This week, we celebrate 400 episodes of Minion Death Cult by altering the course of world history The Queen is dead, and honestly, I'm quite glad she didnt live to see the way the lower classes are treating her memory. Buy the hat and shirt and stickers at http://miniondeathcult.com Get 20% off your order when you support the show for only $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult, where you'll receive instant access to our entire bonus catelogue including Buttfest 2000, The Anarchists, and hundreds of other episodes--right in your podcast app or browser Music: The Proclaimers - Cap in Hand
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when people go to school in the desert.
Follow their environment, Houston.
Stay tuned.
Alright, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
We're Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
The lower classes' responses to the death of a queen, really, is responsible.
We're documenting it.
What's up, everybody?
It is the 400th episode of Minion Death Cult.
This is our 400th episode extravaganza, which is just a normal episode.
I mean, it's a normal episode that we're going to record, but the things we had to put into motion for the content, just years in the making.
But, you know, it worked out.
It worked out just for this.
Right.
Okay.
We did decide to do something special for the 400th episode.
Before I get to that, I just want to say briefly up top, we have new merch as well.
We have Uh, for sale, the first shirt we've sold in like three years, I think.
We have a- The first shirt?
Yeah, when did we- The first shirt- Oh, no, sorry.
We are- Okay.
Yeah, we had the Bart- I was like, we did the Bart- Yeah, okay.
Sure, that shirt's super sick.
All right, take two.
Okay.
All right.
The first of its kind, though.
It's the first shirt of its kind, period.
So, I'll give you that.
You don't have to vamp.
I'm going to cut it out anyway.
But I appreciate it.
I appreciate the effort.
We have a new shirt.
It's good.
It's a good shirt.
Uh, we'll, we'll, we'll talk about it more at the end of the episode.
We have a new long sleeve shirt just in time for fall.
Uh, and we also have a hat.
We have a, a, a real tree camo hat.
Available now.
Go to MinionDeathCult.com to check those out.
We'll remind you again at the end of the episode.
And if you're a Patreon supporter, you will get 20% off all merchandise.
Wow.
Pretty good deal.
Why don't you sign up?
You can listen to the entire Anarchist miniseries available there, plus hundreds of other bonus episodes.
Only $3.11 a month.
And if you buy a shirt and a hat, that's going to pay for itself, baby.
That discount.
Yeah, that sounds probably less than 20% of any price that a shirt or hat would go for.
If you really want to hustle us, if you really want to show it to us, I would sign up now and then buy the shirt.
That's what I would do.
It would own us pretty hard.
I mean, that's just me.
Yeah, that would really stick it to us.
Yeah, don't do it, you better not, you know.
We're trying to get these suckers, you, the listener, to pay full price for the merchandise.
So whatever you do, do not support us at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
Just out of respect for the longtime Patreons, you know, like, they're the real ones.
You don't deserve it.
Don't do that.
If any, buy the shirt, then sign up, okay?
Thank you.
I'm gonna trust you on that.
Yeah.
More on that later.
This is, like I said, our 400th episode.
We thought we'd do something special and maybe a little crazy.
Something maybe you've read about in the news.
Maybe you've seen your local McDonald's American flag at half-mast.
Maybe you've seen that Kia Soul with the life-like Queen of England sticker, like she's riding in the passenger seat.
Maybe you've seen that car driving a little slower this week.
Oh, wow.
With its hazards on.
That's right.
We did a thing.
We did a thing leading up to this episode.
You know, it all started Last week I was at Safeway and I noticed that Salsa Verde Doritos were back on the shelf.
And I have not seen these in years.
And not only were they back on the shelf, they were $3 for $2 each for the big size bag.
And so I thought, wow, these are a good chip, but what would be so funny is if I were to slip a Salsa Verde Dorito into the Queen's Tea.
Into the Queen's Afternoon Tea, disguised as a crumpet or something.
And then she died because she ate it.
It worked.
It worked like a charm.
And you know what?
We don't... The world doesn't need to thank us.
Just sign up for the Patreon.
I thought maybe she would... I thought it would be a cheeky little prank.
It did end up killing her.
Now we have a king, I guess, in England.
We have a king in America too, apparently.
Judging by every flagpole in the nation.
Yeah which is so I mean I I guess but like that's it's it's interesting response um but I'm happy I'm happy people noticed that we did it so that's cool usually we do things and it goes unnoticed and I think people really took note this time that's really great.
I mean, I do things just for me, just for you, Tony.
This one, a lot of people happened to like it.
A lot of people responded pretty strongly to it.
A lot of people weren't happy with it, though.
And, you know, you're trying to get your... trying to wrap your head around, like, you know, you're an American.
Like, why do you give a fuck what they're doing over there?
Like, why do you care who's alive over there, first of all, you know?
Yeah.
But then I thought, oh, well, wow, so they had a queen over there in England, and now that she's died, they are literally, like, handing the crown back over to the patriarchy, with Charles the whatever becoming the king.
So I understand it.
Yeah, it's a step backwards, some might say.
It is a step.
Like, they had a literal Yass Queen In charge of things.
The biggest boss, the biggest girl boss possible.
And now just a dude gets to come in and run things.
And not like just a dude, a dude who's like so toxic in his misogyny that he decided to like turn all of his fingers into penises.
And I think that's like, that's, that's so blatant and disgusting, but you know, we're just going to have to live with that.
It's gross.
It is gross.
It's gross.
How, how much they look like a normal penis, like my penis, each one of those bloated fingers looks exactly like my penis.
Mine's more like the thumb, but yeah, it's, it's same effect.
Yeah.
Um, Yeah, so, uh, a lot of people didn't, you know, a lot of people reacted negatively to our little Jape here, but apparently some people didn't mind the Queen.
Apparently, it turns out not everybody liked the Queen of England, Tony.
Yeah, I mean, turns out she had some haters.
Who'd have thought about that?
But I guess, you know what they say, if you don't have haters, you're just not doing it right.
So apparently she was doing it really, really well.
