UNLOCKED: The horse is also very large, strong, muscled, powerful, and yes - packing.
The ladies from Low Culture Boil join us to talk bookstore drama and Alpha Masculinity, starting with an interesting thread about women, horses, impropriety, and leading to a manifesto with some incredible rules on how to be masculine. Follow Rax King and Amber Rollo on twitter. Get Rax's new book from a local bookstore through http://bookshop.org Get a bonus episode every week by supporting the show for only $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Music: Hole - Jennifer's Body
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get yourself.
All their environmental stuff.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Women on horseback are responsible.
We're documenting it.
What's up, everybody?
It's your Patreon show for the week.
Thank you so much for subscribing and supporting the show and helping us support abortion access networks.
Really appreciate you folks here as a treat.
Helping people should be its own reward.
We literally should not have to do this episode, frankly.
It's true.
It's true.
Feeling generous, so we brought on a couple amazing guests to help us do this very fun, very weird, I'm sure, episode.
We got Rax and Amber from the Low Culture Boil podcast.
How are you ladies doing?
I'm great.
How are you doing?
Thank you for having us on.
Very good.
How are you doing, Rax?
Yeah, I wasn't sure when I should answer, because there's two of us.
I'm also doing great.
Good.
Well, also, as we established before we started recording, welcome, ladies.
But Rax, you are bringing the perspective of alpha male to the table.
Yes.
And so I appreciate that.
I was invited on here.
As someone who is a grind state person, you're here for that.
Thank you.
I was invited on here specifically because I'm such an alpha man.
I work hard and play hard.
What else?
The grind set?
Something about grind set was in there.
I remember when we met, um, you shook my hand and you turned my hand over.
And I was looking at the top of your hand and I just, and I knew, I knew where I stood.
I knew where I stood at that moment.
Yeah, I was presenting a very masculine frame.
There's something about the frame.
And then you kept calling me the wrong name.
You kept calling me Tommy, other things.
Yeah, and talking very little and just kind of staring.
That's how I like to vibe out.
Rax kind of looks like an amused stone most of the time.
Amused stone really ruined my day.
When I read those two words in that order, I knew that it was just over for me.
We have kind of a long trip to get to the amused stone and to the framing device that one of our subjects will be using.
Today, that's gonna be the second half of this show, I think.
So, yeah, Rax, you recently released a book called Tacky, right?
I did.
My girlfriend, big fan of the book, she loved it.
She recommended it to a lot of people.
She wrote a little recommendation for a bookstore she works at that said, I think her description was pretty brief, but it was, this book reminds me of stealing makeup from Ross when I was 15.
Stealing makeup from Ross.
That's the most perfect little recommendation.
That's so nice.
So I was wondering if you guys would be interested at all in some book gossip, some book drama.
Yes.
Yes.
I sure would.
Gossip of any kind.
Yeah.
A funny thing happened to a totally different person who I won't name, who works at a bookstore that I also won't name.
You'll tell us after the podcast, yes.
Absolutely.
They do tables, themed tables, I think every month, probably.
Somebody did a working class history table with a bunch of different books about strikes.
Labor movements.
One of the tables that they did was, the theme was unhinged women.
And it had a lot of pretty cool books from what I've heard on it, such as Night Bitch, which is gonna be made into a movie with Amy Adams.
It's about a woman who, I think she thinks she's becoming a dog.
She does think that, yeah.
Have you read it?
No, I just keep seeing the same tweet going around about how Amy Adams plays a woman who thinks she's becoming a dog, and now it's just in my consciousness forever.
Yeah.
From what I heard, the book is good.
I don't think Amy Adams is in the book.
I think it's a different lady in the book.
The protagonist of the book is also named Amy Adams.
It's crazy.
That's funny, because Amazon's telling me it's about art, power, and womanhood.
So I don't know what you were talking about.
I just think it's very interesting that you decide to become a, it's a woman who thinks she's becoming a dog, not becoming a wolf.
It's not a werewolf.
It's a puppy.
Okay.
Yeah.
This is a, this is a, this is a pro pup pod.
I want that needs to be known.
This is a pro pup pod.
So obviously we have dogs.
Both of us have amazing pups.
So we are pro pup.
I think Puff is a little overrated.
I've never really gotten into them.
I get that, Chip.
Oh, cool.
That's not for me.
So this book table was like powerful women, you know, stories by women, women of color, about embracing their, you know, quote unquote, unhinged traits.
And somebody who is a former employee at this bookstore, friends with all the people who work there, essentially, Took a screenshot of the table from somebody else's photo, probably, and wrote a Facebook post about it.
You guys want to hear the Facebook post?
I do.
Yes.
Okay.
She said, I'm so pissed, but mostly I'm really hurt.
If you've known me for five minutes, you know how much I love blank books.
It's because of this that I'm so upset with a decision they recently made.
Blank Books has put together a themed table of books with characters with mental illness.
The title of the table is UNHINGED.
The sign depicts an urban dictionary entry that uses this extremely harmful ableist and sexist language.
This perpetuates stereotypes and images of quote crazy women and of people with mental health struggles as being untrustworthy or incapable.
This is not okay!
If you're upset by this, sign, and wish to support women and those who struggle with mental illness, please do the following.
What do you think it's gonna be?
Do you think it's gonna be, like, organized, or do you think it's gonna be like, you know, here's a mutual aid network?
It's like this post, isn't it?
Is it like this post?
Is it, uh, is it- Bad Yelp reviews?
Boycott this, boycott this, uh, yeah, store.
Email managing partner blank and store manager blank and ask that the sign be removed in an apology issue I'm sure like disabled people are gonna feel a lot better, you know, like oh man my My mental health, boy, didn't need this.
And then you hear that the manager got an email, and you're like, phew, wow, OK.
I'm good now.
Yeah, never mind.
We're solid now.
Thank God this person stopped this.
Thank God they took a picture and shared it so that more people could see the message that they found really hurtful.
I think that really helps.
I will say that as a woman of unhinged experience, I like the idea of the themed tables and I feel like the post is just so out of pocket but if somebody sent me a picture of my book on a table with a sign on it that was like psychotic bitches like literature for dumb as dog shit crazy cunts I wouldn't Maybe love that.
Just from that angle, I'd be like, maybe put my book in another part of the store where it doesn't say all that stuff.
I mean, that's a nuts post, though.
That's a bananas post to make.
No, those people are the people who need to read your book.
If they're like dumb as rocks, dumb, dumb bitches, then they need to read your book so they won't be anymore.
You think it has that power?
I don't know that a book about how, like, creed is good actually is going to make you less stupid.
I mean, then you need to read your own thing about how empowering greed can be.
Shit!
Oh my god, you just cancelled me.
I mean, I agree that the label of the table is side-eye worthy, but...
But the post.
That Facebook post is stupid as shit.
Like, why?
That's not going to help anybody do anything.
The solution.
Yeah, OK, maybe, hang on, let me, so it was, I think it just said unhinged.
I don't know if it said unhinged women.
OK.
But these are like mostly women who are putting this table up.
Oh, totally, yeah.
And it's people who work there do have, you know, mental health issues, you know.
And I feel like the intent was clearly to like some sort of reclamation of the word.
Like, okay, so one of another person I know who works at the bookstore, they posted on their private Instagram, a story that was It's Xena, Warrior Princess.
And in front of it, it says, who's ready for Unhinged Saturday?
And it's Xena, like, screaming, like, fuck yeah.
Is that, like, Purge Night?
It's like kind of the tone of, I think, what they were going for was, like, a more aggressive, like, you know, offensive, in terms of, like, not defense, but offensive.
More punk rock, yeah.
Yeah, and it's very funny the way it's being, like, the way it was, Willfully misinterpreted because this person, instead of contacting any of their friends who put this stuff up there, they were like, oh, I'll post this on social media and get some emails.
I'll get some people to send emails.
A letter writing campaign.
I would ask if they could CC me in anything they send, though.
That would be my caveat.
Can you CC me in it?
I want to be up in this.
One of the comments on the Instagram post calling them out Says, while I enjoy a themed table just as much as the next person, I am married to someone with mental health issues, and the impact it has on me and my children is no laughing matter.
Oh my God.
I wish y'all had shown a little more caring and empathy when choosing this sign.
I hate my wife.
Yeah.
My wife is so fucking crazy.
Hey, you asshole, I'm married to an unhinged woman, all right?
