In honor of Dennis Prager's ongoing health crisis, we're unlocking this 2020 episode on his and Adam Corolla's generational epic: "No Safe Spaces" FOR THE REST OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON DUE TO OUR SCHEDULE, MDC IS PATREON ONLY. SUPPORT THE SHOW AT http://PATREON.COM/MINIONDEATHCULT FOR ACCESS TO HUNDREDS OF BONUS EPISODES AND A NEW EPISODE EVERY WEEK. As an end-of-year treat we cover No Safe Spaces, the Crisis on College Campuses documentary hosted by Dennis Prager and Adam Corolla with the seeming goal of convincing us how much people dislike them Music: Beige Eagle Boys - Nothing's Ever Good Enough
And conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
But stay tuned, guys.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
People not wanting to watch Dennis Prager conduct an orchestra is responsible.
We're documenting it.
What's up everybody?
Thank you so much for joining us today.
Thank you especially for supporting the show.
It is the last episode of the year and as such we thought we might do something special.
We thought we might...
I don't know.
As a thank you to everybody hanging in there with us, supporting us during the time of year where it becomes the most difficult to produce this show.
Everybody continuing to support.
I don't know what the fuck is going on in my room.
With the cats?
I think it was somebody like right outside my window clicking shit.
Oh.
It sounded like there was like a plug, an outlet shorting or something.
Ooh, I hate that.
That's the worst.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're waiting for the smell.
Um...
Yeah, so, I don't know, as to show our appreciation and just to have kind of a fun, loose, end-of-year episode, we are covering no safe spaces.
This is an episode that is like two years in the making, I believe.
We've been waiting for it.
We have been waiting so long for this movie to come out that I believe we did an episode just on the trailer that dropped.
That was so long ago.
I think the name of that episode is Dennis Prager Soldier Spy.
Yeah, I think that is it, yeah.
I was trying to think of what I would have titled that episode, and that immediately shot to my mind was a Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy pun, and I'm like, that's probably what I named it.
That has to be it.
Yeah, I can't stop thinking about that movie.
Two masterpieces.
Right.
Who's to say which is better?
So I don't know what the title of this episode will be.
I mean, is it going to be the name of another Jean Le Carre film adaptation?
You know, A Most Wanted Man?
A Most Wanted Men.
Ooh.
By which I mean, by whom I mean Dennis Prager and Adam Carolla.
Warriors.
Warriors.
Absolute truth warriors.
I don't know what took this movie so long to come out, this documentary, because it only came out this year, but I believe they were filming it in 2016. It's finally out.
We are happy to finally cover it.
Yeah, and it's funny because our brand is kind of like a hair shirt style conversation where we go in the dredges and we wade through the dredges of these awful people.
And this was just like this beautiful synthesis of all of it.
And like I said to you, it was like unfiltered and it was just...
Beautiful and painful to watch, but in this way that only I think we can enjoy, we enjoyed the kind of pleasure that you get from self-flagellation in watching this.
It was fucking punishing.
I mean, this is, uh, you think that this is me at my most sadistic?
No.
It's me at my most masochism.
It's honestly both.
It's sadism and masochism.
Because my immediate thought, my, like, I don't know, upfront review of No Safe Space is the documentary about a crisis of free speech on college campuses because people said, uh, fuck you to Ben Shapiro when he came to speak at Berkeley or whatever.
My immediate review is this is just like a non-stop cavalcade of the most...
Unpleasing, unpleasant people I've ever seen captured on film.
Willingly putting themselves on film.
Oh yeah.
It is like a menagerie of just completely repellent personalities.
Not just ideologies, but, like, vibes.
You know?
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely vibes.
I think that this movie should be shown in, like, progressive spaces because it really is just, like, the whole thing...
This kind of has this whole vibe.
It's all yucky and you want nothing to do with it.
This movie should be shown to people with personality disorders, like people on the spectrum.
And I include myself in that as an example of how not to fucking act.
Don't do this.
Just for everybody.
Nobody in this movie is cool.
Nobody in this movie is an aspirational figure.
The most successful people in this documentary are people like Tim Allen.
People like Jerry Seinfeld.
People like Jordan Peterson.
People like Adam Carolla.
Adam Carolla is honestly the least dislikable person that I think I can talk about in this whole documentary.
His jokes are shitty.
His opinions and his statements are banal as hell.
But he at least has experience being on camera and trying to make people like him.
From like the man show.
Like everything that's good, everything that's like tolerable about seeing Adam Carolla on screen, he learned from the man show, basically.
That's the best thing I can say about Adam Carolla.
And that's kind of a nice thing about this movie, too, is that I was a 12, 13-year-old in 2000, 2001, 1999. I watched The Man Show, and I've tried to think about it in my head and be like, I don't know if that was that bad.
It was bad, but it was of the time.
And I've tried to think about it in that headspace.
And watching this and watching Adam Carolla now, I was like, Oh, no, that shit for sure sucked.
That was all bad.
That was all bad.
It just finished it for me.
I watched the man show, but just for the articles.
I turned it off the second they brought the girls jumping on trampolines.
Yeah, I was like, nope, uh-uh.
Not interested.
I would put a piece of cardboard up over one part of the screen so I can still read the credits because I think it's important to acknowledge laborers.
I would just jerk off to the names.
So basically the gist of this documentary is the thesis of this documentary is there is a huge problem going on in the world.
It's possibly the biggest problem and it foretells even bigger problems down the road.
And that is 18 year olds in college don't like me.
Yes.
That's exactly what it is.
And I will say that, you know, this is a right-wing quote documentary.
It is a dangerous documentary, judging by one of the production companies.
It's called Dangerous Documentaries.
And I think the O in dangerous is the radioactive material sign.
Yeah, it is.
It's, like, really actual dangerous.
Which I thought was, like, brave of them because, like, I mean, as far as I'm concerned, that was kind of a trigger warning for the whole thing.
And that's not really their speed.
Yeah, warning.
Watching this will make your hair and teeth fall out.
Yeah.
So, of course, they're going to, like, portray their, you know, their ideological foes as, you know, cringy or over-the-top or...
Or, you know, illogical or whatever.
And of course, they did that.
They did that pretty well.
Like, when I say nobody looks good in this movie, I mean almost nobody looks good.
Almost everybody doesn't look good in this movie.
Yeah.
But it borders on, like...
Like, 49% of this is like, who cares?
These are kids, like, you know, flexing, whatever, who cares?
The other 49% is like, yeah, cool, fuck you guys.
Like, that's cool.
And then there's like 1% where you're like, oh no, okay, that's a little too far.
That's bad.
Yeah.
And like you said, the whole thing about this is they show this swath of people that all just happen to be 19 and 20. And no shots 19 and 20 year olds, but I'm so grateful that I wasn't being recorded in 19 and 20. Sure.
You know, that's all that is.
But it's like, yeah, because you see a lot of these people are close.
They're so close.
And they're probably going to figure that shit out pretty soon.
But they don't have the full...
But I like their energy, and that's fucking tight.
And there's so many times where they just make the people they're trying to villainize look really tight.
I don't know if I got a lot of that.
Like, which people look tight?
Because a lot of these people were bad.
Yeah, a lot of them are really bad.
A lot of them are just kind of funny to me, I guess, is really what it is.
Even though I don't necessarily agree with the people who are just like, shut up, I also love that.
Mostly because it's funny to me.
But it's not constructive or good.
No, nobody comes off looking good in this, but Dennis Prager definitely looks worse than the opposition.
The opposition just looks like young cringe lords.
Yeah, super cringe, yeah.
Dennis Prager looks like a fucking villain, like a genuine villain.
Yeah.
He, I will say the most extreme, we'll just get it out of the way now so we don't have to dwell on it or whatever.
