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May 9, 2024 - The Megyn Kelly Show
47:50
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Hollywood's Purgatory and Apologies 00:14:57
Welcome to the Megan Kelly Show, live on Sirius XM Channel 111, every weekday at least.
I'm Megan Kelly.
Welcome to the Megan Kelly Show.
Joining me now, the one, the only Roseanne.
Roseanne plays principal borders in Mr. Burcham, and she is, of course, a star.
She's hilarious.
Roseanne was last with us in episode 552 last year.
We talked about everything under the sun, her personal bio, all of it.
So many fun facts about Roseanne that I did not know, and her journey to becoming one of the biggest stars in the world.
So check that out when you have some spare time.
Episode 552.
And I'm super excited to have her back on the show today and in person.
Roseanne, how are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm so good.
You're good.
You're really not good.
Why?
Because it's so damn early.
I know.
This was wrong of us.
It was wrong to stay out as late as I did for being as old as I am.
You don't seem old.
You were like bringing up.
Oh, I'm younger than I look.
You look good.
I don't like whatever you're drinking.
Keep drinking it.
Oh, I will.
Did you have fun?
Was it good to be at a premiere?
It really was because the best part of it was that it was only a half hour long to watch something.
Yeah, the show's happening.
Because I can't watch a movie.
I fall asleep after about seven minutes.
If it's a like really killer thing where people are getting killed and there's a lot of things going on, I get bored so easily.
I can't sit through a movie for more than seven minutes.
So this one, I had a lot of coffee and I stayed coherent and awake 30 minutes watching.
I've never seen a 30-minute premiere in my life, and it was fabulous.
That's big.
It was the perfect timing to sit there for an old person and not have to go to the bathroom, put it on pause.
You see what I'm saying?
You're talking about yourself like you're 200.
I feel like I'm 200.
No, no.
No, I do, though.
I do.
I know I'm more than 200, though.
I know that I've been here for time immemorial and I've never died.
I've had a thousand incarnations and I'll have a thousand more.
You and Shirley, Shirley McLean.
Remember that?
She's the all of her past lives thing.
Do you believe that?
I met her.
Oh, did she tell you what you used to be?
Oh, yeah, she tried, but I had to wash her mouth out with soap by the end of the night.
That's one of my I love the movie with Albert Brooks.
She is featured in Meryl Streep defending your life.
She comes in as part of the Past Lives Pavilion piece where you can go into this pavilion.
It's about people who are kind of in purgatory and figure out what you used to be.
Like, I don't know.
Do you think you were a knight?
You were a warrior, or were you more like a sheep?
Well, I think, as the, you know, if I refer to the Torah, which I do study because I am a Jew, you know, which I hate to say right now because it's a dangerous subject, which is why I want to say it.
Yeah, right.
But as the Torah says, I've always been a fat old Jew every lifetime.
I've been a fat, old, nosy Jewish woman that is always in trouble with her big mouth.
Yep.
And it's always going to be that way.
Thank God.
It's a blast.
I mean, it really is a blast.
Than fearing that free speech is being shut down to such an extent that you can't just say, you can't just verbally be a poet or an artist or somebody who is a provocateur, or which all comes together in comedia.
And that's why I'm going to start referring to myself as the artist formerly known as Roseanne.
Oh, I like that.
I really have thought about that.
Okay.
And I'm thinking it's this kind of an age.
And Principal Bortles is that she kind of is a George Burns kind of character.
My man holding a cigar.
And, well, because I told you the nicotine thing.
You know, these are nicotine leaves.
Michael Knowles set you up.
He was there last night distributing his favorite cigars.
And this is, I believe, Michael Knowles offering we have here.
I saw it there on the table.
It was wrapped in plastic.
And I said that God is providing me with a way to satisfy my great craving for nicotine right now.
How long have you been off the cigarette?
So, God, six months.
Because I haven't been near a comedy club.
But as soon as I get around comics, I've got to smoke.
See?
Do you do the vaping at all?
Is that in any way satisfactory?
He's chewing on it.
She's chewing on the stokey.
No, because it releases tobacco direct.
What about the vaping?
That's big here in California.
Do you vape?
Yeah, of course I vape.
I vape day and night.
Are you kidding?
I got one vape to, you know, wake up and another vape to go to sleep.
