This week we forgot to watch the Jan 6th hearings because of entitlement. We did watch Patriot Front get arrested at a Pride event. That was pretty funny. The right is laughing too and not mad about it. Finally, we visit a Doc Holiday cosplayer pretending to have an epic son. Support the show for only #3.11/mo at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week as well as instant access to hundreds of bonus episodes. Music: Ecstatic Vision - Grasping the Void Godflesh - Veins King Krule - Sublunary
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned, guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
All there in Bartholstein.
Stay tuned.
All right, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
My brilliant son Johnny's elementary school teacher trying to get him to bring a poem to the local communist meeting is responsible.
We're documenting it.
Hey, what's up everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
We got a got a jam-packed show for everybody.
Tony, I'm on vacation.
This is... That's amazing.
This is, I mean, technically it's still the weekend, so like weekends don't count as vacation.
No, you're not on vacation yet.
I'm not counting that.
No, no.
I should always have that.
You're like warming up for vacation.
Uh, but yeah, no, it's, uh, tomorrow's my, today, when you're listening to this listener, uh, is my first day of vacation, meaning I had to, uh, start, uh, three fairly large, uh, home projects.
Nice.
Yeah.
Nice.
I'm talking about everyone's working.
They'd be working on the weekend.
Yeah.
Everybody's like, Oh, where are you going?
And I'm like, uh, I'm, I'm building a fence in my front yard.
You're like, you shouldn't do that.
That's not a good way to go about life.
No, no, no, no.
I'm building an actual fence.
I have a yard I have to keep things out of.
Oh, like an emotional fence?
Yeah.
Those are also being built, but that's not... I don't need a vacation for that.
Yeah, that's a full-time job.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So we hung the screen door that I had been sanding, staining, and Uh, polyurethane-ing for the last week, uh, cause it takes like four hours between each coat.
So you, I can do one in the morning before going to work and then one after, you know, but you got to sand first and then wipe it down again and then do another coat.
Yeah.
So it took several days.
Uh, then it was going to take both of us to hang it.
And, uh, it, we ended up having to like chip away at the house to get the hinges in the door jam.
uh but after and kudos to Ani for doing that uh but after we did that perfect fits fits beautifully nice wood screen door to replace our A shitty aluminum one that came with the house.
Personally, I think that any excuse to use a chisel is worth it.
I don't care what the problem is.
If I can use a chisel, that's worth it for me.
She used a multi-tool and a chisel.
Yeah.
So like a saw that'll cut through a lot of shit.
This sounds like another vacation within the vacation to me.
We did that.
We picked up all the wood for the fence.
Went down to the lumber yard and man, those, those forklift certified fellows, artists.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, man.
He, uh, he, he scooted over in his forklift to us while we were in line.
And, you know, we handed him our invoice.
He was like, you want it all in there?
And he pointed to like the, the back of the truck, which had, has a canopy over it.
And I was like, yeah, if it'll fit.
And he was like, Oh, it'll fit.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
I was like, all right, sick.
And then, yeah, he bundled it all up.
Fucking shoved it straight in.
He's, oh, it's going to be a tight one.
Got it right between the wheel wells inside the bed and then just fucking zoomed back and let the stack of 200 cedar boards like slide off a little bit.
And then he did it again.
Yeah.
It's beautiful.
Beautiful.
I love that.
So he did that.
Imagine what he could do with a body.
And, uh, since my, uh, oh, and I was like, you, will you take a tip?
And he was all, yeah, we'll take a tip.
I was like, cool, man.
Uh, yeah.
So my dad is coming up to stay with us, uh, for, for my vacation to help us build the fence, you know?
And so another thing I had to do was I had to, another preparation I had to do was, uh, I had to get him his prescription iced tea.
Oh yeah.
Is it a particular kind then?
Oh yeah.
Is it actually prescribed?
It's prescribed for stressed out dads.
It's called Arizona Rx Stress.
Oh yeah.
I know the dad formula.
I need to get on it.
That would probably help me a lot.
Yeah, they also do a prescription energy one that's pretty good.
I think it's maybe for younger dads.
I used to fuck with that one.
Yeah, it's a good alternative to like Red Bull, something like that.
I might have to get on the Stress one and maybe I'll get off the weed and on the Arizona Aric Stress.
Yeah, and then we technically have two bathrooms here.
The second bathroom, the back bathroom.
Is like an add-on that is just not up to code at all So much water damage from the shitty roof that was on this house when we moved in The sink was like it was one of those like MDF composite board Sink units with like a cap cabinetry underneath.
It was just basically like soggy at this was like meant to be there for like six months and Yeah and uh it was awful and I was like okay we're gonna have two more people in the in the house you know my my dad and stepmom and so I was like I wonder if we have time to get those like utility sink that we've been wanting to put back there you know because it's kind of like the back bathroom is kind of like our project room like that's where we were cleaning the silk screens.
Yeah.
That's where we do a lot of like scrubbing and stuff.
Man, utility sink is the dream.
That's awesome.
So we got that and then, uh, Ani was like, yeah, I think, I think I can hook it up.
You know, she's good with plumbing.
She's like, I think I could hook it up before, you know, Monday or whatever.
And so she ripped out all that shit when I was at work on, on Thursday and Friday.
And she had to just like spray bleach everywhere because of all the mold, try to kill everything.
And.
We were waiting for it to dry and she was like, do you want to just paint it?
You want to just paint the bathroom?
And I was like, yeah, absolutely.
So now I'm in the, yeah, we use Kiehl's all over it.
Did one coat of that yesterday as well.
So we did all that shit yesterday.
And then today I've been painting the really weird color we decided on.
It's like an army green color that we're just doing like monochrome inside the bathroom.
And I'm exhausted, Tony.
Yeah, but you deserved it.
You earned it.
And that feeling of being able to relax when you're exhausted, that feeling is worth being exhausted for.
Right.
I'm also going on vacation this week in the sense that the kid has multiple camps this week.
So I will be dropping her off for hours at a time.
And Daddy's on vacay, baby.
So you're going to be dropping her off for four hour chunks.
Picking her up later.
Yeah.
But hey, during that four hours, you know, daddy's off the clock.
Anything goes.
Yeah.
Hey, you know, it's who knows what might happen.
I might.
I might go to Target.
You could see one and a half Marvel movies.
I might see one and a half Marvel movies.
I'm gonna go see like the kids showings and movies they do for summertime, but like without her.
She's in summer school.
What'd you do?
I saw Kung Fu Panda.
You saw Kung Fu Panda?
While I was in like a camp?
That's what you did?
Yeah.
Yeah, vacay everywhere.
Sorry, honey.
I saw all the grooming movies that normally you're supposed to see.
Now daddy's groomed now.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, now I like pandas.
I'm just tired because I went to a really fun thing last night.
I went to this really cool art show.
It was like this 10th anniversary show of this gallery, Super Chief Gallery.
And it was just so fun.
I went with my brother and we just got to see a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time and ended up hanging out way too hard.
Took the train home this morning and I'm just, you know, I'm tired from that type of thing, but I feel fantastic and I had a great time and I'm grateful to be here.
It's not really any, like, tangible results from what you did yesterday and today.
More like, you know, little more abstract, but still valuable, I think.
I did forget that I did feed like 50 plates on Friday also.
Forgot about that, but that was more fun and tiring.
But you actually wound up with less food afterwards.
So again, not very proactive.
But still, I'm sure rewarding in some way.
I did double fry the oyster mushrooms, but that's only two coats.
Dude, those are so good.
The one time you made them for me, so good.
Thank you.
Thank you.
They're pretty smacking.
It was really fun.
It's been a killer weekend.
I'm excited to sleep in.
She's out of school now, so we get to sleep in until like 9 tomorrow morning.
Whoa.
Yeah.
I'm stoked.
Or 8.
Something like that.
Later than before.
Does she sleep in?
Will she sleep in?
Sometimes, like, she doesn't like to, but I'll, like, let her.
She'll get mad at me, she'll be like, why didn't you wake me up?
I was like, oh, cause you're, cause you're, cause you're a little child.
You need to sleep.
