No I didnt pay for Twitter. I paid for free speech. I paid for 1776 to commence.
This week we catch up on a couple recent stories, with the Supreme Court ruling in favor of the continued sale of an abortion pill (not without some grousing from Alito) and the Creek Karen's marine brother writes beautiful poetry honoring the young woman's fight against public access to water Plus we hear a couple strong but opposite responses to the successful Dominion / Fox News lawsuit and finally we examine the coterie of weirdos shaming celebrities for refusing to purchase the blue check from Elon, and the Babylon Bee origin of Elon Musk's (real) "Save A Celebrity" checkmark fund. ----------------------- Sign up for bonus content at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week delivered straight to your podcast app or browser Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000 with Bryan Quinby; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more. Music: En Attendant Ana - Anita Wes Montgomery Trio - Geno Die Kreuzen - All White
The liberals are destroying California and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today.
So stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Celebrities refusing to pay $8 for a blue check because they think they're better than you are responsible and we're documenting it.
Hey, what's up everybody?
It's your show for the week, Minion Death Cult.
That's the name of the show.
Hey, remember that name, alright?
Got a hundred reasons to remember it.
Four hundred and sixty reasons to remember that name.
That's how many episodes we've done, so.
Don't forget it.
Don't forget it.
It's a fun acronym.
You can just say MDC.
It means a lot of other fun things, you know?
Yeah, write it down.
We got a jam-packed episode.
I wanted to start off with some housekeeping.
Touch base on a story we covered for Patreon for the bonus episode last week, which was the Colorado Creek Karen who bought her dream home next to a public park in Colorado that she thought included a private creek.
But she bought it in winter and apparently didn't look at the history of the plot and was shocked and repulsed to discover that the fairly large creek had been part of the public park for 35 years via a public easement and that entitled members of the community would be using the area for recreation.
Just sickening stuff.
You know, families, dogs, kids, things like that.
Repulsive.
And listening back, that was like my favorite revelation she had.
She's like, and I was looking at records and I realized this place only sells in the winter.
Yep.
It only sells in the winter to people from other states who can't visit or look at the historical records of the property.
Yeah.
Yeah, so she was trying to garner sympathy via TikTok.
We covered a lot of her TikTok videos on that episode and it's just shocking to see like what people how like people responding positively to this tick these tick tock videos she made uh which again were like a lot of them were videos of families enjoying the public park and creek with like her tick tock superimposed over the video looking at the camera with her arms folded and shaking her head
yeah with like sad music over it and And it was like, it was boggling my mind.
I was like, how are people, you know, reacting positively to this?
I mean, she's, she's like a conventionally attractive woman.
She's, uh, cosplaying kind of as a native American through her jewelry and, uh, hairstyles and that sort of thing.
So maybe there's, there's, uh, some element of sympathy there, but it just, it got me thinking about how, how social media like, yeah, social media is great.
At connecting people who would have never met each other, you know, who have things in common and spreading ideas that might not have normally got a lot of press.
And unfortunately, in this case, those ideas are just complete anti-social behavior and a disdain for the public and a disdain for the community around you, because that's like It's the only way this woman who alienated her entire community by trying to prevent them from using the public access to the creek, which again is like way far in her backyard.
It's not like even her backyard at that point.
It's a big ass creek next to a public park.
Yeah that's the only that's it's like it just you can with social media you can like broadcast these sort of like anti-social and psychotic behaviors so wide that it actually finds a sympathetic but like diffuse audience whereas yeah you'd never find this sort of sympathy from the people who actually live around you and have to deal with you because you're insufferable.
Yeah, the people who maybe look forward to enjoying that creek and have looked forward to, you know, enjoying that creek every summer for the past 35 years.
Those people might fall different on their ears for sure.
But the reason I wanted to touch base on this was because WeDrinkBitter on Twitter found one of her tweets that is, we just, we can't ignore this.
She wrote, in times of great test, there is nothing like family to remind us who we are, pull us out of despair, and surround us in love.
My brother, a marine vet who's seen war, wrote this poem for me yesterday while I was on the floor struggling to deal with the quote, reopening of my backyard.
Heart emoji.
I like how that's like important to point out that he is, you know, a veteran of war.
Much like she's a veteran of war.
She's in a war right now.
Uh, posting war and an IRL war where, uh, she, she films her neighbor.
Oh, by the way, we had a subscriber.
Shout out to Murphy K who, uh, is one of our patrons now who says, Oh my God, that's me.
I'm the quote lady on the trail.
I laughed out loud about this, this situation for the first time in two years.
Thanks for highlighting that this is also insane, that it's funny.
Uh, so this person could be lying, but I, I, they have a, uh, honest screen name, Murphy K. Yeah.
It's honest.
You know, I love that.
Well, thanks for supporting the show, Murphy, and thank you for standing your ground as this woman tried to bully you off of the actual park trail while she was walking with a bunch of retired judges and Republican lawmakers.
Oh, it was that person?
That was such a wild... Don't even look at her.
She's one of the people that's against me.
Don't even let them...
Pat, what did she say?
Something shitty like that?
Yeah, she said, don't move for her.
Yeah, don't move for her.
Oh my God.
What an awful, what a, what a witch.
What a real witch of the West.
Shout out to Murphy.
Yeah.
Next, next time this happens, don't be afraid to like dig, dig an elbow or two into some ribs as you go by.
Yeah, all good.
Okay, but yeah, no, my brother, a marine vet, who's seen war, by the way, wrote me this poem so you can't laugh at it.
He has actually seen war, alright?
He also understands what it's like to, like, displace children.
Okay, so she posted screenshots of the family chat where her brother wrote this.
Tara Lynn, which is her name, by the way, Well, that answers a lot of questions we had about how native she might have been.
Yeah, Taralyn, that's a traditional Native American name.
Taralyn, go ahead.
Taralyn stood tall, a woman of might, a noble spirit, a soul of light.
Wow.
Wow.
Fought for her land, her home, her right.
Against a government, dark as night.
Wow.
Wow.
What's amazing is that you're not done, and that's only the first stanza.
And this is a full-ass poem.
They came with their greed, their hearts made of stone.
To take her land, to claim it as their own.
Well, I think, real quick, I think the difference is it's a whole community claiming the land, not for their own, but for everybody.
to use The only person claiming it for their own is you.
They're trying to claim it for everybody.
It's a little different.
But Tara Lynn refused to bow or moan.
She refused to moan in the face of hearts made of stone.
Normally, that would give a moan.
But instead, she merely groaned.
Moan's a weird word to choose, for sure.
For she knew in her heart she wasn't alone.
Yeah, she has insane friends on TikTok.
She has fellow private property rights maniacs on TikTok or Twitter or Facebook.
That's who's in her corner.
Other professional homeowners.
Her spirit was fierce, her will unyielding.
With each passing day, her strength unceasing.
She rallied her people, her voice unrelenting.
Against the corrupt, the power bending.
Why would you fucking write this?
Why would you write this for your sister, dude?
I don't know, maybe I... It is weird, like... I feel like they have, like, this is a weird family.
Yeah, I'm happy he's writing poetry though.
I think that's good.
I think more vets need to write poetry.
Oh, do you think this is like... Do you think this is like the only time he doesn't see the children's faces in his dreams is when he's writing poetry?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
The battle was long, the struggle intense, but Tara Lynn refused to show any hint of pretense.
She stood firm with her head held high.
A warrior of justice.
A leader of the sky.
A leader of the sky?
