This week we hear about a movie about a man with enough guts to violate a high school restraining order--as many times as it takes to prove his love for the American flag Also, a woman releases a swarm of bees on sheriff's deputies when they try to evict one of her neighbors. We are "beeyond" horrified. Finally, we meet a conservative cartoonist whose facebook-boomer sense of humor becomes something far more powerful when he takes up the written word. Help us do the show for only $3.11/month and get a bonus episode every week as well as instant access to hundreds of bonus episodes right in your podcast app or browser. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Music: Show Me The Body - Not For Love Pile - A Labyrinth With No Center
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned, guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
All they're in Bartholstein.
Stay tuned.
Okay, I'm Alexander Edward.
Thank you.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we're Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Democrat bees are responsible.
We're documenting it.
What's up, everybody?
It is your show for the week.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
We have a lot of fun stuff to get to.
Did you see this new movie coming out from John Schneider, the guy who was in Dukes of Hazzard, one of the Dukes of Hazzard?
I saw it and I just recently saw that it's actually real is what is what's really the news to me.
There is kind of like a two step process you have to go through when you see these stories like, oh, oh, looks looks like one of the most awful movies I've ever seen.
Now I have to look to see if this is like a prank being played on me to try and trick me into doing an episode about it on my on my podcast.
And yeah, and then you find out no, it's real.
Yeah, especially with like, you know, the rehearsal season 2 coming one day.
You can't really trust anything that looks like this.
It's amazing.
So the movie is all about a guy who gets cancelled for having an American flag in the back of his car.
Uh, it's not quite, I read somewhere that it was based on a true story about a guy who like gets arrested for, for driving around a neighborhood, uh, split driving around a school.
In fact, uh, blazing an American flag from the back of his truck.
Uh, if you know the, uh, the quote true story that this is based on, feel free to send it to me.
Um, I haven't found it yet.
Yeah, I'm also going to need some sort of law to reference before I do a citizen's arrest, so please send it our way.
Yeah, you gotta have your bases covered.
I think maybe a guy being too close to a school, getting arrested for being within a certain distance of a school, maybe there's something else going on, maybe the American flag wasn't that... Hey, if you're a sex offender, why not try carrying an American flag around you wherever you go?
Yeah, that's a good move.
This is why I'm being removed, because of this flag.
Nothing else.
I'm being censored.
The law states that I have to introduce myself.
Hi, I'm Alexander Edward.
And inform you that I'm a patriot and a sex offender.
And I have to tell the whole neighborhood about how patriotic and creepy I am.
Yeah, I'm a pedophile patriot.
If you forget, just say the P word, and it means patriot.
Yeah, the LGBTQIA plus community, they're trying to add a P to that, but it's not both of them, unfortunately.
Unfortunately.
Only like 50% of me.
But these colors don't run, so I will be only giving 50% to it, you know?
Um this movie looks like if there's a trailer available uh and it looks fantastic um it looks like it was filmed entirely on green screen like even the in indoor shots of like him in his woodshed talking to a young boy teaching him about the importance of the American flag.
Yeah, yeah.
Like that's what I saw.
I saw the super cut of green screen images and then I saw the trailer and I was like, oh, oh, it all has this feel.
Okay, cool.
What is your problem with the flag?
It's not my flag.
That's your flag.
Too many lies have been told to my people under the shadow of that flag.
Then why don't you take it down?
From where?
Your truck.
My truck?
My flag?
Some people find it offensive.
What if I find them offensive?
You gonna take that down?
Why not take the new trail?
Because I like the old trail.
It's my road too, Barney.
I know, but there are other roads.
I got a shotgun!
It seems to me some things are worth losing your job over, Maggie.
Not to me.
Fourth of July's over.
Take your flag down, old man.
It's always Fourth of July at my house.
All of the grass shall grow, and the water run.
I told you what would happen the next time you touch my flag, Tonto.
What are you gonna do with that gun?
Don't get out of my yard, you'll find out.
And I can identify with Mr. Quinn's position on this matter.
Why the hell is everybody so damn worried about losing their jobs and so little worried about losing their freedom?
Next time I'll cut a donut in your damn living room!
Touch my flag again.
In fact, that school is where I learned to say the Pledge of Allegiance in the first place.
Indivisible, but you live under it now.
I live next to it.
Yeah, so here's an article from Fox Business.
John Schneider rips narcissistic Hollywood culture for being, quote, afraid to have independent thought.
Yeah.
That is one thing I've noticed about narcissists is they are afraid to have independent thoughts.
It's true.
That's how you get diagnosed as a narcissist.
Well, I'm just scared to say what's on my mind.
Scared to be my own person.
I don't feel like I have enough of an identity to be my own person.
Just because I think I'm more valuable than other people doesn't mean anything.
Quote, the Dukes of Hazzard star released independent film, quote, to die for, honoring patriotism and US freedom.
Um, I love that it's called to die for because then you can be like, Oh, well, you know, the reason my movie has only made about $50 us, uh, because they're, they're shadow banning me and not because there's already a much more popular movie called to die for in public circulation available on streaming apps.
Something totally different.
It actually, the title is, the title is Stolen Valor, if you think about it.
That would be a better name for this movie.
Because that's what they say, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, they say like, you know, they'll die for the flag and they go do it.
They actually go do it.
But this guy's just driving with a truck.
Well, I don't want to give away any spoilers, you know, I haven't seen the movie yet, but, uh, the trailer does lead me to believe that he literally dies, uh, holding up an American flag from touching the ground.
It's like flagpole is falling down in the front of his yard, or maybe it's the school's flagpole or something.
And he's like, like Iwo Jima soldiers at Iwo Jima holding the flagpole up and he, and you hear a gunshot and he gets shot.
So.
Oh no.
Oh no.
I'm probably going to cry.
Yeah, I'm getting strong like, uh...
Five-finger death punch cop running with the American flag getting gunned down by Antifa leftists.
I'm getting strong like those kind of vibes, but just much less money behind it.
Let me read here from this article.
Former the Dukes of Hazzard star John Schneider ripped Hollywood for going woke and caring only about the bottom line as he said he has been forced to produce his new film without any major studio backing.
I hate it when Hollywood goes woke and doesn't give any money.
Yeah.
I mean, come on, man.
You couldn't get anyone to back you?
That has to be because you're too much of a freethinker.
That makes sense.
You're from the Dukes of Hazzard, brother!
Go woke, go broke.
And by that I mean only care about the bottom line.
Yeah, yeah.
There has, I'm sure there's like tons of producers that have General Lee replicas.
Like that, and you couldn't, you couldn't get it off the ground?
Quote, all the celebrities, God bless their cute little souls.
They owe their soul to the company store.
Snyder said on Vardian Company Friday.
Uh, for anyone who doesn't know, a company store is like when back in, you know, I don't know, the, the 1800s and the early 1900s, uh, when there used to be like mining towns and company towns where they wouldn't pay you in actual currency, they would pay you in script, in company script.
It was only good at the company store.
Yeah.
That's totally the same as you not being able to get, not like making somebody else finance your, the shittiest movie alive.
Yeah, I mean, come on.
You're so salty and it's just showing.
It's showing so bad.
This is not cute, bud.
Sorry.
Fucking, this is boomer words out.
They owe their soul to the company store.
That's right.
That's right.
Don't forget it.
Like, they are the company in this analogy?
I guess?
You're nothing without Hollywood.
Quote, they're afraid to have independent thought.
They're afraid to say something that's outside of the consumer norm.
Schneider's newly released film, quote, To Die For, was directed and produced independently, without major studio backing.
