I suffered through watching clips from Lilly Singh's show, so you have to also. See how long you can hang in there... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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|---|---|
| And no, being bisexual is not a superpower. | |
| What's your superpower? | |
| Oh, I can fly. | |
| And you, what's your superpower? | |
| I can, like, ride dolphins and have a magical trident. | |
| And you, what's yours? | |
| I can have sex with different... people. | |
| So I've been putting this off for a long time. | |
| Months ago, I began my quest to find a funny feminist comedian. | |
| Well, not even a funny feminist comedian, actually, because the bar is lower than that. | |
| They don't need to be funny all the time. | |
| Or even most of the time. | |
| I just need to find a feminist comedian who can make me laugh one time. | |
| I want just one laugh. | |
| That's all I'm asking for. | |
| I don't even need them to be funny twice. | |
| Just one time. | |
| And so far, I've come up empty. | |
| So I tried to laugh at Samantha Bee. | |
| Instead, I nearly died of boredom. | |
| I tried to laugh at Hannah Gadsby. | |
| Instead, I was depressed for three days afterwards. | |
| Tried to laugh at Chelsea Handler. | |
| And instead, I left only feeling very concerned. | |
| I'm not suicidal. | |
| You don't have to worry about it. | |
| I did not laugh at any of their jokes or even come close to laughing. | |
| So today, I'm getting back on the horse, and we're going to try to ride this thing to victory. | |
| Today, I will try to laugh at one of the newest comedy sensations, In the female comedy space. | |
| Her name is Lilly Singh. | |
| She was a popular YouTuber who then became a late night host. | |
| I just found out about her existence two days ago, so that's how plugged in I am to everything. | |
| She replaced, apparently, Carson Daly. | |
| Carson Daly has had a job on television for about 73 years. | |
| Little mummy reference, little Joan Rivers, put them together. | |
| It's funny. | |
| It's not easy to fill those shoes, is what I'm saying. | |
| Lilly Singh is trying. | |
| Feminist lover. | |
| She's a big star, apparently. | |
| Maybe she's the one who can crack the code. | |
| Let's find out. | |
| We'll start with this. | |
| This is a bit she did on International Women's Day. | |
| I am pumped because this Sunday, we're celebrating International Women's Day, y'all! | |
| Whoo! | |
| Now, don't worry. | |
| You don't have to remember to go out and get anyone flowers. | |
| You just have to remember to go out and fight for equal pay for women in the workplace. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I think it's by the checkout at CVS. | |
| Now, I know there are guys out there thinking, oh, International Women's Day? | |
| Why don't we have an International Men's Day? | |
| God bless you, Twitter. | |
| Well, you're in luck, because you do. | |
| It's actually on November 19th. | |
| But you wouldn't know that because you're too busy celebrating it every other day of the year. | |
| Why do I do this to myself? | |
| Why do I do this? | |
| I'm just doubting my own life choices. | |
| This is the level of humor that we're starting with. | |
| Every day is men's day, har har har. | |
| It's so unoriginal and witless that you may as well not say anything. | |
| There's no point of even making the joke. | |
| If it's between making no joke or pulling a joke from a Facebook meme from five years ago, then you may as well make no joke at all. | |
| You may as well get up there for your monologue and just stare blankly into the camera. | |
| That would be significantly funnier than this so far. | |
| By the way, you're damn right, lady. | |
| Every day is Men's Day. | |
| Every day is my day as a man. | |
| You are damn right. | |
| Every day could be your day, too, if you just went out and asserted yourself instead of whining about sexism and being so damned focused on how everyone else feels about you. | |
| You know, when you sit around demanding that other people affirm you and celebrate you, if that's how you live your life, then yeah, you get one day of the year. | |
| That's all you get. | |
| I take every day. | |
| I go and take it. | |
| Okay? | |
| Not funny so far, but maybe this will get better. | |
| Let's keep listening. | |
| Fun fact, November 19th is also International Toilet Day. | |
| Now, I'm not saying men are toilets, but both holidays are mostly catered towards a bunch of white Johns. | |
| Oh, my God. | |
| Oh, my God. | |
| Lord, save me. | |
| Deliver me from this trial. | |
| White Johns. | |
| That joke made the cut. | |
| Consider this. | |
| Okay. | |
| This is a late night show. | |
| Presumably they have some kind of writer's room. | |
| You wouldn't know it from the material, but I assume they do. | |
| So, there were a bunch of jokes that didn't make it to air. | |
