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April 8, 2023 - The Michael Knowles Show
01:01:46
YES or NO with Brett Cooper | Real Answers and Real Drinks
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Time Text
I admit, I do sympathize a little with Dylan Mulvaney because I too was once an impressionable theater kid and who knows what could have happened to me if I was cast in Rent on Broadway in my wayward youth.
I sympathize with Dylan Mulvaney because I was a theater kid.
Let's answer and I'll count.
One, two, three.
This is the game that you have all been waiting for, that I have all been waiting for.
A game featuring one of my absolute favorite people in the entire Daily Wire universe.
That would be my friend, Brett Cooper.
Before we get into it though, have you ever wondered what it's like to trade places with me?
You probably are now.
I'm sure you would love to sit opposite Brett Cooper.
Well, you can.
You can't hang out with Brett.
But you can get, yes or no, the game.
That's right.
DailyWire.com slash shop.
We ordered some of these games maybe six months ago.
We kind of just missed Christmas.
And sold out immediately.
They're selling like lightning.
Pre-order yours now or you will miss out again.
DailyWire.com slash shop.
The very greatest party game on planet Earth.
And I feel this is the very greatest episode we've ever done because Brett, you're here.
I'm so excited.
We've been trying to do this.
We obviously could not play this game before you were 21.
Exactly.
So now you're going to have to drink for the two of us because, you know, as a mackerel-snapping papist, one gives up something for Lent.
I've never done it before in my whole life, but this year I'm giving up booze.
So I'll be drinking what looks like a Cosmo.
It is, in fact, a strawberry-flavored seltzer something or other.
I was going to say, is this like pink lemonade?
Yeah, it's a strawberry lemonade, and you are drinking a room temperature gin, is that right?
No, no, I'm drinking a tequila soda lime, which is my drink of choice.
Although, has this been mixed yet?
Can I do this?
Well, I think you just did.
I think I did.
Wait, can I be really gross?
Are you just digging it out?
There you are.
There we go.
You know what, it just can't be... That's the stuff.
Ladies first.
Okay.
Let's begin.
There's alcohol in my hands now.
All right.
On average, a sober female driver is more dangerous than a drunk male driver. - Sure.
So you figure out what I'm going to say and I'll figure it out.
A sober guy is more dangerous than a... One, two, three.
I'm afraid you got that wrong, Brett.
Obviously.
This is not just my opinion, by the way.
Sweet little Elisa now, if we're calling an Uber or something, and a female driver pops up, she will be inclined to cancel because they missed the exit, they're chatting.
I mean, it's very, like, the stereotype about female drivers.
I get it, but also you have to bring up insurance.
Like, why is insurance higher for, like, teen boys versus teen girls?
Yeah, well... But I guess maybe as they age... They mellow out.
Do we just drink whenever, basically?
That's how I'd choose.
Okay.
That's true.
It's also because our society is very anti-patriarchal.
Yep.
You know, punishes the boys.
But yes, while it is true that maybe 21-year-old men are a little more rambunctious than us, in the long run... When you hit 40, as a lady, I just guess, yeah.
The thing about stereotypes, I've figured out, Brett, they're all completely true.
That makes sense.
Alright, shall we?
Now I go.
If women can wear makeup in their dating profiles, men should be able to lie about their height and income.
- Okay, if women can wear makeup, men should be able to lie about their height and income.
Wrong again.
What?
No, men should never lie.
I know that you don't wear makeup, you sort of wake up naturally, but some women do wear makeup and it's not a lie to wear makeup.
It accentuates the underlying beauty.
I think that some women take it so far.
Maybe I was answering in the context of, like, how I see makeup, where it's, I don't wear a lot unless I'm on camera.
But even that is like, I look the same, guys.
But there are some people, like, they look totally different.
You can completely, like, the way that people contour their face, like, you look like a totally different person.
With that, I'm like, okay, that's, like, disingenuous.
I always find women who wear a lot of makeup, I find it doesn't make them look better.
Even if they're a kind of plain Jane looking, yeah.
Because I like, I don't know, I am attracted to reality.
I like reality more than fantasy.
And so if I see a nice girl who is, you know, just confident and naturally beautiful in whatever way she is, I'm going to find that much more attractive than some person who's, you know, had plastic surgery to look like a Kardashian or something.
But it's interesting how many women go to such lengths to completely, like, change everything about themselves.
Yeah.
Whether it be, like, with the plastic surgery.
I mean, that new thing, have you seen, like, the buckle fat surgery?
What's the buckle fat?
They're sucking fat out of your cheeks to make you...
Oh, that thing.
look like that.
Yes, so I have like a perpetual like a duck face.
Like going to those kinds of like ridiculous lengths and then all the caked on makeup.
Yeah.
And the lip thing.
And then you wonder why men, oh yeah, really, really big.
And the fake eyelashes that kind of look like caterpillars.
All of that.
Where it's like you're going to such lengths and then you wonder why guys like, say like, oh, like no girl looks like Like, this is so crazy.
Like, I just want her to be natural.
But then women have gone so far.
It's very weird.
But you got it right.
I did get it right.
I don't think that men should lie.
But I also think women need to stop editing their photos.
They need to stop caking on makeup.
It's better for your skin, too.
Yeah.
The other thing, I mean, maybe you'll say, yes, it does matter.
But you're very successful in your own right.
Would it really matter if a guy puffed up his salary on a dating profile?
Maybe it would.
I don't know.
People are attracted to success.
I think it comes down to integrity.
But also, you know, on dating profiles they don't really talk about their salary.
If it was height, if you're just kind of like, I'm a half an inch taller, that's fine.
I don't really care.
I'm five foot ten and three quarters, but I say six feet.
Just round up.
Just round up.
That's fine.
I round up to 6'4".
Well, that's impressive.
Good for you, yeah.
But if it's like, you're 5'7", and you're saying you're 6'4", it's like, okay, now you're just catfishing.
But it's so difficult because on many dating profiles it's so general, so it's like a lot of these statements you can't really tell until you actually talk to the person, but so many people on dating apps, they don't actually go on dates.
That's the thing, they'll talk for months, because it's a game.
What?
Yes!
Oh no, people don't go on dates from dating apps.
Very few of them do.
You sit around because it's a game.
You swipe, you get the instant gratification.
You might talk to a guy for a while.
Someone likes me, someone thinks I'm cute.
Yes, exactly.
You talk and then you'll never meet up.
And I have friends that are, you know, will try to, you know, oh, I want to go out with this guy or whatever, and they'll try to make it happen with like, in three to four days.
Because obviously you don't want to go out with somebody, maybe he's a serial killer.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's, I don't remember what the stats are, but it's like, it'll be weeks or months before they even get around to going out.
I just missed dating apps.
I just missed it.
Sweet Little Elise and I got back together right as they were coming out.
So I missed it.
I never was on one.
I have friends who have done them all the time.
To get me to text my wife back, to get me to text my employers, to get me to text my dear friends, it takes days and days and days.
And I think people now, for recreation, will go on to just text strangers for months.
With no point other than maybe… It's not intentional whatsoever.
Wow.
