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March 27, 2021 - The Michael Knowles Show

14:51

How "BASED" Are You? | Conservative Tier RANKING

Today we will rank conservative stereotypes to find out how "Based" you really are. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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	How conservative are you?
	This is sometimes a question that people, they write in, they ask, they wonder, what is the scale?
	What are the gradations?
	A based tier ranking, to use the lingo of the Utes.
	Well, I've got the definitive ranking.
	We put that out on YouTube.
	But just so that all of you out there in podcast land do not miss out on this very scientific study, take a listen to the based tier ranking of how conservative you are.
	More and more people are waking up to the woke left-wing madness.
	Because of this, maybe you now believe or have even done something that the Utes in their right-wing lingo might call based.
	This can be a very confusing event for people who thought that they were liberal.
	So I am here to help you sort it all out.
	And help you see where you land.
	Are you conservative curious?
	Or are you a full-blown, knuckle-dragging, salt-sewing, red-pilled, based conservative?
	Other people use rankings like S tier, A tier, B tier.
	We've got very different categories.
	The lowest tier of basedness is you think men are not women.
	That's kind of entry level.
	The next level, you secretly voted for Trump in 2020.
	You're a little more committed, but you know, you kind of keep your head down.
	You don't want to make too much noise.
	In the third tier, you're pretty bought in.
	You can't help but make comments now and again that get you in trouble.
	This is where your blue-haired cousin doesn't talk to you anymore.
	At the next level, you flaunt your patriotism.
	You are like the Florida man who waved an American flag in a hurricane, which is actually a violation of flag code, but your heart's in the right place.
	And then finally, the S tier, the top, baster than Genghis Khan, which is when you're already banned on every social media platform.
	Those are the five categories.
	Men are not women.
	Secretly voted for Trump.
	Blue hairs won't talk to you.
	Hurricane flag.
	Social media exile.
	Let's get started.
	Wearing a MAGA hat out in public.
	So obviously it's past the second tier.
	The second tier is you secretly voted for Trump.
	Now you're at the, your blue hair cousin won't speak to you anymore.
	Are you all the way up to waving a flag in a hurricane?
	Probably not.
	You know, Trump did win the election.
	Malarkey.
	Certainly won the election the first time, and a whole lot of people voted for him the second time.
	70 million?
	More than 70 million?
	Who knows?
	So I think you're probably at...
	Your blue-haired cousin won't speak to you, but you're not yet at the point where you're risking life and land to waive old glory.
	You got the Don't Tread on Me bumper sticker.
	Okay, this is actually kind of a surprising one.
	I'm going to say...
	I'm going to say it's the same level.
	It's more commitment.
	The don't tread on me is pretty hardcore.
	You're saying, I don't just want to go back to good old America, but I want to go all the way back to that kind of revolutionary spirit, 1776 baby.
	But it's also appropriated by a lot of libertarians, some people who don't necessarily love Trump, but they're very ideological.
	So I'm going to say this is still not quite waving the flag in the hurricane, but your blue-haired cousin definitely does not like you.
	Applied to joint Space Force.
	Now you're getting a little bit higher up here.
	You probably haven't been banned on all the social media platforms because I assume you'll need some internet access to apply to Space Force.
	But if you're willing to launch yourself into the cold abyss for the glory of your country in a department that was started by Donald Trump, you would wave a flag in a hurricane.
	You've got the American flag emoji in your Twitter handle.
	Okay, if you've got the flag emoji in your Twitter handle, you definitely voted for Trump and that is public.
	So now you're definitely past the first two tiers.
	Are you willing to wave the flag in...
	A hurricane?
	Maybe, maybe not.
	Are you banned on social media?
	Obviously not, because you still have a Twitter handle.
	So I'm going to peg this conservatively at, you know, you're willing to signal the flag.
	You're willing to wave the flag on social media, which can be very dangerous these days.
	I'm not sure if you're willing to do it in the hurricane, so your blue-haired cousin does not like you.
	You can name all of the American presidents.
	That just makes you a nerd.
	That does not make you conservative, necessarily.
	I guess if you have any even relatively strong grasp of American history, I guess by definition that makes you conservative in this day and age.
	But this is a little bit lower.
	I mean, you know that men are not women, probably, if you can name all the presidents.
	Did you secretly vote for Trump?
	Yeah, yeah, you probably did.
	I'm not even totally willing to.
	I'd say this is kind of the first level.
	At the very least, you know, men are not women.
	You participate in the nose mask protest.