The most extreme case is at the Olympic, like, hippie arts school, where they're interviewing a professor who got cancelled by, like...
The campus, basically.
Because there's some recurring holiday where, I mean, forgive me for not knowing what it's actually based on, but it's apparently based on a work, a theoretical, a work of fiction by a black author.
What would happen if black people in a town went on strike?
And then like...
It's okay, Alex, that you don't know that.
I mean, that's just the difference between an ally and an accomplice.
It was like the day of absence, right?
Right.
It's like day without a Mexican, which I guess appropriated that from...
Yeah, I think so.
I mean, no shots, but of course, if it's cool, it probably came from black culture.
Just like no day for a Mexican.
Yeah.
People don't talk about it, but there's a lot of strife between the Mexicans and the blacks.
People don't talk about how racist they are to each other.
I mean, you're not wrong.
I'm just joking.
That's what I'm going to say there, is that you are not wrong.
Um...
And for whatever reason, the campus having this recurring holiday where the black students and black faculty would participate in this day of absence, they decided that all the white people had to leave.
The white people were going to be doing the absence instead.
And it's just like...
It's trying so hard.
It's like trying so hard to do politics and like...
I love it!
I fucking love it!
Because it's like...
The thing is, they all just...
Nobody...
I don't know if someone did explain it good and they just didn't show it.
But I kind of like the joke where the joke is kind of like...
It's not the joke.
It's the whole thing.
In my mind, what's happening here is like, you know what?
We're already kind of being held back anyways.
We shouldn't miss a day of school also.
So maybe y'all should miss a day of school.
And you know what?
And you can make it up later.
You can extra credit.
But you don't show up.
And I kind of love that.
I really love that.
I don't know how deep we're getting at this, but I also love how this ends, which maybe we can talk about later.
But I also love how this whole saga ends.
Because to me, that's the whole exclamation mark on that whole story.
Well, I think we could talk about it now, since we're already on it.
It's just, it strikes me as, like, somebody like, you know, these kids, they're like, you know, hey, we've been doing this day of absence for ten years now and nothing has changed.
Black wealth is still, like, being erased, you know, cops are still killing black people in the streets.
We need to flip this whole thing on our head.
On its head.
And we're going to do the opposite of a day of absence.
It's like, shut the fuck up, you fucking nerd.
And it's like, you just get...
So this one professor was like, this is crazy to me.
This one white professor was like, this is crazy to me.
I'm going to still teach my class on this day of absence.
And so the whole campus...
Invaded his classroom and occupied his classroom and wouldn't let him leave.
They were making demands of the dean and it's like, I don't know, maybe try to do this for a lower tuition fee.
Maybe try to get together so that TAs can get paid better or paid at all.
Why not do this for anything that matters rather than making your professor wear a cattle collar through campus or whatever?
I'm going to push back on that a little bit.
The thing is, yes, the whole thing is extremely cringe.
It's extremely corny.
But he could have done this.
He could have been like, listen, I stand in solidarity with you, I understand, but I'm still going to teach my class.
Instead, he was like, just like, fuck you, I'm going to teach my class.
And there was no acknowledgement of it.
I think there was a way he could have operated.
And I think that when he showed up the way he showed up, which is like, fine, teach your class.
I get that.
That's like not a bad thing.
But the way he showed up, he showed up in defiance of that thing and didn't acknowledge it at all.
Yeah, he did.
He wrote a long email.
He wrote a long email to the staff saying that he wasn't going to participate and that if you wanted to take it as a, quote, protest, then it's a protest or whatever.
It's all just, like, nonsense to me, man.
But that's what I'm saying, though.
The long email did not at all say anything along the lines of, like, hey, I acknowledge that racism exists on this campus.
Yeah, he did.
He said he supported the day of absence every year.
Like, he supports the act.
I don't know.
I think I said the same thing.
It's nonsense performative bullshit on both sides.
And this guy ends up doing a long segment.
He's like a big part of the No Safe Spaces.
And so you're like, yeah, I get why this professor wasn't like...
Let's do woke segregation.
Let's do woke forced segregation and that's going to end racism.
Which is what this is.
It's like we're all out of ideas.
We've tried this thing, now let's try the opposite type of segregation and see if that works.
And I totally get rejecting that out of hand.
Because I would reject that out of hand.
I would think it was baby shit.
Yeah, but you also would, like, say that.
You would say that in a way that...
And you would also pair it with what you're saying now.
I don't know.
I didn't read the guy's email.
But anyway, he sucks.
No, hold on.
Not anyway.
What he's saying...
What's funny about this, though, is that what happens at some point is he decides...
They say, hey, do me a favor and don't do anything this day.
And he says, I'm going to do something this day.
And take it as protest.
Right?
That line says a lot to me.
And the thing is, the whole thing's corny.
And it's a lot of effort from both ends.
But one of them is like...
One of them might be being done incorrectly, but the message is still the good message.
And if all you're being asked to do is not come into class that day...
What's the message?
I don't understand what the message is.
Hey, stay home and acknowledge that racism exists.
That's what I got from that.
So anybody can just come up to you and say, you're going to walk on one foot all day to show how black people have to get through life.
You're going to have to hop around on one foot all day.
Why am I supposed to entertain that idea?
Just because racism is real.
Because sometimes there's a fine line between being performative and solidarity.
It's the opposite of solidarity.
What they're talking about is the opposite of solidarity.
I think what they're saying, though, is the opposite of solidarity, but it's also like...
I don't know.
It's not a huge ask.
It's not a huge ask.
It's not a huge ask, even if it's like the wrong thing, even if it's like the wrong way to go about it, it's not a huge ask.
It's like, painting a road with Black Lives Matter is fucking stupid and a waste of money, but I'm not like, I don't want people painting over it either.
No, but it's, that's totally different.
That's somebody doing art.
That's somebody expressing themselves.
No, that's not somebody doing art.
That's a city paying for some performative bullshit piece.
Okay, somebody's doing that piece.
What we're talking about is you going up to random people and demanding that they paint Black Lives Matter.
And if they don't paint Black Lives Matter in the street right now, then they're a racist.
And you're going to occupy their fucking workspace and try to get them fired for it.
It's not politics, dude.
Yeah, no, you're right, but I don't know.
You're right, it's like silly and misguided, but I don't like...
I wish they'd put the energy towards anything else, like towards something more constructive, like do this to the police or something, but I don't know.
It's just not...
It's not worth showing up to work that day for.
I think that's what it comes down to for me.
It's, like, not worth showing up to work for.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know what I would do in that situation.
I would be, like...
I would, like, throw my hands up in the air, I guess.
Um...
It's like, I get his resistance to this idea, but the more he actually, you realize, oh, he's in this No Safe Spaces documentary.
He's, like, participating in this shit.
And the more he talks and the more he gives his reaction to everything that happens and the more he lends to the documentary, you're just like, well, fuck this guy.
He's just as awful as the rest of these right-wing cranks.
He's no better than them.
I think maybe that's also what's really swaying me here is that I know he sucks.
I watched him suck for an hour and a half.
So the opening of the No Safe Spaces documentary, we get ominous music playing over shots of student bulletin boards.
The score deserves an award.
The score is incredible.
But yeah, super ominous.
This is what determines what is acceptable on campuses, is the student bulletin board.
Notice something?
Is it a lack of gender essentialism?
Yeah, you caught that right.
We also get shots of police in military-grade equipment, like, lined up on college campuses.
Like, in the first, like, 30 seconds to a minute of this documentary.
And it's just astounding because it's, like...
I think what they're trying to show with this shot is, like...
The left is so out of control that it requires riot cops with military-grade hardware on campus.
But when I see that shot, I just can't help but think of a totalitarian fascist police state.
Basically an actual problem.
There's a lot of look what you made us do vibes in this whole thing.
Look what you're making us do.
