This week Tony has an incredible story about landlord dick pics, We unearth a song from Drive Angry 3D that has been scrubbed from the internet by the son of a famous actor who was in Drive Angry 3D And read the worst pro-Democrat propaganda book in existence: Why Mommy Is A Democrat ------------------------- Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week. Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000 with Bryan Quinby; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult
You had a story that you promised was gonna be the funniest thing I had ever heard in my life, and you said the listeners... Oh, I don't think I said all that.
We could even charge people, like, double to hear this story.
So it's this, like, super funny thing that happened.
So, uh, early in the pandemic, like, when it first happened, I was in a house situation where I ended up having to, uh, I ended up having to live with my daughter and her mom, right?
And I moved out, and it was all hunky-dory.
And I moved to my place, and then they moved out of that place.
And as we moved out of that place, her mom is like, hey, dude.
So I found that SD card.
And I was like, what SD card?
She goes, and I thought maybe it was old pictures of Penny.
So I put it in the computer, and it was, It was, it was your fucking dick?
And I'm like, whoa, why, whoa, what?
I don't think that that's, but I'm also in a position where I'm like, I, you know, what am I supposed to say here?
Like, oh shit, did I do that?
Like, did I leave an, is my dick on an SD card?
I didn't think it was.
Why, why was your dick on an SD card, Tony?
Well, I, that's the thing.
I was very confused here.
Big mystery, who knows?
As that happened, As that happened, it was kind of like, uh... She was kind of like, I'm gonna let you off with this, bro.
I'm gonna let you off with this.
Like, you're not gonna... I'm not even mad at you.
It's fucking weird.
It's weird that you did it.
It's weird that you hid it in the pantry.
I'm like, I hid it in the pantry?
What are you talking about?
I did not hide anything in the pantry.
But I'm also like, she's like, I saw, I saw, I saw the dick.
I saw the dick.
And I'm like, this is so crazy.
So then I recently needed to get an SD card.
And she goes, Hey, I have that SD card.
And I was like, she kept it.
She's still, she kept it.
Yeah.
So she said, I found an SD card with your dick on it.
I'm going to hang on to it.
It's my SD.
She did the teacher's move.
She was like, this is going in my collection.
So she's like, uh, you know, she's like, I thought maybe there's something else you need on it.
So I didn't throw it away or whatever.
Cause I'm kind of like, I'm not going to be like, Hey, let me get that.
Let me get that SD card with my dick on it.
Let me get that back.
So I would, I wouldn't want that floating around out there.
I mean, if anyone can have it, it's she can, you know, whatever she's earned.
I mean, it's the dicks, the dicks all over the place.
Anyways, it's just funny that it's on this SD card.
Also, it's all over the saturated the market already.
The value on this SD card is pretty low.
So she brings me the SD card, and it's old as fuck.
It's super old.
It's like 16 gigabytes.
Yeah.
And I'm like, what is this?
And I'm like, hold on.
16 gigabytes.
That only held three pictures of my dick.
Yeah.
I was like, hold up.
Let me throw that.
Let me throw that SD card at the computer.
Let's look at this fucking dick.
And sure enough, I look at it and the file, the oldest file is like, the newest file is like 2006?
And I'm like, what is this?
I don't even have a digital camera in 2006.
And sure enough, there's some dick on it.
There's some white man's dick on it.
There's like, it's only 16 pictures on this whole SD card and it's all dick.
It's all dick.
None of them are mine.
This is not my dick at all.
This is not my beautiful dick.
This is her landlord's dick.
She was renting out the back house that used to be his studio.
Let me ask you a question.
Sorry to interrupt, but did she get her security deposit back?
Because if not, I know of a way to do it.
Yeah yeah I think I think that's we might have to think we have to figure that out um it was so funny because like the pictures were so funny because it was mostly just Dick pics, but on some 2007 point-and-shoot camera.
Very hip right now.
Very cool.
Probably a cool pics.
And like, one of them was just like... This is funny that she saw this and was like, yep, this is him.
This is Tony's picture.
One of them was just Dick, and then a tablespoon full of cum.
Like a silver tablespoon full of cum.
I don't trust a landlord with a spoonful of cum.
That is not going somewhere good.
That's a crime.
Whatever he did with that cum was for sure a crime.
It's not okay.
But I'm just like, you thought I'm just taking pictures of a spoonful of cum?
You think that's what I'm doing with my life?
And what sucks is, so I was like, dude, you got to tell everyone you told.
You got to tell everyone.
You got to clear my name.
It was funny though, she was like, no, I didn't tell anybody.
For some reason, this was like your get agile free card move.
Like, I didn't tell anybody.
And I'm like, damn it.
Well, it's not even funny anymore.
Like, you don't even get to like, have this conversation with people.
But yeah, I was vindicated.
It was a 16, 16 gigabyte.
Yeah.
Panasonic SD card with some old, some old man now, young man then dick.
Very, very funny.
Were any of the dicks wearing really tight, striped hoodies?
Did any of them have fingerless gloves?
Was any of them wearing an all-over print, full-zip hoodie?
Were the pubic hairs styled in the manner of Pete Wentz, by any chance?
Were they flat-ironed?
That's the joke.
That's a bad example, because we do know what his pubic hair looked like then.
Oh, I see.
I never looked.
That was revenge porn.
It leaked without her permission.
And so I didn't like the guy.
I thought he, you know, mighty cool.
You were in a cool hardcore band one time.
Big Whoop.
We all were.
Big Whoop.
But I still didn't look at his nudes because they were leaked without his permission.
So I don't know what his pubes look like, Tony.
How do you know what his pubes look like?
I think the joke might actually be that I might not know what they look like because I don't know if they existed.
Yeah, they're probably trimmed pretty tight.
Yeah, it was super funny.
Everybody in the chat is making excuses for why they looked.
Sorry.
No, it wasn't right.
I don't care if you were just a child.
It's not right.
I was checking the site for other people.
I was looking for clues as to who could have leaked them.
I would exact my revenge upon them.
Yeah.
Okay, that was a funny story.
I it was a good one.
It was really it was really I had a great time I was so stressed when like when the pictures were loading.
I was like, oh no Oh, no, is this my did I do that?
What cuz I went through some moments I was like did I do I forget I forget about hiding an SD card with a bunch of my dicks on it in a pantry That's a that was a wild moment man.
What's going on with you?
What what about you?
Okay, what about your dick was similar to the dick in the photos?
What similarities did you share?
That's what I'm saying.
It was a good dick.
It was a good dick.
It was a nice dick.
It was pretty large.
You never have to hand it to a landlord, Tony, all right?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's a weirdo.
I mean, he's, yeah.
But that's what's funny.
The thing is, I think that she didn't, because she said that when she opened it up, she just closed your laptop immediately.
But she knew at first sight.
She's like, I thought it was going to be old pictures of Penny.
And then it was like a dick.
That's the worst possible out- I guess like a gory picture would be more worse than if you're trying to look at a picture of your child, but it's just like a fucking penis in full frame.
What?
What's happening here?
I've seen that open up was really stressful and very vindicating.
It was very funny.
We had a good laugh about it.
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