#693 I absolutley love a good Rick Roll, but when discussing the child sex trafficked and their ruined lives, this is not the time.
TODAY: we enter EPSTEIN: PHASE ONE and get so excited about the dark secrets probably to be revealed in the sequel that we forget information we previously had. AND: the House GOP dunk on those foolish enough to have believed them about releasing the files with some dank memetic warfare PLUS: Hitting your emo son or daughter--is it good to? The facebook comment section tackles an anti-spanking anthem from a high-minded emo(?) band. Get a bonus episode every week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month one week left to preorder merch at miniondeathcultmerch.bigcartel.com Music: MACINTOSH PLUS - 02 リサフランク420 - 現代のコンピュー Hella- Welcome to the Jungle Baby, Your Gonna Live!
Yeah, I need to be a little lame just to seem accessible.
Totally.
Seem like a normal person who sucks.
Are you ready to go?
The liberals are destroying California.
And conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned, guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when we're going to go to the desert.
Follow their environment, Houston.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
YouTube preventing the release of the Epstein files, the real files, from what I can tell, is responsible and we're documenting it.
What's up?
Welcome to this very important episode, everybody.
I'm so glad we were able to all...
Be here today to discuss some incredible news.
One of my favorite news stories, I think, ever.
One of my favorite days on Twitter in a very long time.
And I'm, of course, speaking about the Epstein Files Phase 1. This picture is incredible.
See, we didn't even know, Tony.
We thought that the Trump administration was just going to release everything and just let us know from top to bottom what's going on.
And sure, we might have liked that, but it wouldn't have been the best thing for us, right?
True, true.
Like, we won't be able to handle it.
We wouldn't be able to handle it.
We would also, like, you know how the American mind is?
We would stop paying attention after the first day.
Okay, we got all the information.
Now we're bored.
Give me another TikTok video.
Right?
I've been thinking that, like, politics needs to take a piece from, you know, like, television.
And we need to do more cliffhangers.
That's what I'm saying, dude.
We need to be more, like, next time on the Epstein Files release.
We need that.
Well, the thing is, we know it's one big show.
That's right.
We've been telling people to sit back and enjoy the show for years now.
And have you?
Yes.
Absolutely.
It's been so enjoyable.
Yeah, this is the obvious conclusion that they were going to do.
This was the season one finale.
Yeah, clearly.
What did you think was going to happen?
Did you think...
Did you think they were going to just not have anything worth tuning in for next season?
No.
No way.
No way.
I mean, this is what we're here for.
You guys are watching Severance?
That's nothing.
Baby shit.
What do you think Trump's Annie's doing right now?
You know, Trump's Annie has no idea that he's out here saving the world by slowly releasing this information.
Right.
Totally.
I watched that show, so I get that.
This photo is incredible.
Yeah, so Trump, you know, Trump has been saying, we're going to release the Epstein files, just like he's been saying, we're going to release the JFK files, just like he's been saying, we're going to release the UFO files.
And, you know, I keep getting so excited for it to happen, and it just, it never gets old.
You know, the excitement for it never gets old.
And I just, you know, Trump is like a master of, what is that called?
Like, I guess now the kids call it gooning.
But it used to be called tantric sex.
Yeah, yeah.
It used to be called sting-style sex.
And, you know, the climax is never going to be as good as the build-up.
No.
The precipice of pleasure, you know?
It's the journey, not the destination, you know?
So Trump, the Trump administration, in order to, I guess, I don't know.
What do you call it?
Reveal this to the American public in the most effective way possible.
Invited, like, the five worst Twitter accounts to the White House.
We got libs of TikTok here.
We got DC Drano.
That's this guy.
Yeah, I was like, who the fuck are these people?
We got Liz Wheeler right here who has the most incredible hairstyle I've ever seen.
It's so weird.
Remember the bumps that the girls have put in their hair on the back?
But she somehow has a center part down the middle and has a bump on each side.
Two bumps.
It really looks like a butt.
It looks like a platinum blonde version of Not even Elvira.
You know in the Looney Tunes cartoon where Bugs Bunny grooms the big red monster by combing down the hair, parting down the middle?
That's kind of what she looks like.
Exactly.
And then, of course, you have Mike Gorilla Brain Cernovich right behind her, living up to his name.
Hard to imagine a guy who looks more like a gorilla.
You know how they do that like, oh, what if Homer Simpson was a real guy, a real white guy?
That's like what they did to a gorilla to make Mike Cernovich.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's like, you don't expect words to come out of his mouth.
You're really just expensive, like a grunt.
So, they invited all these fucking rubes.
Did I say Libs of TikTok was here?
Yeah.
Talk about Phase 1. Just the worst...
You thought the other...
You thought...
You thought...
What was the sequel to The Avengers?
You thought Age of Ultron was bad.
Look at these Avengers right here.
You got a guy named after fucking Drain Cleaner.
Something like probably, I don't know, 100 to 500 Trump supporters drank after finding out what was in the Epstein files phase one.
Because right after this photo op where they're all waving the binders to the...
Photographers and journalists assembled by the Trump White House taking smiling, laughing, happy photos with these Epstein files, phase one documents.
We all found out that it's actually a redacted form of the files that were already released by Gawker years and years ago.
So it's like less information.
What a perfect metaphor for the Trump administration.
Like, erasing information from reality.
You know?
Just in, like, taking away knowledge.
Yeah, and like I said, isn't this information that we, like, did have access to at one point?
Right?
Yeah, that's what I just said.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's even less.
Seeing the pictures of the redacted forms are so funny.
It's the flight logs.
It's the flight logs that we already have, but they're redacted.
I saw a tweet that it was a picture of the flight logs with two big black blocks and it said, I thought that was two sheets of grip tape.
Because it does.
It looks like two sheets of skateboard grip tape.
It's insane.
It's so beautiful.
They look like they're leaving the merch table and they just got the limited vinyl that is only available at that show.
They literally have merch in their hands.
They all have multiple hats in their hands.
Yeah, it looks like they're walking away with a set list, but it was like a mass-produced set list that was laminated that they bought for like $50.
And the songs on the set list were redacted.
Someone needs to do the meme where they replace the binders with records.
With different bad records that they'd be holding.
Oh, cool.
You got a cheap-ass piece of lined notebook paper with a jelly pen on it.
With all of Helmsley's set list from when they were on tour for Stilicide or whatever.
Yeah, that's cool.
Mine actually has a fucking seal on it.
Mine actually has the White House seal on it.
Yeah, in your face.
Yeah, so when people found out what was actually in these Epstein files, these influencers had a bit of explaining to do.
Here's D.C. Drano's pinned tweet, which is not pinned anymore.
It was pinned for the first eight hours, and now it's all about Ukraine, it's all about Doge, any other of the more chaotic, fun elements of the Trump presidency.
When it was his pinned tweet, it said, siren emoji.
Today I met with President Trump, VP J.D. Vance, A.G. Pam Bondi, and FBI Director Cash Patel in the Oval Office.
They handed me a binder copy of the Epstein files.
This is the most transparent administration in American history.
Literally blotting out reality that we've all seen already.
The best part?
This is just the start.
And then he goes on to say, it's cut off here, but he goes on to say, A.G. Bondi has promised us even more files, and they're going to be good files, and they're going to be so incriminating.
It's just so amazing.
And this is, yeah, this is what we were talking about.
This is just the start.
This is just season one, folks.
Okay?
Come on.
Did you really think, did you really want the show to end?
You know, a lot of people would be out of work.
A lot of your favorite artists would be out of work if we canceled this show.
