This week: I watched 3 Men and a Baby. Tony made a disgustingly good sandwich. Also: A man in Pennsylvania is tackled by cops after putting a Joe Biden "I DID THAT" sticker on a gas pump and yelling about it for a while Finally: There's a new urban legend about flashing your headlights at another driver, but this time, it's, thats right, it's real Help us do the show at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $3.11/month and get a bonus episode every week as well as instant access to hundreds of previous bonus episodes.
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're in the middle of the storm deserts.
Oh, they're in Barbados, and stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Joe Biden's personal death trooper squad in Pennsylvania is responsible.
We're documenting it.
Hey, what's up everybody?
How you doing?
Thanks for tuning in, as always.
I just want to say, big news!
We have started to use the YouTube page again.
Yeah!
We have begun uploading clips from episodes including, you might see some familiar bits in there, some favorite bits.
The Jeff Dunham Helper Bit is now memorialized, immortalized in YouTube form.
If you haven't subscribed already, you can go to youtube.com slash MinionDeathCult Click like you're supposed to when you go to the the channel.
You're supposed to click like on the channel You're supposed to click subscribe And just leave a comment on the channel, you know Leave a review for the five-star review on the channel say great service love these guys they they really put hack comedians like Jeff Dunham to task and I mean, more importantly, this is an opportunity for you to go to places that have public-facing screens and play it there.
Maybe do a flash mob at an Apple Store.
Go for it.
I think everyone needs to hear the Jeff Dunham story.
When I was going through that, listening to it again to upload it, I was surprised at how truly amazing that story is.
It's so good.
Listening back to it, there were parts of it that I didn't remember.
You know, like things he had done that I didn't remember.
And I was like, oh yeah, wow.
My misery was much more, like, fleshed out and well-rounded than even, like, time.
Time hadn't even grown that in size and it actually diminished it.
Yeah, I'm actually happy that you were able, that you didn't, like, bring something out in you that you hadn't been living with that the whole time.
That it was like, oh, I'm happy that I'm not there anymore kind of thing for you.
That makes me happy because I was, I was a little stressed listening to it.
Imagine you listening to it, wanting to, um, thinking you can put your headphones on to stop.
Hearing it, but you're wearing your headphones to listen to it and what kind of predicament that would do for your head.
I'm happy you didn't have to go through that.
My favorite moment, I think, in that recording I got of him, I mean, him doing the Jeff Dunham bits to himself is obviously the standout, but I think my personal favorite part is him singing to himself about crossing the street.
When he's coming back and singing to himself about how he has to look both ways while crossing the street.
Okay, you, you, I mean, I tried.
They were annoying, but their voice was okay.
Well, yeah, he was a he was a fucking church singer, man.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, so good.
Yeah, go go listen to that.
It's it's amazing.
I think someone I can't remember who it was.
I feel bad.
But I think someone did.
put me reading my antifa lover on the bar tv screen at some point that's awesome that's really great yeah so those live reads are there as well uh me reading from the the self-published uh while in prison mcb book Gents, let's talk about Feminist is on there.
Me doing a deep dive into QAnon Disney pedo conspiracy theories.
That's a little relevant right now, I would say.
It's still up there on the YouTube.
Me reading from Hillary.
I can't remember the subtitle of the Hillary book, but the one where she fucks Bill Clinton passionately.
Yeah.
That one's on there as well.
Also, if you just want to hear the audio versions of those live reads, you can do that by supporting us at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult, where we have My Antifa Lover.
I read that one.
All that audio is available on the Patreon.
Same thing with the weird Hillary fan fiction that some author wrote about how cool and sexy Hillary Clinton was in college.
Same thing with, yeah, the McBee Live Read, the QAnon Live Read, all that stuff is on there.
And we just did a fantastic, really maddening episode about...
Florida's ban of woke math textbooks.
Amazing, yep.
Coinciding with sort of the more, you know, populist grassroots effort of right-wing comedians going to city council meetings while pretending to be trans teachers And screaming out every stereotype that the Babylon Bee has fed them over the last six months, which is, yeah, pretty much just one stereotype, but you're familiar with it.
These are the ways that the right wing is currently working in concert to get teachers murdered, get trans people assaulted, get gay people ostracized.
Important stuff, also very Very cringe to listen to, but, you know, that's our duty.
It's what we do on this show.
It's really disgusting to watch these people, like, weaponize improv.
It's really fucked up, you know?
It was bad enough before.
Yeah, it was bad enough before it was a weird call for violence.
Yeah, but do go to youtube.com slash MinionDeathCult, subscribe there.
We're going to be releasing the segments as, you know, individual little, you know, 20 minute bites.
So, you know, you can go back and revisit specific segments you like or send them to your buddies, post them on social media, that sort of thing.
Yeah, I mean, I think it's- I like to fall asleep to YouTube rather than the podcast app, because sometimes the podcast app will just continue to play, but my computer will go to sleep.
So if you want to go to sleep to us, this is a way to do it.
Uh, how was your weekend, Tony?
Uh, boring as fuck.
I'm sorry.
It was- it was- it was fine.
It was okay.
Did you go see Everything Everywhere all at once?
No, I didn't do anything all weekend.
Like, I didn't do a thing.
It was pretty brutal.
Cool, well I'm glad I used podcast time to ask you about that.
It's okay, you know, people need to know that my life isn't extravagant, you know?
It's not all just like weed and seeing movies, you know?
I saw that sandwich you made, though.
Oh, that sandwich was banging.
That sandwich was banging.
That was really good.
Yeah, that was really, really good.
I gotta say, you know, shout-out Broccolini.
Shout-out Bitchin' Sauce.
I hate this.
It's a corny thing.
It's not corny?
That's good shit, man.
It's so good, but the name is just so awful.
I know I can just make it.
I'm gonna figure that out.
But it's so good.
It's so fucking good.
That is anti-southwest erasure to say that the word bitchin' isn't cool.
I think it's the little kid saying it on the packaging.
I always think it's weird when people put actual pictures of actual kids on their food products.
It's weird to me.
But that shit rules.
Yeah, it was a really good sandwich.
That was actually for sure the highlight.
No doubt.
I went to a movie.
I went to see a movie.
A little movie called The Northmen.
Ooh, all right.
The North Man.
It's about a racist guy doing white supremacy in the Viking era.
Someone was telling me it's kind of like Django for white people.
It gives you that same energy?
Yeah.
Same feeling?
Okay.
Yeah, except instead of, like, a German dentist who liberates the main character, it's a Russian witch.
Ooh, we like Russian witches.
Yeah.
No, I'm just kidding.
That's based off of a Twitter meme about how it's really... I saw this movie that was advertised about white people.
It was giving real racist vibes.
Yeah, for sure.
You know, it's not... They did a good job by stealing that imagery.
They really did a good job there.
Uh, it was good.
Very good.
I would recommend seeing it.
Lighthouse is still my favorite Robert Eggers movie.
By far.
Yeah.
Okay.
I watched two movies this weekend, actually.
I watched The North Man.
But then I watched a movie, not just about one guy getting revenge, but about three guys getting revenge on the woman who left a child at their front door.
Getting revenge on them for that?
Yeah, by attempting to hand the child over to heroin dealers.
Are you familiar with this movie?
No, not off the top of my head.
Nope.
A little movie called Three Men and a Baby.
Oh, I don't remember that movie.
I know it exists.
I just don't remember it.
Who stars in it?
It's a good threesome, right?
It's a great threesome.
You got Tom Selleck.
Yeah.
Mustache man himself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ted Danson.
Okay.
Who's the daddy.
And then Steve Guttenberg.
That's, okay, Steve- He's a guy, you know?
Shout out Steve Guttenberg, you know?