In the movie, Schneider stars alongside his wife in a story that defends patriotism, freedom of speech, and the American flag.
The storyline follows reclusive veteran Quint North, who takes a public stand for his personal freedoms after receiving a court order to keep his American flag-flying El Camino truck away from a local high school, a press release details.
Weren't there, like, stories of, like, people running down black students in, like, pickup trucks with American flags on the back?
I think maybe that's what he's getting this from?
That's totally, that stuff did happen, like, and does, I mean, probably does happen, but it was a thing for a moment, like, it was in the news, yeah.
Yeah man, it's like you can't fucking fly an American flag in the back of your car and also ram protesters down anymore unless you're in 20 out of the 50 states.
I drive by several schools every day in just my general like transit and I've never been asked to like reroute that.
You know what I mean?
You're doing something.
But I'm also not flying an American flag for my El Camino.
Yeah, I feel like you gotta be pretty bad to get a school resource officer off their ass to come, uh, come tell you something.
Quote, we made this movie with a crew of under 10 people.
Like, you're an adult, you know what I mean?
Like, a school resource officer is there to, like, grab children.
You know, they're there to, like, rough children up.
They're, you know, you gotta be a really bad adult for a school resource officer to, like, get up the courage to come confront you.
Absolutely, yeah.
We made this movie with a crew of under 10 people over the last 10 months because we had to, Schneider said in the release.
The madness has gotten to the point where something must be done.
All great movements and reclamations begin with a single thought and a God-given means of expression.
This is mine.
This is my single thought, this movie.
What?
So like, you, you think this movie is going to be the thing that changes people?
And you were like, 10 months will do it.
Yeah, it's gonna be the streaming, the content heard around the world, Tony.
It's like, he's the opposite of that character from Nope, who's like, I have to get the ultimate shot.
He's like, this is gonna change everything, but also, fuck it.
I love when it's like, the camera angle is like, at him, where he's facing an angle that's clear, because like, The green screen background image they used is also at an angle.
And the way he's facing, it's like, oh, he's talking into that wall.
Like if the room, if the room behind him is real, he's not talking to another person in the room.
He's talking to that wall.
Okay.
The actor told Fox business, Stuart Varney, that he never even approached Hollywood directors with the script.
Okay.
Quote, I'm not that naive.
I know that Hollywood would not support this.
Hollywood does not really support anything independent.
I mean, that's the definition of independent is that it doesn't have major support.
Like, sorry, you couldn't even get minor support.
You couldn't get like the Blaze to back you?
Yeah, it's gotta be pretty bad to not be, for this to not be a daily wire joint.
But then it turns out, you know, he just didn't, just didn't try at all.
I just, but I could, I just knew I could see the fear in their eyes when I come in the room.
They just know they're not, they're not prepared for my independent thought.
I mean, it really shows you how like sick and, uh, freakish these Hollywood types are that they don't even just like come to your house and be like, Hey, do you want to make a movie?
Mhm.
Yeah.
Because you're a white man who loves America?
Not anymore.
Not in today's day and age.
That is how The Conqueror got made with John Wayne.
They just went up to John Wayne and they were like, hey, would you like to be Genghis Khan?
He was like, yeah, of course.
They were like, would you also like to kill 30 people with cancer radiation from the desert?
Yeah, absolutely.
Did he do that?
I think it wasn't him, it was the studio and stuff.
Yeah, that's true.
It's got like the highest mortality rate of any film, I think.
Because people were just dying like 20 years later.
It's the scene from McClintock, it's the mud fight, but that mud was radioactive mud.
Hey, better than the mud at Woodstock 99, am I right?
Amen, brother, amen.
Their public persona is so narcissistic that they don't want anyone to know that really all they are is a line item in some group of billionaire's investment portfolio.
Yeah, it's one thing like Hollywood doesn't want you to know is they base everything around box office sales.
That's a big secret of Hollywood.
Keep it on the low.
Keep it on the low.
Also like, you know, narcissists who are like, The thing with narcissists is there's no way they can deal with me because I'm too smart for them.
Yeah, I'm too selfless.
That's the thing about narcissists.
I'm too selfless and charitable that a narcissist just would hate me.
Yeah, they would not like it.
Hollywood is all about quote business and the quote bottom line, Schneider argued, saying studios will put their pocketbook before values.
Quote, Hollywood's idea of patriotism is being able to identify and sell to a very persuadable and active and wealthy or having a lot of disposable income group of people.
Schneider said, shut the fuck up, dude.
You're making a movie.
You're making a movie in your spare time.
The rest of us have jobs, buddy.
Independently wealthy.
You were a fucking actor, man.
A long time ago.
A long time ago and it's still syndicated or something.
You're still getting paid somehow.
You can afford to take 10 months to make a movie with a crew of 10 people.
That's actually a lot.
I love this idea that Hollywood is catering to the elite movie-going public.
Like, I mean, yeah, movies have gotten more expensive, but they're still, like, a relatively accessible, affordable, you know, source of, like, Ticketmaster hasn't gotten a hold of movie theaters yet, so... Yet, yeah.
I mean, like, you know, I just knew, I knew that because I didn't have, like, a Marvel in my flag movie that if there's not a Marvel in it, then they're not gonna do it.
You know, and I certainly wasn't gonna have, like, a gay panda.
Hollywood is all about business in the bottom line, saying studios will put their pocketbook before values.
I thought your whole argument as the right wing was that Hollywood was putting their values before catering to you, the customer.
Hollywood has a gay agenda, so they're putting that gay agenda before you, the paying customer.
But now all of a sudden, when no one wants to see your shitty movie, oh, it's because the customer is actually rich, entitled, out of touch, elitist, and Hollywood is forced to cater to their whims, actually.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's disgusting.
They removed the art from the arts, man.
Whatever happened to giving me millions of dollars just because you believed in it?
This, you know, here I have a review here from the From the trailer on YouTube, Mohawk21 says, I just watched both of those movies.
I don't know what both of them were.
I think it was just one movie.
I just watched both of those movies.
Your movies are heartfelt and goofy at the same time bringing Bo Duke into the character somehow.
So I would like to watch the rest of your movies just to see if the Bo Duke character comes out in any others.
And as for, quote, to die for, I agree with you and Clint Eastwood.
Keep that flag off the ground, son.
America may not believe in you, but your belief in it keeps it going, and that flag is a symbol of that belief.
Thank you.
Contact me back if you like my saying and my ranting, dot, dot, dot, dot.
Carrying on the fighting spirit of a veteran alongside Clint Eastwood!
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
Hollywood is poison.
Clint Eastwood reminds me that America is basically Tinkerbell and if we stop believing in America and the flag by proxy then America will cease to exist and thank God for you and Clint Eastwood for reminding me of that.
I want to see this movie where John Schneider calls his Mexican or Native American neighbor Tonto, uh, and threatens him with a gun to get off his lawn because the neighbor, the neighbor is like desecrating his American flag.
Uh, and then apparently dies, apparently gets shot while holding up his own flagpole.
Uh, I think we have to watch this for the show.
So he saw Gran Torino and was like, that scene didn't go far enough.
Yeah.
He's like, Oh hell yeah.
You stand on the shoulders of giants whenever you, whenever you produce anything.
Um, so yeah, the movie is to die for.
I think, I think we might watch that this week.
I think so.
I think we need to watch that.
Not even for the show.
I think we just need to watch it, um, so that, honestly, I'm not in a position for America to fall like this week.
So we can't stop believing in it today.
Well, the thing with me is like, I don't, I don't respect the flag.
I don't respect America.
I think they're pretty crummy.
So maybe I need to watch this movie.