But they don't realize how there's so many things that look cool to them or that just look really bad to anybody with any type of analysis of anything.
They're trying to use the shots of riot police as scary imagery, but they want the scariness to translate to the kids in t-shirts holding signs on the other side of them.
Can you believe how violent these people are?
We had to call in the jackbooted thugs.
We normally don't respect them.
There's some really great sound work.
Just to jump ahead again one more time, during the Berklee, during the shots of the Berklee Riot, one of these montages, somebody throws a firework, a small firework, a smoke bomb, into the balcony where there's security and stuff, and the music score hits a boom.
Yeah.
As that explodes, and it's like you can hear the actual audio still, and here there's no actual boom, but like the music, the score is just like boom, and they do like a little fake rattle on the lens, and it's just like, but you can see like that there's no shrapnel flying off of this.
No, it's a fire crate.
It's like an M80 or something.
There's like a little spark, and there's like smoke, and that's it, and it's so funny.
A lot of this documentary is B-roll or like, I don't know, artistic shots of the subjects of this documentary, which I mean like Dennis Prager or Adam Carolla or, you know, what's his name?
Dr. Jordan B. Peterson.
Jordan Peterson.
Walking in slow motion or doing other things in slow motion.
And the first one of these is Dennis Prager slowly smoking a cigar.
Like kicking back, slowly smoking a cigar.
You know, slow motion.
Smoke hazing in front of his face.
And so much of these, like, you know, impressionistic or, like, flavor, you know, shots are, like, close up and again in slow motion.
And it's just, like, astounding how repulsive all of these figures are.
And that they're willingly putting them in high-definition close-ups in slow motion so you can just see every single pore on the albino toad that is Dennis Prager.
Has no clue that he looks just like the bad guy from Space Jam.
Like, that's...
He's just chomping on a cigar, just, like, suited down, just looking just like this bad...
I mean, that's the historic bad guy, right?
Is, like, the bad landlord who's trying to kick the orphans out, you know?
Is this, like, guy rubbing two coins together, laughing maniacally, and, like, smoking a cigar.
Let's chill with the rubbing two coins together thing.
Yeah.
Well, no.
He's a good guy.
He's a good guy smoking a cigar, just like Archie Bunker was a good guy smoking a cigar.
And, you know, we remember the classic heroic character of Archie Bunker.
And that's what he's kind of indicating here.
We get Dennis Prager and Adam Carolla walking up to their mics in slow motion in some sort of garage type atmosphere, like rock and roll playing.
Oh no, you know when they're in a garage.
Yeah.
Well, this is like a big warehouse type thing.
But you know when it's a garage because they're like, look at my garage with all of my cars.
There's other shots with cars in them.
Very cool cars.
It's like that scene in Armageddon, but instead of a spaceship, it's a chair and a microphone.
Adam Carolla and Dennis Prager, they're like, you know, they cut in scenes of them actually, you know, on this campus tour, this like no safe spaces tour.
And one of Adam Carolla's bits is, everyone asks, why are you friends with Dennis Prager?
And it's like a joke because everybody can see Dennis Prager and they're like, yeah, why are you friends with this reptile?
Yeah, what are you guys doing?
How do they chug beers again?
Remember that?
Like chugga lugga or something like that?
You guys chug beers like that?
You and Dr. Prager?
I don't remember that.
What is that?
The man show, they chugged beers in a special way.
They sang a song.
That's right.
That's right.
They tried to drink as much beer as possible, and sometimes they did.
Sometimes they did.
Multiple beers.
He says, why are you and Dennis Prager friends?
And the funny part to me is like, yeah, why would anybody be friends with Dennis Prager?
But what he means is like, you have nothing in common.
You're a handsome comedian.
Whereas Dennis Prager is like an elderly statesman of history and knowledge.
And then his joke is like, as if...
As if, I don't know, both our moms were named Connie and we had that in common.
That would make us more likely to be friends?
Man, that's one of his jokes that I'm just like, what is this joke?
He's not...
I don't get that joke at all, but he's into it.
He's super into it.
He's trying to find a frivolous commonality that would...
Instead of the really obvious ones, like, we're both rich white men in America.
Yeah.
We both have dog shit for brains and have become incredibly successful for it.
Did they talk about where they meet?
Because they probably met at a car auction.
I think they met in the intellectual dark web, which you need a tour browser for.
You need an invite.
Adam Carolla says something like, common sense and values should trump everything.
Right?
Everything.
Like what?
Common sense and values should trump everything.
Like, it should trump LGBT. It should trump Chicano.
It should trump black.
It should trump Trump.
That's all we should be focused on is common sense and values.
I will like to point out that he does not actually say it should trump white.
I just want to make that very clear.
He said Trump though.
Yeah, but, I mean, you know, shout out to some later stars in the movie.
You know, Trump is not exclusively white, you know?
You need to say it in this context.
You need to say white.
I did think he was going to give, like, a perfunctory, like, you know, it should trump LGBT. It should trump, you know, working class, you know, whatever he thinks he is, you know?
Yeah.
It should trump being a good Christian, you know, or whatever.
But he doesn't even do that.
He just says all the left things.
Chicano, of course, being left.
It should trump Chinese, you know?
What Confucius say?
How about what constitutions say?
Right?
The Chicano one's good though, because he does qualify that later on.
He lets you know he can say that one.
And it's just like, yeah, common sense and values.
That's what we should focus on.
And it's like, what values do you think you share with the left?
Yeah.
What values do you think the left should focus on that you would find common ground with?
And also, just to say that, is to say that there's some science to values.
There is some finite guide to the rules and laws of values.
But that's kind of the whole point, is that that's not what's happening here.
But you can't do that.
No, no.
It's common sense and values.
It's what it is.
It's obvious.
Yeah, and this is where Adam Carolla calls his own mom a welfare queen.
Oh my god.
Any type of Adam Carolla recalling his life is just incredible.
And this part with his mom is so fucking wild.
He talks about how his mom is on the dole, and she gets food stamps, and he's like, as a kid, and it's like animating this.
No, this one's live action.
It's like a live action Adam Carolla stand-in baby, 12-year-old or whatever, who's like, Hey, Mom, why don't you stop being a leech on society?
Yeah.
He literally says, why don't you get a job?
He sings, nah, nah.
He sings some offspring to her.
And she's like, that song sucks.
You're a fucking loser.
And he's like, no mom, this is punk rock.
And she's like, you have no fucking idea.
You don't understand.
You're 12, it's okay, but this is not punk rock.
He says, why don't you get a job?
And she says, if I get a job, then I'll lose my welfare and won't have enough money to pay the house.
Like...
It doesn't make sense the excuse or the like trying to demonize her because it is like he says she gets the house.
Yeah.
She gets the house for free and she gets food stamps for free but if she got a job she would lose that.
It's like what job is she going to get that's going to pay for a fucking mortgage and pay for food also?
And he's also like, he doesn't say he's gone for wanting, he just wants better of what he has.
He's like, Mom, you can get a good car.
You can get a job, you can get a good car.
We can eat good food.
And it's like, you're not saying you're hungry, you're not saying you don't have a car, you're saying you want the nicer versions.
I remember growing up, having a mother who just had no drive, no sort of maker.
She was more of a taker.
We grew up without a McLaren.
We grew up without a McLaren.
We didn't have a Lotus.
Nothing.
She didn't have it in her to do what it took to get the nicer things in life.
Get us a decent car.
I bet that is why he has four super sport cars in his garage right now.
He just looks at them at night and jacks off and cries.
He's like, fuck your Camry, mom.
I have every car ever now.
Also, I was like, man, you only have one dirt bike, huh?
You only got one dirt bike when you were a kid, huh?
You didn't get a new one every other year?
It wasn't that bad for a dude at all.
Prager talks about his childhood.