We all know that Prestige TV, the first season is to really get us involved.
I wasn't really familiar with DC Drano.
I wasn't familiar with this game.
And now I have that investment.
I hate him.
I want to watch him fail.
So I'm watching this whole thing.
Season 2 is going to be crazy.
And here he is, D.C. Drano, again, who quote tweets the press release that instantly disillusioned millions of Trump voters, and he says, I regret nothing.
Justice is coming for the Epstein pedos.
In Epstein Files, Phase 2, rollout, 2026 to 2030. Of course you regret nothing.
You got a couple free hats and a sick photo op.
Like, why would you regret anything?
Wow, Epstein Files Phase 2 has been released exclusively to Sabra, the Israeli Marvel superhero.
This is most notable for wanting to kill a Palestinian child before the whole cast is stopper.
Jeez.
Yeah, here's Mike Cernovich.
I don't respond to gossip usually.
He's above that, this fucking podcaster.
I don't respond to gossip usually.
We left a meeting.
It's a wall of cameras there for another event.
Caught us by surprise.
It was like a firing squad.
I am low-key.
Don't like people to know what I'm doing.
This guy has like 3 million Twitter followers.
He's acting like the problem here was that there were pictures taken of him.
Yeah, because he got caught in 4K smiling like a fucking goon waving around a redacted document that we all...
It's incredible.
I am low-key.
Don't like people to know what I'm doing.
Normally, I'm an introvert.
This is all just like, I don't really like the spotlight.
I don't really like being the center of attention or whatever.
I kind of try to do my own thing.
It's kind of like draining to have to do this work.
And then for everybody to get mad at me on top of that, why should I even bother?
It is funny because it does speak to the keyboard warrior mentality.
I get to post while my feet are kicked up, but I was in the public.
I was standing up, being seen, and they saw my gorilla face.
Real gorillas move in silence.
You know, I gotta say, it feels real good to do ape jokes about white people.
It feels nice.
Yeah.
No, yeah, you got a pass, Tony.
I'll give you a pass on that one.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And he goes on, was a WTF curb your enthusiasm moment?
Was not, quote, smiling.
I was just, I was like freaking Larry David, just like, what the heck?
You know what I mean?
I mean, just like, I got invited to the White House on the pretense that they were revealing all this classified information that regarded a national scandal that gets to the heart of, like, I don't know, corruption at the base of our entire system?
And then there were photographers out front?
What the hell?
It was like a firing squad is so crazy.
This guy has called for actual firing squads against politicians.
Listen, if it wasn't a photo, you would have seen me saying, this is bullshit.
The people have already seen these files.
I don't like this at all.
If it wasn't a photo, you would have heard that.
Cernovich also, in another tweet, said, We got the binder at noon.
SDNY. So that's a southern district of New York, the FBI district.
SDNY and FBI held back the real information.
See, Tony, that's what happened.
The Southern District of New York tricked the Trump administration and the FBI director into thinking they had the real Epstein files when they did it.
Which is like, that's a mistake that anybody can make.
I don't know what the Epstein files look like because I'm not a fucking pedophile.
Alright?
You know what I mean?
Oh, you're the expert?
Yeah, it takes one to fucking know one.
How would you know they're fake, hmm?
What do you have to hide?
Yeah, what's going on?
What's going on there?
Oh, you've seen the real?
Okay, that's weird.
That's weird that you've seen the real thing.
Super sus.
I feel like they're kind of blaming it on a printing error.
Like, no, no, no, he ordered.
He said he didn't give it.
I can't believe they gave us the wrong ones.
This is crazy.
I didn't want this.
Yeah, it's fucked up.
We thought we were getting the Epstein files and I ended up with the low main.
I fucking hate low main.
I would never order this shit.
I always hate it when I'm like, I don't know, are they the hard noodles or the soft noodles?
I don't know which one I want.
And then the last sentence is A.G. Bondi directed Kash Patel to start kicking ass.
So here we go, baby!
Yeah!
I'm fucking stoked because I had worries that Kash Patel wasn't going to kick ass, but now they've fucking activated him, bro.
His eyes are glowing red now.
Hey Cash, go kick some ass.
That's what he said.
We don't really know what that means yet, but it's going to happen.
Oh, you have a deep state?
We have a Cash Patel.
And I don't know if you've ever watched any Bollywood movies, but the way they kick ass in those movies, this is going to be something to pay attention to.
He might turn into a tiger at some point.
Do I break out his tongue?
Okay, Tony.
Indians aren't white.
So you can call Mike Cernovich a gorilla.
But I don't know if I'm saying this is what Mike Cernovich is saying.
I'm speaking from Mike Cernovich's point of view.
Not from my point of view.
I would never do that.
That's not in my wheelhouse.
Got it.
This is Mike Cernovich's point of view.
Sorry, I was confused.
I just, yeah, I saw Gorilla Mindset, and I just leapt to criticize.
I was just freestyling his comments, okay?
I was ad-libbing his comments.
And then if you go to Mike Sertovich's bio, the only thing in his bio says, I voted for this.
I respect it.
Just a living Fell For It Again award.
You know?
Is that a picture of him and his wife sitting so far away from each other?
I think they have a baby between them, which is often what happens in a marriage.
Oh, that's true.
The baby does come between you and the woman, you know?
You know, one of his foundational, one of Mike Cernovich's, one piece of his lore, is that he blamed feminism for his...
Divorce from his first wife, by which he means she was able to have a job and make, I think, like a million dollars on Wall Street and divorce his ass.
That's a good point.
And he got a fucking settlement out of it.
He got like a million dollar settlement or some shit from it.
Is he allowed to do that?
How was he a famous right-wing man when he got...
I guess it works whatever way you want it to, huh?
What are you talking about?
That should be like emasculating, right?
Yeah, he was humiliated by woke and by feminism.
Yeah.
He freely admits to that.
I mean, humiliation is like a fascist, you know, point of pride.
They love being humiliated.
They love to talk about how much they're humiliated and how everything is a humiliation ritual for them, which is extremely alpha.
It's incredible.
So yeah, Liz Wheeler tried to explain it.
Here she is posting a selfie.
After she already had the binder, after she had already left the White House, I got a binder of Epstein files.
Period.
Exclusive.
Period.
And that's not what exclusive means.
Again, we saw like five to ten other hideous influencers who got the same binder as you.
But yeah, in the wake of this, the House Judiciary GOP official account tweeted out, siren emoji, hashtag breaking, Epstein files released.
And they included a tiny URL link that is tinyurl.com slash Epstein files v2.
Like they made a link, what do you call it, like a custom link for Epstein files version 2. And when your grandma clicked on this or maybe your PTSD cousin clicked on this to discover who was behind the actual sickos, they got rickrolled.
They got rickrolled by the House Judiciary GOP. And forgive me if you're under 30 listening to this podcast because the rickroll is like a 25-year-old meme now at this point.
Easily, yeah.
Maybe you might remember, like, Darude Sandstorm.
It was like the precursor to the Darude Sandstorm joke, where you would just send anybody and everybody a link to Darude Sandstorm as a goof.
You'd pretend it was something else, and then it would just be this, like, what?
Like, chill wave car commercial music?
It would always be like...
Look at these sweet boobs.
And then you click on it and see sweet boobs.
And then it was actually Rick Ashley's song.
Right.
It was Never Gonna Give You Up, etc.
What an idea.
Man, what good political instincts these people have.
I don't know.
I'm just constantly reminded both...
By the people in charge of this right-wing movement and the people who follow the right-wing movement.
Like, how fucked they would be if they didn't have billions of dollars supporting this enterprise.