It's not all fun and games.
You chose to put that label on her.
Listen, I want my kids to be excited about reading books, and like, if they see this word that I use for their mom, who I talk terribly about all the time, associated with books, they're not going to want to read books.
Can we just, maybe something else?
Yeah, I'm mostly joking about being, you know, the crazy bitch books.
Like, I like the idea of it.
I feel like it's a whack thing to do, to just passive-aggressively Post a picture of your former workplace and just scream to all your former coworkers about how ableist the thing they did was.
This person, I'm probably maybe crossing a line here, but this person, I'm also aware that when they left the workplace, they hid photos of themselves all over the workplace with encouraging and uplifting messages.
Attached to the photo so that you would be moving a book and see this person staring right back at you saying, have a wonderful day.
Oh my god!
No!
You are beautiful.
You are strong.
The water filtration system needs replacement.
So they're just mad because that table replaced the notorious RBG table that she made before.
It was an amalgamation of strong women and dead rappers.
That's so scary.
If I were in a bookstore and I took a book and there was just a stranger saying inspirational stuff to me, I feel like that would just seem like a haunting to me.
I would worry that I was being pursued by a ghost.
It just seems like a very strange idea to put your face along with the encouraging words.
Couldn't you just put the encouraging words?
Exactly.
Why are you inserting yourself into the situation?
It seems very similar to writing a Facebook post about this instead of like inserting yourself into the conversation rather than just maybe problem solving.
If you have a issue with it, reaching out to your former coworkers.
Agreed.
100%.
I'll just read off some of these titles for anybody interested.
A Touch of Jen, Her Body- Oh, my friend Beth wrote that book!
Oh, okay, cool.
Yeah, Beth- Beth Morgan.
Beth Morgan, yeah.
Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Machado.
We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson.
Oh, yeah, oh my god, one of our, both of our favorite books.
Yeah, these books are all amazing.
Yeah, they're all great books.
Bing and Hasliss.
Bing and Hasliss.
Yeah.
Milk Fed by Melissa Broder, which has a giant, like, deconstructed, not deconstructed, but, like, minimalist nipple on the cover.
Another banger of a book.
Yeah.
All great books so far.
Yeah.
I knew it without even knowing it, you know?
I like this bookstore.
We have a pretty, I don't know, like an epic journey ahead of us, I think, with today's subject matter.
Yes.
I think I was, I was maybe tagged in this post or something like that.
I'm trying to remember how I found it out, but I'll just start at the top.
We have an account on Twitter called AlphaMasculinity.
And I think the handle, I can't see it in the screenshot, but I think the handle was like AlphaMasculina and then... One.
AlphaMasculina1.
Yeah.
That's the password probably too.
It says...
It says, why women shouldn't ride horses, bikes, or bicycles?
Thread.
And then there's the thread emoji.
There's nothing less sexy than the thread emoji.
My pussy dries up for a year every time I look at that damn thread emoji.
Shut the fuck up.
Just make one tweet.
One tweet is fine.
I think that might be the intention here.
Well, it worked!
I can't have sex anymore, like, for a year.
A calendar year.
The first edit said they couldn't be on Twitter either.
But then he figured out a way around that.
That's so good for him.
I'm so proud of this terrible, terrible, insane man.
Hey, buckle up, Annie Oakley, and turn those legs sideways, because we're about to take a ride.
Okay?
There's a there's a photo of a, you know, a buxom woman.
It kind of looks like a romance cover.
You know, she's got low cleavage on a horse, a big red, red skirt dress thing, you know, over the horse.
Very inappropriate in my, I already get what this guy is saying, frankly.
I mean, Alex, you might not know this, because you might, maybe you've never seen it before, but this woman's clearly climaxing in this picture.
You can see in her face, that's exactly what a woman looks like when they climax.
Yeah, she's worn red to mimic the fullness of an aroused pair of lips.
I doubt y'all have looked in the mirrors, because that's weird, but I've seen it.
It looks just like this.
It looks, that's exactly.
I've seen women climax.
I don't need to look in here.
It's hard, hard, hard.
She's going hard right now.
That's what I'm seeing right now.
By the way, I can't even see the first tweet in the thread because it is one of the ones, one of the many tweets in this thread that violated the Twitter rules.
It is gone forever.
I was gonna say, the immediate next tweet, this tweet violated the Twitter rules.
Immediate next tweet in the thread, this tweet violated the Twitter rules.
Which we all know are pretty, pretty Lenient.
They're pretty hostile.
Yes, they are.
Okay, so this guy follows a very specific type of guy on Twitter that posts about why something is very, very dangerous.
And then they post a thread, all pictures of women being very, very sexy doing said thing that they don't like.
It's a good genre.
It's a common type.
Yeah, it's a good genre.
I like them a lot.
I love to see a guy doing psychoanalysis on himself unwittingly in real time.
That's like my favorite genre of situation.
It is great because it is like, I mean, we're kind of jumping ahead or at least I'm like foreshadowing the entire tweet thread.
But he's using photos that are done for like Maxim magazine.
He's using photos that were taken by men Set up by men, most likely, and analyzing those as a cultural issue.
It's very much similar to fascists pulling up old Coca-Cola ads and being like, this is what they took from you.
It's so much the male gaze that the next picture is a man staring at a woman laying on the floor, like sexily.
It's so literally the male gaze.
And what's funny about this thing, too, Okay, let's keep it a buck fifty.
There are plenty of things to talk about when it comes to horse girls.
There are.
We talked about horse girls just recently.
They don't want to fuck a horse.
They want to be a horse.
They don't even really want to ride a horse.
We talked about this in the My Little Pony episode.
This is my grand unified theory of horse girls.
They don't want to ride a horse.
They certainly don't want to fuck a horse.
They want to be a horse.
That's why you see those little bitches scampering around on all fours in the cafeteria and shit.
I once had a shorty order a raw carrot at dinner.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Because she wants to be a horse.
A straight up on cut carrot.
No, that was because she was trying to impress you, a vegan.
She's like, what do I order?
Give me one raw carrot.
I don't want any water that was boiled next to meat or something.
Give me just a raw carrot.
No, no.
Because the first moment of meeting this person, she was like, I like horses.
And I was like, oh, that's not even on topic.
I'm not kidding.
She's like, how was your day?
I was like, my day was good.
I did this, this, and this.
How are you?
She's like, I like horses.
I'm like, did you ride a horse today?
She goes, no.
It's just something you should know.
And I was like, all right.
Yeah, yeah.
She was preparing you for what was coming next, which was a saddle.
So let's hear why women shouldn't ride horses.
I mean, we might intuit some things on our own, but sometimes you have to be taught.
Most of them having multiple orgasms in these sessions.
The other ones are just too ashamed to admit it, but never too ashamed to stop it.
The number one reason is the sexual stimulation.
And then there's a photo of a woman in like a ballerina, what is that, like a leotard, throwing her hair back while riding a horse.
Amazing.
Women's genitals are directly in contact and stimulated by the bike, bicycle seat, horse's back, slash saddle.
The bike being a mega vibrator.
The road and general movements when riding a bicycle.
We love the road and general movements while riding a bicycle.
I'm sorry.
I've ridden a bicycle before.
It's not sexy.
It kind of hurts your crotch, no?
Yeah, it hurts your crotch.
Gets your right smack in the crotch.
Yeah, it's not fun.
I mean, I get what he's saying, but that's not possible.
I don't really believe that's happening all the time.
Also, A lot of women can't orgasm at all.
You think we're just having multiple orgasms while riding a horse?
But just on the horse and just on the bike.
Not with a man who has a proper masculine frame.
Just with the horse.
No, I always run into that.
I always find that women are just coming way too much and way too often.
I find that.
It's just embarrassing at some point, probably.
Way too much.
It's like, yo, chill.
Yeah, women do be coming.
It's like, yeah, all the time.
So I mean, yeah.
But it's funny.
I've worked in cycling for a long time.
Oh, here we go.
Here's an unbiased take from Tony Boswell.
Let's hear it.
What's funny about that is, like, one of the biggest issues, if you don't, like, wear the proper equipment, if you're not wearing, if you're not wearing, like, a cami, like, the padding, like, numbness for all across the board, regardless of genitals, is an issue if you're not wearing the proper equipment.
If you don't have the right shorts and you're not using the right saddle, like, numbness is a byproduct.