Yeah, you know, one of the biggest haters is Uju Anya, who is a Professor at Carnegie Mellon University.
Probably a prestigious place, never heard of it.
But judging by how many monocles were shattered and how many pearls were clutched, this was probably a pretty Pretty classy place, uh, that Professor Anya decided to disrespect when she tweeted out, I heard the chief monarch of a thieving, raping, genocidal empire is finally dying.
May her pain be excruciating.
Yeah, I mean, like, I, I don't, you said it, like, I don't, it's, how else would you say, to say anything else besides this is when you're really like twisting words.
There are so many excuses for not criticizing the monarch of a country that's bad.
I mean, you don't even have to stop at the monarch, really.
I mean, if you're only criticizing the queen, yeah, you did a sexism, okay?
Yeah.
But I see no reason not to criticize every man, woman, and child in England just for being English.
And I mean, same thing with America, obviously.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
That's a burden we both should share.
Just one goes a little further back, you know?
Uh, and then she responded to her own tweet here when everybody got really upset.
And also, Twitter took down the tweet.
Twitter, like, took down the tweet for a hate crime or something.
Like, she didn't do it.
She didn't call for violence.
She just said, I hope.
Oh, we're not allowed to have hope anymore.
Yeah, I'm not allowed to believe anymore?
Why did it wake up if I can't believe in something?
It violated Twitter's terms of service for getting the biggest ratio in history, probably.
They were like, our servers can't keep up.
That's actually the problem.
Her response to her now tweet that was taken down says, If anyone expects me to express anything but disdain for the monarch who supervised a government that sponsored the genocide that massacred and displaced half my family and the consequences of which those alive today are still trying to overcome, you can keep wishing upon a star.
And it's like, yeah, sorry, not everybody liked your favorite, like, TV show character.
That's what it was, too.
People really liked that show, and that's what it was.
I think they were like, oh, this beloved character died.
Not, like she said, someone who has literally overseen just the pillaging of multiple continents.
Directly benefited from it.
Africa is not the same because of this person.
and you can say you can say you can offer up whatever kind of excuse you want about how oh she was just born into it or oh she was just she was a figurehead she was a ceremonial figure and it's like okay so She still benefited directly from all of that imperialism.
She's wearing the fucking ill-gotten gains on top of her head for like everybody to see.
Like every jewel in that crown, she's like 50,000 bodies here, 125,000 bodies here.
Oh, this was a whole continent, this one right here.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, how are you not supposed to make fun of this person dying?
Oh, she had grandchildren.
Yeah, so do a lot of people.
Cool.
Her grandchildren suck too.
They're fucking royalty.
So does my grandma, and some of them are awful.
Also, I mean, she never did anything to correct those things.
There's no...
Well, she did some good things.
Those don't exist.
I think she knighted some black dudes, and I think that was pretty cool.
That was it.
I'm pretty sure she was also probably pretty racist to her own black granddaughter.
Oh yeah, no, absolutely it was.
I mean, if she wasn't, she definitely didn't like put a stop to anyone else doing it, which you can do as a queen.
So yeah, that was pretty evident.
The thing about, yeah, her being like, yeah, TV show.
What's the name of that TV show that people like?
The Tudors, The Windsors, The Castle, The Crown, Abbey Road.
Windsor Abbey.
It's something Abbey I think.
Downton Abbey.
Downtown Abbey.
Isn't she in Downton Abbey?
I don't know.
I think she's in that universe.
It sounds like somewhere... She's in the Downton Abbey extended universe.
Yeah.
No, but she's... Also, if it's like the same universe that, like, love actually happens in, it's all the same universe.
No, but they see her as like, yeah, this ceremonial figure or this, like, The person who's on TV, that the media just like celebrates and shows you all their little toys and the way that they get to live off of the public dole.
Off of like, A, taxpayers money, and B, shit that got stolen from other countries.
Like, by their military, right?
Yeah, that's like literally on display in museums where she's profiting off of right now as we speak.
And you're like, As a person who doesn't care about that stuff, they're like, how dare you bring reality into our, like, pomp and our show that we want to watch, which is The Queen's Funeral, or the greatest hits of The Queen, the 100 most graceful waves she ever did.
How dare you, like, talk about the real world and the real...
Things that the fucking British Empire did when we just want to talk about her her being a figurehead and that's what that's what they when they say oh she was a figurehead she was a a ceremonial figure she didn't have yeah political power Okay, first of all, if she didn't have any political power, what the fuck are you, like, congratulating her for?
Why are you complimenting her?
What credit can you give her if she didn't have any political power to begin with?
B, why are you still upholding this stuff?
The family is like, what, the largest landowners in England?
You're telling me the largest landowners don't have any political power?
The top wealthiest people in the country don't have any political power?
Are you baby?
Yeah yeah that's cute that's a nice little that's optimistic of you I mean even at like 35 years old I can't I can't even imagine her like speaking or like I remember like doing anything I I don't know I don't know like I don't even know what the point Okay, Downton Abbey is 1912 to 1926.
That's what it's set in, so that was before her family started their fond relationship with Hitler.
Just like right before.
I think that's actually why they had to stop making it.
That is why the series stops at 1926!
It's right when Hitler starts coming to dinner parties and they're like, oh, who's this really funny guy?
He's like such a great speaker.
What's his deal?
Uh, sorry.
No, Tony.
Yeah, you're right.
I like, I don't get it.
Why, why do you like the queen?
Like if I didn't listen, if I didn't have the queen, you know, it's like how Obama made some people be racist.
Like the Queen, putting the Queen on TV all the time, it makes me be an anti-monarchist.
I would have no opinion either way.
Oh, a monarchy?
That sounds cool, right?
You don't know.
Maybe.
Yeah.
There are tons of kings and queens I don't really give a shit about because I've never seen them, but I had to keep on looking at this person.
They're shoving this shit down my throat, dude.
Yeah.
They're shoving it down my child's throat.
Yeah, I don't know about, like, I don't know about anyone's, like, grandchildren, but I have to know about hers?
I don't fucking, like, yeah, you did this.