I vape, I gummy, I smoke pot, not cigarettes, because my daughter-in-law said I can't get near the baby if I don't give up cigarettes.
So I did the next day.
Wow.
And it's been six months because I can do that, you know.
Do you do any hypnosis or any of that?
Like they say?
My entire life is a hypnotic trance of some sort because I never really know where I am or what I'm doing.
Thank God I have a son who is my handler.
I met him last night.
He looks just like you.
He has your exact eyes.
Well, my beard is fuller than his, I think.
But yeah, he does look like me and he's a good son.
And you know who I met?
This crazy world.
I never come to LA.
You never know who you meet, though.
Well, I went down looking for a Bloody Mary because they had me in this hotel right on the fucking freeway on-ramp.
Granted a goddamn drink.
I need a Bloody Mary or my bowel sees up like a goddamn submarine, you know.
So, anyways, I have to walk down and I walk in this place, get me a Bloody Mary.
And what do I hear?
Roseanne Barr.
Excuse me, but I just want to say hello.
It's Leanne Morgan.
I go, oh my God, do you know how much I love you?
And I just was walking in there and meeting her, and I just love her.
And I met her in LA.
I was going to guess Larry the cable guy from that invitation.
Could have been 50-50.
I don't know either way.
She's from Tennessee.
I love their accent.
Where I stayed, it was all guys from the Milken Conference, which is going on out here.
I don't know anything about finance, but this is a big conference where I guess Elon Musk is here and all these muckity mucks from Wall Street and finance.
And I said to Doug, my husband, I'm like, didn't he go to jail for talking?
He was like a felon.
Yeah.
But, you know, it just goes to show you can make enough money before the fraud, you can come back.
You can bounce right back.
You know, convicted felon or not.
That's why it's called fraud.
It's fraud because it never ends.
Yeah.
Well, it's so great.
And it never gets investigated.
Even if it does get investigated and you get caught, you get let off.
Yeah.
Or you go to a cushy prison like what's her name?
What was his name?
Epstein's partner.
Oh, Giselle.
Not Giselle.
Ghelaine Maxwell.
Guillon, it's called.
Guilon.
Guillon.
Yeah, they're saying she's in jail on Epstein Island.
What kind of prison do you think Trump might be looking at if he violates his gag order again?
I think they are going to try to put him in prison.
I really do.
Well, they have to, because that's what they do to all the innocent.
And they've done it for a million years.
Anybody who speaks out and says anything having to do with the truth, that's why you've got to mix it in with bullshit.
This is what I tell you.
You got to give only a certain amount of truth with a whole bunch of bullshit behind it.
Otherwise, they can sue you.
Because you know what?
I did sue the tabloids of America under Rico, and I did win, although I did sign an NDA never to discuss the terms, but I did win under Rico because it ain't nothing but organized crime, all of it.
And they're all about to get caught and go down.
Wait, when was that?
Huh?
When?
When did you say that?
That was in the 90s.
Oh, so like, were they saying things about you during the show?
Like, you and Tom Arnold?
Was it during all that nonsense?
Yeah, that was a huge, that was the biggest mind screw you'll ever.
I'm writing a book, you know.
Oh, I want to tell you.
Yeah, I'm going to write a book where I tell all the personal secrets of all my former castmates.
Oh, good.
I'm going to tell every dirty thing I helped them cover up that they have forgotten about, apparently.
I mean, I just don't know what's wrong with people.
If I, I would not, I would be careful of offending the Jews.
I mean, they always say, as you can see on every form of media, especially on the internets, everything's the Jews' fault.
They all say it is.
And yet they want to fuck with us.
You want to live up to that and show them the power.
But I mean, well, don't go saying that we run everything and then try to fuck with us.
You know what I'm saying?
And be surprised if you're surprised how things do actually work.
You know, in the beginning of the show, Adam Corolla was saying he can't stand Sarah Gilbert.
I think he called her a bitch and said when he went on her talk show, she was a nightmare to him.
I'm sure this comes as a huge shock to you.
He said that.
It comes as a shock to me that he said it.
No.
Oh, yeah.
Because, I mean, does he have any idea what, how she means to harm people?
I should have fired her when I seen her trying to harm another woman star back in the day.
She was taking some of her, they were kind of the forecursors to Antifa.