Steve Guttenberg's probably my favorite character in the movie because he tries to seduce a woman by doing his racist, blackface, cheetah, hepcat cartoon character puppet to her.
What?
That got wilder and wilder and then it... And it worked, right?
Uh, it only didn't work because the woman was still obsessed with her ex-boyfriend for some reason.
So she was like crying in Steve Guttenberg's bedroom while he was trying to have sex with her.
Did the puppet reference his dick?
I can't remember exactly what he said.
We love a puppet dick though, right?
Yeah I was too just like flabbergast he had it he had a whole routine so he's his character in the so they're all like bachelor playboy guys who share this insane penthouse apartment in uh some city probably New York Uh and Tom Selleck is an architect who's also a construction guy for some reason.
He's an architect.
That's the best kind of architect and the best kind of construction guy.
On site every day like you know on the 15th floor of the skyscraper that he designed.
I guess he's also building it.
That's awesome.
That's a badass.
Ted Danson's a failing actor, kind of the most relatable character because I think he's the one without money.
And then Steve Guttenberg is a comic strip artist.
And the cheetah guy, I can't remember the cheetah's character's name, but he's like a cool jazz cheetah.
And he's, hold on, he's like a puppet?
Because I looked up three men and a baby puppet and I'm not seeing anything.
Is that probably because it's bad?
No, it's, it's not a puppet normally.
He just has a puppet of his character.
It's like in, uh, it's like in Monkeybone.
How that guy draws Monkeybone, but then there's also, you know, merchandise for Monkeybone.
That makes sense.
But he's doing the voice over his shoulder and it's like a cheetah in a beret with, you know, Joe Cool, Joe Camel sunglasses on.
It's the cheetah.
It's the Cheetos cheetah.
Yeah, it's Chester Cheetah.
It's Chester Cheetah, yeah.
With a beret.
With a beret on, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, and he's like...
Hey, pretty mama.
You know, he's like, and I, and I was watching this and I, you know, it was a lazy Sunday afternoon and I like, or pre-noon and I was like, I paused it and I was like, Ani, you got to get over here and see this.
And she, and she came over and I was like, this is how you got to, this is like what you did when you were self-aware enough to know that blackface was bad.
Like, Blackface was on the outs.
This is 1987.
I mean, you know.
It would still happen in a few photos.
Don't tell Billy Crystal.
Don't tell Billy Crystal or Jimmy Kimmel.
Blackface was, you know, on the outs.
Or Ted Danson, for that matter.
Or Ted Danson!
His was so gnarly!
Don't tell a lot of guys.
His is so funny!
It was so gnarly!
It was so bad!
It was just like... It was like Whoopi Goldberg.
Wasn't he with Whoopi Goldberg at the time or something like that?
Yeah, she gave him permission.
Oh, she just gave a lot of people permission for a lot of things.
It's like you just had to assume the identity of a cartoon character and then you could do blackface.
Chester Cheetah is kind of like blackface too, right?
No, Chester Cheetah is just black.
I don't know who voiced Chester Cheetah, but Chester Cheetah is for sure black.
Is Joe Camel supposed to be black?
He's kind of supposed to be black, right?
I think the dick on his face is supposed to be black.
Um, but I don't know about Joe, Joe himself.
Cause he's like always at jazz clubs.
I mean, shooting pool, jazz and shooting pool, those are, you know, they transcend race.
That's true.
That's, that's so true.
Uh, no, I think, I think all the cool cartoon characters, Tony the Tiger is black.
That's right.
Yeah, because he's a good athlete, you know.
Yeah, he's a Bengal.
Yeah, so I mean like all the cool cartoon characters.
I mean even Bart Simpson's black, some say.
So yeah, all the cool cartoon characters are black.
Yeah, Hermes, Conrad.
Even though it is a black voice actor doing that voice, it's still kind of like blackface.
Who penned the character?
That's really important.
Who wrote it?
Who designed the character?
Who designed Hermes?
That's analog blackface.
A lot of people talk about digital blackface.
That's the precursor.
We couldn't have digital blackface.
The big thing about when it was analog you still kind of respected the craft because there was craft in it but you know in the digital age all you do is just you just use an avatar or you react to react gifs and it's real lazy and so there's nothing to respect.
Yeah totally.
Yeah so three minute a baby yeah they they think the baby is heroin and vice versa.
Like the heroin dealers think the baby is heroin, the three minute a baby think the heroin is a baby, and all kinds of antics ensue.
And then there's like a really cute montage where they've gotten the heroin dealers arrested and it's like they like set the heroin dealers up in a police sting and they get them arrested.
And then it's like, okay, nope, yeah, there's nobody above them to worry about.
Definitely not.
That's it.
It's over.
And then there's like a cute montage of them all, like, playing with the baby and doing various activities with the baby.
And it's great.
Highly recommended.
I mean, just, it's a whole vibe.
Just all the shorts and chest hair in that movie is amazing.
It's like guys being dudes, right?
It's bros being guys?
Well, so it's bros being guys becoming men.
Whoa, okay, all right.
I like that.
That's what it is.
I like that.
Maybe when I'm done with it, I'll be ready to raise a kid.
There's a funny scene where Tom Selleck, he doesn't want to commit to his girlfriend.
They're all kind of like man children or whatever.
But because he's had to take care of this baby, he slowly He becomes less selfish he becomes more concerned and more mature and the way they exemplify this is by the other heroin dealers like break into the house and tie up the babysitter and go through everything looking for the heroin and he's like so worried but he's only worried about the baby he's not worried about you know his beautiful his
Basketball highlight tapes that have had the tape pulled out of them and all of that.
That's beautiful, I love that.
And he finds Mary, the baby, unharmed.
Sorry, I didn't mean to spoil it.
Shit, okay.
I'm still gonna watch it, it still sounds really intriguing.
Sorry, the baby doesn't get brutally murdered in Three Men and a Baby.
Sorry, the baby was not full of heroin the whole time.
And he finds her and she's okay and he's like oh thank god and the movie really sends that as a moment of like whoa wow he's grown up because he cares if a baby didn't get murdered.
Yeah you know what's really great about about this I'm looking at like images of this movie I think they're all supposed to be like our age now or even younger I think they're supposed to be younger which is so wild because like Late 20s and the late 80s looked way different.
They look really old.
They look old as shit.
I'm in my mid-30s and they look way older than me.
Every single one of them.
Tom Selleck is like on a rowing machine for half of this movie.
It's insane.
He's on a rowing machine.
He's on a rowing machine shirtless and then it does a hard cut to him fucking running through the city without a shirt like running errands just like running through traffic and his jogging shorts and shit I'm just like this guy's a maniac I love that but there yeah the movie starts out with this no this is what I was gonna say the movie starts out with this like penthouse party and I was like it's a rager it's such a nice nice house or apartment or whatever
And I'm like, I don't believe this movie because I have not seen a single gram of cocaine on screen whatsoever.
And then we cut to the back room where Steve Guttenberg is trying to seduce this girl and I'm like, oh, here we go.
But then he pulls out the cheetah puppet and I'm like, all right, that's not what I was talking about.
And then finally, we do get drugs in the movie, but it's $250,000 worth of heroin.
That's a leap.
thousand dollars worth of heroin that's a leap that's a leap but um hi it's on disney plus There's a lot of good, like, touchstone pictures on Disney.
Like, Sister Act is on there.
I'm probably going to watch that one next.
Speaking of Whoopi.
I just want to make it really clear that Alexander's the one that's pushing the grooming side on you and not me.
I would never, I would never tell you to do that.
There's full frontal in Three Men and a Baby, by the way.
Full frontal Tom Selleck?
No.
Bullshit.
The baby.
The baby?
Dude, it's so funny.
Steve Guttenberg...
He paints up the whole penthouse with his shitty comic drawing.
It looks like a Venice Beach boardwalk artist designed their entire interior.
