DEATH CHAT 500 - Hand-mogged by a child (06/10/23) (preview)
TODAY: we chat about Teamsters voting to authorize a strike against UPS A YouTuber shares his very normal interpretations of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, and Tony finds out about the Gerudo women and Great Fairies Finally: a prominent white nationalist tweets a Facebook post about her traditional, catholic, federal agent husband leaving her and their child to be even more of a fed Music: Tears of the Kingdom Main Theme Join us live for DEATH CHAT 500 every Saturday at 5pm PST at patreon.com/miniondeathcult
You want to start with the Zelda stuff we couldn't get to on the...
Yeah, also I got a fucking bone to pick with you.
What's up?
About Zelda.
Yeah, let's hear it.
Why is everybody that's trying to sell me on Zelda didn't tell me that at one point you encounter a giantess fairy?
Oh, yeah.
Why didn't you start with that?
It's one of the objectives in the game is to set free all the mommy fairies, and they're like... Yeah, what?
Yeah, if you're not playing, they're great fairies.
They're great, folks.
Big, busty, lusty ladies who help you upgrade your armor by hugging you really tight.
Are you being serious, Phil?
I'm being very serious.
What the fuck, man?
Why didn't anyone tell me about this?
Like, I've been going on Instagram looking at AI-generated muscle mommies, and I could have been playing Zelda the whole time.
Have you seen the Gerudo Warriors, bro?
No!
No one's talking about the Gerudo- I'm gonna look up Gerudo Warrior real quick.
How do you spell that?
G-E-R-U-D-O.
- Why do you spell that?
- G-E-R-U-D-O?
- Gerudo? - Gerudo Warrior?
- Yeah, they're like one of the main four races and it's all just Amazon women.
What?
What?
Yeah.
- Yeah. - We're all so jacked.
What?
What?
This is bullshit.
You know what, when people don't try to sell, now were people not telling me this 'cause they wanted to like respect it or were they just not knowing how to like appeal to me?
It's just something you got to experience on your own.
I feel like it's cheapened It's cheap into the exploration now that you you know Remember when I said Link cross-dresses in Breath of the Wild to get into Gerudo Town, the town of all women.
It's these fucking warriors force femme Link into being like a little submissive twink.
I mean, come on.
Yeah.
Jeez.
That's insane.
Yeah.
Hey Lizzie.
What's up everybody?
Hey Nikki.
Thanks again for joining us.
I'm trying to figure out how in Elon Musk's world I switch my Twitter account.
How do I do this?
Do you click on your little, I don't know.
I don't know.
It used to be easy to do.
I don't use my browser for Twitter.
Oh, it's at the bottom.
It was like covered up because it was off screen.
All right.
We're doing it, folks.
Yeah, I saw these.
Somebody else had some thoughts about Link in Tears of the Kingdom, the newest iteration in the Zelda franchise.
More like Tears in the Kinkdom.
Yeah.
Yeah, a little bit.
A little touch of that.
I don't know who this guy is, but there's like some YouTuber who's a real racist.
On YouTube?
So he's commenting on clips from Tears of the Kingdom.
Give him a wife in the story, I'm not convinced.
Link was already cross-dresser before this game.
Not to mention, an actual child, a bird child, is one of the other sages.
His voice.
Jesus.
He's hand-mogged by everyone.
He's hand- Oh, people can't see it.
The comments are up.
Sorry, everybody.
You have to remind me of these things.
I think it means like raped.
I don't know.
I think it's like the cool word for rape.
I only know the mog from that one extremely cringe woman who's butt-mogging people.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
It means like dominating.
Right?
Accosting.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
No.
This is the one really cringe moment, it's all I know about, so maybe this will give me some context on what the word means.
Let me put the, let me put the video back up here.
Sorry everybody.
I forget, you know, you gotta help me with these things.
Give him a wife in the story, I'm not convinced.
Link was already cross-dresser before this game.
Not to mention, an actual child, a bird child, is one of the other sages.
Hold out your hand.
Jesus, he's hand-mogged by everyone.
He's hand-mogged by a child.
Does that mean his hand has small hands?
Yeah.
He's like getting domed with the hands?
So weird.
Sure.
Yeah, so I think we're like, we think it's queer that the kid is shaking hands with Link.
Gay, gay, gays do be shaking hands.
I think it's like he's grooming him.
Look, he's grooming him through the hand.
He's teaching him a secret handshake that they can use to get around his parents' permission.
Yeah.
Link was destined to be a bottom.
It's over.
It's so over.
And Riju's a Gerudo, and if you've seen any of their Rule 34, you know they're usually sportin' a little somethin' extra.
Come.
That's why I'm- That's why I'm goin' doin' you a bussin' tonight, Link.
Though obviously that's not- Is he doing, I think, a black accent?
I think that was, like, supposed to be, uh, Ebonics.
I'm going to give it a step away.
I think I was supposed to be just gay, which is sometimes, you know, also Ebonics.
No, he's doing like an old timey Ray.
He's doing like a fucking uncle.
Not an Uncle Remus.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Not Uncle Ruckus.
Maybe I did mean Uncle Ray.
He's doing like a fucking Sog of the South voice.
I'm going to doing your pussy tonight, Link.
Though obviously that's not canon, but you get the point, man.
You get the point?
I was looking at porn where he gets fucked by the Gerudo women, therefore you know what they're going for.
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