She was taking some of her pals there, and they were going over to stand in a woman who had her own television show and made the unfortunate mistake of wearing a fur.
Oh, boy.
And they went and stood in her yard when her children were in that house and called her a murderer and shit like that in her yard.
And I called her in and I said, I will fire you from this show if you ever come against another woman in Hollywood.
Something's wrong with you that you do that.
She was showing some colors.
I mean, but I mean, can you imagine the self-righteousness?
No, to go in somebody else's home on their property and judge them.
By the way, we're at the top of the food chain.
I'm sorry, but we are.
But I mean, it's like this: you're a Hollywood princess, okay?
You've been in Hollywood forever, and you are in the upper rungs of the ruling class that congratulates themselves at every benefit on earth.
Your family is that.
You're a princess, and you're going to come against a woman who's just coming up.
You're going to smash her face under your jack boot.
What is this?
And, you know, it is that.
Hollywood is that.
And people, they are finding it out.
Hollywood is the boot right on your face if you don't tow the line.
If you don't tow the line as a woman, as an artist, or you know, as a free thinker, or any party that they try to ram down our throats, they're just do what they do and steal us blind, period.
Both parties, all bullshit.
And only one person knows that.
Only one person is willing to fight for that.
That person is a populist.
He's not a Republican per se.
He's kicking all their ass out of there.
And it's so great.
And I want to see so many black Republicans running the new Republican Party because that party was founded by Frederick Douglass, which nobody on the left even knows.
And that pisses me off.
Wait, let me jump back because I wondered when you were talking about.
I need another drag of this.
I'm down to my nerves.
You were talking about Hollywood and what happens.
And I can't stop thinking about J.K. Rowling and how they did it to her.
They all turned on her.
All these young stars who we would never know their names had it not been for her turned on her because they thought she got too controversial.
I knew it was going to happen to her because she didn't stand up for me.
J.K. Rowling?
Oh, yeah.
She's a lefty.
You know, people forget, even though she's out there on the gender thing.
She's a little lefty.
I mean, but you know, the lefties don't generally stand up for a whole bunch of lefties voted for Trump after what they done to Bernie.
Hello, that's why he's got, that's why he kicked Hillary's ass is because of that.
Did you feel sorry for J.K. Rowling or no?
Because she didn't.
I mean, she's, it's hard to feel sorry for people that don't, when you're first on the cross, it's hard to feel sorry for people who just walk by you while you're up there hanging.
It's hard to feel sorry when they're next hanging next to you there.
Yeah.
It's hard, but you, if you are a person of faith, well, you have to.
And so, you know, you have to go, well, you know, I forgive you for not even asking me what did I mean after knowing me for a generation and a half or, you know, before judging me so harshly and then refusing to allow me to explain.
Because I had a contract in my contract said, I knew I was going to get in trouble.
I mean, because I always, you know, just because of all the lives you've lived being this woman who gets in trouble.
Blackface Controversy Explained 00:07:25
Yeah, I am like a whatever I am, a comic something.
But I like, I like a free flow of ideas from, you know, I like to, you know, I mean, I like to go on stage and do a lot of characters and stuff like that.
I try to keep it sane in front of the camera.
I'm not doing a good job of it today.
But there's a lot of ideas going.
And you knew you'd get in trouble.
And what I always do.
Did you have something in the contract that said you can't fire me?
I had a thing saying I had 24 hours to cure anything I said which would be taken as offensive by the advertisers.
Oh boy.
So did they tell you you couldn't?
Yeah.
They told me I could not have those 24 hours.
I could not be allowed on any of their other programs, which like I go, hey, put me on the view or Jimmy Kimmel.
Those guys have both done blackface.
So obviously you don't have you got double standards on your racism crap.
Yeah, hello.
I've never done blackface.
Same.
And, you know, Joy says she was imitating a beautiful black princess queen or something.
Okay.
Well, it's blackface.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Whoopee defended it and Whoopi stood next to Ted Danson in minstrel show blackface at a rose act and thought it was hilarious.
And it was hilarious.
And it kind of was hilarious.
Well, we used to be definitely because of her sitting next to him laughing.
But that made it hilarious because it was a statement there.
But you know, it was her going, hey, I got a white man puppet now.
