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Sept. 22, 2022 - The Matt Walsh Show
14:03
Matt Walsh: Defender Of The Left (Ironically)

The Matt Walsh Team presents TWO of Matt's funniest cancelations: Poopy Pants Biden and the Trans Racial Korean Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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For the daily cancellation today, I must sadly cancel many of you in the audience
for your involvement in a totally disgraceful and disappointing display over the weekend.
It all began when rumors started circulating online that President Biden tragically pooped his pants while visiting with the Pope in Rome.
Amy Tarkanyan, a political strategist and pundit, was one of the first to make this odorous allegation, tweeting, quote, The word around Rome is that Biden's meeting with the Pope was unusually long because Biden had a bit of a bathroom accident at the Vatican, and it had to be addressed prior to him leaving.
I know we joke often about this, but this is the actual rumor going around Rome now.
Next thing you know, hashtags like hashtag poopgate and hashtag poopypantsbiden and the more direct hashtag bidenshithispants were trending nationwide on Twitter.
Other sources were chiming in, all claiming that yes, Joe Biden did indeed drop a steamy load in his pants right in front of Pope Francis.
And then millions of other people with no special knowledge about the situation, people with no specific insights into Joe Biden's defecation habits at all, frankly, still were posting about the subject, spreading this insidious rumor.
And to once again clarify, by insidious rumor, I am referring to the claim that Joe Biden pooped himself at the Vatican.
That's the rumor.
And personally, I'm outraged and disgusted by all this.
It is the absolute height of irresponsibility to spread rumors of this sort.
There is no legitimate reason to call attention to the issue of Joe Biden shitting himself.
No reason.
Someone has to be the mature one in this situation, and as usual, that job has fallen to me, which is why I am not talking about the subject of Joe Biden soiling himself.
I would never talk about something so crass and objectionable and unsubstantiated.
We don't even know if Joe Biden really did poop his pants.
There are some people saying he pooped his pants, others saying that he didn't poop his pants.
Still, there are others saying that we have no idea what Joe Biden did or didn't do in his pants.
In the face of this uncertainty, The dignified and honest thing is to say nothing at all.
I am therefore begging all of you to not talk about this.
And if you didn't know about it until you just heard about it right now, don't talk about it.
It's not the kind of thing we should be discussing, which is why I have personally chosen to do my part by not calling attention to it at all.
It's better if the public never even hears about this rumor.
The rumor that Joe Biden, President of the United States, pooped himself.
So please, once again, just don't talk about it.
In fact, shortly before we went on air, I noticed another hashtag associated with the poopy pants predicament.
A large number of social media users have apparently caused the hashtag, Shart Week, to trend.
This is not only potential misinformation, but it also makes light of the trauma suffered by actual shart attack victims.
And actual shart attack victims.
That's why I would never extend this pun by saying that the Vatican became something of a shark tank when Biden arrived.
That's a joke I'm not going to make.
There are many other presidential poop jokes that I will not make.
And would be very angry to hear anyone make.
For example, I'm not going to say that through his eight years as Vice President, Biden apparently got accustomed to being the number two guy in the White House.
I'm not going to say.
I'm not going to say that Biden flew back from Rome in Air Force Two.
I'm not going to say that involuntary defecation must be a hereditary problem for Biden since it runs in his genes.
These would be vulgar and unfunny jokes, and I'm not going to make them or any other because there's nothing funny about a turd.
Especially a turd in the pants of the President.
Allegedly.
Now, all we know for sure, the only thing we should be saying about Biden's visit with the Pope, is that he went there in his official capacity as the President of the United States, and he did his duty.
That's it.
Outside of that, our responsibility is to comport ourselves with maturity and dignity and respect the office of the presidency.
And we should still respect the office, even if that man in that office happens to have evacuated his bowels right into his underwear.
I don't care if Biden did have a literal holy s**t moment in front of the Pope.
That doesn't change anything.
Except his diaper.
As for the rest of us, we have to be adults about this.
And the fact is that many of you have failed in that regard.
You have used Biden's poo-filled pants as a forum for jokes and mockery, rather than gazing upon them in solemn silence, as is your duty.
And his, apparently.
Allegedly.
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In a stunning display of courage, a white British TikTok influencer has revealed to the world that he identifies as Korean.
Ali London is his name.
He's been getting plastic surgery for several years in an effort to, as a Newsweek article puts it, resemble their K-pop idol Jimin of BTS.
I have only a vague idea what any of those words mean, but the upshot is that now London, who also identifies as non-binary, has completed his surgical transition and is ready to fully live his life as the gender-fluid Korean that he's always been deep down.
For too long, he has had a Korean trapped inside his body, and now, with $150,000 of assistance from cosmetic surgeons, his true East Asian self has emerged, like a bruised and swollen butterfly from a fleshy cocoon.
In a video recorded just after his latest procedure, Ali explains that his surgically adjusted eyes and nose and other features now confirm, uh, confirm him as a tried and true Korean.
And I think the case that he makes is pretty bulletproof.
Let's listen.
Hello, I'm Jimin.
Hey guys, I'm finally Korean.
I've transitioned.
I'm so, so happy I've completed my look.
I'm finally Korean, guys.
I have the eyes.
I just had a brow lift as well.
So I'm so happy.
Finally, I've been trapped in the wrong body for eight years.
And that's the worst feeling in the world when you're trapped and you don't feel like you can be yourself.