You're growing.
Uh, yeah, I saw, I don't know, I figured that, like, I've been, like, thinking about my...
My personality or my, uh, my habits, you know?
Uh-huh.
It feels really weird to like, you know, do a, do a political left, you know, union guy, uh, working class podcast and also have this like weird sickness where I always have to be, uh, working and doing something productive and constructive, like, like God is watching me, you know?
Yeah.
And it's like, I'm trying to reckon that with my political philosophy, which is kind of the opposite of that.
Like, people shouldn't have to do that, you know?
And I just realized, it's like, so I do take like pride in my work, right?
Like when I go to work, You know, delivering packages and, and, you know, hustling around the city and all that shit.
Like I take pride in it, but I think it's like somebody, I can't remember who it was, but somebody responded when I tweeted this out and they were like, well, I have to be at work, so I might as well be getting something out of it.
Yeah.
You know?
And that's kind of how I feel too, is like, I, I like want to do good at whatever I do.
And I don't think, and, and I don't think that's necessarily a good thing though.
Right?
It's like this, It's like I take pride in my work, but I don't take pride in the fact that I take pride in my work.
Yeah, you're a little ashamed of it.
But I think the one thing that you really need to confront is when you do things like refinish your bathroom and do things at home with your hands, that's actually you being a bit of a class traitor because you're really taking jobs.
That's true.
You're taking jobs when you do that.
When you make your own screen door, you could have bought that from a maker.
Okay.
So think about that.
Let me offer a counter-argument.
When I do home improvements on my house, I'm actually raising the value of the house, which, whereby I incur more property taxes.
So this is actually me like martyring myself for the owner class.
You're so brave.
Yeah.
You're so brave.
But don't tell, please don't tell like the IRS that I'm doing improvements to my house.
But I mean we're gonna we're gonna go ahead and we're gonna I'm gonna stop you though at the at the spraying bleach on the mold you should have called an abatement company who charged you tens of thousands of dollars and really ruined your life for a couple weeks so that's many jobs you you so that's where you really are did your that's kind of fucked up.
Okay I want to move on but like the one last thing I want to say is like Okay.
So I don't think, you know, this might be a controversial statement, especially given like what we're doing here on this show, but like, I don't think there's anything wrong with having a quote, good work ethic.
Yeah.
Uh, I think there's something wrong in being proud of having a good work ethic.
You know what I mean?
Like that's even more sick than what I am.
Yeah.
Like you hustling or whatever because you internally want to, that's fine.
That's your preference or whatever.
But you trying to make everybody else the same type of psycho that you are and then shaming them or thinking that they should like starve or not have a house because they only work 40 hours a week or because their job isn't their career or whatever.
I feel like that's a very different thing.
I feel like that's the root of a lot of problems when it comes to American mindset.
And I think those people need to take that energy and put that towards building their own screen doors because who knows they might be really good at that and maybe they can make screen doors instead because I think those people would really thrive without bosses.
Yeah, they can make screen doors and shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
You feel me?
Did you watch the January 6th hearings, Tony?
No.
No.
Oh, it's because you're privileged.
Yeah.
It's because you have a sense of entitlement and a sense of... That's exactly what it was.
Dude, I wasn't... I didn't even really want to talk about this.
Yeah.
Because... Well, obviously we don't want to because we're privileged in that sense.
I already saw it.
Like, we saw it happen.
It was really funny, in my opinion.
It was mostly funny, in my opinion.
That might, you know, rub people the wrong way, but... I don't really have an interest in watching the Democrats do a let's-win-the-midterms public hearing.
Yeah.
It really kind of feels what this is like.
And I mean, no shots at them.
I mean, they gotta try.
They gotta do everything.
They gotta do something.
They didn't do anything.
So, you know, at least they're doing this cheap thing.
You know, it's like they saw the Benghazi thing.
Yeah.
Right?
They saw how effective the Benghazi thing was and they were like, well, we got it.
We got to at least try to do this, right?
Because I've, you know, when I see people caring about this shit, caring about the hearings, right?
Not necessarily caring about January 6th.
I will, I will agree.
Yeah.
That was a quote big deal or whatever.
People tried to do some stuff, right?
Yeah.
It was a big deal.
People died.
But those people probably would have died, like, otherwise.
They probably would have died, like, getting back into their car or something.
Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
They're gonna step into traffic any moment, like, to make a point.
But, like, nothing's gonna happen from these hearings, right?
These hearings are just, like, to remind people that Republicans are assholes, essentially.
When it's, like, Everybody kind of knows that already people kind of know that Republicans are assholes because that's their brand they That's why people like the word.
That's why the people who like the Republicans like the Republicans is because they're assholes So I don't think it's gonna be Effective even in the the court of public opinion, although a lot of people did tune in But yeah, they're not they can't arrest anybody.
They don't have they're not like a law enforcement body Any information they have is probably already come through the FBI, right?
Yeah.
I don't, I don't know.
I don't see the purpose in it other than for partisan politics, which I'm not saying that like disparagingly, it's just a factor of the political system.
And I think that's what this is.
Yeah, like, no hearts and minds are going to be changed with this.
If anything, there's going to be some embarrassing moments where, like, we show just how we, how we did actually, like, coddle those people.
And that's going to be embarrassing for us.
And like, that's, that's not, you know, not us, but you know what I mean?
Like, not them.
Yeah.
It's like, that's, that's the, that's the only I can see coming out of this.
And then, you know, the obvious, this is what we're doing with our tax dollars.
You know, like, I'm also, you know, so there's, It's just a show for the people that are already in the room.
You know you're not you're not bringing anybody else in.
Yeah it's um and it's funny because like the Benghazi hearings were effective In so far that maybe they swayed a million people against Hillary or solidified, you know, a couple million people in the right areas against Hillary.
Which is not, it's not that many people in, you know, a nation of hundreds of millions, right?
But...
It was also a presidential race that they were affecting.
It was one person who was on the ticket, whose name was in the news, you know, every day for like six months or something like that.
So yeah, that can have an effect on a national general election.
You're doing this shit before the midterms where there's dozens of candidates up for re-election, up for election in general.
Maybe the Democrats are going to try and tie each individual candidate to January 6th.
But even that, the people who are voting for him are already down for that, you know?
It's funny, we talk about how effective is it, who are we doing it for, and something like Benghazi, I was talking to somebody last night who didn't know that Benghazi merch was a thing.
So, you know, like a lot of people weren't even aware of that.
They like heard, they knew what Benghazi was, but they didn't know it went that far.
They didn't know that like the Chuds were wearing, you know, uh, never forget Benghazi shirts.
And so it's like how, yeah, how effective is this stuff in both directions?
It's like those people are, I don't know if that's a changing votes.
Yeah.
It really seems like Democrats' message, other than Republicans are scary.
Well, it seems like... It seems like the message stems from, yeah, Republicans are scary, Republicans are bad.
Which, yeah, sure, they're both of those things.
And therefore, we need to reify or strengthen or put our faith in these institutions To combat Republican undemocratic-ness.
To combat fascism.
To combat fake news.
We need to re-establish order through these institutions.
It's like, well, a show trial is probably the least effective way to do that.
Because you're not going to get anything done with this show trial.
You're not proving anything about the institutions.
You're actually kind of showing, like, how hollowed out they are.
How much of it was... You're going to show way more ass than you want to in this, for sure.
Yeah, so, and then second of all, like, the institutions, they're not...
They're not all that great, even when they were working.
Even when they were, you know, both Democrats and Republicans agreed that the institutions were infallible and deserve to be, norms deserve to be upheld.
They weren't doing much for everybody, right?
And most people, I feel like, are kind of coming to that conclusion that holy shit, like, the American political system was really like a rigged shell game against all of us.
Yeah, hopefully that's what needs to happen is that exact thing where it's like, oh, that's the deal.
It isn't really us.
I mean, the people who have embraced that most strongly are the left and Republicans.
And Republicans, yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's the Republican argument.
That was the Republican argument back when Trump was running, was that there's a swamp.
There's a swamp filled with your political enemies, filled with the powerful that are, you know, using the government against you.
