Today on the Matt Walsh Show, BLM is back to rioting, this time over the shooting of an armed man who was charging at police officers with a weapon. BLM is going off script by rioting only a week before the election. Hopefully voters take notice. Also Five Headlines including Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation, plus Tampax tries to earn some Woke points by marketing itself to men who have periods. And in our Daily Cancellation, I will cancel pets.
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Today on the Matt Wall Show, BLM is back to rioting, back to their old tricks again, this time over the shooting of an armed man who was charging at police officers with a weapon.
BLM is going off script, I think, by rioting only a week before the election.
We'll see how that factors in.
Hopefully voters will take notice and we'll talk about that.
Also, five headlines including Amy Coney Barrett's confirmation.
Plus, Tampax tries to earn some woke points by marketing itself to men.
Who have periods, which is a category that doesn't exist.
And in our daily cancellation, I will cancel pets.
I've already canceled all humans, so pets are next.
It's only fair.
All of that coming up.
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Okay, well...
There were, as the media calls it, clashes between protesters and police in Philadelphia last night.
What this really means, of course, is that rioters and looters wreaked wanton destruction across the city and assaulted police officers at will.
That's what the clash is.
Just to show you what a clash between police officers and rioters looks like, a quote-unquote clash, here's a whole group of police officers running away and retreating as rioters chased after them while hurling projectiles.
This happened last night in Philly.
Watch!
That's what I like!
That's what I'm talking about!
What the **** I like it, that's what I like.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Yo, yo, yo.
Now call that what you like, just don't call it a clash.
By the end of the night, at least 30 cops had been hurt and at least one officer was in the hospital with serious injuries.
A female sergeant, 56 years old, was hit and suffered a broken leg when a truck plowed into a group of officers, the group that she was standing in.
Elsewhere, rioters set cop cars on fire, ransacked stores, looted police vehicles.
Here's a quick clip of some of these warriors for racial justice stealing from a local business owner in order to bring about equality or something.
Here's what that looked like.
Oh Oh
Oh, f***.
Oh, my God!
Pizza is the dumbest thing.
Now, the ostensible reason for this latest bit of barbarity is the
shooting of 27-year-old Walter Wallace Jr.
I'll tell you what, I'll show you that shooting first, and then we'll talk about it.
Before we go any further, though, here's that video.
Yo, watch the will.
Don't shoot the will.
Yo, this s*** crazy.
Yo!
Watch my will.
Yo, this sh** is crazy over here.
Get the knife down!
I got him!
Get the knife down!
Move, move, move!
Move!
Oh, sh**!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, sh**!
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
Yo, they just killed him in front of me!
Yo!
Well, as you can see, Wallace was armed with a knife.
Police instructed him to drop the weapon and surrender.
Rather than complying, Wallace approached them while brandishing the weapon.
It's all there on video.
You can see it for yourself.
At that point, they opened fire.
This is about as justified as a police shooting can possibly get.
So in order to get around this, leftists are playing their usual game of turning the focus away from the relevant facts of the incident and towards personal details that are not at all relevant to the shooting itself.
Philadelphia Inquirer reporter Ellie Rushing, for example, tells us that Wallace was, quote, a twin, a father, and a son, and that his mother, quote, begged police not to shoot.
But the fact that Wallace has a child and a twin brother has absolutely no bearing on whether the shooting is justified.
Activists are also telling us that Wallace was shot in front of his mother and that Wallace allegedly had a mental illness.
Again, none of this makes the shooting unjustified.
Whatever his family situation, whatever his psychological condition, all that matters in that moment is that he's armed with a deadly weapon and charging at the officers.
If somebody was coming at you with a knife, I doubt you would stop to ask him if he has a child or a twin brother, or to see his most recent psych evaluation.
I don't think you would.
Police have the right to protect themselves from an assailant who could cause them grave harm and who seems intent on doing so.
All of the facts about Wallace's life and family make it sadder that he chose to throw his life away by charging at cops with a knife, but they don't change the fact that the cops had the right to protect themselves and the duty to protect the community from a dangerous assailant, which is what they did.
But notice something, if you haven't already.
What's happened here is that BLM and its allies have completely dropped the unarmed black man line.