You did this, people.
Yeah, it sucks.
It sucks.
It's wack.
And I've seen, like, I've seen some of the most annoying responses to the backlash.
Like, people are pretending that You're being counterculture by respecting the Queen now?
It's once again doing the punk rock as actually listening to police and becoming a cop if that's your destiny in life.
They're doing that now about respecting the Queen.
I saw some post that was like, you don't hate the Queen, you hate capitalism.
Which would be, like, fine if it weren't five paragraphs long talking about how people criticizing the Queen, who is actually a decent woman.
Fuck off.
She was born into that.
She was just slotted into a role, and it's like, you don't like the system.
It's not her you don't like, and it's like, She's on the other side of that system we don't like.
She's benefiting from the system that we don't like.
Like, you can't be like, you don't hate your boss, you hate capitalism.
It's like, what?
You don't hate your landlord, you hate for-profit housing.
It's like, who's benefiting from from for-profit housing, motherfucker?
Who's keeping that shit alive?
It's the other class of people.
And I think A royal family might fall into the category of a ruling class of people.
Maybe.
Even if it is a ceremonial monarchy.
They're like even worse than capitalism because you know at least in capitalism like there's a business to be ran or you're doing something to like profit.
Like they don't do anything.
No.
They don't do anything.
No.
They didn't even have some shitty idea.
They're not even overcharging people for medicine or anything.
They're not doing anything like that.
They're just born.
That's stupid.
That's so fucking stupid.
They also fly on Epstein's plane and store billions of dollars in overseas tax havens.
Yeah, a lot apparently.
I like how that whole thing about people looking up how much she's worth and there's just no accurate way of doing that because it is so spread out because they are literal royalty who's been around for a long time.
They invented this shit, bro.
There's a lot of stuff that belongs to the crown that she couldn't like sell herself I guess because of propriety or whatever because there's like some unspoken rule where oh this this piece of plunder is actually passed down generation to generation so it's not technically like
Counted towards her assets or whatever and it's like I don't know if she was a cool queen She and she just like gave all that stuff away.
I would be like, okay There's right that's that's something to be like, oh, she's actually cool.
Maybe she's still wealthy as fuck, but she's also just like No, fuck the fuck these jewels blah blah blah she but she would never do that like you like that would never happen In the movies, like, that's what we're rooting for, right?
When we watch, you know, movies when, like, the peasant becomes royalty, we're like, cool, now you're gonna, they're gonna give all the money back and do cool things, right?
That's what we, that's, but that doesn't happen, like, we didn't expect that of a real life Queen.
I was actually hoping for Queen Elizabeth after the passing of her husband slash cousin.
Uh, I was hoping that maybe she would go to Italy and get dicked down by three guys in the same day.
And then there would be like a doubt weird, like who, who, who did it?
Who, who did the, you know, who put the bun in the oven?
Who put the biscuit in the, in the bread box.
And then we could, oh, now imagine that.
Imagine Mamma Mia with English accents.
Go for it.
It's so beautiful.
I can't imagine anything more beautiful.
It would be so good.
Carnegie Mellon responded to Professor Anya's, is that her name?
Because that's also my girlfriend's name, so I want to make sure.
Yeah, Professor Anya.
Spelled it.
I think so.
The professor spells it incorrectly, though.
Yeah, so Carnegie Mellon University responded on Facebook to Professor Anya's tweet.
They say, We do not condone the offensive and objectionable messages posted by Uju Anya today on her personal social media account.
Free expression is core to the mission of higher education.
However, the views she shared absolutely do not represent the values of the institution nor the standards of discourse we seek to foster.
Okay, well then you're not doing a good job, obviously.
Foster some better discourse, guys.
Yeah.
Richard Robinson, top comment, says, I'll just say that I would expect a linguist, because Professor Anya is a linguist, I'll just say that I would expect a linguist to understand language and the words they use matter, and know better than others how they would be taken.
So that was the mistake.
She didn't understand that her words would be taken negatively.
Wow, what a bad linguist.
It's also funny, you didn't notice how well written these two sentences were?
These are all very intentional words.
Kind of like obnoxiously well written.
Yeah, kind of like a linguist was trying to get one off and like, I think it worked.
Yeah, it fucking worked.
That's why you're mad and typing right now.
God, the responses to this were so, so fucking good.
Yeah, Laverne Schofield says this is what the quote woke consider to be acceptable dot dot dot.
They do not know what being human really means.
The tragedy is that this is an quote alleged teacher of impressionable youth.
God help us!
No, this is a teacher of adults.
This is a college professor.
There might be some kids in there, but this is mostly going to be adults of voting age who are maybe impressionable, but not in the sense that you're saying.
Yeah, the people attending Carnegie... I'm just gonna go out on a limb.
I don't know anything about the college.
I'm just gonna go out on a limb.
The people attending Carnegie Mellon University are going to take Uju Anya's class, remember nothing about it except when they brag to their friends that they had a black professor once as they're, you know, doing their six-figure job somewhere else.
Yeah, as they tell their, like, black co-worker that.
You would love my professor, Uju Anya.
Why is that?
Did she teach... Is she also an architect?
No.
No, a linguist, but I just thought you guys would get along.
Yeah, she was woke like you are, I'm assuming.
I'm guessing.
Betty Cabrera said, while I agree with free speech, she is a professor at your institution and this reflects poorly upon the university.
She should be terminated immediately.
Yeah, so free speech, it's not free without consequences.
You get fired.
True, we've been saying that.
And then more on that sort of discourse, a guy named Matthew was like, Yeah, she probably tweeted it to be, you know, it's controversial.
Uh, you know, she has obviously strong feelings about it.
I don't think she should be fired for her personal views on her, you know, personal Twitter or whatever.
Um, I, I'm allowed to say what I want on my, on my personal Twitter and my boss can't control what I say, uh, on my, on my Twitter.
And this guy John Baker responded, Matthew, I happen to know your employer and will forward your message.
We will see if he agrees that you don't represent an employer when you're off the clock.
What a dumb thing to post.
