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June 26, 2022 - The Michael Knowles Show
19:37
FACE-OFF: Woman Edition | Matt Walsh Vs Michael Knowles

In honor of Matt Walsh's movie "What Is A Woman?" we will see which Daily Wire host knows the most about the opposite sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello and welcome back to another episode of Face Off.
I'm Ben Davies and I will be the guy who reads the cards today.
For the Current Champions show, that current champion is, of course, Noel Stradamus himself, Mr.
Michael Knowles.
It's wonderful to be with you.
Thank you for having me on my own show.
This topic is near and dear to my heart, so I'm really, really looking forward to getting started.
And this is a very special episode because today is the first ever rematch after we found out definitively that he was in fact a worse Catholic than Michael Knowles and that man who needs no introduction, the sweet baby gang's daddy himself, man that hurt to say, Mr.
Matt Walsh.
Yes, I continue to insist that if people are going to call me Sweet Daddy, just do it in written form because I don't like to hear it said out loud.
But listen, everyone knows I'm a women's studies scholar now, so I feel pretty prepared.
I might be a bad Catholic, but when it comes to women's studies, I'm the preeminent scholar in the world, so I'm feeling pretty good.
Well, in honor of the greatest documentary film ever, What is a Woman?
Available now exclusively at The Daily Wire.
And given Michael's hot streak, I felt like it would only be fitting to step into Matt Walsh's area of expertise and put his research to the test to find out once and for all, who knows more about the opposite sex?
This is Face Off, Women Edition.
Michael, I believe you have something you'd like to say.
I absolutely do.
When you're doing your own research into women and people of the opposite sex, you probably don't want people looking at your internet data, which is why you've got to check out ExpressVPN.
Go check out ExpressVPN today.
Smoothest ad segue ever.
That was definitely one of your best, Michael.
All right, here we go.
First question.
What is the highest number of children that a single woman has ever birthed?
What is the record?
But a single woman, as in an unmarried woman?
No, no, just a woman.
Like, one woman, the most children ever birthed.
Over the course of her life?
Over the course of her life, yes.
Not all at once.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Um...
All right.
All right, Knowles.
30.
Walsh?
I'm gonna say 23.
23.
The correct answer, gentlemen, is an impressive 69 children.
Oh, no way.
Nice.
Really?
That's crazy.
That's not possible.
To a woman who, she's the wife of Fedor Vysloved, some Russian guy.
Oh, yeah.
Sure, him.
She gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets.
When was this?
What year was this?
This is between 1707 and 1782.
There's no way to confirm that's actually true.
Yeah.
I need proof before I accept that I actually lost that.
They do say that the first 67 are the hardest.
And then after that, it's pretty easy, actually.
Alright, point goes to Michael Knowles that...
I was with you guys.
I thought it was like around 20.
That was ridiculous.
Alright.
What is the most female-dominated profession in America?
Um...
Like legal professions?
Yeah, like job, career...
Make sure Walsh doesn't get his phone out.
Hey Siri, what's the most female dominated profession?
Okay, I found this on the web for what's the most female dominated profession.
Check it out.
You better write down your answer first.
She didn't give an answer at all.
Wait a second, I just...
This one's a toss up.
There's three or four that a lot of people go to.
Michael, what was yours?
HR. HR, that's a good one.
Matt Walsh.
What I thought of in a moment of inspiration was preschool teacher.
Preschool teacher.
It is, in fact, preschool teacher.
Wow, what are the odds?
Education's a passion of mine, so I know a lot about that field.
97.6%.
Wow.
Imagine the 2.4%.
Alright, next question.
What does the average woman spend on makeup per year?
The average woman spend on makeup per year.
The average American woman?
Yes.
So really both of us are just answering what we think our wives spend.
That's all this really is.
$50,000.
No, Lisa actually does not wear a lot of makeup.
Alright, we're going to go Matt Walsh first.
$3,000.