Now it used to be, if you remember a few years ago, that BLM would cherry pick only the shootings of allegedly unarmed black men to protest, which of course often meant ignoring the fact that unarmed people can still pose a lethal threat to police officers, as the Michael Brown case definitively showed.
But now, and beginning earlier this summer, The suspect's possession of a weapon is simply ignored.
Even if he's brandishing a weapon and appears intent on using it, still this is treated as irrelevant.
Remember, unarmed used to be nearly the entire reason for the protest, at least the entire reason that was given.
They'd say, they shot an unarmed black man.
That was the cry, right?
Now it's just, they shot a black man.
As if there could simply never be a legitimate reason to shoot a black man.
The very fact that he's black means that the shooting is racist, no matter the circumstance.
This is the position of BLM.
I'm not exaggerating, as you know.
It's worth reflecting, though, on the incredible amount of racism involved here.
Because BLM is so desperate to find a reason to riot, that they'll riot when armed black suspects are shot while charging at police officers.
They have not found enough unarmed black suspects being killed by cops to satisfy their lust for destruction, so now they're relying on these sorts of incidents.
But they could retain an ounce of credibility and perhaps keep up appearances of caring about police brutality and still find dozens of opportunities to riot every year if they expanded the scope of their outrage to include unarmed, white suspects killed by cops.
These are, after all, there are, after all, more of those in a given year.
Yet they refuse to protest the killing of white people.
They would rather protest the killing of an armed black man charging at cops than an unarmed white man like Daniel Shaver shot while on his knees begging for his life.
This is just an unfathomable degree of racism.
Racism, nihilism, destruction, hate, lies, propaganda, that's what BLM is all about.
Which is why it's found such a staunch ally, the Democrat Party, because they are kindred spirits in so many ways.
And that's something to think about now, only one week out from the election.
You know, I had frequently fretted on this show that the American public, with the attention span and memory of a housefly, might forget about the riots when they go to the polls, given that most of the rioting petered out a few weeks ago, right?
But BLM has helpfully given the public a reminder.
And done so in a crucial swing state, we might add.
A state that Trump needs to win in order to stay in the White House.
And now they're rioting in that state only a week out from the election.
I can tell you something.
If Biden loses, you know, we're hearing a lot about Hunter Biden right now.
Well, we're hearing a lot depending on what media you choose to listen to.
If you listen to mainstream media, you're not going to hear much about it.
The Hunter Biden scandal is a big scandal, but I think if Biden loses, it's going to have a lot more to do with what happened in Philly last night and things like that than it will Hunter Biden.
Because people look at Hunter Biden and they say to themselves, I'm not really sure how this affects my life.
I don't think it does.
People rioting in your city though, burning down buildings, destroying businesses.
Assaulting, killing people?
Yeah, that affects you.
That really affects you.
It's easy to make that connection.
Of course, the corruption of a president, as Joe Biden and his family, all evidence points to them being very corrupt, corruption does affect you, but it's harder to connect those dots in your mind.
Yet, when you look outside your window and see these rioting mobs, yeah, not hard to connect those dots.
So BLM, as I said, going off script, rioting a week out from the election.
I just hope that people remember that and keep that in mind.
Because for all the flaws of the Republican Party, the fact is there is one party that openly advocates and supports destruction and rioting, and that is the Democrat Party.
It's as simple as that.
Let's get to our five headlines.
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All right.
We, as I am currently in Nashville and I'll have more about that.
about the journey here in a little bit, but this is, just so you know, this is not my new Nashville studio.
This is, the studio's still being built, so I am in our rental home, and we also don't have a house here yet, so we're renting, and then we're gonna buy a house as we get to know the area a little bit more.
So I'm in just a corner of our rental house, and our four kids are like stashed somewhere else in the house, and this is what's happening.
And a little look into the behind the scenes here.
I had a nice setup.
Like, ready to go, in this house, and I thought, this is gonna look nice.
And then, right before I went to start shooting the show, someone outside started mowing the lawn.
And it was too loud, so I had to relocate.
These are the challenges when you do what I do for a living.
Really difficult obstacles to overcome.
But we all have those in our lives, don't we?
All right, let's go.
Number one, Amy Coney Barrett was officially sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice last night, sworn in by Clarence Thomas.