We get glimpses of this from their live speeches at college campuses.
Prager says, I would be playing stickball in Brooklyn.
And some kid would say something unbelievably stupid.
And we'd all go, would you just shut up?
And he'd say, this kid would say, it's a free country.
Freedom of speech here.
I'm freedom of speeching over here.
And you know what?
That would shut us up.
Yep.
Yep.
Which is like just saying that Dennis Prager was like stupid.
Oh, you know what?
He's right.
We all hate this kid, but he's got freedom of speech, so we're not allowed to tell him to go away.
Yeah, yeah.
But I love how this kind of illustrates how stupid the whole movie is.
This one story is like the projection of the whole rest of the movie where it's like, hey, you can't tell me to shut up because I can say whatever I want.
Which is the whole argument here.
Where it's like, I can say whatever I want, but you can't tell me to shut up.
Which is like the whole basis of this entire movie.
No matter how unlikable I am, you have to listen to me.
Exactly.
And Dennis Prager is apparently the kind of person that that argument works on.
You can be just assaulted with the most inane garbage and worst personality ever, and you say, well, it's a free country.
And Dennis Prager goes, fuck, alright.
Alright, keep going.
Sorry.
I guess legally you can do that.
I'm going to leave now because I don't want to violate your rights.
Another part of this is the argument that you're not allowed to be heard on college campuses or at your place of work.
This is a...
They throw that your place of work in there.
They kind of try to tie it in, you know, with these professors who get canceled or whatever, who happen to be working on college campuses.
Um...
But again, you're not allowed to be heard on college campuses.
Read that as I, Dennis Prager, am not allowed to be heard on one of 40 college campuses I requested to speak at.
The place of work thing is funny because what they mean is that at your place of work, you should be allowed to speak loudly about your opinion about the various ethnicities without getting fired.
Whereas I don't think they're going to...
Defend you telling your boss he's a fucking jackass.
I don't know if they're going to defend that right.
They're not.
Unfortunately, I don't know.
Didn't Michael Moore make that documentary?
Isn't that what got him his start?
Is that documentary about unions?
I don't know which one you're talking about.
There is Roger in me, but he told an empty chair that it was a jackass in that one.
Yeah, I don't know.
But...
I don't know.
We should start doing that.
We should just start picking universities and just complaining about how they have not facilitated us a platform to speak on.
And just really going after them until they facilitate that.
And we can do a college campus tour that way.
Yeah, it's just...
It's funny going back to the...
The site of armed, heavily armed, heavily, you know, armored police on campus.
We're in the midst of, like, you know...
I don't know, two year, three year long series of ongoing protests.
Giant scale protests where cops are just beating the shit out of people for marching in the street, for holding a sign.
Genuine assaults on the principles of free speech.
And again, this movie, this documentary is about Dennis Prager getting his conductor's gig at a local symphony boycotted by like three people.
That story was so fucking disappointing.
But then you look at it and you're like, yeah, of course nothing came of that.
It's a symphony.
It's rich people.
This is not the spot for that.
Also, what was that?
Does he have like a music background?
Is that a thing you can just do as like a celebrity?
As like an intellectual?
You can just say, I can just go, can I do that?
Can I go?
I want to do that.
That's a dream.
He says he's been conducting since he was like 15 or he's had an interest in conducting since he was a teenager.
I've had an interest in conducting since I was about 9 years old.
I've been interested in it for like most of my life.
It reminds me of that, I think it was Boston Public, the TV show, one of the teachers who was like the most insufferable teacher that like everybody hated, who had like serious power fantasies, like serious control issues, would like conduct two albums at his home.
That was one of his hobbies.
I can see that.
I can see that being a thing.
I can see it being like wanting to be a conductor.
That feels like you don't want to play an instrument.
You don't want to learn a skill.
You just want to tell other people to play instruments.
That's like the most pretentious, shitty, asshole version of playing air guitar is conducting a symphony that's being played over your speakers.
Because there's no way you know what you're doing.
There's no way that you have a grasp on music theory and choose to wave a chopstick in the air rather than actually sit down at a piano.
I'm sorry, even if you do know how to do it, that's not cool.
Yeah.
It's less cool.
It's endearing if you're a dumbass and pretending to do it.
That's cooler to me than actually learning how to do it.
Again, you're like conductors.
They're the managers of music.
They're like the supervisors of music.
I'm not into it.
Man.
Cancel all conductors.
You're not producing anything.
You're just reaping the benefit.
You're like a capitalist within the music world.
You're the musical equivalent of a capitalist.
I'm sure it's just because I don't understand that stuff, but I'm pretty positive that you can play music without a conductor.
The only cool conductor was Bugs Bunny in that one episode of the Looney Tunes of Merry Melodies where he made all the musicians, I think it was specifically Elmer Fudd.
No, it was an opera guy.
He made him sing really, really high and loud for a long time.
That's the only cool way to conduct, is to fuck with people.
I think you're right.
It's got to be like Whiplash.
It's gotta be like a sadist, masochist thing.
What we're talking about here is there's like a thread that goes throughout the documentary about Dennis Prager is doing like a guest conductor spot at some Walt Disney orchestra.
I don't remember what city, nor do I care.
And a few of the musicians in the orchestra say they're gonna boycott.
And this is like the coolest guy.
Whoever's on the radio with Dennis Prager is 100% the coolest guy in the documentary.
Dennis Prager has the guy on who said he was going to boycott.
He's some musician in the orchestra.
Said he was going to boycott.
Said he encouraged others not to attend.
And Dennis Prager says...
Dennis Prager's really mad about this.
He's like genuinely mad about this.
He's fuming, yes.
He says, you say you're not shutting down the show by boycotting, but you're telling people not to go.
That shuts down the show.
And the guy says, no it doesn't.
You can still play to an empty room.
Yeah.
Which I love.
I love the energy behind that.
I wish it was fucking true.
I wish that was true so bad.
Well, it was never going to happen because he was a celebrity and he was...
He's a celebrity and he was like...
You know, it would be like if Ben Shapiro said he was going to throw out the first pitch at a ballgame.
Of course his YouTube subscribers would go to that ball...
Go to the first fucking baseball game they had ever been to, you know?
No, it's like I recently got into it with some local small business owner, and I told her, she's like, you can't cancel me.
I'm like, no one's trying to cancel you.
There's enough fucking idiots and anti-vaxxed people in this community to where your business is going to be fine.
No one's going to cancel you.
Calm down.
Plus, you're married to a cop, so you'll still have health insurance if your business goes out.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
But it ended that way.
They were like, well, you know, no matter how hard they tried, they actually sold out that night.
The whole place was sold out.
And like, what sucks is I feel bad for that musician who boycotted it because when you look at the musicians on the stage, they're like so stoked.
Yeah.
They're like excited about it.
And it's like, man, those are your co-workers.
That sucks.
Yeah.
That sucks so bad.
Well, you have to think about what kind of background it takes to study music your whole life and go to Juilliard and shit to get whatever job in this orchestra.
It's a class thing, for sure.
Absolutely.
But there are four empty seats in the orchestra.
At least four empty seats in the orchestra.
But what you're talking about is there's a voiceover This is like the climax of the movie, so, you know, whatever, we're going very out of order here.
This is like, not the climax, but like the resolution of the movie, where he gets to conduct, and there's a voiceover that says,"...a planned boycott of tonight's symphony seems to have backfired, as there is an empty seat in the house." And this is one of several fake news broadcasts that they insert in the audio track over footage.
No fucking local news was covering the will-they-won't-they story of whether or not Dennis Prager's conductor's gig was going to sell out.
These are literally PragerU audio clips.
That's what they are.
They use that same production staff to do this.
Like you said, it's supposed to sound like evening news, but it's so clearly not that, because it has such an obvious bias.