What?
What a piece of shit.
Why is snitching so cool to these people?
What is up with snitches?
This comment has love reacts.
People love reacted this guy about snitching to this guy's boss, not about anything he actually said, just about his philosophy that he doesn't represent the company off the clock.
And this guy was like, we'll see about that.
That's wild.
Like, go ahead.
Go ahead.
I'm going to go ahead.
I actually went and put every slur and searched your profile.
We're going to find something.
Forwarded on over to, I don't know, like your manager?
If you want me to be responsible for my company all hours of the day, That's going to be a lot of overtime for you.
Yeah.
To be paying me.
So I wouldn't recommend it.
I wouldn't recommend paying me double overtime to sit on my ass and tweet, you know, and like watch the Lord of the Rings Extended Editions at home.
But if you want to, you know, maybe we can work something out.
Yeah, and if you're into it, like, we don't have to stop at Twitter.
I can, like, start, I'll start all kinds of social media accounts.
I'll get on BeReal right now.
And then somebody responded, a couple more people responded to John, with John fucking Snitch Supreme.
Lisa responded, you are correct, John, I am a funeral director, and if I did something like that, even off the clock, I would be fired, no questions asked.
You represent your employer 24-7.
Imagine going to a funeral director and finding out your funeral director, uh, they don't like the queen.
Imagine that, Tony.
How fucking, how livid would you be?
You know what's funny, actually, is the one thing I saw that wasn't positive or negative, just a funny observation, is my friend who is a funeral director, I guess that that's just how they style old women's hair, is designed after the queen.
That is the standard for old lady burial, is the queen's hair.
Just like the current queen, or a specific queen at a moment in time?
That particular queen.
For the past 40 years or whatever, that's been the standard is that hair.
So are they going to leave her hair the same in the casket then?
I guess they would have to, right?
I mean, I hope not.
Or do they have to wait for the next queen and then dig her ass up and restyle the hair based on what she looks like?
I think it's really up to the king at this point, and his little freak ass is definitely going to take whatever's weird.
Dig her up!
Dig that one up!
So yeah, I guess maybe that is why you would want your female director to care about the queen.
That's very weird.
I did not expect that.
It's funny because when she posted this I was like, I don't think you're like a fan of the Queen.
That's weird that you posted a picture of the Queen.
And it was just like, this is the hairstyle I have to do on every old lady.
This is the one.
That's all I know about her.
So you learned that shit in like funeral directors college?
Like funerary university?
I don't, like, I'm going, you know, Makeup and hair, yeah, like on dead bodies.
God forbid if I ever have to bury anybody.
Hopefully I won't.
Hopefully everybody I know right now stays alive.
Hopefully I die first and then I don't have to worry about any of that.
Oh, that would be so sweet.
I'm gonna demand that they do a different hairstyle on the old lady.
I think you can like pick what you want but there's a lot of old ladies who like no one really says anything they just have to do whatever.
I want you to give me the hair from the Mars Attacks sexy robot woman.
But not on me, but on her.
I think it'd be funny if it's like, I think now's the time.
I think now we should give her cornrows.
Are you going to cancel her?
What are you going to do?
I think cornrows is lay out some straight backs.
Let's do that.
Be gentle, though.
The skin's very thin.
You can't go too tight on the braids.
Mr. Tom McDonald, my grandma was such a fan of yours.
She also pissed off.
She was a white girl pissing off a lot of black people, just like you.
This is her.
Please, please retweet.
Yeah, can you give her the Tom MacDonald?
Sure, I guess I'll give her like a... and then they find out who Tom MacDonald is.
Oh, oh shit, okay, alright.
Yeah, and then Lynn Wolford again replying to Snitch John says, you are 100% correct.
I've worked for several large advertising firms throughout my career, and with each one I've had to sign an agreement that I represent their company with every action, whether I'm on the clock or not.
So yeah, it makes a lot of sense that Americans who are obsessed with the queen of just a different country, not even the queen of the country in which they live, but the queen of a different country.
These people love her so much.
Yeah, it makes sense that these are the type of people who would pledge their lives to their boss without even getting paid for it.
Yeah, it's so, like, I think they're also reading too into that.
I think if you're working for an advertising firm, I think the deal is like, hey guys, we got Doritos, we're doing ads for Doritos, so you can't do any more ads about how Doritos make you bust juicy ass.
You can't do those tweets anymore.
You gotta stop doing the tweets about how Doritos make you shit yourself, okay?
Yeah.
Sound good?
They're not gonna want you on the team.
Well, but you have to remember, Dorito did just kill the queen.
So I feel like any advertiser worth their salt is gonna really, like, hit them pretty hard for that one.
Yeah, yeah.
Make it worthwhile.
I mean, it's gonna be a tough sell.
I would recommend the Salsa Verde.
I don't care what happened to the queen.
I think, you know, our IP to her, but I think a lot of our listeners are different.
You know how we do this, right?
Throw them in a camel bag.
These are chips for men.
The king wouldn't have died.
There we go.
Yeah, 3D puffed Doritos.
Take out the whole family.
Oh, hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
That's a different kind of explosive right there.
Yeah, Game of Soldiers WTM commented, As a Brit, I respect dignity for the death of any person.
Today was not the day for such a comment.
To wish anyone a painful death is actually inhumane.
Really, there is no more to say.
Not today, anyhow.
And yeah, this like sums it up.
It sums up the outrage, it sums up the sentiment about the Queen herself for a lot of these people, which is it's fake.
They like that it's fake.
Do not remind them that reality exists.
They will not like you for it.
Because as a Brit, I respect dignity for the death of any person.
Well, that's demonstrably false, isn't it?
The actual deaths, the millions of actual deaths that Britain is responsible for.
I mean, don't even have a bad wish.
You had a naughty wish about somebody who's already dead, you can't hurt him.
But you had a naughty wish about him, which is really a thousand times worse than anything a royal family could ever do.
And the funny thing, the truth of the matter is, they're right.
Like, in the sense that you really shouldn't just talk about people that way.