| Right? | |
| They actually threw out jokes because they were worse than that. | |
| Maybe there's a brilliant writer in that room. | |
| Probably a man, let's be honest, no offense. | |
| Could be the second coming of Richard Pryor in that room, writing material, and maybe her sense of humor is so bad that she throws those out. | |
| The brilliant material, she's like, I don't like that. | |
| White Johns, though, that is killer. | |
| Let's do that. | |
| This is the female equivalent of basically a dad joke, but dad jokes don't work unless they're coming from a dad. | |
| I don't mean to be sexist, but you gotta be a man to pull it off. | |
| You can't do a dad joke in a dress, is what I'm trying to say. | |
| I feel like not enough people know about International Women's Day. | |
| I remember I asked one guy if he knew what IWD is, and he said, yeah. | |
| Can you believe George Bush lied about them being in Iraq? | |
| What is you talking about?! ! | |
| According to Wikipedia, International Women's Day is only an official holiday in 26 countries. | |
| And wait for it. | |
| The U.S. | |
| is not one of them. | |
| That's right. | |
| Essentially, it's the difference between how I'm treated on this show and how I'm treated when I try to get a drink at a bar. | |
| Lily, you don't have to do this to yourself. | |
| You really don't. | |
| You had a good thing going. | |
| You had a good life. | |
| You had your YouTube channel. | |
| You were making money. | |
| This is so bad that Carson Daly is starting to look charismatic by comparison. | |
| People are actually pining now for the comedic genius of Carson Daly. | |
| That's how bad this is! | |
| Maybe that was the plan all along by NBC. | |
| Maybe they just brought her in to make people appreciate Carson Daly more. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Do you know why International Women's Day isn't an official holiday in the U.S.? | |
| Because it's stupid. | |
| Why would we have a holiday to celebrate women? | |
| Yeah, celebrate certain women. | |
| If you want to be celebrated, go out and do something to be celebrated for. | |
| Not just because you're a woman. | |
| That's not an accomplishment to be one. | |
| Tell a funny joke, Lily. | |
| That'd be an achievement. | |
| You tell a funny joke and I will name a holiday after you. | |
| I'll build you a statue. | |
| I'll name a galaxy after you. | |
| Just tell one funny joke. | |
| That's all I ask. | |
| We're gonna try one more. | |
| And this is one, okay, I figure, you know, this one has got a lot of views on YouTube. | |
| This particular Segment and really popular. | |
| So who knows maybe this is the one let's listen Okay, I've made a huge mistake this there is no way that that this woman is gonna take this anywhere funny Now, as some of you may know, about a year ago, I came out as bisexual. | |
| I tweeted out, female, colored, bisexual. | |
| Throughout my life, these have proven to be obstacles from time to time, but now I'm fully embracing them as my superpowers. | |
| No matter how many boxes you check, I encourage you to do the same. | |
| And I really do. | |
| I encourage you to do the same. | |
| Okay, they're applauding her tweet. | |
| That's what we've been reduced to. | |
| And no, being bisexual is not a superpower. | |
| What's your superpower? | |
| Oh, I can fly. | |
| And you, what's your superpower? | |
| I can, like, ride dolphins and I have a magical trident. | |
| And you, what's yours? | |
| I can have sex with different people. | |
| So no, not a superpower. | |
| Also, not funny. | |
| So we haven't got to the funny part yet. | |
| And I'm increasingly despairing of the possibility that we ever will. | |
| You know what? | |
| I was gonna end it here, but I just thought, let's be totally fair, okay? | |
| This is all material from last season of her show. | |
| I think it's from 2020. | |
| She has a new season that just came out. | |
| This is just the most recent episode of hers. | |
| And let's see if it got any better. | |
| Ah! | |
| So it's been a month since Bridgerton came out, and it continues to dominate the conversation on social media. | |
| Like, straight up, my Twitter feed looks like a 19th-century lookbook, and I am not mad. | |
| For those of you that don't know, because, I don't know, you're living under a rock. | |
| What are you doing? | |
| The Netflix show is an adaptation of the book series by Julia Quinn, and it is set in London in the 1800s. | |
| Essentially, it's a story of noble families that attend balls and try to marry their daughters off. | |
| In other words, it's a period piece that skips all the boring stuff about trade routes and instead focuses on the dresses and the sex. | |
| Nope. | |
| Nope. | |
| Not any better. | |
| Still have not splurged on that comedy writer yet, so it's only gotten worse, somehow. | |
| Plus, they seem to have taken her microphone away, too. |