How did he not work Kreek into this at all?
How is there no mention of a waterway?
She would not hear from the community their lectures for she proud and tall was a water protector.
I'm surprised she hasn't, like, tried to work in water is life.
Or, like, water protector into all this shit.
I think maybe she knows I'd be going a little too far.
I mean, if she did it right and maybe started with that, we probably wouldn't be here.
I'd probably be taking a different angle on this.
But it's too late for that because, you know, she's a big dummy.
A leader of the sky.
Do you think maybe he thinks he's using Native American imagery?
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
A warrior, a warrior, a warrior is definitely an unmatched to that.
Well, it's it's a warrior of justice.
So in other words, I guess you would say a justice warrior, maybe in the social realm.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
But yeah, I like a leader of the sky.
Wow.
That's beautiful.
Wow.
That's that's like real metaphor, you know, because like you can't you can't literally lead the sky, but in like a poetic way, you kind of can, right?
Yeah, you can kind of lead in the sky.
OK, last two stanzas, for though they may try, they cannot break her soul, for Tara Lynn is made of something stronger, a whole.
Uh-huh.
I didn't read that.
Wait, yeah.
Tara Lynn's made of a hole.
And that's pretty cool.
Thanks, brother.
Thanks, big bro.
Or little bro.
I don't know.
I'm hoping this is a little brother.
I'm hoping this is like an 18-year-old.
They say he's seen combat, so maybe he's 19.
He's probably like 35.
Dude, when I was 8 years old, I wrote a poem called, Tonight the Dragons Are Gonna Fight, that was better than this.
Well, I mean, that's kind of fucked up that you pulled that one out, because like, it's called Tonight the Dragons Are Gonna Fight, that's probably better than a lot of poems.
For though they may try, they cannot break her soul, for Taralyn is made of something stronger, a hole.
Her hole was too strong to break, Tony.
Resilient hole.
- Very resilient whole. - The thing is he doesn't have to say A.
Just saying whole with the W, 'cause that's what they're talking about, like entirety.
Sure.
Hole would have done the job.
That's how you do this.
You don't say A hole.
It doesn't make sense either.
She's made of a hole.
As opposed to a half?
She's made of a part?
I don't know.
Her spirit lives on.
A beacon of hope.
For all those who struggle.
Who strive to cope.
She die?
One big cope.
So let her story be known.
A tale of might.
Of a woman who stood up to fight.
Against a monolithic and greedy foe.
An emerged victorious.
A champion.
A hero.
Ooh, that last one, that's the worst one for sure.
That was rough.
Just the cadence, the syllables, all over the place here.
An emerged victorious champion here, I don't think that's going to happen.
Yeah.
I don't, cause I'm saying you, you are getting a little overzealous here.
You, they are, you know, being a bit confident in their predictions here.
I don't think that is going to happen.
Um, and it hasn't happened yet.
And like, maybe it might not end as bad as it could end is what, how you should write this poem is, Hey, this might not be that bad.
This will all blow over soon.
But this guy is, you know, you're going to be like a, you're going to be, your spirit is going to live on and it's going to guide thousands from, for eternity.
Yeah, in a hundred years, they're going to be tearing down statues of Tara Lynn because they can't handle the history, the racist history of the rest of this neighborhood.
We're trying to take a creek away from a woman.
I love the of a woman who stood up to fight against a monolithic and greedy foe.
Again, when you say monolithic, you mean like a bunch of people united under a single cause.
It is your sister.
It causes your sister sucking.
Your sister is the one who is alone in this community refusing to share the creek that had been shared for 35 years, right?
A greedy foe.
They all want the creek to themselves.
Yeah, all of them.
Yeah, whereas I just want the creek to myself.
Like, I don't know.
Anyway.
Funny stuff.
Thank you, Tara Lynn.
This is a good follow.
She's a good follow.
Yeah, Tara Lynn's, you know, the Wicked Witch of the West is like Obviously you're going to see a lot of real stuff, and I want to see more poems from the family.
I want to learn more about her brother.
I do too, yeah.
I want to see them interact in real life.
Yeah, watch out Ivan Moody.
Wicked Witch Maureen.
He's coming for you.
I bet you- I- they're for- this is for sure a five finger death punch family.
Okay, moving on. moving on.
More sort of housekeeping here.
We talked about the attempts to remove the abortion pill off the market.
A judge in Texas had ruled that it should not be FDA approved.
Another judge in Washington said, no, it's okay.
It's okay to be approved by the FDA.
Very weird system we have here.
It finally was heard by the Supreme Court In a, what they call a shadow docket, I believe, where it's like, uh, the stuff they try to handle very quickly without, uh, any sort of fanfare or a lot of deliberation.
They just sort of issue a ruling without a lot of explanation.
Um, it's sort of like a time-saving measure to just get important stuff done quickly.
Uh, this, this was one of those.
Let me find the story I wanted to read here real quick.
I do like that energy that Texas is bringing though.
The FDA was like, we approve this.
It's FDA approved.
And they say, no, it's not FDA approved.
Right.
Because we don't want it to be, even though you just did it.
That was like the full extent of the logic there.
Yeah, it really is.
The FDA saying, I consent.
Somebody buying the abortion pill saying, I consent.
And it's like, well, you forgot to ask this 90 year old Texas judge.
Yeah.
I don't know if he was really 90.
I'm just he he's actually probably like 25 years old since he was Trump appointed.
Yeah.
But OK, so the Supreme Court did rule in favor of leaving the drug on the market, which is good.
But yeah, also when we covered when we covered this story about Washington buying up 30,000 of the mefapristone might be not might not be saying that correctly.
Abortion pills as sort of in defiance of this judge's orders.
I did want to say you can go to plan c pills dot org if you need abortion pills.
Abortion pills that are safe up to 12 weeks of pregnancy.
Safe and effective for up to 12 weeks of pregnancy.
Go to plancpills.org.
And you can get them there or find out information where you can get them So it is legal to ship these pills and them to get access via mail It is a thing that you're allowed to do and not if people know that that's real Yeah, you don't don't like stock up on them don't like take the whole supply or whatever But it's good to have you know one or two on hand in case in case you need them
But yeah, this story that came out after the ruling, I'm reading here from Business Insider, pretty funny.
Samuel Alito used his dissent in the abortion pill ruling to call out three justices in an act of judiciary theater, SCOTUS Expert says.
So, a Supreme Court ruling on Friday ensured the abortion pill Mifepristone can still be purchased and used in the U.S., freezing a lower court ruling that would have effectively banned access to the pill.
Uh, so good.
That's good news.
Um, but even better, uh, Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito are pissing their pants about this ruling, which is, uh, just, you know, the icing on the cake here.
Uh, two justices, Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito publicly dissented with the latter writing an opinion in which he called out the three female justices by name, including fellow conservative justice, Amy Coney Barrett, in an apparent act of judiciary theater.
Um, The case came to the court after a judge in Texas ruled to suspend the Food and Drug Administration's more than 20-year-old approval of Mifepristone.
The Biden administration asked the Supreme Court to grant an emergency request that would protect the FDA approval while the case is still being litigated.
Because it was an emergency request, the case was reviewed under what is known as the court's shadow docket, where they rule upon procedural matters.
Cases that are considered on the shadow docket do not get the same level of review as the other cases, meaning the decisions are accompanied by little to no explanation and often lack clarity on which justices are in the majority or minority.
Uh, don't worry, uh, the fucking diaper babies in the Supreme Court will let you know which ones were against this.