$3,000.
I put it at a much more modest $600.
The average woman spends $1,380 per year.
That's closer, right, Michael?
Now we're talking.
I didn't even need Siri.
I'm not good with math, but I think Michael just got a point there.
Mrs.
Walsh just robbing Matt blind on those cosmetics.
All right, next up.
Who was the fastest woman ever?
Who?
Yes.
She has the world record in the 100-meter dash.
That guy from the Connecticut high school?
I assume.
I just better write a random woman's name down.
Matt Walsh?
The well-known Olympian Mary Smith.
Is the fastest woman.
Michael Knowles.
I said Amelia Earhart.
Ah, that would be good.
This is the 100 meter dash, though.
This is Flojo, Florence Joyner in the 80s.
She ran 10.49 in the 100 meter dash.
And fun fact, if I identified as a woman, I would be the second fastest woman ever.
Wow!
You wouldn't be the fastest woman ever?
No, she was juiced out of her mind, allegedly.
No one's even gotten close to this woman's 100-meter dash world record.
Flojo, that was my second guess.
Yep.
Okay.
All right.
How much more time does it take for the average woman to park a car?
More time above what it takes the average man.
A man, yes.
Do you want the answer in minutes or hours?
Yeah, the study's actually still going.
They're still trying to parallel park somewhere.
Hmm...
All right, Mike, what you got?
I'm going to say 90 seconds.
Matt Walsh?
That's exactly what I wrote.
Really?
Oh, no!
It is actually 20 seconds, according to a female-led study.
20 seconds every time someone barks.
Female-led study.
Next up, what is the average height of a woman in America?
It's about to increase substantially, I think, in the next few years, depending on how we classify things.
All right, Matt.
You're a woman scholar.
What you got, Matt Walsh?
5'6".
I said 5'4".
According to world data, the average height of an American woman is 5'4".
Yes!
Son of a man!
This doesn't make any sense.
There's something going on here.
The tallest women in the world are actually from Latvia, and the average is 5'6", and like three quarters.
So Americans are shorter on average now.
No, you know why?
This is also just because Matt's built like a lumberjack.
So to him, he's just like, oh yeah, I don't know, what's the average height for a woman?
It's like 5'11".
Everyone under six feet tall is like the same height, in my opinion.
All right.
How many types of bras, not brands, just types of bras, are there?
Tight?
There's more than one type?
Right.
It's like push-up?
Regular?
I've got two.
There are shockingly more than you would expect.
I would have guessed two if you hadn't led us into the question that way.
Black, red, white.
Off, on, hmm.
The kind where you do this behind the, you know, and then some it's...
15 seconds.
Types.
I'm ready to go.
Start humming that music, Walsh.
I'm ready.
All right.
All right, Mike, what do you got?
I said 15 because you said the number 15 when you said how much time we had left, and that's what put it in my head.
And I also said 15.
Are you kidding me?
You guys are killing me.
All right.
The correct answer is a shocking 45.
What?
45 different types of bras.
Can you list them all?
Well, because obviously there's some for two, some for three, some for seven.
No, it's not even...
Oh, no.
No.
All right, next up.
According to Ranker, the website, the open source ranking website, who is currently the most attractive woman in the world?
Oh, now you're really going to get us in trouble.
Yeah, this is bad.
This is what other people are ranking, you know, this is not you guys.
What other people think.
Yes.
This is an updated ranking system all the time, so this would be the current most attractive people in the world.
I don't know, because I'm also not really into pop culture, so I don't even really know who the hot chicks are.
I know who the hot chicks are from, like, 15 years ago.
Yeah, I'm going to give an answer from, like, the early 90s.
Yeah.
Cindy Crawford.
Yeah.
Like, Queen Elizabeth.
She used to be, back in her day.
Matt Walsh.
I put Hillary Clinton.
It might just be a personal taste thing.
I don't know.
I put two answers.