So because of that, I think a lot of people were very lax with what they put on there.
Because those conversations very rarely have any kind of substance.
So it's like, oh, you… And often, like I was on a podcast recently and the guy asked me to like look at his profile, like, oh, would you rate it or something like that.
And I've had my guy friends do very similar things, and my girlfriends, too.
And it's all very, very general.
And when I look at them, I'm like, why would you not put everything out there, basically, and talk about your non-negotiables?
Say what you're actually looking for.
I saw this girl on TikTok who did this whole video, basically raging, doing an angry feminist rant about this guy.
And she posted their conversation, and he wrote back, and he was like, oh, you're so beautiful.
And she said, oh my god, thank you.
And he said, could I ask you what you're looking for?
And her response was, I don't really know.
I'm just kind of figuring things out.
And so he writes back and says, OK, I want to be upfront.
I travel a lot for work.
I'm really not sure if I want something serious right now.
I'm really just looking for, like, friends with benefits.
Maybe if it, like, moves in.
But he's being honest.
He's being upfront.
He's on the app.
He's like, hi, I'm a dirtbag.
I just want to please my body.
Exactly!
And like, I don't really care.
I want to use you as an instrument for my own bodily satisfaction.
Yes, exactly.
But he asked.
She said, I don't really care.
And so he responded honestly.
And then she flips out at him and goes, how dare you think that I would do this?
Like, I'm looking for something serious.
I would never, like, go down to that level.
I asked you!
Yeah!
Then be honest.
You can't play both sides of it.
You can't play games and then expect men not to be playing games.
It's a constant double standard.
And so I like that though, the conclusion being, women might not know what they want, but they definitely know what they don't want.
Yeah, that's very true.
That is very true with women.
But anyway, the apps are so gamey, and if you actually want to use them properly, Dennis Prager has talked about this a lot, and he's talked to me about it when I was still living in L.A., and he's actually a big advocate for dating apps.
If you live... Dennis is a player, you know.
Dennis just wants everybody to get married.
He's a cool guy, with the stogie, and yeah, right.
Well, I remember when I was at PragerU, he was, like, constantly trying to matchmake people.
If you were, like, a 20-year-old or whatever, he was like, why aren't we married yet?
Like, let me find you somebody.
Like, let me go to, you know, let me find somebody in my community.
But we were talking about dating apps, and I was kind of like, ugh, you know, they're so stupid.
He was like, no.
Especially if you are in a liberal area.
He said, this is the best way to weed everybody out.
But the caveat is that you have to be intentional.
You have to actually put your religion.
You can't be like, oh, I'm a moderate, if you're actually conservative.
No, just say it.
Because then the people who are going to be angry at you and are going to hate you, you're not wasting your time.
You're not wasting their time.
The only people that are going to actively be interested are like, oh, this is great.
You're being out there.
Get on the dating app.
Yes, yes.
Swipe right.
I'm Dennis Prager.
OK.
Anyway, so we're moving on.
Here we go.
OK.
Technically, I know more about pop culture than you.
So I'm answering as me, and you're answering as you.
Wait, no, no.
I'm answering for you, right?
Yeah.
I'm answering for you.
You're answering as if to say, I, Michael Knowles, know more about pop culture than you, Brett Cooper.
Oh, okay.
I think.
And you're moving that way.
Oh, wait.
Oh!
Now we're getting it right.
You're saying, I... I, Michael Knowles... And I'm answering, I, Brett Cooper.
Take you, Michael Knowles, to be my lawfully wedded wife.
Here we are.
True.
True.
It's true.
Obviously.
The most modern musician I listen to is Van Morrison.
No, you listen to Miley Cyrus.
And Miley, that's true.
I really dug that Miley song.
Have you listened to the rest of her album?
No.
I thought it was a single.
I didn't know it was a whole album.
Well, it was a single and they put out some other songs.
Is it?
The first three songs, great.
The rest of them, I was like, she started randomly talking in the middle of the song, so I was like, I'm not here to listen to you talk with your, like, smoker voice.
No, I like it.
I mean, it's a sultry voice, but I've always been pro-Miley.
Since Party in the USA, I really liked that.
And this whole thing about, you know, you could have had flowers, and I don't need you to hold my hand or whatever.
I like it.
It's a good, it's a jazzy kind of 70s funky thing.
It's fun, yeah.
And it shows how misery-inducing modern romantic culture is.
Exactly.
And I don't think that what I liked about it was that it was not like man-shaming.
It was just saying, hey, I can, you know, she's talking about the things that a woman would want and saying, you know, if you're not going to give those to me, I'll find them somewhere else.
It's not about, like, I hate you.
It's more about her, which I appreciate because most things in modern feminist culture are always, like, target the men.
But I found it ironic, too, because she's saying, like, I can buy myself flowers, I can do... But it's like, no.
Like, you can, but... But it's not the same thing.
It's not the same, obviously, and you're presenting that.
Okay, I'm up.
Oh, man.
Oh, no.
Helen Keller was faking it.
Oh, my God.
Okay, no, I've got an answer to this.
Okay, one... My team and I debate this all the time.
One, two, three.
No.
Really?
No, she wasn't faking it.
Yeah.
The people around her certainly were faking it.
Because I think that she's real.
You think that she's a deaf, dumb, blind woman who flew an airplane?
That's what you're saying?
Did she fly an airplane?
They said she flew an airplane.
Okay, I don't believe that.
Yeah, and like she, also didn't she, she had this special friend who Helen Keller would communicate with a friend by hand massages or something and then the friend would just magically interpret this and Helen Keller wrote all these books and flew an airplane or whatever.
But then when the friend died or went away or something, then Helen Keller chose not to write any more books or fly any more airplanes.
I don't know.
I didn't know about the flying the airplane, but I do think that somebody obviously can exist who is blind and deaf and that kind of thing.
But I loved The Miracle Worker, that play.
- Yeah, I've only seen jokes about that.
Like I've only seen The South Park about The Miracle Worker. - The Miracle Worker is so good.
The play is fantastic.
- Yeah. - And her books are great.
I do believe that she is real.
I don't know the extent of the stories that they've told about her.
Yeah, I mean, she's a woman.
Yeah, I do believe that she could learn that stuff, though, because I know that there is sign language that you can do.
It's a different kind of sign language, but it's just done in the palm.
Yeah.
But maybe, I don't know, maybe it was just like that person was her crutch, but maybe they, you know, overblew it, obviously, because now she was making a bunch of money.
Yeah, I'm not definitively saying it was all fake news.
We should have questions.
I think it's fair to, like, we live in a world right now where they told us that an experimental drug would stop us from getting a cough.
That's true.
That was the worst plague in human history.
And, you know, and that turned out to be a little, what am I allowed to say, like a little dubious.
So, I don't know, just a little, I just have questions for Obviously.
The Kellerites.
Yes.
If it's not true, at least it makes a good story.
See, that, I think that sums up my feelings.
I still appreciate the play.
Guys, I've never had to call in sick to work the day after my 21st birthday.
Yeah, huh?
We just talked about this.
Okay, so I'm answering... So it's about me.