Yeah.
Maybe this movie has some information about the flag.
About the flag.
That I haven't heard before.
Maybe it'll change my mind.
Well apparently it's supposed to kind of save the earth, right?
It's supposed to save the world?
Well it's supposed to, yeah.
It had to be made?
It's supposed to be like the spark that ignites a fire.
You know, a cleansing fire.
Good, I need that.
I need that in my life right now.
Moving on.
So this is, this is a story.
I think Ani sent me this story.
So thank you, Ani.
A story that just, man, really brought back some memories from doing this show.
I'm just going to read here.
This is from the Tampa Bay Times.
Yikes!
Rory S. Woods, 55, is accused of releasing a swarm of bees on a group of sheriff's deputies, some of them allergic to bee stings, as they tried to serve an eviction notice, authorities said.
I don't think you should be allowed to be a cop and be allergic to bees.
I think that makes you way too vulnerable.
Yeah.
I mean, and you're just like... I mean, you're at the mercy of all these Antifa beekeepers.
You know, they're gonna... Now they know.
Now they know.
Now they know your worst fear.
I like this.
They rebooted Candyman, but they made it woke.
They put a female white woman in the lead role.
How do you how do you like that Tony, huh?
Not so good now, huh?
Yeah, it's kind of bit me in the ass.
Yeah, man, they Aunt Jemima'd his ass.
Not only that, but this woman's alive.
Not even a demon of sorts.
So we had a story like four years ago, maybe longer, about this is like... I mean, this would probably be a story nowadays, but It was just a story about a swarm of bees attacked a mosque.
Like, attacked a Muslim population outside of a mosque.
And the comments were just filled with, like, Republicans, like, the most baby fascist Republicans I'd ever seen.
And it was, like, one of my favorite comments, a comment that'll ring in my ears until I die, was, those were not Democrat bees!
They were Republican bees.
They were Republican bees because they knew to sting the buzz slumps.
Yeah, we know it is because we know it's a hate crime so we know where they're coming from.
We know where they're voting.
We know where they're voting come November.
I think somebody said like they were like, I saw a MAGA hat on one of those bees.
Yeah, remember they did the whole thing.
They were like, oh hopefully one of those bees had like bacon on it or something like that.
Yeah, it was a bacon, oh it was a bacon-wrapped bee.
How epic would that be?
Yeah, it would be so epic.
That's what's gonna happen with this is like, now that attacking cops you're gonna hear stories of like, youths taking the stingers off of bees and like, using blow darts.
They dusted the bees with fentanyl.
That's why the cops reacted so strongly.
Uh, so yeah, much like in that case where people were saying, yay, yay bees, go bee, I love the bees, bees are, are, are Republican bees.
Uh, much like in that, there were people arguing about whether this woman who let the bees free was a Democrat or a Republican.
Yeah.
John Shrieve says, I bet she's a Democrat.
And then Adrian R. Fletcher, totally different comment, unrelated, says, another MAGA Trumper.
And so it's just... What?
That one doesn't even make sense.
Well yeah, because MAGA Trumpers are the ones who beat up the Capitol Police, Tony.
Democrats are the ones who respect police, not the MAGA Trumpers.
I forget that that's a thing.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like with the troops, like with the vets, like with law and order, Democrats are trying to outlove the police.
Outlove the police to MAGA Trump Republicans.
Yeah, yeah.
It's the same thing with, oh, Herschel Walker had a fake badge?
Yeah, well, this candidate has a real one, and she's going straight to the Senate.
Yep.
Because she's a real hero, this Democrat cop.
She's made actual arrests and actually ruined lives.
And then Madeline Izguidero gets to the heart of the matter and says, You people have lost your minds.
She could be a Democrat, Republican, Independent, or Apolitical.
I don't give a fuck what she is.
All I know is that she deserves to be in prison.
Thank you.
Thank you for cutting through it and speaking to the human matter of things.
You really brought us all together there.
Left, right, black, white, can't we all agree that she should be homeless and in prison?
Yeah, she should probably be in prison.
There's more to this story.
Woods, who put on a beekeeper suit to protect herself, was eventually handcuffed, but not before several more Sheriff's Department employees were stung, including three who were allergic to bees.
The report said...
When Woods was told that several officers were allergic to bees, she said, Oh, you're allergic?
Good.
According to the report.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Oh, this will be much more effective.
No, I mean like this, if you're, if you're going to be like a cop and be allergic to bees, I hope you at least have the ibuprofen on you.
This shouldn't be that big of a deal.
Um, This is like, this is some cool, like, old school direct action shit.
Yeah, I love it.
You know, this is like using boiling water, pouring them on cops trying to, trying to evict people or...
Uh, bees.
I mean, like if you could, if you could somehow like wrangle some rodents or some, uh, some varmints or something.
I mean, I guess we do have to say like, you know, it sucks that like bees were, were endangered, you know?
So it sucks that like, uh, I guess this is also kind of animal abuse, but.
I mean, the thing, the thing about bees though, is that like, For the most part, it's kind of your fault if you get stung by a bee.
Like, if you're cool, if you're cool, you know, they don't instigate.
They just, they don't start shit, they just finish it.
So, every cop had the opportunity to not get bit, but you know they couldn't be chill.
What are you talking about, Tony?
There's one thing I know about cops, it's I know that they're, like, great at de-escalating situations.
Yeah, they probably tried to shoot at the bees.
Oh, well what I was going to say is, so they were saying that she shook up the beehives before opening them.
Let me read from the actual article here.
A Massachusetts woman is facing multiple assault and battery charges for, that's a little extreme I think, for allegedly releasing a swarm of bees on a group of sheriff's deputies, some of them allergic to bee stings, as they tried to serve an eviction notice, authorities said.
Rory S. Woods, 55, pleaded not guilty at her arraignment on October 12th in Springfield District Court and was released without bail, citing court records reported on Wednesday.
Her lawyer did not immediately respond to a voicemail left by the Associated Press on Wednesday.
The Hampton County Sheriff's Department deputies went to a home in Long Meadow on the morning of October 12th and were met by protesters, according to the official department report.
Woods, who lives in Hadley, soon arrived in an SUV towing a trailer carrying beehives.
The report said she started, quote, shaking the hives, broke the cover off of one, causing hundreds of bees to swarm out and initially sting one deputy, according to the report.
I'm going to stop right there.
So I don't, you know, you really have to like take this with a grain of salt.
Yeah.
This is all according to a police report, right?
This is all like, she didn't comment.
She didn't respond to comment.
And the photos that are here show like an officer holding the top of the beehive.
Yeah.
Are you looking at this, Tony, in the article?
Yeah.
Trying to like confiscate it.
And yeah, she's like wrestling him away.
Yeah, it looks like they probably were trying to, yeah, confiscate it and they don't know what they're doing, you know?
I don't- who knows what happened, but I- and yeah, because like... It doesn't look like...
I'm picturing, like, a villain, you know?
Shaking the bees and, like, laughing maniacally, you know?
But, yeah, this picture doesn't even... doesn't look that way.
She started, quote, shaking the hives, broke the cover off of one... Like, this sounds like cops were fighting with her.
It sounds like cops were fighting with her, and the hives got shaken in the process, and, uh, the cover got... Like, if she were a beekeeper, wouldn't she know how to, like, just open it?
And set the bees free?
She probably wouldn't want to break her hive.
I wouldn't think so.
But anyway, I'm glad it happened though.
I should say that.
I think it's funny that it happened.
Woods, who put on a beekeeper suit to protect herself, that's also really funny.
When you see the beekeeper suit go on, you should know to just leave.
