We are living through the darkest chapter in American history
Folks, we got him. The Eagle is down. I repeat, the Eagle is down. We examine the multifaceted response to the Trump indictment: Cope, Mope, and the Day of the Rope Also, Mitt Romney and Starbucks founder Howard Schultz take to the senate to inform the puiblic of what's best for the American worker. Music: Amok - Reverse Running Nile - Ramses Bringer of War ------------------------------------------------ Sign up for bonus content at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week delivered straight to your podcast app or browser Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000 with Bryan Quinby; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more.
The liberals are destroying California and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today.
So stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
All right, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Dragg is responsible.
We're documenting it.
What's up, everybody?
Hope everybody's eager for a completely sane, normal, Level-headed, grounded, definitely based in reality episode of Minion Death Cult today.
Thank you for joining us for such a special occasion.
Yeah, glad you can be here for this.
It's going to be a nice, light-hearted, regular, reasonable takes episode.
Yeah, this is definitely one you might want to save for bedtime, when you want to fall asleep to some soothing sounds.
This episode of Maniac Death Cult just might serve that purpose.
Actually, April Fools.
We were just joking with you.
Not a lot of sanity to be found on this particular episode because we are talking about the indictment of Donald J. Trump today and the reaction from all corners of the right wing.
We have just so much good stuff to get to here.
I don't think I'm worried about it.
I'm worried that they're going to go through Ticketmaster to sell tickets to his execution.
You're going to be paying like $400.
Bullshit.
Service fees, it's going to be awful.
We should do a Change.org petition to get brown paper tickets to take over for the event coordination of the Donald J. Trump execution.
It's going to be like maybe $1.50 in fees for each ticket.
And it's probably going to be all ages this way, so that's good.
Yeah, so Trump was indicted.
All the rad libs on Twitter and Facebook, they were supporting Comey, Mueller, all of them throughout this whole time.
And we pooh-poohed them, but now it's done.
Donald Trump is indicted, which I assume means President Chido's going away for real?
Ever?
For the rest of his life?
Yeah.
I'm assuming that's what indicted means.
Yeah, at least like a public whipping or something, you know?
Uh, no, this of course means, uh, he's just been charged with crimes, uh, which is still, uh, incredibly rare.
In fact, it's the first time it's ever happened to a former president.
Uh, and according, yeah, to people like Jesse Waters, uh, this day will go down as a dark day for America.
What, what was the date that, was it the 29th?
Oh shit, we should write it down for the future historians.
Fuck, I forgot.
Well, I mean, it's going to be the new September 11th anyways.
People are going to put their flags at half-mass.
Oh, according to this screenshot that I took, it happened 11 hours ago on Facebook.
Wow, wow.
March 30th, a day we'll never forget.
No, just 11 hours ago.
I didn't say March 30th.
I said 11 hours ago.
It's always 11 hours ago, no matter how far forward in time you go.
I mean, that's how you never forget, you know?
Gosh, I wish we all just had that feeling that we did when 9-11 was 11 hours ago, you know?
was 11 hours ago, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah, Trump, on his indictment, called it the darkest chapter of American history. - I agree.
Yes, this is it.
Of American history, right now is the darkest time.
America's never done anything else bad or sad or evil.
Blackest, most brutal piece of American history was 11 hours ago when a president finally got charged with a crime.
Again, I hate to keep beating the same dead horse.
So funny that the guy who was like, oh, if I'm President Hillary Clinton, you're going to jail.
I'm going to arrest you.
Like, have the Wine Moms made the Assad meme but with Hillary yet?
Have they done that?
Who must go?
Hillary Clinton with her hand to her ear?
Who must be locked up?
Who's that?
Who's that?
I think if we could get a time machine and show him the takes that they were taking today and yesterday, like the Hillary people, and if we could show him the takes they were going to make at his expense, I think he would change his entire presidency.
I think he would have gone about it completely different.
Yeah, I mean hindsight's 20-20 though.
And I was surprised they indicted him because I believed, you know I'm not surprised that the DA tried to indict him, but I am surprised he was able to do it.
Because like the Babylon Bee, I believed the grand jury would be cancelled as DA unable to find any jurors awesome enough to be Trump's peers.
No way!
Yeah, I mean, it's true.
It's true.
No one's going to be epic enough.
Who could you honestly call his peer?
It's going to be like Dan Balzerian and Elon Musk up there.
Yeah, no, I mean, this is the same way I felt.
I read part of this article.
It's so fucking funny.
This is satire, by the way, everybody, okay?
The indictment of Trump by Alvin Bragg is in disarray this morning after the Manhattan DA was unable to find enough grand jurors awesome enough to be legally considered Trump's peers.
Quote, as a totally non-corrupt Soros-backed district attorney who respects the rule of law as applied to political enemies, Amazing writing, by the way.
That's just like, that's not even a clause.
That's a, that's a phrase.
That's like a 20 word phrase, comma.
It was important to make sure Trump was indicted by a jury of his peers, said Bragg.
After searching high and low, we soon found out that Trump has zero peers.
This is due to how beautiful, fantastic, and powerful he is.
He has no equal.
We're honestly not sure what to do now.
Amazing.
I mean, like they couldn't get The Rock on the jury?
Yeah, he probably has a residence in New York.
Yeah.
Tim Allen.
What about Dave Chappelle?
Bill Maher, for sure, now.
I used to think that Bill Maher was totally not based.
But now that I heard him complaining about millennials, wow.
Maybe he could serve on that jury.
I was like, I was reading this article, I was like, what the fuck?
It's just them calling Trump beautiful through the mouth of the DA.
Actually, you think he's really cool.
Sources confirmed the Manhattan DA office conducted a thorough search of the whole of New York City and after several days was unable to find even one person who could match Trump in terms of raw, unadulterated power, intellect, and hand size.
Quote, frankly, I'm not surprised by little Alvin's failure to assemble a jury said Trump in a statement all the smart geniuses left New York long ago Mainly me and there's no smarter genius than me if we're being honest The only people left in New York are total disasters.
They can't even do a witch hunt properly so sad So like the joke would could work if it were like a This is Trump's team writing this whole article about... Like, it only works if Bragg is your enemy and you're trying to make him call you cool.
That's the only way this is, like, funny, but they just, they did it without the irony.
They were just like, no, this is our enemy calling us cool.
I mean, I just like that they're also saying that Bragg is, Bragg is also, like, honest enough and plays by the rules enough to where You know, he would have to, yeah, he would have to yield.
He doesn't say, no, I can't.
Maybe that's the joke.
Yeah.
Maybe that's the joke is that he would never, he would never follow the spirit of the law, which is you have to get someone as cool as Trump on the jury.
Is he like, he doesn't look little.
He doesn't look like a little guy, Alvin.
Nah, they just didn't bother thinking of a Trump nickname.
I mean, how could you?
You can never really predict what Trump is gonna do.
With these indictments finally made public, I guess leaked really, because one of the right wing's coping methods is
saying how actually the district attorney actually he might be the one to go to prison because somebody leaked the indictment which is a felony so so there uh well one of the reasons uh people think that this uh indictment might have finally come down is like here in the uh Snowflake-a-palooza, meme vault, and libtard meme-topia.
They made a meme of Dr. Evil.
It's a Dr. Evil and Frau Farbichna, or whatever her name is, from Austin Powers.