It's awful.
Steve Guttenberg is so cute in these pictures.
Yeah, he's a cutie.
They're all pretty cute.
He's like the most boyish looking one in this one.
He looks like a young man, but he still looks like in his mid late thirties.
They all look so old.
Well, let's get to the episode here, Tony.
What do you say?
Yeah!
Yeah, why not?
So I just have a couple fun things I wanted to talk about.
I thought we would address.
The first fun thing I wanted to discuss on the show is a news story about a man getting tackled by police officers for putting up a Joe Biden sticker at a gas station.
This is a great story, because it really did make everybody kind of pivot, think about their stance, you know?
Because usually, you know, when you start a story off with like, someone getting tackled by the police, I'm like, MOTHERFUCKER!
Well, did he run?
And then they're like, oh yeah, he did run.
And you're like, yeah, well good.
Yeah, good, good.
That's true.
But then you find out it was because he was putting the good sticker.
He was vandalizing with the good sticker.
And you're like, fuck these jack-booted thugs.
I mean, how else are we gonna, honestly?
Cause you, I mean, you're talking about, you're talking about the good sticker.
You're talking about, well, tell us what happened.
Yeah, I'm talking about the, I did that Joe Biden sticker that you put, you know, you buy a thousand of them for $20 and you, uh, you put them everywhere.
And there's a, you put them on the chicken, you put them on the back of your car.
My thigh, when I'm having like troubles, like in the, and you know, I'm like, how am I supposed to maintain an erection in this climate?
And it's him doing it.
And it's cool.
Cause then he gets a laugh and we get to move on.
It's a good way to do that.
Um, don't actually stick it though.
Yeah boy that is a very good sticker.
It's a high quality sticker.
I wish his inflation uh was was everywhere.
You feel me?
You feel me?
This is from Fox News.
Pennsylvania man arrested charged after slapping Biden I did that stickers on gas pumps.
A man was criminally charged last week following his arrest in Lancaster, Pennsylvania after affixing satirical stickers of President Biden onto the gas pumps at a local Turkey Hill gas station.
So Turkey Hill isn't the name of the city or something?
That's like the brand of gasoline.
That's like the gas station.
I feel like I'll never hear about that because I feel like that doesn't meet any of the standards for California gas, I mean.
I feel like there's no way we can get Turkey Hill gas around here.
Thomas Richard Glazuski of Manor Township was charged last week with a misdemeanor of resisting arrest, according to Lancaster Online.
He was charged with summary offenses of disorderly conduct, harassment, and criminal mischief.
And they have a sticker of, it kind of looks like Bill Clinton, but I guess it's Joe Biden.
Yeah, pointing at the gas price and saying, I did that!
As we've seen, a classic sticker.
Classic sticker, you know, you're really mad reading about this guy, you know, having his first amendment rights of being able to put stickers on stuff, uh, uh, infringed upon by these police, but they break it up by showing you what the sticker looks like.
And you're like, Oh, it's kind of funny.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I'm not, I'm not too mad at that.
Also the way they're saying it, it does.
Cause if you're like slapping us, you're supposed to just slap this on the pump that you're using and like on the way out.
Like, if you're getting caught doing this, you're kind of making a scene, I feel like.
Well, let's hear what happened.
Let's give him the benefit of the doubt.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Very next paragraph, Glazuski screamed, I did that!
I did that!
That's what I did!
While pointing to the Biden stickers.
That's, dude, that's meta.
I want to say, that's your first mistake, man.
Under no circumstances do you want to scream at the cops about admitting to the crime you just committed.
Yeah, that's amazing.
It's so funny, like, you know, I hate privilege discourse or whatever, but Like, first of all, putting a sticker on something is pretty easy to get away with.
Certain podcasts have been known to do it all the time.
All the time.
Regularly.
Never like growing up never breaking any crimes or anything and just suddenly like feeling like you're the resistance.
You know Joe Biden kicked your president out of office and so now you're like you're one of you know you're dirty dog in the dirt you know you gotta yeah you gotta fight you know you gotta go underground with guerrilla warfare and all that and you just have no idea how to do it.
Just zero.
He's like, I did the sticker!
That's what I've always thought is kind of funny about these stickers is that these people don't like to do things quietly.
So the fact that they're just leaving a sticker behind, I do feel like every time we just don't see it.
Every time this is stuck, someone's like, oh, hey, check out this hilarious sticker on this pump right here.
Huh?
How about this good sticker, everybody?
But then he really blew it when he said I did that.
Yeah.
It's a thankless job slapping stickers.
It's so funny.
I said this like a year or two years ago and I feel like this is the this is another I don't know you know notch in my bedpost for this theory which is like with the whole With the Patriot thing, with the QAnon thing, with the Punisher skull logo, with the Let's Go Brandon.
I feel like this moment in political discourse is really giving these people the feeling of shopping at Hot Topic for the first time in their lives.
Absolutely, yeah, that's very true.
It is like they finally feel like some sort of counterculture, some sort of subversive niche subculture that they can buy merchandise for, that they can like signal to each other, you know, even though their signal is the most obvious shit in the world.
Yeah, like MAGA hats and shirts are really just MCR shirts.
Yeah.
Like it's really the same thing.
Well, you know, not, but for them it is.
It's the same, like, fringe identity.
It's even less than that.
It's like the Can't Sleep Clowns Will Eat Me shirt.
Oh, that's, yeah, okay, yeah.
So it's not even about your taste, it's about just like that you're a fringe.
Like, that's what the Facebook algorithm shirts are, where it's like, my boyfriend bought me this shirt and he won't hesitate to rip a man limb from limb.
You're just jealous because the libs don't get, because you're not triggering the libs.
Kind of like the, because the voices aren't talking to you?
Something like that, I like that.
Yeah, because what's the original, uh, I hear voices and they don't like you?
Yeah, yeah, or like you're just jealous because the voices aren't talking to you or something like that.
Same thing, yeah.
Those kind of things.
Yeah, you're just jealous because the voices aren't saying, let's go Brandon.
They're saying, fuck Joe Biden.
They're saying, fuck Joe Biden.
Because the voices won't be edited.
They won't be silenced.
Um, another person was like, well, so, so the stickers thing is just that.
It's like, these are the first time these guys have put stickers on anything.
You know what I mean?
Like, like not a decal on the back of their window.
I mean like a, like slapping a sticker on something.
Right?
Because these people in the comments are like, what the fuck just happened?
This man got arrested for putting a sticker on a thing?
That's what's really funny is they don't like you said they don't view this as like vandalism.
Yeah we'll get into the comments specifically but like no they don't view it as vandalism but they don't it's like they don't know it's vandalism I think charitably they just they don't even like know that and it's like well these are the laws that you have been crowing about These are my, my, my brother.
These are the fucking, this is what you wanted.
Like these are the laws you've been enforcing this whole time.
Like ask any skater if he's going to, uh, yeah, slap a sticker on a building in front of a cop.
Yeah, yeah.
And the poor cop was like, man, this hurts me more than it hurts you, man.
I didn't even want to do this.
So let me play the audio from this, which is, it's kind of loud because it, cause, so there's a Facebook post that captured this on film and I'll, and I'll try to kind of like narrate what's happening.
Um, it's being filmed from like almost across the street.
so there's a lot of wind and traffic noise, but you can kind of hear what's going on.
Screaming, I did that.
That's what I did!
That's what I did!
He's still parked at the pump.
There's two cop cars flanking him.
And he walks back to the pump pointing at the sticker that he left.
Again, just like leaving no room for question.
Okay, so at this point, he runs full speed back at the gas station, like the store.
I think some people were saying he was running at the gas station employee who is more than likely the person who called the cops on him for probably just screaming in the in the parking lot about Joe Biden.
