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June 21, 2021 - The Matt Walsh Show

12:25

More Relationship Advice For The Reddit Crowd From Matt Walsh

Matt Walsh dives back into the relationship advice section of Reddit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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	Okay, it's time for some more relationship advice from the Daily Wire's resident relationship guru.
	Yours truly.
	Actually, I'm not a relationship guru at all, but we don't have one here, and they don't exist.
	It's my time to shine!
	So, um, I'm the best.
	You're going to get right now.
	We're going to go back now to Reddit's relationship advice forum to see which lost souls we can guide into the light.
	And we start here.
	It says, my wife is constantly texting a male coworker who resides out of state and I'm not sure what to do.
	I've seen the texts and they feel like they gradually have gotten more flirty slash they confide in one another.
	Kind of bummed, really.
	Okay, so I'm not sure why this is an I-don't-know-what-to-do situation.
	Like, you confront your wife immediately right now about it.
	And you say that she needs to cut off texting this guy, cut off all contact, tell her that she's violated your trust, that she's caused profound harm to your marriage, that she has a lot of work to do to rebuild your trust.
	Tell her if she's not willing to do that, to make that effort.
	She needs to let you know right now so you can start assessing your options.
	I mean, texting and flirting and confiding with a man when you're married is not a small thing.
	That's called cheating.
	That's not like on the way to cheating.
	That is actual, real-life cheating.
	That's an emotional affair.
	At least, if it's not a sign of a physical affair as well.
	So, no excuse for her behavior.
	None at all.
	Don't be understanding.
	Don't be sympathetic.
	You got to be a man and stand up for yourself.
	All right.
	This one says, wife might have lost interest in me and be looking elsewhere.
	We've been together for five years now.
	For the last six months, we've been fighting and arguing a lot.
	It's mostly stopped over the last two to three weeks.
	But as of this last weekend, she suggested an open relationship.
	Stating that she's read that men are happier.
	I do not want it.
	But the more I think about it, the more I feel like she wants it for her.
	She's always getting hit on, even when I'm right there, and I work long hours, so I'm not home a lot.
	I know if I agreed to this, it would be just for her.
	I don't want anyone else, and even if I did, I'm unattractive and socially awkward, so it's not like I'd get anywhere.
	What set me over the edge is that I gave her my card before work to pay rent, got home and wanted a soda from the store, and as I was looking for it in her purse, I found a letter she wrote today.
	It doesn't say who it's to, but it's obviously not for me, and it's signed, Love Always.
	And then her name.
	I don't know what to do at this point.
	Do I tell her how I've been feeling?
	Do I confront her about the letter?
	My God, these are depressing.
	I think I might cry.
	If I had a soul, I would cry.
	But I don't, so we're good.
	But anyway, do you confront her?
	What do you mean?
	Yes!
	What else would you do?
	This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth.
	What do you mean, do you?
	I mean, she literally wrote a love letter to another guy.
	How could you not confront her?
	What else?
	What's the other option?
	Would you go home, like, order a pizza, watch MasterChef together, pretend everything's fine?
	Is that even a feasible option?
	If I was in your shoes, I couldn't do that.
	That would be impossible to do that.
	You can't be so cowed, so emasculated, that you're that good at hiding your thoughts and feelings around her.
	So yes, you confront her.
	Yes, you put your foot down.
	None of this is okay.
	None of it is remotely okay.
	And by the way, there's no such thing as an open marriage.
	Not quite my tempo.
	A marriage, by definition, is closed.
	There's no open marriage.
	It's like saying that you live in a house without a roof.
	If it doesn't have a roof, it's not a house.
	The roof is like sort of the whole point of the house.
	That's what we talk about.
	You know, you're living under my roof.
	I need a roof to sleep.
	It's the roof.
	The roof is one of the main features of the house.
	And if you don't have that, you don't have a house.
	And in a marriage, One of the primary defining features is the exclusivity, is the commitment you make to one another.
	So there's no open marriage.
	What there is, is it's called adultery.
	Cheating.
	And even if you both agree to it, it's still adultery.
	All right.
	Next one.
	This is from a woman.
	It says, my husband and I have been together 10 years and married five this month.
	The other night, while driving to a family event, the topic of our anniversary came up and my husband realized he had rostered himself to work on the day of our anniversary.
	No big deal, we can go out on the weekend.
	But this was no surprise to me.
	I can't remember in the last 10 years him organizing a gift or trip or any activity for us or remembering to take time off of work for our relationship.
	Unsurprisingly to me, he has also not prepared a gift or anything else.
	I mentioned to him that I'm okay and I'm used to it, calmly, but maybe not the nicest thing to say regardless, and he got quite mad at me.
	He started to plan a trip on the spot to where we were married for the day, three hour drive each way, and I said I would rather stay the night.
	He had money concerns about this, totally understandable, maybe a little unfounded.
	I also said something along the lines of that I wasn't going to get my hopes up because our plans like this always fall through somehow.
	I feel like he got mad at me because I didn't fight slash was apathetic and I didn't give him the excuse of she's being a bitch so I don't need to get something now anyway.
	The worst part for me is that once he had managed to calm down, he said the reason he doesn't get me anything or plan anything is because he works.
	And because I don't, so I have time to think about these things.
	He works a regular nine to five, nothing crazy.
	I only have three days in the year that are special to me, our wedding anniversary, my birthday and Christmas.
	I don't expect him to move heaven and earth on these days, but an acknowledgement and maybe a cheap bouquet of flowers would be nice.
	Okay.
	And she wants to know what to do.
	Now, I have to offer full disclosure here and reveal my conflicts of interest.