Or wait, so I'm answering... It's a question about me?
No, it's about... About anybody?
Not everything is about you, Brett.
Just most things.
Oh, thank you.
No, so you're answering as me.
I'm Michael Knowles and I'm ready to call in to work sick the day after my 21st birthday.
You're a bit of a crazy guy.
I was, but I was also irresponsible and didn't have a job when I was 20.
And you, my dear... Should I tell the story?
I think so.
Well, guys, my birthday is obviously October 12th.
I started working here when I was 20.
I just turned 20, actually, when I got my offer.
Um, and so I spent the whole year here not drinking and having apple juice and the champagne flutes whenever Daily Wire would do special events.
You were trying to get me to come on, yes and no.
But no, so my 21st birthday, I had like four different things planned.
I even had a cabin trip.
Cry tears of joy?
No.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Distress constantly.
We're gonna go up to Asheville, and it was gonna be a great time, and I have never had the best luck with birthdays.
Something always happens.
I don't know what it is, but I'm like the quintessential, and maybe this is the Zoomer in me.
I always cry on my birthday.
- Do you? - I never have a good time.
- Cry tears of joy?
No, not quite.
- Oh no, no, no, no.
Just stress constantly, yes.
One time, I think this is my 17th birthday, I had two midterms on my birthday, So I took one.
It was my Spanish midterm.
It was the worst midterm I ever took.
Went in my car, sobbed.
Yes.
And then my mom was dealing with, like, a health thing with my brother.
And so I sat at home in Burbank on my porch and ate Domino's pizza and cried again.
It was great.
Half of that sounds nice.
Yeah, it was solace.
It was good.
But anyway, so I just, you know, I was really hopeful about this.
I was like, I'm living in a new city.
I have a great job.
I have great friends here.
And I get sick.
I get the flu.
You got the flu.
I got the flu.
I actually did.
So we, I had a concert that I was supposed to go to that night.
It was the Wildlife and Floor, two of my favorite bands.
Oh yeah, I'm a huge, I liked them before they got popular.
I'm sure you did.
Before they sold out and went mainstream.
Oh, they're not even mainstream now.
Yeah, no, well, I'm saying, you know, even back when they were... Nothing.
They were children and they were in there.
Yeah, you were a big fan.
No, and so I like left that concert in the middle because my throat was hurting so bad.
I didn't have a single drink on my 21st birthday.
Like literally not a single one.
I went to dinner in East.
Did not get a single drink.
Went to this concert.
I drank, I chugged water.
And then the next day I actually saw Scottie at that concert.
She can attest to that.
Whatever she is.
I got an alibi.
Listen, you're a clever gal, Grant.
I am.
And then I cancelled the cabin trip because I was so sick.
And then I got Madison sick as well.
The only reason that I'm inclined to possibly believe this story is people always say, well, your 21st birthday, did you go crazy?
At least for me.
It wasn't my first rodeo when I turned 21.
And so at a certain point, you're like, well, I've kind of been doing this for a while.
I don't actually have to go out.
It lost the charm.
Yeah.
I've said it before, and I've said it publicly.
I had more fun before I turned 21.
Yeah.
And then it hit, and I literally did not drink for the two months after my 21st birthday.
Because I was like, why am I losing my real ID?
Nobody wants to do that.
What's the point?
I know.
Anyway.
OK.
For men, wearing loafers without socks is a lot like wearing Beats by Dre headphones as a woman.
Both are things you experiment with in college and are sort of a rite of passage for basic white people.
However, unlike the loafers, you can easily clean headphones so they are better.
You guys did your research.
Wow.
So the punchline here is Beats by Dre are better than Sockless Loafers.
And that they're both basic and not cool.
Yeah, that's all part of the premise.
I mean, I think basic white people stuff can be perfectly fine.
I like L.L.
Bean, you know?
Yeah, so I would... Beats by Dre is better than... Like pastel polo shirts.
Okay, so the Beats by Dre are better than Sockless Loafers.
Yeah, no way.
Okay, you wanna... No, sockless loafers.
I hate sockless loafers.
Really?
What?
I hate it!
I just did a live stream.
Were you guys watching my All Access?
They must have known.
I talked about it yesterday.
No, sockless... And listen, I know that you wear sockless loafers.
Yeah, of course.
I can't do it.
I dolled myself up for you.
Did you wear?
Black oxfords, you know?
See, that's the best.
But here, my thing is, with the loafers that you wear, I think it's more acceptable when men wear these loafers with the tie, like the ones that... The tassel loafers?
Yeah, well, no, no, no, no, with the laces, with the laces.
Like Oxford shoes.
Yes, okay, whatever you call those.
A loafer is sort of defined by its lack of... The slide, okay.
It's more so, I still think that's not great if it's not springtime and you're not at a beach wedding.
It's like, put on the socks.
But if it's in Oxford, why do men wear those without socks?
Do they?
Yes!
That's insane.
They do.
Well that's insane.
And it's weird.
And it's uncomfortable.
Yeah, I'm sure.
And I'm like, I don't want to see your ankles.
Cover them up.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm like a principal telling people, like, cover up, like, telling girls, cover up your shoulders, telling men, like, cover up your... You're telling waspy men, hey, put those ankles up.
Literally.
Get yourself down to the country club.
Put on some damn socks!
Put on some socks, yeah, okay.
And I think the other part of this punchline is that my headphones that I wear on the show are Beats.
Well, that I knew, yeah.
But that's, you know, it's fine for an age, but the thing is, a waspy man and a wasp-identifying man of any race, culture, or background Can wear sockless loafers, or let's include maybe top-siders, truly, from six months old until his dying day.
That's true.
It's timeless.
It's timeless.
You know, I rocked the top-siders.
I love Sperry top-siders.
Not anymore, but I mean, like, my family's big in sailing, so I had a lot of boat shoes.
I could see that.
You exude a kind of sailing vibe.
My whole family does.
It's the one thing we all do.
Wow.
Competitively, yeah.
Competitively?
Mm-hmm.
Because I like the idea of the William F. Buckley Jr.
version of sailing.
The big boats?
Yeah, you go out, you kind of wear a silly sweater.
Yeah.
I think he would occasionally puff a little Haitian oregano.
Oh, no.
We're in, like, full-body, like, all-weather suits.
Wow.
Like, hanging out the side of boats.
My brothers and I did that, and then my dad also competed, and then my mom, she was more of the, like, relaxing.
Her first husband would, like, cruise around, and she would be there with, like, drinks and food.
You're like the conservative answer to Greta Thunberg.
Hey, there you go.
You know, there's Saint Greta there in that boat in the middle of the ocean.
Yeah.
I assume helicopters dropping caviar.
Yep.
And then there's you.
Having a great time, not crying about it.
Decriminalizing prostitution would be more problematic for society than decriminalizing Schedule 1 drugs such as weed, LSD, and mushrooms.
No, wait.
Would be more problematic.
So it's worse to decriminalize prostitution.
Oh.
I don't believe you.
I'm so torn.
Let's just see what happens.
I don't know whether you're more anti-drug or more anti-prostitution.
I'm not advocating either.
In an impossible situation?