Get out of the area.
It's the same thing as when you see someone put on, like, you know, the full body armor.
Like, you gotta bounce.
Yeah, or... Gatekeeper suit is exactly that.
You see a dude take off his shoes or something like that, you're like, alright, never mind.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, cool.
Alright, I get it.
My bad, my bad, my bad.
But yeah, why would she free the bees without having her suit already on?
It seems like the bees were freed and then she's like, alright, well you guys are fucked now.
I'm gonna get my suit on.
I have a suit.
When Woods was told that several officers were allergic to bees, she said, oh, you're allergic?
Good.
And then, yeah, the article's over.
Yeah, I haven't had a bee sting me in decades.
I'll be honest, I've never been stung by a bee, but I've like stepped on a bee.
Oh no, I've been stung by a bee.
Yeah, I got stung by a bee on a bike ride.
It got in my jersey and stung me.
So yeah, it's not great.
Not great.
Well I just mean like, I don't know, I've never...
I've never had a problem with bees.
Maybe it's because I don't try to evict people out of their houses.
The full story is... So she was arriving at a protest.
It wasn't her house.
This is like a wealthy area.
The home is like...
Reportedly worth 1.5 million dollars, but again like with how housing prices are that could be just like a normal fucking suburb at this point.
The guy who does live there owes like 1.4 million to the bank.
He wasn't a renter.
He was defaulting on a mortgage.
The bank repossessed his house, bought it up at the auction for pennies on the dollar, and are now still trying to get 1.4 million out of him or whatever.
I don't know the whole story, I just don't care about the bank.
I don't care about the bank losing money.
And I think you should be embarrassed if you're somebody trying to evict anybody on behalf of the bank.
I don't care who they are or how rich they are or what kind of house it is or what kind of neighborhood it is.
You should be ashamed of yourself for doing the bank spitting.
The bank can utilize the police to do their thing.
That tells you everything you need to know about America.
Uh, one comment, I don't know if I saved it, but one comment was like, yeah, this was a wealthy neighborhood and, uh, it shows just how entitled the wealthy feel to their homes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
Go ahead and keep that energy, you know, but I don't think you have that energy.
No, because he was saying, and it's like a shame what they put the poor workers through.
It's like, Oh, maybe you shouldn't do work on behalf of the bank, my man.
Yeah, no way.
What a float, a script flip.
I hate it.
Uh, so many good responses here.
Like, it was really funny how half the comments were like, this is awful.
Like those police officers could have died.
This woman needs to be hanged.
This is like the most serious story I've, I've ever seen in my life.
And then the other half of people were like, wow, this story is unbee-lievable.
Just nothing but puns in good times, just like wholesome, because it is.
It is like wholesome.
Yeah, it's pretty wholesome.
You know, it's good.
I love it.
It's what they would do, like, this is what they would do in a movie.
You know what I mean?
Go ahead, explain.
This would happen in a movie.
It's like, the cops are coming to mess with you again.
I'm going to shake the beehive up because it's your sweet, charming aunt who is making hooch.
And the cops come bug her and she's like, I'm going to let the bees out so they don't bother me.
I can get out the back.
They don't happen in real life and that's like funny.
They don't make movies like that anymore.
The movie that they would make... And it's a goddamn shame.
The movie that they would make now would be like an idiosyncratic possibly mentally ill man who sets bees on the cops and it's like funny but also he has to go to prison and like has to be told what he did was wrong.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
He's gonna have to like make amends with the cops and the bees in the same...
He's gonna have to do community service by evicting other poor people out of their houses.
Yeah, yeah.
With the bees.
Using the bees to evict people.
I liked this comment here from Newsmax.
Electric utility guy said, this sounds like a sting operation to me.
Sorry if someone already said that.
I'm glad you know.
I'm glad you know that that was a thing.
Good job, though.
I mean, it's worth it, you know?
Someone had to say it.
On Newsmax, there's this feature right above the comment section where you can just give an emotional react to the whole story itself.
And then they do a breakdown of all the reactions and what percentage people...
And it's like, "What do you think?" And the react that's like an emoji with hard eyes that says love is zero, unfortunately.
Zero, yeah.
The react that's crying, laughing, LOL, 33%.
Yeah.
33% thought this article was LOLs.
6% of readers thought that this article was WOAH!
Woah.
It's incredible.
Another 6% thought this article was shrug.
That's my favorite one.
I can't believe that 6% of people were like, they clicked saying whatever.
Like, come on.
I'd like to think of it as like, oh, it's like Drago.
Oh, if they die, they die.
Yeah.
Drago.
Ivan Drago.
Excuse me.
It's okay.
We knew.
Zero percent.
Now, this is the one that got me really mad.
Zero percent thought this story was sob.
The crying emoji.
Zero percent.
Not enough people.
Not enough people are crying about cops being stung by bees.
And it shows.
It's really sad.
It reflects in our society.
It does, it does.
56% though, the big one, a majority of respondents, 56% thought this story was grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Yeah, wow.
Bees and pigs hurt in one story.
The vegans must be pulling their hair out.
Those cops were just liberating the bees from their captor.
Gary Goodsell says, imaginative dot dot dot, but she needs to either pay the rent or find an overpass.
I hate you, Gary.
I hate you so much.
It's very funny, Gary, because if those are your alternatives, which, you know, society's kind of dictated like those are our alternatives.
Pay your rent or find an overpass to live underneath.
I think we're going to be seeing a lot more B's.
I think people are going to be taking the B option.
Option B. Plan B.
I mean, like, also, do you want her to set up her hives under an overpass?
That's not gonna get good, honey.
It's gonna be, you know, who knows what's gonna be.
Thierry Piette said, this can kill allergic people.
So, she's a terrorist.
I'm glad someone said it.
I don't like to abuse that word.
I think she knew.
I feel like that's what kind of implies that she must have known that there's a couple cops who are allergic to bees and that's why she chose this route.
I just thought she was a Woody Guthrie fan, but I misread what was written on the side of her beehives.
This machine kills allergic people.
Allergic is what it is, yeah.
I really liked this response.
Betz Reed says, Well, good on her.
I didn't read the article, but anyone releasing bees is a good thing.
Yeah.
You're right.
I love Betz for this.
Just a comment designed for nobody to like.
Like, I just, I want to know how they read all news.
I want to see, I want to see all their comments of just like, I don't, I mean, judging from this one part of the title, it's cool.
Run it.
Yeah.
Mom, mom throws toddler from a speeding car window on the freeway.
Yeah.
Well, I didn't read the story, but I'm good.
Babies do not belong in hot cars.
They do not.
They do not.
Yeah, I didn't read the whole story, but I'm really glad that Daredevil families are making a comeback.
I think that's cool.
I think we need more stunt people.
More stunt families.
Wow.
Wow.
And that's also why she did it.
She knew that, you know.
No bail.
Another blue city rewarding anti-cop behavior.
Wow.
Wow.
And that's also why she did it.
She knew that she knew that, you know.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Gonna go get my thumb, my fingerprints taken?
Who cares?
What city was this in again?
This is Massachusetts, I believe?
Yeah.
Mr. Massachusetts Governor, what do you have to say about your no-bail policy after a woman who released bees on deputies was set free and the very next day released more bees on deputies?
Those same bees.
How did she get the same bees?
The taxpayer somehow did it.
The taxpayer was forced to give her back the same bees.
Terry Weber Jr.
said, when Woods was told that several officers were allergic to bees, she said, oh, you're allergic?
Good.
According to the report, this right here is when deadly force would have been applied to stop this idiot.
What?
Yeah.
Like, how does that work?
