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Feb. 26, 2022 - The Michael Knowles Show
41:09
Ben Shapiro Vs Michael Knowles | FACE-OFF: Famous Dead Guys

You asked for it and we delivered it. Welcome to Face-Off to finally settle "Who really knows more famous dead guys. Knowles or Shapiro?" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Time Text
Welcome to Face-Off.
I am your host, Cabot Phillips.
Today is the time for us to answer a very important question, and that is which Daily Wire host has the most knowledge of quotes from famous dead guys?
And here to help us answer those two very important questions are the man himself, Mr.
Michael Knowles, best-selling author, host of The Michael Knowles Show.
Michael, welcome.
Thank you for having me on my own show, Cabot.
You remind me each time we do this that this is in fact your show.
I'm not the host.
But just let me believe just for a little bit.
And your competitor today in the face-off competition is Mr.
Ben Shapiro, who's, I might add, his best-selling books do actually have words in them.
Ben, thanks for joining us.
You bet.
This is only a lose-lose for me.
I also will point out that it might be a lose-lose for you.
Michael has yet to lose any of these competitions.
He bested Matt Walsh in showing who was the best Daily Wire Catholic.
The better Catholic is, of course, Matt Walsh, but Knowles got more answers right.
All right.
And he bested Dave Rubin in who is the greatest culture warrior.
You know, Michael is a man who's very comfortable with his sexuality.
Yeah.
Michael is coming in on a hot streak.
This is a great point, Cabot, because you would say right now, my loss board is clean.
Naturally, it's clean.
And when you want to clean all of your services, I would recommend that you check out Naturally It's Clean.
More from them later.
First, though, I have got to try to keep up my perfect win streak.
I am now up.
I'm up against the big boss.
This is not, you know, I love Dave and I love Matt.
This is going to be maybe a little more formidable.
Formidable indeed.
So let's just get right to it so you don't get any more nervous than I'm sure you already are.
This is Face-Off: Famous Dead Guys.
The rules of the game are simple.
I will read a quote from a famous dead man.
You two will have 30 seconds.
I'm sure it won't take 30.
You'll have your answers in quicker.
To answer who said that quote, which famous dead man was it, then we will get right to it.
The first quote for you gentlemen today.
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Oh, wait.
Oh, actually, hold on.
There's more of a story with this one, I think.
There are two correct answers that we will take for this one, because there is a little bit of dispute on who exactly this belongs to.
All right, Michael, you're finished.
Ben, we'll start with you, because you got yours in first.
Supposedly Voltaire...
Michael, who are you going with?
So I put the little second caveat one down there, but I did put Voltaire up first.
It's a little tricky when you name Voltaire these days, because a GOP congressman just got in trouble for confusing a quote from a neo-Nazi pedophile with a quote from Voltaire, but I'll stick with the first one, supposedly Voltaire.
You were both correct.
We would have accepted Voltaire or Evelyn Beatrice Hall.
There was some dispute still on that.
Probably getting misquoted by a lot of people.
Not by you, gentlemen.
Well done.
One point to each.
Next up.
By all means, marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll become happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Ben's got his in, Michael.
Okay.
Alright, Michael, you're gonna go first on this one.
Who you got?
I guessed Aristotle, not because I've heard Aristotle say that or read it, but because all those old Greeks were gay guys, and so I figured if they had an unhappy marriage, that would be more likely for them.
Ben, what about you?
Yeah.
I went with Samuel Johnson, mainly because it kind of sounds like Samuel Johnson.
Uh, Michael was closer on this one.
This one was actually Socrates.
Really?
That is what the producers are telling me.
Wow, that's shocking.
So if not, take it up with your producers, Michael, if you think that was incorrect.
I almost wrote Socrates, but I thought Aristotle was the funnier gay guy.
Joke.
But that, well, okay.
Do I get points for that?
I don't know.
That was pretty close.
No.
Even though it is your show, we're not going to get points for this.
Sadly, no.
What?
Ah, darn.
I should have put Socrates.
