief moment with this, when it hits the front of your palate, and you're like, that's not terrible, but then the despair, as it washes over your palate, the despair. | |
| So there's the aftertaste of despair that comes with it. | |
| And then we got this. | |
| Do you need to see me eating cold canned chili right out of the can? | |
| Like I'm on a merchant ship in the 1400s? | |
| Okay, yep, that's terrible. | |
| Just as I suspected. | |
| And I love chili. | |
| This is blasphemy to me, to make me eat that. | |
| And they know that too, that chili is one of my great loves in life, and I don't have very many. | |
| And then you just forced me to endure that. | |
| That's bad. | |
| Finally, Pumpkin Donut Harpoon. | |
| It's a pumpkin doughnut beer with a jelly doughnut. | |
| And I love doughnuts, but my least favorite kind of doughnut is a jelly doughnut. | |
| Anytime there's a box of doughnuts in the office, whoever gets them, they always get at least two jelly doughnuts. | |
| And the two jelly doughnuts are always sitting there last. | |
| Like someone is forced to eat them because all the better donuts went before them? | |
| But my point is that, just skip that. | |
| Why take up real estate in a donut box with the donut that's always last because nobody wants it? | |
| Just substitute that for just a regular glazed donut. | |
| The glazed donuts go first because everyone likes a glazed- No one dislikes a glazed donut. | |
| Okay. | |
| Pumpkin donut harpoon. | |
| Yeah, it's like a... | |
| It's like, it tastes a little bit like a, I've never even had a pumpkin spice latte, but it tastes a little bit like a pumpkin spice latte that's been sitting for three weeks, like in someone's garage, in a old tin bucket, and then you come in and drink it. | |
| That's what it tastes like to me. | |
| So I don't like it, in other words, is what I'm trying to say. | |
| All right, so you need to see me eating a jelly donut, just for... Why? | |
| Do I have to do this? | |
| Oh, whoops. | |
| I just spilled on it by accident. | |
| Well, we can't do that. | |
| Um... Oh, man. | |
| That's, uh... We could reshoot this entire thing, but I don't think we want to do that. | |
| We don't have enough time for that, so... That's it. | |
| I just... I spilled on it by accident. | |
| It was an accident. | |
| That's it. | |
| I'm not eating the jelly donut. | |
| You don't need to see me eat the jelly donut, okay? | |
| I don't like them. | |
| There's no reason why I have to eat it. | |
| It's not like that's good. | |
| Content to see Matt like everyone come and watch Matt eat a donut. | |
| All right, fine. | |
| Damn it. | |
| Fine. | |
| I'll just eat it I'll eat it dipped in beer. | |
| Maybe that makes it better Nope, doesn't make it better. | |
| Makes it worse, actually. | |
| Turns out, so... Don't spill beer on your donut. | |
| It does not improve the flavor at all, but not that, you know, it can't get any worse than a f***ing jelly donut. | |
| Alright, I'm getting irrationally angry through this entire thing. | |
| And so, that's it! |