Dr. Evil picks up the phone and says, they're releasing the QAnon Shaman 14 months early.
Because the QAnon Shaman got out of prison recently.
And so then Frau Farbichna, she says, indict Trump!
Yes.
Get it?
We gotta keep him under our thumb.
Now that we're letting out the Q Shaman, a very important person, it's time to finally... We gotta stick it to him again.
We gotta indict Trump.
Yeah, I'm not sure if I follow the logic here from Chuck Carlton.
Which is like... Okay, they're releasing QAnon Shaman early, so we have to distract From that?
Because that's what the meme is.
The meme is like a distraction meme.
You know, it's like, oh, the prices of eggs are rising.
Oh, COVID's back!
Yeah.
You know, something like that.
Like, that's what this meme is.
Okay.
So, they're releasing the QAnon Shaman 14 months early.
Indict Trump!
We had this in our back pocket the whole time.
We were just waiting for the right moment to do it.
Which is, of course, when the mentally ill QAnon Shaman gets released from prison early.
Yeah, this makes sense.
I think, I mean, look, we're talking about it, you know?
We're talking about it in our face.
Yeah, that's true.
Another theory comes from our favorite 70-year-old Twitter crybaby, Cat Turd, who tweeted out, they're indicting Trump to make you forget about them.
Never forget!
Oh my god.
And it's the victims of the Nashville shooting.
Wow.
Yes, that's what it is.
That's why they did it.
That's wild.
So I guess the idea is that I mean, the most charitable interpretation of this theory is that the federal government, or at least the DA in Manhattan, is so pro-trans that he's indicting Trump to make you forget about that school shooting.
Wow.
Yeah, probably.
That makes sense.
About the punishment of Christians.
You know, like that's that's like they're making you forget about that, you know, all of it.
Yeah, that must be what it is.
But it's like.
That shooter got killed, that shooter got taken out like I don't.
What what are you else or what other kinds of justice are you expecting out of this situation?
Yeah, like what could they be just distracting from, you know, but I mean, this is like.
This is the sorry state of conspiracy theorists, just how lazy it is with everybody having access to the internet and just the most mediocre personalities rising to the top of Twitter.
You can say things like, oh, they only indicted Trump, the person they've been trying to get for like eight years now, they only indicted Trump to distract you From the three kids and three adults killed in a mass shooting that happens like every fucking day in America.
Man.
Yeah.
Like that's the kind of high quality conspiracy theories you get from Elon Musk's number one Twitter user who is still mad at Twitter despite having two million followers or however many.
That's not enough.
He deserves more.
Definitely something's wrong.
He should have at least four million.
I mean, I think so.
But I mean, he doesn't understand that once you get that big, you're just on anyone's timeline anyways, so there's no need to follow you.
Did you see Matt Taibbi's responses to this?
No.
So depressing.
Like, I- I- You know, like his full, like, erect penis?
Just- Just really bad arguing.
Really bad, uh, thought process here.
Uh, Matt- I saw Matt Taibbi tweet, Yes, this is it.
If presidents think they will be chased into jail under thin pretexts as ex-presidents, they'll try even harder to never leave office.
This is how autocracies are born.
Yes, this is it.
This is it.
This makes sense.
I didn't think about that.
Wow.
I'm not thinking about the long game.
What if this means Biden's never going to leave now because he doesn't want to go to court?
Man, they made me be a dictator.
Once they finally arrested a single guy for committing a bunch of crimes, I had no choice.
I had no choice but to be a dictator.
I don't know.
I'm not trying to call hypocrisy on this or anything, because obviously that has no teeth to it, but it's just like...
Who doesn't think that a powerful person should be held responsible?
It's insane to me that they're arguing this.
Like, where is it right here?
I saw this tweet.
Thack Sparrow said, in 250 years of existence, no POTUS has had this happen.
All of them.
The good and the bad.
There is good reasoning behind it, but I feel like I'm wasting time.
This was somebody arguing about how we shouldn't indict a president.
We shouldn't indict a president because it sets a bad precedent.
And it's just like, how can you argue that it made sense for no other president to have been indicted for a crime?
They've all done crimes.
They've all done an insane amount of crimes.
And you're like, Listen, they were all playing a big game where they never indicted anyone, and that's good!
We should keep doing that!
We should perpetuate this plan of the ruling class of elites never holding each other accountable.
And again, I want to clarify this, I do not believe that the Democrats are actually holding power accountable, or that Alvin Bragg is a good District Attorney or anything like this.
This is an inter-class conflict.
Obviously, it's the personal grievances they have with Trump is the factor, the different factor here than the other cases.
Yeah, but I'm not going to object to them doing it.
Literally let them fight.
That's fine with me.
Yeah, that's fine.
If it's taken on bandwidth, I'm pretty good with it, you know?
But yeah, I like this whole thing where it's like, no, it's important that presidents feel they can be above the law.
You need to maintain that, you know?
Like, why would that be?
At no point, no one's advocating for, like, okay, cool, then we gotta take Bush down, too.
No one's doing that.
No one's like, okay, cool, we gotta hold Obama accountable.
They're just saying, like, we can't do this because, like, what about the future presidents?
What if I become president?
Have you thought about that?
What about if I do that?
They're gonna convict me for my crimes later.
This other Matt Taibbi tweet, he quote tweeted an account called Investor Turf that's verified, you know, probably because they subscribed to Twitter Blue.
And that's probably why Matt Taibbi saw them in his feed in the first place.
Investor Turf!
InvestorTurf posted a screenshot of an alleged Jim Cramer tweet, who's a, what do you call it, like a financial advice guy on CNBC, notorious for being incorrect.
The tweet, the supposed tweet from Jim Cramer says, I'm very confident Trump is not getting indicted.
And then we of course know that he did, Donald Trump did get indicted.
It's so fucking funny.
Matt Taibbi said, Jonathan Swift couldn't write this stuff.
And it's just like a fake tweet.
It's just a fake screenshotted tweet that even Twitter users knew was fake, because there's community notes under this tweet saying that it's fake.
And a professional reporter, Matt Taibbi, who definitely doesn't just publish whatever Twitter hands him, whatever Twitter gives him, reposted a tweet that Twitter gave him, a screenshot of a tweet, and was like, wow, incredible, incredible stuff.
The greatest minds couldn't come up with such irony on this fake tweet that was written by somebody who pays $8 a month for Twitter.
Yeah, you can't beat reality sometimes.
Except for you can when you Photoshop a tweet to make it funny, because that's the whole joke.
I think when you have Twitter blue, though, you can set it to where you don't see those warnings.
You can just live in whatever world you live in.
You know, it's like a little like, it's a, it's a peace of mind removal.
Like you can just get rid of that and just go crazy.
So I did see some reactions of people who definitely, uh, weren't mad, definitely not upset.
And actually, uh, they're, they're laughing actually.
And we've come back to my favorite meme, uh, which is the golfing meme.
Um, I just realized this is, this is Tiger Woods on the left, isn't it?
I mean it must be.
It's a black guy on a golf course.
I don't think there's been more.
So Tiger Woods is the dorky golfer.
Tiger Woods is not the cool golfer, all right?
The cool golfer is, of course, John Daly, who's wearing his, like, tie-dye pants and smoking a doobie, wearing his frickin' sunglasses on a golf course.
This guy doesn't give a fuck.
Show me a guy who's given less fucks than this guy.
