AVOID These People At ALL COST: Michael REACTS To Black Friday Chaos!
Black Friday chaos is BACK — and it’s worse than ever!
Michael Knowles reacts to the most unhinged Black Friday TikToks, from shopping cart brawls to grown adults fighting over flat screens. From the “doorbuster” stampedes to the people who camped out for deals that weren’t even good, this episode proves one thing: you can’t put a price on dignity (but you can lose it for 40% off).
Watch to the end for the wildest clip yet — and find out which “deal” made Michael lose it.
Which video shocked you most? Comment below!
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So, what is the it's just them getting like run over or something?
Yeah, it's simple Black Friday videos, just normal orderly conduct, peaceful displays of goods being purchased.
Black Friday is upon us.
You know what that means?
It's time for America to indulge in a disgusting bacchanal of decadence and materialism.
Here we have a little bit of insight into some of the most typical displays.
It's the holiday season, and Santa Claus is coming around.
Christmas snow is wide on the ground.
Is this in the Middle East or does it just sound like it?
Just waiting for an explosion This is New York Yeah, okay, so I guess I was right.
That was a glimpse at pre-Mamdani stand.
Proto-Mamdani stand.
Is that a drone flying around?
That's hell.
That's hell, is what that is.
Which is, I guess, what New York's about to become.
Which reminds me of a homily that I once heard from a priest.
He said, Down in hell, there's a big banquet hall and all this great food on it.
Everyone's seated around, but the forks are five feet long.
And so you get the steak or whatever, and you try to eat it, and you can't eat it because your arm is too close to your face.
You can't.
And that's hell for eternity just trying to eat that steak.
In heaven, you know what's so crazy about heaven?
It's the same thing.
You know the difference?
In heaven, they get the steak, they feed it to the person across from them.
That's the difference.
And that right there is hell.
Next one.
What are those boxes up?
I can't tell what the box is.
It looks like a box of seltzer or something.
I don't think there would be.
That's good.
Just smacking a cute little kid right in the head.
That's a good idea.
That's good.
This really could be a big justification for Jeff Bezos.
You know, I know conservatives have had a love hate with Jeff Bezos.
Jeff Bezos, he has saved us from this.
Also kind of depressing because then we just sit and spend all of our money just clicking buttons on our computer locked up in our little pods.
But I guess it's better than beating up little kids to get a box of trash.
Black birthday this year.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
Jack Frost nipping at your nose.
There's no way that one's real.
Other than the guy is damaging his own car for the video, but people do a lot of stupid stuff for videos.
I think that one's fake.
I'm calling shenanigans on that.
Full flag on the field shenanigans.
Next one.
Right now, go to hallow.com/slash Knowles.
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So it's just hell.
Oh, y'all, some towels for real.
Over some towels, y'all.
Over some towels.
You know, the one thing I'll say about that one, people seem to be having fun.
No one's getting injured.
People are laughing.
It's like cheap towels.
That's fine, though.
I'm a sucker for a good deal.
Yeah, it was $1.60 for a towel.
It was a buck 60?
You know what?
You know what?
I would have been right there in the middle of it.
I would have been right there and I would have been violent.
None of those people were violent.
I would have been ripping out people's hair.
Yeah, $1.60, a towel?
Can I?
All right.
Note to self.
Go to the Walmart in.
I don't know.
I don't know where that was.
Next one.
This is depressing.
This is depressing.
Just a bunch.
A bunch of animals grabbing idiot boxes.
I hate that it's over the TVs.
Had this been over towels, I could have gotten into it.
Maybe I shouldn't say.
I've been very anti-TV lately, which is bad because I pay my mortgage by being on TVs, like phones and computers and stuff.
Oh, no.
No, no.
This isn't music.
No, I don't like this, David.
No, that's enough.
No, David, I don't like that.
No.
I hate that.
No, let me waste my life.
No, I'm going to waste my, I'm going to take your life so that I can waste mine.
Because also, something tells me those people are not listening to, you know, really nice, cultured, edifying material, such as the Michael Knowles show.
They're watching slop.
Decadent, violent, lustful slop, if you had to ask me.
Here we go.
Is that a woman in a burka?
Beating each other up at the self-checkout.
Maybe we need regular checkout again to keep the order.
Beating each other up, punching each other in the head.
Punching each other right in the head.
Where is this?
They're wearing like tribal dress.
What is this?
I know it's Walmart.
I knew it wasn't Costco.
Okay, something I'll notice.
Costco and Walmart physically look exactly the same.
I don't want to besmirch the honor of Walmart.
You get a lot of that at Walmart.
You don't get that at Costco.
You know what you get at Costco?
Buck 50 hot dogs and friendly people.
We douse ourselves in pigblood because it does help us slip through the crowd when the doors open.
We do it every year, part of the family tradition.
Last year we lost our youngest daughter.
Her head was stepped on and crushed.
But in her memory, we're going to find a young girl and step on her head this year.
If anyone thinks they're going to beat me inside that mall and keep me from getting my kids Christmas presents, they can kiss my fat vagina because I'm bringing the motherfucking pain.
Compared to all of the videos, that one was moderate.
That was middle of the pack in terms of its violence.
Spot on.
Okay, happy Black Friday, everyone.
That's why, if you go to dailywire.com slash shop, get those nice Michael Knoll sweaters and candles, or you do it from your own home.