But can I tell you something?
Like, those same bitches, they didn't defend me when I just said, people used to do this, this blackface.
I wasn't talking about minstrel show blackface.
I was talking about Colin.
And they also didn't defend me.
So this is what they do, right?
They sat there at your network and let them drive you out of the network, out of your own show.
They didn't say a word.
They have no courage.
Well, Whoopee did say, she said, well, I have a feeling that Roseanne didn't mean nothing racist, that she did what she did so that we could all learn something.
I saw her say that one time, and I was like, Hey, why don't you call me up, bitch?
And then ask me that on the air so I can have a chance to say, particularly now that what I was talking about was the Iran deal and it's the existential threat it posed to Israel.
We went over it the last time as evidenced by October 7th.
But I have to say, I don't think now is going to be World War III, I guess.
I hope not.
I pray not.
Well, let me ask you a question about that because we talked about, you know, what you said and how they fired you and all that the last time.
Yeah, they refused to allow me to explain what I meant because they just love the Iran deal so much.
Well, and they just wanted it, like, they decided to go controversial.
They hated Trump.
I think they wanted me to come back so they could get rid of me and kill my character because I like Trump.
Okay, but here's my question to you.
Because it's been a few years now.
What, like five, six, six years?
And I was surprised last night because you brought it up on the stage when we were doing the Burcham QA after the premiere.
I know.
I always say the wrong thing.
Well, no, I just want, I said, oh my God, it's still really, it's right there for her.
You know, because they killed my character.
And it's still like you're.
They took my life's work.
You think somebody gets over that?
Oh, it's okay.
She, you know, wrote that off her blood and sweat and tears for 20, you know, for years on the comedy stages, you know, having shit thrown at her head because people didn't like funny women coming from nothing.
All self-made.
We talked about that the last time, too.
Like you raised your housewife and just decided I'm going to give this a try.
None of that cared.
None of them cared.
None of that mattered.
And always fought the good fight.
Always broke every rule on TV that tried to make people feel shame in who they were or to try to divide the races.
And they always hated that I asked for, I demanded black characters and black writers.
It was always a fight.
They fought me till the end.
And when I want to have a black granddaughter, you cannot imagine the fight they put me through.
Wow, really?
Oh, yeah.
That did happen.
I remember that.
Oh, yeah.
And then what they wrote for her, I wouldn't allow.
So I policed the writer's room for their ideas on race are so obsolete.
And they're just racist.
I mean, they're classes as hell.
Did you see?
They hate working people.
I mean, their comments on what they think working people, I mean, plus you don't want to.
Look, did you see just two days ago, the governor of New York, Kathy Hochul, what she said about black kids in the Bronx?
I couldn't believe that.
It's like not even a thing.
I don't know if we have that sound about you guys.
I'll play it for the audience if we do.
It's gotten like a couple of mentions here or there.
No one's blown this up into a career.
No, they bury everything they do.
You know why?
We have it here.
Like Biden writing the three strikes crime bill.
They buried that.
Stand by.
Watch.
Here she is.
To build a phenomenal supercomputer that is going to be accessible to researchers in New York, college students.
And I want others to follow because right now we have, you know, young black kids growing up in the Bronx who don't even know what the word a computer is.
They don't know.
They don't know these things.
And I want the world to open up to all of them.
Okay.
Now she says, I misspoke.
How?
You did not.
You said what you really believe.
And the reason there's no blowback is because they agree with her.
These people who are lecturing everybody about race all the time didn't see anything wrong with what she said.
Well, because they don't know any black people.
They don't.
The only black people they know are in their circle.
And those black people, they probably don't know any working class type black people or middle class black people, probably not at all either.
Because they just live in a bubble of very privileged, wealthy people that don't go no place but with people they call their enemies who have the same amount of money and the same donors.
They hang with their donors.
They don't care about the American people, obviously.
They like to replace us all.
They don't like the American workers because we want like, I say we, but sometimes I still feel like, you know, I'm the mom of it all because I am in a lot of ways.
And I'm not going to let them take that from me.
They'd love to, but they can go fuck theirself.
Isn't that what you said was going to be on your gravestone?
Three Months Free Offer 00:03:15
What is it?
Yeah, go fuck yourself.
But no, but I mean, because I know that their ideas are so ugly.