Yeah.
They didn't have billions and billions of dollars behind these insane political ideas.
You would think they would go extinct.
Incredible.
Hey, here are those files we've been promising.
Just kidding.
Psych.
Not even like we got fooled.
You got fooled.
It's funny because they could have linked it to a screen that says broken link, you know?
And that would have got them out of it, you know?
They just had to be funny about it.
I do think that I am disappointed in the community saying it.
Because it literally says the link provided do not contain empty files, but the link plays Rick Ashley music.
That should not be a thing that community notes can do.
This should be the one time where you can't correct with community notes.
Not allowed.
Not allowed.
I think it's an internet tradition that you are going to click on a Rickroll every once in a while.
And you should not be warned about it.
I think this is pretty fucked up and pretty un-American, if you ask me.
Warning, this post contains a reference to the game.
Do not read if you don't want to think about the game.
Yep.
Warning, this post has a man doing the OK symbol below his waist.
Yeah, got your ass.
Warning, the flaming bag on your doorstep.
It's actually full of shit.
Um, I just, like, what contempt, what contempt you must have for your own followers?
Yeah.
If you're just like, ha ha, fuck you.
Like, that's, because I don't know, you know, I don't know, like, to what degree the House Judiciary GOP are true believers, or the people who run this account are true believers, and there is some conspiracy preventing the release of The Epstein files that we, as the wealthy, have nothing to do with.
Right?
That we, as the people in charge of this country, have nothing to do with.
And we're all looking for the sicko.
We're all looking for the political sickos who did this.
Who did this?
But just to be like, maybe I did get tricked.
Like, charitably, maybe I got tricked as the House Judiciary GOP and thought Trump was going to actually release the files, but he didn't.
And instead of, like, getting mad at that, seems like something you could rightfully get mad at, I'm instead just going to cause other people pain.
I'm going to siphon off my humiliation and embarrassment and pain into these hogs, into these pigs.
I'm going to give it to you.
And it's not like there's a second meeting with real people who actually would do something with these files that weren't redacted.
That didn't happen.
It was just this...
Volume 1 was just releasing it to these Twitter personalities.
And that's it, right?
It's not like there's some sort of...
It really just didn't happen.
This is what happened.
There's no more to this.
This is what happened.
It's so funny.
There's phase two, Tony.
So, like, I think maybe what phase two will be will be the same exact documents just with fewer redactions.
Ooh.
Like, it'll be 25% less redacted.
Now, or maybe even replaced.
Maybe even instead of redacted, just be replaced with new information that's not real.
That'd be cool.
Be replaced with new redactions.
We're actually going to incorporate a series of crossword puzzles and word searches to make this volume more entertaining for you.
Yeah, you're going to have to have a lot of Black Rifle Coffee Company box tops that you can turn in for a decoder ring.
Grant you special early access to the Epstein Crypto.
Buy an Epstein token and you will have the file.
You pay like $300 for it and it's still just redacted.
It's just that your little icon that they give you, your token that they give you, is just one redacted word.
It's like, oh, I got kind of a long one.
Hell yeah.
This is a good one.
I wish I was a capable piece of shit who could do an Epstein coin rug pull.
How many Epstein coins have there?
There's got to be so many already.
Probably a million.
But this would be Epstein Files Volume 2 coin.
Yeah.
The reactions to this tweet, this Rickroll, incredible.
Zay, at Zay Troven, who's got a Ron DeSantis hat on.
His handle is Zay, and then white guy beard emoji, alligator emoji, American flag, tree.
So the alligator is a reference to Ron DeSantis.
This guy is an absolute degenerate, absolute slimy sea creature who boosts DeSantis.
Yeah, weird move.
But the white beard guy emoji?
Like, is this like pronouns in bio for the right wing or something?
Yeah, I think it's supposed to just be him.
Like, it's just...
A white guy with a beard.
It's a little bit false advertising, I would say, because the beard in the photo is more like a chin strap, and I think it's not because he shaved it that way.
I think it's just, you know, that's not how his facial hair grows, which is totally fine, unless you're projecting this false image to the rest of us via this emoji, and it's like, what do you have to hide?
Why are you lying?
What sort of...
Federal funding is going into propping up this lie to the American people.
Zay responds, I absolutely love a good Rickroll.
But when discussing the child sex trafficked and their ruined lives, this is not the time.
What a time to be alive.
What a crazy thing to read out loud.
This ain't it, Chief.
I normally enjoy.
I give a hearty laugh.
To your average Rickroll.
Yeah, but come on.
This is about...
You're thinking about...
You can't Rickroll when we're talking about the kids.
Come on.
It's so funny.
Just like...
So, like...
Clutching your pearls over this shit.
Like, it's not...
It's not in poor taste because it's a joke around an awful thing.
That happens all the time.
Sometimes they're funny.
No, it's in poor taste because they lied to you.
Yes.
It's not a taste thing at all.
They lied to you.
They're dabbing on you, idiot.
And it's like, it's not a random person on the internet.
It's not a joke.
It's a way to get away with fucking state-sanctioned human trafficking.
Bro, I don't know.
Yeah, unfortunately, it's not like a random person recalling you.
It's an actual established department.
This is official.
We are paying these people and we put them in that space.
It's like knock-knock.
Super insulting.
Knock-knock, Tony.
Who's there?
The Epstein files.
The Epstein files who?
Yeah, exactly.
You ain't getting shit, bitch!
Wouldn't you like to know?
And then the guy's like, hey, it's not a time for jokes right now.
It's not about the joke, idiot.
Also, we started with Knock Knock.
That's how we started, so we're not getting away from the joke.
This is just incredible.
Chief Trumpster, who's verified, and he's got the little organizational badge that just says conservative.
I have never seen that one.
So his name is Chief Trumpster.
His organization is conservative.
And his avatar is one of the freakish griper guys, but it's the American griper who's a fat toad guy with a Make America Great again hat on and an American flag t-shirt.
But it's not ironic.
He's not making fun.
He's embracing the cringe associated with being an American right-winger.
But even some things are too far for Chief Trumpster to embrace.
He says, I had zero expectations of anything being found.
Okay, I guess that's what makes you the Chief Trumpster.
I guess that's what makes you in charge, is that you can see through some of the bullshit.
What I did not expect was the official House Judiciary GOP account, quote, Rick Roll, a release.
These guys are so mad.
They're like dropping conjunctions and dropping prepositions and shit.
Like all the tense, the tenses are wrong because they're just like, what the fuck?
What I did not expect was the official House Judiciary GOP account Rick Roll a release of the Epstein files.
Detailed horrific crimes.
What the fuck?
What is wrong with these people?
Did they use chat GPT too much?
They forgot how to write?
How to do a sentence?
They're just seething.
They can't form full sentence.
It's like me right now reading this.
I'm just shocked.
I can't really put it all together.
It's hard.
A release of the Epstein files detailed horrific crimes.
Yikes.
This better be a hack.
I hope that that account's getting hacked.
That'd be the best thing for the country.
I like, hey, this is not the time from Zay.
Hey, this ain't it, chief.
But then the chief says, yikes, this better be a hack.
They're really offended by this, Tony.
They don't like it.
I mean, I will say, like, how could you possibly...
It says, like, you know, what I did not expect is this.
How could you expect that?
That would be pretty...
If you would have expected that, then you're a suspect in my mind.
You always have to expect the unexpected.
It's one of the first rules of safety.
And what's more unexpected than a rickroll, you know?
So real.
That's true.
It could never be rickrolled, because even if I click on it, I was expecting it.
