Today on the Matt Walsh Show, after a series of memorial services across several states, John Lewis was laid to rest at a funeral attended by many people including 50 congress members. Today we’ll discuss the blatant and outrageous double standard that allows departed politicians to have multiple funerals while average Americans still aren’t allowed to have one. Also Five Headlines including a whole trove of Epstein documents are now out, and a number of famous names are mentioned. And in our Daily Cancellation, I will finally cancel the most evil, deranged, and dangerous psychopaths in the country. All of that on the way.
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Today on the Matt Wall Show, after a series of memorial services across several states, John Lewis was laid to rest at a funeral attended by many people, including 50 congressmen and many others.
Today we'll discuss the blatant and outrageous double standard that allows departed politicians and other people to have multiple funerals while average Americans still aren't even allowed to have one.
Also, five headlines, including a whole trove of Epstein documents have been released.
A number of very famous names are mentioned.
We'll discuss that in our daily cancellation.
I will finally cancel the most evil, deranged, and dangerous psychopaths in the country.
These are people begging for a cancellation, and they'll finally get it today.
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Okay, Representative John Lewis, Laid to rest at a funeral in Georgia on Thursday, the funeral attended by dignitaries, former presidents, politicians from all over the country, including 50 members of Congress were there.
It was a culmination of several days worth of memorials and public remembrances for the late congressman and civil rights icon.
The journey began with a service in an Alabama chapel and then another at Troy University.
In fact, there were a couple at Troy University, I believe.
The congressman's body was also ceremonially escorted across a bridge in Selma by a military honor guard.
It was a horse-drawn carriage.
There was an audience there watching that.
Lewis was then laid in state in D.C.
for a few days of public viewing.
And then he was brought back down south to Atlanta for a series of memorials on Wednesday, followed by the funeral on Thursday.
In all, there were more than 10 ceremonies across five different cities in three different states.
Well, two states and DC, I guess.
The final ceremony, the funeral, was invite only, but many of the pews, if you look at the, for instance, this screenshot here, you can see many of the pews were still packed tightly with people sitting shoulder to shoulder.
Now, under normal circumstances, I would not begrudge a prominent figure like John Lewis, his memorials and posthumous celebrations.
Lewis, you know, obviously isn't the first such figure to have memorials like this.
John McCain died two years ago and he had a similarly packed schedule of memorial services.
But the difference between two years ago and today, obviously, is the coronavirus and the accompanying lockdowns and restrictions that we have all been under, or at least most of us have been under, in most circumstances.
And that's the point.
For months now, many Americans have either been prohibited from holding funeral services at all for their deceased loved ones, or have been forced to hold very small gatherings attended only by immediate family members.
I know people who have been in this situation.
All of us know people, or you might be one of these people.
I've heard these stories.
I've gotten many emails from people talking about this.
A father died, a grandfather, even a child died.
And either there was no funeral, Or there was just a very small funeral attended by immediate family members.
The CDC labels large or medium-sized in-person funeral services as quote, highest risk events.
And in many places, such events are still banned.
There was a funeral director who wrote an article for the Washington Post back in April.
And the article said that saying goodbye to a loved one has become a lonely affair.
That's true, but not for everyone.
A whole series of exceptions were made for John Lewis, just as they were made for George Floyd's various memorials and funerals.
As I said, under normal circumstances, it would make sense for John Lewis to have all these memorial services.
And under normal circumstances, there's nothing absurd about it.
Under any circumstance, to have all these memorial services for George Floyd and the Golden Casket and everything, even without coronavirus, would be totally absurd.
But even so, when it comes to coronavirus, exceptions made in both cases.
And the exceptions don't just apply to the events themselves.
Buck Sexton makes a good point.
He points out on Twitter, D.C.
regulations require that travelers from Georgia must self-quarantine for 14 days.
Well, will the 50 congressmen who attended Lewis's funeral in Atlanta, are they going to proceed directly to self-quarantine for 14 days?