Yeah.
Indeed, while the court says they were granting the Biden administration's request, no explanation was provided by the majority as to why.
The ruling did not specify how most of the justices voted, or even how many justices voted in favor.
Both Thomas and Alito elected to note their dissents, with only one of them explaining why.
For part of his reasoning, Alito focused on the shadow docket itself.
He wrote that the court has previously been criticized for shadow docket decision making and specifically called out three female justices, Elena Kagan, Sonia Sotomayor and Barrett, citing rulings in which they previously objected to using the shadow docket.
Alito, who has defended the court against complaints about the shadow docket.
So he's like trying to do hypocrisy on them.
He likes the shadow docket, but he he's trying to call the the female justices out for hypocrisy.
Maybe he's just saying that they were biased in this matter for some reason.
Who knows why they would be biased?
Well, they're not elected just to represent the abortion-wanting women in their areas, okay?
They also gotta represent the... What about the men who hate women?
Those women gotta represent them too.
That's their job.
I think Amy Coney Barrett might be more unbiased in that respect.
True.
Very true.
Alito, who has defended the court against complaints about the shadow docket of the past, added, I did not agree with these criticisms at the time, but if they were warranted in the cases in which they were made, they are emphatically true here.
There's something personal about the tone of Alito's opinion, Lemieux said, adding it was notable that Thomas didn't join him.
So basically what happened was when Alito has used the shadow docket in the past, it's to upset the status quo.
It's to change the rules around abortion.
Let me see here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lemieux has said Alito has been stung in the past by accusations of abusing the shadow docket, particularly on rulings he has made related to abortion access and religious freedom cases during the pandemic.
Uh, so yeah, I can understand, like, you know, insofar as I have to care about Supreme Court procedural stuff, which, uh, is boring and frustrating, um, and even- almost even more, like, passive poli- political observation, you know, like, watching cable news.
This isn't even- because you can't even, like, vote for Supreme Court justice.
Like, you're so detached from having any sort of say over what these people, uh, do that affect- that affects your life.
It's a very frustrating thing to...
to get too invested in.
But I understand the idea of, okay, we're going to have a shadow docket of just important stuff that's like that needs to be addressed quickly.
And if you're going to have that sort of a system, it seems like you wouldn't want to hinge to two, like upsetting or pivotal groundbreaking arguments in that manner.
You would want to have it more publicly argued and more publicly explained and not just like remove access to something or upset, you know, what previous previous rulings.
So if you're just maintaining and not changing things, I think it makes sense to not make a big scene about it.
But like they said, they were trying to do the opposite.
They were trying to Bring in new rules and get rid of stuff, as opposed to just letting it be what it is.
Yeah.
Alito, I'm sure, very concerned about the safety of Mifepresto.
Very concerned about... I think there needs to be more regulations, I think, is what he would say about this drug, for sure.
Yeah, but good news.
Good news all around.
The abortion pill is not currently banned.
Again, you can look for it at plancpills.org.
And these old fuckers are upset about it.
So it's good stuff.
Did you hear, Tony, about the Dominion lawsuit?
Did you hear about this?
No.
Not at all.
Like Dominion or like Da Minion?
No.
That would be, I guess, even more relevant if it were a lawsuit about Da Minion.
About Da Minions, yeah.
What, like a bootleg Minion character?
Yeah.
Whatever that is needs to go.
Yeah, only we're allowed to do that.
No, Dominion, it's the company that makes and maintains the voting machines.
Oh yeah, yeah.
I always thought that was a wild name for a voting machine company.
It does have a sort of negative connotation.
Maybe, I don't know.
Why don't you just call your company Accurate Votes?
That would be good.
I think they should call it The Lost World.
Dominion, I don't know, it does sound like an Orwellian app that has AI turret guns at the property line of your house.
I guess it is accurate in the sense that, because like Dominion, you know, you take Dominion over something, the Dominion app would probably tell you how to live your life.
And the voting machine does do that.
That's what the voting machine does.
Whatever happened there is going to tell, is going to dictate your life for a minute.
You should have voted.
Should have voted.
Basically, in the aftermath of Trump losing the 2020 election, one of the various things he has blamed his loss on was the Dominion voting machines.
Either that they were hacked, or either that they were just owned by bad people from the beginning.
They were changing people's votes or deleting people's votes, that sort of thing.
Fox News, yeah, spent like all of 2020 and 2021 broadcasting these claims while privately discussing amongst each other how insane these claims are.
And Dominion sued them.
Dominion filed a lawsuit about About these unfounded claims and turns out they didn't even go to trial because Fox News, of course, settled out of court for $787 million.
$787 million.
That's amazing.
That's like...
It's funny because I don't think to either one of those companies, that's probably not that much money, I guess.
Probably to the voting machine company, but not to Fox.
But I do love that.
Like, they were so committed to their, to their story that they knew that they were like, they were lying about something that, you have to maintain the integrity of the idea of these voting machines.
It's pretty important.
Because if not, then you're going to, then you're going to feed the cycles that you are feeding already.
And like, yeah, you can't, you can't just do that.
And I'm happy that they actually, Took action against it.
That's funny to me.
Actually, no, I think we should be actively discouraging faith in the Dominion voting system so that fewer and fewer Trump voters trust them and come out to vote.
Yeah, that's true.
Which does seem to be happening.
Which does seem to be happening.
I heard that actually, like, shocking people who were, like, conservative, they can tell if you're, like, a God-fearing individual.
The machine just shocks you now.
Oh.
I wouldn't want to find out myself.
Yeah.
So this is again, like, like the Trump indictment, you know, but at least before the Trump indictment happened, but like, this is one of those things that I just, I don't really care that much about because it's, um, it's a lawsuit between two different corporations that are somehow like extremely important to our country and our political system, which is very depressing to think about that.
Yeah.
Like a private corporation owns The machines that count our votes?
I don't know.
I know this is basic entry-level analysis, but that sucks, I think.
But yeah, hard to really get invested in this sort of a fight, but I do have newspaper readers in my family.
I have people who pay attention to liberal politics, are steadfastly progressive, and like paying attention to this stuff.
I got a text message on whatever, Thursday or Friday, I guess this was Wednesday of last week.
I won't read it verbatim, but it was like, I just had a sickening thought.
What if Fox News secretly buys Dominion so they don't ever have to go to trial?
They just cancel the lawsuit after buying Dominion secretly.
It's like, well, I don't think you can buy Dominion secretly.
I don't, I don't think you can.
There has to be like a filing of some kind for you to do that.
Yeah.
Second of all, that's pretty elaborate when you can just do what they did, which is straight up give them money, right?
Set it on a court, yeah.
For less money than it would have cost to buy Dominion.
Well, no, that's not quite accurate because $787 million, I believe, is like 10 times what the company is actually valued at.
That's wild.
Yeah.
So are we going to have better machines next voting thing then?
Who's getting that money?
The public, Tony.
The people.
We're all getting that money in the form of free and fair elections.
Yeah.
It's going to be more of a vibe that you're going to feel than actual currency in your account.
It's going to be just more of an energy that's going to run throughout the country.
I'm excited about it.
This text went on to say, like, well, I hope that Dominion doesn't settle and they force Fox News to admit that they lied in court or, like, get a jury to rule against Fox News.
And it's like, again, I love this person, but, like, when has a corporation ever been interested in anything but money?
That is all they're interested in.
Like, how many times, like, you're on the left.