I'm so glad I'm learning every day with you.
Yikes, fam.
This ain't it.
Wow.
The political party I've pledged my undying loyalty to is somehow assisting in the cover-up of child sex crimes?
Yikes on bikes!
It's like they are mocking you.
They are mocking the people who have just been foaming at the mouth to read these files, probably hoping there's more details than are necessary.
That's probably what you guys are hoping for, you fucking freaks.
They're laughing at you.
The House Judiciary GOP doing the Rick roll after this debacle is like when Ashley Simpson got caught lip syncing on SNL and then started doing that ironic Irish jig on stage.
Oh my god!
That's what they're doing.
They're like, well...
I forgot about that when you were starting it and then you said Irish jig and my body hurt.
My body hurt from remembering seeing that.
It was like a weird tap dancing jig thing she started doing.
And God bless her, you know?
Why not?
Why not do that?
You're fucked.
Um...
*laughs* Uh...
*cough* Autism Capital?
*laughs* There's a fucking big Twitter account.
Probably doesn't even have autism because they have the puzzle piece as their logo, which is, I don't know, it's like a pretty, there's a lot of negative connotations about the, I can't remember what the name of this organization is.
Do you know what I'm talking about, Tony?
Yeah, yeah, but I don't know about the bad part.
Well, from what I can tell, from what I've gleaned from reading the comments, which are usually pretty enlightening, just throughout my life, not in this comment section, I think it treats autism as a problem you need to fix in your child instead of working with how your child might work because they work differently.
Than you.
It, I think, treats them more as like a subject to be diagnosed and sort of like trained into better behavior or something like that.
That sucks because as we all know, your autistic child is really a blessing to you so that you can, you know, mine content from them by filming them all the time and getting them to do fun things.
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure that this Autism Capital is just like a 4chan meme.
Like, oh, we have autism because we like video games or whatever.
Yeah.
We have autism because we like racism.
Yeah.
No, I say the hard R because of the autism.
Right.
Autism Capital says, this is in bad taste.
You're going to lose the crowd.
Should delete this one.
Oh, wait.
No, I didn't.
I didn't.
The chief Trumpster, I forgot, followed up his own tweet and says, and as expected, it isn't a hack as it's been up for 30 minutes.
It's just a clown.
As expected, it wasn't a hack, even though I said it might be a hack.
I was hoping that's what it was.
I was actually expecting this.
Why are you the chief Trumpster now at this point?
If you only expect the worst from these people, what makes you the chief Trumpster?
I don't understand.
Sorry, Chief Trumpster.
You're more like the Chief Trumpster.
That's right.
God is ass.
This isn't bad, but yeah, back to Autism Capital.
Even if it's satirizing the, quote, nothingness of the files released today, it's not going to be misinterpreted, or it is going to be misinterpreted by most.
Not worth it.
I think there's only one way to interpret this.
I don't think it could, like, you could, it might have, it might like, they might be trying to do one thing over the other, but it all means the same thing, you know?
The thing with these people, though, is like, they're like, these files are a list of statements of fact and, you know, data, you know, people who were there, things that happened, not necessarily an objective, you know, a non-objective.
And they're going to be like, no, but what does it mean, though?
What does it mean, though?
Do you see the way the list of names?
It's not alphabetical.
What does it mean?
Are you following the...
Have you counted every seventh letter to find the code word for the children?
They're still thinking that.
I think what he's saying is he's like, even if you're making fun of the Trump administration, For not having the actual Epstein, for tricking you, it's like you're part of the right wing.
At best, you're being self-deprecating by being like, guess we fucked this up.
And that's still not, I wouldn't imagine, very satisfying to somebody who is part of your movement.
Gunther Eagleman, who's again one of these, I think started off as like a...
Ron Burgundy or like team or Ron Swanson rather or like Team America epic like quote parody account or something but just loses their cool all the time on Twitter and just you know posts about like every aggrieved interaction they have with anybody.
So Gunther Engelman is not his real name it's just a name he thinks would be really cool for an American dude huh?
Yes.
I mean, I don't know, but yes.
That sounds right, right?
Yeah, that's what it is.
Gunther says, who posted this?
Don't go running to my DM asking me to take this down either.
Which would be like a good satire of a right-wing blowhard, but again, this is like an actual right-wing account who's actually mad about this, who's actually thinks that him, like...
Replying to this account is going to be so fucking seismic that the House Judiciary GOP is going to beg him.
Hey, take down your reply.
Please, you can't ask who posted this.
You're endangering my family.
What do you want?
We'll give you anything.
Don't go running to my D. I mean business.
When I asked who posted this...
When it says, House Judiciary, GOP, American flag, American flag, I ain't fucking around!
I do want to know who was in the room for this decision.
It would be so sick if...
Just to high-five him.
It would be so sick if the Trump administration was like, we got him.
The person who was preventing you from seeing the real Epstein files was this low-level staffer who was doing the comms for House Judiciary, GOP, and they tie him up.
They put a bandana around his mouth and don't let him say anything, and then they just kill him.
Firing squad, yeah.
Here's Liz Wheeler's explanation.
Liz Wheeler, who, well...
Let me read this.
This is the story.
President Trump and AG Pam Bondi committed to releasing the Epstein files.
The FBI was told to deliver the files to Bondi.
They did.
About 200 pages.
Bondi smelled a rat because there was nothing juicy in the 200 pages.
Just flight logs and a Rolodex of phone numbers, which were also redacted.
No quote, smoking gun.
Still, Bondi promised to release the documents, so she prepared a binder of them.
So this is the funny part.
I'll stop this to just talk about in general.
What's really funny is when you see...
People don't usually say, or maybe half the time people say, release the Epstein files.
Release the Epstein documents.
The other half of the time, in fact, what I see people say more...
Release the flight logs.
We need the flight log.
That's the phrase that everybody says.
And that's what we have.
That's the only thing we have are the flight logs, which were leaked to Gawker.
Yeah.
And so it's just this, again, willful ignorance, this willful deletion of actual information.
That allows people to be like, well, Trump's going to finally release the flight logs, even though we've already seen the flight logs and Trump was on them.
They're like expecting a paragraph about Hillary Clinton injecting the skull of an infant.
Yeah, they're expecting CCTV footage of the plane where Hillary Clinton gets a massage by Huma while she's wearing a child's face.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
And since it's in a paper format, that's done in a cartoon that's drawn in the corner of each page, and you've got to flip through it real fast, and then you can see or do it.
I would take it at this point, Tony.
Please!
Can't Trump just click through a slideshow with stock footage explaining what happened?
I'll take his word for it.
Honestly, Trump put together a nice little Google Doc for us.
It's a little Google Doc.
Send us an invite, and I'll check it out that way.
It's got to be in audio form or something, because I can't read anymore.
Release the Epstein podcast.
Yeah!
It is just reading.
Joe Rogan.
Okay, Black Bar.
Black Bar.
Two Black Bars.
Okay.
Still, Bondi promised to release the documents, so she prepared a binder of them.
Then, last night, a whistleblower contacted Bondi and revealed that the SDNY was hiding potentially thousands of Epstein files, defying Bondi's order to give them all to her.
We're talking recordings, evidence, etc.
See, exactly, recordings.
I need to see those recordings!
Because I, you know...
Either Trump tells me he saw him, like Biden up there saying, I saw the beheaded babies.
I saw the babies in the ovens or whatever.
I need to say, yeah, Trump.
I need Trump to come out and say, yeah, I saw the frazzled drip.
I saw the face.
I saw Hillary Clinton.