That would have been funnier.
Okay.
Next up.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hmm.
Ben's taking a little more time than you, so maybe easy for you, Michael.
Ben, we'll start with you.
Walk us through the thought process.
I saw some deep thinking going on.
Well, I mean, it depends where you are in the multiverse as to who says this, right?
Because Uncle Ben says this to Peter Parker, or alternatively, Marissa Tomei says it to Peter Parker.
All right, very thorough.
Michael, what you got?
I, uh...
I'm not as much of a nerd on these things.
I just said Spider-Man.
Does that count?
No, that's incorrect.
I do not think we're going to give you points on that for Spider-Man.
Also, I would just like to point out at this point, you're not a nerd for enjoying the most popular movie in the world, Michael.
You don't have to play that game.
I'm just a nerd.
Oh, no.
Ben, you get points for that.
We also would have accepted Uncle Ben, Winston Churchill, Stan Lee, or the Apostle Luke, who said to whom much is given, much is expected.
Any of those we would have technically taken.
Spider-Man does not count, unfortunately.
Fair enough.
Next up.
I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Alright, Michael, we'll start with you.
Who you got?
I'm shooting in the dark here, as was this man.
Galileo?
Alright, Ben?
I also said Galileo, but I'm with Michael.
It could be like three other guys.
I want to say very close.
Generally close.
It was Sir Isaac Newton.
Newton.
Yeah, okay.
He was the other guy, I was thinking.
Yep, me too.
Alright, so no points awarded there.
Next up.
Let my teaching fall like rain, and my words descend like dew.
Like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.
Let my teaching fall like rain, and my words descend like dew.
Uh Ben is just rearing to hold up the whiteboards.
We're gonna go to him He looks very confident.
I'm going to go with my boy Moses.
All right, Michael?
From Deuteronomy.
Oh, darn.
I wanted it to be more mystical, so I suggested Confucius.
Mr.
Shapiro gets the points on this one.
Devastating.
That's my book, Michael, Michael.
Yeah, you're in my backyard with that one.
That's brutal.
You know, I'm doing Bible in a year.
I can almost cite that one in the original Hebrew.
I can almost cite that one in the original Hebrew.
I always start Bible in a year.
So I've read Genesis about a thousand times.
But I'm not yet up again to Deuteronomy.
I'm still on Exodus.
Many a Bible reading plan has died on the shores of Deuteronomy.
Next up.
No, it all falls apart in Leviticus.
Deuteronomy is great.
I actually may have gotten that wrong.
Next up.
This one, again, this is a quote from someone else.
I am a deeply closeted gay guy.
You can't say Socrates again.
Hmm I'll read it one more time for the sake of reminding I am a deeply closeted gay guy Can't make the Socrates joke, you already did that.
Man.
I'm having a real tough time with this one, I'll be honest with you.
Ah.
Hmm.
Slightly more recent.
There's so many jokes and I can't pick between them!
I can't pick between them!
What do we do?
I don't know.
Okay, we'll do this.
Would it help if I read the quote one more time?
One more time, Gavin.
Alright, fine.
Alright, Michael, who'd you go with?
Ben might know how to quote Moses, but I know how to quote Norm MacDonald.
Ben?
Oh, I had Rock Hudson, so...
Norm MacDonald was, in fact, his self-described deeply closeted gay man.
I'm a deeply closeted gay man.
You're a gay man?
I'm not gay!
I said I'm deeply closeted.
Point to Mr.
Knowles.
So you're saying he was a gay guy?
Well, I said he ascribed himself.
No, he said deeply closeted.
Deeply closeted, yes.
I'm hoping our producers are keeping score in my ear because I'm just kind of throwing out points left and right.
Next up.
I'm up 3-2.
I'm up 3-2.
Yeah, I think Ben's up by one.
Keep going.
Of course Ben was counting.
Yep.
Next up.
History repeats itself first as tragedy, second as farce.
Ben, who you got?
I had Nietzsche, but I think it's wrong.
Michael?