Somehow I doubt it.
And this has always been the problem with the coronavirus policies and restrictions.
It's not just that they represent unconstitutional infringements on our liberties, though they do, but that they are blatantly arbitrary, and this is one of the reasons why they represent unconstitutional infringements on our liberty.
In many cases, like with the, you know, you've got more restrictions on church attendance, in some places you can't go to church at all, but you can still go to a BLM protest.
Not only is that arbitrary, but because it is arbitrary, that's one of the reasons why it's an unconstitutional infringement, because this is viewpoint discrimination.
It's the government saying, well, you know, if you have this point of view, and if you're gathering for this reason, then it's okay, but not for this over here.
Now, why can John Lewis have a dozen memorials in five cities while you weren't allowed to have even one for your beloved grandmother who died?
The answer is, quite simply, That your grandmother's life was not as important as the life of John Lewis.
According to the people in power.
That's what they're telling you.
That is really the reason.
There can't be any other reason.
Right now, nobody else would be allowed to do this.
You wouldn't be allowed to have... For most people who die, it wouldn't be an option anyway to have multiple memorial services.
But the point is, you wouldn't be allowed to.
You just simply couldn't do it almost anywhere in the country.
You could do it for John Lewis because the powers that be say he's more important than the rest of you peons.
Simple as that.
Why can't you go to church even while thousands of Black Lives Matter demonstrators and rioters can gather together, cram together in the street?
Because the powers that be don't care about your church or believe in its message.
They do care about BLM and they do believe in its message.
So one is allowed but not the other.
This is the true outrage and disgrace here.
And the word outrage is so overused that I'm hesitant to use it, but there are some things that are actual outrages.
This is one of them.
And if you had, you know, if you lost a loved one in the last few months, then yes, I think actual real outrage is probably what you're feeling when you see this.
This is perhaps the most explicit case of rules for thee but not for me that we have seen in modern times.
It is the very definition of tyranny.
Now, that's one notable thing to discuss from the funeral yesterday.
The other is Obama.
Speaking of disgraceful, Obama and his disgraceful political stump speech that he delivered during his eulogy.
It was supposed to be a eulogy of John Lewis.
Here's one piece of that.
Naming it the John Lewis Voting Rights Act, that is a fine tribute.
But John wouldn't want us to stop there.
Trying to get back to where we already were.
Once we pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Act, we should keep marching to make it even better.
By making sure every American is automatically registered to vote, including former inmates who've earned their second chance.
By adding polling places, and expanding early voting, and making Election Day a national holiday so if you are somebody who's working in a factory, or you're a single mom who's got to go to her job and doesn't get time off, you can still cast your ballot.
By guaranteeing that every American citizen has equal representation in our government, including the American citizens who live in Washington, D.C.
and in Puerto Rico.
They're Americans.
By ending some of the partisan gerrymandering so that all voters have the power to choose their politicians, not the other way around.
And if all this takes eliminating the filibuster, Another Jim Crow relic in order to secure the God-given rights of every American?
Then that's what we should do.
And, of course, he also attacked Trump's use of federal law enforcement officers.
But today, we witness with our own eyes police officers kneeling on the necks of black Americans.
George Wallace may be gone.
But we can witness our federal government sending agents to use tear gas and batons against peaceful demonstrators.
And he also started yammering about the filibuster and basically went down a whole list of political grievances.
This is just to remind you, first of all, this is a eulogy, so let's remember that.
It's what this is supposed to be.
You can kind of forget when you watch that, but it's supposed to be a eulogy.
Now, of course, using a eulogy as a platform for your political stunt speech is tasteless and grotesque, to put it mildly.
But it also shows you something important, I think, about the left and how the left operates.
Because for most normal people, a eulogy is a time, first, to celebrate the life and achievements of the deceased.
