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Aug. 20, 2022 - The Matt Walsh Show
06:57
Am I The A**hole? Matt Walsh Decides Part 6

Matt Walsh takes to the subreddit "Am I The A**hole?" to decide once and for all, who the a-hole really is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Time Text
All right, M.I.
the A-Hole.
I don't think I need to introduce this segment.
We've done it before.
I think you basically understand how this works.
And this is going to be like many of the other videos we've done where we go to the M.I.
the A-Hole forum on Reddit, except we're switching things up.
It's very exciting this time because we're going to do that, except this time I'm in a more comfortable chair.
So we like to keep things fresh.
Here on the Matt Wall Show.
We'll start with this.
My two daughters are vegetarian, but my husband and son are not.
I'm probably what they would call a flexitarian.
Well, you're definitely the a**hole.
I already know that you're the a**hole based on that alone.
A flexitarian?
So what does that mean?
You're flexible?
You'll eat meat or vegetables?
Is that what you mean by flexitarian?
So you're just a person?
You're a normal person like all the rest of us?
You don't need to come up with new labels for everything.
You didn't invent something new.
I'm a fooditarian, you know, because my thing is that I eat food.
If it's not food, I don't eat it.
I'm a walk-on-the-grounditarian.
I generally only walk on things that are the ground.
Anyway.
Where were we?
My son and husband always turn up their noses at tofu or any other meat alternatives.
They say it's just weird that it's made to resemble real meat, so it's really the concept and not the taste.
There are no allergies.
My family and I often make two versions of dinner.
One meat, one real, and twice the amount of pots and pans.
There is an equal distribution of cleaning and cooking in this house, thankfully.
My daughters had a fun prank idea of making two pots of spaghetti sauce under the pretense that one was meat, but they were both the soy ground beef.
The goal here was to see if their brother and father actually hated the meat, that is the fake meat, and to see if we could maybe save some dishes and time in the future.
Everyone loved dinner.
Both husband and son finished their plates.
This was when my youngest couldn't hold it in anymore and told them.
They both got very upset about being fed something other than what they were told.
Reddit.
Am I the a**hole?
So they made soy, soy meat, which is not, that's like, that's, that doesn't actually exist.
Just like when they, When you hear about coconut milk or almond milk, that's not actually milk.
Milk, by definition, is a dairy product.
That's a coconut secretion, is what it should say on the carton.
There's no such thing as soy meat.
That's just, it's fake.
So they made a soy thing in two pots, and they said that one was meat, and they said that they were feeding that to the husband and son, but it was really the soy, and they couldn't tell the difference.
Now, Reddit has declared that this woman is the a**hole.
Yes, you are the a**hole.
You are the a**hole.
Goodbye.
You shouldn't ever lie to somebody about what you're feeding them.
So that makes you an a**hole.
But I actually think you're an a**hole for a different reason.
You expect me to believe that you made a meat sauce With soy beef.
And then your son and husband, who are big, long-time meat eaters, they couldn't tell that it wasn't real meat?
That's bulls**t, sorry.
I just, I don't believe it.
That's gorgon s**t!
Total gorgon s**t!
I've had meat substitutes before, just purely out of morbid curiosity, and they always taste like fertilizer and sadness.
What does it taste like?
Despair?
Okay, they taste fraudulent.
Always.
And by the way, if you have an ethical problem with meat, then why are you eating food made to taste like it?
That's the other thing I don't understand.
I have a problem with this.
I don't want to eat meat.
I think it's immoral, but I want my food to taste like the thing that's immoral.
It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
Well, let me ask you something.
What if there was someone out there who kept a log of every single thing you did every minute of the day?
I think that'd be pretty creepy.
Well, what if I told you that's exactly what happens every time you go online?
Your internet provider, like AT&T or Comcast, is allowed to store logs of every website you've ever visited, and they can legally sell this data to anyone they want.
That's why I always use ExpressVPN.
ExpressVPN reroutes your internet connection through their secure server, so your internet provider can't see or log what you're doing online.
Now, many of you, if you're more perceptive, you might be wondering, well, if I'm routing all my data through a VPN, then doesn't the VPN get to log and see all my data?
And you're right to think that way.
Many VPNs claim to have a no-logs policy, but have been caught logging customer activity anyway.
ExpressVPN is the only VPN I trust because they use trusted server technology.
Stop letting people keep logs of what you do online.
Visit ExpressVPN.com slash WalshYT right now and find out how you can get three months free.
Okay, um...
Next one.
I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment.
Recently a co-worker, let's call them Allie, has been coming to my supervisor to talk and visit almost every shift.
They've been talking about how Allie has had a downturn in job performance and might be laid off soon if things don't improve.
Allie is nice and outgoing but not reliable when it comes to office work.
The past couple of days my supervisor has been very interested in my living situation.
Always asking how the area is, how I decorate my space, how my relationship is with the property manager.
They've even started making comments about how lucky I am to live alone and how important community is.
Yesterday after hours... Can we just get to the point here?
You don't need to go back five years in the story.
Just get to the freaking point.
Um, okay.
For over a half an hour, they went on and on about how I could let her live with me and how good it would be to carpool, split expenses, and have company at home.
I tried to keep the shock- Okay.
So basically, your supervisor is pressuring you to have a co-worker move in with you as a roommate.
You could have just said that!
The whole rest of the story is not necessary.
We don't need to know what you had for breakfast that morning.
Am I the a-hole?
Well, no.
I mean, you're the a-hole for telling this long, boring story, but not in this particular situation.
I hear these stories from people's jobs sometimes, and I'm just like, what?
First of all, why would you tolerate this to begin with?
Your supervisor at your job is trying to force you to allow another person at your job to live with you?
I don't know if this is appropriate.
I'd better go ask Reddit.
It's wildly inappropriate, and it's definitely illegal in like 50,000 different ways.
So, first thing I would do is go and get that supervisor fired.
And then, absolutely, you do not let this person move in with you.
Though this is coming from someone who I would never let anyone move in with me as a roommate, I think the whole concept of roommates, to me, just doesn't make any sense.
If you're getting married and you're starting a family, right, with someone, that's one thing.
That's not really a roommate.
You get none of the benefit of starting a family, yet you get all of the annoyances of having to live with other people in your house.
Part of the problem, and I don't, no offense to men by this, but it seems to be mostly women who use the Midahole forum on Reddit.
And this is something women do.
And look, ladies, you have to realize that you do this.
You know, if you have information that you want to pass on to someone, you always start way further back in the timeline than you need to.
That's the scourge of existence for women.
They're always complaining, oh, you know, the men, they don't remember, they don't listen.
It's because you're giving us way too much information.
OK?
And that's not how our minds work.
We can't retain all that.
We're looking for the point, and that's where we home in.
And that's going to do it.
OK.
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