But if I had to choose one to decriminalize, hookers or hard drugs, I would choose the hookers.
Because, one, it's much more traditional, world's oldest profession.
And two, both St.
Augustine and St.
Thomas Aquinas make arguments, not for the legalization of prostitution, but arguments against further outlawing prostitution.
St.
Augustine says, and then St.
Thomas Aquinas reiterates this, that If there is not this outlet that is tolerated or if it's further clamped down on, society would be so convulsed by lust that you would have far worse outcomes for people.
Interesting.
More sexual violence, that sort of thing.
Now, the calculation's changed a little bit today because there's porn everywhere.
But if I had to tolerate one of those evils, whereas when it comes to LSD and all these hippie drugs that turns every person from a normal person to a huge lib, I've never seen it go the other direction.
I have.
One of my really good friends.
Really?
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
I'm very sure.
For his like 23rd birthday, his like request for me was just to like Because I was like, what do you want to do?
And he was like, actually, I just want to hang out and trip.
And I said, well, I'm not going to do that.
But if you want me to hang around and bring you food or whatever.
But his big shroom trip was him realizing that the elites are all out to get us.
And he was like, you're all right.
The government, it's awful and they're conspiring against us.
And I was like, OK.
Because that's usually been the case.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
I had a friend, this is the only non-disastrous Psychedelic story ever.
A buddy of mine took mushrooms and was in Washington, D.C.
and he looked down, he was on the marble monuments, and he looked down and he said, oh, what are those ants doing crawling around on the marble?
But it wasn't really ants.
It was the black and white of the marble.
So it was the black of the marble and he was experiencing this as an animate reality, but then said, no, no, no, this is just the pigment of the stone, which is inanimate.
But then, because he was super high, he realized, no, it actually just was ants.
And then he sobered up and we went on with our day.
But the takeaway from that is that he could experience metaphor.
He was experiencing a blurring of the literal and the figurative, which I think is very important because I don't believe in anything as being merely literal.
I think this is a semiotic world and everything has meaning.
So that was one thing.
But he didn't really get that into the psychedelic stuff.
My other friends who have gotten into it, they always come to the same conclusion.
They say, Man, I was so stressed.
And then I ate a bunch of mushrooms and took a bunch of bathtub acid.
And then I realized, man, it was cool.
It gave me peace.
Because I realized, man, I don't need to worry about sin and guilt and stuff.
Some of them will even say, I saw these little beings.
It was like aliens almost.
And it kind of showed me, man, there's another dimension.
I don't need to worry about sin and guilt.
Which is not a positive outcome.
Yeah, it's like, hey, bro, do you know who would try to convince you not to worry about sin?
Demons.
Those little weird alien things you saw?
Yeah.
Do you want to hear about my brother's experience?
Yeah.
Okay, so my brother did a ton of drugs.
He's like the primary reason that I became very, very anti-drug and started with weed and then has basically done everything under the sun.
Right.
But he is now, has drug-induced schizophrenia.
Like very, very, very serious.
But the things that he sees in his trips, they are all like devilish, like demons, like literal demons on his shoulder.
That tell him that he caused the destruction of our family, all of this stuff.
It is truly, you are going to hell, and that kind of stuff.
And it's like, how is this?
And then he kept doing it, like, oh, maybe it'll be better.
Let me try something else.
Let me try another hallucinogenic.
And I'm like, it's obviously not.
But no, my one friend is the only time that I've seen it positive.
And I have a very good, my best friend, actually, has experimented with a lot of it, who publicly will say, I think everybody should trip once in their life.
No, I'm good, man.
I love you, but no.
Am I up?
Yes.
Right?
I don't know.
I have better hair.
I have better hair.
So, you're answering as me, I'm answering as you.
I think you know what's good for you.
Give it a little, like, turn.
- Oh yeah, let me give you a full.
I will say, your hair is, yep. - I guess we'll let the audience decide.
- Do you use Jeremy's razor's hair products?
I actually do.
I do too!
I do!
They're very high quality hair products.
They are.
And they're like quite clean, too.
Yes, no, they're super, no seed oils, all made of beef tallow.
I don't really know much about this.
No, but they don't have any parfum in them or anything like that.
I hate parfum in them.
I love cardamom, but I hate profiteroles.
I don't use the beef tallow deodorant, but you do, but I use a salt crystal as a deodorant.
That's even crunchier.
I know it is, but I do use the beef tallow moisturizer, but I did- Which you gave me?
Yes.
Michaela Peterson, though, she is like very, obviously she has her autoimmune stuff, so she's like allergic to a lot of things, but she had a recent breakout due to her shampoo, so she uses a beef tallow shampoo.
So what you were saying was- Can you actually- You actually can!
You can buy it on Etsy.
It's like a bar of beef tallow, yeah.
This is the thing, I never got into fad diets or anything.
Alisa convinced me.
Seed oils made by the same demons that you see on mushrooms, and beef tallow cures everything.
Beef tallow, the answer to all of the physical ailments.
Well, it's because it's going back to something that's natural.
It's like we have all of these, you know, remedies.
It's like when you go onto skincare websites, and there's like 55 different products that all do different things, they all have different chemicals, but they're kind of like Weird concoctions of the same thing, and you buy all of them thinking they're all going to be a fix, but you're really just putting more chemicals on your face.
It's like, why do we need all that when there are very simple solutions?
Like, why is it that men, that my brother, can wash his face with a bar of Dove soap and have clearer skin than me?
Right, right.
And I've, like, used every... I had, like, a dermatologist from the time that I was, you know, eight years old, because child actors obviously can't show a single pimple.
Can't have a pimple.
Can't have a single whatever.
And I've had, like, worse skin than him, and all he does is just, like, splash water.
The Dove soap, or now, even forgetting that, I'm just gonna start walking up in a field.
There are a lot of cows around Nashville.
Just gonna slice off some fat.
Just get it.
Rub it on my face.
Throw it back to the cow.
I got Brandon Tatum's wife on it, too.
Did you?
Trying to get some for Candace, yeah.
Yeah, I'm really into it.
The answer to all of life's ills is be fat.
Yeah, okay.
True.
Oh, it's my turn.
Oh, it's your turn.
Gimme, gimme.
Alright.
As a rule, women are more shallow than men.
More shallow.
- Ah, it depends on the industry. - More shallow. - No.
No, I don't think so.
Really?
They're differently shallow.
Maybe that's a better way to put it.
But women are deeper than men in certain respects.
Women are more realistic.
They're more emotional.
I think they have more emotional depth.
Yeah, there was certainly more sensitivity.
Yeah.
But I think they're also more grounded.
People think of men, you know, as being the grounded ones and women are taking flights of fancy.
That's not true.
Men are Lord Byron going off to fight a revolution in the middle of Greece or something.
Men are the poets, right?
Men are the ones who write love sonnets and, you know, have a boombox.
Don Quixote.
Don Quixote, yes.
And women are just like, Matt Mack, are you sure?
I really, I think you kind of, I don't know about that, Mack.
You know?
And so women are much Yeah.
deeper and more grounded in that way.