And I came up from, you know, pre-integrated working class area.
And I was, we were on welfare, you know, my family.
We were Jewish on welfare.
There was a lot of weird intermixes going on there.
And everybody was married to their first cousin, too.
Oh, excellent.
It was a weird thing.
You know, I had outward eyes.
I don't, I'm not normal.
Well, thank God for that.
Wait, do we have time to show her clip of Principal Borders?
Let's watch this for the serious XM audience because they've been with us this whole two hours on our Mr. Bircham Deep Dive.
Take a look at Roseanne, Roseanne, as the principal.
Hey, are you a vet?
I was in the 487th.
The 487th?
What did you do?
Sell the most thin mints?
I survived Space Mountain.
Are you shitting me?
We lost a lot of good men that day.
Hey, everybody.
This idiot is pretending to be a vet just to get a free meal.
You know what unit you're in now?
86.
Careful.
This is my cosplay costume.
Don't come back or go to Canada.
That wasn't too big a challenge for you.
It was so fun.
It was really fun being able to play a really out-of-control, horrible person.
And fall more horrible all the time, like sexually harassing the workers and such.
It's fun.
I'm Megan Kelly, host of the Megan Kelly Show on SiriusXM.
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Welcome back to the Megan Kelly Show, Roseanne Barr.
My co-star in Mr. Bertram is with me.
I mean, that's like, I'm embarrassed to even say co-star with you.
There's like, I don't act, you act.
I read lines, and I have to say, Roseanne, I really enjoyed it.
I enjoyed my first time.
I can tell you.
I can tell that you enjoyed it.
It was fun.
Yeah, you've got the bones for it.
Optimistic View on Nonsense 00:15:34
Oh, stop it right now.
No, you do.
I'm giving you some tips.
Yes, I need some.
I'm going to give, I'm taking you under my tutelage.
Oh, I would love that.
Yeah, I'm going to teach you about timing and the boom.
I don't know.
Like, I have no, I just didn't.
I'm going to teach you because I just know once you get it, you're going to really do it.
I didn't know that was something you could learn.
I thought that kind of thing was a gift that you either had or didn't have.
Well, once you see it, then you get it.
Oh.
But you might not be seeing it because you haven't been doing it that long.
Ever.
Right.
I'm excited to learn that there's a way of doing that better.
I mean, I just.
Yeah, there's a way of learn.
I thought I was like a...
It's like a learning curve thing, comedy.
I felt like a painter they were asking to sketch.
And it was like, I don't know how to do that.
I only know how to paint, but I'll take a little journey over to your sketch pad and see what I can, you know, bang out.
Anyway, I enjoyed it.
Good, too.
Oh, thank you.
I mean, you and Tyler are the funny, like Mr. Carponzi.
How funny is that guy?
He is so hilarious.
I love hanging out with him.
I mean, Tyler is the funniest.
One of the fun.
I mean, all these comics, though, these young people like Kyle, too.
He is so funny to hang out with.
He's his market.
And, you know, just to be able to jam, I guess it's like kind of jazz, you know.
Yeah.
Well, I can see why you spent a life in comedy and around comedians and in comedy clubs.
It's very uplifting and it's a very smart, clever group.
Like to, I like to push the limits with people to see when they stop thinking I'm serious and I realize I went over into the absurd.
Well, that's why I always laugh when the left-wing press does these big articles.
Roseanne says this about childblood.
It's like you don't get her, you don't get her at all.
She's provoking you, and you're walking right into it.
It's so great.
That's why I like Trump.
He does it too.
Big time.
Yes.
Yeah, he big time does it, doesn't he?
Now, what about you were mentioning during the break?
We kept our conversation going about Whoopi Goldberg.
You have additional thoughts on Whoopi Goldberg.
Oh, I like to slap her right upside the head very gently, nothing serious to harm her in any way, just to kind of realign a little bit of her wheels, as I say.
Why?
You said she's liberal friends.
I just like to slap them upside the head, see their eyes wiggle just a little to note they've been corrected.
Why?
What's wrong?
What'd she do?
Well, her stuff on the Jewish people is offensive to me as a Jew, with particularly since she culturally appropriated the name Goldberg and she's not a Jew and it's a joke.
And it's when she did her whole bit about how Jews are white and therefore they're not in a minority group.