I believe it is Marks and Engels.
And the reason I say Marks and Engels is I think Engels actually said it first.
We've got Karl Marx, so we are going to give you the point on that, unless Ben can make a compelling argument otherwise.
No, I cannot.
I cannot make a compelling argument.
That's okay.
I mean, that's the first time I've ever heard Ben say that.
That saddens me that I didn't get that.
That is a blown opportunity.
I mean, in fairness, it just means that you haven't been keeping up on your Marx, which probably is for the betterment of your soul.
He has been keeping up on his Old Testament though, which is true for the betterment of his soul as well.
Next up.
More important.
Yeah, exactly.
Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people.
it is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.
Who we got?
I'm going to say that it is the man who conservatives quote 50,000 times a day with that exact line, John Adams.
Point to both of you.
Well done.
There was never any question there for either of you.
There was no suspense.
I don't want to build suspense where there is none.
No, that was an easy one.
We'll move on to the next.
Politics is the ability to foretell...
Quote some Locke and Knowles is in trouble.
Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.
A little more suspense here.
Ben, what do you got?
Yeah.
I had Churchill, but this is another one where I'm just not sure.
I went with a different Marx.
I went with Groucho Marx on this one.
That is incorrect, but Ben does get a point.
It was Churchill.
That's awful.
I'm back in the red.
If my eyes could show my soul, everyone would cry when they saw me smile.
Again, if my mother is watching this, it's not a cry for help.
That is a quote from a famous dead guy.
Michael, we'll start with you.
I'm going with the Marquis de Sade.
There's one person who's going to laugh at that joke, and that would happen to be Ben Shapiro.
Everyone answer?
It's okay.
Yeah.
Ben, who do you got?
That is true.
Well, actually, Clayton would have laughed at that joke.
Okay.
And I have Proust, mainly because I have not, nor will I ever read Proust.
This was a little bit of a trick question.
It was actually Kurt Cobain.
Oh, Kurt Cobain.
Got it.
I was much closer than you.
Actually, was I that much?
Oh, yeah.
Up for debate.
On second thought, yeah.
Next up.
"To write well, express yourself like the common people, but think like a wise man." Michael, you're so confident.
Let's let you go first.
Obviously.
Who does this describe?
Donald Trump.
There's no question.
Next one.
Next question.
Ben, what do you make of that and what did you answer?
I went with his ancients equivalent.
Plato.
Ben was much closer.
It was actually Aristotle.
We keep dancing around the old Greeks.
I know.
Ah, we keep dancing.
Yeah.
Wrong Greeks, man.
I think Donald Trump would be very flattered by that, Michael.
Or maybe he wouldn't be flattered.
Who knows?
We'll find out on Twitter.
One of our producers came up with a friendly reminder just now that Trump is not dead, so you're forgetting the premise of the game, Michael.
That's true.
Ineligible.
That's a good point.
Next up...
But Joe Biden is eligible, so that's good news.
Next up...
I cannot help it.
I want to be a good Catholic, but I'm a hedonist.
Hmm...
I will be very impressed.
No fair writing Martin Luther, Michael.
I know.
I cannot help it.
I want to be a good Catholic, but I am a hedonist.
This is another shot in the dark.
Ben, who are we putting down here?
Well, it's wrong, but it's true.
Several popes in the Middle Ages.
Several.
Hey, that's certainly an understatement.
That's certainly undercounting.
Michael?
I put down...
And this is just because he was a hedonist and he gets quoted a lot.
Oscar Wilde?
I do appreciate both of your answers.
We're putting the man who lived down by the river, Mr.
Chris Farley.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Wow.
Yeah, I was not going to get that.
And they're really testing y'all's knowledge here.
Wow, yeah.
I really like what this game...
That was out of the box.
I like that the producers chose quotes that are not in any way well-known.
That's great.
I'm glad they did that.
Right.
That's the best part, is they just sort of randomly opened books.
And it was like, they had a book on their shelf, and it was like Chris Farley's autobiography.
Yeah.