And it's like, yeah, of course that's true.
Not in the specific way he means it, but it's of course true.
And it speaks to a truth that, like, a lot of people understand.
And you have the Democratic playbook, including Democratic voters, The Democratic base who are trying to convince everybody that no, actually, government, the institutions as they are right now is good.
They're good.
And it's like, you're not, you're not going to convince anybody of that.
We know, we've seen the evidence.
We know that's not true.
The only way, the only way the Democrats could like pull this off with that kind of retaliation is if they do like, they do like, for some reason, put Bernie back up and they use Earth Crisis as his music.
Earth Crisis will be the, uh, the, uh, what was, what was the Pete song?
Oh, high, high hopes.
Yeah, but it'll be Earth Crisis, and it'll talk about the, you know, how we're gonna cleanse the earth of the, uh, of the corrupt politicians.
That's the only tactic that's gonna work and that's never gonna happen.
Man, I can't wait to see that TikTok dance.
That Fortnite dance for that.
It's just crowd killing.
Just punching people in the back of the head.
Yeah.
Close hand.
Punching people in the back of the head.
Hammer fisting down onto people's crania.
Targeting smaller people.
Uh, yeah, no, the TikTok dance for the Earth Crisis Bernie Sanders campaign song is gonna be, uh, a guy who's much too heavy trying to stage dive for like, on top of three people at a current Earth Crisis concert.
You know what?
I think I'm gonna try to get real lean because Speed's finally playing in America and I think I gotta get real lean so I don't feel like an asshole when I stage dive on everybody.
So yeah, I'm gonna start fasting and stuff to get all cut up and be light enough to stage dive on these people.
Well if you get light enough then you can headwalk guilt-free.
Oh, that's the plan.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna hit the exit sign.
And if you have, people don't know this, if you have bigger feet, it's actually better.
It's actually more comfortable for the people you're head walking on because it distributes the weight more evenly across their heads and necks and shoulders.
And with like, you know, size 14s and stuff, we can hit two heads at once.
Dude, I'm a fucking size 15 now.
My feet are still growing.
It sucks so bad, dude.
All my shoes.
All my shoes hurt my feet.
I can't go to a show in my shoes without my feet hurting.
That sucks.
That sucks.
I'm blessed with my large feet that I somehow have been lucky enough to have the right shoes for.
I think it's because I'm exercising so much.
Yeah.
My feet are getting stronger too.
Yeah.
They're like, you know, hulking out a little bit.
Are you wearing less shoes?
Are you getting more grounded?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
Good.
That's what I'm talking about.
I'm wearing, um, I'm not wearing those toe shoes, you know, the shoes with the toes in them.
I'm wearing, uh, socks with toes in them.
Socks with toes in them?
Because that's even, you get even more tactile response from the brain.
I'm wearing, I'm wearing the chain mill ones.
The chain mill ones that you can like run and like not worry about thorns.
I'm wearing those ones.
So like, instead of sap gloves, they're sap boots.
Yeah, exactly.
Sap shoes.
Yeah, yeah.
Damn.
Imagine, imagine how many people you could spin kick with those without your feet getting tired.
It'd be no problem, it'd be no problem.
So yeah, I'm gonna just lose a lot of weight so I can guiltlessly headwalk on folks.
For the Democratic Party.
I don't really, you know, if you get some good Democrats in there, like, you know, I'll probably vote.
I don't give a shit, like, you know, whatever.
It's easy enough to do.
I can vote by mail, vote from home, or whatever.
I could just post on the internet that I voted for you.
I could do that.
Well, the good thing is, when you vote by mail, they send you the sticker automatically.
So you don't even have to vote.
You just get the sticker.
Put it on your skateboard.
But I'm not gonna, like, sign up for that political project.
Oh, let's re-establish faith in American capitalist democracy.
No, sorry.
You guys have fun with that.
Good luck.
Yeah, the speech of like, you know what we need is the principles.
The principles of the thing is that we need to return to the principles.
Like, shut the fuck up.
Like, honestly, you guys, I don't know.
You need to pivot.
This sucks.
You need to go away with what you need to do.
Yeah, so didn't so didn't see the January 6th hearings.
I hope it went well for them, though I hope they won.
I hope, you know, best of luck to them.
Yeah, I hope everyone had a good time.
But what I did see, Tony, maybe you saw this too, 31 members of Patriot Front getting arrested at an Idaho Pride Parade.
Yeah.
Before probably like trying to do hate crimes on the attendees.
Pretty insane.
Pretty insane?
Insane for a couple reasons.
Pretty scary that they were, you know, this well organized and were packed into a U-Haul, apparently, with their little shields and a smoke grenade, which they like to use at their counter protests, you know, for optics.
And... Yeah, so if you don't play much, you don't play many shooters, do you?
No.
Yeah, obviously.
No, they don't have... Smoke grenades, like your number one...
Smoke grenade is the smart man's camping.
No, see in Elden Ring the vulgar militia uses little smoke bombs to try and disguise and hide their movements and I think that's like a cowardly thing to do.
I think that's like a degenerate thing to do.
Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
Is vulgar militia a thing in that?
Yeah, I think that's what they're called.
They're like gross little creepy guys with scythes, hooks, and they jump out.
They have claws, too.
They wear claw gloves that they swipe on the ground.
That's what I'm going to name my improv troupe.
The Vulgar Militia.
That's pretty good.
I mean, it's cool sounding.
It is.
You know what you're in for.
Hey, don't bring kids to this show.
We get vulgar militia.
We get a little blue.
Yeah, so these guys were arrested on their knees.
Sure, abolished the police, but it's always fun when we get pig-on-pig violence.
I enjoy it.
I'm not afraid to say that.
Yeah, they all got arrested.
They were all just kneeling in the grass in their khaki cargoes and dark blue polos.
If you're not familiar, so Patriot Front is... What was the name of the group?
Was it Vanguard?
Yeah, I think so.
Vanguard America, basically the people who organized Unite the Right, which is the Charlottesville... Tiki Torch bros.
Tiki Torch riot that, you know, where that guy killed Heather Heyer.
Yep.
Rest in peace, but rebranded after that for obvious reasons.
But the same guy who was like the leader of that group, who organized Unite the Right, is the leader of Patriot Front.
Thomas Ryan Rousseau.
Yeah, he rebranded to try and do like an America first.
You know, there's a few of these.
There's an American front as well.
There's a few of these fascist groups that are trying to, you know, tie themselves to like regular American patriotism, except, oh, we have the fascist symbol like right there, you know, and then also our manifesto, our group.
Charter says, uh, white people only, essentially.
That's why I think it's cool that there's like an option to be like a socialist patriot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally real thing that you can do.
Yeah.
The real thing.
Real thing that's, and it's, it would totally, it's totally going to work on, on normal average, everyday patriots.
They're going to be like, whoa, you can be socialist and be a thin blue line guy.
Wow.
That's so cool.
I'm definitely going to be a commie now.
Well, I mean, yeah, if you don't understand that, you must be an R-word.
So yeah, these guys were arrested.
I'm going to read here from Washington Post.
Many of those arrested were wearing logos representing Patriot Front, which I'm reading Washington Post here.
I'm trying to give them a little boost after the sort of controversy.
They're going through a hard time.
Had a little bit of a kerfuffle.
One thing we do here is we do support journalism, OK?
Yeah.
Yeah, democracy dies in co-worker backbiting.
Okay.
The group's founder, Thomas Ryan Rousseau, was among those arrested according to jail records.
Like the others, Rousseau was arrested on charge of criminal conspiracy to riot a misdemeanor.
The arrestees were held on $300 bail, which is what, $30 to your bail bondsman?
Yeah, that's incredible.
Anybody who was doing bail funds and bail work over these past couple years knows that that is wild. $300?
Oh my god.
So I mean that that is just to get that part of the way that is kind of on the face of this too is yeah they arrested him but to what extent?
But yeah like dirty that's that's unheard of.
Oh yeah so well the big thing about arresting them the biggest like consequence of them being arrested is like their image their names and addresses and faces being public.
That's, I mean, that's the biggest consequence of it, and that's going to have the most material effect on their ability to organize going forward.