And then also, in most of the funerals I've been to, it is a place for spiritual reflections, for hopes and prayers for the repose of the departed soul.
But Obama, as a leftist, he draws no real distinction between personal, political, and spiritual.
For him, it's all the same.
He can't separate those things.
They're all exactly the same.
Politics is the religion of the left.
So stumping for a voting rights act at a eulogy to a leftist, that's okay.
It's a spiritual message.
And that's why a lot of leftists on social media, while others were complaining about this, a lot of leftists were saying, what's the problem?
I don't see the issue here.
Well, I know you don't see the issue.
You don't see the issue with someone getting up at a eulogy and start proposing bills that they want to see passed in Congress.
It's not the place for it.
But to you, it is the place for it because it's political, and this is a church, and for you, politics, religion, spirituality, it's all the same.
Politics is your religion.
That's why you don't see the issue with it.
But nonetheless, it's still disgraceful.
All right, let's move on to our five headlines.
Well, as we're about to get into some interesting news here, here's something.
The SpaceX capsule will be landing this Sunday, August 2nd.
The first time that SpaceX will have completed a successful crewed mission to the International Space Station.
The first time in over a decade that a crewed spaceship was launched from the United States.
So, in short, it's a pretty big deal.
And we're going to be streaming it across YouTube, Facebook, and DailyWire.com, featuring a special all-access live discussion with DailyWire God King Jeremy Boring.
All AXS members can join the chat and talk to Jeremy during the live stream of the mission.
Then you can stick around afterward for a live stream Q&A where you can watch him answer your questions in real time.
So don't miss out.
Join all AXS at dailywire.com and get 20% off with code AXS.
That's dailywire.com slash Walsh.
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With code access.
Number one, the Ghislaine Maxwell case.
I still don't know if that's how you pronounce her name.
I'm not sure if anyone knows how to pronounce her name, but I'm just going with that.
Hundreds of pages of documents were unsealed last night.
Some of the documents are transcripts from a deposition with Virginia Roberts, the woman who alleges that she was trafficked, one of many women trafficked, hundreds of women trafficked by Maxwell and Epstein, and she was a minor at the time.
Like so many other women were.
Other documents like emails and other things are included.
For example, there's an email between Epstein and Maxwell where Epstein appears to be feeding Maxwell a statement that she can give to the press denying allegations against her.
So stuff like that.
More interesting are the names that Roberts gives.
She said that she was directed to have sex with, be abused by, Alan Dershowitz, former New Mexico governor Bill Richardson, a number of prominent businessmen and financial guys, and she names Bill Clinton as a guy who was on Epstein's Sex Island, though she says she never saw him commit any crimes.
But you know, Bill Clinton on Sex Island, I think we could use our common sense on this one.
My concern, to be honest with you, is that it will amount to zero consequences for any of these scumbags.
One, because there's no justice in the world, especially for rich and powerful people.
We know that.
And also, two, because there are so many names and so much information and so many documents that I guess I'd be concerned that it all sort of ends up getting buried under the avalanche and there's not any particular focus on one of these guys or the other.
I hope that doesn't happen, but that's my worry.
And in any case, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
There are many more documents out there, and many big names, by the way, were redacted on the documents that we saw.
So, we'll see what happens.
The names that we really need to see, I think, are the people who are still currently wielding power.
Most of the names we've gotten are former this or that, former politicians.
I want to see the current ones, too.
Number two, St.
Louis prosecutors will not charge Officer Darren Wilson in the death of Michael Brown.
That's the headline.
If it sounds like I'm reading headlines from 2014 and I've gotten confused or something and I went back on Google by accident, I'm not.
This is a headline from last night.
St.
Louis prosecutors apparently reviewed Darren Wilson's case at the request of Michael Brown's family because this is what prosecutors do now, I guess.
They work as personal attorneys for the families of alleged victims.
So they asked him to review the case and he did.
And last night, he announced the results of the review that nobody knew was being conducted, and they say there isn't enough evidence to charge Darren Wilson.