And then they just picked a random sentence, and they're like, okay, we'll put this one out there.
This is a quote.
Yeah.
I would like to take credit for any quotes you guys like and get correct, and any that you've never heard of.
That was the producers, they put those in.
And we will move on.
A man has free choice to the extent that he is rational.
Are there repeats?
There are not.
You may offer repeat answers, but there are not repeat correct answers.
A man has free choice to the extent that he is rational.
Mr.
Shapiro, who said that?
I'm going to say Descartes.
Knowles?
I wanted to go a little more old school.
I suggested St.
Thomas Aquinas.
Very impressive.
Michael Knowles, that is correct.
Hey, alright!
There are too many Catholics on this list.
This is not...
This is not okay.
It was one of those...
Only one Jew and many Catholics.
You know, all of the Enlightenment guys, they liked rationalism a lot, too.
But people forget those old-school medieval scholastics.
They liked their reason.
All right.
So is this tied?
It's tied now?
Yes, we are tied.
Oh, man.
It was intense.
Okay.
I have high hopes for both of you guys on this one.
Every man has a property in his own person.
This nobody has a right to but himself.
Hmm, sounds like some kind of, like, some kind of, like, lib stuff.
Hold on.
This is definitely not St.
Thomas Aquinas.
Uh, trying to see how many letters Ben is writing there.
Mmm, uh...
Mmm.
Michael, are you done?
Yeah, like, sure, whatever.
I'm so divided here.
Let's hear it.
I'm so divided.
Locke?
I don't know.
Is it Locke?
Ben?
I also said Locke.
And you also are correct.
You're both right.
John Locke.
Wow.
Oh, man.
I was literally looking.
I was like, did Ben write five letters?
Did he write five letters or only four?
Do you feel lucky, punk?
Yeah, exactly.
There was no luck.
That was all skill.
Just like your skill, Michael, at reading some fantastic ads.
And I believe that you have a great ad that we need to hear about.
Thank you very much.
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One thing that's not clean are some of these quotes that I have been given to read.
Mainly this next one.
Again, these are not my words.
I love it when you call me Big Papa.
Mm-hmm.
I will add also that Papa is P-O-P-P-A. If that is helpful at all.
Oh, okay.
I love it when you call me Big Papa.
This sounds like right in my wheelhouse.
Right here.
I think I'm ready.
Alright, Ben.
Let's see who you got.
Biggie.
Smokin' Blunts was a daily routine since 13.
A chubby fella on the scene by the name of Biggie Smalls.
Both very well done, gentlemen.
I would say you guys know your music.
Wow!
I pulled that one.
I did not expect to get that one right.
I got Locke and you got Biggie.
That is well outside my wheelhouse.
This is impressive.
Now, Ben, is Biggie a musical artist or is he a poet?
What do we consider him?
I assumed it was his given name.
Yeah.
That his mother, he came out of his mother and she said, Behold, I shall call him Begin.
Moving on.
Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Michael, who'd you put?
I don't know, like Shakespeare.
I'm surprised by that one.
Ben.
Ben.
I said John Stuart Mill.
That is actually Solomon.
King Solomon.
King Solomon.
Oh.
I should have known that one.
Well, that's...
I mean, since Shakespeare probably wrote the KJ. They nailed you with Proverbs.
Proverbs 2017.
Proverbs.
Or 2717, I should have known.
Proverbs is so difficult to read, man.
In Hebrew, it's Mishle, and it is rough to read.
It has so many great quotes, but they're all juxtaposed with one another in bizarre order, and so there's no through line.
So everybody knows three quotes from Proverbs, but nobody actually knows how they fit together.
Proverbs is also one where I guess I could probably tell you a bunch of it, but I could never tell you where it is, or the numbers, or really anything.
It's all just kind of like a...
Yeah, that's right.
I smell a new show, like an Old Testament survey course taught by you two.
Ratings would be through the roof.
That's what the youths are after these days.
I would rather be stricken blind than to live without expression of mind.
I would rather be stricken blind than to live without expression of mind.