Yeah, the cops aren't, the legal system doesn't give a fuck about these guys.
But just imagine, like, even, what if I just got pulled over in a box truck for having a broken taillight, but it's me driving a box truck around a protest?
Yeah.
Like, you know?
Yeah, $300.
You know?
Yeah, $300.
Amazing.
You'd have to pay $300 to get the cops to release your corpse to your mother.
Yeah, exactly.
That is the fee.
Some of the other men arrested have also been linked to the group.
Okay, and then this is another side thing.
This is just very interesting from the same Washington Post article.
The Panhandle Patriots, a local motorcycle club... Hell yeah, brother!
Yeah, this is Idaho.
Panhandle Patriots, a local motorcycle club, had planned a Gun Delane event.
So, because this event was going to be held in Coeur d'Alene, Yeah.
The Pride Parade is gonna be held in Coeur d'Alene, so the Panhandle Patriots are doing a counter-protest called Gun-d'Alene.
As in gun.
Like G-U-N.
Like, I'm gonna shoot you.
Yeah, but it's not like they were calling it like... I can't do it.
Gay-d'Alene?
Does it work?
Like, they weren't doing that.
Like, what are you doing?
Why are you doing that?
Uh, well, let me read on.
See if we can find out.
Had planned a Gun Delane event on the same day as Pride in the Park to quote, go head-to-head with these people, an organizer said in April during an appearance with state rep Heather Scott.
The organizer was not identified by name in a video, but wore a vest bearing the alias Mad Dog and the insignia of the Panhandle Patriots group.
Okay, he lamented that the Pride gathering would be, quote, allowed to parade through all of Coeur d'Alene, saying that a, quote, a line must be drawn in the sand against such LGBTQ displays.
Scott did not immediately respond to a request for comment from the Post late Saturday.
So, I mean, in his own words, he was saying, no, we're going to bring guns to stop these people from having their event.
We're going to give them an option.
Yeah.
It's so wild.
These dudes routinely...
get fully tacked out with their guns to go like face to face with people like pasties and glitter yeah and like they fucking mean it and it's so like that's so sad yeah sad life i saw some of the some of the other counter protesters like were holding big banners that said like you know groom groomers go home and shit like that like this is all this is walking dogs like leaving with sad faces um
Yeah, and then the next paragraph is so funny.
In a news release posted to the group's website, the Panhandle Patriots encouraged the community to quote, take a stand against the LGBTQ agenda.
It also suggested without evidence that quote, extremist groups were trying to hijack the event to provoke violence and said the group would change its event name to North Idaho Day of Prayer in response.
Wait, so who?
That got confusing in the end.
I know.
That's amazing.
It's almost like they're trying to have it both ways.
Yeah.
So their event was to bring guns to the Gay Pride Parade March event to stop them from doing that, to go head to head with them and show them that they're not allowed to do this.
And then also, unfortunately, extremist groups are trying to hijack this event, which is, wow, that's so shameful.
Who would do that?
So we're going to change the name of our Bring a Gun to Scare the Gays event to the North Idaho Day of Prayer.
That's what we're calling it now.
And like what you do is you it's North Idaho Day of Prayer and so you see at 2 p.m.
that's we're gonna bless the guns.
We're gonna we're gonna bless the guns that day.
So the response to this has been pretty funny.
It's been pretty wild too.
There's a page called a Facebook page called the Trumplicans.
They're a pretty big, you know, MAGA-type Facebook page.
No, we're all aware of this new government movement, this new party known as the Trumplicans.
We're all aware of it.
I mean, they're taking over.
I mean, there have been so many attempts to start a Trump party that's not the Republicans.
They've tried to start the Elephant Party, the MAGA Party.
I still think we need to try the Rump Party.
Okay.
I think the Rump Party would be good because it's silly and also it's, you know, it's a little bit of a mash-up.
I think that that might trick some people into joining.
I think that might trick, like, the 80s b-boys into joining a political group that they wouldn't otherwise associate with.
That's true.
That's true.
That might, uh, but that's how I think they should do it.
I think they should give it a shot.
Because they're self-deprecating enough.
The Trumplicans posts, and you can add an emotion to what you're posting, so like a state of being qualifier, a state of being modifier to your post.
So their post says, the Trumplicans is feeling confident.
And it's like a scrutinous eye, like raising an eyebrow, kind of smirking, smiley face.
And then it goes, Bwahahaha!
Please let your friends and family know that, quote, Patriot Front is an undercover FBI group whose purpose is to lure anyone not liberal to try and commit acts of, quote, domestic terrorism.
Parentheses.
That might even include speaking your mind at a school board meeting.
Winky face.
So I'm going to pause right here.
The post goes on.
But I'm going to pause right here because there's so much contained.
So much.
The Trumplicans contain multitudes.
Okay, so Patreon... First of all, real quick, can we do more posts from, like, Minion Death Commandos feeling confident that, since we're part of that, I will be feeling confident in return?
Like, just from posting that way, maybe I will feel more confident that day?
I mean, fake it till you make it.
I think that's a good mental exercise we can maybe do is make more confident posts.
Positive mental attitude.
Yeah.
What is that?
PMA all day.
Cognitive behavioral therapy.
I think most of that is adding like a positive emotional state to your Facebook posts.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
And that's, that's why.
Train your brain, train your brain to think positively.
So post, let's post, let's post confidently.
Yeah.
That's, yeah, this is amazing.
Cause like, As we know, these things happen, but it's funny that they're saying that's what this is.
Okay, that's what they're going to say.
That's what the right-wing, and we talked about this probably every time there is right-wing vigilante violence, except with Kyle Rittenhouse.
That's the one that they're like, no, he's a good guy.
He's a cool good guy because he killed left-wing protesters and got away with it.
We love him for it.
Except with that, like these mass shooters, these like white supremacist mass shooters, I mean even as far back as the Charlottesville rally, the right wing broadly encourages these things.
They want to see these things happen.
It's the same thing with January 6th.
It's exactly what we're talking about.
Fucking politicians went on record, not just Donald Trump, politicians across the country, public figures, went on record saying, yes, do January 6th.
Yes, stop the steal.
Yes, stop the certification.
Yes, go do a Second Amendment solution to the constitutional crisis that's happening in Washington, D.C.
right now.
And then it happens.
And then all of them say, well, that was obviously the FBI who did that.
This is for weak-minded conservatives get roped into supporting this kind of stuff.
And then they get arrested all because it's fake.
It's fake.
It's FBI.
That's what they said about the Buffalo shooter.
That's what they're saying about all these guys.
Oh, it's Feds.
It's Glowys.
If you don't know, glowy, it's a term for federal agents, undercover federal agents trying to instigate acts of violence by maladjusted people on the internet.
Which, don't get me wrong, does happen.
I'm no fan of the FBI, I'm no fan of the CIA.
They definitely take advantage of maladjusted people and push them and give them the stuff they need to do violence.
That doesn't mean that there's not an actual right-wing problem in this country.
That doesn't mean that there aren't actual, like, organizations.
Like, the panhandle patriots who are appearing with fucking politicians, with elected officials.
That's the thing here is like um is that like that you know you can make those arguments and they can make them pretty convincingly about like you know independent people but this is a whole group of people this is you know this is this is a whole like organization this is they don't the FBI you know but there's there's informants in there no doubt but they didn't need to do any work there like Facebook did the rest of the work for them They got a U-Haul.
Yeah, they got a U-Haul.
Like, what material support does the FBI have?
Dude, so much of the argument was like, oh yeah, oh, matching khakis and polos?
Wow, the FBI didn't even change out of their office gear.
It's like, this is the uniform of like, I don't know, 75% of white dads?
And a lot of non-white dads, too?
I mean, you ever go to Home Depot?
Yeah.
You know?
So yeah, this is gonna be the right, just be prepared to hear this.
Every time there's any right-wing act of violence, or on the rare occasion that a right-wing act of violence is actually prevented by the cops, which is probably the craziest part of this story.
That's, yeah, that's the unheard of part of the story right here.
I wonder if it's, I wonder, you know, this is more conspiratorial thinking, but I mean, I wonder if it's like to...