You kind of have to get it through your head at some point that it's not, like, Certain corporations are good and certain corporations are bad.
They are all just trying to make money.
They're neither good nor bad.
They are like elements within a system that point towards making money, right?
And what tends to happen is when corporations make a lot of money, it's oftentimes at the expense of everybody.
Everybody else.
Who isn't there?
And I promise you that everybody involved in this, there were lots of people who are running, you know, cost benefit analysis to figure out if going to court or settling out of court or whatever was all worth it on both sides.
Like there is a reason this is the outcome.
Like there is, and that reason is definitely like money.
Yeah.
And it's just like, even if they did go to court, even if they did lose in court, what is that, what is that going to do?
It's not going to bankrupt Fox News.
Is the judge going to issue damages that would bankrupt?
I mean, that would be cool, but not going to happen.
Yeah.
So, uh, right after I got this text message, I, yeah, looked it up and they agreed to settle.
I was like, Oh, it looks like they're going to settle.
That person was like, well, then that leaves Fox, that lets Fox off the hook.
And it's like, they were always going to get off the hook, man.
I don't, I don't know.
I don't know what to tell you.
Like the, the system isn't going to save us.
The system's the problem, you know?
See what you tell them is like, this is actually a good thing because Fox would have actually stood to make so much money covering this case.
Their ratings would have been so good covering their own case that they actually would have made money if they went to court.
So this is actually Fox losing money, more money than we even see.
Sure.
You gotta think 3D chess here, baby.
Yeah.
Yeah, so you saw a lot of liberals on the internet being like, what?
I can't believe they settled.
How could they do that?
The country depended on them going to court and giving an epic speech about how Fox is untrustworthy and just manipulating their viewers.
They only wanted money?
What the hell?
Um, but there were also some pretty funny reactions on the right wing like DC Drano here.
Uh, this is a guy I love.
He's, he's like always in my feed now.
Like since Elon Musk bought Twitter, I just see this guy.
I don't follow him.
I just see him constantly in my, in my feed.
Um, D.C.
Drano said Fox is apparently settling with Dominion for over $787 million.
Leftists are celebrating.
Good.
Are they?
Enjoy your day.
But just know that legal precedent has now been set.
When CNN-slash-MSNBC-slash-ABC-slash-NPR-etc.
lie about conservative companies, there will be $787 million going the other way.
I guess you are acknowledging that, like, the corporations are a huge factor in the left and right.
What do you mean?
You know, he's saying, he's saying, you know, when, when, when, uh, CNN, MSNBC, whatever, and they lie about conservative companies, that money's going to go to conservative companies now.
So the left's happy now that it's going to the voting machines, which is so funny.
Cause it's that whole thing where they have no idea what like left is at all.
Cause I mean, I, I, I mean, I promise you I'm not over here.
None of we're not over here.
Like yay, the voting machines, the voting machines have integrity.
Yay.
Voting machines.
Um, that's like, what left is that?
But he's saying, well, you know what?
If you're gonna talk shit, guess who's gonna be getting 787 million dollars next time?
Black Rifle Coffee Co.
And then we're gonna see who's gonna win the culture wars.
They love this argument about precedent.
Like with the Trump indictment.
Okay, well, you've had your day, sure, to be sure, the left, laughing at Trump getting indicted.
But this sets the precedent.
Now, we'll be able to arrest other political figures.
Now, other political figures can be charged with a crime.
What's that?
A news media company settled a defamation case?
Wow.
This is the first time in history that's ever happened.
And now it sets the precedent for the future.
Like, CNN awarded that fucking Covington kid, I think it was the Covington Catholic school, was that it?
The kid with the MAGA hat who's like smirking at the old Native American guy?
Oh yeah!
CNN had to pay that kid like a million, a few million dollars or whatever.
Like how do you not remember that man?
That was like one of the most fun days on Twitter for you probably.
Yeah, you guys had a great, and like he said, you know, this, this is, if you're, if you really mean this, then you should, if you're saying what you're saying, then you should be happy about this.
If this really is a precedent, then that means that every time that, you know, any news company does like lie, then they're liable for $787 million, according to your logic.
Just be stoked on that.
If that's really what you feel, then just be happy with that.
Well, that's what he's trying to pretend.
He's trying to pretend that he is happy.
He's trying to pretend that he's laughing actually.
And it's, but again, it's like such the, it's the most loser argument I've ever fucking heard.
Like eating shit to the tune of $787 million and being like, aha, well now the precedent for eating shit has been set.
Your mouth is just full of shit.
You're like, next time you're going to be the ones who are eating shit.
Now, aha, you've played right into my trap by making me fall flat on my fucking face.
You've set the trap.
Now it's possible for you to have been the one who is going to fall flat on your face.
Oh, OK, cool.
And you're also acknowledging that your beloved news company, your beloved truth machine, can easily survive a $787 million hit.
Yeah, uh, these guys- I mean, I don't think they're thinking that hard, but still, it's what popped in my mind.
They're not too keen on Fox News either, because Fox News is super annoyed with Trump, so they've allowed voices critical of Trump onto the network, and that's not good for a lot of these people.
But yeah, I love that.
Aha!
Now that I have lost, that sets the precedent for losing, and you're going to be doing that one, Nick.
I love it so much.
You know, I'm going to get used to losing, and it's not going to hurt my feelings anymore, and then I'm going to be unstoppable.
Yeah, I want to be desensitized to losing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've been, oh, actually, uh, what's, what's my secret?
Uh, I'm, I'm always losing.
That's my secret.
I've actually been buried in L's.
I've been micro dosing, uh, losing, uh, every day for the last 12 years.
So now I'm just immune to it.
I've actually arranged a little basketball hoops throughout my house.
Um, I try to throw paper balls in them all the time and I always miss.
I always, it doesn't even phase me anymore.
Yeah.
And then I liked this comment in Breitbart from Nunn who has a Yee Trump 2024 avatar.
2024 Avatar or yay I guess it's pronounced.
Sorry.
I just I don't feel very celebratory when I see his name so it's hard for me to pronounce it that way.
Well it's not that you're not offending the yay fans you're offending the yee yee people. - Mm.
So, Yee Yee is definitely two E's and that's a whole culture that I'm not going to step on their toes.
I don't, you know, that's not my play.
I'm going to stay in my lane over here.
Nunn says, it is astounding the rational convolutions we are going through to hang on to our dignity.
I am getting more and more worried that we are going to have to let all this go.
But if we do, what's next?
Yeah, I don't know.
You're going to have to let it go, man.
There's nothing you can do.
Again, besides shooting up a Walmart or whatever.
I didn't think about that.
I don't know why.
I mean, it's so obvious.
It's kind of the most important thing.
I kind of forgot that, yes, Fox settling and him saying, I'm almost going to have to accept this, is them accepting, oh, the machines aren't the reason Trump lost.
That's one more proof against their narrative they've been pushing where he never lost in the first place.
Yeah, it's funny too because the most likely outcome of this is what I saw in the wild.
I can't remember the guy's name.
He's like young, kind of, you know, young for a Republican operative.
He's not like a TPUSA guy.
I think he's his own guy.
He's the really tall, Long hair, very unsettling looking, young looking, 30 year old man.
What they used to do is they used to fucking go to Baltimore and pick up trash and live streaming themselves cleaning up trash.
We're out here actually cleaning up the streets for these people.
He had a thread about how he is moving to California So that he can do the 200 mules, do the ballot harvesting that Dinesh D'Souza made a whole fucking movie about, the 2020 election.