Ben.
Keats, because it rhymes.
Knowles.
I said Shakespeare because it rhymes.
And one of these has to be Shakespeare, right?
I mean, a Shakespeare of the 20th century.
This was Mr.
Tupac Shakur.
Damn, I almost wrote Tupac as a joke.
That's frustrating.
See, this has been actually accidentally giving credit to Tupac for being a brilliant lyricist.
It is.
It is.
He is the modern day Keats.
That's exactly right.
Next up, you were not made to live like brute beasts, but to pursue virtue and knowledge.
We've got a standoff.
I think they're both looking at the camera to see how many letters are being written by the other.
Michael, who'd you put?
Okay.
St.
Augustine.
Sounds kind of Augustinian.
Ben?
I also thought about Augustine, but we actually have not hit Plato yet, right?
We got Aristotle, who actually was correct, but we haven't actually gotten...
This was a tough one.
This was actually Dante.
Dante, really?
Yes!
Oh!
You've read him in the original Italian.
That's why he didn't recognize it.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, I'm not familiar with him.
If he was an Italian, he would have been good.
If...
You were not made to live, like, pursue virtue and knowledge.
I guess I, like, vaguely...
Yeah, all right, well.
Ah, darn, now I... Ah, man, I was really hoping to have an advantage on the Dante quote.
This whole thing is like the seventh circle of hell.
Do we have a score update?
Ben, are you still keeping score, producers?
What's the score right now?
No, I lost it a while ago.
I think I'm behind.
I think it's even right now.
It is.
What is it?
I don't know.
7-7.
We've got a tie ball game heading into this final stretch.
It's been even for a while.
None of us have gotten one right in a long stretch here.
Next up.
We must reject the idea that every time a law is broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker.
It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
There are like four people I'm thinking of right now.
This was another tough one.
This was one of the more...
maybe unpopular of this person's.
Michael, who'd you guess?
Oh, okay.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
He gave a clue.
That's some Bushley.
Yeah, he gave a clue.
Right there.
I thought the answers were final.
Oh, wait.
My conscience is clear.
I can't see that either.
That guy's still alive.
Hold on.
Here we go.
Oh, I know who you were thinking of for that one.
Yeah, you do, don't you?
Let's see.
You know what's funny?
That guy's alive, too.
I was thinking of him, too, and I also forgot that he was still alive.
Yep.
How do you both know who the other is talking about by being this vague?
We're a little bit on a wavelength right here, Cabot.
And that wavelength is hopping over the center of this screen.
All right, can we do it now?
Can we show this?
Yes, you can.
All right, okay fine.
What do you have?
I think it was Reagan.
Ben?
I had written Reagan, but then I changed it to LBJ because Cabot suggested it was surprising.
You always gotta trust your gut, Ben.
This was Reagan.
Yes.
Oh, you cheated me.
I literally wrote Ronaldus Maximus, and then I erased it because you wouldn't shut your face, Cabot.
Oh, that's such...
Never be led astray by the host.
Oh, man.
How did I lead you astray?
God bless it.
That's like...
Wow.
You said this was one of his less popular stances.
Are you kidding?
That's what won Ronald Reagan the presidency.
When you said it's one of his less popular stances, I immediately assumed that it was somebody of the left.
Did you mean a less popular quote?
I meant a less popular quote of his, where if people are quoting Ronald Reagan, typically that's not the one they're quoting.
You're like, The real reason I do this is because Michael is actually three doors down from me.
Ben, you are three states down from me, so I'm more scared of one than the other.
That's true.
Now, the difference is I don't sign the paychecks.
I may have miscalculated this.
I told you this was a lose-lose.
I would both lose to Michael and continue to sign him paychecks.
And now sign a paycheck to a corrupt host who's been bought off by the sweater vest wearing jackass down the hall from him.
Man, I was so going to complain if Ben went from the wrong answer to the right answer on that, but now, that's the way the rules work?
That's fine.
Okay, we're good.
I was led astray.
The proverbial cookie has crumbled.