And it's not because it's coming a ton.
It's because it's causing, like, nerve damage and doing, like, the opposite of what you're saying.
Sounds bad.
So, I'm not saying don't ride bikes.
I'm saying ride bikes with the right equipment is totally worth it.
The photo selection here on this one with the flannel shirt, and I don't know what kind of pants those are, but they look great on her.
I mean, those are those classic TikTok pants that are always advertised to us ladies that go straight up the butt to really accentuate.
Yeast infection pants, I call them.
Does it have that cinch?
Yeah.
Like scrunchie little scrunchie?
I think they have a little scrunchie thing on the back.
These are probably sold as riding leggings.
Yes.
And the obvious rhythmic movements and aggressive touch of genital area during horse riding.
Obviously.
That's the least good phrase I've ever heard.
The aggressive touch of genitalia?
Never type that!
That's like how you destroy your keyboard is by using it to type that in English.
I get it.
This guy's never been with a woman.
He's never been with other people.
Has he met people?
It's interesting.
Or abandoned human society?
Yeah, we're going to get to his actual work that's like, you know, he's a published author.
We're going to hear from something that doesn't have anything to do with still its form of publishing.
Yes, yes.
He has been with one woman and that woman only voted me for his cowgirl and insisted that he like clack these coconuts together.
And he was scarred forever.
Like Monty Python?
Yeah, she was into the Monty Python movie.
So she insisted he did that and that's what he's referring to.
That's he thinks all women have sex always.
He's right.
Everywhere on social media where you come across horse girls, or yeah, there's a horse emoji, horse rider emoji, they will always portray their relationships with their horses as sexual slash romantic.
This is to be expected since the horse slash act sexually stimulates them, and they also care for these horses, getting completely obsessed in the process.
He doesn't need to make a thread.
I love it when we get a 13-tweet thread about how obsessed other people are about horses.
Right.
Exactly.
He's right, though.
This does happen on very particular websites.
Yeah.
That he is choosing to type into the URL and visit.
That's not our problem.
This will happen with certain algorithms for sure.
He's not being completely hyperbolic here.
I mean, there is a thing called pony play, but like, it's a very specific thing.
Yeah, he's, yeah, he's only seen, yeah, this is all a result of his algorithm.
You know that meme where it's like women love dressing up their son to look like the man who left them?
Yeah, yeah.
And it's like making your son into a hypebeast or whatever.
Yeah.
Like I'm imagining a woman doing that with a horse.
Like putting like a fitted cap on him and like, yeah, maybe some, some dunks or like some, some Tom's shoes.
A supreme saddle.
A supreme saddle.
Yes.
Wow, these women, they just can't stop projecting.
It's obvious looking at this horse with a hockey jersey on.
The horse is also very large, strong, muscled, powerful, and yes, packing.
He wants to fuck the horse.
He wants to fuck the horse.
You can't say it's packing.
So badly.
He wants to fuck the horse as he's typing.
His dick is just throbbing as he talks about this horse.
This is the, I think you should leave skit.
Where the wife is like, wow, look at that package.
He's like, I don't want to ride anymore.
I'm too ashamed now.
Yes, that's that skit.
Small penis stallions.
You need them.
So funny.
Talking about another comedy show, why don't we take a tip from Nathan for you, where they allowed heavier riders to ride horseback by putting giant balloons attached to them to help support the weight on the horse.
If we do that with women, there won't be as much contact between the pelvis and the saddle.
There won't be as much aggressive contact of the genitalia.
Aggressive touch of the genitals, yeah.
We should also make them think about baseball while they're riding horses.
Well, that's different for women.
It's different for women.
We are turned on by baseball.
I am in no way turned on by baseball.
Those players are the ugliest motherfuckers in all of sports.
Chill.
Chill, God.
Chill, God.
Chill.
Calm down.
You're going to need to relax real quick.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I was speaking for all of them, but I meant I am turned on by baseball, so that wouldn't work for me.
I did just see someone who I thought was really cute without their hat on for the first time, and I was like, oh, that's a bummer.
It can be a bummer.
But I love him, so I won't speak out on his name.
But yeah, there's some mad cuties in baseball.
Yeah, they got some cute little butts.
There's a lot of bad facial hair in baseball.
The worst haircuts.
It's the worst haircuts.
Yeah.
The Jock Hawk still lives in grown men in MLB.
Yeah, that's the thing.
They seem to be a little older than most other professional sports players, too.
But they're not.
A lot of them who look like they're in their 30s are in their 20s.
Well, they are living hard, then.
Yeah, they're living rough.
I feel like I could have helped bring the average up if I hadn't had a career in podcasting.
Oh, no, I'm committing my time to going to the batting cages.
If Kevin Costner can do it, I can do it.
That's a great idea.
I'm going to become a DH or a pitcher or something.
I'm going to do one season in the MLB, walk on at 37.
I'm 35 right now.
I just got to commit.
I can do that.
You're going to cost her.
If you listen to the main feed, you'll hear that I was told I was an athlete my whole life, and it's time for me to really step up to the plate.
Literally.
Okay, more from this one tweet.
Yes, they're packing.
The horses are packing, folks.
Sorry if you didn't know.
That's what's going on at these freaky deaky ranches.
It acts as a sort of masculine figure women fall in love with and are sexually attracted to.
The horse almost always becomes a platform for sexual validation.
Once again, you want to fuck the horse, sir.
The rest of that tweet did not make you sound less like you want to fuck the horse.
If I had a nickel for every time I'd fallen in love with a horse, I'd have zero nickels.
I don't like horses.
They scare me.
Yeah, you're particularly afraid of horses.
Am I gay?
Is that what that means?
Maybe, maybe.
I think that this man is scared that another man one day is going to walk up to his partner and just pick her up and take her away and just carry her away.
And he's like, I can never carry her.
But he also knows he can never carry the people he's attracted to.
But there is a man who might be a horse.
Who can not only carry them and ride them around, but also might have a giant wiener.
Alpha Masculinity says, I will post links with evidence at the very end.
I write this as another red pill of female nature that husbands and father must swallow for the betterment of their marriages and society.
I care for my fellow brethren.
It is the very reason this account exists.
Did you guys look at the evidence?
Yes!
Okay, the evidence is right here in this tweet.
It says, here is some support for my claims.
And it is a list of seven different Quora questions.
Quora is something we talked about.
We've talked about it, you know, a couple times over the three or four years.
We talked about it pretty recently.
It's where dudes go to ask questions from other dudes who consider themselves like self-taught intellectuals.
It's where Jordan Peterson Like first started making a name for himself outside of just his professional, you know, at whatever university he taught at Toronto, I think, but it's where he made a name for himself was like helping men on Quora, you know, using Jungian psychology to answer their questions about, you know, thinking they were getting cheated on by their spouse or whatever.
So it's, it's wonderful that this guy used these just to begin with as, as his citations.
I'm going to click the first one.
Okay, this is a Quora question that asks, can girls orgasm from riding horses?
During the ride, are they sitting on their hips or their vagina?
Does a vagina of a girl rub enough against the horseback to make her horny or give her orgasm?
How do bodies, what are their bodies like?
What part of the horse's back would go inside of a vagina?
There's no lumps there.
No, I'm thinking about this way too much.
This is just a person who's never seen a body.
No, you think they understand the difference between a vagina and like a labia.
I was thinking that.
No, that sucks.
So to answer this question about whether women orgasm while they're riding horses, Tony Smith answers, my wife has been involved with horses for most of her life and gets very coy when I ask her this question.
Men want to know, women, all right?
We need to know.
No, the answer is no.
No.
Keep me away from a horse.
They're too big.
I have chatted to others, though, and there is definitely some truth.
I've chatted to other guys.
We all say the same thing.
So your girlfriend fucks the horse, right?
And they're all at this little coffee clutch, like, yeah, yeah, she definitely does.
She definitely does.
He goes on to describe how, oh, if you're leaning forward, naturally part of your body would come in.
Like, he's just guessing.
He's just guessing.
So that's the first link.
The second one is another Quora question.
Has any female had an orgasm while riding a bareback horse?
Emily Catry replies, Actually, yes I have.
I have been riding horses for a while now and the first time I had an orgasm on the back of the horse was trying out riding the horse bareback.
It was really strange as I rode around for a bit before happening.
I felt the buildup in my groin area, but dismissed it as the feel of riding a horse this way.