I need to either hear Trump say it or I need to see the videos so that I can watermark them and repost them on Twitter and hopefully get some engagement because my insulin prices just shot up.
These swamp creatures at SDNY deceived Bondi, Cash, and you!
Be outraged!
And you!
You kind of omitted yourself from that one.
Kind of mostly you before us.
Just let's keep it real.
But the important thing to note is that it was the SDNY who did all the deceiving.
It was just the one southern district of New York who did the deception.
Be outraged that the binder is boring.
You should be.
Because the evil deep state lied to your face!
But the evil deep state who lied to our face is Trump, right?
Yeah.
The lie came from Trump, if anybody, right?
I think Trump just got too excited and said we had the documents and didn't know that we didn't have the documents again because he wouldn't know what pedophile documents look like.
And unfortunately, Doge did fire all the pedophile experts from the federal government, so we have no way of assessing these documents before releasing them to the public.
I like this.
The binder is powerful because it's tangible physical evidence of the disgusting stunt the SDNY tried to pull.
It's not.
Think about it, though.
The binder, while disappointing, is also monumental, hardcore evidence about how disappointing it is.
Using the words physical evidence for a binder of information is such a stretch.
It's literally...
It's probably not even copies.
It's printed out versions of things.
What are you talking about?
Bondi is now demanding all the Epstein evidence from SDNY plus an investigation into the persons who committed this act of defiance.
The legacy media has betrayed you again and again and again.
They lie to you.
They smear you.
They gaslight you.
They deserve no special access to real-time exposure of corruption because they played a role in covering it up in the first place.
You are the media, Elon said.
Yes, we are.
So celebrate the regular people are being given access to the most powerful people in our country to report on despicable corruption as it's being uncovered in real time.
Well, you just kind of admitted that nothing was being uncovered, that actually you weren't doing any uncovering.
And also...
Talking about media complicit in covering up crimes, you were one of the special, exclusive, as you called yourself, reporters on this subject to the White House and were fucking duped.
Were duped.
It's so funny because, like, it's so easy.
It kind of took a lot of work to kind of get the media to do your work for you, to get the actual news media to, like...
Cover your stuff in a favorable fashion.
And so now what you did is you got the people who say the media are lies and you just bring them and they're so easy.
They'll do whatever you want.
They're little fucking idiots and you can get them to do whatever you want.
This was the objective of doing this was just to get you to talk about it.
There was nothing that you were going to do to bring any justice from the Epstein files.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the plan was to turn all of the untold anger and rage at another one of Trump's broken promises onto you, a fucking TikTok podcaster, whatever you are.
Liz Wheeler, I love her calling herself one of the regular people.
We the people are the media, and you should celebrate regular people like me getting access to this.
It's like you had a show on OANN. You were a literal cable news host.
Regular folks.
You're like the antithesis of a regular person.
Just like one of us.
One of her things, one of her things she went viral for was for, quote, reporting that California was banning the sale of Bibles.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
Which, again, I wish, you know?
Yeah.
So that's the story, she says.
That's the story.
Ian Carroll says, thank you for this post.
Fucking dipshit.
Thank you.
And then a guy whose handle is TheRWord.
A literal TheRWord says why.
It just seems like she made an excuse and blamed Legacy Media.
So even a guy with Simple Jack as his profile pic called the R-word is like, hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Anyway.
Okay.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
One of my favorite news stories.
I feel like maybe just once a week we're going to have to check in to see what's happening with this administration because it's pretty good.
It's pretty good stuff.
You know, like with Biden.
You know, it's just like, okay, war crime, war crime, genocide, lackluster response to deepening inequality and the rise of fascism, war crime, police brutality.
But with this, at least I get idiots, human gorillas shaking binders and then getting confused as to why there's nothing of value inside them.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, I don't remember buying even like pretending to like catch a pedophile.
No.
No.
okay
uh this is something again like our our MAGA poet from last episode.
This is something that I've been wanting to cover for a while.
This is a post that was recommended to me on Facebook.
And I guess it's because I'm in a group that's about post-hardcore from the 2000s to the 2010s.
And unfortunately for a lot of people, that means under oath or that means all American rejects.
Yeah, it's funny how those both somehow are a part of it.
And so I get suggested posts from this band called TX2. Have you ever heard of this band?
No.
It's a...
Let me pull up the video here.
I'll play a little bit of the video for you.
I am so excited because if it's being shared to you for this purpose to watch right now, I know to buckle up.
Should I go grab a Liquid Death real quick before?
I don't know.
I think Liquid Death might be a little too hostile for these guys.
This was a Facebook reel that was recommended to me.
And it's from TX2 official.
And it's like live footage.
And the caption is...
If you have ever raised a hand at your fucking kids...
If you have ever raised a hand at your fucking kids...
Listen up!
This is for you Parents.
It was like, the caption was like, share this with somebody who needs to hear it.
Man, this band's gonna come kick my parents' ass?
Yeah, or you, if you've ever raised a hand at your kid, Tony.
Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
They're gonna whoop my ass.
This guy means business.
He's gonna set me on fire?
Yeah, it was I Hope You Burn.
Burn, baby, burn.
Burn, baby, burn.
Yeah, so this is like, this is emos.
This is like Hot Topic emos against child abuse.
It's a good stance.
It's a great stance to have.
Sure, but it's also kind of like, you know, rabid dogs against animal control.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like, well, yeah, you would, you know, sure, oh, oh, emos are against the one thing that could whip them into shape and stop being so fucking whiny all the time?
Oh, I'm shocked.
No, this is, I'm just kidding, but this is like, yeah, emos against child abuse, which, yeah, it's like somebody had to fucking say it.
Tony, I guess we should listen to this whole...
I have a different song queued up from them, but I do want to play this actual song because it's not even politically bad.
It's just crazy.
Real quick, I love the idea of that song being played at your concert and delivering it that way because you're kind of assuming that people who abuse their children are coming to see you at the show.
That's a weird...
Hey, listen up out there.
If you hit your kids and you're talking to the room of people who are there to see you...
Sometimes you don't know what you need to hear until your favorite band, TX2, tells you.
There's some guy who spanks his kids who's like, listen, we don't agree on politics, but the music is so good.
No.
Wow, why would emos have a song against child abuse or domestic abuse?
I don't know, maybe because it's fucking rampant in pop punk and emo and shit?
Like, you know, it makes me think back to when I was growing up.
There was a little band called The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
You remember that band, Tony?
Yeah, I don't remember what they sounded like, but I remember the name.
They were pretty emo.
They were pretty punk.
They were pretty screamy.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
And they had a song called Face Down.
It was about domestic violence.
Bad stuff.
And it was about how you shouldn't hit your wife or girlfriend or child bride.
And at the time...
You know, I was a punk emo back then.
We were like, this guy, these lyrics are too fucking real.
And they're like, criticizing our scene.
They're criticizing the problems in our community.
And instead of being, you know, mature, and instead of owning up to it, we were just like, no, those guys are posers, actually.
That's just radio rock.
That's just pop punk.
They're not real emos.
And I regret that decision every day of my life to not support Red Jumpsuit Apparatus when they needed it most, when their message was most worth supporting.
Is there more to that?
Did one of them go on to become an abusive partner?
Oh, no.
I don't know.
I mean, that wouldn't be crazy, though.
I don't even think they were, like, pop-punk enough to be an abuser.
Oh, yeah.
They didn't even make the cut?
No.
It'd be like...
I mean, maybe...
I don't know.
Yeah.
They were, like, on the level of, like...
It'd be like Chris Caraba.
Finding out Chris Caraba was a pedophile or whatever.