We already knew that, of course, because this is now the third investigation into this shooting.
Third.
A grand jury investigated it, the Department of Justice under Barack Obama investigated it, and now a St.
Louis prosecutor has investigated it.
Maybe we'll get a, you know, we'll just get an investigation every few years, like a This is a ceremonial sort of thing.
All of these investigations have found that there is nothing to charge the officer with.
Three investigations all come to the same conclusion.
And that's because Michael Brown was a violent cri- We can say this now conclusively.
We could have said it six years ago conclusively.
Michael Brown was a violent criminal who assaulted a store clerk for no reason, just assaulted him, then assaulted a cop and tried to disarm him and died in the process.
We know that.
We know it from witnesses.
We know it from forensics.
We know it now from three investigations.
What else do we need?
But of course, none of this matters.
It could be investigated ten more times and the people who have bought into the Michael Brown false narrative will continue to buy into it.
It doesn't matter what comes out.
I mean, they could release video footage showing what happened.
Which is that we know what happened Michael Brown charged Darren Wilson and tried to take his weapon You know for a lot of forensics evidence for example and ballistic evidence for example, you know gunpowder powder residue on Michael Brown which you wouldn't get if Wilson was yards away shooting Brown while he has hands up saying don't shoot the gunpowder residue is because Brown was right on top of Darren Wilson when the gun went off Anyway, but it doesn't matter.
People that have bought into the false narrative will continue to defend it.
Number three.
The NBA started back up again last night, and every player, coach, and ref knelt for the anthem.
There you go, there.
You can see the spectacle.
Now, Charles Barkley, during the halftime show, provoked a lot of anger from the left.
He now has the canceled dogs hounding him for something that he said about the anthem issue.
And it was very provocative, extremely controversial, I have to admit.
I mean, I can't believe Barkley had the gumption to say this.
It's pretty shocking.
Listen to this.
Listen, the National Anthem mean different things to different people.
I'm glad these guys are all unified, but if people don't kneel, they're not a bad person.
I want to make that perfectly clear.
I'm glad they had unity, but if we have a guy who doesn't want to kneel because the anthem means something to him, he should not be vilified.
So there you go.
If you don't kneel, you're not a bad person.
That's all he said.
This is now provocative and controversial.
Now, he's right, of course, but think about what it says that this is a notable statement.
One that causes people to get angry and outraged.
All he's saying is, well, you're not necessarily a total dirtbag if you don't kneel.
And the left treats this as a shocking claim.
Because they demand, of course, total and absolute and unthinking allegiance to their cause and adherence to their talking points.
But think back even a year ago.
A year ago, two years ago, you had to defend, the left had to defend, people kneeling.
And now, if there's any defenses, it has to be a defense of people not kneeling.
That's how quickly this issue has shifted.
Which is one of the advantages of owning the culture, as the left does.
Number four, Ellen DeGeneres, who has been the target of a lot of criticism recently for, in this case, warranted criticism, for all the countless reports of her being an abusive sociopath to her staff and interns, allegedly, has sent out a letter.
Variety tells us it's an emotional letter, an emotional apology letter to her staff.
She's taking accountability, apologizing, Let's, let's, here's what she says.
She says, Hey everybody, it's Ellen.
On day one of our show, I told everyone in our first meeting that the Ellen DeGeneres Show would be a place of happiness.
No one would ever raise their voice and everyone would be treated with respect.
Obviously something changed, and I am disappointed to learn that this has not been the case.
And for that, I am sorry.
Anyone who knows me knows it's the opposite of what I believe and what I hope for.
I could not have the success I've had without all of your contributions.
My name is on the show, and everything we do I take responsibility for.
Alongside Warner Brothers, we immediately began an internal investigation, and we are taking steps together to correct the issues.
As we've grown exponentially, I've not been able to stay on top of everything and relied on others to do their jobs as they knew I'd want them done.