But I think men tend to probe more deeply into abstraction. - Yeah, I feel like these days, I see more commonly men calling out women's shallow behavior.
And maybe it's because women have become more shallow.
And we can go back to the whole, like, dating thing of, you know, only caring about, you know, fashion and their hair and their makeup and that kind of thing.
And I think that might be because we've deviated from these traditional values and traditional roles where women had really important, you know, roles in the home and they took those very seriously.
and now it's kind of like, I mean, you look at what you were talking about on whatever podcast I was watching, Isabel Brown's episode last night, where they're so flippantly just being like, oh, actually no, it wasn't Isabel Brown's, it was another clip that I saw from whatever.
But this guy was like, if I wanna marry a woman, I'm gonna make her my wife, and this girl was flipping out, but he was saying I'm gonna make you my wife or whatever.
She was like, no, your girlfriend's like, she's just going to want to go to the club and like have nice dresses.
And he was like, no, I'm not gonna marry somebody like that.
Of course not.
But that kind of, you know, image of women these days and kind of that stereotype that comes with it, I would think that they've become more shallow.
But when you go back to those more traditional roles where you have a very, very serious job in the home and you have like a very, like women took themselves very seriously in what they were like designed to do.
Yeah.
That seems less shallow.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't run my home at all.
I don't know what my bills are.
I don't know that I've ever paid any of my bills in the home.
And so that's a real grounding.
But you're right.
If a woman follows feminism, then that will make her more shallow.
Because feminism says that the only way for a woman to have any value is to pretend to be a man.
And I got news For those ladies?
They ain't never going to be as good a man as I am.
Nope.
They're not.
I'm not saying I'm the greatest man in the world.
He's trying though.
He's trying.
He's going the other way.
He's going around the best kind of way.
The most prominent woman in America.
He's a huge dude.
I would say though, I think about different industries and being in the acting world, and I don't know how it was in your time at Yale and that sort of thing, but men in Hollywood It's like they're so shallow.
It's like, why do you care more about your skin care than I do?
Why do you care more about your hair?
Oh, I can't do this.
It's going to whatever.
I'm like, oh my god.
Did you ever work in New York as an actress?
When I was very young.
I mean, like eight to ten years old.
Yeah.
Because this was always considered one of the big differences in New York and LA.
The men were very serious.
Or the people were just serious in general.
Yeah, right.
Everybody in New York tends to be more serious, especially in the theater in New York.
You're in an actor's craft there, where it's, you know, you're following a story beginning to end every night.
Whereas, I remember when I got out to L.A., one of the acting teachers in New York, kind of legendary guy, he was 92, he trained everybody, and he said, don't go to L.A.
L.A.
is lies, it's shallow lies.
And then you get there, and everyone is super hot.
Yeah.
There is a lot more work, because there's all this film stuff.
But it's all fake, too.
But it's all fake.
It's less about, like, I remember I would do, I had a bunch of different acting teachers in L.A.
And I had, like, the film act teachers.
It's not, like, serious.
It's, like, you're on... They don't call it film.
It's, like, you're on camera acting.
It's, like, don't blink.
Yes, exactly.
And then I had my, like, more theater-oriented.
It was so different because with the on-camera ones, it was, like, all right, so when you go into your audition, you want to basically trick them into thinking that you're the role.
So dress this way, you know, go in as the character.
And with, like, the New York teachers that I had that were more, like, theater-based, it was, like, all right, obviously you are still Michael Knowles.
I'm still Brett Cooper.
You're in the given circumstances, which is what acting should be.
But it was like, you don't care, like, you could show up in sweatpants and absolutely crush it, and they'd be like, oh, that's so amazing.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
But truly, I mean, I think that, I guess, yeah, that's an important distinction.
The L.A.
actor guys.
Yeah.
But I mean, the women are just as shallow, but I think.
That's true.
Differently so.
The chat GPT, Danger, and Doomsday Hype is more clever marketing than any real risk of it being evil or detrimentally sentient.
Evil or detrimentally sentient.
Okay.
It's made up.
Yeah, it's made up.
It's not that dangerous.
One, two, three.
That's super dangerous.
Yeah, I hate it.
I hate AI.
I know we were talking about demons earlier, and I'm not saying it's always demons.
I'm not like the guy on the History Channel who said it's demons.
But there is weird demon stuff with ChatGBT.
What is a demon or an angel?
It's pure intellect.
Disembodied intellect.
And what is ChatGBT a simulacrum of?
A disembodied intellect.
Did you read about the AI demon?
No.
Loeb?
No.
Long story short, this AI engineer artist person found a demon.
But I look at it and people think, oh, it's this very, very cool, almost non-biased technology.
No, it's not non-biased.
There's obviously a programmer back there creating all of this stuff, and I do think it has the potential maybe to take on a mind of its own in some way, but it has to start from somewhere.
Oh yeah.
And I did a whole episode where I was asking different prompts, and if you ask it to, you know, write a speech in the voice of Kamala Harris, it will.
If you say, you know, would you do something in the voice of Brett Cooper or Ben Shapiro, it's like, no, those are like, we don't do hateful whatever.
I did, I said, can you tell me about, or write about the dangers of minor attracted persons or something like that?
And they said, no, these are protected class.
And they said, like, this is something we're trying, it gave it, like, a disclaimer.
It said, we will not respond because we don't understand minor attracted persons, and psychologists think that this is, you know, we need to understand them and respect them, and obviously it's different than pedophilia.
And it's like, no, it still has a bias.
It's also, it is pedophilia.
It's synonymous.
It's still, it's a different name.
And I think that it is objectively cool that we have been able, that technology has gone this far, and I am, you know, it's like, great job for the people who did it.
It's like, cool, look how high that Tower of Babel got.
Wow, good job, wow, amazing.
Like, let's stop.
There's like a point, anyway, and I think that it's really, really, have you seen the videos that they've done of us, where they like use AI to change the things that we've said?
Oh, yeah.
And some of them are really funny, but it's like, Ben, Trump, Joe Rogan, and Peterson playing Minecraft together, and that kind of thing.
But then it's, you know, people are so dumb.
And they get duped by headlines every single day now.
And imagine, you know, we're going into this, you know, election cycle, and you can't tell what is AI or not.
There are so many idiots in the world.
And I say that with, like, the kindness of my heart.
I mean, maybe idiots is not the right word, but people who To give them the benefit of the doubt, don't have a lot of time, they're not interested, they're just kind of watching news and passing because they don't care, they're not interested, who would see these videos and think, oh my god, I can't believe.
No, I kind of like that.
The deepfake thing I kind of like because it means that all these gotcha scandals are just over.
That's true.
Because you think, okay, I can't trust any of these videos, all these distractions, these chat logs.
Then maybe that would be a positive thing.
Yeah, it could be.
Of literally not trusting anything.
Yeah, because then I'll do my own.
I love, though, you put into a chat, GBT, you say, what are five things white people can improve on?
This, that, this, that.
Say, what are five things black people can improve on?
It's like, how dare you!
And they give you, it's not even like they don't answer or they can't give you an answer.
They give you a disclaimer, like you're a terrible person for asking that.