A great moment.
Wonderful sight to behold.
And if you're a red-blooded American, patriotic American, it was a wonderful sight.
And if you value the Constitution, it was a wonderful sight.
Let's watch it again.
Here it is.
I, Amy Coney Barrett, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, That I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion.
And that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter.
The duties of the office on which I am about to enter.
So help me God.
So help me God.
So of course the left reacted to this as expected.
They desperately try to find some reason to be outraged that the White House and the Senate had lawfully discharged its constitutional power and responsibility to nominate and confirm Supreme Court justices.
They've been trying this whole time to find some reason to conjure up some reason to be outraged by this and they haven't really been able to figure it out.
They haven't really been able to explain why it's a problem.
They've gone through different versions, they've had different talking points.
Remember Ruth Bader Ginsburg's last wish, her dying wish, it defies that.
That didn't really work, so they went to something else.
They're not really sure why they don't like it or why it's wrong.
They just know it is wrong because it makes their tummies hurt.
And I would respect them a lot more if they would just come out and say that.
If Nancy Pelosi or someone would just come out and say, listen, it makes our tummies
hurt and we don't like it.
Okay, I respect that.
I don't really respect it, but I appreciate the honesty.
So instead, they're trying to find some other thing that Republicans have allegedly done wrong here.
And of course, one of them is that this defies a precedent that was set four years ago.
Allegedly, this confirming Amy Coney Barrett is in defiance of a four-year-old precedent.
And so, in order to show how much they care about precedents, and how much they value precedents, they are now advocating that we also destroy a 150-year-old precedent by expanding the Supreme Court.
The Supreme Court's had nine justices on it for, you know, starting in the same decade as the Civil War.
And they want to get rid of that precedent because they care about precedent so much.
In fact, AOC tweeted last night.
She said, expand the court.
And then she also said, Republicans do this because they don't believe Dems have the stones to play hardball.
Have the stones?
That seems like misogynistic, gender stereotypical language, doesn't it?
That seems like toxic masculinity.
Have the stones?
I don't know about that, AOC.
I think I'm offended by that.
Anyway, don't believe Dems have the stones to play hardball like they do.
And for a long time, they've been correct.
But do not let them bully the public into thinking their bulldozing is normal, but a response isn't.
There is a legal process for expansion.
Yeah, legal.
Well, there's a legal process for just nominating a justice and confirming them when there's a vacancy on the court.
There's also a legal process for that.
Republicans follow the legal process.
They did absolutely nothing illegal here.
But reading into that, you know, a couple of things jump out at me.
First of all, I think we might need to expand.
If we could expand AOC's IQ to get it into like triple digits, then maybe we wouldn't have to read tweets like this.
Because really, of all the inane nonsense that streams from the mouths of Democrat shills like this woman, the idea that Republicans always play hardball while Democrats meekly sit in the corner and just comply, that has to be the most inane of all.
But you hear this from Democrats a lot.
This thing, Republicans are always, they're the ones with the backbone that are, I wish that was true.
I wish it was.
It's not.
But the strangest reaction had to come from Chuck Schumer, I think.
Listen to what he had to say about the confirmation.
Here, at this late hour, at the end of this sordid chapter in the history of the Senate, the history of the Supreme Court, My deepest and greatest sadness is for the American people.
Generations yet unborn will suffer the consequences of this nomination.
As the globe gets warmer, as workers continue to fall behind, as unlimited dark money floods our politics, as reactionary state legislatures curtail a woman's right to choose, gerrymander districts and limit the rights of minorities to vote, My deepest, greatest, and most abiding sadness tonight is for the American people and what this nomination will mean for their lives, their freedoms, their fundamental rights.
Monday, October 26, 2020, it will go down as one of the darkest days in the 231-year history So you see again there, Chuck Schumer trying to conjure up some kind of righteous indignation over this totally normal thing that's just happened.
But he says, generations yet unborn will suffer the consequences of this nomination.
He really said that.
I have to believe that when Democrats say stuff like this, that they are knowingly trolling.
Yes, yes, generations unborn will suffer the consequences.
They will suffer the consequences of being allowed to be born.
That's the consequence.