Smoking a cigarette, but he's smoking it like a doobie, you know, so it could be either.
Yeah, smoking it in a very cool way.
I want to see him, like, taking the putt with the little Sig hanging off his lip.
That'd be fucking so badass.
I can't do that.
What's his name?
Tiger Woods, our dork-ass golfer, is labeled, Trump haters excited about his indictment.
John Daly, the cool one, is labeled, Trump supporters also excited about it.
Yep.
That's right, baby.
He's gotta be hilarious.
He's got him right where he wants him.
Yeah, this is going to be like a fucking this year's Johnny Depp trial.
They're going to fall out the same way and cover it the exact same way.
It's going to be awful.
Yeah, like Stormy Daniels might end up with as much abuse as Amber Heard by the end of it.
Oh, yeah, it's probably likely caught on, caught up.
Another one here that I saw, ScamLikely1 in the Donald message board said, the indictment erased any doubt about where we are at in America.
It actually feels good because they did the unthinkable and now we know.
I don't feel angry or anything.
I don't feel anything at all.
I don't feel angry or anything.
Just clear-headed that whatever comes my way, it will be just and right.
We are fighting for something greater than ourselves, and this is a battle of good versus evil.
I'm glad it happened.
Okay, so you do have feelings.
You're glad it happened.
But I do like this whole, you know, Buddhist approach to this.
Like, hey, listen, I can't... It's out of my hands, you know?
I can't control these things.
I think it's more like he thinks that this is the last straw.
You know, it's like every straw is like the last straw that's finally going to break that great American camel's back.
And everybody's going to see that we were right all along.
It's just going to take one more non-binary Mr. Potato Head commercial.
I'm happy it happened.
I'm actually happy they did that.
Now they're doing the unthinkable.
This thing that we've been talking about for years is the unthinkable.
And this thing that we've been wanting to happen to our enemies tenfold, right?
Like Trump wasn't even executed.
He wasn't even like cloned or executed or put on house arrest or anything.
He just, he just got charged with a crime.
I also like Marjorie Taylor green saying, all right, fine.
The gloves are off now.
Now we're going to start getting serious.
Uh, pretty funny.
What did she say?
She was like, It began, we were gonna lock Hillary up, but now Trump's gonna get perp-locked.
What the heck?
We're not messing around anymore.
Wait.
They're like, we were just kidding, we weren't really gonna arrest her, but you guys did it, and that's kinda fucked up.
Oh yeah, here it is.
Our side chants, quote, lock her up, and their side is going to get a mugshot based on a witch hunt.
It's time to change that.
Gloves are off.
People literally excited about the mugshot.
I saw multiple things like, Oh my God, there's going to be a mugshot.
Yeah.
Cool.
Well, they're saying what I said on our last episode, like the right wing is saying, I can't wait to get his mugshot.
We're going to put it on t-shirts and he's going to make, he's going to make a billion dollars in the, in the first month by selling based Trump, uh, you know, enemy of the state, enemy of the deep state.
That's what it'll say.
Yeah.
And then the right's also excited because they're like, oh man, we're going to get a mugshot and we're going to put it on a shirt and it's going to say Thug Life.
Did you see the Trump video response?
No.
No, I didn't.
The ad he put out?
No, I didn't.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Durham probe into the Russia collusion hoax.
President Trump has just been impeached on both Article 1 and 2.
The only president of the United States to be impeached for a second time.
January 6th committee releasing its final 845 page report.
Former President Donald Trump has been indicted.
Remember this, nothing worth doing ever, ever, ever It came easy.
The footage is of him in, like, the 80s when he's, like, 30 years younger.
Yeah, what was he even talking about there?
Following your convictions means you must be willing to face criticism from those who lack the same courage to do what is right.
Relish the opportunity to be an outsider.
Embrace that label.
Being an outsider is fine.
Embrace the label.
Being an outsider is fine.
It's okay.
Yeah, you're an outsider.
Once President of the United States was bringing thousands and thousands of people to rallies, just all the outsiders, the weirdos.
Listen, being able to be the life of the party for 30 minutes, but then needing two hours to recharge your batteries at home with candle and a nice book is okay.
It's okay.
It's normal.
Having a messy room because your ideas are too profound and they must be followed immediately and you can't really waste time on washing dishes or cleaning your room is okay.
Studies show that the highly intelligent people have dirty rooms.
Yeah, yeah.
Are you bailing on plans or are you accepting plans with yourself at home?
Because it's the outsiders who change the world.
And who make a real and lasting difference.
Well-behaved presidents rarely make history.
It's true.
Wow.
I didn't think about that.
It's so true.
Wow.
Snaps.
Snaps to that one.
We are the grandsons of the presidents you couldn't burn at the stake.
But we fucking should have.
The more that a broken system tells you that you're wrong, the more certain you should be.
I love that for like the footage of his enemies, you know, the people who are against him arrayed against him in this ad, he's using like the boomer method of getting digital media back on to a digital, uh, platform, which is recording something with the, like somebody is recording,
Video of their TV on their phone of Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi and then that's what they posted and that's what Trump's using and so it's like it's like at two different angle there's you're seeing like such a but it's good because like the Nancy Pelosi and Schumer look totally distorted because you're seeing them from an angle on a 2d surface Yeah, it's super smart because they look like shit
I really liked this response in the Donald.
They posted a tweet from Emerald Robinson who says, it's time to stop pretending that America is still a constitutional republic.
Am I right?
Am I right, Tony?
I've been saying.
We've been pretending this whole time that America wasn't a documentary.
America wasn't a democracy and was a constitutional republic.
Think again, buddy.
I can't wait to own somebody when they try to correct me and tell me that we're actually a republic, constitutional republic.
You're fucking, you're way behind, dude.
We're not that anymore either.
It's time to stop appealing to Democrats to stop the madness they have intentionally created.
It's time to stop thinking you can comply your way out of tyranny.
So this is like the number one response to the indictment.
Is the right wing alternatively calling each other cowards for not taking up arms or telling each other that only the FBI or ATF would tell you to go out and protest for Trump?
Yeah, there's like conservatives out there right now being like, we can learn a lot from the French.
I mean, yeah, they've been saying that even before Trump was indicted.
They think that France is protesting diversity, equity, and inclusion corporate policies.
You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah, that's funny.
No, I've seen memes on like big right-wing accounts that have, it's like the FBI posing as a Twitter person saying, we need to take to the streets and support Donald Trump now.
And it's like, don't fall for it, fellow right-wingers.
Uh, they're just trying to get you.
And it's, it's great because it's like, it's not going to happen.
First of all, there's not going to be mass protests supporting Donald fucking Trump because People intuitively know that he's just a fucking politician.
He's just a president.
He's just a politician.
It's only the most extreme weirdos who have a parasocial relationship with him that would actually rise to that level.
But you can say, oh no, I'm actually being smart and not falling for the FBI trap of wanting us to get out and do politics.
Don't do it, folks.
They're just trying to entrap you.
The only way you can get these people to really light a fire on him, you know, really get out there, is if you were to tell him that he's going to have a jury of drag queens.
Then they would all hit the streets.
That was a number one response, too, that I saw, or really high up there in responses, was just the district attorney, Alvin Bragg, dressed up as a drag queen.
And it said, Alvin Drag.
So, you know, I mean, they got him.
The proof is right there.