I feel like what happened was the guy saw him put the sticker on and he was like, hey man, take that off please.
And he's like, oh, what are you going to do, call the cops?
And the guy was like, yeah.
He's like, cool, call the cops.
And then he waited for this to happen.
Like the only explanation that doesn't make that isn't just oh this guy's suffering from mental illness is this guy is like a liberal Cassidy Campbell gonzo comedian pretending to be a Trump supporter Very confused, screaming at a gas pump about a sticker he just put on the gas station.
And that's why it seems like it makes no sense to be screaming at cops about the crime he just committed.
Yeah, that would make some sense, but no.
So yeah, he breaks into a sprint full speed at the gas station store, whatever that part of it is called, and the cops tackle him.
Yeah, like, I mean, you're running full speed, but you know they're not gonna let you do anything, right?
Like, you're probably not expecting to get tackled, but you also, it's a coward move.
You know you're just gonna look like you're, like, wild, but you're, you're just gonna, they're not gonna let you hurt the guy in front of you.
It's an easy way out, yeah.
- Yeah. - The cop is struggling with the guy.
He eventually, uh, gets him handcuffed.
- I'll definitely play the second video. - Giant man's my head!
Just slam me in here!
Let's see some blood man!
Let's see some fucking blood!
Oh, oh!
Dude, he's trying to kick the cops as they put him into the back of the car.
He's screaming, let's see some blood!
Come on, slam me in there!
Dude, if I were to just like walk by a cop and just say, good afternoon, let's see some blood, I would get murdered.
Like, murder for sure.
There's like no way around it.
Okay, um... Glazuski is scheduled for a preliminary hearing on April 26th before District Judge Brian Chudzik.
The stickers blaming Biden for skyrocketing gas prices have popped up at gas pumps nationwide.
A hundred pack of such stickers runs from $10 to $13 on Amazon.
uh so i got a lot of of responses here uh probably won't read all of them but man man are they good um just really fascinating stuff red map on the fox news comment section says BLM burns police vehicles and police stations and cops run away.
Someone puts a decal on a gas pump and everybody loses their minds!
I'm just kidding.
And gets pummeled by cops.
There's a disturbance in the force.
I like how you did the everyone loses their mind thing but there was there was already like another one coming but it's I forgot about the second one.
It's okay because like it's still just like that stupid but oh I don't I hate this because this is that thing where I wish we lived in the world that they they say because like you know what like it's the cops won the cops won those things like there are no more like BLM protests anymore like the cops won those What are you talking about?
They're not running away from anything.
The cops, like, pushed an old man down and gave him a hemorrhage for standing around during a protest.
Yeah, and they got away with it.
Nothing happened from that.
BLM burns police vehicles and police stations and cops run away.
Yeah, well, that's because they had fire, dude.
Cops are... I mean, any human would be afraid of fire.
Of course they ran away.
You had a sticker, my guy.
Sorry it wasn't scary enough to the cop.
Maybe bring something a little stronger next time.
Next time maybe set the gas pump on fire.
Like that would probably have him run away.
It was as if I heard a thousand voices cry out at once.
Let's go Brandon.
There is a disturbance in the forest.
Don't worry.
There is another.
There is another.
2020 and then just 2024.
He has a sister!
Kazuski does.
Going along with this sticker yeah this was the number one response was that BLM like they they burned a cop alive and literally nothing happened to them.
They were chasing cops with other cops limbs they were on fire.
Val Rockerchik now this is in the rumble comment section was which was uh interesting in a different way uh a little spicier I'll say it's the free speech upload service uh Val Rockerchik says a fucking sticker but she like She did FKN for fucking... You don't have to do that on Rumble.
You're allowed to curse on Rumble.
It's the cool one.
It's the principle.
They know they're allowed to.
That's not the point sometimes, you know?
A fuckin' sticker?
Cops don't even a great gaff- graffiti artist nor taggers.
Bet thus was a bither dem state.
Yet BLM can-can bum-burn cops in police stations, spit in them, and rob stores up to $1,000.
Trump must come back and save us!
I just, like, I love all of it.
Just, like, No, no, no.
They didn't just burn the cops and the police stations.
They spit on them too.
Yeah, but they made sure that it wasn't enough spit to put them out.
That's how fucked up and calculated these motherfuckers are.
They were treating them like a blunt.
They were just putting a little bit of... because he was getting a run in them.
And then also just up to a thousand dollars.
You didn't have to put that part.
This was that, okay, so combined with BLM can literally murder cops and they're put on the street the next day, which is a thing that is in these comment sections.
Also, you know, a certain type of people, they can put stickers and graffiti wherever they want and they literally never get arrested by cops.
Just go look at FBI crime statistics.
They never get arrested by cops at all.
Yet, this guy puts one sticker on a gas pump and screams about it for 10 minutes in a public area and he gets the cops called on him?
What the frick?
What the hell?
But another one was, oh, people are allowed to loot and shoplift stores up to $1,000 and get away with it for free.
It's like, no, that's just like, what's below a felony?
Is it just like some story where they're like so-and-so walked out with $999 worth of product and they couldn't touch them?
That's what that's what the comments were for sure but I think there is some like You know, new California law or in some state law where it's like they don't put you in prison if it's under grand theft or whatever.
Yeah.
Something like that.
If it's shoplifting, right?
So I love this like... So a lot of people were complaining about that.
Oh, you can show he should have shoplifted and then he wouldn't have gotten, you know, tackled by the people were making up stories about this same gas station.
They were like, Oh, meanwhile, at this exact what's it called?
Goose Hill Market, Turkey, Turkey Ranch, gas station.
Turkey Hill gas station?
Meanwhile, at this exact Turkey Hill location, a man shoplifted $500 worth of merchandise, and the store clerk came out and told the cops, and they didn't do anything about it.
Like, just making stuff up.
I saw that comment twice in these comment sections.
Amazing.
And it's like, okay, so what is the Biden I did that sticker about?
It's about rising prices.
It's about rising gas prices, rising meat prices, rising home prices.
All that shit's real.
All that shit really is happening.
It's not because of fucking Biden.
We've been on this trajectory for a long time.
Things have only gotten more expensive.
Wages have only stagnated.
I mean, this is a fact, not a secret either.
So, it's very funny for the most, like, vociferous critics of, quote, inflation, of, you know, prices being unsustainable.
I can't even afford gas anymore, except I do, because I put a sticker on the pump every time I go, right?
Yeah, yeah.
But I can't afford to live.
Also, the people who are shoplifting?
Go arrest them!
And it's like, I don't know man, maybe they have the right idea.
If everything is so expensive and unsustainable, aren't the people who are shoplifting from grocery stores, like, don't they have more reason to be doing that?
Well, yeah, that would never, that would never like be an option though.
Because even in their minds, they're mad because they still have to drive the truck.
But they worked hard to get to the truck and they would always be able to fill up a car.
Do you know what I'm saying?
So they can always take a step back.
They can always tighten their belts a little bit.
But they'll never have to steal regular stuff because they're above that.
Even though that would change things and make things better.
That would be more effective.
That's still below them.
It's totally below them.
They still have the least to complain about.
Like, I think they probably do have stuff to complain about.
It's usually not what they're actually complaining about, but they do have stuff to complain about.
They just have the least amount of stuff to complain about.
Because, yeah, the person shoplifting is like, you know, I realize there's like rich people who get their kicks from shoplifting or whatever, like, you know, rich teens who get their kicks from that shit or whatever.
It's like, but yeah, it's probably not a fucking, you know, somebody who owns a house isn't going out and shoplifting stuff, you know?
Yeah, not so much.
Another thing I really liked about this comment is that if people knew about what goes into graffiti artists and taggers getting arrested, they would be furious.
Because it's some fucking Patriot Act shit.