They can be born now, whereas otherwise they wouldn't be.
If Roe v. Wade is actually overturned, which...
By the way, I don't think it really will be, but I hope it is, but I doubt it.
Anyway, that's the consequence he's worried about, that future generations are allowed to be born.
And I suppose, according to the anti-Natalist, anti-life Democrats, that really is a terrible consequence.
So, there's a certain logic to it, I suppose.
Number two, this is also not supposed to be funny.
Or ironic, as far as I know.
But I found it hilarious.
A new Lincoln Project ad, which is supposed to show us the grisly future that awaits us, should Trump retain power.
And, anyway, here's the ad.
Listen to this.
Look at Michigan, and where's the number for it, and where we were trending.
Ohio, Florida, they all just started falling in line.
And I think this is true.
Hey honey.
Hey, Marie.
You asked me to wake you and tell you what happened in the election.
Who won?
Trump.
Trump won.
But I thought you could only be president two times.
Not anymore.
Hell for you!
Right, so I wanted to show you that because along with being hysterically funny, it also perfectly encapsulates
the perhaps fatal mistake the left has made in dealing with Donald Trump.
If they lose, I think this will also be a part of the reason why they lose.
Because they decided to oppose Trump by pretending he's a terrifying fascist dictator.
Right?
And the thing is, when you're running against a politician, or when you're in opposition to a politician, You have to have a simple narrative about him.
You're trying to brand him.
You're trying to get the public to see him in a certain way.
And it can't be too... It certainly can't be contradictory.
And it can't be too complicated.
It has to be simple.
And with Trump, you'd think, you know, there are various different directions you can go with that.
But they went, and there are a few, like, brands that you could probably make stick on Donald Trump.
They chose the one that will not stick and hasn't stuck, which is that Trump is this terrifying fascist dictator.
They want us to see him as an intimidating, scary sort of character.
But he's Donald Trump, for God's sake.
It just, it doesn't work.
Who really sees him that way?
Nobody.
Except for the most radical, fringe, lunatic leftist who maybe sincerely does.
All the rest of us.
We see him as Donald Trump.
And love him or hate him, anyone who's been conscious for the past four years can clearly see that the guy's about as far from a dictator as you can get.
He is easily the least dictatorial president we have had in generations.
Easily.
There's not even a contest here.
He doesn't even control his own White House.
He's got people that are directly under him who are undermining him, investigating him, going to the press constantly.
Do you think that happens with a dictator?
He doesn't even control the people who he's supposed to be able to control.
And then COVID came along and the complaint from people like the folks at Lincoln Project and other leftists is that he didn't exploit the opportunity to seize more power.
They're upset that he allegedly didn't do enough.
Now, I don't really think that's true, but that's their argument.
Okay, but a dictator would have taken advantage of this opportunity to seize way more power.
I mean, a dictator that's worth his salt is given something like this?
A pandemic?
They're going to exploit that to the max, to consolidate their own power.
And Trump could have done that, and he didn't.
And the same people accusing him of being a dictator are, in this case, upset that he wasn't dictatorial enough.
So it just, it doesn't make any sense.
And it doesn't work.
I think what they could have tried to do instead is try to just make Trump into a joke, into sort of like a clown, like they did with George Bush.
That was their method and their approach with George Bush.
And even though he won re-election, of course, he was elected to two terms, but it was largely successful.
With Trump, though, now, they still do some of that.
But they're kind of contradicting themselves.
I mean, either he's this joke that we shouldn't take seriously, or he's this terrifying fascist dictator.
It can't really be both.
Or at least it's difficult to make both of those things stick.
And so instead, neither have really stuck.
Okay.
And by the way, this is a criticism that I had of Trump about, for a while, about Biden.
And I said the Trump campaign was not doing enough to define Biden.
To put a brand on Biden.
Like, how should we see Biden?
And I think they've gotten better about that recently.
And now Biden is...
You know, largely a just bumbling, stumbling man who's losing his...
His mental acuity, which also happens to be correct, but I think that's how people see him, and if he loses, it's going to be largely because they see him that way.
Alright, number three from the Daily Wire.
A memo sent by Delta Airlines CEO Ed Bastian alerted employees that 460 people have been added to the no-fly list for refusing to comply with mask mandates from the airline.