After a while, I felt myself trembling a bit.
My crotch area was a bit wet, and I knew what was happening.
I held it in for as long as I could, but when riding the horse through a fast section of the course, it happened.
I fell off the horse, squirting a tremendous amount on the inside of my pants.
No!
No!
Wait, it gets better.
Let me finish.
I lay there for a while, releasing the liquid and shuddering for a bit.
My superiors came over, a bit red in the face and laughing a bit.
They said, not to worry, it can happen.
I lay there for a while releasing the liquid and shuddering for a bit.
My superiors came over a bit red in the face and laughing a bit.
They said not to worry.
It can happen.
It's happened to me a few times.
And that was it.
That is a man.
Her name was Emily Catry.
It's Emily Catfish is what she should be called.
And that is not true.
That's a, that's a Litterotica.
That's not.
I mean, let's do some investigation here.
I'm clicking on Emily Catry's profile.
I am 20 years old now and I'm a zoophile and I'm just answering questions for people.
Okay.
Her pinned answer is.
So normal shit.
Have you, yeah.
Have you experienced bestiality?
Yes, I have.
When I was 15 or so, and then I'm not going to read the rest of it, obviously.
Nope.
Nope.
Geez.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So just really normal stuff that like, my trainers are like, oh yeah, all the time.
Oh, you're, you're a woman now.
Yeah.
You busted while riding the horse bareback.
You're a woman now.
Everyone knows it happens.
But I did, I did see her book on the, on the theme table.
Unhinged women.
Celebrate unhinged women.
Right next to Night Bitch, it was called Nightmare.
Oh my god!
There is a character in My Little Pony called Nightmare.
Oh, and now she's ruined.
Let's know, we gotta defend My Little Pony.
So yeah, I love this guy being like, don't worry, all right, all you naysayers, I have evidence to back it up.
- Face hairs. - I have evidence to back it up.
Here it is.
It's a man posing as a 15-year-old girl fucking a horse, okay?
Great evidence.
No further questions.
So, I was fascinated by this guy.
I was like, this guy rocks.
He obviously knows so much about women.
He's got such interesting thoughts about them.
Let me see what he's about.
Oh, turns out he has a manifesto.
Turns out he has his own work, okay?
I mean, maybe the thing is not enough of us have manifestos.
Maybe that's the problem.
True.
Sure, yeah.
Let the marketplace decide which manifestos are worthy.
Yeah.
Okay, so he writes as Alpha Masculinity on his blog, and that's how he is published, on his self-published 11-page book called Reigniting the Fire of Your Masculinity.
I wonder why he doesn't use his own name.
I think that is his real name, obviously, Alpha Masculinity.
That's what his mom named him.
Yeah, she was like, this baby is such a muscular alpha.
I have to honor him.
I assume.
After his dad left, his mom changed his name to Alpha Masculinity.
His dad definitely is left to the picture or something.
No, from the backstory, he talks shit on his own mom for divorcing his dad.
My dad is so sick.
I don't know why my mom would leave my dad.
My dad is so sick.
My dad's such a pimp.
I don't know why she would do that.
He's so cool.
I'm just going to read this one little paragraph from Alpha Man at Masculinity's backstory.
For some reason, even as a young boy growing up, I could feel it was wrong.
I could feel it slicing at my masculine pride.
I saw it on movies, read it in stories, heard the jokes, quote, happy wife, happy life.
It always gives me an irritated, angry feeling in my stomach.
Seeing men, image bearers of God, being told what they are allowed and not allowed to do.
Washing dishes to keep the TV-watching wife happy.
Disgusting.
Disgusting!
This guy got so mad at the idea of a happy wife that he gave himself diarrhea, is what that is telling me.
All that stuff about the nodding in his stomach and the bowel irritation.
Also, you weren't doing dishes then, dude.
Why weren't you doing dishes, my bro?
That's a good point.
You were so mad that your dad was doing dishes, go do the dishes for your dad.
Yeah, that's a weird gripe.
The guy washing dishes for his TV-watching wife.
You let my mom take a load off for a minute?
That's fucking bullshit.
Sounds like she cooked dinner.
That's an arrangement I'm very familiar with.
The person who cooks dinner does not wash the dishes.
From what I hear, Dad cooked, cleaned, kept the house, and the whole time she was just riding horses.
And watching TV.
She would ride her bicycle down to the ranch, ride horses all day long, come back at the middle of the night, On her bicycle.
Slipping everywhere.
Just slipping everywhere.
It's just a snail trail behind the bike.
A real problem.
Dad's got to mop up after her.
I have to see this?
She got an extension cord for the shower nozzle in the bathroom, and she would just tie it around her waist and shove it down the front of her pants when she ever had to stay at home.
Just walk around with that thing blasting.
What was I gonna say?
Oh yeah, it sickens.
You know, you see this shit everywhere.
You see it all the time.
You're driving down the road and you see a bumper sticker that says, Daddy farted and we can't get out.
And it's like, just another way of emasculating and demeaning men.
You know, why is it a problem that I'm farting in the car?
Men should not be ashamed of their smell.
They should be proud.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's why we turn the heaters up.
Turn the heater up when I let one go.
Okay, reignite your masculine fire.
The three most common negative behavioral aspects killing your masculinity.
Written by Alpha Masculinity.
But yeah, the three most common negative behavioral aspects.
So the first one is emotional control.
We live in a time where the majority of men are feminized, absolutely head over heels in love with their personalities.
Personality, feminine trait.
Yeah, is it gay to have a personality?
Yes.
Do you like who they are now?
Ugh.
Dancing for attention with the hopes of someone validating their existence.
They overly laugh at every little thing just to ease the social suffering of others or just plainly to gain attention.
Quote, look, I laughed at your joke.
I'm cool, right?
Jesus fucking Christ.
Has this guy ever smiled?
Like, has this guy ever had a nice evening?
This is like the logical extent or the logical conclusion of the idea of virtue signaling.
Oh, you laughed at his joke.
Wow.
You're such a good person.
I'm imagining him like at a party with mixed genders, you know, which is probably already wrong.
And, you know, a guy laughs at someone's joke and he's just there immediately.
Like, where is your masculine fire?
Shut the fuck up and stop talking to people.
Yeah, get on the floor, give me 20 frowns.
That wasn't as funny as Louis C.K.
That wasn't that funny, why are you laughing?
Not a professional comedian.
Also, has this guy tried ever not just projecting?
Tried not projecting for five seconds?
Dude, this whole thing... Just be a little bit creative.
Just a tiny bit creative.
You might cover some more bases.
It reads as somebody...
15 year old maybe thinking that they're the first person to analyze social interactions or analyze or like think about their own behavioral traits.
It was only by reading his backstory that he is at least out of college.
So I was like worried when I was reading through this to be honest I was like fuck are we about to like roast a 15 year old for His basically, his like Zanga here.
I feel kind of bad about that.
And then I read the backstory.
He's talking about like relationships in high school and then relationships in college.
And I'm like, okay, he's just severely stunted.
Maybe he graduated from high school at 14?
Maybe college was early?
You think that's a boy genius?
I don't think that he's a genius.
I don't think that's a boy genius.
I think that's a boy fuck up.
I mean, we're not done yet.
You're right, you're right.
We're getting to the genius part.
It's number two.
Get your thumbs off the scales, lady.
Let the listeners decide here, okay?
A framed man validates his own existence.
So that's his theory.
He's piggybacking off this other guy who has a theory.
His book is called The Wall Speaks, and it's about how men are supposed to comport themselves in order to reestablish their own masculinity.
Jere, Jerej.
Yeah, Jerej.
Which is a made up name.
Jere, J-E-R-R, Rej, R-R-E-J.
It's just a... Oh, oh, sick!
It's a race car?
It's a race car?
It's a race car.
Whoa!
Wow, it's a stat cat?
Wow!
So that guy's name is Jerry, right?
And he's just like barely disguising him.
He's like, what do I call myself?
What do I call myself on my red pill gumroad?
Booklet, I know they'll never figure out who I am if I just call myself Jare with both R's and no Y. Which I went to Jare's Twitter just to see some of his tweets.
They're really good.
They are amazing.
But I don't know.
know i think my favorite one is no book written by a man should use the word essence he's so right - Leave that word to bad writers and women.
Well, there goes my book about Essence Fest.
Take that, Essence Magazine.