I said for the ranker answer, Kate Moss.
But in reality, my wife.
Aww.
You get bonus points.
You didn't get any points for the answer, though.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll take what I can get.
Who is it?
Currently, the hottest woman in the world is Gal Gadot from Wonder Woman.
And second is Scarlett Johansson.
And third, by the way, Caitlyn Jenner.
Would you have guessed that?
The person closest gets the point, right?
So who's closer to Gal Gadot?
Not for this man.
Hillary Clinton.
Or Kate Moss.
All right, next up.
What number of sexual partners does the average woman have in her lifetime?
And this is a study done in the United States and UK. This is an anonymous study, we assume.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a study with over 2,000 people.
What a hussy.
2,000 people, that girl?
That's bad.
Number of sexual partners?
Yes.
Sexual partners in a lifetime.
Not business partners.
And this was people who identify as women, actually, is what it said.
Oh, people who identify...
Well, now you've just...
Now you're just throwing all wrenches on that thing.
Well, there's none that just say women anymore.
They're all identified.
Which is why people need to go watch What is a Woman?
available now exclusively at The Daily Wire.
All right.
Um...
Everyone's such a whore these days.
It's hard to know.
Cut out that I said that.
Cut out the these days.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Michael Knowles.
I said six.
Matt Walsh?
I'm going to be a little more generous and say four.
The correct answer is seven.
What the?
Seven?
Seven.
What the hell, ladies?
Guess what the average number for a man is in his lifetime?
Dozen?
6.2.
It's lower than the average woman now.
Wow.
Shameful.
Yep.
Wow.
Let me ask you something.
What if there was someone out there who kept a log of every single thing you ever did every minute of the day?
That would probably be pretty creepy, right?
Well, what if I told you that already happens?
It happens every time you go online.
Your internet provider, ATT, Comcast, whatever, they are allowed to store logs of every website you've ever visited.
They can legally sell this data to anyone, which is why you've got to use ExpressVPN.
ExpressVPN reroutes your internet connection through their secure servers so that your internet provider cannot see or log what you do online.
This is so important, especially if you're like me.
Maybe you're not the most politically correct guy in the world.
Maybe the powers that be probably don't love what you have to say all that much.
It's so easy.
I put ExpressVPN on my phone, on my computer.
Boom, boom.
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Next question.
Do women find a photo of a man smiling or straight-faced more attractive?
Do women find a photo of a man smiling or straight-faced more attractive?
For my sake, I hope it's straight-faced.
I could see Psychobabble going in either direction on this one.
All right.
Michael, what do you got?
I say smiling.
Walsh?
And as predicted, I'm going to say straight-faced.
Research has shown that...
Wait.
Research has shown find...
Is Ben having a stroke?
I'm going to summarize this.
Research has shown that women find the first impression most attractive when the man is brooding and mysterious.
Wow.
That's me, brooding and mysterious.
Here's my question about that, though.
There was a great essay written by Chris Hitchens some years ago called Why Women Aren't Funny.
And he said that there were exceptions for why women aren't funny, including if they are hefty or lesbians or Jewish.
But he said generally women aren't that funny.
And his argument was because they don't need to be, because men find women really physically attractive, whereas men have to be funny because we're not generally very physically attractive.
So I would expect, I don't know, I would expect a sense of humor to...
All right, according to Forbes, how much money did Mackenzie Scott get in her divorce with Jeff Bezos?
Gosh.
This also makes her the second wealthiest woman on the planet.
Second wealthiest, all right.
So...
All right.
All right, Matt.
Five billion.
Michael.
Hundred billion.
It is 57.7 billion.
So I thank Michael, barely squeezed out again.
Son of a...
That's so close.
That was extraordinarily close.
Wow.
All right, all right.
What do most women notice first when meeting a man?
Hmm.
Like...
What captivates the woman?
Physically?
Or...
You gotta be more specific.
Spiritually.