Obviously can't be trusted.
It has motives.
But yeah, so like anytime somebody posts something like, I'm really mad, what should we do about it?
There's like half of the responses are like, not today, FBI.
It's very good.
You love to see it.
Yeah.
So this response to this tweet about how it's time to stop pretending that America is still a constitutional republic.
What does this mean?
Because when you say America is supposed to be a democracy, we're supposed to be governed by the will of the people or whatever.
Well, the right wing doesn't like that because they are not in the majority of people on most issues.
So they have to say, uh, idiot, we're not a democracy.
We're actually a constitutional republic, which is they, you know, in their minds is not a democracy, which it is a form of democracy, but in their minds, that's their excuse of saying, Well, democracy's bad, and that's the tyranny of the majority.
We much prefer the tyranny of the minority, which is a constitutional republic.
You know, the majority shouldn't get their say.
It should be a constitutional republic that only represents the interests of whom?
You know, the states, I guess, would be their argument.
Well, brave people are more rare, so it's going to be the minority.
Sure.
But then now that you're not getting your way, A constitutional republic, we don't have that?
Now that you're not getting your way?
If a constitutional republic means it's not the will of the majority, so you're saying like, oh, even the minority's will isn't being carried out.
So we don't, our will isn't being carried out.
So now we don't even have a constitutional republic.
And now they're saying, this means communism, right?
That's like the main take is, so since we're not this anymore, since we're not even a constitutional republic, we're for sure communism now.
They're not defining it in this take.
Well, that brings me to some responses here.
UltraMagaMilton says, We are a constitutional republic.
We have been infiltrated by enemies of the contract.
So the system is good.
It's just bad actors within the system.
That's a fairly liberal take.
But then another thing replies, You know who else is a constitutional republic?
China.
You know who else is?
Iran.
Also, the British government during the U.S.
Revolution was one as well.
I'm seeing I'm seeing a pattern here.
I'm catching on.
I love it.
I love I love the contract.
Next time anybody says, yeah, what contract?
I didn't enter a fucking contract.
Yeah, I don't remember that.
Yeah, so when somebody tries to tell you, oh, we're not a democracy, actually, we're a constitutional republic and just be like, oh, you mean like China is a constitutional republic?
Like Iran is a constitutional republic.
Iran, the most communistic nation known to man.
Ever.
Ever.
I live right next to China.
Well, and also the British, the 1700s British monarchy.
Very, very communist.
It was just listing enemies of the United States.
So you had to get specific there.
Here's an example of them arguing with each other on how to respond to this indictment.
People are giving out platitudes like, we need to fight back!
We need to do something!
And Goosemania says, yeah, we're fighting alright.
Rolling eyes emoji.
I haven't seen any yoga studios get shot up recently.
How are we fighting?
Right?
You're not paying attention, bro.
Scam Likely replies, the waiting game works to our advantage.
They are at the end of their playbook, killing innocent children, arresting Trump, etc.
And they are so frustrated by the lack of a violent response from our side.
They keep digging deeper and deeper into tyranny, and as they do, they look so desperate, weak, and pathetic.
So this is saying that the non-violent strategy that Trump supporters are pursuing is working because the left, and by left I mean, you know, mainstream Democrats and the three-letter agencies, they're getting frustrated and they don't know what to do.
Biden and the Democrats have threatened us with F-16s and bombs.
Call us every name possible.
Dox us online and at work.
Make fun of our values and communities.
And we are still here.
We rise above it and they flop in the muck of their own waste.
I missed that.
I missed when he was like, we're going to bomb the conservatives.
We're going to hit them with F-16s.
Do you remember that?
No, I don't remember that.
I don't remember him saying any Biden saying anything about bringing F-16s to Pennsylvania or whatever.
But I like how it goes from, oh, the Democrats, they fucking threatened us with F-16s, bombs, and they also made fun of our values.
I mean, that's kind of that's that's kind of more important, you know.
Yeah.
Like, you can break me, but you can't break my soul and my values.
Yeah.
Listen, you can bomb out my city.
You can kill my children.
But if you come after my values, I'm coming for you.
All hell is coming with me.
Yeah.
I'll stomp your ass.
When the time comes, we will rise up, and we will not back down.
The courage and resolve is rock solid and we are not afraid and we know what is at stake.
We see this is like these these forums, you know, Trump dot win or Maga dot Patriot or whatever.
These are like it's like Tumblr.
It's like creative writing exercises for these people.
That's all this is.
I'm going to do three paragraphs on this one.
When the time comes, we will rise up.
We will not back down.
We know who the enemy is.
And how they operate, and how they have been exposed.
Soon even some on the left will realize that their ideology benefits no one but the Uniparty and their donors.
Stay strong, Pede, and keep fighting for democracy and freedom in America.
Pede being, of course, short for Magapede, which is what they call each other.
Peltast replies, he quotes the previous comment, they keep digging deeper and deeper into tyranny as they do.
They look so desperate, weak, and pathetic.
Uh, Peltast replies, I know.
Won't the optics make them look silly when we're in concentration camps?
They'll be so embarrassed dot dot dot.
I'm laughing at them already.
Oh, he's like, you think this is fucking funny, bro?
You think this is a game?
Before you know it, what's so weird is like, I have like a lot of these same thoughts these people have for entirely different reasons.
And it's so weird that they get to like, what?
Because I feel, you know, a lot of us feel a lot of people in America who are like minorities or just, you know, leftists in general, or like, you know, friends of people who, who are being, you know, violently persecuted against.
We feel this way a lot.
What is making them, like, how do they feel the same way?
It's so weird to me.
Well, for one thing, this is a Stone Toss comic.
Stone Toss being like a white nationalist comic artist where it's like two Trump supporters talking to each other side by side and one of them says, hey, don't react.
That's exactly what the left wants us to do.
The other one says, Oh, good idea.
And then it zooms out and they're on their knees in front of a concentration camp.
And there's like a dead corpse bleeding out right next to them.
I mean, it's just persecution theory.
Like they've seen, you know, they've seen marginalized communities.
Actively be killed in the streets and the rhetoric that these marginalized communities have developed you know in the course the way that they've responded and They're just mapping their own quote struggle on to that that they're just there because that's like That is the only hardship they've seen like on a structural level of No, well, there's class warfare to be sure, but like- Absolutely.
The outright, like, rounding up minorities.
That's a thing we fucking did in this country.
That's a thing we've done several times.
Like, those are the real struggles that they have as analogies.
So they're like, well, that's probably what'll happen to us, is what's happened to every other community besides, you know, white, straight men.
Yeah, they're like magpies right now educating each other about the countless cities who burnt down there.
They're like specifically the the communities like Asian populations, like they're learning about that right now.
They're learning about the Chinatowns that were burned down across the country throughout history that they're just now educating.
They're like, that's going to be us next.
Imagine, imagine, imagine our cul-de-sac and flames.
They do.
They do every fucking day.
Yeah.
I mean, even I just learned about like the fact that it was more prevalent than I thought, like Riverside had one where they, they like set it on fire.
They just set it on fire and said, Oh, sorry about that.
Fire, fire department didn't help it.
They just let it burn.
That's so crazy.
Like that happened in like that happened in like the forties.
All right.
The last thing I wanted to talk about with regards to the Trump indictment, um, was this post I saw in, uh, Where was this?
This is the greatawakening.win.