Shift the discussion away from the insane things the cops have been doing and not doing the last month.
Yeah.
They haven't had a lot of good PR lately.
Nope.
I wonder if they actually pulled the trigger, so to speak, on this minor bust on 31 guys who are gonna do the same shit that people were doing in Portland for two years.
Remember, remember Proud Boys and Patriot Prayer marching through fucking Portland every other weekend with the help of cops, by the way?
Kidnapping people, like, all kinds of stuff.
Like, it was gnarly.
Like, no.
This one, this one's like, I don't know, this is like, this one's, I'm happy you stopped it, Robert, but this one was too soft.
So, they're going, every time you see something like this, They're gonna say, oh, it's fake.
It's Feds.
Until they get enough people to do it, like, once and for all.
You know what I mean?
They're gonna play stupid.
They're gonna pretend like this isn't what they want to happen.
So what you're saying is, until they get contacted by Feds themselves.
Well, I mean, I'm getting way off track here, but it's like...
They don't even have to organize because these institutions that like the Democrats love so much are the institutions that are going to be doing all this work for the right wing, for the white nationalist right wing of this country, right?
They're going to continue to deport record numbers of people, they're going to continue to over-police black, brown, poor communities, they're going to continue to kill leftist activists, continue to like...
Yeah, so they don't really have to do anything.
They don't really have to actually organize.
They can just pretend like the vigilante stuff is fake and then pretend that the institutional stuff isn't far enough.
Yeah, and that's why I like this.
It's nice to see, but it is still kind of underwhelming.
It's just funny.
They probably just wanted to save themselves some paperwork later that day for whatever would have actually happened.
They're like, I don't want to deal with that.
I don't want to be in the news.
They didn't want to be in the news.
That's what it was.
They didn't want to be the city in the news this week.
So but just this this statement this like logic circle that these like outwardly you know quote revolutionary 17 let's do some 1776 three percenters shit to the government the like logic loop these people have to do when saying that this these people who are actually maybe trying to do that visibly are fake right because right here it's
Patriot Front is an undercover FBI group whose purpose is to lure anyone not liberal to try and commit acts of quote domestic terrorism and it's like so them attacking gay people for being gay is not domestic terrorism?
Like, do you think that that's not really domestic terrorism?
If you think that that's not really domestic terrorism, then you don't think what they were doing was bad, right?
But that's why they go on to say, like, but we weren't going to go scare them, we were just bringing our guns to a place because we can do that.
That's the same thing as, you know, speaking at a school board meeting.
And then he lumps that in, whoever's posting for the Trumplicans, lumps that in with speaking your mind at a school board meeting.
Yeah.
Because...
I think the DOJ, I'm trying to remember my, my electoral, my, my, uh, big capital P politics history here.
I think the DOJ ruled that possible acts of terror might be the stuff like what's being done at local school board meetings where, you know, some people have been attacked.
Some people have been, you know, assaulted and things like that.
Uh, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, Mark them.
I wouldn't send them to Guantanamo Bay or anything for that, but um... Yeah, that made news on the right for a long time.
Yeah, I remember that.
It still is.
That's what he's referring to.
Absolutely.
And it's like... Who was charged with terrorism for that?
Like, you're saying that the FBI is trying to instigate you into doing the thing that you think is good and not terrorism.
So?
So what's your what's your point man?
Well it just sucks because the thing is that the FBI has quotas too and that's all the reason we're doing it.
They don't even really believe in it so it's the principles of the thing.
But the FBI isn't like arresting anybody for speaking at a school board meeting.
You know what I mean?
And it's like if if the FBI did want to do that they wouldn't have to engineer white nationalist marches to go you know To make news.
They could go arrest every single annoying person at a fucking local school board meeting.
Easily.
They would come to you.
They dress like misguided preppies in matching outfits and hats.
The masks immediately give them away.
Oh, they think that they think they're wearing the mask for COVID.
Yeah.
Wow.
It's like they're wearing like uniform gators.
Like the watchman police.
Yeah.
They're wearing it from anonymity.
They're wearing it for like, you know, one of the many reasons you should be wearing mask coverings to actions like that.
It's like, that's not because of COVID, I promise you.
Yeah, these people went from like, uh protesting the government or resisting the government by not hiding their faith by not hiding their identity uh to now anybody who hides their identity is doing it because they are the government yeah exactly because they're ops You'd think the FBI or they really think this is how Trump supporters in particular dress.
You'd think the FBI would have figured out their quote enemy by now.
Sheesh.
It's like they're just phoning it in.
Apparently they can't find any REAL white supremacists, so they have to cosplay as them.
Crying laughing emoji.
And it's like, yeah, no, this logic is perfect.
I've decided that these people are fake, and wow, they must not be able to find any real ones if they can only find these ones that I've said are fake.
Also, the FBI is really invested in maintaining the narrative that white people are racist and awful.
That's what the FBI cares about.
They're pushing that.
They're making that happen.
Hate crimes are all psyops.
I mean, to be fair, the FBI gets just as much money from going after white people as it does black people.
You know what I mean?
It's actually pretty beneficial for them to ramp up the idea of nationalist terrorism.
But to fabricate the nationalist terrorism... Yeah, you don't have to do that.
You don't need to do that.
It already exists.
If they'll sink this low to create trouble where there is none, imagine what the FBI is doing to keep the gun debate narrative going in favor of total disarmament of every American citizen except criminals.
They'll still keep them armed.
Where do you think these work?
Where do you think these criminals are getting these quote illegal guns?
So just a very coherent post.
Love this person's politics.
It's so funny because like, yeah, if you go to just any of these people's conversations in the Trump Republican groups like this, the nationalist groups like this, they want to do gun stuff to pride events.
They want to do gun stuff to like LGBTQ and they're just like, I mean, they're too lazy to actually do that, which is good.
But yeah, no, they want to do it.
But they know better, essentially, that it would be a bad look.
Absolutely.
It's just so funny.
The whole thing is...
I don't know.
I think they're just mad that they think they have to do the job of policing because no one else is what they're kind of doing with this whole thing, you know?
But it's like, no, you don't have to make it up.
It's there.
You're fine.
Well, it's the same like queuing on shit.
It's like letting yourself feel more knowledgeable or more crafty or savvy than like everybody else because you made up a hidden thing behind the thing that everybody else is looking at.
Yeah.
Before we move on, It's just this is how deep this this like coping mechanism goes of Oh, they're feds.
Oops, Patriot front member was arrested in Idaho carrying megaphone marked with FBI on it.
First of all, I love that.
I love that headline.
No need to edit that one down.
No editorial inserting themselves between this person and the headline.
Carrying megaphone marked with FBI on it.
Wow.
Is that him in the picture that's being arrested?
Making that face?
Oh yeah, I think that might be Russo.
I don't know.
Whoever it is, that face is amazing.
Is he doing like duck face?
He's doing duck lips.
You know who he looks like?
He looks like a buff version of the weirdo ghost inspector from the Michael J Fox movie, The Frighteners.
That's a deep cut.
Not Ghost Inspector.
He is an FBI agent, actually.
Holy shit.
I think he's an FBI guy.
Whoa!
It's still him?
It's him?
Let me look him up.
I've never seen The Fighters, I don't think.
Oh, it's very good.
It's Peter Jackson, I think?
Oh, cool, cool.
Jake Busey is like the head ghost.
The head bad ghost.
It's pretty good.
Jeffrey Combs is the actor that I'm thinking of.
Oh, okay, I'm looking at him.
Oh shit, he was in Castle Freak.
Oh yeah, yeah, totally.
Yeah, special agent Milton Dammers.
He's a special agent.
Okay, so, yep, sorry.
I guess they were right.
Apologies.
That's so funny.
Patriot Front.
There's the proof.
They were feds the whole time.
They were Jeffrey Combs.
That clip is so good.
Yeah, Frighteners is a funny movie, though.
Funny, dark comedy.
Recommend.
Okay.
I might give it a watch, then.
Michael J. Fox can actually see ghosts, and so he just scams people into paying him for exorcisms and stuff.