You kill her, Tony.
That's how you stop the bees from stinging.
You need deadly force to stop the bees.
Well, no.
I think she's saying you actually have to, like, have the gun drawn and say, like, hey, some of these officers are allergic.
And then you wait for their answer.
And then once she answers wrong, that's when you have to kill her.
It's just... Because that's the point.
Like, well, now that I know that you knew that... Now that I know that you're okay with allergic people here, Because she could have easily been like, oh, no, I thought you guys were going to send the non-allergic force.
I thought that you guys had the task team of non-allergic, you know, yeah, that would be the sting squad, right?
Right.
The ones who can take it.
Right.
Finding out that her opinion about cops, like finding out that later, uh, you would have to kill her.
That's just like the logical arguments.
Then you, now you have to kill her.
Uh, it's got nothing to do with like your like pet, petulant rage issues and like feeling spited or having, uh, being insulted or something like that.
No, it's, it's just the logical thing to do.
You stop the threat.
Well, the thing that was like, you can be diagnosed like a psychotic sociopath.
And you can't cure that.
And I think they need to be removed from the streets.
That's a one question, one answer diagnosis to me.
Steve Jones says, I wish they shot her because she used deadly weapons.
Cool.
Cool.
Like, come on.
I'm really surprised they didn't, like, add in there, these Africanized killer bees?
Yeah.
Africanized killer bees?
One joke that people were making, the gun rights folks found their ways in here and they were like, oh these were deadly assault bees!
Better make a law banning bees!
Yep!
Uh oh!
Pretty sure there are laws regulating how you can care for and...
Cultivate beehives.
They absolutely are.
Like we've talked, I've mentioned before, like the the beehive game is wild.
It's a, it's a cutthroat business and it is all because of like licensing and stuff and the regulations.
These were ghost bees.
They didn't have serial numbers on them.
Oh hey, filed them off individually.
I don't have any bees.
I lost all my bees in a boating accident.
ATF?
What are you talking about?
Yeah, they're all gone now.
Yeah, you know bees.
I don't know they can't go over water.
I don't know like Dude, we were out kayaking and there was a bee that was like in the middle of the lake, like drowned, you know, couldn't like get up.
And so we kept like fishing it out of the water and putting it on our kayak and it kept jumping right back into the water.
And we were like, chill, chill.
Just like, you don't have to fly away immediately.
Just like dry off.
We did it like three or four times and it kept jumping back in the water.
And we were like, fuck, we just have to let this bee drown now.
That sucks.
Yeah, this is not on me.
You made your choice.
Yeah, I've done that.
I did that at the pool recently.
It would crawl back so far.
And I was like, what are you doing?
And I even brought water to where it was.
And it still came back and we just had to say, well, I don't know, gotta surrender this one.
Like, who am I to get in the way of, like, this bee's life choices?
Right.
Yeah.
Debbie Bedau Linton said, What in the world is wrong with people?
We are in the days of Noah!
Oh, that's true.
You know, the plague of... That's Noah.
What?
That's Noah...
Noah was the flood guy.
What?
Noah was the flood guy.
I think leading up to the flood is everybody was behaving really badly and setting... Oh yeah.
They were setting bees on local law enforcement and God was like, I cannot allow this to go on.
Genocide.
Genocide for everybody.
Okay, get some animals.
Get them on the... Maybe, maybe, maybe leave the bees.
They're not great at swimming.
We will be fine.
They're just going to hold us back.
Yeah, no, I think leading up to the days of Noah, it was more like, uh, rape was like, like rape and incest and like abuse and sexual deviancy and all of that is what got, what made God real mad and did.
Well, you find me a consensual beasting.
Yeah, that's true.
I think that, I think that, I think there's a cosmetic thing that people do.
Yeah.
I saw it on King of the Hill, man.
Yeah, see?
Last one here.
Elvira Jefferson Clague says, This was so awful to do to someone.
As a young child playing under the tractor, a bee's nest fell on my head, got hung up in my hair.
They are stinging me in my head and hands, trying to pull them out.
My parents took me to the doctor and there was nothing funny about it.
Like, thank God she wasn't one of these cops.
That would have really been bad.
That would have really been... Yeah.
...triggering, you know?
Listen, I would never wish this upon you, Elvira.
I'm sorry it happened, but it did happen, and it's kind of funny.
It's kind of funny to have, like, a bunch of bees biting your bottom, you know?
Like, swarming around you, and you're swatting them away.
You're making funny motions with your arms.
You're probably, like, loud.
You're going, like, Also, you're not telling the whole story.
Like, a beehive has never randomly fallen on a kid.
It's probably a wasp nest.
It's probably more likely.
It's also still never randomly fallen on a kid.
Like, the kids were fucking with it.
You know?
What is this?
Dennis the Menace?
You had a trap set up for you where you walked under a beehive that fell after you, like, tripped a wire?
Yeah.
A lot of people, you know, I think...
There were a lot of people sympathizing with an imagined landlord in this story.
A lot of people thought this was funny.
I don't want to gloss over that.
That's the good takeaway from this story is that a lot of people were like, yay bees!
You are my hero, bees!
In a good way.
Then a lot of people were like, we should kill this woman.
Can we still kill her?
Like I got a gun.
Is it an option?
I think we should kill her by bees.
And then other people were like, you know, this is so sad.
You should always pay your rent.
Like, and so there were people who were like, you know, calling her, you know, assuming that she was the one getting kicked out of the house or whatever.
Assuming there was some poor mom and pop landlord who owned this $1.5 million home, renting it out to a single woman.
They were getting stiffed.
They were getting stuck with all the bills and stuff.
As small as that contingent was, I feel like it would be even smaller if you were like, no, this is the bank who owned the house.
Are that many people going to go on record crying over a bank losing out on one of the, I don't know, 10,000 fucking homes they own?
I hope not, but you know, there would be like, gotta read the fine print, you know, like those comments in there, you know, like you sign up for this.
Yeah.
I feel like stories like this are deliberately vague about who actually owns the home and the situation because they know it would be less sympathetic to the police if absolutely.
Yeah.
If they, they knew that they were doing literally the banks bidding, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause that's, that's scary.
That's a scary thing that is real.
Yeah, okay.
Our final story today that I wanted to talk about, or our final topic, conservative political cartoons.
Now, this is something that we haven't talked about in a while.
I've joined a couple of Facebook groups in the last few weeks devoted just to conservative political cartoons.
They've all been wonderful.
They've all been very funny and very naturalistically written, like the way people would normally talk and conduct themselves in public.
One guy stands out above the rest, and this is Terry C. Wise, who runs Ratland Inc.
It's a Facebook page, you can find him there.
And these are sort of like, you know, fairly competently drawn characters.
It looks like a classic sort of Cartoon you would see in the newspaper, you know, like the old lady drinking her coffee.
The crabby old lady who's, you know, kind of a bitch and proud of it.
She's on greeting cards?
She's on greeting cards.
Kind of like that style of artwork here.
But catered specifically to like a Facebook boomer demographic.
I wanted to lead up to What we get when a cartoonist actually like comes out and and changes the format and switches it up and maybe goes outside their comfort zone and creates something truly truly masterful.
But before we get to that I wanted to just you know pitch some down the middle just what the normal bread and butter for Terry C Wise is.
We have two ladies, they're getting lunch maybe?
There's like a tablecloth.
I'm gonna assume brunch.
Brunch, yeah.
I'm gonna say brunch.
It's two ladies, I mean.
Yeah.
Come on, why would you draw them if they're not at brunch?
Lady on the left says, I don't know what to do, dot dot dot.