But it's so funny how mad Dennis Prager is at this person daring to boycott, and how this is what he considers...
An assault on free speech.
This orchestra player's boycott is an assault on Dennis Prager's free speech, which he seems to think correlates to him getting a gig at this Walt Disney Orchestra, which is, I don't know, pretty similar to getting a gig speaking at Berkeley or getting a gig speaking at Cal State Northridge or whatever.
These are things that he feels entitled to, If anybody disagrees with that, that's an assault on his free speech.
We're not treading new territory.
This is a common trope when it comes to what they're talking about when they really say their free speech is being assaulted.
They're not talking about...
Cops arresting them for holding a sign or for marching in the streets or for posting subversive things online.
They're talking about not enough people like me.
Yeah, that's kind of why I like the phrase de-platforming.
Because I think that's a better turn of words because you're not being silenced.
They're just saying, can we not facilitate this?
Can we just not help it out?
That's really the ask.
The ask is, can we not help it out?
Can we not give it a platform?
But no, they're saying, no.
If I'm not giving an auditorium, you're throwing a muzzle on me.
Yeah.
And it's, and I mean, it's just, this is like a very good indication of just, just how mad he is that somebody that, you know, four people out of the 30 people, you know, orchestra don't like him and don't want to, and of their free will, don't want to fucking participate in his little, you know, his little wand shaking ceremony.
He, one of his quotes is he's like venting in the car while he's driving to the 90s.
They're not going to attend their own orchestra to raise funds for their own orchestra.
It blows my mind.
Yep.
Yep.
I love that.
I love that moment.
It's so good.
And it's like, well, is them not being there actually denying funds to the...
No.
Like, they're still getting money.
And anyway, it's like...
I kind of respect it.
It's kind of like a very shitty move, like imposing yourself.
Like, you're a controversial figure, to say the least.
But you're like, you know, I'm going to do this thing that I really want to do that I know, like, people are going to be, you know, pissed off at me for or whatever.
And then I'm going to donate the proceeds to them.
Yeah, it's a good flex.
It's a real good flex.
It would be a good flex if he weren't so whiny about it.
Oh, the whiniest.
Like, the whininess gives away that you're only doing the donation to, like, cover your ass.
Yeah, yeah.
You shouldn't have said anything.
You should have just done it.
I can't believe they still don't like me, even though I'm doing this thing.
That should have been said in a voiceover.
The voiceover should have been like, and even after all that, Dr. Prager still donated the funds to the orchestra.
That's how it should have gone.
But what's funny about the whole part about the orchestra not showing up to the orchestra, fundraiser for the orchestra...
It kind of goes counterintuitive to everything else in this video where it's like it's literally trans students protesting someone who's going to come to their campus to say that their lives don't exist.
So it's like the opposite, right?
So yeah, of course this is the orchestra showing up to the event that is trying to cancel the orchestra.
And that's the rest of the movie.
This is the one example where he's like, we were just trying to benefit them.
But the rest of the movie is the opposite.
The rest of the movie is the orchestra saying, hey, we exist.
No, totally, because this is like...
I don't know, conducting or whatever, it's like, you know, you could say it's apolitical or whatever.
Yeah, it's not a screed against the orchestra.
I mean, like I said, I think any, you know, no gods, no masters, no conductors.
So I don't know if I agree that it's not political, but I see what you're saying.
So they get canceled at Cal State Northridge.
They're booking.
Cal State says, hey, you're not booked here anymore, which anybody who's been in a band before knows that that's the worst thing that could possibly happen to you.
Understandably upset.
They get cancelled from Cal State Northridge and Adam Curl is like, hey, well, my mom graduated from there with a degree in Chicano Studies, so I guess that's all you need to know about both her, parentheses, my bitch mom, and Cal State Northridge.
So I reached out to a friend of mine who, like, is heavily involved in Cal State Northridge.
And I was like, hey, what can you tell me about when Adam Carolla and Dennis Prager tried to speak there?
And he was like, what?
That happened?
That's the correct response.
Yeah, they actually have a long history of being fairly progressive.
They have one of the longest running Chicano studies programs in California, even.
And they've been kind of on top of that.
So them speaking there was kind of a far-fetched idea in the first place.
Sounds like they basically were like, hey, let us speak here.
And they were like, no.
Well, a lot of these come from the five-person Republican group on campus demands their right to get fucking Joey Gibson from Patriot Prayer on stage or whatever.
Yeah, that's exactly what it was.
That's the one where I would be like, yeah, Joey Gibson and Patriot Prayer are not allowed on the campus or whatever.
But it's like, if Ben Shapiro or Milo Yiannopoulos is going to come speak, I'm not of the mind where I would be like...
This is a line in the sand.
Like, I would be like, well, my college sucks, obviously.
Like, young Republicans fucking suck.
And, like, Milo Yiannopoulos just fucking did a parlor post about how nurses, female nurses...
The devil is smiling every time a woman becomes a nurse.
Because...
Because women...
Female nurses are like inherently domineering.
They only become nurses so that they can have control over a man's body.
Because they're childless and barren.
Incredible.
So they can't have their own sons to beat and burn their little wieners on the stove or whatever.
So...
They become nurses so that they can beat down men.
And yeah, he ends the post with like, the devil is laughing every time a woman chooses to major in nursing.
I love it.
I love it.
I can't help but love it.
Like, please come speak at my college.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Come let me laugh at you, please.
You know, but again, like, you can't really criticize these kids, these young adults, for, like, reacting...
Negatively to people like that.
Maybe it's not productive.
Maybe it's not the best way to react.
Maybe it's a small problem in the scheme of things.
But it happened.
It's going to happen.
And it happens.
And the bigger problem is obviously the right-wing freaks who control the government.
Control local municipalities.
And...
The actual levers of power.
Yeah, and, like, the funny thing about this is, like, this is all through the lens of, like, free speech, right?
Where, like, when's, like, free speech the most apparent is, like, during protests?
And it's, like, so they're just mad that their own poison is getting used against them, you know?
And, like, powerfully, I guess?
But ineffectively, as, like, the end of this documentary shows, in my mind...
Well, I think the difference between, like, what it means to be silenced as a conservative is when you are talking to a leftist, you're talking to, like, a liberal or a leftist, and they go, huh, what, huh, what, while you're trying to talk and you can't, like, say it.
It, like, mind freaks you too much.
Like, that's like having your freedom of speech taken away.
Yeah, that's the same thing.
That's a lot of the clips is, like, that professor, like, arguing with students.
And the students are like, shut the fuck up, dude!
Shut up!
And he's like, boom!
And he, like, pouts about it.
And that's like him being silenced or whatever.
It was like, at that moment, I knew we weren't in America anymore.
It's like how it felt.
It's just some girl being like, shut the fuck up!
I don't want to hear you anymore!
I want you to lose your job!
And he's like, no!
And it was crazy how the Olympia School for Fancy Arts actually changed the Constitution, amended the Constitution that day by unanimous consent, by a floor vocal vote.
They said, I didn't have free speech anymore.
Some of them didn't say it because they couldn't because they didn't have it anymore.
They bring up several instances where professors got chastised, ostracized on campus, and they do this with bringing up as few details as possible as to what the professor actually did.
So the way they present this is like...
One Yale professor decided to speak out against campus guidelines on what was appropriate Halloween costume wear.
And said that, hey, we're all adults, we can decide for ourselves.
So vague, I love it.
You really have to read between the lines, but essentially, I'm guessing here, but I don't think there's any way that I'm wrong.
No, you're on it.
This Yale professor came out in favor of blackface.
In a school-wide email, I believe that's what happened.
But they'll never say that on this documentary.
Free speech includes me taking soot and rubbing it all over my face and then doing a dance with cut-off capri pants.
This is all part of my free speech.
Carrying multiple watermelons.