But finally, I'm Korean.
I can be myself.
And I'm so, so happy.
He looks happy.
Finally, he is Korean.
It's as simple as that.
Bigots might voice disagreement, insisting that one must actually be from Korea, or at least have Korean citizenship, in order to be considered in any sense Korean.
They might even argue that surgically narrowing your eyes to resemble Asian facial features not only fails to make you Asian, but is also highly insulting and degrading to the real Asians, of which you are not one.
But Ali deftly countered these arguments in a series of tweets, disarming and debunking such discriminatory talking points.
He wrote, quote, Being transsexual is the same as being transracial because you're born in the wrong body.
In other tweets, he announced that, quote, trans rights are human rights, and that, quote, there are millions of underrepresented transracial people in the world, and I want to elevate their voices and help them live their truth and be themselves.
Now, these may be more assertions than arguments, more spitting slogans than making a case, but if that's been sufficient for transgender advocates, then why shouldn't it work for a transracial pioneer?
Driving the point home, Ali, I think, really vanquished his critics once and for all by dropping the ultimate progressive Trump card in a different video.
Listen.
This is my reason for showing the flag and I do identify as Korean.
This is my choice.
This is my decision.
It's not hurting anyone.
There you go.
His decision, his choice, not hurting anyone.
That's really it, right?
In the age of psychological men, when all that matters is an individual's mental states and all that you must do to justify an action is claim that the action makes you feel good and causes no direct physical harm to anyone else, whether or not the latter is actually true, the validity of a white man's transformation in that context into a genderless Korean cannot be denied.
Certainly, if you accept trans ideology, then you have absolutely no logical basis for denying Ali's truth, a truth which is grounded in the exact same premise, a truth which must indeed be true if the premise is true.
And the premise, to remind you, is that a person's physical, biological identity is totally determined by how they feel about themselves.
A man who feels like a woman is not merely a feminine man, but is actually a literal woman.
All of the physical barriers which have for millennia served to separate men from women are dissolved and discarded.
Biology is subordinated to the emotional whims of the individual.
Why should Ali's emotional whims not be afforded the same supernatural weight?
His case, based on the logic of progressivism, is airtight.
Based on the logic of, well, logic, it's not at all, but based on the logic of progressivism, it is.
And yet the left has not accepted him.
Comments on the internet about his racial transition have been overwhelmingly negative.
The Daily Wire documents a few of them.
Reading now, it says, I'm sorry, but you can't just choose to be Korean.
It's a nationality and ethnicity, tweeted one trans-identifying account.
You have to be born Korean.
Just because you like the culture doesn't mean you can take it and become it.
There is a way to appreciate a different culture.
This is not it.
Quote, as a Korean non-binary person, I haven't really talked about the Olly London thing, but the fact that they're acting like it's genuine, that it's part of a journey due to an identity issue, really irks me.
It's a mockery of trans people.
It's cultural appropriation, posted another person.
Finally, one Korean user replied that while he celebrated London's new gender identity, it's wrong for him to claim a new ethnic identity.
Korean isn't a pronoun, nor is it a persona you decide to suddenly take on because of K-pop hype.
I'm glad you identify as non-binary, and I applaud you for being transparent about that, but I can't commend you for taking a whole ethnicity and treating it like a persona.
Hmm.
Taking a whole ethnicity and treating it like a persona.
Almost like when someone takes a biological sex and treats it like that.
I don't know.
An article in the left-wing Paper Mag written by Sandra Song, editor-at-large and a fellow Korean, is just one long transphobic harangue against the entire transracial community.
Song writes, quote, As someone who actually has Korean DNA, though, I can say that some white fetishist, as proven by those 15 surgeries to look like Jimin, suddenly deeming themselves Korean is incredibly offensive, especially since it effectively trivializes our identities because they're suddenly trendy.
Apparently, though, that doesn't really register for Ali, who's continually been a notable example of Western fetishization that's objectified us based on South Korea's recent contributions to global culture.
So yeah, obviously it's pretty sus that a white person is saying they're Korean.
Now, leaving aside the embarrassing fact that the magazine's editor-at-large wrote and published the words, so yeah, and pretty sus, the real problem is that she would accuse a person of fetishizing and trivializing her identity simply because he is cartoonishly mimicking her appearance and claiming that his degraded mockery is as authentic as her own identity.
I mean, she's essentially arguing that his imitation is an imitation and thus cannot be as valid or real as the thing he is imitating.
And her points make a lot of sense, come to think of it, but unfortunately, she, like nearly everyone else in her ideological camp, has already thrown open the doors and invited men to fetishize and trivialize and mimic her identity.
It's just that she wishes the mimicry would stay contained to her sex, not her ethnicity.
The problem, though, is that sex is far more objective and far less fluid than ethnicity.
If the former can be erased, then so can the latter.
Ollie London knows that, and now he's entitled to be seen as fully Korean, just as Korean as any other Korean.
Indeed, he may be even more Korean than cis-Koreans like Sandra Song.
I mean, you can make that argument.
This at least was a choice that he has made, bravely.
If cis Koreans don't want to tolerate or accept trans Koreans, that's their problem and their bigotry they have to work through.
It'd be better for them to just remain silent in the meantime while the march of progress continues and all objective markers of identity are erased and human existence is reduced to a murky puddle of ambiguity.
That is the world the left wanted, and now they have it.
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