Little Elmer Jr.
is so out of control.
I think he needs to be medicated.
And then the other woman says, let me show you what we medicate with.
Ever seen one of these?
Uh, and she's holding a paddle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The little medication.
Do you ever try beating him up?
Do you ever try hitting Little Elmer Jr.?
It's pretty, it's cool cause you can, if you phrase it that way, you can publicly, you can say like, do we need to up your dose today?
Uh, Little Elmer Jr., uh, we've talked about you pronouncing words that way.
Uh, you, you, you taught Utah a putty tat, what?
Do I need to get the medication out again?
Do I need to... Do we need a dose?
Do we need your dose of medication?
I mean, we can do it.
It's no problem.
I keep that thing on me.
You're hunting wabbits?
Oh.
Oh, Elmer Jr.
Yeah, so just hit your kid.
I've never met an Elmer in my entire life.
I love, I love, yeah, Elmer Jr.
So he's like, he's like, okay, well, Elmer, sure, that's the name of a bygone generation.
But Elmer Jr., that would be the next generation.
That would be them naming their kids after themselves.
So it still works.
These women are in their 60s in this cartoon, just for the record.
Okay, now we have a woman and a man, once again, talking to each other at a restaurant of some kind.
There's like a tablecloth and nice chairs and there's like a basket of bread and a napkin in the center.
When you're like 80 years old, I guess this is your idea of activity, going to a restaurant.
I like that he has like a seemingly a drink and a shot.
No, no, no, that's, that's not a drink.
Um, let me, let me read this.
Okay.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Wow.
So the woman, the woman says to the man, wow, your wife's in an asylum.
Dot, dot, dot.
Your elderly dad ran off with a 16 year old punk rocker.
Dot, dot, dot.
Your 10th grade daughter is pregnant by her gym teacher.
Dot, dot, dot.
And you're a bisexual alcoholic.
What are you going to do?
Uh, and then he says, first, I'm going to put it all on Facebook and Twitter.
I mean, yeah.
So, so this guy's, this guy's daughter got raped by her gym teacher.
His dad, his dad is raping a 16 year old punk rocker.
I love the addition of the punk rocker as if that's part of the problem.
Yeah, that's totally part of the problem.
Ben's contributing to it.
The main problems here are that the 16-year-old his dad is hooking up with is a punk rocker, and the fact that he's going to post it on Facebook.
Those are the main societal issues, is that this alcoholic bisexual... I love alcoholic bisexual.
Bisexual alcoholic.
Man.
Yeah.
So good.
I stopped drinking, but I might pick it up again just for that.
Yeah, see, I didn't want to talk.
It kind of, you know, hits a little.
It's a little close.
What are you going to do?
Well, first of all, TikTok, baby.
I love that.
Yeah, I love it too.
Dude, your cartoons only appear on Facebook.
Yeah, that's the only place they're at.
You are literally in the genre of Facebook cartoon, man.
So very cool.
God.
Again, these people are in their 60s in this picture.
Um, this one is very simple.
Uh, it's a, it's a guy in a trench coat with his back, with his back to us.
And he's spreading the trench coat open to like somebody there's no audience or anything.
He's just showing it to somebody who's, I guess, off, off screen.
Uh, and then underneath it says modern politics.
Dang.
Whoa.
I, I, I really don't know what he's saying.
I have no idea.
I love it.
I just have no clue what he's going for.
I don't either.
Like the only thing you could say is, Oh, he's talking about that one Congress man that like released his own sex tape.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But this cartoon came out before that.
I'm pretty sure.
Like, I don't.
Is this like an Anthony Weiner joke?
Yeah, that's what it is.
You know?
The only reason I would say it might not be an Anthony Wiener joke is because he didn't put Anthony Wiener's name on the back of this guy's church coat.
Like, I thought, maybe if he was, like, mooning them?
If, like, it's like, oh, you show your whole ass, you know?
Like, that would make some sense.
But, like, this is someone doing, like, full frontal.
Yeah.
Um, and is that?
Oh, that's just a buckle.
Like, I thought maybe something was in their hand.
Looks like maybe a cigarette?
No, it's their pinky.
Why is their pinky a different color?
I have no idea.
It's the way the light's hitting it.
Wow, such good use of shadow.
I have no idea why that pinky's there.
All the shadows are fucked.
This whole thing's fucked.
Uh... Yeah, okay.
We got a few more here that are just... are pretty good.
Uh... Okay, we got a teen talking to his grandpa who says, uh... So, Gramps, I set your new phone up with all the social media.
Everyone is accepted there, be they left, right, straight, gay, foreign, old, or... you name it.
But then, behind both of them is a little man named Jesus saying, well... Wow, get it?
Like, do you get it because Jesus isn't accepted on the internet?
I love this so much because like...
There are 7 million Facebook posts that's just an image, a pixelated image of Jesus with 2 million likes on each one of them.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
If you were to like measure the content of Facebook it would be over 50% Christianity.
People still do like a one like one prayer type post.
It still happens.
And also you're posting Jesus right now on the internet.
Yeah, well this cartoon only got 12 likes, man.
You call that accepted?
Wow, maybe it is end times.
I mean, I guess Jesus only did have 12 likes at one point.
Whoa, shit.
Dang.
You just fucked me up right now.
I liked this one too this one's very weird I feel like this one is like such an odd insight into the conservative mind but there's like a man working at his at his home office I guess or maybe it's it's an office office but there's a desk a nice chair a file cabinet he's got his laptop open and he's got a red cup in his hand And he's making a disgusted face, and he says, Ack!
Earl!
This isn't a smoothie!
It's nothing but pure ketchup!
And then, uh, his son, Earl, who's like eight years old, an eight-year-old little toe-headed boy with glasses, uh, says, So... you stickin' with that stupid theory that tomatoes are fruit?
I fucked you up, dad!
You fucking asshole!
I've been telling you it's not fruit.
And then your dumbass got this entire full-ass cup of ketchup with the bendy straw on it, looked at it... How did you even get it up the straw?
Down the hatch!
You know it was warm.
I love that this somehow invalidates the theory that tomato is a fruit.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, because you only want fruits in your smoothies, I guess?
Yeah, there's nothing I like better than pure lemon.
Just drinking pure lemon.
I think maybe this would have worked.
Yeah, exactly.
This might have maybe worked if it was like you made a peanut butter and ketchup sandwich.
That might have worked a little better.
Yeah, I don't know, it's just funny, like, the conservative mind is like, scientists are like, oh yeah, technically the classifications we use to describe fruit also apply to a tomato, and it's most commonly related to these other foods, and the conservative mind is like, no, but they taste different.
Yeah, because like the definition of fruit has nothing to do with flavor.
It has nothing, there's no flavor aspect of it.
All that matters to me is can I blend it up and serve it in a trough-like bucket for myself to slurp.
If it's not like that, then what are you giving it to me?
What is that?
You're going to tell me that that smoothie's not soup, dad?
No, it's still fucking ketchup.
What are you talking about?
Okay.
And just to show that like, he's also got his own agenda.
He's not just poo pooing on other people's, uh, ideologies or whether or not they think tomatoes are a fruit or whatever.
He's also like doing, you know, he also cares about stuff.
And so we have a husband and wife, you know, standing in the living room, uh, in front of the TV and the husband says another record number of soldiers committing suicide.
Don't they know folks like me care about them?
And then the wife says, Harold, honey, if I didn't know, how would they?
Whoa.
And then underneath it says, you can help dot, dot, dot, go to prevent suicide dot army dot M I L.
By this logic, are you supposed to just, even at bare minimum, say a prayer for every single veteran?