This is hateful.
Exactly.
Okay, you're up.
Okay.
Let's be honest, and Michael's nun loophole aside, if somebody is not married by the age of 30, it's them.
Oh, so it's saying forget about religious life, you could be a consecrated single or religious, but put that aside for a second.
If you're the kind of person who would marry and you don't get married by 30, it's on you.
I think there can be some nuance.
I think in many, many cases.
Like I think about my oldest brother.
I talk about with my brothers now.
He's not married.
He's 34.
But he's choosing not to be.
Pisses me off.
He's choosing not to be because he wants to be a celibate?
Or he's choosing not to be because he doesn't want to be a celibate?
Just because he, you know, I don't know.
He's not getting married.
He's not getting married.
But, you know, I also look at friends who are desperately trying, who are very, very intentional with it, and I, you know, a couple of good friends that are, like, mid-twenties and are very, very worried about that, who are, like, very deeply, and they're, like, are trying, and I do think that, you know, it kind of, some of it will come down to, you know, how much are you putting yourself out there, and you say that you are, but you're not being, you know, genuine with it, or you're altering yourself to try to fit into somebody else's idea, but I still, I think it can be a lot of things, but I also know that, like, the dating landscape these days is disgusting, Yeah, it's disgusting.
Because the standards and norms were destroyed by the libs in the 60s and 70s, no one knows what to expect.
People now say, we're talking, we're at different talking stages, right?
You're talking, you don't even know what, you can't even call it dating.
There was a new article, oh gosh, who published it, but it was talking about Gen Z's love of situationships and how it's okay and how Gen Z should kind of like settle in this situationship phase and the talking phase and how that's really positive.
Frozen adolescence.
Yes!
So I do think that a lot of it is because of people's choices that they're making, but also how much of that is directly from them and how much of that is from like these social, you know, societal changes that we've had that makes it impossible.
If you're a woman, you were raised in a liberal environment, you were taught a bunch of nonsense.
And then you were told, don't have serious relationships, don't ever choose love and marriage over your career, you've got to go get some advanced degree to go work in the widget factory or study, you know, some super specific nonsense to not get a job teaching at a university.
And then you end up and you look up, you finally got all your degrees, you got all your spreadsheets are done, and you're 30, and you think, oh, I was lied to.
Yeah.
Oh, you know, is it the person's fault?
Yeah, at a certain point, you've got to- You have to have personal responsibility.
Right.
The whole culture, everything in the culture.
Your parents, your school, your popular entertainment, the scientists, everything has been lying to you.
And so it takes a real person to be raised in that environment and then to say, no, I'm not going to.
So I think it is a balanced scale.
But in many cases, I do think that people cause their own problems.
Yeah, it's true.
When people say, I've got a thousand failed relationships.
That's huge.
If you haven't really dated and you've been, like, very particular or you've been focused on something else, I'm like, okay, that's probably something else.
But if you're just... Yeah.
It is more likely that Joe Biden threatened a black gangster at a pool after children rubbed his legs than that Joe Biden's father saw two dudes kissing in 1961 and said, it's simple, Joe, they love each other.
So, they've clarified here.
Yes, for Corn Pop is more likely.
No, for Gay Curious Great Grandpa Joe is more likely.
How did they describe?
I want to read this again.
They just love each other, Joey.
Yeah, that's what happens in 1950s Scranton.
Yeah, or even earlier.
So, you're answering as I would answer.
Yeah, that it's more likely the gangster.
For sure.
Do you know why?
Why?
I hate to admit this, because I'm sure Joe made up pretty much all of the details.
Yeah.
Corn Pop is real.
There was a local newspaper article.
Someone dug it up.
Of this guy who was called Corn Pop, who existed around the time and around the place as Joe Biden.
That part, at least, of the story is real.
I hope the kids rubbing his hairy legs is not real.
That probably is real, too.
So I guess Joe Biden, actually, of all the stories he's ever told, that one might be the most truthful.
I mean, it's just like, it's not even a clever, that other one where it's, you know, my grandfather, what is it, was it his dad?
His father.
Yes.
That sounds exactly like the libs on Twitter that are like, my daughter came to my room and was like, mommy, what are they doing to the trans people?
And I was like, no.
And we cried.
And the TSA agents applauded.
Yes.
Yes.
It was in the middle of every, you know.
Do you know what would happen if a couple guys started making out on the street in Delaware or Scranton in the 50s?
Don't want to know.
We don't want to know.
Yeah.
It would not be nice.
No.
OK.
All right.
Damn you.
I admit, I do sympathize a little with Dylan Mulvaney.
Because I too was once an impressionable theater kid.
And who knows what could have happened to me if I was cast in Rent on Broadway in my wayward youth.
Five hundred twenty-five pounds.
Six hundred minutes.
Five hundred twenty-five pounds.
I always preferred, I preferred Lease, which was a Trey Parker and Matt Stones version, where the lead song was, everyone has AIDS.
My uncle and my dog.
Okay.
So you sympathize?
I sympathize with Dom Mulvaney because I was a theater kid.
Yeah, of course.
There but for the grace of God go I.
I talk about this a lot.
It's not exactly Dylan, but I do see myself in a lot of the young women who transition, who went through a terrible puberty and didn't fit in, and felt like, and I always say, the ugly duckling.
I was the ugly duckling.
I was like gangly, and I wasn't cute.
Definitely not, at like 12 years old, and you know, that kind of thing.
I desperately, you know, wanted to be friends with more guys.
I hated the girls when I was around.
That would have been me.
If I had not had the mother that I did, And she literally had a conversation with me, and I remember we were on Mulholland Drive, and I was about 15 years old, and she was like, I want you to think very critically about how you're presenting yourself to the world.
Because you were all black, you're wearing Doc Martens, you're sitting like a dude, like this.
You only hang out with men.
You're angry at women.
And she was like, it's okay to be feminine without getting rid of the parts of your personality that make you more of a tomboy that come with being raised around three brothers.
And she was like, I see you going down a path that's not you, and it's something that's coming out of anger and resentment and not feeling like you fit in.
With the more promiscuous and shallow L.A.
girls or whatever, but that's not everyone.
Doesn't mean you're not a girl.
Yeah, so it's not exactly Dylan, but I do sympathize with that kind of thing of you feel so out of place and this culture only feeds you two options, which is to be the stereotypical whatever.
Or it's like, oh, if you're uncomfortable with yourself, just change it.
You'll be so happy.
Yeah, yeah.
And plus, theater just makes everything more complicated.
It does.
It does.
Because I was fortunate in that doing theater was only one part of my life.
I was involved in lots of other stuff, too, in high school and student government and all these things.
So it kind of balanced out a little bit of that.
But my fear would not be that I would have become a chick or something or a homosexual or anything.
For all of my many sins, I always knew I was a guy and I always liked girls.
But my fear would have been that I would have followed the Dylan Mulvaney route to just seek attention above all things.
Which you see a lot in entertainment.
Look, I have a show, I give speeches, I go around, so it's not that I'm averse to people paying attention to things I say.
It's different.
If that's the primary thing you're seeking, you are going to go down a dark path.