What's funny is they do say it because Adam Carolla says that joke to Dutch Prager that totally flops, and it's incredible that they kept it in there because it does not hit at all.
It's one of the few jokes he told, so they had to keep it in there.
It's incredible because Adam's like...
Dennis Prager's like, yeah, so we just kind of said, you're adults.
You can choose what you want to be for Halloween.
And then Adam Carolla says, yeah, because last year you decided to dress up as Kevin Hart.
And that caused quite a...
And realize there's no reaction when he says Kevin Hart.
And he's like, you don't know who Kevin Hart is.
And then Dennis Prager's like, no, I know who he is.
It's just not a good...
He says, I'm aware of...
I'm aware of who Kevin Hart is.
I'm kind of aware of who Kevin Hart is.
Oh, but it's cultural appropriation either way.
And Adam Kroll's like, yeah, you got it!
You got the joke that I did.
And that joke is supposed to be that all costumes are cultural appropriation.
Which is like, great.
And then also, Kevin Hart has a part in this movie...
Kevin Hart is featured in this movie.
I don't know if it was that early in production this part was shot, but Kevin Hart is featured in this movie when the whole thing happened with him and the Grammys.
Yeah.
And it's like, you fucking know exactly.
It's just not a good joke.
Why did you leave it in there?
Another, like, kind of joke that Adam Carolla tries to do is, you know, they're in front of an audience and he says, Dennis is the least bigoted person I know.
He doesn't care who's listening.
He will simply speak the truth as he knows it.
He's able to piss everyone off.
Like, that way.
And there's, like, a big cheer and applause.
And again, it gets to, like, the ideology here, which is, like, not so much an ideology as it is a personality.
Yeah.
It's DGAF, bro.
Kind of.
It's all these people are right-wing for sure, but the defining characteristic of them is that they're uncomfortable to be around.
Totally.
They're too real.
They're just too real.
You see Ben Shapiro a lot in this.
You see him ranting, him dipping his head and in his own zone, ranting at a rapid pace with no concern for how the audience is interpreting what he's saying.
No concern for a presentation or for...
Like a connection.
You know what I mean?
Like making a connection with the audience.
That is like something that I guess Adam Carolla is trying to do and doing okay at.
Something Dennis Prager is trying to do and doing much more poorly at.
And then nobody else has like that sort of empathetic state of mind where you are receptive to other people in the audience.
Yeah.
Until we get Jordan Peterson, right?
Jordan Peterson is at his most distasteful or obnoxious.
Totally, yeah.
Abrasive.
It's so abrasive.
like I've seen Jordan Peterson be like calm and somewhat thoughtful and compelling and you know his ideas aren't any better that way but I wonder how much of that is like stagecraft or you know AV shit you know the editing that sort of thing because yeah seeing like an unfiltered uncontrolled Jordan Peterson interview view is like really fucking uncomfortable.
It's like the uncanny valley.
You're like looking at the uncanny valley of people who don't know how to act human.
Yeah, because the whole thing with like Ben Shapiro is Ben Shapiro's whole thing is like listen, I'm going to say things that don't offend, that are going to offend you.
And the thing is that you need to be okay with that.
You don't have to agree with me, but you don't need to fight back against it either.
You just need to be okay with it.
And he's doing all these things that are basically like...
Kind of making our point for us.
And Jordan Peterson has a line in here that I think does that the best of this entire movie.
That it says a lot about this whole movie because it made it to the film.
Is when he's debating with somebody on a radio show or TV show or something.
And Jordan Peterson says, see that's the problem.
People like you seem to be too concerned about other people being hurt.
Which is like...
That kind of speaks about this whole documentary.
Yeah.
Because this whole documentary is...
This documentary should have been called Fuck Your Feelings.
Yeah.
Well, they tried...
That would have been the truth about it, right?
Because the whole thing is like...
Jordan Peterson at that point says...
See, that's your problem is you have empathy.
Right?
You care about other people besides yourself.
That's your problem.
He didn't say those words.
He says the previous where he says that's the problem with your argument is your argument seems to be based on other people not getting hurt.
On other people's feelings not getting hurt.
And it's just like thank you.
Yeah, exactly.
Is that a bad thing?
But that's this whole movie.
And it's great because they don't realize how fucking heartless they are.
There's an attempt to shoehorn this assault on free speech or whatever into a right-left dynamic.
Obviously these are all right-wing people, and the reason they have such a problem with speaking on college campuses is because they're right-wing freaks whose ideas are not accepted by even the majority of adults.
Among any demographic, let alone young, hip college students.
But there's an attempt to extrapolate the idea of free speech into an idea of collectivism versus individualism.
And you'll see that kind of shoehorned throughout this documentary.
I'm trying to remember where I was going with this.
They have a historian, some historian, throughout this documentary that they're appealing to.
And he says, free speech is unique.
You know, normally, humans, we don't like to tolerate dissenters.
We like to behead them, burn them at the stake, run them out of town.
It's funny, this equivocation of vocal dissent...
To, like, political action.
There's a line that I really love that kind of is super ironic and beautiful about that, about this whole documentary.
And they're talking about how, like, listen, free speech is, like, the First Amendment is not meant to defend...
Love speech.
It's meant to defend hate speech.
Which is beautifully ironic considering the fact that being gay in America has only been legal for the smallest amount of time.
You literally could not talk about your love without losing your job.
I was just reading a thread about somebody who in the late 90s...
Graduated high school.
Decided to join the army.
Joined the army.
Went to boot camp.
Got a scholarship.
And got the scholarship paid for through the army.
And then came out after becoming an officer.
And had everything taken away from him.
And had to pay for his schooling after that.
And they're talking about how like, listen, love speech has never been censored.
And it's just this total reiteration, this total revisitation of American history.
You love to watch how self-serving they are and how unaware they are of all these things.
They're like, no, listen, it's not about...
We can show all the love, but you've got to let the Nazis say their things.
They keep talking about Nazis.
And he loves talking about Nazis because he's like, I've written Jewish books.
My family were Jewish.
My whole forever been Jewish ever since the beginning of time.
And so we know pain.
So I can be as hateful as I want.
It's wild to watch.
This whole revision of history and just making things good for yourself and your own storytelling.
That comment is a very common argument.
Why would you need nice speech to be protected?
It's only the bad speech.
But it's just funny because it's made so inartfully in this documentary that it kind of just gets to the crux of what's funny about this.
Because, yeah, he says, it's precisely the speech that you hate or that you find hateful that needs to be protected.
We're fighting for the soul of America.
That's what he says.
The soul, yep.
The soul of America is being hateful.
The soul of, like, and it's like, why?
Like, nobody asks, like, why?
Why do we need to protect being hateful?
I mean, like, you know, just honestly, like, what's good about that?
I don't understand.
When you put it like that, I don't understand your argument.
Well, no, they tell you.
They say, listen, if we tell the Nazis we can't march, then you're next.
Dude, that statement is insane.
He says, I believe we should allow Nazis to march because if we say today to the Nazi, you can't speak, tomorrow we will say to the non-Nazi, you can't speak.
Which I fucking love because he qualifies that with the whole minute speech about how, like, that was a rebuttal to something.
That's what kind of makes it even better.
What was that an answer to?
I think he was talking to the black dudes on the black college campus.
I think that's...
Yeah.
Or no, I think it was the black girl on the other campus.
And he says, listen, like, we gotta let Nazis say what they gotta say.
And let me tell you about oppression.
I am Jewish.
My grandparents were in the Holocaust.
No, he didn't even say that.
He says they were Polish, so take what you will.
So, anything I say from now on, I understand hatred.
And you gotta let the Nazis do their thing.
Which is a wild result of that background.
Like, what the fuck, man?
Like, you should be the number one.
It's like, no, hey, listen.