Clearly, some didn't.
That will now change, and I'm committed to ensuring this does not happen again.
And it goes on from there, but that's basically it.
That's the gist of it.
That's the tone.
She's accused of being a horrible boss who abuses her staff, and what's her response to that?
She blames her staff.
This is a total passing of the buck to her staff, who are the ones who originally accused her of being a bad boss.
And so, to prove them wrong, she's blaming them.
Zero accountability, zero responsibility, does not apologize at all for her behavior and lays the blame on her
staff.
Amazing. Although, you know, in fairness to her, you can kind of see why she... what else is she going to do?
I mean, the only other option is to come out and say, yeah, you know what?
I am a total scumbag.
I'm awful.
Everything, my whole shtick has been fake.
I'm not a nice person.
I'm a really terrible person.
I'm sorry about that.
Now, I would, I would respect it if she came out and said that, but you know, it's just when you're, when the accusation is essentially nothing less than you are at the core of your soul, a scumbag.
And that's going to be a really hard thing to come out and admit, especially when your
entire brand is being the opposite of that.
So if she were to admit it, then her brand goes away.
So it would take moral fortitude and courage and integrity to come out and admit it.
But she's not, because again, scumbag.
Number five, finally, this isn't really a headline per se, because Media Matters complains about us every single day, obviously, but the latest Daily Wire clip that Media Matters is offended by is this one from Ben's show, and they put the video online.
Leftists are whining about it, as usual.
I did have one thing I wanted to say about it, so let's play the clip.
Listen to this.
Hey Ben, I had a Star Wars question for you.
Good times.
I generally agree with your take on the sequel trilogy.
I mean, even if you liked one of those episodes, the trilogy as a whole was just a failure in my opinion.
And I noticed that they had announced that there's another trilogy scheduled to begin in 2022.
And just your opinion on, in an ideal world where Disney was getting it right, what would you like to see that next trilogy be about?
So, I've said before that I think that there's a great series to be made on Darth Plagueis.
I think that there's a great series to be made on Darth Bane.
The truth is that what makes the Star Wars universe interesting is the dark side of the force.
And so all the focus on the Jedi is actually a lot less interesting than the focus on the dark side of the force and its seductiveness.
So, you know, I guess that the High Republic is supposed to be their sort of prequels.
It's based on other Jedi, which is fine.
I mean, that's all fine.
They haven't really rolled up, rolled out exactly, you know, how SJW this is going to be.
I know that the Disney kind of imagineers have decided that they're only going to have female heroes from now on, which is absurd because Star Wars is essentially A little boy's property.
I mean, if you look at like the percentages of people who really are huge Star Wars fans, it breaks down pretty heavily male, I would think.
But I haven't seen what the, you know, I'll be curious to see what they do.
To me, the only redeeming feature of the sequels in Star Wars is the fact they actually finally explained why Rey was such a Mary Sue.
Like that, if they had not, then it would have been incredibly annoying.
But yeah, I'm curious to see what they're going to do.
I just hope that they don't do what they've been pledging to do, which is, you know, kind of throw in a bunch of SJW nonsense.
How dare he?
I, for one, am shocked and appalled by Ben Shapiro's sexism.
Appalled!
Now, granted, of course, he's absolutely right, but still.
Star Wars is primarily a boy thing.
Most of its fans are boys.
Not exclusively, but mostly.
That's just true, okay?
You might not like it, it might make your tummy hurt when someone says it, but it's true.
It's just a fact.
Um, but what I really want to say here, just using Ben's point as a platform to jump off of and into the abyss, um, this, this push in general to inject female action heroes into every damn movie and franchise is annoying for, for the same reason.
And it's really becoming, I mean, you go to Netflix or wherever, you know, every cop show or action film.
Or whatever it is.
Almost all of them have female leads now.
And yeah, it gets a little silly after a while.