That's tight.
That's a good jug.
It's like The Sixth Sense, if it were a black comedy.
So it's funny.
Oh, it's super funny.
Because the poster for it looks scary.
It's like a guy's face being pushed through a wall or something.
It looks like the Metal Gear Solid flaming clown head guy face going through the wall.
You mean twisted metal?
Twisted metal, yeah.
Metal Gear Solid, yeah.
My bad.
Solid clown face.
Yeah.
Okay, oops Patriot Front member was arrested in Idaho carrying megaphone marked with quote FBI on it.
On Saturday, 31 members of the Patriot Front group, an alleged white supremacist group, were arrested in Idaho on the way to a protest.
Yeah, that's very funny.
You don't have to allege that part.
It's not a crime to be a white supremacist.
Well, they're trying to make it, Tony.
They're trying to make it that way.
They really are.
It is alleged that they're a white supremacist group.
It's alleged by Patriot Front.
They're the ones who alleged it.
They were traveling to a gay pride event with shields in the back of a U-Haul.
Following the arrest today, a local police officer admitted that they knew about the planned protest because the Patriot Front was infiltrated by law enforcement.
I love the phrase admitted.
Yeah, sorry.
We, sorry.
We're admitting that we found out about what they were doing.
That's why we arrested them.
You know what the best part is?
Is like next week, they're all going to have like a little meeting and they're going to be like, Tanner, did you fucking tell him?
Like, I know you're a cop, but did you tell him?
And Tanner's like, no way, bros.
I would never tell them.
I would never tell them.
You know I would never do that.
Yeah.
I don't know how they found out.
I don't even know.
I don't even know, dude, but I wouldn't tell them.
So we're still cool, right?
And they're like, yeah, we're still cool, bro.
And then he's going to be continuing to be informant.
It's going to be awesome.
Oh, the Patriot Front guy.
Yeah, who's also a cop.
Well, they know he's a cop, but he says he didn't tell them.
He's like, no, no way.
I wouldn't do that, bros.
I told you that.
Oh, see, I was thinking it was like at the cop meeting at the debriefing where they were like, who told the frickin newspaper That we knew about the planned event and that's how we were able to arrest them.
You're supposed to tell them, no, we had our cop senses were just heightened.
We saw the U-Haul and we saw the leaf springs in the back were weighed down way too light for a normal U-Haul.
A normal U-Haul should be carrying a full living room's worth of furniture.
This obviously only, you know, about 12 bodies in the back of it.
Skylar was in the back of the U-Haul and they parked and someone just tapped on it and he accidentally goes, Oh no, I can't believe it's the police.
And then nothing happened.
And then they did get open and it was the police.
And he goes, Oh no, I can't believe it's the police.
Because it was him still.
Oh man.
They have like four different informants, but they didn't tell.
And they're all going to get to hang out.
Cause they probably want to hang out with cops so bad.
It appears that one of the men arrested was carrying a megaphone marked FBI.
Yeah.
And yeah, so somebody has, they've like shared the meme.
They just post, put a meme in the center of this article that was made by someone else, obviously.
And it's the photo that you're talking about, Tony, of the guy with like the fashy haircut.
Yeah.
Doing a squinty eyes, pursed lips, sort of modeling look.
And yeah, they wrote, glow boy has the blue steel.
And then they included a photo of Zoolander, a little thumbnail image of Zoolander, but he's wearing a turtleneck over his face like he has a mask.
Pretty funny stuff and they've pointed they put an arrow pointing to a circled sticker on the megaphone that's being confiscated by the police.
It says clear as day FBI FBI and you know there are other letters and words above the above FBI but don't worry about those the important one is that it says FBI.
Well also if you if you zoom in if you look there's words below it I believe it says I think it says female body inspector?
I think that's what it says underneath that?
That's interesting.
What this is so it's a megaphone that's got multiple stickers on it and it does say FBI because the sticker says abolish the FBI.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, this is pretty funny.
Amazing.
I clicked on this article because somebody had linked it in a other comment section I was in.
They were like, oopsie daisy, feds slipped up again.
And it's like, yeah, the undercover federal agent who's doing a false flag mission brought his FBI official megaphone with him.
Grabbed the wrong official megaphone on the way out.
Oops.
My bad.
I was supposed to grab the white nationalist megaphone.
Yeah.
Fuck.
You know, ironically, my white nationalist megaphone is actually nicer than the one that was issued by the FBI.
Bigger budget.
So think about that with your tax dollars.
Kind of bullshit.
Kind of bullshit.
And so I clicked on this article half expecting this article to not be here anymore.
Because I was like, oh, they definitely got hoodwinked when they wrote this article.
It's definitely not whatever they think it was.
No, the whole article is still here, so I just looked at the image that they included in here and it very clearly says abolish the FBI.
Yeah, there's no way around it.
I guess they're just hoping everyone's looking at it on a phone, but even then it's pretty clearly that's what it says.
A couple comments here before we move on to the final segment.
Cajun AZ!
By the way, they were all fucking fighting in these comment sections.
Everybody was fighting with everybody.
There was like two or three people who were like, uh, Patriot Front actually didn't even do anything.
I don't know why the fucking feds were arresting them, uh, just for wanting to march.
And everybody was like, okay, FBI.
Okay.
Fed.
Okay.
Glory.
I love that.
I do like the idea that, um, because you know, he's furious that people think he's, uh, an informant.
That makes me happy.
I want to keep that going.
It's really cool to do the thing that every other armchair conservative is salivating at the mouth to do, and then the second you actually do it, everybody calls you a fucking secret commie FBI agent.
It's great.
He's writhing with that.
I like that.
So KJ in Arizona says, well, I will try this again.
I was writing a comment about how there should have been a real insurrection on January 7th, but we can't organize or communicate without being noticed.
And my brave browser shut down and reset.
I guess brave is a type of browser.
It's like an alternative to Safari or Chrome.
You don't have to tell me that.
We're talking on a Brave browser right now.
Oh, shit, I didn't know.
That's why my shit's so goddamn secure.
Working well for us.
Not for KJ in Arizona, though.
My Brave browser shut down and reset.
And by the way, I love him saying, oh, yeah, commenting on an article about how obviously the people doing this shit were feds.
But also, we should have had a real insurrection.
Yeah.
We should have done it for real.
The next day.
It should have been the next day, but we couldn't organize it overnight because we couldn't communicate without being watched.
But it should have been the next day.
Yeah, that's about the 10th time that's happened.
So the Brave browser is shutting down.
That's about the 10th time that's happened in the last few days.
And every time I was about finished with another scorching comment on this administration.
That means that someone else is reading my posts as I type them.
This isn't a coincidence.
Hello, FBI boys.
Now go fuck yourselves.
You go fuck yourself, actually.
That's what they're saying.
FBI voice.
So, we should have done an actual insurrection on January 7th, but the FBI was shutting down my browser too much.
They saw how the scorching comments I was going to post about this administration.
You don't even know.
Bars.
I had bars.
Red alert.
This guy called him Brandon twice.
Can't let this happen.
Wow.
Yeah, it's like... I like that you think... People think they're so important.
That makes me happy.
They can't even let this guy post.
They're of course not going to let him march on DC.
Are you kidding me?
Think about how annoying it's going to be when this comment has to be submitted as evidence later on in the Supreme Court.
Just get rid of it now.
It's too powerful.
Uh, and Bo Trahan replies, a friend told me four years ago he happened to cross something on Google Maps in a remote location and someone immediately spoke over his computer speaker stating he shouldn't be snooping around that location.
Over, over his computer speaker?
Yeah.
So, oh, he was on Google Maps.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Cause that's what Google Maps, Google Maps makes it like you can go into it.
They make it so you can go into it, but you just shouldn't.
Rather than just not have it there.
Because there are like empty chunks of Google Maps.
Lots of them.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, that are probably for reasons like that.
Yeah, I love the idea that somebody was monitoring your, they got like a red alert.
A little siren went off when your cursor, when your mouse like scrolled over to a bare stretch of desert in Nevada or something.
And then a voice came over the computer speaker and said, HALT CITIZEN!