Once they start wearing uniforms, you gotta start fucking beating the shit out of them.
That's what you're supposed to say.
Yeah.
Once they wear a uniform, kick their ass.
Well, that's what...
But you're not supposed to say, like, let them do it so we can do our thing, too.
That's what's funny to me is, like, about talking about how, you know, oh, humans, when they get people who dissent against them, oh, they start chopping off heads.
And it's because of the power of speech or whatever.
And it, like, neglects, like, actual politics.
It neglects, like, actual struggle for power.
Like, which is why people were killed.
You know, which is why what you're talking about happened.
It's because there were actual struggles for power.
There was an actual like it wasn't just an ideological battle of logic and facts.
It was like, no, who's going to be in charge?
Who is going to dictate the rights of, you know, the population or whatever?
And I guess.
I guess we're just, you know, detached from that sort of struggle.
We're so depoliticized in this country that we can be like, yeah, people had they said too many bad things and like that's why they were that's why they were killed in the war or whatever.
Yeah.
There is a.
Yeah, he says, I believe we should allow Nazis to march, etc., etc.
And then he says, free speech will allow the good ideas to win out.
And then you see an image of Martin Luther King Jr. speaking.
I love it.
I fucking love it.
Martin Luther King, who notoriously won because of his good ideas.
He had good ideas, and he spoke them, and he won the best prize that you can win when it comes to speaking, which is assassination via the FBI. Yeah, it was an honorable discharge.
Like, it's mind-blowing.
It's absolutely mind-blowing.
And the whole thing about this is like, you're right.
If you let free speech happen, the truth will, the cream will rise to the top.
And that's why we're shutting you the fuck up.
That's why we don't want you at our campuses.
That's why we are like, fuck PragerU.
We need to fight that shit.
These are lies and smearing.
That's why you're getting spoken out against.
That's why you had to make this movie.
It's because you're right.
The truth will come to the top.
I mean, it's just extremely indicative of how little persecution you actually face that the number one threat to you is SJWs on college campuses.
Yep.
People who have no power, zero power whatsoever.
So, we get our next cameo in the PragerU documentary, No Safe Spaces.
The best cameo, I think, possible.
Yeah, yeah.
We get Alan Dershowitz.
Alan Dershowitz is one of the many, like, quote, liberals they choose to trot out to show how even liberals are fed up with these babies on the college campuses.
I am going to say a quote from Alan Dershowitz, and I rewound several times to get this quote verbatim.
This is not an exaggeration.
This is not a joke.
Alan Dershowitz, in No Safe Spaces, says, No university should ever create a safe space.
If you want to feel good, get a massage.
Yep.
Alan Dershowitz, famous for being a good friend of Jeffrey Epstein and getting massaged on his plane.
You couldn't make this up.
You could not make this up.
No university should ever create a safe space.
If you want to feel good, get a massage.
If you want to feel good...
Get a massage.
If you want to feel good, do this thing that put me on the flight logs.
I don't think universities should do anything to protect their students.
I think it should be just a free-for-all.
You know, go out there and get knocked around a little bit.
Listen, where I come from, there's an old saying.
And that saying is, no clit in the pit.
If you don't want to get pushed around, don't join the mosh pit.
No pussies around here.
This is all satirical.
This is me saying a bad thing that they would say.
Okay.
I still don't think you should ever joke about anything like that.
About mosh pits.
That's a hallowed ground.
It's a genderless.
You're right.
There's no gender to a mosh pit, dude.
I should have at least put on some basketball shorts before I said that.
I just think it's ridiculous that we're allowing universities to create safe spaces or to create emergency phones with the blue lights on them where you can contact if something bad is happening.
It's life.
Bad stuff is going to happen.
You might get picked up by a billionaire and forced into being a flight attendant.
It's just going to happen.
Forever.
Yeah.
And I do think there's a problem with marketing.
Maybe safe space is the wrong choice of words.
Maybe they should have been like idea zone.
Because the thing is like colleges are very dangerous.
Colleges are very rough places to be, especially if you're any type of minority, whether it be not a white man or anything like that.
So maybe they should have rebranded Safe Space.
That's kind of an over-promise.
I mean, the term Safe Space is one of those things, it's like Black Lives Matter that's been just co-opted to mean everything.
Yeah.
Safe Space was, like, originally, like, you know, a fucking classroom, an empty classroom.
You know, people could, like, convene in to, like, talk about their problems, talk about to each other, like, you know, to other, like, people who felt vulnerable and whatever.
And then, you know, fucking Starbucks came along and was like, we are Safe Space 2!
You should fucking buy our coffee and talk about how hard it is to be trans in our coffee shop, because that's the kind of space we provide.
And then it said in very, very fine print, unless you're unhoused, then don't come in here.
Do not use our soap.
Campuses were like, oh, the whole thing is a safe space.
The whole college is a safe space.
And it's like, that's not even what a safe space meant.
That's not what it was at all.
And there's, you know, it's obviously opportunistic for PragerU and other right-wing grifters to pretend that...
Because students want their entire campus to be a, quote, safe space.
Safe space gets decoupled from the idea of what it was originally to just be like, oh, I shouldn't get assaulted on campus for being gay.
That's not a safe space.
That's just having security.
Anyway, so a lot of hay is made out of that distinction in this documentary.
Alan Dershowitz says, as a liberal, his biggest enemies are the hard left.
It's pretty cool.
I'm happy to provide that service for him.
He says, Oh fuck, don't you wish?
Which, again, is where the halls of power lie.
The halls of power in the American government, they lie in college campuses.
Well, we do hear from a senator later on, don't we?
I mean, that's a really good segment.
There's a student senator at UC Berkeley, and this is, again, the vague...
I was just doing free speech, and then you find out later it's like they were openly denying the existence of trans people or whatever.
Yeah.
They did a thing where they're like, I was just saying a thing, and they never say what they were saying.
Yeah.
Which, if it was good, you would have led with that.
But the thing that she was definitely saying was that trans people don't exist.
Or like gay people shouldn't be allowed to do PDA on campus or whatever.
Yeah, something awful.
The only clues we have to go on is she says she abstained from voting on some measure at UC Berkeley because of her, quote, Christian beliefs.
And it's like, first of all, you abstained from Because of your convictions?
Interesting choice of words, huh?
Well, okay, there's that.
But I'm talking about you didn't vote no because of your Christian beliefs?
You just decided not to vote?
That's not the big stand.
That's not you going to the cross.
That's you saying, oh, I don't know.
Well, I mean, honestly, giving a measurement blue balls is a flex.
Yeah.
Not saying no, just doing nothing is pretty cool.
She showed up to the ballot and just didn't vote on that measurement.
And then she got...
A lot of people were mad at her for abstaining on the vote.
And she said, It was hard to hear people call me names, like Bigot, calling me a hater.
I was hoping there would be a dialogue, that there would be mutual respect and understanding.
And...
And again, you don't know what this measure was that she abstained from voting on, but again, she talks about her Christian beliefs, and then I think she might allude to LGBT or something in the segment.
It's definitely like an affirmation of gay rights or LGBTQ rights that she abstained from voting on.
And it's very funny that she's saying, I was hoping there would be mutual respect after I denied your existence.
Yeah.
Yeah, I thought you'd be like, hey listen, I know that you don't think I should be here, but maybe we can have tea together.
With a ghost.
I just think you should respectably argue for your right to exist.
And again, this gets back to like, oh, we used to behead dissenters or whatever.
And it's like, well, the people in power beheaded the people that were trying to fight for their rights.
Or the people out of power beheaded the people in power for denying them rights.
It's not about, they said things I didn't like.
And then again, this person didn't lose her job as a student senator.
No.
She just got called a piece of shit.
People were like, hey, you suck!
And she ran to PragerU.
So much of this is like, I use my First Amendment rights, and then people use it back at me.