Everyone I know that's ever got caught up for that, their house was raided and they got They just got in trouble because the police end up finding like spray cans and like you know graph books and like they go in your house.
That's intent to distribute brother.
Exactly yeah exactly though and like there's no um there's no cause except for you're an artist that's literally the only cause like they will have to come in your house and they do it to kids too like if they knew about that they they like I I feel like they should be pissed because that's a pretty gnarly violation.
Yeah, I got sidetracked, but it's like, anybody doing fucking graffiti?
Anybody who knows anything about anything knows you can and will be arrested for doing fucking graffiti.
And a huge part of it is doing it secretly and not yelling, I did that.
Later on in these responses we'll get to like the specifically uh anti-cop responses they're you know they hate these cops for doing this to this you know this fine upstanding young man who was just slapping a sticker on a on a you know just using his political speech you know this is peaceful protest they're super pissed at the cops for doing this they think prices are way too fucking high
But yeah, they're more than happy to still send the hated cops after people who are suffering from high prices more than they are.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's just like, it's, it really shows you about these people's worldview where you're like, I sympathize with him not liking the cops throwing this guy down for just putting a sticker up.
Yeah, they're still assholes, like you can hear them being assholes, like that's just what they do, they're assholes.
Yeah, totally.
And you want to sympathize with this sentiment, even if it is being expressed in like a right-wing space, this anti-cop sentiment.
But it's not, it's just, it's purely self-interested.
It's purely because they themselves would have and will continue to put stickers on gas pumps.
That's all it is.
Absolutely, yeah.
Tyrone Shoelaces in the Fox News comments section says... I feel like that's racist.
I couldn't tell you the origin of it, but I feel like Tyrone Shoelaces is racist.
Yeah, I don't know.
Doesn't it just feel that way?
It does.
I got 200 stickers for $7.99 on Amazon.
That's amazing.
That's a deal.
Can we get them reprinted?
Where are they getting these printed at?
It's a very cheap place to live, I'm sure.
I got 200 for $7.99 on Amazon.
I've been having a great time with them.
I own a house in New Jersey and a second home in Lancaster County.
I have no intention of stopping.
So yeah, again, just like, I have two homes.
I have to commute, goddammit, I have to commute between my two homes and that takes a lot of gas.
Got a lot of cars, gotta fill them up.
Goddamn you, Joe Biden.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like... I liked the last part.
My local station has left them up.
They probably just... They just know it's futile to take it down.
They... Because you told them you have 200.
And they're like, fuck man.
It's very funny because...
Gas stations, of course, love that you're blaming Joe Biden for their high prices.
That's so true.
Now, I've heard stuff that it's like, oh, well, the actual markup at a gas station isn't that high.
They make their money on selling, you know, food or drinks or whatever.
I don't believe that.
Yeah, I think it's probably not the margin we're thinking it is, but it's still pretty gnarly.
Uh, but yeah, of course they love you putting, hey, uh, wow, God, we all hate Joe Biden for, gosh, he's making us charge people money for gas.
If, if I had my way, the gas would be free, you know, but Joe Biden.
Bad news everybody!
Apparently the baseline entry for the Patreon is going to be $3.75!
Thanks Joe Biden!
God fucking... God!
Dammit Joe Biden!
So they didn't accept the paperwork we submitted to make the Patreon free?
Oh, they accepted it.
They went over it and they denied it and that's where they raised the price.
Yeah, they saw that we wanted to make it free and they said you can't do that.
We tried, people.
God damn it, we tried.
We didn't vote for him.
I want to make that very clear.
So we had nothing to do with that.
I voted for Kamala.
Exactly.
She said she was down, but it was out of her hands.
FemterDog567, I loved this exchange right here.
FemterDog567 says, so burning the flag is considered free speech, but placing a sticker criticizing Brandon is not?
And yeah, that's 65 upvotes.
Again, if you decide to burn a flag on a gas station pump, you're probably going to get in some sort of trouble, but you should try it.
I think that should be free speech.
If that's what these guys want to do, I think it should be free speech.
I'm just burning a flag.
Ice Station Zebra replies, it was my flag to burn.
And he's got 31 downvotes on this.
I really like that.
I feel like that person still loves America.
Possibly.
CowHorse54 replies, it's my sticker to put up.
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I mean, obviously it's not your gas pump to put on.
That's beside the point, Tony.
I'm not vandalizing the gas pump, I'm vandalizing the sticker when I peel off the back of it.
That's true, it's useless after that.
You can't use it again.
I'm enhancing the gas pump with my sticker for free.
You're welcome.
I should be charging the gas station.
Uh, and then, yeah, Bob Surra replies to Ice Station Zebra about it being his flag to burn.
Bob Surra says, no, it belongs to our country.
If you want to burn it, move to Russia.
So I love this.
It's really simple idea.
I won't spend too much time on it, but I love it because it's like burning a flag is considered like vandalism and hate and like not protected free speech because the flag belongs to all of us.
It's all our flag and if you burn that flag you're burning part of my property which is America.
Now, if you put a sticker on somebody's gas pump, that is free speech because that's your sticker.
You paid for it.
You paid for your right to be able to do that.
I wish all of America considered that sticker our sticker, but unfortunately, Like what?
A real small minority, like 20% of the people who voted, you know, who are the people who voted for Joe Biden.
They don't consider that their sticker.
No, no.
I'm free to do with it.
I'm free to do with it what I want.
But it's your flag whether you like it or not.
Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah, no, me putting a sticker on your shit, that's free speech because it's the good sticker.
You burning your flag, it's not free speech because it's my flag.
W88PhysicsPackage says, my home was burglarized and the police did nothing.
Good to see they're cracking down on sticker crime though.
Sorry you're a baby, man.
I'm sorry you're a baby and you think that's what cops do.
I mean, maybe you're finally growing up.
I guess this is growing up, Tom DeLonge.
I wish that somebody in there would have been like, well, did you have a gun?
Did you try to shoot them?
I would never get burglarized myself.
Also, I like the idea of the cops being like, hey, listen, so we were going to get to your burglary, but this guy's putting these stickers up.
Yeah.
We got to catch the I did that bandit.
We have an idea who did it because we saw a video of a guy saying he did it and pointing at it, but it gets confusing because you get that, and it's Brandon telling you that he did that.
Oh, shit.
And so, you know, is the guy saying he did that?
Is he being brainwashed by Brandon?
I don't know.
Uh, Grill Master P. Oh, it's so good.
It's pretty good.
Oh, man.
That made A. Hey, make you say mmm.
Am I right?
Grill Master P. Make you say mmm-mmm.
Grill Master P says, those stickers are the truest media we have.
I think our leaders in Washington could learn a lot from these stickers. - Yes.
Dude, you know that Marjorie Taylor Greene's gonna put that sticker on a bill.
Yeah, and then the Democrats will refuse to sign it.
Motherfuckers.
Or however it is they vote.
They would.
Something like that.
Yeah.
Something about voting.
It's gonna trigger somebody.
It's true though.
The stickers is true.
The stickers is the best, the finest reporting we have right now.
It's because like we said earlier, there's so many things that we like to joke about and we look at and we think to ourselves, well, you know, where's the lie?
But yeah, that sticker It's not that... Joe Biden did not make it that price.
Like, if you really feel that, if you really feel like he's the one guy, he's the reason all this stuff is happening, he's just one guy, eh.
It's easy math.
This is another thing that people were hyper-focused on.
Remember when I said they don't understand that it's vandalism?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So Richard D378 says, Okay, how is it against the law for speaking the truth?
Joe has bragged about his war on fossil fuels.
So why does he not take responsibility for his actions?
His own words, come on, man.
If people ask why we hold him accountable, the reason is simple.
We watched the media lie to us for five years now about Trump.
The sad part is we do not have to lie about Joe.
He did do this.