With a few exceptions.
And this is one of the easy ones.
This is one of the easy exceptions.
Like, if it's just like a regular person who probably didn't do anything bad and you just don't know anything about them.
Had no power, yeah.
Yeah, had no power.
Probably never harmed anybody.
They were just an asshole.
Maybe lied a couple times.
Maybe was a little rude.
Yeah, maybe don't say that about them.
You don't need to go that hard on them.
But this is one of the people that you don't have to justify being mean to because they're one of the worst people in history.
Like, come on!
Yeah.
Um, and speaking of like, you know, play acting at politics and, and, and like recoiling at the suggestion that there are real politics going on around this person.
Did you see the fucking Hamilton tweets?
Oh my god.
The Hamilton account tweeted out a loving tribute to the Queen.
It says, everyone at Hamilton is deeply saddened by the passing of Her Majesty the Queen and we offer our sincere condolences to the Royal Family.
We join together with the people of the United Kingdom and around the world in mourning her loss.
Now, the only justification I heard of this was like, oh, they have like a, they have like a UK production.
But like, do you know what your play is supposed to be about?
I guess you just took a few liberties with the whole like, well, they're black now.
So also like, you know, they were, they were just trying to move across the ocean.
It had nothing to do with anything else.
Is the Queen black also in Hamilton?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The spirit of the Queen is you don't see her ever, but you're just supposed to believe that she is, in fact.
They keep on referencing how, like, she's mean, but she's got soul throughout the whole thing.
I it's it well okay so you asked oh do you know what your play is supposed to be about Mr. Hamilton are you aware of the the sort of plot synopsis of the play and I am and the play is about owning Donald Trump the play is about rejecting the idea that uh immigrants are bad and now if Donald Trump had died You can bet Hamilton would be throwing some shade towards that grave, right?
But the play's not like actually about rejecting monarchy or the ruling class or anything like that.
It's about how, oh, the founding fathers were actually pretty cool, guys.
Yeah it's like it's just this is gross like patriot worship it's it's stupid it like totally strips these those men who you know did the whole constitution but also like Own the ancestors, the people who'd go on to play them, and I guess that's supposed to be like a cool, like, we'll get over it type thing.
But it's just, it's so fucked.
I hate it.
It's taking power back, Tony.
You're taking power back by, uh, pretending to be somebody on a stage for entertainment.
That's gonna happen years from now.
You guys know that Donald Trump was actually a fantastic rapper and a pretty good dancer and an amazing lover, right?
You do know that.
I don't know if you've seen the production of 45 and the logo is a 45 adapter.
Like, he was pretty fresh.
A 45 adapter!
Jaden Smith plays him.
Like, is that what they're gonna do, you know, like later on?
So stupid.
Yeah, they're gonna pretend he's like a Kid Rock figure.
They're gonna be like, you know what, he got a lot of hate for being conservative, but actually, like, the people in the club would stop and be like, holy shit, did you see that white boy on the turntables?
It's a young Donald Trump up there fucking mixing with his chin.
You know Detroit, they're just convoluting Kid Rock and Donald Trump.
You know Donald Trump was the king of Detroit.
All he needed was a rhythm and some cardboard and he would really turn out the party.
Also Les Miserables.
Tweeted about the Queen, the play, the production of Les Miserables, which I believe translates to the loyalists.
I think that's what Les Miserables, to the happy subjects.
I think so.
Yeah.
Everyone at Les Miserables is deeply saddened by the past.
Oh, they're deeply saddened by the, maybe that's why they were miserable, is because they knew the Queen would one day die.
That's probably why they were all so sad.
That makes sense.
And now it's come to fruition.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, it's, it's actually like the same exact fucking tweet word for word.
I just realized that.
We joined together with the people of the United Kingdom and around the world in mourning her loss.
Wow.
That's good.
I like that.
I like that at least it's like, at least it's copypasta to an extent, you know, that's good.
I don't want them to actually believe this stuff.
One second.
Okay.
So, while in America, people are calling for a professor to be fired for not liking the Queen.
You have to like the Queen if you want to work at this university, baby.
Over in Scotland, a woman got arrested for not liking the Queen.
I have here an article from metro.co.uk.
Such a weird way they do websites over there.
I don't like it.
Woman arrested after holding abolish monarchy sign in Edinburgh.
A woman was arrested holding an anti-monarchy sign in Edinburgh today before the Queen's court... courtier?
I think they mean corgi, arrived in the city.
She was detained outside St.
Giles Cathedral where the monarch's coffin is due to be held from tomorrow after spending the night at the Palace of...
Holy rude house.
Okay.
Seems like a cool, cool chick.
Moments before the proclamation of Charles III as the new king this afternoon, a demonstrator appeared in the crowd opposite Mercat Cross.
She held a sign saying, fuck imperialism, abolish monarchy.
Seems like a cool, cool chick.
She's got green hair.
She's wearing like a dark gray velvet-looking shirt.
I like her style.
She's got cool glasses too.
Yeah, yeah.
Cool glasses, cool earrings.
She's mouthing something and one of the pictures I can like see her accent and I need to hear it.
I can like see it in the shape of her mouth right now.
It just seems like it's real rich.
I want to hear her read her own sign.
Officers appeared behind her and took her away, prompting the crowd to applaud.
Imagine, imagine that!
Fucking losers!
Fucking losers!
Jesus Christ!
And I mean, I know it's cliche, but in the year 2022, you are arresting somebody for criticizing the king.
Oh, they're a ceremonial king.
They have no power.
How come I get arrested When I criticize them, huh?
Yeah, they can't hear me.
They're a ceremonial figurehead.
They hold absolutely no political influence whatsoever.
Then why the fuck is the news talking about them 24-7?
Why do we have to sit here and listen to how great they are all the time?
Yeah, exactly.
But are they trying to say maybe just because it has the word fuck on it?
Yeah.
Um, disturbing, disturbing the piece is what she was.
Uh, maybe her accent was too thick or like, you got to get that out of here.
It's disturbing.