If that's secondary to, I want to say something that's true, I want to learn something about human nature, I want to help people see the world more precisely, and you get attention for that and that helps the work, that's a wonderful thing.
But if you are just chasing attention, then you will do anything, including... Well, he hasn't done that yet.
Has he not done that?
No!
Oh, of course.
No, because he's normalizing the Bolt.
Remember that video?
No, I don't remember that video.
Oh, you should watch it.
Yeah, he did a little dance where he was normalized.
He wore very, very tight shorts and he normalized the bulge.
Could I request a spoon to carve out my mind's eye from that image?
Okay.
In a well-ordered society, crusty white dogs would be slotted into their proper place outdoors among the squirrels, raccoons, and pit bulls.
Wow.
Crusty little white dogs.
Hmm.
Uh, well.
I'm gonna say, yeah.
Because you're a good man.
I think you have to drink, Brett.
I'm afraid to say.
I've been drinking the entire time, anyway.
I know, I don't really.
You hate crusty white dogs?
Yeah.
You haven't met Rocky.
I have not met Rocky, that's true.
Maybe he'll be the one.
He can change me.
It's a girl, don't misgender my dog.
Rocky?
Yes.
Is a girl?
She's named after Rocky Balboa.
Get it right.
Who is a?
Male.
Yeah, so what?
It's 2023.
It's the year of gender confusion.
Even for the canines.
It is.
You know what?
She's fixed.
She's a eunuch of a dog.
She's a non-binary dog.
It's not that I hate dogs.
I'm not a dog person.
I'm not a cat person.
I'm much more of a people person.
But I do think if one is going to have a dog, the dog has to be either Comically small, like a wiener dog?
Or sort of comically, you know, deformed like a bulldog?
Like an English bulldog?
I do love full dogs.
Yep.
Or, inconveniently large.
That's true.
Like a St.
Bernard, Great Dane kind of thing.
And you know what?
I prefer bigger dogs.
We've always had bigger dogs.
You know, I had a Bernese Mountain Dog, and then my dog that I had for 16 years, he died in August, was a Great Pyrenees.
My mom has, well right now she has 10 Great Pyrenees, because she had puppies.
But she really, she really only has three.
She's ten of them.
I had a friend that I worked with, a Trader Joe's, and his family had an accidental litter of puppies, and he needed to find homes for them.
And he was like, I know that you love dogs.
Can I give you this little, like, floof?
Yeah.
And I was in a mid-college crisis, is what I would call it, my sophomore year of college.
I don't know why I decided to adopt a dog sophomore year of college.
During college?
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah.
I wasn't, like, living in dorms or anything.
Right.
I was just like, sure, bring it on.
But he wanted to be a boxer.
He was working at Trader Joe's, but he was wanting to be a boxer.
So I was like, I need to name this, like, little female dog after a boxer.
Rocky.
Yeah.
I love Rocky.
Little Evander Holyfield.
Yeah, that's not as cute for a dog.
No, not at all.
But my other dog, he is bigger.
Yeah, he's a real dog.
But not inconveniently large.
No, he's not inconveniently large.
Rocky is a... She's not a dog.
She's in a subset.
She's in her own category.
She's a trans.
She is.
She's something.
She's non-binary.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
99% of men who are pro-choice hold that view so that random swipe rights are more likely to hook up so they won't be on the hook for child support.
Let's answer and I'll comment.
Yes, except that last part.
Yes, they say they're pro-abortion because they want women to sleep with them.
I don't think it's primarily so that it'll be easier to kill their children if a child is... I don't think it goes that deep.
It doesn't go that deep.
I think it's because they think that that's what women want.
And they'll say whatever for women.
But I also do think, I don't think it goes as deep as like child support, but I do think they don't want the responsibility.
I mean, it's the same thing of why they're hooking up rather than trying to pursue a relationship, because that actually takes commitment and effort.
Right.
And emotionally, putting yourself out there.
Right.
So I do think that it comes with a lack of, you know, wanting to be responsible for anything.
So maybe it would lead into that, but I don't think they're looking at that like, oh, I don't, you know, I don't want to pay for whatever.
These men, they're just chasing 304s, you know?
Yeah.
I learned that phrase on the Whatever podcast.
I don't even know what that means.
304s.
I just said yes.
If you typed in 304 in a calculator and read it upside down.
Boobs.
Oh.
I don't know what the boobs would be.
What is the boobs?
That'd be 5-8-0-0-8.
That's much better.
My brother used to do that.
I was so confident.
I was like, oh, of course.
3-0-4.
Anti-disestablishmentarianism, of course.
Yeah.
No.
I didn't at first, but after watching his viral Would You Rather clip on attractive men who are now trans women, I think Andrew Tate is probably having more fun in the Romanian prison than we first thought.
I haven't seen that clip.
What is he doing?
He says that he... He insinuates that he would rather sleep with... That he would sleep with a hot trans guy-girl than a less attractive... than a less attractive woman who presents as him.
Oh!
Yeah, he's having a good time.
Apparently.
He's having a great time.
He's tweeting.
He is.
Well, his hair doesn't look that great.
Have you seen that?
I haven't.
No, I haven't kept up with it.
He always said that he was bald by choice.
Did you see that picture?
He's not bald by choice.
It's a little unfortunate.
It's a little patchy.
Just be honest.
Okay.
Real talk.
Dish girl.
Let's spill the tea.
Real talk.
People who claim to have been abducted or had direct contact with aliens were most likely just tripping balls on a dose of the old Joe Rogan special.
What is Matt taking?
Yeah, true.
Right, yeah, Matt does confound this a little bit.
No, they might just be mentally ill or vexed by demons.
Yeah.
I don't think it has to be drugs.
Or they're confused.
Or they just don't know.
They might have thought that it was.
Yeah, they could be gullible.
I see blinking weird things in the sky all the time.
Yeah.
And I'm like, hmm.
Yeah, listen, I wake up in the middle of the night and I think that I'm being probed by a little green man, you know?
But I think, oh, it was probably just, you know, a light breeze or something.
Or your child.
Get out of my room, buddy!
Okay.
It is more difficult for women over six feet to find a date than it is for a guy who is under 5'8".
So it's more difficult for a woman- Oh!
Over, no way.
Because so many guys like really tall girls.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Well, because they're like, oh my god, I don't know.
That's true.
I mean, if you're like 6'5", I imagine that is harder.
But I mean, it could work out for you because you'll date some NBA player and you'll be super rich for the rest of your life.
That's true.
You make a good point.
No, yeah, that's certainly true.
It's very hard for Because I think men are more willing, well it goes back to that whole thing of, you know, women control sexual encounters.
Women are the gateway, quite literally, but men are more willing to compromise on that kind of thing.
And they're like, oh she's beautiful, whatever, I don't care.
And women will look at a great guy and be like, There was a guy, he has a very funny nickname from this town that I hung out in growing up, but I'm not going to say his name because he would be identifiable to people in this community, so I'm not going to say it.
Trust me, it was very, very funny and a great pun.
But he was quite short.
There's something medical going on.
And he was very angry about it.