Watch the tape, go back, and you can see my hand move as I write Ronald as Maximus and then erase the answer.
Oh, well.
Okay.
I'm going to move on before I actually do get fired.
Always do sober what you said you would do drunk.
That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Always do sober what you said you would do drunk.
That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
and I'm gonna keep my mouth shut and not offer any clues.
I really do.
Yeah, I... Looks like we got our answers in.
Hold on.
Ben, I did not give him a clue.
He is erasing this of his own will and volition.
I know, I know.
That wasn't you.
That wasn't you.
Okay.
All right.
I'm so frustrated.
Michael, who'd you switch to?
So initially I said George Burns because I could kind of picture the quote with him smoking a cigar or whatever.
But I changed it to Chesterton because I assume Chesterton's going to show up at some point since he produced half of the quotes in the English language.
Ben?
I said Al Capone.
I wish I could give that half point.
This was actually Hemingway.
Hemingway.
Okay, that's fair enough.
He never took the advice, but yeah, that's good to know that he at least understood.
Well, I mean, he had no choice.
He was always drunk.
That's true.
He never had to do anything.
Yep, that's true.
Next up is the shortest quote of our list.
It is simply, hee hee.
H-E-E. What was it?
H-E-E. H-E-E. Hee hee.
I'll read in a different tone.
Hee hee.
That's it.
That's the quote.
Could you keep saying it, Cabot?
No, I'm a little worried about what that might evoke in the comment section, so I'm not going to do any more of those.
But do we have any guesses?
Ben, we'll start with you.
The Joker.
Close.
Pretty close.
I'm going to say...
Shimona!
Michael Jackson.
It is Mr.
Michael Jackson.
Yep.
Thank you.
I didn't know at first, but the read really helped, Cabot.
That one goes to the appellate court.
I'm sorry.
That is the thing that the Joker also says.
That is not...
Michael, you won that, but really everyone lost for having to hear me say hee-hee repeatedly.
Yeah, that's true.
The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.
Ben is writing a paragraph over there.
I gotta see this.
Ben, what'd you put?
Nicole Hannah-Jones.
And it's a playbook, not a...
It's prescriptive, actually.
Right, actually.
I, having never read...
Almost anything this man has written, I decided to say Solzhenitsyn because I could hear Jordan Peterson quoting that as a quote from Solzhenitsyn.
Is this just you wanting to show to everyone that you know how to spell Solzhenitsyn?
That was a stab in the dark, too.
That was definitely, probably some vowels out of place.
This was actually George Orwell.
Orwell, yeah, okay.
Oh.
Fair enough.
Considering I had that book club on him last month, that's it, that's it.
The great part about being a host, which I'm learning that you guys must get to feel every day, is the feeling of superiority because I get to pretend like I already knew the answer to all of these things when in reality the producers are just telling me in my ear.
So it's a nice feeling.
Next quote.
Lies, damned lies, and statistics.
They're not giving you guys a lot of context here.
They're just giving you those five words.
I mean, it's been quoted by...
Zillions of people.
Everyone.
Yeah.
Every human.
Yeah.
Michael?
Mark Twain?
And Ben?
Yeah, he's correct.
That's right.
I put Disraeli, but it is Twain.
We've got Mark Twain on here, so Michael, we'll give you another point there.
Disraeli, though.
I wonder if...
Disraeli's got some good quotes, too.
That's a good one to throw in the noggin if he might show up in the rest of this game.
I'm blowing this, man.
This month's book is Adventures of Huck Finn.
Really?
I'm blowing it.
Yeah, I'm completely blowing it.
I'll admit that it's not in Huck Finn, though.
Brevity.
Michael's now running away with this thing.
Michael is running away with this thing.
I've got a little bit of a lead here.
I didn't want to give a score update because I didn't want to appear to be rubbing it in.
Yeah, it's like 10-7 or something.
It got brutal here.
Maybe, Ben, I'll remind you of what's at stake and this will motivate a comeback.
You will have to film and record a plug on your own show to listen to Michael's show if you lose.