She got in trouble about this comments months before 10-7.
Off.
They didn't kill her character and fire her and steal her life's work.
Same network.
Yeah.
Same, same hands.
But because she does, she's still useful to them, you know?
And, you know, it's pretty amazing to watch it.
I never watch that show because it makes my blood boil.
I know.
We pulled.
I thought about just walking on, though, because they wouldn't stop me.
I was going to walk right on that show and write on Jimmy Kimmel, too.
Because, you know, I added significant numbers to their shows during a significant amount of sweeps.
They could use the power of a Roseanne show.
They'd be too damn scared.
I hope they all wear the adult diapers like I do.
Maybe I could put out a warning that I may walk on.
But I don't think anybody would stop me in the crew or something like that, especially if I had a camera crew with me.
Oh, my God.
I just walk on and go, let's just get really real about what's real.
What would you say?
Like, well, if you were sitting across from Whoopee on that set.
What do you think of Iran, Whoopi?
How come nobody talks about Iran?
Are we in World War III or what?
Why is nobody talking about that?
Who cares about all this other stuff?
Is it a big cover, Iran and the border?
Or is one a cover for the other?
I mean, what?
Why is our country in this place?
It's not good.
What do you make of what's happening on the college campuses with the anti-Semitism that we hear shouted all the time?
It's just Iran.
But what do you think about like the American students showing their hand in a way that's, I think, really alarming?
It's deeply alarming.
It's just like in Germany, the first place where they introduce false science, which is Monsanto science, which I call Monsetan, Monsetan Inc., false science that doesn't follow the patterns of science,
like being peer-reviewed and having follow-up and things like that for pharmaceuticals, one thing.
Fault science.
And Learning for money from the highest donors, which don't even come from the United States, and have an agenda, which is to me, it's the new world order,
NWO, the NWO, everyone says new world order, but to me it's the Nazi world order because the Nazis did not lose World War II.
You know, they came here in Operation Paperclip and they took over our sciences and our space program.
And you can Google it, but they don't teach this in universities.
And Persia was renamed Iran, which means Aryan in Farsi by Hitler.
Google it.
So what's your point?
This is a holy war that we're entering into.
It's the end, war to end wars.
It's like the ultimate war, Armageddon, I guess, the end of time and the end of days.
And a lot of people believe that.
How do you think Biden's been handling it?
Well, I think it's a movie.
And I think Biden isn't Biden.
He's an actor.
Wait, legit.
Actually, or...
Yeah, I think it's Jim Carrey in a mask.
Okay, no.
Because nobody else can pull up that stairs five times in a row, but Jim Carrey like that.
But no, I don't know.
I don't think any of us really know anything that's going on.
There's things going on that don't make any sense at all, like German warfare against people.
I mean, it's on another level that we're not hearing about in any news show.
That's all distraction.
Something really other is happening, and it's being fought in ways we don't even know about.
They say subterranean tunnels.
That's where warfare is being conducted.
Worldwide now, you know, tunnels, subterranean warfare.
I'm curious, like, where, where do you get your news?
Like, how do you bone up on the news when you don't trust news and you don't?
Unclassified CIA documents and government documents.
Like that you Google on the internet, or is there somebody you trust?
Or how do you?
I go to military sites.
And have you always done that or is that of our allies as well, not just of the United States State Department, but of our allies in the UN.
And I also read the papal bulls from the Vatican.
And I also read statements out of Switzerland, Basel, Switzerland, and stuff.
I read really deep stuff because I love to read.
I've always loved to read.
And I read because I read and tweet.
I have many sites.
Some of them are with a lot of really intelligent people worldwide.
And we share information too.
And how do you make sure this is one of the big questions in this decade, this century?
How do you make sure that you don't get manipulated, that somebody doesn't corrupt you with fake news, fake information, right?
How do you know what's real?
Verify it three times.
How do I, I mean, not just you, but anyone.
You know, how do you?
You have to verify.
You have to check people's references.
Really check references and sources and verification of a variety of sources.
Otherwise, you are going to be duped because it's all about duping you.
You know, duping.
That's the goal of it.
So we'll be, you know, docile and go along.
That's what happened in Germany: fear.
Fear makes docile people.
But also, words are the greatest weapon.