Uh, one man, one man shouted, let her go.
It's free speech.
While others yelled, have some respect.
And again, it's like, you can say that you can say that exactly.
It's like, Oh, you think she should have some respect with what she says?
Okay, that's fine.
Officers are literally arresting her for what she said.
Should the officers have some respect for her?
You know what I mean?
Like, it's an insane conversation to have about whether or not this woman showed the right amount of respect towards the Queen as she's literally being arrested.
I think arresting somebody is more disrespectful than saying a curse word.
Yeah.
Like a cardboard sign.
Not even a very big one.
I don't think she was obstructing that much view.
It's so over the top.
Yeah, it sucks ass.
This is what people... Watch V for Vendetta.
This is what they were talking about.
A police spokesman said the 22-year-old woman was arrested in connection with a breach of the peace.
There you go.
It came on the day thousands lined the streets to watch the Queen's coffin arrive in Edinburgh, where she will stay before continuing the journey to her final resting place.
Countless tearful well-wishers turned out to pay their respects to the late monarch as her hearse made the 175-mile journey from Balmoral.
But some hecklers were heard booing among the crowds gathered in Scotland's capital to hear the proclamation of Charles.
Yeah, one man was heard booing throughout the cheers.
Good for that man.
I love that man.
The national anthem was then sung, but afterwards people could be heard calling for a republic.
Um, yeah, I don't know, like, it sucks that she was arrested.
That's ridiculous.
But everybody, you know...
Criticizing Professor Anya for tweeting out a mean thing.
You should like go over to Irish social media and see what they're doing because it's more fun, frankly, because it's not coming from professional linguists.
It's coming from just real people who have a real hatred of the British monarchy for good reasons.
They're doing something like dancing.
Dancing and celebrating.
They're singing things like Lizzy's in a box at stadiums during football matches.
I do gotta give it up for that aspect of the culture, you know?
That was sick.
I love seeing a stadium full of people singing a song no matter what the song is usually.
Even the racist ones, because when they're all singing together it's still charming, you know?
But this one is something I can get behind.
Yeah, it's very funny like half the people tut-tutting at Professor Anya or acting shocked or offended or whatever like how many of those people do you think have invoked Irish slaves as a defense of their own racism?
Why don't you ask your Irish brethren, if you actually have any, how they feel about the ruling family who oversaw the famine.
The famine that forced millions of Irish to have to flee, that killed millions of Irish, that was deliberately inflicted upon Ireland.
Yeah.
You guys know that the world is real and there's an actual history that God is here, right?
It's not just, you know, kiss me, I'm Irish.
If you want to go ahead and claim this whole, you know, protect your culture and your way, then maybe learn about some of it.
Seeing the crossovers between Irish Twitter and Black Twitter, the day the Queen died, was so good.
It's so wholesome.
It, like, gives me hope for the future.
Yeah I still like my whole thing I don't give a shit like either way and so like that's what's kind of funny is I was like I guess I guess the cool thing is it's it's two things it's Irish Twitter who's like actually charged up because like they're invested in it and then there's a black Twitter who's just really good at Twitter and so that's why it was like a fun like culmination but I'm like I don't know what I'm I don't I'm not gonna dunk on like I don't I don't have a I don't care I'm not, I don't care.
I don't care.
Like I guess I was trying to, someone misread my joke, but I was saying like, I don't care about, I'm not going to care about Ireland today.
I don't, I don't give a shit.
I got, I'm still in America where shit sucks.
I'm not going to get excited for Ireland.
I still have a lot of things to be mad about here.
Yeah.
But am I even excited about the Queen dying?
Cause I have too many things going on here.
Well, that's fair, but sure.
I don't know.
There's like other things I wish people would engage as much over, but I guess this is the biggest thing in the world.
Yeah.
Like literally, I'm not being sarcastic there.
Yeah.
I mean, it has to be like, that's what, that's the thing is like, they tell us it's the biggest thing in the world and we're like, okay, this is how I feel about the biggest thing in the world that's happening.
And they're like, no, not today.
Yeah, that's not appropriate for you to react to the biggest thing in the world.
Unless you're going to say nice things.
Yeah, and it's like, if you just reported, oh, the Queen's dead.
You know, you might have a case to be like, oh, well, now is not the time for criticism or whatever.
But no, it's like round-the-clock coverage of how great she was and how beautiful the procession is and, oh, the poor royal family and all that.
It's like, no, then I get to say my stuff too.
You get to say all that shit enshrined in cable news and local news and newspapers and all that.
Then I get to say what I want on Twitter.
And maybe some people will see it and then you can get really mad about it.
And if you guys really cared, you would have more than one graphic to post on every single digital billboard everywhere.
It's that one, it's the one image with the one, it's the one graphic that's everywhere and it's spooky.
The one where she's waving?
It's just the one picture.
I don't know what she's doing in it.
Is it with dates or anything?
It's just the one, but it's the same one everywhere.
It's so weird.
Is it the one that's on the money?
Is she on the money?
I don't... She's probably on the money.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think he's on Canadian Money.
It's just one image.
It's on every digital billboard and bus stop.
It's everywhere.
But it's just the one.
It's not like any variety.
It's just really funny.
Okay, so here are some responses to the woman who was arrested for holding a mean sign.
She was arrested for holding a mean sign about our favorite queen.
Monroe Adkin said, probably one of Meghan Markle's long-lost kin.
And it's... It's like, isn't Meghan one of the royals?
Like, isn't she the one whose, like, boots you're supposed to be licking?
What the fuck?
But she's not.
Because she married in.
And she's clearly not, because, you know... She's the bad one.
...melanin.
Alfred says, there's always one in the crowd.
Have some respect.
And then Tom replies, these brainwashed lice have no respect for anyone, anything, and even life itself.
Riot, loot, burn, assault, maim and or kill are all part of the Marxist slash socialist agenda.
Totally dude.
You know this is about a cardboard sign right?
Like that's what this was.
That's how it starts Tony.
I mean, it would have been sick if someone threw a Molotov cocktail at the motorcade.