Silly because in many cases, these are still genres with mostly male audiences.
The left, they're the ones that say that representation is important, right?
Because people, when they're watching films, they want to relate to the characters and sort of imagine themselves as those characters.
That's the whole reason why we're told that representation matters in film.
Well, okay.
That's also why it's dumb to turn every action film with a mostly male audience into a feminist fever dream.
And it's not just the male audience either.
I mean, I've spoken to many females who are also rolling their eyes at the girl power shtick and have had enough of it.
Yes, these are fiction stories.
Most of these sorts of films are not exactly hyper-realistic to begin with.
Even so, the suspension of disbelief really gets a hell of a workout when you're watching a 120-pound hot chick beat up a bunch of brawny 250-pound dudes, right?
Yeah, seeing Liam Neeson in a movie like Taken, Single-handedly kill like 300 Albanian sex traffickers with his bare hands by himself?
That's not exactly true to life, okay?
I mean, you're at no risk of mistaking that for a documentary, though it would be one hell of a documentary for sure.
But take Liam Neeson out and replace him with like Charlize Theron, and the suspension of disbelief has just snapped.
It was already strained, now it's snapped under the pressure.
under the strain and a kind of cool and tense but also admittedly ridiculous action scene becomes just a straight-up cartoon.
Now, look, I know there's no way to make this point without the Media Matters headline of Daily Wire host outraged by female action stars or, you know, whatever.
No, not outraged.
Not outraged.
This is not outrage.
When you get outrage from me, you know it, okay?
No, I think it's dumb and silly, is what I'm saying, and a huge percentage of the audience, male and female, agrees that it's dumb and silly.
They just won't say it out loud.
That's the difference.
Okay, let's go to our daily cancellation, but before we do, You gotta get the Reader's Pass.
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That was a great read right there.
I am a professional, folks.
Okay.
Let's go to our daily cancellation.
This is a very important subject, and I believe I have addressed it before on the show.
I don't think I've taken the time to issue a cancellation related to it.
I don't think.
If I have, then I'm repeating myself and just deal with it.
Stop complaining.
Okay?
This is my show.
Don't judge me.
So I want to show you something.
This is a real photo.
I took it myself.
Difficult to look at, I warn you.
If you have kids in the room, I would say have them turn away for a moment.
Not appropriate for them.
I don't even know if they're gonna let me show this without blurring it out.
It is pretty graphic.
But okay, here we go.
Here's the picture.
As you can see there, those are shopping carts in a Walmart parking lot.
Left in the middle of the parking lot.
This is what I stumbled across yesterday.
There is a cart corral not but 20 feet away.
Look at the one closest to the grass.
That's five feet from the receptacle.
Five feet.
This is someone who, almost to make a point, had pushed the cart nearly all the way there and then said, no, I can't go any further.
I can't.
I've gone too far.
My legs will give out.
It's too much.
And then they just leave it there.
And this was a breezy day yesterday, by the way.
Those are not shopping carts.
Those are torpedoes.
All it takes is an errant wind to send one of those things crashing into someone's side panel.
It has been the primary goal of my life and my life's main ambition to combat these shopping cart ditchers, to expose them, to punish them, to shame them, I truly believe that the entirety of a person's character can be assessed based on what they do with their shopping carts after they've unloaded their groceries.
It may seem like a small thing, but it's precisely because it's a small thing that it tells you everything you need to know.
See, if you cannot be bothered, for the sake of your fellow man, to return your shopping cart, to walk 20 feet to return it, or 5 feet to return the cart, then we know that the cutoff, the bar for you, For what you're willing to do for the betterment of society is somewhere below returning a shopping cart.
You see, we know that the bar is below that.
Maybe there are some things you're willing to do for society and for your fellow man, but it's not anything as significant as returning a cart.
I'll put it this way.
If you're trapped in a burning building and a shopping cart ditcher walks by outside, are you going to have any confidence that he's going to run in and save you?