And he's like, well, I know people might not agree with me, but this form of politicking is technically legal, so I guess I'm going to do it.
And it's like, fucking obviously!
I don't know what you're talking about.
It's very funny for them to broadcast the idea that the voting machines aren't reliable, or that the elites can just steal your vote anyway.
I mean, not a lot of people are voting, so it's probably a drop in the bucket, but it is going to dissuade some people from voting, as we've seen.
Yeah, ballot harvesting is ballot harvesting, from what I understand.
Is a legal practice where you go pick up people's mail-in ballots.
It's like busing people to the polls.
It's something that people who care about politics, care about winning, in the electoral sense at least, have been doing for decades, right?
And to pretend like helping people cast votes is some sort of nefarious illegal Tactic is, yeah, very counterproductive, I think, for their movement.
So that guy is embracing the 200 meals plan.
I also love it because he's totally neglecting it.
Yeah.
He's like, okay, no, I'm, California is our problem.
If I can, if I can affect California, if I can get more Republican votes in California, you know, Trump votes in California, then we can win.
And you're totally ignoring the fact that like California is like conservative Californians are leaving California in droves.
Sure.
They are leaving here.
There is an underlying white flight that's happening in California.
It's it's ineffective because the country the cut, you know, it's still a pretty like it's a more centrist state than people realize Yeah, yeah like You're not going to offset that, dude.
You're not.
Well, you're not going to flip state seats in California.
The best you could hope for is like, you know, regional, like county seats or, you know, different House of Representatives or state representatives.
But like, are there a lot of purple areas in California, like purple districts in California?
Maybe.
I don't know if it's really.
I don't know, go to like fucking Nevada or something, man.
I don't know why you're going there.
But they want to come to California where they can come fuck up the school board meetings.
Sure.
Yeah.
But yeah, to answer your question, Nunn, you're gonna have to let this all go.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, sorry, bud.
All right.
The last thing I wanted to talk about here is, yeah, those filthy celebrities refusing to pay Elon Musk $8 a month to use Twitter because they think they're better than you.
You, who of course is paying $8 a month to use Twitter, right?
I mean, if you're paying $8 a month to use Twitter and like extremely popular, successful people are refusing to do it, that's like a slap in your face.
Well, it's just another example of, you know, this problem that we face, you know, like the only war is class war because we need to understand these people, they're not like the proletariat.
They're not like us.
They have $8.
They have $8 and they're not, and it just goes to show because rich people give less, you know, they donate more, they do less charity.
They might have a bigger number at the end, but it's a smaller percentage.
And this is further proof of that, that they don't, they think they're better than us.
Yeah, this has been extreme.
You know, we try not to talk about Twitter too much on here, especially try not to talk about Elon Musk too much on here.
He's extremely fascinating person, but you get sick of him.
You get sick of him after a while.
I don't blame anybody for tuning out when they hear about Twitter gossip or whatever, but this shit is like too funny not to talk about.
So Elon Musk like said that, you know, all legacy blue check Blue checks meaning the literal check next to people's display names on Twitter.
We're going to be removed.
You know, they used to be given to like public figures and stuff to verify their identity or notable figures to help identify them on Twitter.
Yeah, there was like a revolt against the idea of the blue checks because like I don't know.
Oftentimes they're, they're, you know, narcissistic, they're vapid.
Uh, you know, these celebrities or journalists who had the blue checks, they're like, they're not worth following or they're, they're good to dunk on or whatever.
The grand plan was now Elon Musk was going to equal the playing field, level the playing field by making the blue check, uh, purchasable for sale.
You could, you could buy the blue check and then become the celebrity that you hated in the first place.
Right?
Kind of an interesting, like, concept because you have to... This whole thing is so fascinating because you have to hate the celebrity with the blue check, but the blue check is the thing that you paid money for.
And, like, you know, a lot of these people deluded themselves into thinking that these celebrities paid $15,000 under the table to Twitter for their blue check, which, I mean, goddamn, if somebody did that, Jesus Christ, I don't...
I don't think that was actually happening.
You just submitted an application and got a yes or no answer.
That's how that worked.
Well, the thing is, it's not so much that you become the celebrity, it's that the celebrity becomes you.
You're bringing them down to our level.
You know?
That's what I'm doing with my blue check.
Well, no, because you have a blue check now and they don't.
So, like, you swapped places.
You Freaky Friday'd it.
Yeah, sure, now they're lower, but you're exalted.
You're of the blue checks, right?
A lot of celebrities were like, I'm not paying $8 for a blue check.
Like, it's literally not worth that to me.
And then everybody else who got tricked into paying $8 for a blue check were like, that's not fair!
You have to pay for the thing that made you better than us!
Yeah.
And if somebody with a blue check, I never had one, but I'm assuming they would be like, I don't think the blue check made me better than you.
It was a thing that Twitter gave me because I had a shit ton of followers or whatever.
That's what made me better than you is that a bunch of people actually wanted to follow me.
I wasn't paying them to follow me.
And also, I would say that in the instance where a celebrity who doesn't pay for an $8 check thinking they're better than you who did pay for an $8 check, they're right.
They're absolutely better than you.
I'm sorry, you proved that.
Yeah, they actually are, and good for them.
The sad thing is, though, is it did do that thing where if people had a blue check, then other people would... They might not think they're better than other people, but other people would treat them better than other people.
And why would you not want to pay $8 for that, to have that sway anymore?
Because it doesn't work anymore because all the cool people who got followers You know mostly organically or whatever don't give a fuck about the actual blue check and now the blue check represents people like Joey Manorio.
And we're gonna go through some of these freaks.
These are the new freaks you see underneath every Elon Musk post.
All these verified losers.
There's too many to get to.
I just have a little selection here.
Oh my god.
Yeah, this one's so good.
Joey Manorino says, quote, this, and he says, quote, this motherfucker paid for Twitter.
End quote.
No, I didn't pay for Twitter.
I paid for free speech.
Goddamn right.
Gonna stop you right there, buddy.
Okay, I paid for free speech.
Kind of self-explanatory.
I paid for $8 speech.
On that one, yeah.
I paid for 1776 to commence again.
Okay, meaningless.
I paid for the founding father's vision.
Not just meaningless, but very stupid.
Also meaningless, but it's got like negative meaning.
I know it's like a boring thing, but yes, like the Founding Fathers failed to consider Twitter blue checks.
I don't think... What are you talking about the Founding Fathers' vision?
I don't think the Founding Fathers wanted... They didn't want me to do anything.
I didn't want Twitter.
That's not what the Founding Fathers were thinking of.
I'm sorry, Tony.
I think the Founding Fathers had a strong belief in the right to bear memes.
Yeah.
And I'm picturing, yeah, what, George Washington swinging on a tactical cable through the window and just like sprinkling Salt Bay memes across the room.
It's just, it's all like the photoshopped, super jacked Founding Fathers posting thirst traps.
I paid to tell Silicon Valley to go screw itself.
Fuckin' A. Fuckin' A right.
You're a hero, brother.
Yeah, this tech giant is located in Austin.
Alright?
I paid to show support for a man who put himself in the line of fire for the First Amendment.
I paid because... We should tell this guy that if he really wants to shut up, he should probably join our Patreon.
That would really stick it to us.
You get even more free speech from signing up to the Minion Death Cult Patreon.
Yeah.
I paid because if George Washington was alive today, he'd be paying too.