They can't, I mean, they can try to shut down words.
They've screwed with the meaning of so many of them, they don't even mean what you think they mean.
And when you contemplate the meaning of words deeply, you often come up with almost the complete opposite of what they're selling.
Like when banks say they are, they use the word fidelity and trust banks.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's a corruption of words.
And that's all to fool us because they want to steal our money.
They want to steal everything we got and make us eat bugs.
They say it.
I don't know.
I guess I have a more optimistic view, notwithstanding all the nonsense.
You know, what's your optimistic view?
And then I'll tell you my optimistic view.
I don't have much faith in the competence of our leaders.
I have none.
But like to pull off a scheme like this, I just don't think they're smart enough or well-organized enough.
I think they've just got a far-left ideological agenda that manifests in industry after industry and policy after policy, and that they need to be fought whack-a-mole style as they come up until sane people can regain their positions in power.
But when they get there, they won't find the secret documents of the cabal and the plan and what they were trying to do with us.
They'll just find genuine, hard-left ideology that's been baked into our system generation after generation now, as we sat back and ignored it and thought it would go away.
And we were really wrong.
That's generally my world.
I agree with all of that.
But except for the whack-a-mole part, because there's too many moles.
But I think what's happening instead, I do think intelligence is winning.
And intelligence acts like a magnet to like intelligence.
And so I think that we all are magnetizing to each other and waking each other up higher and higher.
But the whack-a-mole thing, I think they are exposing themselves in front of our eyes.
And our job is to witness it and make sure it registers, not to forget it, but to see who they are, see how their system works against us.
And I think that's hard for us because we've been so trained never to assign the blame upward.
The mind control program was always to make us lay blame laterally or on the middleman, which is anti-Semitism, but never to assign the blame all the way up to the tippy top where the people who actually cause all the problems sit.
And those are, who do you think they are?
They're right in front of you, but they can't be named.
What do you mean?
Because the mind control program is so severe that were I even to say the words, people wouldn't believe it.
They wouldn't have, they just shrug it off.
Now you're losing me.
But when you say, I mean, you're talking about beyond the people who own the world.
You're like the Bill Gates' of the world.
No, he's not.
Well, he's one of their handmaidens.
Tell me what you're trying to say.
Kings and queens.
What kind of crazy shit is that?
That's feudalism.
Hello?
We have kings and queens.
Are you shitting me in 2024?
And we are like, I don't know who's controlling us.
What?
We're that stupid.
We are sheep.
But some of us are waking up and going, you know what?
There isn't like just a few families that should own everything in the world.
There isn't.
That's true.
And they're so stupid.
Like you said, luckily they are stupid because arrogance always accompanies ignorance.
That's what Torah says.
They're always the same, two sides of the same coin and they undo each other.
Let's hope.
And so their arrogance is such that they've actually made with their greed and their whatever they do in their bubbles and their bursting bubbles and making more bubbles and their scams and fraud.
They've actually made money obsolete and it's worthless.
Now that's just great.
That's my optimistic sign of the future because that is the dream of the end of debt slavery.
That's leaving Egypt.
That is the dream of humanity.
Threatening Fat Jokes Away 00:04:57
It's so great.
And it's crumbling and they're being exposed and it will be replaced with a better system that works for human beings, all human beings.
And it'll come from us and our intelligence because we have the will and the means and all the technology to do that without money, but with something else.
Value for value.
All right.
Let's leave it on that optimistic note and shift before we go to something we talked about during the break, which is these days you're splitting your time between Texas and Hawaii.
Yeah, it's a trip, man.
Now, somebody who owns the world lives in Hawaii most of the time.
Do you ever hang out with Oprah?
Oh, no.
She lives on a completely, she lives on the rich people island.
I live on the barefoot island where everybody tries to raise organic crops and fails because we're.
See you'll cross paths with Oprah a lot.
No, I never see her.
I mean, she's not anybody I really know.
I was on her show 10 times.
Were you really?
Yeah.
She's a different sort of person than me.
I like my feet in the mud.
I like seeds and stuff.
I like real stuff.
But I like to think and write, so I don't have a lot of friends.
Really?
Did you before the whole scandal or did they, did you have them and they abandoned you?
Or you've never been somebody who's got I'm not a friendly person.
