#674 We're such a minority under attack in the goth scene that we literally risk our lives here. (preview)
TODAY: We say goodbye to Matt Gaetz and marvel at his twitter response to the allegations against him. PLUS: We delve deeper into the darkness of the Conservative Goths Facebook page than perhaps any other podcast to bring you tales of "Can I at least get a hug?" wife guys, more pro-fa rip-offs of antifa graphics, and a young goth concerned for a conservative family member who works for the federal government that DOGE promises to dismantle. Fellow goths ask: can she inform on her coworkers to save herself? ALSO: A Jaguar ad perplexes and infuriates the right wing, but thankfully they discover a Volvo ad into which they can put their hopes and dreams. FOR THE REST OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON DUE TO OUR SCHEDULE, MDC IS PATREON ONLY. SUPPORT THE SHOW AT PATREON.COM/MINIONDEATHCULT FOR ACCESS TO HUNDREDS OF BONUS EPISODES AND A NEW EPISODE EVERY WEEK.
I opened up my email from NotTheBee, which is the Babylon Bee's side, like, real news outlet.
It's like their BuzzFeed, or it's like, you know, The Onion's not The Onion, but not done by fans, just done by the company itself.
Yeah.
But I am subscribed to their newsletter.
And I saw this.
The news cycle is slow this morning, and I assume it's because everyone is watching this beautiful Volvo ad.
I stared at this for like a good 20 seconds.
Because included is a thumbnail of an ad that takes place in a fucking maternity ward.
With like, you know, I guess the dad kissing the mom who's got the baby.
And superimposed in that is a meme that NotTheBee has created that has Michael Scott from The Office...
Steve Carell tearing up out of joy looking at the Volvo ad.
I was like, okay, so NotTheBee is doing a whole article about an ad, but it's good?
And they're like, not mad about it.
Okay, now this I gotta see.
This is interesting.
Phenomenal.
I appreciate it because it's like, yes, if you follow any of these outlets, the number one concern with these white nationalist, racist, sexist dudes...
Our commercials.
That is like who they're seeing in their television ads is just such a big, big part of this culture war.
And I'm glad that they react this strongly to a good ad as well, is what I'm saying.
Like this is showing like principles.
Like me, I would look and be like, oh, you're mad at the Cheerios ad because it's interracial.
That seems racist.
Oh, you're mad at this other car commercial because it has like a really high concept and it features fashion models and colors you don't like or whatever.
That seems a little stupid.
That isn't necessarily, I don't know if it's racist or what, You guys are trying to make it racist, you know?
I'll put that aside for now.
Just in general, I think getting upset about that in general to that degree is pretty stupid, but if you're going to get that happy about a good ad, I can't really argue with it.
It's healthy.
I'm happy you're giving flowers as well.
I'm happy you're finding some joy in things that you hate.
You're mad about the commercials because you like commercials, it turns out.
You do like them.
You just hate the ones you're seeing.
You finally saw one that spoke to you.
Good for you.
I think we're finally winning, guys.
There was a commercial I liked.
You know?
Yeah, I searched a Volvo ad on YouTube and Brett Cooper has a video.
Volvo's new commercial made me cry.
I don't even know where the ad is.
The top ad for Volvo is Jean-Claude Van Damme doing the splits on the two semi-trucks.
Which, by the way, he really did that.
That's a real thing he did.
That's a real stunt.
Jean-Claude JVD forever, you know?
Yeah, here's Benny Johnson.
Volvo drags Jaguar with non-woke pro-life ad.
This shit is so fucking embarrassing, guys.
Is it...
I guess it's, yeah, meet the new Volvo EX90. I guess this is the ad.
Let me put it up on screen for you, Tony.
Because you gotta watch this ad.
Underneath...
The meme they made.
It says, seriously, watch this ad.
Everyone is talking about it.
By everyone.
I mean, Brett Cooper and Benny Johnson.
Probably Charlie Kirk is also one of the numerous people talking about this ad.
Yeah, so we gotta watch it, Tony.
Let me pull it up here.
Meet the new Volvo EX90. It's got 415,000 views.
Okay, that's a good amount of views.
Hey.
Hey.
You okay?
Yeah.
Oh She's pregnant.
Yeah I love it when my car commercials are like worst Netflix marriage dramas.
Yeah, yeah.
This is a really good example of that.
Do you think they're going for the marriage story demographic and accidentally landed on a bunch of white nationalists?
I think that's exactly what they're going for.
They're going for the realities of life and romance and family and instead they just got a bunch of people who were like Fucking freaks.
We got Terrence Malick to shoot the new Volvo ad.
Unfortunately, the comment section is filled with people named Pepe.
Yeah.
Why is the word baby killer all throughout my comments on this car ad?
Oh, it got to the wrong demographic Hey, love Hey, mom How are you guys?
How you doing?
Yeah.
The preview for the new A24 film made me cry.
You need to watch the commercial for the one with Florence Pugh where she dies of cancer.
Right?
And Spider-Man's like, I can climb walls, but I can't cure cancer.
I'd watch that commercial.
I'd buy that car.
Yeah, we're good.
Something wrong?
No, no, no, no, but we've actually got something to tell you.
New car, new car.
My wife bought a new car.
It's a surprise to me.
What if that's what it was?
We've made a new milestone in life.
We've gotten our first Volvo.
That's not what's happening.
That's not what's happening.
The car does not belong to the new wife.
There's a new character entering this storyline who is getting into the new car.
But it's who he's talking to on the phone, right?
No.
Who are these people?
It's a total stranger.
Did you not watch the whole commercial?
No, I haven't seen it yet.
Oh, you haven't seen it yet?
No.
Oh, buckle up.
But yeah, this is amazing.
Also, it is like four minutes long.
I didn't want to be racist, so I didn't want to watch it.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, so that's an entirely different woman who we haven't met yet.
It's four minutes long?
What the fuck are we doing here?
What are you guys doing, man?
Oh, my God.
Okay, so can you just give me the gist of the commercial?
Yeah, so this new couple is found out they're pregnant.
The whole monologue, the dialogue is the husband or boyfriend or whatever, the dad, talking to his mom about how nervous he is and all that stuff.
Normal stuff, right?
And it has a bunch of flash forward of him raising the kid and all that stuff and them having a beautiful life and all this stuff.
But the woman who just said she's pregnant is leaving, going to go for a walk, and there's another woman getting into the Volvo.
Okay.
Okay?
And after, this is the best part, after they have the baby, well, they don't, after they show the baby being born and these flash forwards in time, the woman driving the Volvo is driving and the woman who is pregnant now is about to cross the street and she crosses the street and does not get hit by the Volvo because the Volvo is so safe.
Okay, never mind.
It's not an A24 movie then.
Exactly, yeah.
And the whole thing is like some of the most important moments of life are the ones that didn't happen.
So the day she got pregnant, she didn't get hit by a car.
She didn't get hit by a car.
She didn't get the abortion.
She didn't leave after only two drinks.
Because the whole time I'm like, oh, this is because Volvo is known for being a safe car.
That's kind of their thing.
They're known for being the safest car you can buy, whatever.
And so I'm thinking, oh yeah, this is a good ad for a family.