Yeah, he's also a huge loser.
He would be a loser like me.
It's funny because I could picture the George Washington tweets where he's like, hey Twitter, I didn't ever pay for this, why do I still have a blue check?
Who did this?
I'm shocked George Washington's Twitter account isn't verified posthumously by Trump.
So next time you say I paid for Twitter, just realize how ignorant, parentheses, or ignorant, depending on your preference, you sound.
I hated that.
So next time you say I pay for Twitter, joke's on you.
I actually paid because I'm like George Washington.
Yeah.
And then Brazen Iron, also verified, responds, I have a blue check but am still shadow banned.
Shrugging emoji.
And then Joey OP replies, same.
It's a bit insane.
Hopefully they'll fix the code soon.
Yeah, please force me onto people's feeds more.
This is beyond fucking parody.
This is like a perfect encapsulation of how little fucking self-awareness these people have.
Yeah.
Dude pays $8 to write a long tweet justifying why he paid the $8 and how everybody making fun of him.
You're wrong, actually.
This is why.
And then somebody immediately responds with, actually, I'm not seeing any of those benefits.
I don't have free speech, actually.
And he's like, yeah, me either.
Immediately.
Just immediately like, yeah, no, it's bad.
I mean, you think it's funny, but clearly my man has been shadowbanned because that's the only way you can get ratio that hard.
Like, 3,000 retweets and, like, comments and 1,000 likes.
Yeah, these people will just never accept that they're dogshit.
These people will never accept that people don't like them because they're losers, dude.
You paid Elon Musk $8 to write a tweet about how you're paying Elon Musk $8 and how much you love him.
Yeah.
Nobody's going to respond to that.
Don't worry, people saw it.
I mean, they're going to respond to it, but just not positively.
They're going to laugh at you.
This was another.
This is another one.
Back to my favorite meme.
We have Cody with a C, verified, Twitter blue, subscriber, with the Tiger Woods John Daly meme that we love so much where Tiger Woods is, you know, he's wearing a vest.
He looks straight laced and sort of stuffy, you know, sort of like a, like a square almost.
Forwards baseball cap.
I didn't even know you could wear them that way.
That's kind of weird.
And then John Daly with his fucking fricking tie-dye pants and his cigarette and his iodized Oakley sunglasses, you know looking cool as fuck and Tiger Woods overlaid on the meme.
It says original check marks on Twitter are the dorky Tiger Woods.
Mm-hmm.
Me after I buy a check mark over the cool cigarette smoking John Daly.
This is so funny, because now I actually know some of like... I went golfing one time, I saw one golf thing, and now that's all Instagram feeds me.
So I know a little history about Tiger Woods and John Daly now.
And there's a story of Tiger Woods, he's like, this is peak Tiger Woods, winning all the matches or whatever.
And he's paired up with John Daly the next day.
They're supposed to be paired up where they play with and against each other.
And John Daly is just partying all night.
He's drinking, drinking.
Tiger Woods working out, working out, working out.
And John Daly's like, come on, man, have a drink with me, you know?
He's like, no, I gotta go practice, blah, blah, blah.
Have a drink with me, blah, blah, blah.
And he drinks like three bottles of whiskey that night, the night before they're supposed to go play together.
And Tiger's like, well, okay, man, I can just have one sip with you and I gotta go.
And John's like, man, what are you, like, why are you working that hard?
And Tiger Woods goes, like, if I was as talented as you are, I'd be drinking like you are right now.
So the funny thing is, so in reality, John Daly doesn't try at all.
John Daly would never pay $8.
John Daly would absolutely never pay $8.
Tiger Woods would pay $8 because he doesn't have the organic bump.
He doesn't have the organic juice that John Daly has.
So this is like... Now that I know that, I think it's really funny that people don't use this correctly.
As soon as you see this meme, the person above who posted it is definitely, assuredly going to be the biggest fucking loser.
The biggest, least cool loser in the fuck.
They're going to be a cop, or they're going to be somebody who paid for Twitter.
Alright?
That's who posts this fucking meme.
And it's great.
Yeah, me, after I buy a checkmark, you know what's really cool?
Paying to get into a club.
Paying to get into a club that everybody else just kind of fell backwards into because of their, you know, Natural talents.
It is kind of it is kind of the opposite in in this in In this meme, but uh, yeah, when do you think that he's gonna roll out like first responder discounts?
Oh, I get it.
You can get it be verified for seven bucks Yeah, well if if they buy it on the website and they buy a year Supply then they can get the same discount as everybody a year supply of Twitter.
It's so fucking stupid to say so Wow imagine imagine paying three digits for Twitter and Yeah, I love this argument.
It's like, you think you're cool?
Well, I fucking paid to be here.
So you can see who's... I'm extremely cool.
Who's more cool.
Again, Luke responds to Cody.
It says, what do you get for the blue checkmark besides the blue checkmark?
Cody says, not much.
Yep, there, yep.
Trust me, I have it, and I'm not getting much, so there it is.
I think I've read that it now makes your tweets more visible, but I don't know.
And then 7 replies, so you're basically paying $100, and it's $114 a year by the way, to use a free social media app.
Skull emoji.
Dead.
Cody responds, no homie, it'd be free if I wasn't paying the $100 a year.
And he posts the meme of the guy tapping on his temple.
Like, think about it.
No, I'm paying for it, so it's not free.
Dang.
Think about it.
Obviously.
Um, I don't know if my verified is working.
Um, I, I keep, I keep texting the sexy single mom in my area to check her DMS and she's not checking her DMS.
So I don't know if she's actually seeing my posts and I, I paid so she could see my posts.
Can anyone tell me if this is working?
It's like, man, these people just have, they have the worst instincts because it's like, Instinct one, don't pay for a free service.
Like, you're not getting that much out of it, right?
Instinct two, don't complain about the fact that you're not being well-received.
Don't complain about the fact that nobody's liking your fucking shit, alright?
Like, nobody's liking your shit because it sucks, but nobody has to know that you know that.
Nobody has to know that you care about that.
Now that you're fucking complaining about how you paid for it, you're a, like, trying to, can I speak to the manager of Twitter?
Can I speak to the mods, please?
You're that, but it's also because it's like, hey, my tweets, my tweets suck ass.
Can I talk to somebody about this?
Like, it's the worst, you're the worst all around, man.
I thought you guys had a thing where you like knew that my tweets suck ass so you like, you send them to the people who like shitty tweets?
I thought that was part of it?
Part of the deal?
Well, that's one of the features of Twitter Blue, or whatever they're calling it, is when you go to your notifications, you know how you can see notifications and you can see your mentions, like people have replied to you?
There's another tab that's for verified, so you can see which verified users have interacted with you, but that feature is now behind the paywall.
So you have to subscribe to be verified in order to see specifically all the other verified losers who are responding to your tweets.
And now you can see these in the wild in your normal notifications, but the verified tab was supposed to be like, oh, here's the big accounts.
Here's the important accounts that liked your tweet.
Maybe you missed it.
Maybe you had a viral tweet, got a thousand likes, and one of those was Rachel Maddow.
One of those was fucking Chris Hayes or something like that, right?
But you missed it.
So you go over to the verified tab and you can see it.
Now you're just going to see Cody with a C!
Like your tweet, you know?
It's like, what is the fucking value of any of this?
It was kind of nice though, like seeing that I was worried that when I did check my verify tab, I was going to see someone still in there and be like kind of disappointed or whatever.