My favorite tweet from his is the one where it looks like it's a photo from Hannibal.
You know, the prestige cannibal show with what's his face?
What's the actor's name?
Mads Mikkelsen.
Yeah, Mads Mikkelsen.
It's him sitting at a dinner table, like looking blankly into the camera.
You know, because he's a psychopath in the show.
I don't know if you're familiar with the idea of Hannibal.
But yeah, it's a photo of him and it says, a man's emotional distance is the fragrant scent at the banquet table of love.
Distance pulls a woman towards a man and keeps her interested in her innate craving.
I do have a lot of interest in Hannibal Lecter and his cannibalistic lifestyle, so he's got me there.
I imagine saying the word essence is too gay, but using the phrase fragrant scent.
Fragrant scent at the banquet table of love.
You know what he should have said?
Essence.
He should have just used the word essence for fragrant scent.
He's taken that word out of his mind completely.
He cut out that part of his brain, so he can't use that word.
What do you think this guy smells like?
He's also got a thread defending himself from accusations of psychopathy about how his theory is quite literally psychopathic, trying to breed the characteristics of a psychopath.
But our boy Alpha Masculinity does a good job of that on his own, so I think I'm going to let his stuff speak to the overall theory.
He is a disciple of Jare Rej.
He is trying to build off of Jare Rej.
Off of Jare theory.
Yeah, he's Jare-pilled here.
Okay.
A framed man validates his own existence.
He is certain of himself.
He believes in himself, and he doesn't need any attention.
He hides his, quote, true self behind walls and kills his personality.
Yep.
Whoa!
Totally healthy.
Totally mentally healthy.
How does he do this?
Emotional control.
His personality is his enemy.
So he holds back the laugh, the tear, the excitement, the fear, the anger.
His emotion is low and cold.
He works with logic and rationality.
I love working with logic and rationality.
Both of which requires, both of which requires, I love doing logic where both things requires things.
Low emotion.
Logical and rational decisions cannot be made in a state of emotion.
And to be an effective leader, provider, and protector, a man must make rationality and logic his best friends.
Emotional control does not mean, quote, bottling up emotions until he one day explodes.
No.
He's like, I've tried that.
It doesn't work.
Listen, I know what you're saying.
I know what you guys are thinking.
But JerReg or Alpha or whoever the fuck we're talking to.
Yeah, this is Alpha Masculinity.
Yeah, he's obviously like, I know what you're thinking, you know, spousal abuse or whatever.
No, those guys, they weren't, they were just hiding their, they were bottling up their emotions.
They weren't killing their emotions.
They weren't taking their emotions behind the shed and putting some buckshot in the store.
Jared Rez has never had a concussion.
Emotional control does not mean bottling up emotions until he one day explodes.
No, such a man has no emotional control.
He just holds on to emotions, making space for them in his mind, storing them, thinking about them, feeling them, using them to react.
This is not control.
Real control means a man looking at the emotion through a rational lens and deciding to do away with it.
He desynthesized... I looked this up.
Yeah, what was that?
No, this is on purpose.
Desynthesizes, not desensitizes, although I thought it was a typo, but like, he uses the same word over and over again.
It's, yeah, it's not desynthesizes, it's not desensitizes, it's desynthesizes.
Yeah, he put a lisp in there.
Why'd he write a lisp?
It's a very, like, it's a very tax avoidion kind of word.
To make it sound more scientific?
Yeah, I think it's like, I'm not synthesizing, I'm desynthesizing.
Synthesizing is just like creating a different thing through chemical change, so yeah.
Oh, that's an actual word?
S-E-N?
Synthesizing?
Oh no, synthesizing.
So I don't know what synthesizing is.
He's not using a real word.
He's using a fake word.
And desynthesizing is absolutely nothing.
It's double wrong, yeah.
I mean, yet, yet, in this universe.
I think it's like, the charitable one is like, oh, he's using Scientology-type created language for his theory.
Yeah, yeah, totally, totally, exactly.
Maybe Jare Wedge uses this word.
Maybe.
He desynthesizes himself to emotions.
He doesn't care for them.
He lets them float into the abyss, unaltered and unfazed.
That's so scary!
He's always in control.
That's the scariest shit I ever heard.
Yeah, a lot of people are scared of being free.
I'm scared of a man who looks at emotions as something to be released into the abyss.
What is going on in that psyche?
The abyss?
And he says it's not bottling them up.
No, but it is very much compartmentalizing them.
I do not understand the difference.
No, he's just getting rid of them.
I'm not using mason jars.
I'm going to the container store.
It's different.
Ways to practice this?
Breath control has always been a very effective method.
From controlling laughter to anger, even to controlling orgasms.
I think he means orgasms.
Maybe, I don't know.
I shouldn't speak for him.
No, he definitely means orgasms.
When emotions rise, immediately become aware of them.
Hold them right there.
Take a deep breath and throw them into the abyss.
No, I'm not gonna do that.
Bust?
Is he saying bust?
Wait, that's confusing.
Throw them onto the garbage pile in the middle of the ocean.
Let them float away.
Because I thought for sure he was saying, don't bust, but then at the end he sounded like he said bust.
For sure.
No, don't bust.
I'm really confused about what to do.
You're not supposed to.
Semen retention.
He gets the semen retention.
So don't throw them away?
Well, emotions, not cum.
Throw them away into the abyss inside of you.
I mean, clearly, I got a lot of work to do with this, so... Don't bottle them up.
It's clear.
It's super clear.
I don't know why you're getting lost here.
Yeah, I got a lot of work to do.
I'm doing the work, though.
You're no Jer Reg.
I'm taking notes.
I'm going to listen back to this, pause it, take notes, you know, do an inventory of myself and letting go, you know?
Jir Reg has a tweet where he asked how many times people had read his book.
Oy vey.
That is very sad.
One, two, three, or four.
Sorry.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you could re-listen to this, I'm sure.
To control the other negative emotions, like sadness, a man must control his uplifting emotions.
A framed man knows for every up, there is an equal down.
I mean, I knew that.
I'd have to take fucking Jer Reg's book to know that for every up, there is a down.
Yeah, obviously.
I know about Newton's law of gravity, sir.
Yeah.
Following laughter is a bucket full of tears.
A bucket?
So do not give in to laughter if you want to control sadness and tears.
Do not give in to excitement if you want to avoid despair.
Control the high to gain control over the low.
Be cold in emotion.
So just a mids life is what you want.
Yeah.
This guy must have his asshole so tightly clenched every second of the day, just trying to focus on the middle group.
What, he's not supposed to laugh?
That's the deal?
You may not like it, but this is what peak male performance looks like.
And it's a photograph, it's like a medical diagram of somebody who's had a lobotomy.
I don't think this guy knows that, like, Monks enjoy nature.
Yeah.
They experience joy and love and pleasure.
That's not aesthetic enough for me, bro.
Yeah.
No joy.
You have to not do anything.
They must crash, too.
You can only fall if you go up, so don't do it.
Don't feel anything good.
He never really describes what the upside of all this is.
I guess you're supposed to come into this thinking that reigniting your masculine fire is its own upside, but everything he's saying so far sounds really bad.
You can't even do anything with it.
Right.
He does near the end talk about the upside of it.
Yeah, that sounded bad too.
I mean, we'll get to it.
The whole thing just sounds like, you know, eliminate everything that's good about your life.
And it seems like half.
Half political project and half pickup artistry.
Yeah, yeah.
It seems like a half way, he's going kind of back and forth between those two.
Yeah.
Some ways a man can practice desynthesizing, so he spells it correctly here, desynthesizing himself to emotion, is by what I learned in The Wall Speaks called desynthesizing therapy.
Jesus Christ.
Here, a man purposely puts himself into the situation that makes him afraid.
The situations that makes him afraid.
Want to laugh or brings tears to his eyes.
Exposure therapy.
Yeah.
Swallows these emotions or does away with them.
Practicing immediacy in his emotional control.
Think funny videos slash comedies.
Sad videos slash movies.
Horror stories slash movies.
Practice holding a poker face.
Keeping heart rate low and being cold in emotion.
Yeah, it's really good for you.
Oh, don't laugh challenge?
Challenge accepted.
Yeah, done.
Oh, I failed.
You just failed, Rax.
You just failed.
I don't want to be whatever kind of guy this is.
This doesn't seem like my thing.