Is that a personality trait, a physical trait?
It...
I can't specify.
According to who?
According to women in this poll.
In what poll?
Is he running at the clock here?
Who conducted the poll?
Ten seconds.
I don't have the article in front of me.
I think I know the answer to this.
Everything's rigged.
You brought me on here to embarrass me while I'm promoting my film.
That's what this is about.
What's in that mug?
Don't worry about that.
All right, you guys got it?
I think so.
All right, Mike, what do you got?
I'm going to say height.
That's what I said.
You guys are both dead wrong.
Apparently, it's the eyes.
Oh, please.
Give me a break.
I don't buy it.
I don't buy it.
Well, I asked this question to some of the women in the makeup room and everyone said eyes immediately.
That was like the thing.
No, that's so fake.
That's just how they view themselves.
The actual answer is height, money, I don't know, car maybe?
Nobody cares about anybody's eyes.
When someone says, oh, they have nice looking eyes, I don't know what that means.
Everyone's eyes look the same.
Yeah.
Alright, name five countries with the highest proportion of women in parliaments.
Name five, and you'll get a point for each one you get correct.
I'm gonna get every single one of these wrong.
I'll give you a hint, it's not Pakistan.
Okay.
That wasn't my first answer.
Some of these are hard for me to pronounce.
And if I hear a hey Siri, you're automatically disqualified.
No, I think...
All right, I've got my answers.
Matt, you good?
Yeah.
All right.
Michael?
I said Estonia, Finland, Iceland, the UK, and then when you gave your hint at the end, I said Kyrgyzstan.
I'm known for their feminism.
I said USA, Brazil, Canada, and some places in Europe.
The top five are Rwanda at 63.8%, which is wild.
Rwanda?
Rwanda, Andorra with 50, Cuba at 48.9%, Sweden at 45, I thought you guys may get Sweden, and South Africa at 44.8%.
So none of us got any of the answers right?
No.
What about Kyrgyzstan?
I don't think that's going to fly with the fact checkers here.
Didn't realize Cuba had much of a parliamentary system.
That's what I was getting at.
Alright, next up.
What is your wife's favorite color?
Am I married to a four-year-old?
What do you mean, favorite color?
Do adults have favorite colors?
I got confirmation from both your wives this morning of what these colors are.
Our marriages are riding on this.
All right.
I got a guess.
All right.
Walsh, what do you got?
Hey, Siri.
What's my...
Uh...
Maroon.
Why would you pick such a specific shade of a color?
I picked red, generally.
You guys both got it right, actually.
Red and maroon.
She said maroon?
She said maroon.
I know my wife.
Wow.
Well, even though Matt just got absolutely destroyed and lost, he did kind of win there at the end.
That's impressive.
How much is the last question worth?
It could be worth seven or eight.
With such a specific answer, the fact that I knew my wife that well, I feel like that should be worth something.
Well, the winner and still king of face-off, Michael Knowles.
And to the victor goes the spoils.
So, Matt Walsh, do you have anything you'd like to say about the Michael Knowles show?
What, is this supposed to be 30 seconds?
Yeah.
Well, you know, Michael Knowles, along with having a great podcast, also is a great author of the book Reasons to Vote for Democrats.
So my pitch for his show will be in the spirit of that wonderful book. - Wow, Matt, that was, that was, that moved me.
Michael, did it move you?
It did.
Thank you very much, Matt.
That was really succinct, concise.
Speaking your language, I thought.
You're speaking my language, a true economy of words.
I'm glad that we could delve a little more into what women are, what women want.
You know, you take a man, you take away accountability and reason, as Jack Nicholson once said.
I'm glad that we could get to know the opposite sex.
They say there will never be a With the enemy.
And to follow this up, in a spirit of true, gracious victory here, I think I'm going to go watch What is a Woman?
Well, there you have it.
If you haven't seen it already, go check out What is a Woman right now over at The Daily Wire.
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