But no, it was completely, completely dry.
There's not one.
It's behind the page.
Oh, you want to see more of these fucking losers?
Oh, well give us $8 and we'll become one of the losers and then we'll let you see all the rest.
And then here's the chaser.
So yeah, we had Cody saying, no, I'm the cool guy who paid for this.
And then we also had him say, actually, I didn't really get much for what I paid for.
Now, finally, we have his bio, which is B plus dad, A husband to an amazing wife, D plus Christian, C minus poker player, F crypto trader.
D Sports Better 6.9 golfer.
Your political party sucks.
Shock emoji.
I don't know if that joke even works.
Like, I guess it's a 60 Nines joke, but I don't even know if that's a good or bad thing.
Kind of changed up the system there.
Yeah, so this is who is getting verified.
The same people who lose a ton of money in crypto.
Self-admittedly.
Is he wearing a bandana?
Is he wearing a bandana in that picture?
It's a backwards snapback.
Backwards hat?
Imagine telling everyone not only do you like, did you trade crypto, but you're bad at it.
And also I have a gambling problem.
I'm also pretty bad at gambling.
Yep.
I'm not, I'm not really good with money, but here's why I'm cool for buying Twitter.
I'm cool.
But I also don't give a fuck.
So how about that?
Yeah, but more about them freaking out that Hollywood celebrities refuse to denigrate, refuse to abase themselves at the level of everybody else who paid for Twitter.
Cat Turd, our favorite guy, Cat Turd, again, like a 68-year-old man named Cat Turd on Twitter, says, Again, if you pay for Twitter, they are better than you.
It's not hard to do.
You could be up at that echelon.
elitist snobs worth $200 million who won't pay $8 because they think they're better than everyone else.
Again, if you pay for Twitter, they are better than you.
That's, it's not hard to do.
You could be up at that echelon.
Just cancel your Twitter blue account.
Like luckily they, they, they actually paid, they paid somebody a lot more than $8 who helps them make these decisions.
And they were like, you better fucking not pay $8 for this.
You're not going to pay me what you pay me every month and then pay $8 for that?
No fucking way.
You better not.
I mean, you're like, you have all the clues in front of you as to what's happening.
They have all this money and yet they refuse to pay.
What's, you know, they're acting like they can't afford it.
And it's like, no, they're acting like they don't want it because it's a fucking mark of being a loser.
It's a kick me sign that you pay for.
Most people you used to ask, oh, I mean, if you were to ask like, oh, why, why are you verified?
They would be like, I don't actually know.
I don't, I'm not really positive why, but I am.
So whatever.
I'm verified because they wanted to keep me on this site because I generate content for them for free.
Yeah.
Um, this was great.
I loved this argument from Steven Steele.
Again, verified.
Elon has essentially enacted a tax, the rich policy, for the wealthiest people on Twitter to keep their check marks and the left is having an absolute meltdown over it.
Truly dizzying.
It's definitely the left melting down these celebrities who are like, fuck you, man.
I'm not paying you $8.
And they're like, wow, what a meltdown.
I paid the $8 just fine.
And I've been tweeting about it ever since.
A tax the rich policy.
Yeah, dude, that's exactly what $8 a month, man.
That's, you know, we can't work through Congress, but maybe a plucky entrepreneur like Elon Musk can finally do the wealth redistribution we've always wanted by charging fucking Kirk Cameron $8 a month.
I mean, the left was a mess.
I saw a lot of people posting like France would never let this happen.
They'd be in the streets right now.
Yeah.
Okay, so this is the big turn in the story where Elon Musk says, he replied, I think this is a Krasenstein tweet, a Democratic Party guy, he's replying to, we've started a quote, save a celebrity fund to pay their $8.
We take this matter very seriously.
Here's Steven Steele again in the replies.
The fact that the wealthiest and most famous people among us are absolutely freaking out about having to pay $8 for a month for a blue check is really testimony as to how detestable most of these people really are.
Pieces of shit.
They're detestable because they won't pay for the thing that I paid for.
Hold on, I need to see something real quick because I only have one verified I'm curious about now.
Let me see... You only have one verified what?
Oh, oh wow.
I was wondering if the Clint Eastwood account was going to be verified again.
No one's donated to his fund yet.
I'm surprised no one's donated to the Clint Eastwood fund.
Yeah, we've started a Save a Celebrity Fund to pay their $8.
David Sachs, who's like a venture capitalist podcaster guy, right-wing guy, replies, how can I help?
I'd like to sponsor 10 needy celebrities.
Yeah.
So we've gone now from celebrities or like, you know, notable posters or whatever, got the blue check mark for free.
And that was a crime, because me... I didn't get a blue check.
And my fucking tweets are great!
And I never got a blue check.
Right?
That's bullshit.
Okay, well now you can pay for the blue check, and it's like... Alright, that's kind of weird.
That kind of seems like... It's more of a...
It's like a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame or whatever.
It's like putting your own face on Time Magazine.
Like another Trump thing.
Except for it's not even that.
It's literally just the fake Oscar you buy from CVS that says Best Whatever.
from like CVS.
Yeah.
It says like best, whatever, best, best verified Twitter.
Uh, went from that to now.
Okay.
I will pay for a celebrity to have their blue check.
The thing I was mad about from the very beginning.
Now I'm going to own them by paying for it.
I'm going to pay for 10.
In fact, these people are like fascinating, fascinating subjects to study.
Ed Krasinski replied to Elon Musk about the Save a Celebrity Fund, saying, LOL, actually, I think this could be a solution, even though I'm not sure if you are serious.
And he's right because it's like, yes, this could be a solution as in the thing that Twitter was doing before you took over.
Yeah.
Putting a fund aside for the large accounts for celebrities to be verified because it was in their interest to keep the celebrities on Twitter, right?
Yeah, what a concept.
Who'da thunk?
Actually, I think this could be a solution, even though I'm not sure if you were serious.
And I don't have the screenshots here, but there were like A hundred- well, there's 752 replies here.
Half of those replies were from people who were like, uh, Elon's fucking joking, you moron.
Don't you understand a joke?
Why would I ever pay for a celebrity to have a blue check?
That makes zero fucking sense.
What are you, a moron?
But Elon replies, oh, it's a real thing.
It's a real thing that I'm doing.
Elon Musk, quote, paid for Stephen King to keep his Twitter, his verified Twitter.
He paid for William Shatner to keep his verified blue check and LeBron.
LeBron James.
These are all people who are like, I'm not going to pay for your fucking little blue tick.
Why would I ever do that?
You're a moron.
And he's like, oh, I'll I'll simply epically troll them with a free blue check.
I wish I could hear the phone call that Elon made when he gave the list of celebrities he wants to to do that when he did try to do the impression of a little boy saying LeBron James.
Because I feel like Elon for sure tried to do that because that's his era of meme.
LeBron LeBron James.
Yeah, it's a very good business model to troll people by punishing them with your product.
By treating your product as like a scarlet letter.
That's definitely what you should be doing.
Because everybody was like, I can't get this off of me.
I can't get it off.
How do I turn it off?
He gave it to Drill, too, apparently.
He tried to verify Drill.
Um, but yeah, Stephen King says, uh, my, all these words are double spaced.
I don't follow Stephen King, but like, is this how he tweets every time?
Oh, you've never read a Stephen King book?
Yeah.
They're usually single space.
The words have single spaces between them.
That's what you think.
Yeah.
Uh, no, there's a lot worse things in Stephen King books than the formatting.