No, don't do that.
You're not ready for what you're going to learn right now.
You're going to want to turn around.
Uh, yeah.
I wonder if this guy has also has like an uncle who works at Nintendo who has all the secrets about the sequel to Breath of the Wild.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All about knows all about the new skins coming out.
Another, like, very important poster, obviously.
Somebody who's, like, posting and clicking their way to the truth.
And, I mean, the powers that be have to put a stop to that.
And yeah, it's not by just removing that part of Google.
Just, like, the hand-in-glove relationship that the government already has with Google.
To just, yeah, pull one string with your little pinky and have Google erase anything and everything you ever wanted them to off of Google Maps.
No, the easiest way to do it is have somebody hack into your personal computer.
Oh, Citizen, you can't be hovering over that part of the screen and also you have to send me $100,000 in Bitcoin or else I'm sending this webcam video of you masturbating to your family.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's definitely the way to go.
I mean, that's where our tax dollars go and I'm happy about that.
It's called surveillance and it keeps us safe.
Just the odds of them being there at the right time to tell you no is so funny.
That's how powerful these guys are.
So powerful.
And I mean, well, I mean, maybe, maybe we're just not good enough posters.
Cause if we were, maybe they would be like specifically watching us.
Cause I think true.
I think they probably just had, had tabs on these two very, uh, righteous, righteous internet users.
Yeah, clearly.
There's a certain combination algorithm that happens in your browser history that lights up like a beacon to the FBI.
They're like, we have to watch this person.
They not only have fantastic taste in women, but politic.
And they kind of know all of our secrets, it seems.
Yeah, I mean, they normally don't like rap music.
They don't like rap music.
But they like this one guy.
yeah uh...
okay last thing I wanted to talk about is uh...
a little account called the real lactose intolerant on twitter You see this guy, Tony?
No, but I respect the name, you know?
Well, hold that thought.
Because I don't respect this name.
Because, okay, so... The handle, like the display name, is the real Lactose Intolerant.
Yeah.
All one word.
And it's like... Sure.
Why?
Why would you... You don't have to do that.
It's your display name.
You can type sentences.
You can put a space in your display.
Like, this is like rookie shit.
Maybe you're not the real one.
Maybe you're trying too hard.
Uh, their at, their actual, like, Twitter handle is... Be.
Your.
Huckleberry.
With a three for an E.
So, what they're referring to is, of course, Doc Holliday, the man who is sick with a respiratory illness and dying, but he's so badass with his guns.
He's hot.
He's pretty hot, even when he's all gray.
So hot.
All gross and sweating.
Kind of transparent looking.
Very cool, though.
Very cool.
He says, like, I'll be your Huckleberry.
Meaning, like, I'm gonna kill somebody.
Yeah.
So this guy has that be your Huckleberry.
He has that, like, epic, badass, you know, guerrilla fighter, American patriot phrase as his handle, but it's in, like, the I can has cheeseburger speak.
Yeah, it's awful, is what it is.
Awful synthesis of my culture.
It rocks so hard, yeah.
It's so good.
Just like, such an insane thing.
Tombstone's one of those things, like, Tombstone's fine.
I like Tombstone.
Yeah, it's a great movie.
Great movie.
But there is a certain type of person that says, I'll be your Huckleberry, like, in conversation.
I forgot who it was, but somebody I was around said it the other day, and I was really caught off guard by it.
In a conversation?
That's super embarrassing.
They like said it as you know as like, oh, yeah, I'll do that with you whatever and it wasn't even to me anything But I was like surprised when they said it and I was like, oh I didn't see that coming at all.
That was a insanely corny Okay, the reason I wanted to talk about this guy Man, this guy is kind of a meme master.
He's kind of a prolific poster.
He's one of those guys who has 4,000 followers because he follows 4,000 people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That makes sense.
It's a very deranged thing that people on, you know, Democrats and Republicans do.
They just, like, do follow for follow and then somehow, like, still go viral, I guess.
But it's just...
Imagine seeing like 5,000 people in your news.
Like, how would you see anybody at all?
That's true.
You gotta do it.
He's also following 4,992 while only being followed by 4,324.
So, not a very good ratio.
It means he cares about his followers, too.
You know, like, engages every single, probably reads every single tweet, likes every single tweet.
And they probably get 4,000 likes on every single tweet, as well.
His bio says, lions don't care about the opinions of sheep.
A tyrant lives inside every leftist.
You can't vote Democrat and call yourself a good Christian.
And his location is the Wild West.
His cover photo is like fantasy art.
What is this from?
It's like that meme with the soldier in full gear with a helmet, and he's holding the shield out, protecting the damsel from the crowd.
It's like that same sort of art.
But then the damsel's kind of anime-y, but everything else is medieval?
Yeah.
It's the same style as that meme.
It's tight as fuck is what it is.
Wistful for some crusader empire that would exist in the modern era?
I don't know.
It's sick though, what we're saying.
The real lactose intolerance pinned tweet is, oh wouldn't you get- it's a Doc Holliday meme again.
It's talking about- And it says, I identify as a threat.
And then it's Doc Holliday, like a silhouette, like a, what is this called?
Like a, not a silhouette, but like a... Oh, it's not even, it's like the most minimal outline shadow.
Like a wheat paste kind of, kind of style.
Stencil-ish.
Stencil-ish, yeah.
Of Doc Holliday with his arms out, you know, sort of like, like King Kong ain't got shit on me kind of a look, but he's got two guns in his hand.
And at the bottom it says, my pronouns are fuck around slash find out.
I hate that joke so much.
Weird normie people who just don't know anything think this joke is great.
It's so weird.
I see it all the time.
I think it's super funny, dude.
I think it's a really good joke.
I'm sorry.
That's because you're a Doc Holliday kind of guy.
That's because you're like a Doc Holliday kind of guy, and I respect that.
Yeah, like when a customer yells at me or whatever, like they're mad at me, I'm like, oh, yeah, well, my pronouns are same day slash will call.
Pick your package up back at the building.
Biatch.
Got him.
Got him.
Wow.
I say biatch, I put some stinky ass on it.
Biatch.
I like that.
And that's a lot more funny than if I was just to say I'm gonna leave your package for will call because I don't want to deliver it to you because you're an asshole.
Have you ever like left the sorry I missed you note right in front of someone's face that was right there?
No.
Because that'd be really funny.
No, it wouldn't because then I have to make a second attempt on that package.
I'm like, hey, sorry, you're not here right now.
Here's a package.
I'm actually marked as no more second attempt.
We'll call.
I can't see you right now.
I know you're in front of my face, but you're not here.
So sorry, I can't leave this here.
Yeah, actually, any time I see somebody who has like a Trump flag or a, or a, you know, they're, I served in the military or maybe even like my son's a military veteran.
I say to their face, I say, Oh, I'm going to refuse your package.
You're not allowed.
You're not allowed to get your package.
Sorry.
You can't have it.
I can't have it.
I definitely want to carry this package back to the package car to own you.
You make them film themselves, identifying as they, and then also swearing their Antifa.
They have to take a video of themselves saying that.
And that's the only way you can get the package.
Okay, yeah, I'll try that next time.
That's how I win.
I love him doing like a pronoun joke like, you know, I identify as a threat.
Okay.
That sucks.
That's a bummer.
That's a bad way to live.
I identify as a threat.
Also, the FBI has no reason to ever arrest anybody on the right way.
But I'm like identifying as a threat.
I want everybody to know I'm a threat also at the same time.
Amazing.
But he's got the way he's got his arms out.
I'm just gonna say it.
Doc Holliday looks like flamboyant right here.
Yeah, yeah.
He looks like very sassy.
He looks like he's having fun.
He looks like he's very secure in himself.
That's Doc Holliday for you though.
And like, he looks like he's owning it.
Yeah, that's Doc Holliday for you though.
That was part of the whimsy.
So the post in question, from the real Lactose Intolerant, we're finally here to the post.
It's an image of what looks like a in-class test for like an elementary school.
We don't know what grade or what class because the top of the test just says civics.
Uh-huh.
And then for name, uh, name written in the hand of a very small child.
Totally.