This is the Q message board.
The post title is, Deep breaths Anons.
Deep breaths Anons.
We knew this move was coming.
The White Hats have been planning for this happening for some time.
They set the ultimate trap and the rabid Democrats took the bait.
Hook, line, and sinker.
A precedent was set today.
The Clintons, Bushes, Obamas, and Bidens are next!
Panic in DC!
I like that energy.
That's cool.
Because I do think they think that Trump's going to have just done on them in the courtroom.
Because he is going to have a bunch of moments.
Sure, like, they're probably not far off in thinking that nothing bad is actually going to happen to Trump other than, I guess, the bad press of being indicted and being on trial for a crime.
Yeah, but they think that this is going to lead to, you know, who's next?
All of our enemies.
And they're not nearly as powerful or charismatic or smart as Trump, so they're for sure going to jail.
Right.
You just gotta, just gotta bide your time.
Uh, soon it's going to be our turn.
Uh, this meme that they've included, uh, I'm trying to remember what movie this is from.
Um, it's, uh, a guy on his knees with his hands behind his head getting ready to be arrested, but it's Trump's face over the head and he's smiling even though he's about to be arrested.
What the hell?
And the text says, does president Trump look worried to you?
I think it's Batman?
Is it Batman?
Is it Dark Knight?
No, this is older than that.
It looks like an 80s or 90s movie.
I can't tell.
I wish I knew, because I wish I knew what this character actually ended up doing instead of being arrested.
Yeah, that's why I was thinking that, because I know there's that scene where he's about to get arrested or get taken down, but then the car comes, I don't know, something happens and he gets away with it.
Well, yeah, he does voluntarily go to jail.
What if they used Kevin Spacey in 7?
What if they used that image?
They're like, actually, this is all part of the plan.
He's going to deliver DA Alvin Bragg's wife's head in a box to him later on in the week.
Terrifying.
Yeah, somebody rightfully asked, so hey, it was Trump's plan to get arrested because he wants to arrest Hillary and Obama, so he had to get arrested?
What?
I kind of don't get it.
Somebody said, why not set the precedent by arresting Clinton or Bush?
Yeah, why not just start there?
Seems like a reasonable question.
QAnot says, Replies, we are traveling the path of least collateral damage.
The future proves past in this case.
The arrest of President Trump initiates an important shift in the narrative wherein it is now commonplace to investigate, indict, and arrest former presidents.
Yeah, the very first time that it ever happens in history.
Well, now it's commonplace.
Yeah.
Now it's an everyday thing.
It only takes one.
News probably won't even report on it next time it happens.
It'd be so usual.
Had Clinton or Bush been arrested, the normies would have still been under the CIA brainwashing program and would have undoubtedly fed the civil war narrative that the cabal so desperately want.
It's so funny how they keep... We don't want a civil war.
You guys are the ones who want the civil war.
It's like the same thing with like...
The trans panic.
These people posting about trans people every fucking day complaining about how they know about trans people.
Complaining that they have to know about trans people and yet it's very clearly what they are most consumed with personally.
It's very same thing here with this Civil War narrative that the Cabal want the Civil War.
We don't want it.
I don't know if I've ever seen, like, a Minions Law coming through from, like, Libs.
I would like more of it, maybe, because, I don't know, it would be humorous, because you definitely know they're not about that smoke.
But yeah, I like how they just think that... I see it all the time, there must be Democrats feeding it.
The Democrat version of Civil War is just like, Starve the South!
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Cut em off!
Um... It cannot?
Okay.
They will all be arrested in time, but the narrative must be put in place before such happenings can commence.
Again, creative writing exercises.
It cannot be understated just how important narrative control is in this situation, says the person whose only job is to write on the Internet.
The person whose only life is to write.
Oh, narrative control, I assure you, is the most important thing.
Do not do real politics.
It's all about narrative control.
Thank God for people like this, because my dumb ass just would not understand what's happening right now.
Totally.
I'm so happy that you're gonna break it down for us.
That's like the real reason they hate like media figures and talking heads is not because they believe that doing punditry is fake politics and a distraction.
No, they hate those pundits because they are committing the ultimate sin, which is using their power of the pundit class for evil.
They're not using it to craft a good narrative, which is essential to politics.
They're crafting the bad.
They're using that power for ill.
It cannot be understated just how important narrative control is in this situation.
The narrative is the battlefield of this fifth generation war.
And then Madrashro replies, you don't think arresting Bush would be an extremely strong way to gain narrative control?
And then Pepe C says, most normies don't have any idea how bad the Bushes really are.
I mean, yeah, I guess you're right.
I still see motherfuckers posting about him being cute, being a cute old man who paints now.
Like the libs do that, but like I think what it is, is there is no, there's no fandom.
He doesn't have a big, he doesn't have like a, I don't think there's the, the overlap of like MAGA people and Bush people aren't necessarily the same thing.
I'm trying to, I'm trying to work this out.
Like if I saw Bush indicted for a crime, I would be like way happier than if I saw Trump indicted for a crime.
I don't know because like, Because Bush isn't a hot, hot ticket right now.
Bush isn't on the radar of a lot of people.
A lot of Democrats excused Bush's fucking genocide in Iraq because he was anti-Trump.
So I feel like, yeah, if Trump somehow involved himself in getting Bush arrested.
There would be a liberal pushback.
Libs would cry on Twitter or Facebook or whatever.
But absent that, like this indictment isn't really connected to Biden.
It's connected to, I guess, George Soros.
So they have that boogeyman in there.
But if Bush were just indicted for doing fucking war crimes.
Like, something that would never happen again.
I'll just go out on a limb and say that.
I feel like most people would be cool with that.
Yeah, I think so.
I would hope so.
Like how popular is Bush right now?
How popular is the Iraq war right now?
Like there's been some revisionism, but I feel like it's still mostly pretty sour in people's mouths.
I just, I love the idea of like, no, I'm going to have to like Trump master 15 dimensional chess player.
Well, see, I'm going to have to get arrested myself so that people will accept the idea that you can arrest a president.
But they're also going to think my arrest was bad, but I can use that to then arrest other people.
Yeah.
Well, what it is, is that like, we know that they're going to make some mistakes the first time.
It's going to be hard.
There's going to be flubs.
So go ahead and spar with me.
You know, I'm going to, I'm going to win.
Um, and we're going to, we're going to take notes and I'm going to, I'm going to let you know what you could have done better.
And we're going to do that against Clinton.
You're going to learn a lot.
Yeah.
It's also, I mean, I think the biggest thing here is kind of going back to like the media and punditry angle is this is all based on the fantasy that the public support means anything.
That like Trump would get the public to support his quest against the deep state and that would somehow enable him to do it.
Yeah.
Like, like they don't need our public support for anything.
That's fucking obvious.
Like, despite the fact that you think Democrats are sheep and they're just going along with whatever Biden says, like, don't you think that there's a majority of the people in this country who don't like the system the way it works or don't like the way it's executed or who are unhappy?
I mean, you look at any polling and like a majority of people think that the country's headed in the wrong direction.
What does that change?
You know that that's the way it is right now.
Why would you think Oh, Trump just needs to do a dance in front of everybody and mystify them and get them on his side, and then he can actually do some politics once he's got the will of the people behind him.
Yeah, he just needs some juice right now, and this is going to help him out.
Like the one tweet I saw, they're turning him into Tupac.