No, because this is someone who won't even put his cart away to save your vehicle from getting scratched.
You think he's going to risk his life?
No, of course he's not.
Which is why, if there was a shopping cart ditcher trapped in the burning building, I would just leave them to their death.
That's a little strong, isn't it?
I'm coming on a little bit strong.
I'll pull back just a smidge from that.
Here's my point.
You know, there's no excuse.
Someone said to me yesterday, when I was complaining about this online, because like I said, I'm a professional, this is what I do.
Someone said, we have to make exceptions for the elderly and disabled and mothers with children.
Yeah, everyone else, but make exceptions for them.
Sorry, no, no exceptions.
First of all, if we made exceptions for old people and women, then who exactly are we holding accountable here?
Because that's like 85% of a grocery store's clientele.
But more to the point, if a person is capable of getting the cart to begin with, walking around the store with it, doing the 19-mile lap around Walmart, going back to their car, then they're capable of going back to the cart corral.
I don't want to hear the excuse.
If you've already done all that, and it's time to return your cart, you can't suddenly go, oh, I'm too old.
I'm old, I can't do it on my knees.
So I've had an attack of old suddenly, and I just can't anymore.
I've already walked 57 miles to get everything at Walmart, but this is the last 10 feet.
I simply can't do it.
Can't do it.
No.
We've seen what you're capable of, all right?
Return the cart, Gramps.
No excuse.
As for mothers, I don't want to hear that excuse for a minute.
I've been shopping with four kids by myself.
I might not be a mother.
I could be a mother, for all you know, these days, okay?
If I choose to be a mother, then I am.
Whether I am or not, I return the cart.
If I can do it, you can do it.
It's not that hard.
Put the kids in... Let me explain how this works.
Here's the process for any mothers who are confused about this.
Put the kids in the car.
Put the groceries in the car.
Return the cart.
And then come back to your car and drive away.
Happily ever after.
Not hard to do.
Oh, but I don't want to leave my precious children in the car alone.
You can't leave them in a car while you walk 15 feet away, really?
What's going to happen when you're in that 15, in the 20 seconds it takes you to do that?
What do you think is going to happen?
What's the worst case scenario?
It's hot out, I can't leave them in the car.
What do you do when you're at a gas station?
I mean, I hope you don't leave the car running while you pump the gas.
Do you take all the kids out at the gas station?
Alright kids, get out.
Come stand here at pump 5.
I can't leave you in the car alone.
Come on.
Don't be ridiculous.
I actually had a mother tell me once that she doesn't want to get arrested for leaving her kids in the car alone while she returns the car.
Right, because there are cops in the parking lot with measuring tape, and if you walk more than seven feet from your car to return a car, they're going to arrest you on the spot.
Sure, I'm sure that's happened millions of times, I'm sure.
It's a really common occurrence.
Stop.
Stop with your excuses.
Take ownership.
Take accountability.
There may be some excuses.
Let me backtrack a little bit.
If you get abducted, on your way to return the cart, okay. If you get raptured
in the parking lot of a Superfresh while you're returning your cart, then okay, I guess God in
that case will be the shopping cart ditcher and I'll have words with him about that at a
later date. But, or even if you're, say, Batman, okay, and you're in the parking lot, you see
the bat signal and the Riddler is about to blow up City Hall and you've got to go and,
okay, fine.
I'll allow for that.
But aside from those, if you are not abducted, raptured, dead, or Batman, return your damned cart, you scoundrels.
Scoundrels and rapscallions, the lot of you.
That's what I say.
Cancelled.
And we will leave it there.
That was, what was that, 10 minutes on shopping carts?
You know, there's nothing else going on in the world.
It's not like there's more important news happening in the world.
So I'm going to carve out some time to talk about shopping carts because this is an important issue.
And I'll leave you with that for the weekend to ruminate on and meditate on.
Talk to you next week.
Godspeed.
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