A framed guy.
Yeah.
Also, the title, The Wall Speaks, was that like, hey, you're talking to a wall?
And it's like, yeah, I know.
Yeah.
But if you listen to the wall, the wall speaks.
I'm gonna put on a fucking iFunny 10-hour compilation of videos and just stare at it.
Just not express any emotion, no matter how many times I see Peter Griffin falling down and rubbing his leg.
Listen, brother, I think you're ready.
I think you're ready for the Chive Challenge.
You guys are both looking really framed right now.
You're not, like, smiling or whatever.
Yeah.
I watched about an hour of Chive TV this morning in no climax, so...
Didn't laugh one time at one blooper.
What, not one blooper?
Wow, you semen retented really well.
Yep, didn't crack.
Which is why their voices are so low.
Yeah, exactly.
The next, okay, so here's the next thing that dudes fuck up when they try to be masculine.
Okay, this one I agree with.
This is called, there's some points, points are made.
Expression control.
Overexpression, which in the case for a man is more than being just an amused stone, is done by men in order to gain the light of attention and for seeking validation from others.
Wow.
This is the first time he says amused stone and he does not explain it for a little while.
He just expects me to know what that is and it sounds crazy!
It sounds like, have you guys seen Everything Everywhere All at Once?
Yeah.
It's that.
It's at the end.
Those are amused stones.
Ironically, I think that those stones had even less expression.
When I'm picturing an amused stone, I'm seeing like a smirking face or whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah, the Everything Everywhere All at Once, those rocks, they just had googly eyes.
Like they didn't even have an expression.
I'm saying they were more framed.
They were framed men.
They were more framed.
Yeah.
But they were women, and so you won't hear this guy address that, that women can also be framed.
Women can be framed men.
That is part of the dialectic, and everyone should know.
That would probably make him so angry hearing that statement.
I know.
Good.
That would be so good.
I hope he explodes with anger and all his bottled up anger just sprays everywhere.
You can't say that!
You can't say that!
This bitch!
It's not true!
It's not true!
Wow, women would really rather travel to a universe where they have hot dogs for fingers than have a traditional heterosexual marriage.
You know, that's why they go to that universe, right?
Yeah.
The masculine fingers that they get.
Yeah.
Fingers that are kind of like dicks or whatever.
But floppy.
Rendering us useless.
Just ask all the hot dog finger girls why they're doing it and watch them act quiet about it, you know?
Okay.
Overexpression, which in the case for a man is more than being just an amused stone, is done by men in order to gain the light of attention.
Gain the light of attention and seek validation and for seeking validation from others.
Quote, I laughed at your joke and cried crocodile tears in the movie with everyone.
So I deserve your validation.
Again, very weird.
Like this guy sounds already like he's got a real problem with emotions and expressing them.
And he's like jealous of other people who have, who can express emotions.
Oh, wow.
It was a smiles club over there.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
I just don't understand if he's not about gaining attention, then why is he on Twitter?
Yeah, or writing.
Or writing.
Writing manifestos.
The very definition.
His next point.
Yeah.
This guy watched The Notebook with someone, and she didn't let him hit, and he's just been real mad since.
Yeah.
He's like, I fucking cried.
I cried for you, bro.
No?
And then she made fun of me for fake crying to The Notebook?
Should have been framed.
Should have been framed.
I laughed at your joke and cried crocodile tears in the movie with everyone, so I deserve your validation.
I deserve for you to make me certain of my own existence.
What in the shit?
This is utter weakness.
No woman would want such a protector.
Trust me, I know.
How do you know?
I don't believe you.
Sorry.
The goal is to be an amused stone, showing about one-tenth of a normal expression.
So measure your normal Take a fucking protractor, take a compass, and like, do the angles on your normal smile.
Do about 10% of that.
Is this right?
I know, I'm trying to do it too, I'm not getting it right.
Make sure the person who you give the least expression to is the person who you love the most.
The person who you want to spend your life with, don't let that light out.
Because you have a finite amount of joy and you want to spend the rest of your life with them.
So you want to give them a tiny bit of joy.
But what I like to do is I like to wait until they're sleeping to let that out.
So just do that.
Just stay stoic.
Don't express it.
Pretend you're semen.
Yeah, exactly, exactly, yeah.
Withhold, be a withholding dad.
And just keep getting her those Buicks every five years.
The goal is to be an amused stone, showing about one-tenth of a normal expression.
Think slight smirk over childish grin.
A quick and subtle, hmm, instead of a, wow, really?
I love that line.
What conversation is this where he would be yelling wow really in the first place?
I'm going up to my oh did you hear about the the black hole they were able to photograph for the first time and the you know the virgin over here is wow really so exciting and then but the chat is like A black hole, you say?
Imagine being in a conversation and there's a guy somewhere in the conversation doing his little one-tenth of a facial expression, making hmm sounds and retenting his semen all over the fucking place.
That's a horrible situation.
I would worry that I'm about to get shot.
Yeah, it's bad.
That's coming out sometime.
He's gonna cum himself, or he's gonna go psycho mode and kill a whole post office full of people.
Like, one of the two.
But the thing is, I will say, what he's saying to do is not cool, but also what he's warning against, I think, is also fine.
He can go ahead and warn against, like, the extra cap guy, the guy that's all cap, just like, Just kind of going too hard on the agreeing with people, people pleasing, just trying to be... You know, you can warn against that a little bit, but the opposite's not it either, bud.
Because I think these dudes, I think the pickup artists go the opposite route.
They go like, uh...
Peacock.
They like clap and laugh and say, Oh, you're so funny.
No, you're not supposed to tell a woman she's so funny.
You're supposed to say you're funny for whatever.
I'm not done yet.
Sorry.
Oh, you're so funny.
I guess I like still hang out with you even though you're not that pretty.
Yeah.
And then see, that's what that guy does.
And he like, see, like, they're all like the pieces of shit act that way.
And like, he just going the opposite way, I guess.
Yeah.
This is very strange.
Be stoic, bro.
It really reminds me of, like, being a teenager and not being happy with how you are acting.
Like, you yourself are acting.
And, like, making a checklist for your own actions.
Like, don't fucking laugh at everything, bro.
You're being annoying.
Right?
Too loud.
You're way too loud.
You need to relax.
Like, that's me.
Don't allow others to manipulate you emotionally in order to get an expression out of you so they can gain attention and validation.
See, this really reads to me like he's done a lot of soul-searching about his own problems.
Someone tells him a joke and he's just standing there, stony-faced, cross-armed, making a hmm.
Can't get me.
Yeah.
Can't make me laugh.
That's good.
That's a good joke.
Yeah, it is like, it is a weird sort of theory of energy.
It is like a weird, you know, oh, you're giving energy or you're giving validation to these people by smiling or by laughing at their jokes.
The same way, like, you're giving energy to harlots when you have one night stands or whatever.
So you only have so many spoons of joy.
Oh, God!
Spoon theory for masculinity.
That's exactly what it is.
It's like, sorry I can't laugh at your dumb ass broad joke.
I'm out of spoons today, okay?
I also hope to like, you know, own a small business one day and I want to express the joy there.
I want to have a cool car one day.
I want to express joy there.
When I give my daughter away after, you know, dating her for 18 years, I want to express joy there.
You know?
Don't allow others to manipulate you emotionally in order to get expression out of you so they can gain attention and validate.
Yeah, this is like, isn't there like a theory?
I don't know what school of thought it comes from, but like energy vampires, like people who require too much from you.
This almost seems like an alpha version of that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's funny because there's truth to that, but you're just doing it all wrong, dude.
Yeah, people can be a little selfish with energy, but you're still going about it all wrong, my guy.
Relax, there's a good place to be.
There is something to it.
Don't fake energy.
Don't fake being happy or excited or mad at something.
Because it does, like, take energy from you to do that.
Don't waste energy doing that.
But don't fake not having emotions.
That's not the answer.
That's also a dream!
Isn't there, like, so much science?
Yeah, exactly.
Isn't there so much science backing, like, the health benefits of laughter?
Yeah.
Like, actually?
This guy'll be damned if he's gonna do something healthy ever in his life.
Being healthy is not masculine at all.
No.
Being ripped is masculine, but don't be healthy.
Be ripped because of HGH and gnarly stuff, and eating raw meats, and killing your kidneys.
OK, last page on expression control, by which I mean the second page on expression control.