Just like he told Putin that he was okay with an incursion of the Ukraine?
I remember that.
What a Mess replies, these stickers are not, quote, satirical, end quote.
They are factual.
These stickers are not a joke.
These are not... This is... They're historians.
We are historians.
Does it look like I'm fucking joking, bro?
That's why I always take a picture of the sticker on my phone so it's documented.
So I can tell my kids' kids one day all the things that Joe Biden did.
Give me a picture of ground beef, a picture of a gallon of milk, and a picture of your grandma!
Picture of your grandma just nagging.
They think it's legal to put a sticker somewhere if the sticker's true.
They think that he got, like, arrested for fake news?
That's like what they think he was the offense.
They're like, no, it was true!
The sticker's true!
I'm gonna go put a Google LASD gangs sticker on all of like their cars.
Which is true.
People hate that.
People hate that sticker.
And it's not even like a statement.
Google LASD gangs is true.
That's a true factual statement.
It's just like a suggestion.
Yeah.
You can do that.
Google it.
It's a thing you can do.
Uh, but yeah, they were like, oh, so telling the truth is illegal.
Wow.
1984 much?
George Orwell, Animal Farm much?
Wow.
George Orwell, more like, more like Joe Brandon.
Yeah.
Uh, wow.
Catcher in the Rye much?
I mean, obviously.
This is what it feels like.
This is the, this is, I remember when the stickers went up right before the Dust Bowl.
Remember when the stickers went up?
We saw it coming and we're just trying to let people know again that he's doing that.
He did that.
Azondla said, people just put one on each time they fill up.
The pumps are covered.
Yeah.
Which I'm sure is true, like in any fucking red state or red county across, like I have seen them in Washington State.
I'm sure you've seen them in California.
Oh, I've seen them a ton where I'm at.
It's just so, like, I mean, it's the perfect act of political, you know, what do you call it?
Resistance.
You buy something on the internet and you put a sticker on it or whatever.
It's just funny to think that there's already stickers on the pump and you're like, fuck.
Where else is I gonna put it?
All right, I'm just gonna put it, maybe there's a little spot right here that's not completely covered.
That's where I'll put mine.
Well I mean that one's cool but I like mine because it kind of has like a slightly like a jibber jab larger head you know?
And he's pointing more directly at it where that one just had like a thumbs up and a regular sized head.
I also think I have like italic extra bold.
I mean you know I have impact extra bold.
Yeah.
And I think that's better than what they have so I'm just gonna use mine instead.
I actually I paid $30 for 20 holographic I did that stickers.
You know what pisses me off is they're all like die-cut.
They're all like nice.
They're all nice vinyl stickers.
I've never seen a bad one.
I think they're on like rolls.
Like they're not quite die-cut.
They're still shaped.
I think they call that one kiss-cut.
Kiss cut yeah that's I think because that's what a lot of the cut they were like I got a roll of 5,000 that I've been uh this is what I do with my life now I put these on some guy was like uh I put them on every pot every gas station I pass even when I don't need to get gas that's so many that's all the time just pulling over it's like man I if Joe Biden wasn't president I still don't think your life would have that much meaning man I'm sorry yeah what were you doing that time before
I mean, that was back when things were simple.
You didn't have to focus on putting stickers at every grocery store or gas station.
You could just sit back and enjoy life.
Yeah, yeah.
You could spend that time on Facebook instead.
I know it exists.
I hope it exists.
If someone sees it, please send it to me.
There has to be a picture of somebody at their bro's funeral with the sticker pointing to the casket.
That has to exist, right?
Like that, I need that.
I need that.
Come on, man.
Come on, man.
Hey, listen, if I die, y'all can do that.
It's okay.
I mean, this is like, you know, people talk about Trump derangement syndrome and how crazy Trump made the liberals, which of course he did.
I don't remember the liberals taking things this far.
They like marched and stuff.
Yeah.
People did put... I think the most common anti-Trump sticker I saw was the uh... What's the one that compared him to... Oh, STD.
Stop Donald Trump.
Oh yeah, that was a good one.
That was a good one.
Yeah, you put an STD sticker on your car to own Donald Trump.
I like the one that had like a cat and it was kind of a tough cat and it says, this pussy grabs back.
Yeah.
That was fucking people up.
Those were like, yeah, those are still like decals you put on your own shit.
Like there was no like nationwide, I'm going to buy a thousand fuck Donald Trump stickers and yeah, put them everywhere I can.
This is like, I think a new level of derangement towards a pretty bog standard neoliberal president.
And that's also why the left and liberals lose, you know?
Because we need to buy more stickers.
Yeah, totally.
We need to buy more stickers.
And you know some stickers that would really stick it to them?
Bart Simpson stickers.
Bart Simpson bootleg stickers.
You can find it at MainDeathCult.
MainDeathCult.com and the store.
Those stickers would really change things, I think.
You know, we have a really cool sticker right now that I think these guys might enjoy, which is, yeah, Bart Simpson saying, what is it?
I forgot.
I forgot what the sticker says.
I'm sorry.
I can find, like, two seconds.
Police are just the protective force that maintains the status quo for the ruling elite, man.
Yeah.
It's so good.
And by that, we, of course, mean Joe Biden, Joe Brandon.
They're preserving the Joe Brandon status quo.
So yeah, go to MinionDeathCult.com, folks, and start putting those stickers on the pumps.
Stickers is how we're going to change things, y'all.
They're doing it.
So a few more comments here.
Now we're getting into the good stuff.
This is on the Rumble comment section.
Crusaders 2021 says, I normally back the blue, but in this case, those cops should be fired or shot in the face.
It's one of the two.
I think you should either fire them or shoot them in the face.
Yeah.
Normally, I'm a big fan of the police.
However, in this case, I do believe they should have their throats slit.
Yeah.
I think we should bring that back as a form of capital punishment for police, is us shooting them in the face.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, VenomN says, those corrupt pigs should be shot in the face.
What dude did was a good thing for it was Biden who oh my god I just read like the syntax this guy's this guy's using uh-huh uh-huh for it was Biden who indeed ruined our already booming economy under Trump and now under Biden he is on the brink of destroying us indefinitely indubitably my good sir he got a hefty sum from China no doubt People don't talk about that enough.
Like, Biden was not only ruining the economy now, but he was ruining the economy when Trump was in power.
You remember when Biden was doing that?
He was really... That was... You know, that's chess.
That's chess.
AdamsMD in Rumble says, Yeah, dummy.
You should have put up a severed head of the president.
Dot dot dot.
No criminality there.
Or use your office for pay to play like liberals do!
Okay, yeah, we know that part, where it's like, that's, again, still not a crime, that's art.
I mean, quote, you know, that's what that was.
Also, what are you talking about?
Using your... whose office for pay-to-play?
Garuski's office.
He should use his office.
Glazinski?
Glazuski.
Yeah.
Glazewski, why didn't you use your office for... For pay to play.
Yeah, why didn't you get your son a job in Ukraine, huh?
Then they wouldn't have got you.
So good.
No, it's good.
I do like, yeah, you should have put up a severed head of the president.
No criminality there.
Yeah.
Why would there be criminality?
What are you talking about?
I mean, I know you're talking about Kathy Griffin taking a photo of herself holding a prop.
Yeah.
That, like, you guys have literally never shut the fuck up about.
She didn't, like, put that severed head... She didn't throw it on the lawn.
She didn't burn it on the lawn of a Trump supporter.
And that, like, made them way more mad than it got anyone stoked.
Right.
No, the one thing that we covered was that art gallery who put the mural of Trump's throat being slit, like his hair pulled back and his throat being slit just in the front window of the gallery.
I liked that one better.
That one was good.
That one was sick.
But yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, do it.
Do you think that's a crime?
Like what crime do you think Kathy Griffin did?