Like individually?
How else are they going to know, Tony?
That's true.
Listen, sweetie, you haven't talked about the vets being sad in a long time.
How are they supposed to know if I don't?
I, okay, I think I barely got this joke while I was reading it out loud.
Okay?
Because I thought it was like what you just said this whole time.
It was like, she's like, if I didn't know, I see you every day and you never talk about the troops.
Oh my God.
She's saying he hates his wife.
She's saying he never tells her not to commit suicide.
You don't even tell me.
Like, if you don't tell that from me, you're definitely not telling it from her.
Oh, wow.
I didn't realize.
Yep.
That's.
Yeah, I thought she was like a sweetheart.
I mean, she is a sweetheart, I think.
But I thought they were, like, cool.
But no, I think that's exactly what he's saying.
He's saying, like, you don't even tell your wife.
This is the best I hate my wife cartoon I've ever seen.
This is, like, better than all the rest.
Because it's, you treat me like I'm a veteran, you want to commit suicide.
Yeah, and not only do you hate your wife, but you also hate the vets.
Hey, veterans probably wouldn't kill themselves if you would love your wife more.
Oh man, you ever on the street and you get the old ball and chain asking you for change?
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, come on.
Yeah, that's amazing, because yeah, I totally miss it too.
I love the generic animal in the back.
I don't know if that's a cat or a dog.
Yeah, so take these veterans, for instance.
No, take them, please.
Take them.
Sweet release of death.
All of them.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
Finally, the last cartoon before we get to his genre-bending post that I want to talk about from Terry C. Wise.
We have an artist in the park who is selling signs about how much we hate capitalists. $10.
Fuck.
Fuck.
And it is funny because that, the sign about how much we hate capitalists, $10 sign, does seem to be the sign that he's selling.
Yeah, I think so, because there's nothing else on display.
It's just a stack of yellow paper that's the exact same color of the signs about How Much We Hate Capitalists $10 sign, which is itself displayed on an easel next to him.
Yeah, I also love how nice this table he brought outside to sell posters on is.
It's like a desk.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Simple mid-century modern.
Owned.
Owned, though.
Like, this is... You know, what's that guy's name?
The guy who always dresses in drag?
Steven Crowder?
Yeah, this is like a Steven Crowder.
This is like a thing that Steven Crowder would do.
Like a right-wing art stunt.
We want to buy this sign about how much I hate capitalists and it's just a sign that says, I hate capitalists $10.
But you charge like $100 for it.
But it's also like this guy's not a capitalist.
He like made his own sign.
Where's this?
He doesn't, I don't see any employees.
I don't see him stealing labor from anybody.
No, if you hate capitalism so much, then what do you need $10 for?
Yeah, that's true.
Why can't I pay you in acorns, bro?
Man, this is... I'm like still trying to wrap my mind around this inception level sign.
Signs about how much we hate capitalists.
$10.
$10?
That's the sign.
Right, I follow this guy for comics.
Follow this guy for incisive, witty, pretty cheeky, conservative humor.
And yet, I saw a text-based post that Ratland Inc.
had done, and I was like, alright, I'll bite.
I'll try, I guess.
We'll see.
So I started reading, and I'll just read it out loud to everybody.
a quote yes or quote no answer for question one then answer the others if you answer quote yes one if you one you believe a woman should be able to do what she wants with her body yes and then little underscore lines no little underscore lines if you answered quote yes please continue All right, let's go.
I'm feeling pretty confident here.
You know, so it's a test.
It's a yes or no series of questions.
I do believe a woman should get to do what she wants with her own body.
So I'm going to check scratch yes here.
Check yes.
Now, since I answered yes, I will continue.
Number two.
Prostitution should be legal.
Yes or no?
Oh no.
Here we go.
Oh, this is getting more complicated than I thought.
I thought this was just about the right to kill babies.
Ratland is a swerve.
Yeah, yeah.
Dabbling in sex worker territory.
How about, I believe it should not be illegal.
How about that?
How about that?
It should be decriminalized.
There you go.
A little addendum.
Assisted suicide for women should be legal.
Yes, underscore.
No, underscore.
No, I think it should only be available for men.
I think only men should be allowed to commit suicide.
Which is how it's phrased.
That's how it is in real life.
Right now, only men can do it.
Four.
Domestic charges should not be brought if a woman chooses to stay with her abuser.
Yes, underscore.
No, underscore.
What?
See, this is where the genius shines.
When you get more than just a few sentences in a political cartoon, you really get to see the master at work.
You really get to see what's going on up there.
And yeah, we have Obviously this is like a test to like show your hypocrisy or to like prove a point about giving a woman control over her own body and one of the gotcha questions is domestic charges should not be brought if a woman chooses to stay with her abuser.
That makes me think now because I here I was thinking they should do whatever they want but if that's gonna now I'm now I'm in a quarry.
Like, who is charging domestic abuses?
It's the woman, right?
Like, the state doesn't file a domestic abuse charge against... You have to press the charges.
Yeah, that's like one of the things is, like, so often, you know, they'll come and say, hey, is everything okay?
And they just say, yeah, we're fine.
I don't want to press any charges.
Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.
I still need a place to live.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So this is like he's got some like weird hang-up or he's got some weird fixation on this idea that women are charging their partner with domestic abuse and still living in the house?
Like that's a problem in society?
That they're... They're doing both?
Yeah, what the fuck is this?
I have no idea.
Did this happen to this guy?
Did he hit his wife and then his wife filed charges against him but also would not move out of the house?
No, luckily this guy doesn't have anyone to abuse but is still a gentleman and that is the line.
He would not stand for this.
No sane person would stand for this.
Yeah, if you're gonna charge me with abuse, you should have the decency to find somewhere else to live.
Yeah, yeah.
Amazing.
Number five, a woman should be able to drink sugary drinks over 16 ounces in New York.
Yes or no, Tony?
Maybe you should have, like, Done that one before the abuse thing.
Maybe you should have, like, gradually gone up.
That was kind of a weird jump back.
Yeah, it's kind of lackluster after the fact.
And that's because there's no, no one can have them, right?
That's the whole thing in New York.
Like, no one can have a 16 ounce, a 17 ounce sugary beverage.
You can't do what you want with your body.
I think it's like 24 ounce.
I don't remember.
I don't know.
That's weird.
It's just weird that so many people we, like, respect for their political views choose to live in a place where, like, there's so much, like, tyranny.
Yeah, so much policing of women's bodies in New York because of the 16-ounce thing.
Disgusting.
Six.
A woman should be allowed to use any drug, parentheses, meth, crack, cocaine, etc.
she wishes.
Yes or no, Tony?
Yeah, yeah.
Go ahead.
Alright, alright.
You passed this one.
You can still get an abortion.
Abortions can still be legal now.
Seven.
Female athletes should be able to take performance-enhancing drugs.
Yes or no?
I think everyone should be able to take performance enhancing drugs.
I think that the home run era was a good time.
Okay, I'm trying to catch you up in hypocrisy.
It's not working.
I feel like we're not talking about the same... I feel like you're defining performance enhancing drugs in a weird way and I don't think I like it.
Eight.
Women educators should be able to have sex with minors.
Yes or no?
Oh no!
Yes or no, Tony?
I'm conflicted!
You said women should be able to get to do what they want with their body and have an abortion Well, this is what it leads to Tony now.
You have to let women fuck kids It did say educators, maybe they meant like college?
No, no, even though, no!
Damn it!
He said minors.
He explicitly says minors.
Minors, yeah.
Yeah, wow.
I love, oh, did you delete it?
I think I did.