Hold in your tears and laughter.
Hold in words that want to be said, or opinions that want to be shared.
When speaking, do that.
Sorry.
When speaking, keep voice tone low, consistent, and controlled.
This reads like shit he's writing down on the palm of his hand.
Yeah, don't forget.
Keep voice tone low.
Keep voice tone low, consistent, and controlled.
When explaining, do not use a lot of hand, arms, or head movement, or many facial expressions.
This is anti-Italian.
This is anti-Italian!
This is anti-Semitic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
When in conversation, you know, oh, well, what do women like to call Italians?
What do we know?
Stallions.
Oh yeah, that's right, baby.
Those horses.
It all comes together.
Clear sign.
Yeah, he's just waving his glistening flanks around, you know, calling the women toward him.
It's cheap.
It's cheap and it's needy.
Yeah.
That was the first name of the podcast.
We were going to be the Italian Stallions, but then we then we changed to Minion Death Cult.
We thought it made more sense.
Yeah.
When in conversation, do not give in to the need to voice your opinion on matters or overly explain your points.
What would that look like?
Would it look like an 11 page booklet?
Do not be easily wowed or surprised.
Don't do that.
Every time you get wowed or surprised, pinch the head of your penis.
Until the surprise goes back in.
Wait, that doesn't say that.
That doesn't say that, right?
No, it doesn't.
It could, though, couldn't it?
I don't know.
It could say that.
It really goes to show you the state of our society when I can say stuff that sounds totally real.
We should sell, like, alpha hair shirts.
Like, alpha hair shirts.
Like, hey, listen, if you're being horny, put this shirt on.
All right, put the shirt on and do burpees.
Yeah, it should be horse hair.
Just men with no skin on their torsos anymore, but they're like, check it.
I'm all, dude, you're all scabbed up, bro.
Look at you.
You're pretty framed.
You look buff, but it's really just scabs underneath.
It has to be synthetic horse hair, because I'm not going to use real horse hair.
So it's going to be really awful.
Yeah, we're going to make lots of money off this.
You were a part of the episode, so don't worry.
You're gonna be- We're gonna get cut into the alpha horse hair torture device.
You're part of the IP now.
Tight.
Yes.
Yeah.
When being in competitive scenarios, don't act like a fool or arrogant.
Think of being a calm king, cool in emotion, and not easily impressed or phased.
And not like a dancing jester acting like a silly fool.
So this is just what he says in the mirror before he goes to a party, right?
Like, be a calm king.
Don't be a silly jester!
That's just how he cites himself up.
Remember last time when they called you a silly jester?
Do you remember that?
Don't let it happen again, man.
You're the calm king!
You're the calm king!
He walks into the room and he hears something that sounds like a little bell, and he's like, oh fuck.
Gotta avoid that at all costs.
Yeah, just like somebody tries to pass him a pie or something, he's like, I'm not touching that.
I'm not here to jest.
Mom, mom, finally, hey, do my shoes look long?
Do my shoes look long?
Do you think it was how long my shoes are?
Man, yeah, this is sad.
You did it again!
You acted the fucking jester!
They all saw you!
Your heels touched together while you were walking, you fucking idiot!
You know you gotta stay away from the fruit bowl.
You're gonna juggle every time.
You can't do it.
You can't do it.
He knocks it off the table, and he goes to reach for it.
He accidentally juggles.
He pulls his hands back.
He blacks out, his legs are just spinning plates.
I can't go back to the bowling alley.
Okay, finally, speech control.
This is the final thing that dudes fuck up when they're trying to be men.
I'm going to send this chapter to my boyfriends.
Speech control.
I think almost all podcasting boyfriends could use this chapter.
Yeah, this is really actually where it gets real.
I think just podcast boyfriends should, I think, as regular podcast dudes don't really have to.
Podcast boyfriends, however.
Yes.
So I'm going to go ahead and not, I'm going to go ahead and... So you're going to cut yourself out of responsibility for that one.
Speech control.
Talking is feminine eternal.
Talk is cheap.
Oh my god.
You know he thought he was going off with that one.
Talking is feminine eternal.
He sees that on a bumper sticker.
I want it on a shirt.
Yeah.
Talking is feminine eternal.
And the very next sentence is talk is cheap.
So yeah, obviously feminine.
Buddy, don't sell yourself short with a cliche.
You just said something so cool and profound right before it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He ruined it.
The more a man talks, the more value he loses, and the less his speech will be trusted or respected.
What the frick?
God damn it.
Fuck you, dude.
It's like one of those incantations, like it only works once you say it out loud, because he wrote these words, but he tricked you into saying them.
God damn it.
I didn't know this was where we were going with the lesson.
He deframed you.
That was Karate Kid style education.
Things are falling on the grenade for me there, bud.
I appreciate that.
Man, a framed man would be regarded as a, quote, great listener.
That's a weird take.
That's an interesting turn for this guy.
This guy doesn't sound like a good listener.
No.
He really doesn't.
He just wants to give the illusion of listening by not reacting and saying, hmm.
That's how you be a good listener, is you just say, hmm, instead of, wow, your co-worker said that?
Yeah.
A framed man would be regarded as a great listener.
He listens and has a low reaction to the speech, expression, and emotion of the speaker.
He uses short sentences and maintains mystery by not revealing everything or over-explaining.
He doesn't respond much.
He stays cold and blank.
Sounds like a great time!
Again, fucked vibes, this guy.
I love it.
He uses short sentences and maintains mystery by not revealing everything.
He doesn't respond much.
Be a dumbass.
That's how you be a man, is you just sit there and let the, what is it?
A wise man stays quiet and allows himself to be considered an idiot.
Mark Twain.
A wise man keeps his mouth shut and people think he's a fool.
I don't know, something like that.
Yeah, and then the true fool writes a manifesto and proves them correct.
Exactly.
I remember it as, uh, don't goof, stay aloof.
That's how I remember it.
It's an old, easy one.
Oh man, I would love to have this guy, I would love to sit down with this guy and pop on a little movie called A Goofy Movie.
Oh shit.
And have him explain to me all the ways in which Goofy is not masculine.
Goofy is not afraid, man.
Maybe he would be holding so much laughter.
He would be like... Maybe he didn't see the perfect cast.
Maybe he didn't finish the movie.
Maybe he thought they never saw Powerline.
Oh my god, that's why he's a jester instead of a calm king.
I imagine it would go like, we'll see how Max is slumped in his seat with his arms folded, not making eye contact with his dad, sort of a blank expression on his face, clear masculine traits.
He's doing that right, you know, take notes from Max.
Goofy, who's singing high hopes at the top of his lungs while his tongue flaps around and he's pulling his nose down and twisting his ears Brown, clearly overexpressing.
You need to keep those emotions.
When you mean to take the top of your head and twist it like a corkscrew, put your thumb down on a nail or something like that instead.
Another way I remember that one is, if you wanna fuck, don't ha-yuck.
It's another way I stay so cool.
Ultimate game theory.
It's a way I stay so cool.
I mean, Max- Alliteration is really a powerful tool.
He does hyuck at the end, and I think it's implied that he's gonna fuck Roxanne.
He does hyuck.
He does hyuck.
You rhymed again when you said that.
Yeah.
You can't stop those words from rhyming.
I try.
Okay.
Speech control consists of many aspects.
A framed man talks seldom, very little when he does, with wisdom, with authority.
Why does he sound like Yoda when he says this?
Because he had to minimize his speech in this one.
He had to go in.
He had to go Yoda on it.
Is there another one where he says, but typing doesn't count.
You can type all you want.
Typing is not speaking.
Pages and pages.
Typing is different.
Yeah.
Yeah, speech.
Seems like he's repeating himself.
I'm getting lost in this.
It does seem like he's repeating himself, which is so funny.
You're like, is this a joke?
Are you?
Is this a joke?
He's not doing speech control one bit right now.
Right.
Okay, I think this is the last paragraph I'll probably read from speech control.
Secondly, when a man does speak, he should speak very little and not over-explain.
This is why I thought I already read this paragraph.
He should use the minimum words necessary to get his point across and no more.
So the minimum words, no more, not even a single one that's above what you need to use.
Period.
And that's on period.
Spelled out, spelled out.
He should be using the least amount of words than anyone else at the table.
Creepy!