	I myself have made this mistake recently.
	I did accidentally book a speaking gig on the day of our anniversary, the last one, which was our ninth.
	And so we still went out to celebrate and I got her a gift and everything.
	I got her a more expensive gift, probably than I otherwise would have, sort of as a kind of tax penalty that you got to pay.
	But I did miss the anniversary for work.
	And by the time I realized the mistake, it was too late to cancel my commitment.
	And I realized because I told my wife, like just casually, I said, oh, hey, I have to travel to this place on this date.
	And I was just telling her.
	And then she looked at me and she had this look where I knew I was in trouble, but I didn't know why.
	And then she said, You know that's our anniversary, right?
	You done messed up!
	And I said, uh, yeah.
	I mean, no.
	I mean, I did.
	I didn't, but now I do.
	So the point is, in a way, I can empathize with your poor husband, though it sounds like he handled this poorly, even more poorly than I did, which makes me feel a little bit better about myself.
	And his line that he couldn't get you a gift because he doesn't have time to think of it like you do because he works, that...
	I gotta tell you guys, that's not gonna dig you out of the hole, okay?
	That's not gonna get you out of the doghouse, something like that.
	You gotta do better than that.
	So no question he's screwed up, and now he's making excuses, and that only worsens the situation, as excuses always do.
	That said, you carry some blame here too.
	I have to tell you.
	You're not entirely innocent.
	If men are sometimes prone to forgetting important dates, which we are, You're doing the thing that women are prone to do sometimes, which is saying passive-aggressive things while pretending not to be angry, when in reality, you're seething with anger.
	I'm okay, it's fine.
	I'm used to it.
	Anyway, you always do this, so it's whatever.
	You always do this, so it's no big deal.
	Whatever, it's fine.
	I mean, I knew you'd disappoint me.
	I mean, I'm totally used to it, so it doesn't even matter, because you always disappoint me.
	Just stop that.
	Stop it.
	Get some help.
	Cut that out.
	You're obviously mad.
	Say that you're mad.
	Be honest about how you feel.
	Explain how you feel.
	Don't expect him to read your mind.
	Tell him how you feel.
	Just present your feelings in an honest and straightforward way.
	Yeah, he's on thin ice getting mad at you, considering he's the one who screwed up.
	But at the same time, see, guys always get mad At the passive-aggressive thing from women.
	See, that always pisses us off more.
	And you, as the woman, you know that, and that's why you're doing it.
	So you are intentionally reacting in a way that is going to heighten the tension and heighten the anger while pretending that you're being the reasonable one.
	And that makes them even more angry.
	So, cut that out, be direct, and that's it.
	All right.
	Let's see.
	Next one says, my girlfriend confessed that she used to sleep with married men and doesn't feel bad about it.
	Unsure of how to handle this.
	You break up with her.
	Next question.
	Bye Felicia.
	She's a bad person.
	She has the morals of like a lizard.
	So just break up with her.
	Should I ask my girlfriend to delete intimate pictures of her and her ex from her phone?
	Yes.
	Actually, you're not asking.
	You're saying, get that crap off your phone right now or I'm gone.
	You can choose.
	Let's see.
	Okay.
	Finally, this is a good one.
	This is kind of a story.
	So you've got it.
	This is a, this is an epic adventure of a, of a, of a question.
	Says, I woke up to a text from my fiance saying, please call me.
	I'm cleared from work for two weeks.
	I just have to see this in person.
	This may be the biggest thing to ever happen in history.
	Of course, I called him expecting him to say June fools or something like that.
	But no, he explained that he's heard on multiple podcasts and news sites that the government is going to make a major announcement about UFOs in the first part of June.
	He really wanted to see it in person.
	I like to think he heard one of the podcasts he was listening to is mine.
	I hope so.
	I just want to know that I'm making that kind of impact in the world.
	I asked all the normal questions a loving fiancé should ask, like, what in the F have you lost your damn mind?
	And when I was done with that line of questioning, I got into making sure he had a place to stay, that he was traveling safe, etc.
	If I'm being honest, he had normal answers to all the questions, and it sounded like this was something he earnestly felt like he has to be a part of.
	I know UFOs have been a hobby of his since he was a young kid, but I never thought he'd disappear from our bed at 5 a.m.
	to drive across the country to see something that very likely might not happen.
	Just to fill in some info, we live in Arizona.
	Wow.
	I'm from Arizona.
	So driving to DC is no small task.
	He works for a major tech company and just got assigned to a huge project which really could propel him to the next level if he's successful, but his new boss is also his good friend and I suspect he'll work from DC as opposed to taking all two weeks as vacation time.
	He has a metric ton of Hilton Hotel points so it won't cost him to stay.
	Honestly, if it weren't for the space alien part of this, he could have told me he had to leave last minute for work and I wouldn't have thought twice about this except for missing him.
	I don't plan on breaking up with him over this, but I would love some other people's thoughts.
	I can't actually call my mom, sister, or friends and say, hey, Ryan wants to be there when Biden shakes hands with the aliens, so he left in the middle of the night.
	How was your day?
	Why can't you say that?
	I don't understand why you can't say that.
	I got to tell you, I'm with your fiancé on this one.
	I think he's in the right.
	What's the problem?
	He's got his head on straight.
	He's one of the few people who do.
	He is treating this issue with the seriousness it deserves.
	Don't be angry at him.
	Don't subject him to discrimination just because he's an alien-believing American.
	We're a persecuted, marginalized minority group.
	We deal with enough of that already.
	We can't deal with it also from our own loved ones.
	The aliens are here.
	We're not alone.
	They are here now.
	He's the only guy in the country reacting the way that he should.
	He's the sane one.
	Why aren't you in DC?
	Waiting for this moment.
	That's what I call a close encounter.

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