And I think people carry a lot of that anger.
You know, the Napoleon Complex or something.
But the thing is, if you can just accept one state in life, and if you're a guy who's under 5'8 or something, and then you marry a really tall woman, you're going to look like the man.
Yeah, exactly.
You're going to look like Sarkozy or something.
It all comes back to confidence.
Yeah.
If you're comfortable with it, if you're not trying to overcompensate or anything like that.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, OK.
Alrighty, we're getting to the end here.
I have a ghost story.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I just wrote it.
I blew it.
I'm done drinking.
Come on, Michael!
Get it together!
Yeah.
Do you?
I mean, I thought that I did when I was like eight years old.
But I don't know.
So, the two things that I think I saw.
My grandfather, my paternal grandfather died when I was very young.
And I thought that I saw him at my grandmother's house shortly after he passed.
And then I got really into it and was like, You know what they argue?
Because there have been plenty of stories where it seems like, you know, there's something that would seem to reflect one's dead grandfather or something like that.
"Okay, I guess I need to try to talk to Granddad." 'Cause he's like, anyway, it was so stupid.
I don't know why, I was such a freak, I was so weird. - You know what they argue?
'Cause there have been plenty of stories where it seems like there's something that would seem to reflect one's dead grandfather or something like that.
I think we've got plenty of those.
But then the question is, is it a ghost?
Is it a hallucination, a ghost, or a demon?
We all get back to demons here.
It does, and it's actually a real Catholic-Protestant thing.
Some Protestants believe in ghosts, but a lot of Protestants don't.
This is what Hamlet is about in the opening scene, right?
You know, the question is, did I see the ghost of my father?
And Hamlet is largely about the Protestant Revolution, you know, the University of Wittenberg, and the nature of truth, and is there a monopoly of truth anymore?
And so the question of, have I seen a ghost, is a question of, are the Catholics right or are the Protestants right, in many ways.
But the argument for ghosts existing is there's a ghost in the Bible.
The Witch of Endor summons a ghost of Samuel.
So I think ghosts can exist.
If something gets a little bit eerie and off and you think, I just don't look too into it.
I just think there's a lot of spiritual stuff going on all around me.
That's not for me.
Curiosity is not a virtue, as Father Rehill told me on a long interview.
Well, I'm pretty sure my father saw ghosts as well, because I used to sleep in my parents' bedroom.
I would like run across the house, because I was always terrified that maybe we could get into demons here.
But we lived in a very, very long house in I also had a dream of like, a small person.
This was a recurring dream.
I had one bedroom wing here, and then my parents' bedroom was here.
And I would turn off the lights and sprint, because I was certain that there was some crazy woman chasing me.
I also had a dream of a small person.
This was a recurring dream chasing me and being able to-- it was like a ghost of a small person teleporting around and chasing me.
He was like a 5'6 guy.
He was like, I want to be your husband.
Get over here.
4'11".
Small, little, like, Asian, tiny 4'11".
In black and red chasing me.
Anyway, so I was very, very weird.
But I would run into my parents room.
Anyway, so one night when I was sleeping, my father thinks that he saw the ghost of my brother who had passed away like three years prior, like, standing next to my bed.
Very weird.
But then I also, I'm kind of into ghost tours, though.
I'll do ghost tours.
Will you?
The one in Franklin.
Well, everything's haunted around here.
I know.
You were reminding me, though.
Yeah, there was one time I woke up, and I'm pretty sure I saw or felt a ghost.
And you don't know, because you think, well, you're waking up.
And you just don't look into it.
But you don't kind of look.
You just think, OK.
Yeah.
OK.
This is the last one.
That's you.
This is me?
Yeah.
People who believe the Earth is the center of the universe should kick rocks and go touch grass.
I'm kicking rocks.
It's the center of the universe over here, Ben Davies.
Okay, wait.
People who believe the Earth is the center of the universe should kick rocks and go touch grass.
They're crazy.
They're deluded.
Yeah.
Is it metaphorically, or is it someone who actually believes?
What's a metaphor?
That's a metaphor, man.
Hmm.
Woo!
The Earth is the center of the universe.
Okay.
More precisely, man is the center of the universe.
Okay.
And is this physically, or are we just talking about I mean, is it literal?
I don't know.
Literal refers to letters which are signs and symbols.
You know, all models are wrong.
Some models are useful.
So this model that we have, whatever model you have of the physical universe, let's say it derives from some conception of the Big Bang, it involves the Earth circling the Sun around the Milky Way and the various galaxies and superclusters that are floating all around.
Whatever image you have in your mind is wrong.
It's not even close to the physical representation.
Even the visible universe, which is every single thing you're imagining right now, is something like 5% of the universe.
So, according to whatever model, which is probably wrong too.
So, all models are wrong.
Some models are useful.
What tells you more about reality?
That man is some random little blip floating on a rock somewhere in the middle of nowhere for no particular reason at all.
Or, man is the center of the universe.
Because what I can tell you for certain is that man A rational being, union of body and soul, a hylomorphic union, is at the meeting of metaphysical reality and physical reality.
I know that for certain.
That's the only reason we can speak right now in this room.
So I can rely on that.
Therefore, if I view the universe with the Earth at the center of it, you can come up with a mathematical model as to why that's true.
We're all just talking about models.
And it will tell you much more about the nature of reality.
It's kind of like, what's a woman?
People don't really have a good answer for that.
People say, well, 2X chromosomes.
I don't know what the hell 2X chromosomes is.
What does that mean?
That doesn't mean anything to me.
What is a woman?
Sugar, spice, and everything nice.
I get that.
That tells me a lot more.
Sugar, spice, and everything nice is much closer to what a woman is than 2X chromosomes in a woman.
Well, it's tangible.
We can see it.
We experience it every day.
Yeah.
Rather than, I guess, yeah.
But I'm seeing your point.
Right.
Rather than something that we're just not truly understanding, but we're taking from an expert.
Yeah, but some expert who doesn't know anything, who's got all these wrong priors and premises, who thinks that he's the center of the universe, like Mr. Fauci or somebody.
But no.
Maybe you've convinced me.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Here we are.
We're at, you and me, right at the center of the universe.
This is the most important thing in the world.
It's very important, too, for sacramental theology, because the idea of the Blessed Sacrament is it's the perfect union of physical and metaphysical.
This idea that the cross is the axle on which the world turns.
That tells me much more than some stupid science lecture on magnets at the North Pole, but it's not really at the pole, it's kind of the fake pole.
Whatever, man.
Whatever, nerd!
I care about truth, alright?
There's a lot more truth in poetry and myth and revelation and the true myth, in fact, than in whatever some stupid lecture Dr. Fauci gave.
That's why you learn more from literature and stories than you do anywhere else.
Of course, of course.
That's why emotion is more important in convincing people.
Yes, and you know where else people find truth sometimes?
In vino veritas, they will sometimes say.
Though, I don't know, sometimes they get deluded there as well.
Cheers.
My dear, to your health.
To your sobriety.
And to my sobriety.
Next time I'll drink triple after Easter.
Wonderful to have you.
Thank you.
Wonderful to have you.
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