Yeah, I'll delete it.
Sorry about that.
Press control Z, or Apple Z. I didn't realize I had a control on that like that, but I did, my bad.
That's right.
I love that so much.
It's like, it's the fucking Greta.
It's the Greta Thunberg thing.
It's what it is.
It's like, I'm not allowed to have sex with this girl.
She should have zero politicals.
She shouldn't be allowed to talk.
She should have zero political say like, Oh, you think women should be able to do whatever they want.
What about having sex with kids?
What about that?
Have you thought about that?
Why does it always come back to sex with kids?
Cuz people are fucked man people are so fucked cuz again like they just know like oh, yeah Well, they shouldn't be able to do this, right?
It's like no one's no one's advocating for that man.
Like what are you talking about?
Well, it's just the logical outgrowth if a woman has control of her body.
Well, what if she does something sick with her body Tony?
What if she?
I do what I want Okay, you think a woman should be able to do whatever you want with her body?
Okay, number eight.
A woman should be able to surgically alter her body, spreading the tissue apart and using metal rivets to nail in some sort of contraption that tortures her at intervals throughout the day while she menaces human beings with a puzzle box.
Have you thought about that?
Yes or no, Tony?
Oh, I don't know, hold on, does this woman also have like a whole like, have a crew with her?
Oh yeah.
Of like also people being like perpetually tortured?
She got a bad squad, yeah.
Oh shit, shit.
Are there like random autonomous chains that kind of come out of nowhere that can maybe just like hook you?
Is that, do they also have that?
Because once they have that, I'm out.
They can't do that.
Women should be able to use phantasmagoric chains to hook your flesh and suspend you from the ceiling.
Yes or no, Tony?
Oh, shit.
No, I think that's cheating.
That's not fair.
I always thought that was not fair.
Okay, no, but really, okay.
Number nine.
Women should be allowed public nudity.
Yes.
Well, I mean... No.
Well, I mean... Who am I?
Who am I to deny them of such, you know, privileges?
I love the idea that like... As long as you tell them where it's going to be, you know?
You're trying to catch a pro-choice advocate in hypocrisy and you're like, do you really think women should be able to do anything?
What about not wearing a shirt in public?
Yeah.
Like, that's like the other thing.
That's the other thing that people who are pro-choice believe in, bro.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Do you believe, oh, you think women should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies, huh?
What about drive a Subaru?
Have you thought about that?
What if they have all-wheel drive?
Think about that.
No, what it is, is that pro-choice people, like, hate babies so much, they also hate breastfeeding.
So they're like, you can't, they don't want that.
Oh, you think women should be able to do whatever they want with their body.
Women should be allowed to grow their armpit hair out.
Yes or no?
Oh, ooh, I didn't, dang it.
I mean, I'm only going to say no because I just get crazy horny around it.
So that's why I'm going to say no.
Couple that with, yeah, public nudity where you're bound to see the armpit hair.
Oh no.
Forget about it.
Who knows what other kind of hairs they might have.
Okay, finally, number 10.
This is the final checklist to see if you're a hypocrite about being pro-choice.
I don't know if I'm ready for this.
I don't know if I'm ready for this.
We've been building.
This is probably too risque.
It's probably too fucked up.
Number 10.
Oh man.
Women should be allowed to smoke in public.
Yes or no?
No!
If I were to see a topless hairy armpit woman smoking in public... No!
Can't do that!
No!
We're in France now!
What happened to society?
It's gone!
It's gone!
He really should not have numbered this list and definitely should have maybe reviewed it once.
I love the idea you're like a psycho who thinks abortion is killing babies and you're like, yeah well maybe to put this in terms that you would understand, what if a woman smoked outdoors?
Yeah.
That's not even, you know abortion is not even secondhand right?
That's first hand.
This guy is so old, this guy is like 200 years old!
That's amazing.
The escalations, somehow to them...
I like this.
I think this is good.
If I were to choose for my friends, if they had to keep one thing, I wish they would leave smoking behind and they can continue doing sex work.
But maybe you don't need to smoke.
I know we like doing it and sometimes it makes us feel good, but it's not good for us, let's be honest.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, and I think that's probably what he was trying to get across with this yes or no.
I think so.
Yes or no questionnaire.
This was again Terry C Wise at Ratland Inc on Facebook.
So check it out.
Check out his artwork.
Become a patron of the arts and like and subscribe to Ratland Inc.
All in one.
Amazing.
Ratland.
Amazing.
That's the episode.
You can also be a patron of the arts by supporting us at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult, P-A-T-R-E-O-N, .com slash MinionDeathCult, where for only $3.11 a month, you will help us do this show, help us pay our bills, and get a bonus episode every single week, full format, regular episode, but only for supporters on Patreon.
We had a fun, intense episode last week when we had to deal with liberals demanding better service from Instacart shoppers using inclusive language, weaponizing inclusive language and invoking marginalized people to demand that underpaid wage slaves need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get my fucking food from the grocery store.
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I had some feelings about that myself.
So yeah, you can hear them on that episode by going to patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
Subscribing there and you get those bonus episodes delivered straight to your podcast app or browser.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
That's a good episode.
That was fun.
That was a fun episode.
It was.
I'm still feeling the fallout of that episode on Twitter.
Amazing.
This week, I think we might do To Die For.
I think we might watch To Die For for patrons this week, and I'm really excited to see it.
I'm really excited to find out how long I can stare at a green screen at different angles without losing my mind.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to have to re-up on some weed before I watch that one, but I'm excited for it.
Using context clues, it might cost us $19 to watch that movie, so we can use all the support we can get on Patreon.
And write to us at minideathcult at gmail.com.
I am at FLELD on Twitter, F-L-I-E-L-D-Y.
Tony is at word is bond on Twitter.
I'm shipping out hats.
I'm shipping out people who just ordered hats.
I'm getting those in the mail this week.
I'm on vacation this week.
So I'm only doing work for the show.
So it's like a break for me.
And I'm shipping out people who just ordered a hat and stickers.
The shirts are going to be another couple weeks to get made because they are a four-sided shirt, which is a very labor-intensive process.
So you're going to have to give us some time on that.
If you ordered a hat and a shirt, those will go out in about two weeks.
Yes, very pumped on that hat.
The hat looks so good.
The hat's here.
The hat's coming.
I'm very excited about the hat and I'm going to hold off on being excited about this shirt.
I'm going to be patient.
You can only be so excited.
You want to divvy that up.
Spread that out.
Exactly.
Did you hear that by chance?
What?
Did you hear the breaking glass?
No.
Yeah, good timing.
There was breaking glass like 10 seconds ago, so good timing.
Alright, well I think Tony's gotta go, so we'll say bye.
Peace.
Bye.
Do us both a favor and take the new road in and out of town from now on.
It hurts me as much as it does you.
Somehow I doubt that, ma'am.
I'm going to file the restraining order for the school.
Against me.
Crazy old man.
It is with great displeasure and embarrassment that I find in favor of the plaintiff.
In this case, Ms.
Quinn.
You're going to jail, Quentin.
No kidding.
Somebody ought to put you down.
Put you out of my misery.
I'll call the cops.
Get them in jail.
Actually, I'm not planning on being around that long.
I have a right to take a knee.
No freedom of speech.
You don't have a right to no squat.
You gave that up the second your knee hit the grass.
Why don't you just leave the country?
I hate it so damn much.
Would it surprise you to know that I fought for your flag?
Yes, it would.
Very much.
Remind me why we did this again?
Not even Afghanistan makes it any less your flag.
Doesn't it?
I was willing to sacrifice my life for your right to take a knee.