I'm really not.
I'm very, what do you call it?
Solitude type.
Yep.
Solitary, yeah, solitary.
But uh, when I'm in a friendly mood, like I'm always the life of the party, yes, you were.
I started the show by saying that about last night.
You were, I'm always the life of the party.
I love it when people are staring at me and laughing.
That's the only time I can stand them.
That's my name.
I cannot be afraid of them.
That's my nightmare.
I don't want them laughing at me.
I want them listening to me for sure.
But no, I know, but I mean at my joke.
Yeah, shout out at me like, look at how fat she is.
I don't want any of that.
But I mean, even though you created a whole show around principles like that, where you made fun of yourself and you were very self-deprecating.
Well, I think I happen to think that fat jokes are the funniest jokes in the whole world.
Are they number one?
They're threatening to take our fat jokes away.
And I just, that's the reason I've stepped forward because without fat jokes, we're just nothing but a fascist nation.
Have you seen some of the college-age pro-Palestinian protesters on their hunger strikes and the size of them?
I mean, this thing could go on for a long time.
Well, one of my sponsors is one of these stun gun things for self-defense.
And they sent me this thing, and I was reading it, and it says it can take down a 350-pound man.
But I changed it to a 350-pound lesbian with blue hair because, I mean, they are threatening to beat up women.
They'd love to beat up skinny women.
I don't blame them.
It's not the lesbians, it's the trans people who are threatening to beat up women at every turn.
These guys are all over the internet threatening us if we try to keep them out of our bathrooms.
I know, but their best friend is a 300-found pound, 350-pound lesbian.
Those are their best friends, just like in high school.
The gay guy that wore his mom's dresses was always friends with the big fatty.
I know I was one of them.
I was always best friends with all the gay guys that wore their mom's dresses.
Because gay men love strong women.
They like fat women, I find out because they make us eat everything because they're always skinny and they make us be their feeder and they make us consume everything that they're too afraid to because they are food abhorrent.
But they'll sit and watch us live vicariously.
Yeah.
And I was happy to be that person because I love to eat.
So you're remote in Hawaii, and you just told me you live remotely in Texas.
You're not right in the hub of something.
And that works for you.
Do you ever do you miss people eventually?
Like you have to pop up every once in a while because you miss people?
I'll tell you, I go to town probably every day and I talk to you know the people on the street and they're all very nice to me.
And I go in all the stores and I buy items from all the stores because I try to help my town stay in business.
Everybody's hurting.
And so I just love to do stuff like that and talk politics with people.
And Hawaii is a complete socialist nation.
You may not know that, but I love to talk politics with all these socialists.
And we get along fine.
And we agree on more than we disagree on.
And so I just feel that's an important thing for me to say.
And a lot of us are just trying to grow food and have chickens and such, like basic lives.
Keep those chickens away from Christy Noam.
She'd take that.
But I'll tell you what.
One thing that does happen is these people know how to party.
Where?
Hawaii or Texas?
Hawaii Socialist Politics 00:01:18
Oh, hell yeah.
The working people, they know how to party.
And I'll tell you, I'm the life of them parties too.
I have zero doubt about any of this.
I find it very easy to believe.
You were last night in a room full of hysterical funny people.
They didn't get to the dancing yet.
They didn't have any music.
Next time.
Did you get merch, by the way?
I mean, like Kyle Dunnegan is covered in Mr. Burcham merch.
Nothing.
You didn't go grab the, you didn't get the bag by the door.
See, you don't know how these things work.
No, I don't.
Always look for the plastic bag next to the door on the exit.
Shit.
Next to the door.
My son grab four.
I'll give you one.
Okay, thank you.
Roseanne, it's so great talking to you.
You're fascinating.
You're brilliant.
You're so talented.
It's wonderful to be sitting across from you and sharing a fake stage for you.
Now, listen to our show.
No, I love you, and you're going to hang out with me and learn more about the boom.
Good.
Well, then we'll bring it back to the audience and we'll tell them how you taught me and we'll show before and after.
I think you've got the bones to like do actual stand up on a stage.
I told you.
Wow.
She's amazing.
It's not true, but she's so lovely to offer the compliment.
The one and only Roseanne.
Thanks for listening to the Megan Kelly Show.
No BS, no agenda, and no
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