And vice versa.
So just a reminder, what's at stake?
To be frank, I do that pretty much every day and it never helps.
So we'll just keep doing it.
It never helps and it always hurts.
It always just digs right into your...
Okay.
Well, if you don't want to give it to Michael, you can just plug Morning Wire and we'll call it even on that.
And that's...
What do you think I did this morning?
All right.
Anyway.
Next up.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
Oh, there we go.
Michael, it's all you, man.
You've been waiting for this one.
I've been waiting for this one.
It's kind of a trick.
It's kind of a trick question.
Why is that?
And explain your answer.
Let's see it, Michael.
Well, I actually have to write it down, though, like the real one that I'm going to get credit for.
Okay.
It's really, you know, everyone says it's Shakespeare, but it's really, really Polonius who says it.
His character in Hamlet.
Mmm.
Yeah.
Do I get bonus points?
As clearly neither of you were surprised.
Well done.
Yep.
Next up.
In individuals, insanity is rare, but in groups, parties, nations, in epochs, it is the rule.
Do we say epochs, epochs, epochs?
What do we say there?
I say epoch.
But I don't know.
Some say Tupac.
Exactly.
Do we have an answer here?
Can you read the quote again, Kevin?
I'll read it again.
In individuals, insanity is rare, but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs, it is the rule.
Ben, you've got a smile.
Let's see it.
Well, I mean, I'm just going to crib off of Michael here and I'm going to say Solzhenitsyn this time.
I too said Solzhenitsyn this time.
I sort of thought it might be Spengler, but then I thought, I was like, there's no way they looked up Spengler.
Yeah, there's no way they're quoting Spengler.
No way.
Or Toynbee or something.
Yeah, no way.
This one was Nietzsche.
Nietzsche!
I was like, I thought it sounded too lucid to be Nietzsche.
Should have gotten that.
Should have gotten that.
I know.
As soon as you mentioned madness, two out of three shot, it's a Nietzsche quote.
Yeah, it's true.
It was just, it was somewhat understandable, which is why I assumed there was no way it could be Nietzsche, but okay.
Okay.
Ben, you're going to have to make a comeback here.
You've got four quotes left to mount a seemingly insurmountable.
At least we'll be done.
Quote, as the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.
Doesn't that sound nice?
As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.
Man, I have heard this quote.
This is incorrect, but I'm just going to write it anyway, because whatever, man.
It's over.
Alright, I'm just going to...
It should have been this guy, but it isn't.
Michael, we'll start with you.
I'm still stabbing at my Chesterton.
It's not Chesterton, because it's not funny enough.
Ben?
Daniel Patrick Moynihan.
This was Pope John Paul II. Pope John Paul II. Oh, yeah, he was a good pope.
I like that pope.
This one.
Well, which one, though, is the real question.
When they say this one, people say which one.
Okay, all right.
I should have gotten that one.
Everyone thinks of changing the world.
This one's like the family of animals is...
This one's like the family of trees is the foundation of...
I'll give you 30 seconds if you want the floor just to bash the Pope.
I mean, that's...
Absolutely, that would be...
Oh, I mean, I think we're all on board with this.
No, you know how the Catholics do it, though.
Because you have to be obedient, so you're like, well, you know, I just think it might be, like, in a very respectful...
You might be preaching a heresy, Papa Francesco.
But you gotta do it, like, really nice, you know?
It was all mistranslated.
It's all mistranslated.
Everything he says is mistranslated.
Every single thing.
He's actually speaking French.
Well, that's the problem.
You can't get an Italian...
Right, yeah.
Next up, everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
Hmm.
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
I was gonna say Michael Jackson quoting from Man in the Mirror, but there's no repeats.
Hmm.
Mike.
Alright, Ben, who'd you go with?
I said C.S. Lewis.
Again, wrong, but it's okay.
Yeah, I said Gandhi.
Also probably wrong.
We've got Tolstoy here.
Tolstoy, okay.
Yeah, that's definitely...