I don't know if you knew this, but people love Tupac, so yeah, this is what's happening.
It's the courtroom.
The courtroom is what got people into Tupac.
All of this is based on a narcissism that you paying attention to TV or the internet will somehow affect politics.
You got somehow like won over by another narcissist who convinced you to parasocially attach yourself to him.
And so of course, like that's the only way forward is, you know, That's the only way to express these ideas or resolve these ideas is just by posting on social media and by crafting narratives, crafting a comfortable narrative that is so important.
It's just so important right now.
It's the most important thing you could do, actually.
Well, I mean, when we look back at this, you know, years from now, we're going to be able to say, hey, we had our narratives the whole time.
At least we had our narratives.
Right.
Alright, well we got a little bit of time well we got a little bit of time left.
So I figure, hey, why not talk about the working class issues?
And the best way I know how to do that is by listening to senators.
Listening to senators.
Yeah, they know what's up.
I heard that Mitt Romney interviewed Howard Schultz The CEO of Starbucks.
And I mean, Jesus Christ, you don't even... I mean, what a dream come true!
I mean, normally you'd be like, well, it'd be a fly on that wall.
Here, just the idea is going back and forth between these two titans.
Well, it was all recorded on camera on C-SPAN.
And I'm just thrilled that finally working class issues were getting their day in the Senate.
Yeah, courtesy of Mitt Romney and Howard Schultz.
Now, go ahead.
Yeah.
Because it's like they're not just working class people.
They're like really smart working class people, which is something we don't know anything about.
So it's like they're speaking for us, but in a more elevated fashion that we can't possibly comprehend.
Like, I mean, having a job is one thing.
Imagine creating a job.
I can't.
It's beyond my scope of it's beyond my scope, period.
I don't know nothing about creating jobs.
All I know is about work, working them.
Very funny.
So what we're talking about here is Bernie Sanders, I guess, subpoenaed Howard Schultz to the Senate to account for his crimes against his employees.
And I mean that literally, because Starbucks has been, I believe, convicted, found guilty of like 130
Illegalities crimes against their organ his organizing Staff at you know locations Starbucks locations across the country Now I I'm torn between This you know he does get grilled by by Bernie Sanders and Which I am for.
That's fun.
That's fine.
I like to hear Bernie Sanders say cool things about working people and about organized labor and the challenges that the working class faces.
But on the other hand, like, watching this shit, watching Howard Schultz behind a desk in front of a Senate, it just gives me such bad vibes.
It just, like, it reminds me of why I fucking hate electoral politics.
Because it's like, sure, he's gonna be criticized and maybe even owned.
Maybe he'll even be owned to his face, and that's fine.
But I'm just reminded of, like, What a fucking toothless beast the Senate is as it pertains to, you know, working class issues and working people's rights and livelihood.
Yeah, because this isn't going to result in him, like, you know, going to prison or anything like that.
This isn't.
You know, he's not going to.
It's just this is it.
This is I mean, I don't know how they can't prosecute him or.
They can't do that there, right?
Well, they're not doing it there.
They're doing it through the National Labor Relations Board, which is, like, theoretically the policing arm, you know, for working people, for employees in this country.
But all it means, he might get fined.
Like, Starbucks is going to get fined a few thousand dollars.
They'll be made to pay back unpaid wages with zero interest.
That's like the extent of the punishment that's going to be levied.
You know, and the National Labor Relations Board is like a good thing.
It's just nowhere near enough.
You know, it's nowhere near what it should be, obviously.
Yeah, let's listen to, again, Mitt Romney.
Oh, dude, while I was... Just right before we started recording, I was reminded of another insufferable band name.
Uh, which, which was, uh, Rit Momney.
That's a real band?
It's a real band.
He's got, like, 90,000 subscribers on YouTube.
I hate it.
That's not, like... It's not that, it's not even that funny.
No, it's not at all.
It sucks.
Uh, yeah, I guess it's better than Chillary Clinton.
No way.
Is it, is like, what kind of music is it?
Is it like...
Thrash?
No, Mitt Romney is like electronic R&B maybe?
I don't really know those genres.
It's just a guy, you know?
Just a guy and some computers.
How would you want to be affiliated with that?
So anyway, the real Mitt Romney, here he is talking to Howard Schultz.
I defer to Senator Romney.
Thank you, Mr. Chairman and Ranking Member Cassidy.
I recognize at the outset there's some irony to a non-coffee-drinking Mormon conservative defending a Democrat candidate for president in perhaps one of the most liberal companies in America.
Whoa, that's true!
The lip service there.
Howard Schultz totally was a Democratic candidate.
Why did he run again?
Oh yeah, because he wanted to defeat Bernie Sanders?
He ran as an explicitly right-wing Democrat?
Wow, how ironic that I would be up here defending an explicit capitalist, an anti-working son of a bitch.
Can you believe it?
Mitt Romney?
Of Bain Capital?
I don't even drink coffee.
For a start, I have no, you know, I have no reason, I'm not gonna get a gift card out of this.
I don't, you know, this is not gonna help me any.
And that is funny because he does, like, we've brought up this irony on the show before, of all these right-wing culture warriors, the second, like, a threat is actually posed to Starbucks, the company they purport to hate, the second a threat is actually levied against Starbucks by their workers, the people most capable of actually challenging Starbucks, Well, I guess we're going to have to go ahead and side with the woke coffee company now.
Oops.
Oops, shucks.
It's like, yeah, you you really yeah, you really are telling on yourself.
You are like saying out loud, like I actually care.
I care more about like CEOs and business owners being able to take advantage of the workers than I do about the woke stuff.
Yeah, it's almost like the woke stuff was a distraction to begin with, and when people bypass the woke stuff by organizing their workplaces, you're like, oh, never mind.
I actually like the woke corporation now.
Yeah.
Um, second of all, yeah, it is funny.
Like you said, um, him bringing up that he's a Mormon and he doesn't drink coffee.
Well, I have no interest.
I have no dog in this fight.
I don't drink coffee.
Very, very funny way of like, uh, pretending impartiality, you know?
Um, second of all, I learned this Do you know one of Mitt Romney's first projects with Bain Capital?
So Bain Capital is of course the vulture capitalist organization that Mitt Romney was part of that caused him a lot of problems in the 2012 election when he ran against Obama on a record of destroying businesses and firing workers.
It's probably what Bain Capital is best known for.
However, I discovered that one of the first things Mitt Romney did with Bain Capital Was go over to the crumbling U.S.S.R.
when it fell, when the fucking quality of life, the life expectancy cratered in the U.S.S.R.
Yeah.
Well that's okay because Mitt Romney and Bain Capital went over there to sell them cigarettes.
Amazing.
Mitt Romney used the fall of the USSR, the collapse of their entire fucking economy of that part of the world, the collapse of the quality of life, to corner the cigarette market in Russia.
I mean, yeah, like, when you're suffering from all those things, a cigarette's kind of nice.
You know, he's just doing them a favor.
He's just helping them out.
So I find it pretty rich for him to be like, I don't even drink coffee and yet I'm here defending a coffee billionaire?
Okay, back to this video.
I also think it's somewhat rich that...
Hmm.
Interesting choice of word.
It's a bit rich.
Yeah.
Rich that you're being grilled by people who have never had the opportunity to create a single job.
And yet they believe that they know better how to do so.