Which, I mean...
Chris Caraba's abuse is definitely, like...
Gaslighting and that type stuff.
It's like emotional abuse, love bombing, that type beat, you know?
Chris Carabba's abuse was refusing to have sex with his girlfriend before marriage.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Chris Carabba's abuse was forcing a promise ring onto a girl who wanted, on a woman who wanted nothing more than just to have sex.
Yeah, he wouldn't do it.
Chris Krabba's form of abuse is bringing the Holy Spirit into the bedroom without your consent.
And it's not right.
He shaves those landing strips on both sides of his face.
face where does he expect me to fucking want to sit bro uh here's the actual song oh Oh.
*laughter* It's just a close-up of like a, I don't know, a white guy with cornrows on a fiddle.
Mouth breathing so crazy.
This came out a year ago?
Yeah.
This is what you wanted.
*Ding* *Ding* *Ding* *Ding* *Ding* *Ding* *Ding*
Like I don't- I mean, I guess when you're a kid, and you're listening to this, you're just like, "Whoa, there's so many cool ideas in here." Yeah.
It's like, I don't know, if you've been alive for like 16 or 17 years, you're just like, why is all of this bullshit in the same song?
And then you're watching it, too, and you're seeing these people who are not kids, and you're like, you're 30, bro.
Move out.
You don't gotta get abused by your dad anymore.
You could just move out.
You don't gotta set him on fire.
I mean, you can.
You can.
I'm not gonna knock you for it, but you don't have to.
You can just move out.
Yeah, you're big enough.
He can't really spank you anymore.
Yeah, how about the 30-year-old guy that gave you the can of gasoline?
How about he helps you move out instead?
Yeah, because the singer is with somebody who's the disgruntled kid attacking the dad on the couch.
This really is just...
Man, what's the name of that?
Natural Born Killers.
That's what this is.
This is a pop-punk predator grooming a goth child into murdering their dad.
Yep, yep.
Classic, classic.
Yeah, all these scars on my wrists and forearms.
Yeah, my dad did that.
Yeah.
Get him!
Get him, guys!
Don't kill him.
Don't kill him for me.
No.
Abuse is real.
I'm not...
Sorry, I didn't mean to make light of Epstein or child abuse.
I apologize for making a joke.
Parents!
I'm talking to you in the crowd.
If you've ever given your son or daughter a bedtime before 8pm, I hope you burn!
It's impressive.
Because we can't really write a song.
How do I write a song about older guys who use trauma to groom young girls?
What does that song sound like?
Every pop punk since the Descendants?
Yeah, the OGs, you know?
Oh, mommy dearest, you made me eat vegetables.
Brutal.
Yeah, there's like, we're only 45 seconds, or no, sorry, that's the wrong video.
Sorry, we're a minute into this video, but we've heard like three different songs.
Yeah.
What does this sound like live?
It's just like all backing tracks, right?
Absolutely.
It's like dummy cabinets, sample drums, maybe a guy drums along to the drum samples or something.
This is the song he had with...
There's a band called Ice Nine Kills.
Oh, yeah.
Just, like, saying this stuff out loud, it feels like I conjured demons.
Like, there's gonna be people in my DMs defending this band.
Yeah.
You're not gonna find much sympathy for me.
But yeah, they're like...
They're like bands that congealed into...
Congealed from, like, the leftover unsold copies of Punk Goes Pop.
Yeah.
You know, like, those compilations where it's like...
What if this frickin' pop punk or like this...
It's punk goes crunk.
This easy core band covered Chapel Rhone.
What about that?
Did you see that video?
No.
It was like, dude, there's this...
I can't watch those anymore.
I can't.
It just makes me sad.
Yeah, I mean, for one thing, I will just say...
You could do a guitar cover of Chapel.
There's already guitar in Chapel Rhone, but it's produced differently and shit.
But you could do a rock cover.
If you're even trying to do a metal cover or a hardcore cover, there's no way of that sounding good.
But a lot of these bands who are billing themselves as like...
An emo version of Chapel.
You're just playing rock, dude, but it's the most overproduced digital-sounding shit I've ever fucking heard.
But anyway, there's this account on Twitter that I think is a podcast, and they're like a punk music pod, but it's just...
It's every annoying band that we've tangentially covered.
It's Bad Wolves.
It's fucking Pierce the Veil.
It's all of these very stinky bands.
But the podcast is called like State of the Scene or something.
And just they have so many followers.
And so I have to like see their shit in my feed.
And I'm like kind of addicted to it.
You know, I still have that like disease back from the awful sound days where I need to know.
How bad is it?
Let's see how bad this shit really is.
I need to know what's going on in my scene, you know?
Yeah.
And like they posted this video and it was like nothing nowhere covers Chapel Roan as an emo song.
And I was like, okay, I need to hear how bad this is.
And I was so confused because it was showing the band playing it live, but it was just cutting from instrument to instrument.
And I was like, wait, that's all the same guy.
He's just wearing his hat differently.
When he's playing the drums, he's wearing it backwards.
It was so confused because I was like, wait.
They all look pretty similar, and I was just like, oh, it's just a guy.
It's just one guy who has a band name and then accompanies himself for TikTok videos, and that's his band, I guess.
That stuff is so wild to me, because as people who create things and put things out for entertainment purposes, that guy had a set for his things.
He had a backdrop.
And music video production.
Where are they getting this money from?
It's weird.
It's like seeded by stuff.
It's a weird psy-op thing that's happening out there.
I don't understand how this works.
I mean, it is pretty cheap to podcast and to upload videos to YouTube anymore.
It just takes time.
It takes time to do that shit.
They have a space where he can set up an entire band.
With a backdrop.
With different backdrops.
It's not just like a curtain.
It's like a room.
I've got somebody for you who actually goes into how they can do this stuff.
His name is Tom McDonald and his girlfriend, Nova Rockefeller, shoots all their music videos just at their house, like in the bathroom, in the bedroom.
And it's just, you know, it's like creativity.
Like, did you ever see how they made Coraline?
Like, they used dog toys as flowers and stuff like that.
It's the same thing with Tom McDonald.
You know, they used an American flag T-shirt.
Yeah, why?
But Ice Nine Kills is a band that only does covers.
Is that their deal?
They're like the me first and the gimme gimme's of horror pop or something.
I'm trying to remember their specific gimmick, but I just remember hearing them back.
It's a reference.
It's a literary reference.
But the music is so fucking bad.
And I think they only cover horror movie themes or all their songs are related to horror movies.
It's like, what if Graf Orlok sucked so fucking bad?
Yeah, what if they read Zero Talent?
When I first heard of Ice Nine Kills, I think I heard a snippet of it and I hate it so much.
It made me embarrassed that I understood the reference.
I was like, should I have not read that book?
Does this make me lame for reading that book?
Does Kurt Vonnegut suck?
Yeah, I didn't read that.
Because this band is so bad.
Yeah.
What is that, Cat's Cradle?
What is that a reference?
I think it's Cat's Cradle, yeah.
Yeah, I haven't read that one.
But yeah, I didn't even know it was a reference to that.
When I was doing cursory glance, somebody in the comments was probably like, God, I love the literary reference.
That's like half of why I like the band, you know?
But he did TX2, collabed with Ice Nine Kills on this shit.
I really hate this lead singer.
See, it just...
I mean, like, I, you know...
I don't like the style.
Like, the style doesn't match at all to the sound.
The style looks extremely...
Like, try-hard stuff, you know, because they're wearing, like, corpse paint and, like, clown makeup and not even as, like, characters for the music video.