That would have been so awesome, but like, that's not what happened.
It's just a sign.
Yeah, and then Napoleon VII says, all the brainwashed little postmodern Bolsheviks that are cranked out of the academy like widgets on a factory conveyor belt.
The termites of Western civilization.
So I'm happy that academia and higher learning is not ruining just Americans.
It's also brainwashing everybody around the world.
Western people, at least.
Aren't university and stuff over there even more classist?
Isn't it even more difficult in the sense that there's certain ones to access certain higher education?
Yeah, they send you a letter in the mail.
They send you a letter by owl if you're allowed to go.
You can't even apply.
What if you don't have an owl?
You can't just get an owl.
You have to receive it.
It's fucked up.
I really like the idea of tying communism to anti-monarchism.
Yeah.
Okay, I'll own that.
I'm good with that.
I'll take that, yeah, sure.
That's cool.
Yeah, that's the delineation.
Everybody over here is Marxist.
Everybody over there is simps for the royal family.
It's funny because these other people who are talking about, you know, termites of the Western civilization, they would refer to things like democracy as what makes it great.
Maybe.
Sorry.
But what makes it great, you know?
So like, this is quite the opposite.
It's so funny.
I don't know, the right is like, the right are becoming monarchists.
Like, there is a right-wing to monarchist pipeline and it has to do with the fact that they realize they are dwindling in numbers It's the same thing with the Electoral College.
It's the same thing with them saying, we live in a republic, not a democracy.
They're recognizing that they are a decreasing minority.
And so some of them are just outright becoming monarchists because of it.
Yeah, and that's fine.
Gotta get rid of term limits.
I'm down to have that debate.
Yeah, please.
Yeah, calling people lice and termites.
It's great stuff.
LM3 says about the protester, she must be from the, look at me, I'm so cool generation.
Yeah, I guess so.
She nailed it, if that's the case.
That was like old Gen Xers, I think, were the Mii generation.
So that probably indicates how old LM3 is.
Possibly on her own trip to meet the Queen.
But yeah, I think she is cool.
I think the protester was cool, and I'm glad I looked at her.
She had it right by suggesting that.
By most metrics of what is considered cool, I think she qualified for all of them.
Good job.
Very cool.
I did look at you.
Very cool.
Deplorable.
I loved this comment.
This is from somebody called Deplorable.
So, you know, accepting the label given to them gladly by Hillary Clinton.
Owning it.
Taking it back.
Deplorable says the American colonies didn't like the monarchy, but we didn't protest at funerals.
We left and lived in peace with the British crown and her other colonies such as Canada.
Where is there a more peaceful border than Canada slash USA?
The small handful of disgruntled Scots are victims of democracy.
There we go.
Throughout my entire life, I watched this queen let go of colonies that voted democratically to leave the crown.
The Scots and Irish need to relearn democracy.
Yeah, that's what a lot of people were saying about What was positive about her was that she let other countries secede from the Empire.
It's like, okay.
And like, I'm pretty confident that by that just severed ties.
Didn't like help, you know, bring things back.
Didn't help like, didn't do any type of reparations or anything like that.
Just, no, just, Okay, cool.
You don't have what I want anymore anyways.
That's what they want, pet backpats for.
Yeah, we could have killed them, you know that, right?
You know we could have killed them all.
We didn't.
We just killed a few.
I love this so much.
The American colonies, we didn't like the monarchy, but we respect it.
We didn't like the monarchy, but we didn't protest at funerals.
No, we just killed people.
We killed a bunch of people.
Yeah.
We did fucking war.
Like how, how are these brains so rot?
Like, how do you talk?
How do you talk like this?
How do you, like, do, do you not reread your sentence at all?
I don't understand.
We didn't, we didn't take a knee.
All right.
I'll tell you what they didn't do.
They didn't watch the Patriot.
Yeah.
The only knees we're taking out are entire knees with cannonballs.
I like this one a lot.
Gazager says about this arrest, to know who rules over you, see what slash who you cannot question.
And it's like, oh, wow.
Now that I've seen this experiment in action, I think the Queen might be ruling over them.
Is that what they're saying?
It's good to have a symbol?
Like, yeah, it's good to have like a symbol, like a, no, it's an old, it's an old phrase.
Like if, like, if you can't speak ill of something, then that's who rules.
That's like, yeah.
And it's misattributed to Voltaire, but that's the phrase.
To know who rules you, know who you're not allowed to criticize.
And modern people use that a lot as an anti-Semitic dog whistle, to be like, you're not allowed to criticize our buddy Jeff Berwick, star of the Anarchists, founder of Anarchapoco.
Loves this.
I mean, he says this quote verbatim.
But yeah, to know who rules over you, look at who you're not allowed to criticize.
And it's like, I didn't... Look at what slurs you're not allowed to use.
But when it comes to the queen, like, I don't think I needed to... I don't think I needed this example!
That's literally, she's the ruler!
Yeah, we know that, that big ass crown on her head told her that, told us that, you know, like the fact that her name is the Queen, like that's, that's, that told us that.
I love the comment section so much.
So good.
And then this just in says, so very classy and the low classes wonder why they are treated as such.
That's so funny.
That's the thing too is like, oh, that's just low class.
Those are, those are the poor, those are the poor lemmings who, who speak that way.
If they had dignity, they wouldn't be down where they're at.
Right.
If they wouldn't act that way, they would actually be successful.
Yeah.
We were about to, we were about to give them generational wealth until they didn't like the queen and oops, sorry, you fucked up.
Like you really, you really blew that one.
Yeah.
Um, there was one more thing back that I, that I skipped over accidentally.
Um, when we were talking about professor, uh, Anya, that was just amazing.
All right.
So, uh, a lot of people happen to take notice of, uh, of what race professor Anya was.
She's a black woman.
And so they were all saying things like, Oh, if a white person tweeted this about a black leader, they would have been fired immediately.
Amazing.
It's like, oh yeah, sure, yeah, if a white person tweeted this about a black queen of England, yeah, I can bet the fucking hellstorm that would ensue.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like having to make up the wildest shit to justify your own outrage at it.