Again, Bain Capital, famous for liquidating jobs, for closing company, forcing mass layoffs, defunding people's pensions, And getting- and profiting off of it.
Bro!
Like, you deserve so- you deserve so much coming to you, man.
I mean, you're focusing on- you're focusing on the fact that they terminated jobs.
You gotta remember they had to create the job before they terminated it.
So... Like, they're- who- who- the guy over his left shoulder is just having the best time.
Like, just cracked the biggest smile and is like- they're having the best time up here being, like, Rich guys.
It's so funny.
They're just up here being rich guys.
It's pretty blatant and upsetting to watch.
I think it's a bit rich that we're supposed to listen to people who aren't even rich?
What?
The way he said it too.
They haven't been given the opportunity to create jobs.
Is that what you think happened to you?
You were given the opportunity to create jobs?
Oh God.
Is that how he said it?
Yeah, I think so.
This is like American brain poisoning.
You have to say the words opportunity and job and create jobs in every sentence as an American.
You just have to.
Oh, because we're in the land of opportunity.
So you just fucking work that into every homespun turn of phrase you can come up with in a moment.
Yeah.
You never had the opportunity to.
I thought America was the land of opportunity.
How come he how come he didn't have the opportunity to create any jobs?
Huh?
Yeah, I think you can just do it.
I know you can, like, I know you need the opportunity to do it.
Just nonsense.
I also, man, like creating jobs.
So we're talking about unions.
We're talking about workers, talking about organized labor.
This is obviously like a shot across the bow, both at workers who don't don't create jobs, you know, according to this like way of analyzing the economy and unions, you know, who he claims don't create jobs or whatever.
The idea of creating jobs in general is always so annoying to me.
And I mean, this is something like even your bog standard liberal democrat will take issue with.
But it's such an asinine way of saying, hey, I needed you to do something.
I created a job.
Yeah.
I needed you to do this for me.
You should thank me for needing your help.
Yeah, for giving you the opportunity to come help me.
I mean, give me the opportunity.
Give me the opportunity, and I promise I will create jobs.
I think that we need to invest more in D's.
And I think if we put more people working in D's, then that's the only way we're going to make it out of this.
What is D's?
I don't know.
D's Nuts?
Oh shit!
I was like, it better not be this.
It's exactly that.
That's what I would tell Mitt Romney.
Yeah, I'm a job creator.
I needed you to do the work for me.
Okay, man.
Cool.
Second of all, like, Unions don't create jobs.
Unions work jobs.
Unions do the fucking work of the job, right?
Not only that, not only do they do all the fucking labor, the act of organizing a union makes that job a better job.
So regardless of who created it, I don't care if you fucking created a job.
Oh, I needed you to do all my grocery shopping.
I'm gonna give you five dollars.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
You didn't do shit, okay?
Now my union, my union makes sure I make a living fucking wage, my union makes sure I have health care, my union makes sure I have time off, sick leave, rights at work, you know, to prevent myself, to keep me from being harassed by a fucking mummy like Howard Schultz trying to tell me that we're all in a concentration camp together and that's why I don't need worker protections.
That's what a union does.
Okay, go ahead and create your job.
It doesn't mean anybody's going to fucking want to work it or succeed while they're doing it.
It's going to suck.
Yeah.
Job.
And yet they believe that they know better how to do so and what's best for the American worker and what's best for the American economy.
Because they are the workers.
They are the workers, man.
Like, what you're arguing is that I, Mitt Romney, or I, Howard Schultz, actually know what's best for the American worker.
But you can't come out and say that.
You have to, like, diffuse it or misdirect it into, oh, they think they know what's best for the American worker just because they're workers.
Yeah, no, if you knew what was best, you wouldn't be a worker.
Best for growth.
I also think it's rich to not recognize the extraordinary conflict of interest we have, which is our Democrat colleagues overwhelmingly get their campaign funds from unions, and therefore would like to find every possible way to extend unions, even if an enterprise feels that it's in their best interest, to pursue a different course.
That's definitely one thing I've noticed throughout the years being a union employee is how biased Democrats are towards the unions and just how much they've given the unions over the last, you know, 20, 30 years.
Wow.
Look, look at the, look at the growth in the union movement.
Thanks.
All thanks to Democrats.
Oh man, that, that does kind of say something, right?
Like that sucks.
Like maybe Democrats, if Democrats really did care, they would maybe, I don't advocate a little bit for unions.
I've never, I don't, you don't hear it.
I never, you don't hear many Democrats saying anything pro union.
They just happen to be, I guess, getting some funds from them.
Well, they say, they say pro union stuff.
Um, and then occasionally like, but like Biden, uh, helped out the unions with one of the COVID relief packages.
Um, But then you get things like Obama totally dropping the idea of card check, which is one of his campaign promises, um, uh, bills to make it easier for unions to organize.
No, it's, it's a joke.
It's the, the, the fact that like, I don't know, what did he say?
Democrats get most of their money from unions.
I don't think that's true.
I think that's true.
Probably it's something like Silicon Valley, Gives Democrats, if we're talking about like, you know, money from a single source, it's probably tech or military industrial contractors.
Yeah.
Now, I know that there are a number of reasons why you might wish not to have union organization in your various enterprises.
At the same time, I agree.
Also, it's not like a conflict of interest either, even if you were pro-union.
That is, like, in your interest to own Howard Schultz.
You know what I mean?
It's not quite like a conflict of interest.
It's more like, no, this is my interest.
He's almost saying you can't advocate for things that benefit you.
Which makes no sense.
Yeah.
I agree with Senator Cassidy and with your own comments, Mr. Schultz, which is that people have a legal right to form a union.
There are some employers that are not... Whoa, that's so progressive of you, Mitt Romney.
People have a legal right to form a union.
Wow.
Well, yeah, it's like the First Amendment.
You have a right to say what you want, but what happens afterwards, that's also your right.
The enterprise, including yours, has broken the law that it should be held accountable for having done so.
At the same time, there are legitimate reasons why an enterprise might choose not to become unionized.
I first would note that within your company, there are probably some stores that are union.
Okay, let me... There's a lot of reasons an enterprise wouldn't want to become union.
This motherfucker can't stop talking about companies like they're people.
Well, yeah, yeah.
I think it's because, yeah, when you're part of something as large as he has, you know, say like Bain Capital, or you're in front of someone like Howard Schultz, you are thinking, you are like, look, we are seeing past the business.
We are talking about the people, you know?
Yeah.
These businesses have owners, and they have addresses, you know?
But in a different direction than we take it.
Yeah, we should send them chocolates.
Yeah, no, but that phrase, oh, enterprises have the right to decide if they want to join a union.
It's like, what do you mean by enterprise?
It sounds like you're talking about the company, the people that the workers organize against, or I should say the legal entity that the workers organize against.
So interesting use of words there from Romney.
But he keeps going.
Some that are non-union.
Do the non-union store, non-union.
Do the note that within your company, there are probably some stores that are union, some that are non-union.
It said probably?
Like you haven't been following the news and you know that there's dozens of newly organized Starbucks stores?
It's like the marquee story of the modern labor movement.
He's like, I'm sure theoretically some stores are unionized.
Uh, it's like, that's the whole reason he's here.
Yeah.
One of the reasons he's here is because he's closed some of those stores because they unionized.
It's such a phony act, man.
I fucking hate this guy.