That's just, like, their stage presence is, like, black, you know, like, Joker or Crow makeup.
And, like, to be clear, there's, like, plenty of ways you can, like, wear...
I'm a fan of corpse paint.
Corpse paint is cool.
Like, there's plenty of ways you do it.
It looks fine.
But this guy just looks like...
You just see this guy and he's doing it all.
He has the paint.
He has the red highlights in his hair and he's doing very performative moves that don't seem...
You just know this guy sucks.
You just know you don't want to talk to this guy.
You just know this guy pulled up next to you in the bar.
You're going to have a bad time and it's going to be so annoying.
This guy, looking at this, this makes black metal worse.
Yeah.
Somehow.
You know what I mean?
Like, you're like, okay, the corpse paint is, like, kind of corny and, you know, that's kind of like a goofy thing to do, but like, oh, they're actual, like, homicidal teenagers and they're severely depressed and in the forest and shit like that and the music is, like, creepy and punishing.
Okay, I can kind of get what they're going for.
And it's like a theater kid dancing around going, why so serious?
And it's like, okay, never mind.
You've ruined the whole thing for everybody.
And this is what happens when your torture comes from not being able to go to Hot Topic enough and getting bullied on Minecraft.
This is for every parent who wouldn't let their underage son or daughter come unaccompanied to a TX2 show.
No, for sure.
I hope you burn!
Like, I mean, I guess I guess this just kind of sounds like Avenged Sevenfold, right?
This is like, it kind of sounds like City of Evil era Avenged Seven, just like extremely produced stadium metal.
Yeah.
See what?
I think I figured something out.
Ready to cut a bitch for me?
I think I figured out what the pop punk voice is.
The pop punk, you know, because there's a pop punk voice that they do, and we kind of just heard it.
I just nailed it.
The one I just nailed?
Exactly.
I think I know the reason for it.
It's so that you sound like you're 16 and not 32. Yep.
Right?
Sound like a child?
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
You're like doing a duck call for a fucking tween.
Yep, that's exactly what it is.
That makes sense.
I'm just a little boy.
Don't worry.
I've never done anything like this either.
You're always like, oh, we better release your new album before puberty happens.
I'm not gonna sound the same.
Wow, this is such a confusing time for me, too.
You're wearing, like, a propeller hat and shit?
Big lollipop?
I'm getting all these gray hairs, and then I... I still have so many feelings.
Gray hair, but I can't even grow a mustache.
So anyway, that's TX. I think we listened to enough of that.
The responses on Facebook were amazing.
Let me see what we're doing on time here.
Okay, yeah, we got time for a few responses here.
So this is what happens on Facebook when you ask people to stop hitting their children.
Oh, no.
I didn't even think about that part about this.
I forgot that this is on Facebook.
John Coleman says, Nah, bro.
Life sucks.
Get a helmet.
I'm alive because my dad beat my ass and kept me away from the stupid decisions I was making.
Oh, my God.
Maybe y'all should learn to swallow that pride and admit y'all were wild little shits, too.
I thank God every day for my dad because I see dipshits like you online talking about, quote, discipline created this monsters.
So what are you trying to tell everyone as discipline made you a 30-year-old who listened to music for 16-year-old?
I mean, kind of got you there.
Honestly, kind of got his ass, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, that is the best...
I got beat, and now I have to listen to TX2. I don't want that for anyone else.
Can't relate.
My dad showed me Slayer at 7. I don't...
That's so fucking funny.
Yes, he also did carve Slayer into my arm and then took a photo of it and sent it to Slayer, but they had already included that on the previous album's artwork, so they didn't do it again.
I don't cry about people telling me to do right because I'm a man and my dad whooped my ass and showed me not to be a fucking loser like you weirdos.
They're not...
I think...
I think Brian was also maybe a bit of a bad kid.
This is from John.
He's replying to a guy named Brian.
Sorry, John.
John must have also seemed like a bad kid because they are talking about just don't do it for no reason.
Only hit your kid if you have a really good reason or if you're really mad.
You know what I'm saying?
Both are terrible.
But one is a little more harder to comprehend.
I think that's what the song is like saying, but I think John was like, that was a bad kid.
I needed to get my ass beat.
I think there's a middle ground.
I think there's showing your kid Slayer very good, beating them with blunt objects or your fists or whatever.
That's just slightly too far.
That's bad.
That's bad.
You know, make them listen to 90s Metallica if you want to abuse them.
Yeah, exactly.
John, again, comments, I'd still be strung out and robbing people if it wasn't for my dad's, quote, lessons, aka punching me in the chest.
At first, I was like, damn, my dad hit me, but then I shut the fuck up and listened to what he was saying, and I was like, oh shit, I get it.
I'm the one being a wild, unhinged R-word instead of listening to my parents, which is an epiphany you fucking weirdos never had.
That's probably why pedophilia and shit like that runs rampant in that genre, like singers abusing women, kids, animals, etc.
Wow, what would a singer abusing a child look like?
What would the child abuse look like, Tony?
It's always some weird emo guy.
Okay.
Just the worst person you know made a good point, unfortunate.
But, I don't know, I think maybe your dad was a bad dad and then he hit you to make up for it and you were like, well, that's the best I'm going to get.
I guess I better learn from it because he's not having any conversations with me.
Yeah, it sounds like your dad punched you in the chest when you were strung out robbing people.
Which I'm hoping you were doing as at least an older teen.
He should have been hitting you way sooner than that.
According to your logic, that is the truth.
An adult allowed to punch another adult, in my opinion.
It's not the same thing.
If the son's 18. His son's a grown man, and he's coming around the house after robbing people, and you're like, yo, chill.
You can punch him in the chest.
It's not what they're singing about, dude.
They're not coming after your dad.
Your dad's not going to get set on fire.
John also responds to Briar, so how do you discipline your kid?
And Briar says, unlike my own parents properly, and he's doing great.
And there's five laugh reacts to that.
And then John responds to Briar, abuse can be more than just physical.
What you're doing, he might consider psychological abuse when he grows up.
How will you handle that if he feels that way?
John's like, listen, there's no winning.
May as well go all in.
They're going to hate you.
So you may as well get some licks off.
Exactly.
Do you want to be 80 years old looking back at all the times you could have hit kids?
They're just like, there's no hope.
There's no hope for your kids.
You have to do the worst.
As a parent, I can't imagine a scenario where anything like that's happening.
Like, that's so crazy.
You know, because we've established a good relationship where we can have conversations.
We can talk about stuff.
You know, there are, like, repercussions for things, but it's like going to bed a little bit earlier or, like, not having as much screen time.
You know, it's things like that.
Like, to be here, like, no, you gotta hit him.
And, like, imagine, like, what if your kid's just, like, a good kid?
That doesn't matter.
They could go wrong at any moment, Tony.
You gotta make sure they don't.
You gotta hit them, you know?
You gotta make sure that's the last thing they remember before they step out the door.
Listen, I didn't want to do it, which is why we have a firm two-for-flinching rule around the house.
Listen, I hit my kids at home, so it's safe.
I got a first-aid kid in the closet.
Yeah, yeah.
Where I can watch them because I'm doing it.
I'm the cool parent.
I let my kids and their friends hang out here.
Think about how much worse it would be if I wasn't doing that.
Oh, my God.
I don't even want to imagine.
I like what you're doing.
He might consider psychological abuse when he grows up.
So something tells me, judging by this guy's comments and his comment sections, he doesn't actually believe in psychological abuse.
That's what it seems like, yeah.
Like, oh, your kid's going to cry wolf and say that you did abuse, even though we all know psychological abuse is fake.