	Yeah, so this is, certainly you know men are not women.
	Certainly you know that you shouldn't wear filthy cloth on your face in public because that's disordered and you look like a lame bandito.
	It's a science experiment!
	Is that a category?
	Maybe not.
	You definitely secretly voted for Trump.
	I guess the question is, are you secretly voting for Trump or your blue-haired cousin won't speak to you anymore?
	I guess it depends if you have seen your blue-haired cousin with the face mask.
	Probably knowing your blue-haired cousin, she's not going to leave her apartment during this whole thing, unless it's to go to the dispensary or something.
	Probably this is you secretly voted for Trump, but you're not willing to wave that flag in the hurricane because you haven't even ripped the whole thing off yet.
	You're just kind of below here.
	You know, then you've got to start moving it down a little further.
	My favorite one is when you wear the mask on your chin.
	That's my favorite protest.
	You can sort of tell someone's politics by how low on their face they wear the mask.
	You are anti-mask.
	So this just means that you have two brain cells to rub together, actually.
	So yeah, you're a little bit conservative here.
	You don't want to let the exalted Dr.
	Fauci run roughshod over our entire country and civilization.
	Here we go again.
	So you know that men are not women, for sure.
	Did you secretly vote for Trump?
	Yeah, I guess you did.
	Does your blue-haired cousin hate you?
	She does, yeah.
	Would you wave the flag in the hurricane?
	Well, it depends.
	Like, are you saying you're so anti-mask that you wouldn't wear it even if the cops are yelling at you that you're going to get arrested on an airplane or something?
	If that's the case, then obviously, you know, you're going way up the chain.
	But if you're just, generally speaking, anti-mask, probably just, you know, you're at the phase where the blue hairs don't like you very much.
	The Patriot is your favorite movie.
	You know?
	The Patriot's an excellent movie.
	Some people think it's a little overwrought, but it's a great movie.
	You obviously know that men are not women.
	You obviously voted for Trump, at least secretly.
	You might be able to play it safe enough that you stay on social media, that you don't get blown away in a hurricane, and that your cousin still will come to dinner with you.
	So I'm going to say, you know, it's good.
	You've got great taste in movies, though you should check out other great movies like, I don't know, Me, Myself, and Irene, or other sort of brilliant, brilliant films.
	But still, Patriot, very good movie.
	This is where you secretly voted for Trump.
	Okay, you actively discriminate against French people.
	This should be the default setting of all Americans and really all civilized people.
	Ah!
	I'm not even sure this means that you secretly voted for Trump.
	I think this is an even more basic, common-sense position than that.
	Your goldfish is named Goldwater.
	You're pretty committed.
	So you secretly voted for Trump, for sure.
	Well, this is tricky, because there's a kind of group of conservatives, kind of like the never-Trumpers, who are like, oh yeah, man, if I lived back in the Barry Goldwater days, I would have totally been conservative.
	Oh, yeah, if I lived back in the Reagan days, I would have been totally conservative.
	But now they're just like super squishy and liberal.
	You know, they're like, I'm a conservative, but not that kind of conservative.
	And they basically hide in the sort of halcyon conservative days of the past rather than having the courage to fight the actual battles we're in now.
	So I'm actually going to peg that one down a little bit.
	You know that men are not women.
	Maybe you did not secretly vote for Trump.
	You still want Jane Fonda tried for treason.
	Yeah, baby.
	Now we're talking.
	It's based.
	You definitely voted for Trump, but not secretly.
	You did it publicly.
	Your cousin does not talk to you.
	You may be banned from social media.
	If you say things like, we need to try her.
	Because also, you know, punishment for treason is like not...
	It's a little tricky.
	so yeah you you're probably banned from social media for that you're you're because you know you're going to hear a lot of people say like we we want to hear all opinions it's totally cool that jane fonda was sitting at an anti-aircraft gun in vietnam yeah no that's great all the marketplace of ideas or something uh no no it's not she should definitely definitely not have been permitted to do that you're getting banned from social media if you're if you're espousing that view too publicly You own a firearm.
	Yeah, so great.
	Great.
	Great picture, too.
	Is that my blue-haired cousin?
	No.
	Definitely not.
	Definitely not.
	You own a firearm.
	You know that men are not women.
	You definitely secretly voted for Trump.
	But the thing about firearms is, like voting for Trump, you can do it in secret.
	I know a lot of people who will come up to me.
	You know, they kind of play nice.
	They're sort of friends with lots of liberals, and they get invited to liberal parties.