Okay, so I imagine during this a bunch of alpha males, alpha males, out framed males, sitting together at a table, just all not saying anything, staring at each other with little smirks saying, hmm.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Back and forth.
First one to talk has to eat the cookie.
Is it like a psyop trying to get alphas to shut the fuck up?
Is that what it is?
Talking is not cool.
Talking is not cool.
Hey, why talk when you can lift?
That would be good.
Yeah, talking is kind of sus, bro.
Yeah.
It's a feminine trait.
Talking is feminine traits for sure.
Feminine eternal.
It's feminine eternal.
His answer should be short and sweet.
Furthermore, he shouldn't try to talk over others or increase the tone of his voice to be heard.
That signals he is falling into and reacting to the frame of the person who talks over you.
This is why I open Carrie.
No words needed.
I'm going to whisper because I have a gun.
I'm going to whisper because I have a gun right now.
Stop talking when they do this and wait for them to shut up.
Then just continue where you left off.
Allow this once, then voice that you do not appreciate them talking over you like that.
Stay calm.
Don't get emotional.
If they do it again, just calmly remove yourself from the conversation.
This guy's been talked over a lot.
Yeah.
He's tried a lot.
Do not be angry.
Okay, this is actually the last paragraph.
This is the best one.
Lastly, a man's voice should be one of authority and confident stature.
Your voice should be a confident stature, for sure.
What the fuck does that mean?
What does any of it mean?
Honestly, if your voice is under 5'10", then why even talk?
When he speaks, people listen and enjoy.
Do they enjoy when this guy speaks?
I'm not convinced of that.
He must make sure that he speaks low and slow with very little alteration in his tone of voice.
He must also peek from his diaphragm with deep breaths to make his voice as deep as possible.
Parentheses.
Don't overdo this.
His speech shouldn't be quickened or hasty.
Taking his time to explain and have perfect speech when people talk too fast, they easily mix up their words, talk incorrectly and have a lower grade vocabulary.
One way a man can increase the deepness of his voice is by doing primal screams.
Love this.
Ah, best part.
Don't talk.
Don't talk.
Scream.
This will, this will help loosen some of the nervous and anxious buildup in his vocal cords.
Scream with some bravado and untamed, hand untamed, to get rid of any blockages.
Blockages?
Because he's been not bottling up his emotions, so... Yeah.
Also, practice sitting slash standing up straight when speaking.
Semen retention has also helped many men deepen their voices.
Buries that at the very end.
Not even its own sentence.
He just really wants that to go unnoticed, but I didn't unnotice it.
It's all I can think about.
It's so good.
You meet a guy and you're like, oh, poor thing.
Oh.
Oh, sweetie.
Do you need help with that?
Are you okay?
It can be medical.
We can help you.
For him to be like, you know, okay, you don't want to use words when you're out in public.
You know, you just go, you just do like little vocalizations like, hmm, hmm, hmm.
You don't want to be, you want to say the least amount as possible, but when you get home, you want to scream.
You want to scream as loud as you can.
So like your neighbors, you're never saying a word to them, to their faces.
But like, as soon as the door shuts, they just start screaming.
Screaming and like not coming.
Yeah, this guy's neighbors definitely think he's like a wolfman or something, because all he does is hoot and holler alone.
Doesn't talk.
There's a bunch of 19 and 23-year-old boys who are reading this, and their response to us being stoic when they're out with their friends is not talking, but always just being all like, Sheesh!
Let's go!
Sheesh!
That's their nod.
That's their being minimum.
That's their hmm.
Well, I think we learned a lot about alpha masculinity today.
I'm so glad that we read that and that he's not a minor, so I don't feel quite as bad.
Still a big weirdo.
Still a big weird guy.
Still a huge weirdo.
Yeah, any final thoughts on this pamphlet, on this manifesto?
I've absorbed all of it into my life already.
I am just chock full of semen, but not emotions.
I don't bottle those up.
And when there's a conversation happening, I go out of my way to be as silent and off-putting as possible, just to really amp up the masculine vibe.
And so far, it's going great for me.
My wife has divorced me.
I'm never gonna see my kid again.
Nice!
Very good.
So, five stars.
You know, I wanted to learn from the Master's Master, so...
I wanted to hear what Jare himself thought of his protege's work.
And he did tweet about it a few times, but my favorite one was, men, after reading AM, Alpha Masculinity's thread on horses, quote, my mom rides a horse.
It could not be true.
It could not be true.
Oh, man.
Oh no, maybe he's a horse baby.
I don't know.
That's where his mind went right away after reading that thread was his mom's.
Dude, I would be so bummed if my mom came.
Yeah.
I would just be so upset about that.
I hope the whole process of me coming into being was as uncomfortable as possible.
Just totally unpleasant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love, wow, that's like every Pupil's dream is to force your master to imagine his mom coming from a horse.
Yeah.
Right?
Truly, he's become the teacher.
The student has become the teacher with this one.
Having a mentor is all about forcing that mentor to imagine his mom coming on a horse.
That's what that relationship's all about.
Think about it.
It actually comes from the Greek word, mentor, which is like a centaur.
That's all I heard when you said mentor.
I was just thinking centaur the whole time.
But men, it's a marriage of men and centaur.
It is in fact that, yeah.
When you reach enlightenment, it's called being hooved.
You've been hooved.
Yeah, so don't let your wife, daughter, or mom ride a horse.
Yeah, also sheath your penis.
Also try to sheath your penis.
What?
I don't know.
I don't think we have time.
Just do more horse things.
Okay.
Tuck it into yourself and your own body.
Alpha shit.
Thank you, ladies, for joining us today.
Why don't you tell people about the show and where they can hear it?
You do it, Amber.
I'm sick of it.
Okay, sure.
Okay.
You can definitely hear us talk twice a week on Low Culture Boil, Low Culture Boil podcast.
You can find us at patreon.com slash lowcultureboil.
And we talk about trash culture that we love.
Last week, we talked about Atlantic City, and we did a two-parter on it.
So we do one episode a week for everyone, one for Patreons.
So if you want, if you listen and you want double, definitely join our Patreon.
We're also on Twitter at LowCultureBoil and Instagram And you can find me at Amber C. Rollo on everything.
And I'm Rax King Is Dead on everything, and I also wrote a book, and it's very much a book in the vein of unhinged women, so I think you should go buy it and read it.
Yeah, the book is called Tacky.
Do you have a specific online retailer you send people to?
No, I'd like to recommend Bookshop because it's usually as cheap as Amazon, but it supports independent bookstores instead of Amazon, so that's pretty Better.
I don't know.
Fuck Amazon.
Good.
I've never even heard of bookshop.com.
Bookshop.org.
Yeah.
Dot org.
Cool.
I'll put the link in the description.
Yeah, when you check out, they tell you how much of the cost of your purchase is going to a local independent bookstore who will fulfill the order.
It's pretty cool.
And you can choose what local bookstore you want it to donate to if you want to choose.
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's not a donation model.
I think how it works is that they contract with the bookstores to get the orders fulfilled, but nobody quote me on that.
It's just better than Amazon and bookshop.org.
Great.
Also, Low Court Reboil is one of the five shows I actually recommend to people as a child of the 90s, of a certain income bracket.
Y'all hit it on the head all the time, and I fucking love it.
It's so good.
Thank you.
It's so good.
It's such a fun, especially, like, all, everything I listen to is, like, sometimes, because I listen to all, like, the homies, you know, and sometimes it's just, like, so serious, and, like, it's such a fun, nostalgic, also critical, like, really fun, things that we all know, that we all, like, know and remember, and it's really, it's a good time.
I really love that show.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a good show.
I love that show.
Definitely.
Thank you everybody for supporting the show.
As you know, you probably know this already, but you can follow us at MinionDeathCult on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
I am at flieldy, F-L-I-E-L-D-Y on Twitter.
Tony is at WordIsBond.
On Twitter, thank you so much for helping us raise money for abortion access and thank you ladies as well for helping us do that.
Reminder, we're still selling the stickers.
The one specifically says, Choose Life, Stay Out of My Uterus.
It's available at MinionDeathCult.com and we are donating all the proceeds from that to the same abortion access funds.
We have plenty of other stickers on there as well.
All pretty high quality stuff for a very reasonable price.
Just fun, you know, catchy, silly, non-actionable phrases that you love to put on your thermos at work or your bumper, etc.
I've heard that the Choose Life State of My Universe sticker makes a great gift.