And I hated that.
Yeah.
We're running long, so I'm going to try to wrap this up.
And I think this is probably a good place to do it.
There's a Schoolhouse Rock parody...
In the middle of this documentary that is completely inexplicable.
I say it's a parody just because it's a recreation of Schoolhouse Rock.
There aren't any jokes in it until the last line.
There's no jokes.
It's full-length rendition of the First Amendment as an anthropomorphized piece of paper.
Singing to a child version of Dennis Prager and a child version of Adam Carolla, which wasn't clear at first.
I think my girlfriend was like, why does that child look like they're 60 years old?
They're like teens.
They're like 13, 14. It's really weird.
Why does that kid look like a somewhat fashionable gay uncle?
With a sweater vest on.
Yeah, they looked pretty good.
The animation's not bad.
But the whole musical number is...
Hey, I'm the First Amendment.
My name's Firsty.
You can call me Firsty.
Well, I'm an amendment and I guarantee your free speech.
Isn't America so great?
It's this musical number that is not...
There's no jokes in there.
There's no, like, twist on it.
Yeah.
It's just for children.
It's just like this, what could only be for children, and I'm just trying to imagine your Facebook uncle watching this and going, fuck yeah, fuck yeah, firstie, lay it down on him.
Tell him how important you are as an amendment.
It's so basic, it's so childlike that it doesn't even really feel nostalgic.
It just feels like it's made for a kid.
Yeah, it's inexplicable in the middle of this until we get to the last line where he says, you know, he says, you can read me in a museum or while you're on the sh...
And he's going to say shitter.
And that's like the first joke.
Uh-huh.
And then the second joke is he gets cut off, the First Amendment gets cut off from saying that because a van with a coexist bumper sticker pulls up and then shoots the First Amendment full of bullets.
Riddles his body full of bullets.
Yes.
Loads them with lead.
And the amendment is bleeding ink.
And the child, Adam Carolla and Dennis Prager are like, firsty, no!
No!
Oh my god, what the hell is it?
The child, Dennis Prager, is grabbing his hair like, what the fuck is going on?
And it's genuinely funny.
Yeah.
I don't know if you want me to be laughing at this First Amendment getting gunned down like Sonny Corleone.
I'm genuinely worried that somebody from Wonder Shows is cancelled because they made this.
It's so good.
They start shooting the First Amendment and you watch the First Amendment bill get shot.
You're like, what?
And then you see the ink...
Flying out of it as if it's blood.
And then the shooting continues and there's multiple guns from the van coming out.
It's just so incredible and so grandiose.
It makes me think that they're really taking this topic seriously.
They're really concerned with the well-being of the First Amendment.
Yeah, this could happen any minute now.
Like imagine if you're like trying to argue for, you know, gay rights or trans rights or the rights of like the worker and you just have a musical number where, you know, a bunch of trans people get gunned down for like a long period of time in a cartoon.
Yeah.
It's brutal.
It's fucking brutal.
If the blood would have been blood instead of ink, this might have had a different rating.
Anything else we want to talk about before we end this episode?
Just real quickly, I want to touch on a great point that conservatives and right-wingers often make, where they just pick the wrong spokespeople, and there's that comedian roundtable, where it's all these comedians who we don't give a fuck about at all, who haven't been funny for so long because their jokes are like...
They're just too boring and antiquated that we don't care about them, including Jerry Seinfeld, who's wearing these really cool sunglasses.
Did you see those?
They're like tinted glasses.
They're pretty fucking tight.
Jerry Seinfeld.
Are you talking about Seinfeld when he was on the...
Oh, sorry.
No, no, no.
Not Jerry Seinfeld.
It's Tim Allen wearing the sunglasses.
Yeah, I think those are like prescription.
Tim Allen's wearing...
Yeah.
But they're sick.
They have like a tint on them.
They're really cool.
Yeah, I mean, they kind of look like yours.
So I see what you're saying.
But I don't have a tint and they're not cream colored.
I wish they were.
I might get the same ones.
But it's all these comedians who have prepared answers and have Google statistics trying to sound smart.
And there's nothing worse than a comedian trying to sound smart.
And there's 15 minutes of it, and it's brutal.
It's brutal because it's a bunch of comedians talking about...
It's them whining about how people don't like them.
People don't think they're funny.
And they're not funny in that segment at all.
No, no.
They show the clip of Jerry Seinfeld complaining about how he can't perform on college campuses anymore because they don't laugh at him.
It's not because he's barred from it.
It's just because he's not funny.
Because his jokes fucking suck.
And he says the joke about how, oh, you ever notice how people are on their phones and You ever notice how people look at their phones and these phones now, they have a touch screen on them.
You know, you heard of this?
What's up with that?
You heard of this thing, this touch screen?
And then when they go to scroll through their social media feed...
They flick their finger like they're a gay French king.
Yeah!
And when I say this joke on college campuses, they don't react to it.
But you can tell.
They don't like the joke.
But you can tell.
As a comedian, you can tell.
And I could tell they were saying, hey, you're not allowed to say that.
Nobody actually said that.
But you can just tell.
You can tell the mood was, hey, you're canceled for saying that joke.
That's not my favorite joke.
My favorite response to problematic jokes is just telling them, hey, this joke sucks.
Not a good joke.
Because that's really what...
This is not a good joke.
There's a way to make any type of joke is what they say.
They say that.
And he's making no efforts to that at all.
He's like, people get mad that I equate French royalty with being gay.
I don't understand it.
They're so confused by it.
And, like, I love this because there's this old man complaining about not being allowed on college campuses where I was, like, just listening to an interview with some comedian who I don't remember who is funny and, like, good.
And they were talking about how they're, like, 30. And they're like, yeah, I mean, I don't belong on college campuses anymore.
I'm 30. Yeah.
And this is Jerry Seinfeld who's, like, 60. And he's like, why don't the kids think I'm funny anymore?
Why?
Why don't 20 year olds laugh at me hysterically?
Well, it's just no self-awareness.
It's cool, man.
It's cool.
Like, what these people are fighting for is they're fighting because people, again, like I said, they're fighting because people don't like them.
And it's like the same thing when you go to Twitter or you go to Facebook.
Like, if there's a meritocracy in this world, I think social media is probably the closest thing to it.
Where, yeah, sure, you can pay to have followers or to promote whatever, but you can also just say whatever the fuck you want to whoever you want, and if people like it, they like it, and if people don't like it, they don't like it.
And getting that, like, small dose of direct democracy, getting that small dose of, like, direct reaction, you know, I guess from, A, people who were successful, because doing stand-up is a lot like, you know, getting an immediate democratic response.
You get a laugh or you don't get a laugh.
And what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to hone your material based on that reaction.
Yeah.
But when you're Jerry Seinfeld and you're a fucking multi-millionaire and you've been successful, you just come to expect it.
Or maybe you're just not good at it from the very beginning.
Like these suburban dads or suburban moms out there.
It's Mark Zuckerberg's fault that you're not the next viral video on Facebook.
You have no idea how famous I would be if society wasn't so cucked.
I would be huge.
Exactly.
I'd be huge, actually.
I think that's a good place to end it.
Thank you so much for supporting the show.
Thank you for spending this year with us.
We really love you folks.
It's true.
We are eager to see what the next year brings in terms of derangement from both sides, you know.
Yeah, I think it's going to be a really good time for the Minion Death Commandos out there.
2021 is going to be a landmark year, and thank you so much for getting us through 2020. We appreciate you.
You feel alright You should know It's nowhere you go It's all in your eyes Nothing's never good enough I got nothing for you
I got nothing for you No, I don't have the answers You don't need my opinion Cause I never had one In my mind In my mind Never ever ever get the things I want In my mind You say that it's not true And I know that you're lying No, I can't get a word yet