	But secretly, you know, they're Second Amendment supporters.
	You open carry for no reason whatsoever.
	Yeah, that's a little bit higher up the chain for sure.
	You probably would wave the flag in the hurricane at that moment when you've just got that gun on your hip just to say, damn it, I'm proud to be an American.
	You're getting out there with all glory, no doubt.
	You believe Nixon did nothing wrong.
	This just means that you're smart and reasonable and you don't get tricked by the liberal media, okay?
	You would wave the flag in the hurricane at that point, for sure.
	Would you be banned from social media?
	Yeah, like maybe.
	Because you're...
	To recognize that Richard Nixon basically just got ousted because subversives actually in the deep state never forgave him for going after the communist Alger Hiss, which is really what this whole thing was about.
	If you recognize that, then you probably challenge a lot of the mainstream narrative surrounding our politics.
	So I'm going to say you might be banned on social media.
	You're veering between either waving the flag or an outright ban, depending on how flamboyant you are in your correct views.
	Blocked by celebrities on Twitter.
	These days you need to sneeze to get blocked by celebrities on Twitter.
	You know that men are not women.
	That's about all it takes.
	That's like the basic level.
	Getting blocked by these very trigger-happy celebrities.
	You cut your hair at great clips.
	I don't know if I can quite capture the political significance of that.
	I'm not sure that you even need to know that men are not women to get your hair cut at Great Clips.
	I think this is going to be a special secret tier that's not in our five tiers.
	This tier is right below you knowing that men are not women.
	This is one where you just like a great deal.
	And you know, I think everybody can enjoy a great deal, even the libs.
	You bought GameStop stock and still haven't sold.
	Deep effing value is what you are, to quote a very famous Reddit user.
	I mean, you're waving that flag in the hurricane, no doubt.
	And I guess, actually, if you're one of the...
	If you are...
	Deep F'ing Value, which is the name of one of these very famous users.
	You're definitely getting banned on social media websites, right?
	I mean, you are...
	Reddit went after these guys.
	Twitter went after these guys.
	Everybody was going after the Wall Street bets guys who were pumping up GameStop to put the hedge funds that were short GameStop, put the squeeze on them, and make a ton of money making fun of Wall Street.
	So that's pretty strong.
	I guess that's the top tier.
	You post all lives matter on BLM videos.
	That's good.
	So it's not just saying all lives matter.
	That would just be like you secretly voted for Trump.
	This is a little more provocative because you're going to the BLM videos.
	Definitely your blue-haired cousin doesn't talk to you.
	And you would wave the flag in the hurricane because if you're doing that kind of stuff, you are putting yourself in physical danger just as you would if you were waving the flag in the hurricane.
	Are you banned from social media?
	Well, if you're still posting on those videos, I guess you're not banned yet.
	So I would say you're at the hurricane level.
	Your boat sank at a Trump rally.
	Yeah, my favorite Trump rallies are the ones in Newport Beach on Duffy boats where it's just lots of great middle-aged conservatives waving those flags.
	I guess you're waving the flag in the hurricane.
	I mean, it's actually the best analogy to that scene because you are actually going down, drowning in physical danger while waving a flag.
	You've been featured in the comment of the day on The Michael Knowles Show.
	Man, that is getting into top tier.
	Let's see.
	If you're willing to be featured on my show, your cousin probably doesn't talk to you, would you wave the flag?
	Yeah, duh.
	Or are you banned from social media?
	Obviously not yet.
	Not yet is the answer.
	You're still at the fourth tier, but probably once you're featured on my show, then you might be booting up to the fifth tier.
	You're on thin ice, pal.
	You have a subscription to The Daily Wire.
	You know, I actually have to say, having a subscription to the Daily Wire, I think it used to be like you had to be the most knuckle-dragging Genghis Khan ever.
	But I am really pleased, as people are waking up to this insane woke culture, that more people in the middle, even some libs, are coming over.
	Because they realize that if they get their news from CNN and New York Times and Washington Post, they're just being lied to all the time.
	This is ridiculous!
	So I'm actually very pleased.
	You don't even think you needed to secretly vote for Trump.
	I think...
	As long as you can acknowledge very basic facts about the world, the sky is blue, two plus two is four, men are not women, if you're just at basic level, you can start to enter into that space.
	And then hopefully we at The Daily Wire will take you all the way down, all the way down the path to make you a full-fledged, knuckle-dragging conservative.
	Let me know in the comments section if you agree with my rankings.
	Let me know any other topics you want me to cover.

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