The no-fly list is typically reserved for suspected terrorists, but now they've got a no-fly list for people who don't wear masks.
So you're a terrorist if you don't wear a mask.
Speaking of which, when we got into Nashville, we decided to walk downtown to the most touristy part of downtown, just to check it out.
And here's what you see if you go down there.
This is what you're greeted with.
If you visit the city as a tourist, you're gonna see this big sign here.
Mask on or stay home.
And this, by the way, directed at people walking down the street.
Not just people going into the bars.
If you're walking down the street, you're supposed to wear it.
And they're going to fine you, allegedly, if you don't.
Now, we didn't wear the mask.
We didn't get fined.
But still, you see this everywhere.
Although, I will say, credit to Tennessee, from what I've seen of it so far.
Obviously, I've only been here for a few days, but what you see in, like, downtown Nashville is different from if you get out into greater Nashville.
Certainly, when we were driving across the state, we saw actually very few people wearing masks, which was nice.
Okay, number four.
Over the weekend, Biden, speaking of being a man losing his mind, seemed to indicate that he believes that he is running against George Bush.
This is what he said, listen.
This is the most consequent, not because I'm running, but because who I'm running against.
This is the most consequential election in a long, long, long time.
And the character of the country, in my view, is literally on the ballot.
What kind of country are we going to be?
Four more years of George, he's going to find ourselves in a position where if Trump gets elected, we're going to be in a different world.
You can see the woman doing the sign language for him there.
I feel bad for Biden's sign language interpreters.
I'd never thought about that until seeing that video.
But what do you do if you're a sign language interpreter for Joe Biden?
How do you convert his ramblings into coherent signing?
That seems difficult.
But anyway, Biden says, four more years of George.
Pretty clear though, that's what he said.
And he makes a few attempts, but is not able to conjure up Donald Trump's full name.
This is not a normal flub, right?
This is not a normal thing.
Unless you have dementia, then it is.
But to confuse Donald Trump with George Bush?
Of course, the media, as Biden's rapid response team, was ready to swoop in and do their jobs to cover for their man.
And right on cue, Jake Tapper, Brian Stelter, other usual suspects, came up with a cover story.
Their cover story was, oh, no, no, no, this is all fake news.
He didn't confuse George Bush with Donald Trump.
Joe Biden was talking to George Lopez in that interview, and so that explains why he said George.
This is what they're going with.
And he was talking to George Lopez for some reason, but that doesn't explain why he said four more years of George.
So now you're telling us that he thought he's running against George Lopez?
And that there might be four more years of George Lopez?
You think that makes it better in your mind?
That makes him seem more with it, you would say?
No, I don't think so.
Either way, I mean, he confused Donald Trump and some George.
I guess pick your George, we can't really say.
He didn't say Bush, in fairness.
He confused Donald Trump with some other George.
Curious George, who knows?
But no matter which George he confused him with, I think it's not a good sign.
Number five.
Tampax, the tampon brand, tweeted this recently.
This is what they tweeted.
It says, Fact.
Not all women have periods.
Also a fact, not all people with periods are women.
Let's celebrate the diversity of all people who bleed.
Hashtag myth-busting.
Hashtag period truths.
Hashtag trans is beautiful.
Right.
Of course, you know the first question I'm gonna ask when I read that is, what is a woman?
If not all people who menstruate are women, then please give us a workable definition of woman.
You can't.
I see that by now.
Okay, so moving past that.
Second point, celebrating people who bleed seems like the lowest imaginable bar, right?
Yes, we all bleed.
That doesn't mean we all menstruate, though.
And third point, think about what Tampax is doing here.
They're embarrassing themselves, pissing off a majority of their customer base, In order to pander to a tiny, infinitesimal fraction of their customers.
Percentage-wise, how many of their customers do you think are people who would call themselves men?
Either women who identify as men and are buying tampons, or even men who identify as women and, for some reason, are buying tampons.
Of those two categories, put them together, What percentage of the overall customer base is that for Tampax?
Or even of the potential overall customer base?
I don't think it's even close to 1%.
And so, what's in it for them?
You think about it from Tampax's perspective.
What's in it for you to send a tweet like this?