It says Johnny, uh, but it's J O H N Y. That doesn't, yeah.
Which is like maybe your first clue that this child doesn't exist because that name doesn't exist.
Yeah.
I mean, there might be some, there's probably a white out there who did that.
A white probably did that.
Um, but, but I mean, no, it doesn't, it does not exist there.
Yeah.
J O H N N. There's gotta be two.
Yeah.
Um, wearing.
Okay.
So these are the questions.
It's, it's your classic four question quiz.
Fill in the blanks.
Fill in the blanks.
Wearing a mask shows I am a good blank.
And then Johnny with 1N.
What do you think is supposed to go there, Tony?
Wearing a mask shows I am a good... What do you think this fucking lib of TikTok teacher wanted to put in the blank?
Yeah, I don't know.
I am a good... Person?
Person?
Citizen?
Neighbor?
Yeah.
These are like the most charitable things.
I'm a good boy.
Yeah.
I'm a good boy.
But what, Johnny didn't write any of those words.
What John, I'm trying to pronounce it correctly.
Johnny.
What Johnny wrote was, wearing a good mask, wearing a mask shows I am a good sheep.
Sheep.
Whoa.
Wow.
Oh no.
Wow.
Okay, let's see where he's going with this.
Next question.
Climate change is a dangerous blank.
I mean, obviously, problem that we need to take care of.
What?
I thought it would've been a dangerous asset.
I thought it would've been, oh, a dangerous good thing.
Yeah, yeah.
A dangerous fun time.
A dangerous sexy time.
Climate change is a dangerous phrase.
Phrase, yeah.
No, climate change.
Okay, so what Johnny wrote was climate change is a dangerous scam.
Yep.
Yep.
This is an interesting test.
It's an interesting test.
These are interesting answers.
So this is like a third grader who loves the word scam.
Says the word scam.
Yep.
I got scammed the other day.
I got conned out of my lunch money.
Also, like, so this kid's supposed to be very smart, right?
That's kind of the whole thing.
But then the the Johnny thing is interesting.
Because, you know, a bit of a flaw.
Hey, I officially got a third grader right now.
As of as of last week, I got officially a third grader.
And, you know, that daggone kid spells her name right every time, baby.
Two N's?
He puts two N's?
Every time.
Yeah, actually.
Yeah.
Yeah.
P-E-N-N.
Yep.
Two N's.
Uh, okay.
Third question.
Assault rifles are a very blank problem.
Huge problem.
A very huge problem.
Can you actually rephrase this?
Are the only problem?
Yeah.
Assault rifles are a very only problem.
Yes.
That's what the teacher probably wanted.
For sure.
The very only problem.
Assault rifles are a very... This is what, this is what Johnny wrote.
Assault rifles are a very FAKE problem.
Yep.
Johnny's, Johnny's on a sick one right now.
Man, you were supposed to write real, Johnny.
You were supposed to write they were a real problem.
Yeah, please.
Please, Johnny.
They are real.
Finally, last question, and it's a humdinger.
It's not really a fill-in-the-blank, it's a combination multiple-choice and fill-in-the-blank.
Which, I mean, these crazy fucking public school teachers, you know.
Jesus Christ.
Civics are difficult.
Civics is a difficult thing and it forces you to really think and really confront what you're addressing.
I think that's why Johnny succeeded so well.
He really makes you, if it's a multiple-choice and a fill-in-the-blank, you gotta actually engage.
It goes, at the local communist meeting, I would bring...
Uh-huh.
A. Name tag.
Uh-huh.
B. Notepad.
Notepad.
Uh-huh.
C. Poems.
It's got to be C. D. Other.
And then there's a blank.
What would you put in there?
What would you put in that other?
So it's got... Okay, I don't know if you've ever taken like a test-taking class.
If they give you an other blank, you got to really think about that because there's a reason it's there, right?
I don't think I've ever seen an other blank on an actual test.
Maybe like on a census form when you don't identify as Caucasian, but on an actual test, a D is usually all of the above.
Typically, yeah.
But no, it's D, other, and Lil Jonny wrote that he would bring to the local communist meeting a flamethrower.
Whoa!
I would go set them all on fire.
Except for we don't really know that because although Johnny did fill in the blank, he did not select a letter.
He did not circle D. So we don't know.
Johnny might still be bringing poems.
Um, yeah, man, this is the totally real thing that happened.
Uh, and the real lactose intolerant knowing such real things, uh, captions this with raise them right.
And boy, do they impress you.
Yeah, and it's funny, because there's truth to that, but that's not what happened here.
This is not real.
There's truth to that if you have custody rights over your kid, sure.
Yeah, you get to actually do that, yeah.
My kid's always getting in some sort of... I'm like, hey, it's okay.
You don't have to ask him all the questions.
Not everyone has to know the stuff you know.
It's okay.
So what'd you do today, Real Lactose Intolerant?
Oh, I pretended to have a cool kid for the internet.
I wanted to impress my 4,000 followers that I followed back as part of our arrangement.
So I made up a fun kid to have.
Yeah, an alpha ass kid.
A kid who was way cooler than I am.
Uh, boy, this is embarrassing.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Some of these responses, we're going a little long, we're running short on time, but I gotta read some of these responses.
Sue Today writes, only wish I could see the teacher's face.
Ooh, me too.
Sunglasses emoji.
Cool.
I love that emoji.
The teacher's face, she would be like, She'd be like pulling her hair out.
She'd be doing the screaming at the sky thing.
Steam coming out of her ears.
And then I'd be over here.
I'd have fucking sunglasses on and just like a little smile.
Like I wouldn't even be laughing even though it would be hilarious.
I wouldn't even be making a sound.
I would just be chilling.
Yeah, because I would know that I just own them, you know?
FYI, and then she does like a double M-dash, which I don't think I've ever seen this before.
This is an interesting new punctuation mark for MAGA people.
Is this some HTML stuff?
What's going on here?
It's like, so there's the hyphen, there's the M, there's the dash, and then the M dash, which is long.
This is like two of the M dashes.
I'm impressed.
I like this one.
It looks good.
Uh, another response to this was really good.
Quits at quitting time.
That's a really good handle, by the way.
Quitting time?
Love that handle.
I like that.
It appears, oh no, it's got two I's in time.
Okay, it's not the real one.
Never mind, fuck you.
It's Quentin Ty Im.
Oh, bullshit.
Says, well done, trophy emoji.
I wonder what you would call a trophy emoji.
I wonder if there's another way of saying that.
Well done, trophy emoji.
Trophy emoji, yeah.
My daughter got points removed from an assignment on the first day of school this year for writing your mom in the pronouns section of the assignment.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
She was offered an opportunity to change it and get the points back.
She said, nah, I'll leave it.
American flag emoji.
Hell yeah.
So is your daughter just like non-gendered pronouns the whole year then?
Yeah.
Your daughter refuses to identify as she, her.
So that's pretty cool.
I don't know if you know that's what you're doing right now, but that's what you just did.
You know they're allowed to do that, right?
It's cool, that's fine.
No one gets upset when they do that.
I love the idea of like, you have to write your pronouns or you lose points on the assignment.
That kind of sounds fake too.
Do you think the kid wrote your slash mom?
See, she does.
It'd be better.
I mean, she said you are.
You capital.
You are mom.
And then the teacher should have said, yes, daughter.
I'm mom.
I don't know.
I was trying to do that dad joke in reverse, but.
It's okay.
What?
Holy shite.
Okay.
Real lactose intolerant replied, good for her.
I told my son if he got a zero on his citizen score that I'd be proud of him.
But he chose not to rebel because they require a good score to graduate.
Cursing emoji.
Quits replies, what?
Holy shite.
What state and district is this?
They're implementing the one world order state of mind in the schools.
This must be called out and stopped.
Just like half-assing it, just like trying to get there.
You know, she's like trying to bust and she's like getting, she's pretending, she's just kind of trying to fake it until she makes it.
She looked at her watch and realized it's been, this ain't gonna happen, I gotta go.
And then the real lactose intolerant applies.
My youngest has had openly political messages that I have chewed out the teacher and principal over.