It's so amazing.
First of all, there's not a black king or queen of England.
It's not going to happen.
Yeah, imagine if there were a black queen of England.
Yeah, I can.
You would die.
You would fucking slit your own throat if it happened.
And the closest thing that's ever coming to it would be a black president.
And if that was the case, then it would have been a lot of people who would have had to suffer whatever punishment you're talking about.
Uh, because a lot of white people were saying exactly those things for no reason.
I mean, if they would have said the reason we were saying it would have been cool, but they weren't.
They were just being racist.
So Lena Davidson says, her tweet represents her racism towards white people.
Racists should be fired from their jobs.
A white racist would be.
And so, If you look at her tweet, which I've already read, I'm not going to read it again.
Despite how linguistically it's written.
She doesn't say anything about white people.
She says something about a monarchy.
She says something about the ruling imperialists.
And yet, it's taken as an attack on all white people.
And this got me thinking.
yeah probably to a lot of people the queen represents like a sort of hereditary status That some people yearn for some people, some people really want that tradition to come back.
Let's just say, um, the act of being respected based on how you were born.
Um, and it got me thinking like if, if princess Diana was the people's princess, I think queen Elizabeth was the white people's queen.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
That's that totally makes sense.
Yeah.
It's such a popular thing that...
You can like buy plots of land now, like little tiny, like four by four square foot plots of land in like England to become a Lord.
Cause you like own land and you have the title of Lord now.
You just do that.
And that's really funny.
But I think it's even more funny that someone were to hear that and just kind of subconsciously, you know, correlate monarchy and, and like royalty with like whiteness.
And like you said, it's not just an attack on the monarchy, it's an attack on whiteness.
That's so, so funny.
It's like those same people would never acknowledge something like privilege.
They would never acknowledge something like privilege, and they would recoil at the suggestion that as white people, they are guilty for the actions of the British Empire.
Right?
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
Now, I would not say that white people as a whole are responsible for the actions of the British Empire, but that's like the straw man that these people are using to
get you know get certain history books out of classes or you know this is how they're attacking critical race theory is that oh well you're trying to tar all of us with the actions of a few and it's like you see yourself in that few all the time you love being you love like pretending to be part of that few we're the ones telling you you're delusional you are not part of the royal family you have nothing in common with them and yet you insist on
Like, you insist on snuggling up to them and taking credit for what they do.
Yeah, that heritage that you claim, that heritage not hatred, it has some baggage.
It's kind of up to you what you want to do with it, and you're the one who wants to just claim the heritage without any of the actual weight or responsibility.
Right.
Yeah, and it's like you don't have to.
Just wash your hands of it if you don't want that.
Yeah, you can just sit on the sidelines and make fun of her with the rest of us.
Yeah, do that.
You could just say, that's fucked up, because you're not tied to it anymore.
All right, that's the episode.
I hope you enjoyed our little treat for you guys on the 400th episode of Minion Death Cult.
We've been doing this show a while now.
We love doing it.
It's incredible.
The response that we get from it is surreal.
When I look at how many people are listening to the episode, I'm like, there's not even that many people in the world.
Like, England didn't even kill that many people, you know?
No way!
Yeah, yeah.
Not in a hundred years.
Yeah, so thanks so much for, you know, going on this journey with us.
We got merch, like I said.
We have a hat that we've been wanting to make for a long time.
It is a Realtree camo hat with the Hi-Viz Minion Death Cult black metal logo right in that center.
It's gonna be so sick.
It's so sick.
I got the hats ordered.
It's a limited supply.
I'm only getting like 48 made.
So get in there quick.
The shirts we're also really excited about.
I don't want to just describe the shirt.
I think people are going to like it.
It's long sleeve.
It's weird.
It's got little splashes of color and some logos you might recognize, some designs you might be familiar with.
Yeah, I mean, don't worry about it.
It's just a long sleeve forehead hair.
It goes hard.
Oh, I will say it says, um, on the sleeves, it says a sick site filled with demons, which is a compliment that we received on the podcast Facebook page.
That was, uh, that was the, uh, the response that a Facebook user had to our podcast was that, uh, it was a sick site filled with demons.
Yes.
And I've wanted to make merch out of that for a while, and now we have it.
And I think it looks great.
It looks really cool.
It's on a Comfort Colors faded black long sleeve.
Good fall shirt, in my opinion.
Yeah, it's good to make a shirt that we'll actually wear, because it's fucking tight, so.
Get stuffed, people.
Yeah, so, go to MinionDeathCult.com to purchase that.
I'm gonna try to get, to make it available to purchase with debit cards, because it's just been PayPal.
In the past.
I'm gonna try to set it up so that we you can use like Visa credit cards and shit like that on on the website because I know people have been asking for that.
And so that should be available if you want 20% off of all merchandise.
That's a big number 20% I hate it when you get like a coupon and it's like 10% And it's like, okay, I'll still use it, but that's not enticing me to buy any.
20%, that's a coupon worth looking.
That's a coupon worth clipping.
Yeah, that's something.
That's something I might go ahead and, you know, I'd pay for that coupon, if you know what I mean.
I'd pay $3.11 for that coupon.
Especially that coupon came with so many back episodes.
Yeah, it's crazy the amount of content you're gonna get for $3.11 a month.
And yeah, you're gonna get 20% off all merchandise, including all the stickers we got there at MinionDeathCult.com.
So yeah, check it out.
And we'll talk to you again soon.
Yeah, peace.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Here's to another 400 episodes.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
All debuting simultaneously.
It's this big project we're working on.
Alright, bye.
Don't worry about it.
Peace.
I can tell a meaning of a word like serene
I've got some old grief when I was sixteen I can tell the difference between margarine and butter I can see Saskatchewan without starting to stutter But I can't understand why we let someone else rule our land I could get a broken jaw from being in a fight.
I know it's evening when day turns to night.
I can understand why strangle allies so wholly.
They can save a lot of points by saying their heads go away.