Uh, But yeah, Stephen King said, my Twitter account says I've subscribed to Twitter Blue.
I haven't.
My Twitter account says I've given a phone number.
I haven't.
And then another tweet that wasn't like threaded under this tweet, just his own tweet says, just so you know.
And then that's when Elon Musk was like, oh no, I did it.
I did it to troll you.
I gave you my product for free to troll you.
So the whole thing with the Save a Celebrity Fund, not only is Elon Musk doing what Twitter was already doing, which is allowing prolific users to verify prolific users for free, Um, he's also doing a Babylon Bee meme from November of last year.
That is 100% where Elon Musk got this idea from.
No way.
Because back when they first announced this plan that they were going to be like taking away legacy blue checks or whatever and Twitter celebs were like, what if somebody impersonates me?
And it's like, well, that would be funny.
That's actually like a selling point.
Don't say that.
The Babylon Bee released this video.
Every minute up to 56 million liberals lose their blue checks on Twitter.
And it's like a photo slideshow of liberal celebrities like Whoopi Goldberg, that guy, Rob Reiner, Melissa Milano.
3,000 liberals were rescued last year from losing their blue check.
That's Mark Hamill.
Yeah.
Elizabeth Warren.
Stephen King.
AOC.
Nancy Pelosi, the screaming lady, the screaming meme lady with glasses that they still have jokes about.
They still think she's so funny.
Were they ever verified?
That'd be funny.
That'd be funny.
Do we actually know about this person at all?
What if she started selling NFTs of her screaming with like different backgrounds?
That would actually probably be pretty successful.
Yeah.
And like, people wouldn't really know they're actually giving it straight to her.
They would be like, oh, we're probably, you know, we're dunking on.
No, no.
I'm selling my own face.
Hi, I'm Farrah McGrendelson.
Will you be an angel for a help?
It's supposed to be a fake name, a fake funny name, but she says it too fast.
So you can't like, McGrendelson, Farrah McGrendelson.
Blue checks.
I loved it.
I thought it was very funny.
I lulled.
This whole video hinges on the idea that it would be a joke for you to pay somebody else to use Twitter.
and neglected for just eight dollars a month you can sponsor a liberal providing them with a blue check and more importantly with hope that's about the cost of one white chocolate low whip almond milk latte light froth this whole video hinges on the idea that it would be a joke for you to pay somebody else to use twitter this
the idea of this product is just inherently silly in Inherently a Babylon B-level joke.
Why are people still bad at making up fake coffee drinks?
Why are they still bad at that?
That sounded real to me.
I don't know the difference.
What was wrong with it?
How could you tell it was fake?
It was just like a not real thing.
It just didn't really say anything.
hope that's about the cost of one white chocolate low whip almond milk latte light froth or one gallon of gas call now your donation will provide identity verification all the benefits of twitter blue and a newfound sense of self-worth to a poor needy lib plus you'll receive a photo and regular updates from your sponsor okay this this is the part that actually made me mad from like a writer standpoint
you'll receive updates from your sponsored lib you know because like if you sponsor a child or you sponsor an animal or whatever you get like a you know a letter in the mail written by the child or a photo of the dog you know with some information next to it or whatever you're talking about twitter so So, when she says, oh, you'll get updates on how your celebrity's doing, she's looking at a written piece of paper with a photo like in, you know, when you sponsor a child or like when you have a dog.
You're talking about social media where the liberal will literally be giving you updates on the social media because of the $8 you spent and you can't even connect those fucking dots into a coherent joke.
No, I love it.
I love this joke, too.
This is a great joke to me.
This is hilarious.
This is hilarious.
I think this is great.
I like that the handwriting is not very nice.
I think that's very funny.
Yeah, I think there's probably some intentional misspellings in there.
It's definitely non-cursive.
I'll tell you that much.
I think great is misspelled like a floor great.
Yeah.
Now the blue check is the thing you want people to buy.
Why are you still insulting people with blue checks?
Isn't that now your fucking audience?
Everyone knows the only people worth listening to are blue checks.
Now the blue check is the thing you want people to buy.
Why are you still insulting people with blue checks?
Isn't that now your fucking audience?
Yeah.
Don't let a lib become an absolute waste of a human being.
Browse our database of needy libs today.
Please act now, because due to inflation, $8 will soon be worth... Don't wait.
Every minute more libs fade into obscurity.
And even though they are definitively rich enough to pay for themselves, their liberal worldview dictates that you should be the one to shoulder the burden.
No, it doesn't, in fact!
Nobody has to pay for the blue check.
You literally don't have to pay for it.
It's such an instance of making something up to upset yourself.
The fucking malicious self-suck these people are doing on themselves is astounding.
It's a compassionate thing to do.
I want it!
I want it!
Yeah, thank you, Babylon Bee.
Yeah, so Elon Musk bringing a Babylon Bee video to life in the form of a Save a Celebrity fund.
We'll go out on this one.
Friend of the show, Trillburn, found this guy, Ian Schwartzman, who says, people will pay $8 for a coffee every morning to have their name on it.
$10 a month for a streaming service to watch repeats of an old show.
$50 a day on weed, but won't pay for verification of their own identity on Twitter without acting like it's costing them their life.
I mean, yeah, man, I can't afford $8 a month for Twitter.
I am spending $50 a day on weed.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, I don't know.
It's almost like weed does something.
It's almost like you can drink a cup of coffee or like watch Netflix.
You know, if I pay for Netflix, I can watch it now.
But I mean, I don't know, in Twitter's defense, you know, one thing that will keep me up is a coffee past 6pm in Doomscrolling.
That's true.
So they are similar in that way.
But yeah, the people will pay $8 for a coffee every morning to have their name on it.
Trillburn said, I would have thought up until today, I would have thought the reason Starbucks write your name, writes your name on the cup was obvious to any functioning adult.
Yeah, it is astounding, like how the blue, the new blue check system, like what it's bringing out, what people, what you're now witnessing because of the blue check system.
And then S. Joseph Karam replies, uh, Ian Schwartzman is absolutely right.
So dot, dot, dot Starbucks writes your name on the cup.
For what reason?
In your view, I can get a cup of coffee anywhere.
I mean, wow.
I mean, really?
It really is like the most simple thing.
It's just so that you don't get someone else's coffee.
It's not even about you.
It's really about other people.
If you think about it.
Man, I, like, I can't, I can't identify with these people.
I'm like trying to understand what would, why you would think this.
That you would think that you're paying to see your name written on a cup?
Yeah, I mean, they don't, they don't ask for my name at, they don't ask for my name at McDonald's when I get a coffee there.
You know, I'm paying for that interpersonal experience.
This is fascinating.
It's like discovering an uncontacted tribe of people.
Just practices and ways of thinking that have totally been unchanged by the broader culture.
It's amazing.
I mean, the flip side is that you're also paying for the opportunity to write a different name on the cup.
Perhaps a name they don't even want to say out loud.
Like, what if you write MAGA 2020-2024 on your cup?
And they have to say that out loud.
You're also paying for that opportunity.
They're not thinking about both ends of this coin.
Yeah, so some of the best times on Twitter there's been in a while.
This is like, man, a good way for the social media platform to just eat the dirt, eat the dust, bite the dust.
I love it, man.
I love a bunch of people Paying to have the thing that they've coveted for years and in the process devaluing it and just discovering that they're part of a club of the most unlikable, unfunny, miserable fucks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
That's the episode.
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