I do think that if you were to show up at a gas station with a really realistic severed prosthetic head and make a scene, you might get in some sort of trouble.
Um, I doubt that because haven't we seen trucks that have like Hillary Clinton's head?
Like an effigy of Hillary Clinton's head being dragged behind it at all times?
All the time, yeah.
Remember the trunk with Obama tied up in it?
Yeah, that was pretty good.
Classic.
Last one I wanted to read.
This is from TonyAB1984.
Mr. Glazuski, first of all, my compliments, sir.
More important, please plead not guilty!
You'll go down in history, and I hope they someday name schools and courthouses after you.
There have been anti-Trump stickers in graffiti for years, and nobody did a thing!
Even if you're convicted by another Circus Act jury, you'll make yourself a national hero we'll tell our kids and grandkids about.
Hopefully, drivers take your arrest out on the station owner.
Plenty of other places to fill up.
I love that.
This country that's fucking dog shit that's treating you like shit, one day we're gonna name libraries, schools, roads, courthouses after you.
I mean, the arc of history is long, Tony, but it bends towards justice.
It's true.
Like, for what?
Think about Mr. Glozuski's great-grandkids finally seeing the first Glozuski Courthouse.
Think about how much that would mean to them.
There would be a statue of the sticker out front.
Well, I feel like it would be Mr. Glozuski holding up the sticker.
That's beautiful.
I like that.
Mr. Glozuski getting, getting, uh, pummeled.
Mr. Glozuski, first of all, I just wanted to say, my compliments, sir.
My confidence.
Good, good job.
The way you, the way you were screaming over and over that you did that, I felt it.
Also, please, please plead not guilty.
You would be a legend.
Cause, cause you kind of, you kind of fucked yourself here.
So you're going to have to lean in and not guilty.
Um, you actually might have to like plead for a 51 50 type situation here.
Um, so maybe lean into that.
I mean, I'm just spit balling.
Uh, do they have a jury for vandalism?
Like, I don't... I think it's like just a fine or nothing.
I don't think there's, you know what I mean?
Like, would this go to a jury?
I don't know how the court system works.
Frankly, I don't want to know.
No.
Ew.
Disgusting.
It doesn't work is actually how it works.
Well, I just, I hope they build a courthouse and not a statue because you know, uh, the BLM in 50 years.
Yep.
Gonna tear that baby down.
They're gonna want taken down.
Bullshit.
Yeah.
So good.
Oh, I don't care if Mr. Glazuski helped bring about the second golden age of the American empire.
I just don't like him for no reason.
I'll never forget the sticker.
Listen, that sticker meant something to some people, okay?
They're making fun of my president.
Not cool.
If you can't send me dead out of the kitchen I would've said I'd run you much longer but I just can't And I just can't send you back to And this you've been wearing must've told you a thousand times But I'm drowning in your tears and I hate you, just keep on crying
Last segment I wanted to do on this episode was What do we got?
Yeah, we're good on time.
Okay.
Last thing I wanted to talk about is a viral Facebook post from Curtis Robertson who has a Texas Blue Lives Matter avatar on his Facebook account.
Curtis Robertson posts I want to say thank you to the person that flashed their lights at me today to let me know there was a trooper ahead.
I was only doing 5 over, but slowed down anyways.
I really appreciated it.
I also hope you read this all the way through, and maybe share it.
Talk about misconnections.
We are, I mean on this show, more than willing to do, Curtis.
Do you know who else appreciates it?
The drug runner with a mint of heroin or cocaine in their vehicle.
That, true, true, true.
You know the drugs that will hit the street and cause even more families to grieve over a loved one ODing?
Also that kidnapper that has a baby in the back seat.
The one too small to have a clue what is going on.
They're just out for another ride in the car.
Too bad that family may now have to wait months slash years slash or never to see that sweet child again.
Wait, because I flash my lights?
Yeah, do you know who's in the other car you're flashing your lights to, Tony?
Oh shit.
No, no.
This is awful.
It's probably somebody who kidnapped a baby.
Oh no.
Those are my least kind of people.
Babies are the worst people to kidnap.
It's the saddest ones.
Because they just think they're on a drive.
I love how he gets it in the mindset of the baby.
The baby is too small to even know.
It doesn't even know it's being kidnapped.
I know what you're thinking.
If you're getting kidnapped, you wouldn't let that happen.
And you would probably flag down the person who is flagging you down.
But you're a little baby.
You have no idea what's happening.
Yeah, you can't really say, oh, you know, what's that thing that... You can't order an angel shot from the car that's driving by you?
No the uh this is a really fucked up thing to just talk about casually but like where it was like oh if your wife got kidnapped by native americans and she survived like that's dishonorable because she didn't fight them to the death oh yeah that whole principle yeah It's like better dead than red, but that's communism.
You can't hold a baby to that same standard, guys.
They don't even know what's happening.
They thought they were just going on a ride.
That's so scary.
How about the rapist with the woman beside him tied up?
Wait, hold on, like in the passenger seat tied up?
Yeah, so he can still use the carpool lane.
Oh, and now that you have the lights flashed, you could pull over and put her in the trunk?
No, you're just going to stop speeding 20 over.
Smart, smart.
You can't see those restraints on her hands and feet.
You just look away her last ounce of hope.
You just took away her last ounce of hope that they might get stopped and she can get rescued.
What if that's what you see when the brights are on?
You just see like duct tape over some... No!
No!
What did I just do?
It's too late to take it back.
You can't take it back, Tony.
You better.
You better.
I better.
I'm going to hit the e-brake.
I'm going to hit the e-brake and I'm going to go, uh, one of the many movies where they would like go save them.
I can't think of one right now, but.
Where you save a woman?
I'd go, I'd go.
I don't think there's a movie like that.
Oh yes, true.
I've never heard of it.
We should think about that.
We should workshop something about that.
That's a good concept.
Like a damsel.
I know we haven't done damsels.
We should do a damsel.
That'd be cool.
I love the idea that, oh, you're going to prevent rape by alerting police to this situation.
When, uh, history shows, you know, it's just like, oh, uh, those, you know, millions of untested rape kits, uh, the hundreds of thousands of, you know, ignored domestic abuse and, you know, rape allegations against police, uh, nevermind those, the actual cause for systemic rape in this country is you flashing your lights in a passing car.
Yeah.
That's actually what's going on.
Because the number one thing that happens all the time, they just don't talk about it because the media hates them, is they do routinely pull people over for driving five miles over the speed limit and save people.
Yeah, absolutely.
All the time.
I also like, yeah, you know who else appreciates it?
The drug runner with heroin or coke.
We would have had it, we would have won the war on drugs right now.
Yep.
By now, easily.
If it weren't for people occasionally flashing their lights at other drivers to warn them about.
This makes me want to just flash my lights at random people for no reason, just all the time.
Just to, hey, stay on your toes.
Yeah.
Let them know that I got their six.
Well, the drug runners at least.
I need to clarify that.
No baby kidnappers here, just drug runners.
So I've always heard of this, you know, oh, if there's a checkpoint, flash your lights, yada yada.
I've never seen this in the wild.
I've never seen this work.
If somebody flashes their lights at me, I'm going to be like, oh, I don't have my headlights on.
Wait, I do have my headlights on.
That's exactly what I was thinking, yeah.
What was that person flashing their lights at me for?
Yeah, no, that's exactly what I was thinking.
I'm like, this guy probably just didn't have his headlights on the entire time.
Got home and was all like... Like, there was no cop?
You know?
But you know what I mean?
Like, I've... Have you heard this before?
That people flash their lights to warn others that there's a cop?
You know?
No.
No.
Yeah, it's a thing.
It's... I've heard that it's a thing, but it's never made sense to me.
I think that anybody who, like, actually... I think it's just for speeding.
Maybe.