It's not like you were gonna lose customers by not tweeting it.
I don't think there were very many people who were, you know, Tampax customers and were about to stop buying Tampax because Tampax had yet to come out and give their opinion about whether or not men can have periods.
I don't think anyone was worried about that.
So by bringing this up as a brand, you can only lose customers.
You can't win.
This is a no-win situation.
You're ticking off a lot of people who would not have been ticked off otherwise.
And you're impressing a very small minority of people who even then, most of them, probably wouldn't have been ticked off if you hadn't said anything at all.
So what's in it for you?
Really nothing.
But this is, this speaks to the left's cultural dominance.
That big corporations are willing to lose money just to signal their allegiance to leftism.
That is the true hallmark of cultural dominance.
But remember, of course, that leftism is still somehow counterculture.
Corporations are losing money just to bow to leftism.
Yet leftists still position themselves as the counterculture radicals, somehow.
Right.
Sure.
Not very convincing.
Let's get to our daily cancellation in just one second, but before we do, you know, the presidential election is almost here, and we have an amazing day of programming for you.
Our live stream starts on Tuesday, November 3rd at 3 p.m.
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Okay, time for our daily cancellation.
Today we are cancelling pets.
All domesticated, non-productive, non-human, house-dwelling species are cancelled.
If you have one in your home right now, you can break the noose to them however you like, but they're cancelled.
And I don't say this based solely on my own anecdotal experience, but my anecdotal experience is nonetheless instructive, I think.
Especially after having traveled many hundreds of miles with a pet, once again, to move once again, we have lugged my wife's cat, not my cat, my wife's cat, hither and yon, house after house, for no discernible reason, we just cart this thing around.
And she doesn't make it easy for us.
So the worst was when we moved back to the Baltimore area from our brief two-year stint in Kentucky.
This was about five years ago or so, and we tried to drive it all in one day.
Two kids, babies at the time, plus the cat.
And we were making the long trek across West Virginia, driving basically the whole length of the state.
It was getting late, the weather was bad, it was December.
You know, up in the mountains.
So we decided we had to stop and sleep for the night.
You know, it was the safest thing to do.
The problem is that we had the dumb cat.
And we became like the holy family in Bethlehem.
Wandering around, looking for an inn that would take us in.
But they kept telling us no cats.
Some would accept dogs, but not cats.
Literal racism.
But that's a cancellation for another day.
Finally, I said enough of this, and we chose a hotel.
I didn't ask about the cat.
Instead, I just tried to sneak her into the hotel.
I did.
And I got one of those luggage carts, I put the cat carrier on the cart, covered it in like a jacket and luggage, and I tried to sneak it in.
But right as I was getting on the elevator and trying to close the door, the front desk woman ran over to me and said, sir, sir, excuse me, do you...
Do you have a cat?
And quickly, my mind ran through a number of possible responses, including ditching the cat in the elevator, making a run for it, moving to Mexico, changing my name, living my life as a fugitive.
I figured my wife might be a little miffed if I chose that option, though, so instead I said, yeah, I do.
I do have a cat.
I do.
This is the cat right here.
You caught me.
And there was another brief moment of us standing there staring at each other before the woman had to break the news to me that she was kicking our asses out.
I had to collect my family and the luggage, make the walk of shame, back out the building, past the front desk.
The most humiliating moment of my life, and I've had many of them, by the way.
Humiliating moments, I mean, not lives.
Only cats have multiple lives, because being utterly useless in one life isn't enough, it seems.
Finally, we found this dumpy old motel, the kind where, you know, the person at the front desk is behind bulletproof glass, and there was a drug bust currently happening in a room downstairs.
I'm not making that up, that really happened.
So I walked in, and I said to the guy, I said, can I bring my cat in?
And the guy looked at me as if to say, You can shoot heroin here.
Of course you can bring in a cat.
So I was grateful, but then we got to the room and it was, well, you know, it was what you'd imagine.
Bugs all over the bathroom, strange smells, a door that didn't shut properly, a severed human foot in the closet, you know, that sort of thing.
The kind of motel room where you only end up if things have gone horribly wrong in your life, as they had for ours, for us, in that moment anyway.