Non-union store employees get paid less than the union store?
I first would note that within your company, there are probably some stores that are union, some that are non-union.
Do the non-union store employees get paid less than the union store employees?
The starting wage has been the same.
The only difference is the benefits that we created in May.
And my understanding under the law is that we were not allowed to provide those benefits to people who are organizing to join a union.
Okay, so...
So a few things right here.
One thing, when he first says it, while I'm assuming the non-union stores have lower pay, right?
Because we've all been led to believe that unions are creating better paying jobs.
Is that true?
And he's like, well, actually, no, the pay's the same.
And the reason for that is because Starbucks has refused to negotiate with the unions that have formed.
Starbucks has not recognized any of the unions They were formed unless they were mandated to do so by the National Labor Relations Board.
And even still, they have not signed any actual contract with those employees.
So, of course, the pay is the same because you've been refusing to negotiate with the organized employees.
Second of all, he tries to say, well, actually, benefits are better at the non-union store Because we raised benefits in May to spite the union organizers organizing the other shops!
Like he admits to one of the many illegal activities that he was convicted of.
Starbucks was, I don't know if convicted is the right word, but found to be guilty of by the National Labor Relations Board.
He admit it!
Yeah, and he's saying, like, well, I mean, we were told, I'm pretty sure we weren't allowed, we weren't allowed to offer them to them because they're... But, you know, earlier, we were talking about how you can do whatever the fuck you want.
So why can't you just do that too?
Like, shut the fuck up.
They're so full of shit.
Yeah, well, I think it's probably something to the effect of there's, like, some law that says, you know, if a union forms, You have to negotiate the terms of employment with that union.
You can't unilaterally hand down changes in the job description or the benefits package or anything like that.
He says, oh, cool.
So I'll do that for everybody else in order to spite those union employees.
The last thing I'll mention here is that, yes, he raised benefits.
Starbucks raised benefits for non-union stores.
Guess what?
Those benefits only kick in when you work a certain number of hours a week, and Starbucks has been cutting people's hours so they don't have to pay them benefits at those non-union stores, which is what happens when you don't have a union.
Yeah, and that's something that's been happening forever, and they literally just ticked it up.
I mean, Starbucks is notorious for doing that.
I worked there for years, a long time ago, and everything they did back then, they're still doing now.
Sometimes it's not even about the pay.
It's about the conditions.
It's about the schedule.
It's about getting guaranteed your hours.
It's about stability.
It's about the culture.
It's about the working environment, what it's like to work there.
Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you, but I've probably said this before on the show, I've worked at four different Teamsters buildings.
I've worked at four different Teamsters UPS buildings.
The buildings where management had the most respect for employees and employees had the most respect for management were the buildings that were organized by the strongest locals.
Like, that's, you know, you'll never catch me, like, fuck, you know, sucking off management or anything, but, like, the building that I'm at right now, it's a strong union presence, it's a strong union shop, and there's a mutual respect for the most part, you know?
I'm not gonna say that there's no harassment, I'm not gonna say that there's no, like, Snide comments or anything like that, but in terms of actual discipline, in terms of actual face-to-face communication, it's one of the best places I've worked.
And it's because you have the backing of the union to keep everybody honest.
Yeah, and that doesn't exist at Starbucks.
You just show up, you get your schedule, it changes every week.
You're probably going to have to clope in, which is a thing that Starbucks is notorious for.
I remember many nights leaving at 12.30 and having to get there at 4 in the morning.
12.30 at night, 4 in the morning.
But it's okay because both those shifts were like 5 hour shifts.
So they're not even real shifts.
Yeah, and then you'd make a video saying, I only got two hours of sleep last night, and I'm still not even technically full time.
You'd make a video of that on TikTok, and every dude who's worked like 45 hours in his life would try and dunk on you for being a pussy or whatever.
Yeah.
But in reality, I would just go party and then show up to work a little drunk.
Because you got a bunch of coffee waiting for you, so you'll make it.
Yeah, I did that one time at a totally different job.
One that I don't work at right now.
Totally different warehouse.
But I worked my evening shift and then came back.
I double shifted, but it sucked because all the part-time shifts were so spread out you had to leave and come back if you wanted to work a double.
So I worked my evening shift, drank a couple beers, got a ride back to work, and fell through a gap between a trailer and the dock.
While I was loading a trailer.
And I was just wearing basketball shorts.
But luckily, I had my keys in my pocket.
I had a fat set of keys in my pocket.
So when my right leg slid through the gap between the dock and the trailer, my keys stopped me by catching between.
And then I almost fell backwards out the side Of the building, because there was no pad that's supposed to be on both sides of the trailer.
You know, sticking out from the building that's supposed to take up the gap the trailer leaves.
But I threw my arms out and I grabbed the building and the trailer and I didn't fall.
But I did have an 8-inch purple bruise on my thigh for a week or two.
Yeah, that sucks.
You probably had a little scraping going on.
That's awful.
Yeah, a little bloody.
Don't recommend that.
Probably don't have a couple beers before you go back.
I don't even know if that was the cause of it, but it probably was.
Yeah, don't drink beers unless you have a job where you can sit down like if you're a forklift driver.
I wouldn't say that either, probably.
Avoid heavy machinery altogether.
Thank you, Mitt Romney.
Thank you, Bernie Sanders.
Thank you, Howard Schultz, for giving us your time today.
And thank you to the listener for listening to Minion Death Cult.
If you want more episodes, more content like this, go over to Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com slash MinionDeathCult.
The link is also in this episode's description.
Where you'll get two bonus episodes every week including a live stream, Death Chat 500.
We do with listeners every Saturday at 5pm Pacific Standard Time.
It is a looser format show where we chat with listeners, go through a lot of the same stuff we talk about on Minion Death Cult with a little more culture thrown in.
A little more music, a little more movies, a little more...
We talked about Jim life, we talked about Tony's Jim in Right Wing Enclave in Southern California and all the curious characters that brings out.
We also went through some of my favorite memes that I've seen in Bangers.
Snowflake, Tard, Liberal, Palooza, Meme Vault.
I didn't know they still made demotivational memes, but one guy is in there making them.
Boy, are they good.
Yeah, absolute heat over there.
If you like the show, you can also Leave us a rating and review on iTunes.
Uh, it's extremely helpful.
Five stars would be great.
And then, uh, you know, just say like, nice show.
Hey, nice show.
You got there.
Would be a shame if any shame would be a shame if anything happened to it.
Parentheses, uh, sincerely, you know, not a threat.
Um, yeah.
Thank you to Wally Pie for the review.
Thank you to Tony Mozzarella Balls, so I think that's a different Tony, although he seems like he's got a lot in common.
It is, it is.
Thank you to Alex, different Alex.
Thank you to Wang Cheesy.
Thank you to Jill Orp.
Thank you to Jane Monster.
Thank you to Scott Jones.
No thank you, however, to Swaggy Mom!
Uh, who gave us one star and titled their review, Morons.
And then the body of the review says, trust me, they're morons.
So it's not very swaggy.
It's not very swaggy, mom.
It's not very swaggy.
It's also extremely ableist.
So I think I'm going to ask iTunes to remove the remove this abusive language from our show.
I just I don't want anybody seeing this, you know, who who might not take it as with with as much aplomb as we have.
Yeah.
But yeah, we appreciate everybody rating and review the show.