Because I think anyone who actually does, like, crime...
Like, that's...
They're not thinking about that.
They're just driving anyways.
They're already taking the precautions in their drive.
They can't get any... They can't change anything now that we're flashing lights.
Well, it is for like a speed trap or for, you know, a drunk driving checkpoint or something, right?
Yeah.
But it's never going to work.
I'm probably going to miss him because I'm drunk, though.
If somebody flashes their lights at me, I'm not going to, like, stop the car and turn around?
Yeah.
Just on a whim?
Like, maybe that person just hit a bump.
They didn't actually flash their brights at me.
You know, like, I don't know.
A lot of other things are going through my mind when that happens rather than, oh, they're trying to strategically, which I would appreciate if they were, but I don't think we're there yet as a society to, like, have that be the universal symbol.
I just assume usually that, like, that's probably a struggling passenger who's flashing their lights at me and I flip a hard U-turn and I pursue them.
Constant vigilance.
It got to.
I learned that from Facebook.
I actually just drive around waiting for that to happen now.
I don't even... It's a thing now.
So I love this post because it is like a new old wives urban legend tale about flashing your brights.
Yeah.
Where it's like, oh no, no, it's not anymore.
No, it's not a gang initiation anymore.
Now it's a way to like help rapists.
Yep, yeah.
And that's all you're doing, you're just facilitating.
As somebody who routinely has a bunch of babies that aren't online that I'm moving, I'm only looking for flashing lights.
I'm going about 95 until I see a flashing light.
And then everything changes.
Maybe a sex trafficker that has three women doped out of their minds headed to the next hellhole, where you can only imagine what they'll be put through.
Yeah as opposed to when they get stopped by the police and arrested for prostitution.
Yep.
And have all their civil assets forfeited to the state.
And the cops are like, bro did you know?
Did you know they were prostitutes?
And let's not forget a murderer that has a body in their trunk.
just ask for a ride i don't i don't do that sort of thing they're saying that you were taking them somewhere that you they didn't have a choice that's that sounds wild right that's wild and then they really yeah yeah and let's not forget a murderer that has a body in their trunk a family grieving not knowing if they'll ever see that loved one again well i mean at that point you can't really no i need to stop it No, I need to see the body, Tony.
That's true.
I need to be able to see their face.
I mean, because I felt something, but I don't know if it's real yet.
So, thank you so much for letting me know that the trooper was there.
Yeah, you fucking piece of shit.
But next time...
Instead, remember you have no clue who is in the vehicles you're warning, and they now know to find an alternative route.
When you see an officer on the side of the road in some random place on a stretch of highway that is rarely used, you automatically think, quote, he's looking for speeders.
I can assure you that most of the time they've had a tip that one of the above might be making their way through the area.
Yeah, I'm looking for a kidnapper's vehicle.
That's what cops do all the time.
You think they're looking for speeding?
Not at all.
They're actually looking for people being kidnapped, possibly murdered, or about to be murdered, for sure, sex trafficked.
That's what they're doing all the time.
That's why they pull people over.
Only reason.
Think twice before warning others about officers.
Even in apps.
I'll gladly take a ticket if it keeps you from warning the wrong person.
I hope your actions today didn't cost someone their life.
No, this is not a pic from today.
Just one I found online.
And it was a photo of a squad car.
Amazing.
That's a- I- I- I- Doug, what is your life?
That must be so stressful.
I don't know, I feel like it's a way, you know, once again, to make your life have meaning.
Oh, I- I got a part, you know, I got a speeding ticket today, but, you know, I probably saved a life at the same time.
Yeah, telling the officer every single time, you know what?
Hey, you know what, sir?
Worth it.
Yeah.
No, I will, I will willingly pay this speeding ticket.
And the cop's like, yeah, I know.
Hey, no, no, no.
I need you to just, I need you to write, hey, write it as soon as you can.
Give me the max fine.
Throw the bill.
Please get back out on the streets.
Okay.
Listen, I saw someone flashing lights earlier, so you need to just pull everyone over.
Yeah.
You should probably deploy this bike strip while you have me pulled over.
You should actually change routes in a zig-zagging motion for the rest of the day.
Arresting anybody you come in contact with.
We need to start arresting people while they're on the way to commit the crime.
Like, in the thought of the crime, you know?
Who do you think kidnaps babies?
Do you think it's maybe their dad?
Yeah, yeah, for sure, right?
It's like that's every single time.
It's like that's the only baby.
I mean, sorry, there's probably, you know, other kinds of baby kidnapping, but for the most part, yeah, it's their uncles do it, too.
It's their dad who's not allowed, who's not allowed to have the baby in the car.
And who the cop is going to, like, do everything in their power not to do anything about.
Listen, okay, uh, even if it is their baby, even if it is that dad's baby, I just watched this movie over the weekend.
There was fucking heroin in the baby's diaper.
Oh.
What?
So you're just driving along and you're seeing, oh wow, uh, this man, this, this man looks, you know, upstanding.
He's got a mustache.
Uh, he's got a bouncy baby girl in the back seat.
Uh, think again, bucko.
That diaper is loaded and I ain't talking about poopy.
I was just on the dark web and I found out, you know how they identify each other, the heroine babies?
They have the baby on board sticker, but it's the funny baby from The Hangover.
With the glasses.
It's that baby.
And it says baby on board but it's the funny glasses baby.
And that's how you know it's gonna be a heroin baby.
Right.
The way you know that it's a good normal baby is if it says baby up in this bitch.
That's how you know it's a solid baby.
That's a good regular baby.
That's the episode, folks.
Thanks so much for listening.
Again, if you want to support the show, if you want to help us do this thing, we love doing it, but we can use all the help we can get.
You're helping us pay our bills, buy groceries in Brandon's America.
Hard thing to do here.
You can help us do that at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult.
Where for only $3.11 a month, you'll get four bonus episodes.
Sorry, let me clarify that.
Four episodes a month.
I just didn't want to be redundant and say month again, but it's a bonus episode every week.
Every week.
And also, I do do this show off of a generator.
This show is ran off of gas, so think about that.
Yeah.
And you know what?
I put a sticker on my generator.
Tony has to pull like a lawnmower ripcord to start his interface.
Yeah, yeah.
That's how we do it.
And with the gas prices, these episodes might get a little shorter, you know?
Remember to go to youtube.com slash MinionDeathCult and subscribe there to see all these clips on their own, share them with friends, share that crazy Jeff Dunham story we all love so much.
If you're a new listener, that's probably a fun story to revisit because it happened in January of 2020.
I forgot that you actually show me what he looks like.
Like live in the recording.
I forgot that it's like a live reveal.
It's kind of people's favorite part of that story.
It's because it's your reaction to me showing you a photo of the guy.
I'll still think about the guy every once in a while and I get a nice chuckle.
It's amazing.
I saw that guy several... I'll probably see him again soon.
I see that guy around Seattle.
I saw him waving to cops driving by.
I saw him leaning over to talk into a bassinet at a baby during the height of the pandemic.
Probably singing to that baby.
Look at your little baby!
I'm saying hi to you.
I'm saying hello, baby.
Is there heroin in your diaper?
All right.
Yeah.
So support us at Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
Subscribe to get clips of the show at YouTube.com slash MinionDeathCult.
Follow us on social media at MinionDeathCult.
I am at Flieldy, F-L-I-E-L-D-Y on Twitter.
Tony is at WordIsBond.
Let's get the fuck out of here, Tony.
Peace.
Bye.
Love y'all.
Bye.
I'm in the jungle of niggas that's looking for status.
Too dirty, licked, hanging, shagging, just to support his habits.
Them people rolling, so I gotta do what I can.
I got a pound of that sand I picked up from the man.
The luxuries I gotta have it.
Look, black hand bitches in the streets holding up traffic.