Did Tolstoy ever consider his own advice, or no?
Did he...
Yeah, seriously.
I don't know.
It's like another Hemingway-type quote.
Two more, just for...
The winner might be decided, but this is for pride.
So you could tie it up.
This is gonna be a bonus question.
We might give double points for this one because I'll be very impressed.
Hold on a second here.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark.
Just to rig this thing.
The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark.
The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
Hmm.
I feel like this entire game was just the entire book of Bartlett's quotations.
The entire book.
All 800 pages was the length of this game.
Michael!
Okay, fine.
This time I'll do Chesterton.
I did Lewis, and my B suggestion was Tolkien.
The one time you didn't guess Play-Doh, it was Play-Doh.
Oh, it was Play-Doh.
I kind of thought it was Chesterton.
I guess that would kind of make sense with Play-Doh.
And we are down to our final question.
He did love light.
Yeah, he did love light.
Our final question, our final quote is this.
Poor kids are just as smart as white kids.
And only dead people, right?
Right.
I'll leave that up to the producers who chose this.
Michael Knowles.
One of the true wits and philosophers of our age.
President Brandon.
Come on, man!
Ben?
Joseph R. McBiden face.
Wow.
Well done, both of you.
Well done.
I'm not sure what qualifies as dead, but we now know that the Daily Wire host who can quote the most dead men accurately is Michael Knowles.
Michael, would you like to...
How would you like to accept this?
I tell you, I have not been nervous about these games before, but this is not just flattery.
This is no false modesty.
This is a man who knows a lot of dead people, but there were some crucial errors here and lapses in Ben's education, namely Michael Jackson and a handful of others as well.
So I accept this with humility and a great deal of joy.
Well, you know, all I can say is that, unlike Naturally It's Clean, this competition was not in fact clean.
And I hereby challenge the Vice President of the United States, Mike Pence, to overturn the results of this contest.
And I believe that there will be a very big rally, a very big rally, peacefully congregate near Michael Knowles' office.
I can hear...
And peacefully protest at Michael Knowles' office.
Pardons available later.
I hear the door, people are banging on the doors.
I hear facts don't care about your Michael.
This could be very scary.
I'm just stuck in between two men.
All I'm saying is I'm with you.
I'm with you.
You're great people.
You're all very good people.
Very special.
Go on home.
You're very great people.
You can go on home.
Unlike the vice president, I don't have the power to overturn this competition, unfortunately.
I've read the Constitution thoroughly.
It was not there.
I read the trivia bylaws.
Again, it was not there.
I'm sorry.
I must let this stand.
But before I let this stand, Ben, we're going to have you go ahead and just off the top, I want it to come from the heart, your 30-second pitch.
Michael, sit back and enjoy.
If you wish to hear a man far too educated for his meager lot in life speak to you of dead people and their quotes, then make sure to check out The Michael Knowles Show, a repository of other people's wisdom and also a host who says things sometimes.
On that show, you will hear alleged humor.
You will hear verbiage in the form of English sentences sometimes.
And you'll hear much snobbery.
There'll be a lot of talk about cigars.
There'll be a bizarre sort of smarminess that you can't seem to shake.
But if you enjoy all of those things, then the Michael Moles Show is for you.
Congratulations to the most humble of our hosts, the most generous of spirit, the least corrupt, A person I'm so glad to employ every single day.
Michael X Knowles.
Thank you, Ben.
I'm honored.
I am going to make that my new logline of the show, I think.
The Michael Knowles Show, a suppository of knowledge.
Thank you.
That's awesome.
We're going to leave it there before it gets any weirder.
I will say I'm impressed.
That was well over 30 seconds.
That's just Ben going above and beyond.
Very kind of him.
He's a generous and charitable man.
And you are a generous and charitable man, Michael, for letting me call myself a host on the show, which you host.
I very much appreciate both of you for joining the Trivia Challenge and everyone for watching.
I'm Cabo Phillips, joined by Mr.
Michael Knowles, Mr.
Ben Shapiro.
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