So, my wife breaks down in tears, says she can't stay here, she's scared for the baby, she's scared that we'll be murdered in the middle of the night.
I explained there's probably only like a 10% chance of that happening, if that, but she was hardly consoled.
So eventually we decided to leave the cat in the motel room.
She didn't mind the bugs, the cat, okay?
She liked the bugs, actually.
So we left her there and we went and checked into a regular hotel.
Came back the next day to pick up the cat.
Found her down in the lobby, continental breakfast, eating a stale muffin.
That part isn't technically true, but we did actually give our cat her own motel room and came back to pick her up the next day.
The housekeeper was confused, is all I can say.
This last trip to Tennessee wasn't as bad.
That's because I spent hours calling around, trying to find hotels ahead of time that would accept cats.
After about three hours, I couldn't find one, and my wife went on her phone, found one in five minutes.
Whatever.
She won't let me live that down probably for another couple of years.
So, the hotel wasn't a big issue, but the cat did puke, pee, and poop.
In her carrier, like, ten minutes into the drive.
Just evacuated all of her exits all at once.
And the car still smells like a petting zoo five days later.
But here's the question.
This is why I bring all this up.
What was all of this for?
Why are we going through this?
Why am I dealing with this puking, pooping creature, especially when I have kids who do quite enough of all of that already?
What are we getting out of the bargain?
The cat has never lifted a finger to help around the house.
The most she'll do is kill a mouse or a snake and leave its rotting carcass on my porch.
And you might say, oh, she's trying to share food with you.
Okay, well, even if she is, she always eats the meatiest part of it herself and leaves the bones and skin for the rest of us.
Selfish bastard, frankly, as are all pets.
I mean, we have a box in our house, like any cat owner, where she relieves herself.
Just a box of cat poop, sitting there in the basement.
And I have to debase myself by going and extracting her droppings and throwing them away.
I'm like five steps above her on the food chain, but she has subjugated me somehow.
And this is a cat we're talking about.
Dogs are far worse.
So don't think, oh yeah, cats, dogs are better.
No.
Dogs are far needier, far more emotionally unstable, People say they love having a dog who's always happy to see them when they get home.
But do you really need that much affirmation, that aggressively, every day?
You need someone to literally lick your face and slobber all over you as soon as you walk in the door every day?
Do you ever get to the point where you say, dude, just relax, bro.
Okay, give me some personal space.
How would you react if a human did the equivalent of that every time you came home?
Like as soon as you walk in the door, your spouse runs up to you and screams, You're home!
Thank God you're home!
I missed you so much!
I'm so happy that you're home!
Wouldn't that get old after about two and a half seconds?
Or maybe it wouldn't for you.
Maybe you'd enjoy that, you narcissist.
But the weird thing about a narcissistic dog owner is you still see them walking down the street holding bags of their dog's feces.
So they're narcissistic, but also, they have no sense of self-worth.
This is what has become of our species.
And you know, these are the same people who, they'll see a video of some allegedly cute dog doing something on, you know, some allegedly cute dog video online, and they'll say, we don't deserve dogs.
Dogs are angels sent from heaven.
We don't deserve them.
What?
We don't deserve them?
We do everything for them, they do nothing for us.
No, they don't deserve us.
No pets do.
To include your gerbil, your bird, your pet iguana.
So I'm cancelling all of them.
Even your goldfish is cancelled.
Enough is enough.
Someone has to stand up to that little bully.
And that's what I'm doing right now.
Besides, like I said, I already canceled all humans.
It's only fair to throw pets into the equation as well.
So nobody's allowed to have pets anymore.
I think we'll be a lot better off for it.
And I think as Americans, we spend like $5 billion a year or something on our pets.
Don't quote me on that, but it's in the billions.
So we'd save a lot of money too.
So in the end, I'm saving you money.
You should thank me for that.
But your pets are canceled.
And that does it for us today.
Thanks for watching.
Thanks for listening.
Godspeed.
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Hey everyone, it's Andrew Klavan, host of The Andrew Klavan Show.
Amy Coney Barrett has become the first smoking hot Supreme Court Justice, and our Leftist Tears tumblers are magically overflowing.
It isn't right for us to spend an entire show just drinking Leftist Tears to the dregs, but they taste so good.