So yeah, you might as well do the real abuse, which is also fake.
There's no such thing as abuse.
It's all fake.
And are you going to believe your kid when he says that hurts or whatever?
Like, no, your kid is a liar.
Robert says, we were all abused.
Get over yourself.
Pity party is over.
Sorry, Robert, I hate to tell you this, bud.
But that's not actually true.
That's not necessarily true at all.
And that sucks for you.
The status quo is not okay, bud.
This is one of my favorite tendencies on the right wing.
Is to say, yeah, we're all suffering.
We should do nothing about it.
You fucking idiot.
Stop caring about the suffering.
They do it when...
Slavery is brought up or systemic racism.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I'm Irish.
You really want to have that conversation?
I'm Irish-American, buddy.
You want to go down that route?
Really want to have that conversation?
Take any good railroads lately?
Huh?
You're welcome.
Whatever you do, do not join up with people who have common interests, common material interests with you to affect change.
Do not do this.
Don't do that.
No way.
I love it.
David says, you need to do better.
Discipline works.
Probably didn't work on you because you were a little shit like them.
And yeah, I'm going to compare you to a dog.
A trained dog has more manners.
I wonder why.
It wasn't because it was trained to that.
No, no, no way.
That's how it works.
Get real, kid, and grow up.
That's why the people voted for Trump.
So this awful way of thinking will disappear.
You know when you have a...
Oh, the ladies, they love to come up and say, wow, you've got such a mild-mannered dog.
Wow, it's such a polite dog.
Do you think they really want to know what I had to do to get this dog like this?
No.
They want to know the truth?
Yeah.
Just go back to your peaceful existence thinking everything is great and ignoring the years of hard physical abuse I had to do.
Because it's going to make you sad.
It's going to make you really sad.
And it was actually really hard for me to do.
But hey, we got here.
I love it too.
Discipline works.
But not on you because you're too much of a little shit.
Which if you are that little shit, that's such a sick ass compliment.
You're like, I was that fucking bad.
I could be untamed.
Broke the ruler over my ass.
I didn't let my parents fucking cuck me, okay?
Unlike you.
It reminds me of that one kid, how they were bringing spanking back to some school, and there was a comment that was fantasizing about how a liberal teacher was going to try spanking a Chad pro-America middle school student, but his ass would be so strong because he's a Trump supporter that it would break the paddle.
It is because he's tough?
Or because his parents are abusing him so much at home, his ass is calloused.
Well, and also the liberal teacher's weak, so the wrist would probably break before even the paddle, you know?
Easily, yeah.
A few more comments here.
Alan says, someone will raise a hand to them in the real world because you have declined to teach them actions have consequences.
If you don't hit your kid, I'm gonna do it.
Yeah.
It's gonna happen.
That is unironically how a lot of these people think.
Like, it is, it is, I bet, like, so many of these people, in addition to being like, God, I wish Antifa would come to my fucking doorstep.
Or like, I dare, I dare a black to murder my wife and daughter.
They better not.
I'll tell you what.
I think there's also like, oh God, I wish some kid would just start shit with me.
I bet there's...
Remember that video of that dad losing his cool and punching?
Well, I didn't even know if he was a dad, but he was getting bullied by a 13-year-old or by a 12-year-old.
And the 12-year-old was going chest to him and pushing up against him and shit, and he flipped out and hit him.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
There's another one going on right now that's just like that.
It's like...
This young girl's not listening to this guy, and she's continuing to bully his kid, and he smacks her.
It's so crazy.
Yeah, it's rough, man.
It sucks that...
That interaction is tough, and I'm not saying you should ever fucking slap a kid or whatever, but that situation's already bad, and the fact that it's monetized by social media is...
Those fight videos pop up into my feed.
Awful.
Pretty frequently.
And it's like half the time it's like a fucking sucker punch.
Like this isn't even a fight.
Like it's like, wow, laid him out with one punch.
And it's like a six foot tall bodyguard, you know, six foot six, 400 pound bodyguard, like knocking out a drunk guy who was in a conversation with a kick streamer or whatever.
Dude, I hate, I hate every.
Every door guy is the fucking worst.
Except for me, of course.
Me and my guys.
Me and my guys are sweet.
But I hate going to a place.
Every single dude is out there.
I don't know how these people are still hiring these people.
They all are just so excited for you to start some shit.
They want it.
It's so gross.
And that's where all these videos come from.
It's so crazy.
Okay, so the way this guy's talking in this comment, though...
Is someone going to raise their hand to your kid because they defend them, or are you being attacked?
Are you saying that you allow your kid to defend themselves when you're abusing them?
Are you in combat with your kid, or are you just abusing them?
I think what it is here is that hitting is the way to solve problems.
And if you didn't solve the problem at home by hitting, then I might have to solve the problem by hitting or somebody else might have to solve the problem by hitting or whatever.
I do like the idea of a bouncer being like, you know, a door guy letting people in and being like, by any chance were you here to meet an FBI agent posing as a 14-year-old girl?
Oh, okay.
Right this way.
Just hoping that one of the people at the door might be a pedophile so they could get some clicks or whatever.
Yeah.
You have flowers.
What's going on here?
Yeah, somebody...
Sabra was arguing with these people about...
Like, all the documented scientific evidence that shows hitting your kid does not help them learn, you know, does not actually help them develop and learn boundaries and things like that.
Like, posted links from chhs.niu.edu, gse.harvard.edu, human.cornell.edu, just like...
Link after link of evidence about how hitting is bad for your kids.
And it's all just laugh-reacts.
It's all just laugh-reacts all the way down.
I love it.
See, it keeps going.
Listen, I need something that's not science, okay?
Alright?
I don't need science and studies.
And then Nikki Shooter says, if you're complaining about past discipline as an adult, then it didn't work.
Okay.
Which is a strange own, because I think the point that they're making is that it doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Who is that in Nikki's profile picture?
Oh, you better believe it's Kurt Cobain.
It's Kurt Cobain with one of his...
I actually don't even know if this is attributable to him, but I can see it.
One of his Malthusian quotes is his disgruntled quotes.
I can't remember the exact quote, but it's like, humans are evil.
I'm ashamed to be a human.
Something like that, yeah.
And then the cover photo is Star Wars.
The cover photo is, I think, Ahsoka fighting Anakin Skywalker.
Like a funny era to go make your profile, your background picture.
Born in the wrong era, Tony.
I wish I were listening to Nirvana and all their pro-child abuse songs.
Yeah, what?
God, what a time to be alive.
What a scene.
You could go to a Nirvana show and talk about how good it is to hit your kids, and you could go to a Foo Fighters show and learn about how AIDS is fake.
Yep.
It's a great time to be alive.
I like this guy so much that I have him as my profile picture.
I've also, like, I listen to his music, but I've never actually heard any.
No, I've heard all of his music.
I've never actually listened to it.
You know, I don't actually know what he's talking about at all.
I wonder if he wrote a song about me.
Yeah.
I wonder if there's a song that's about the most about me song ever written.
Yeah, that'd be cool.
I just, I love all of his pretty songs, you know, but sometimes the message is a bit confusing.
Where is it right here?
Yeah, Darla says, exactly.
Physical abuse never works as a discipline and as discipline.
And Nikki says, worked on the rest of us.
Perhaps it's your soft skin generation that's the problem and not the ancient art of the ass whooping.
Yeah, so you were too much of a bitch for discipline to even work on you.
And it's funny, too.
It seems like the only evidence that they have, if anything works or didn't work, is if you're here to support child abuse.
Yeah, as if you're here to fantasize about beating children.
