Yoda: "The Robin Hood gene is strong in this one."
This week it's a couple... good? new stories, one involving facebook vigilantes successfully bullying Walmart into waving charges against a shoplifting dad and, Washington State gets rid of solitary confinement after determining it is ineffective, which is of course an affront to me personally Buy the shirt and stickers: http://miniondeathcult.com Support the show and get a bonus episode every week at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Music: Pavement - Unfair
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned, guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
Oh, they're in Bartholstein.
Stay tuned.
Okay, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Washington State ending solitary confinement is responsible.
We're documenting it.
Hello to the listeners, and an even fonder hello to Facebook.
Hello Facebook.
We missed you.
It was a rough one without you.
At least we heard.
It was rough.
Didn't know if you were going to make it.
Honestly, kind of hoped you didn't.
Yeah, you got off unscathed here.
I'm kind of upset.
It was too easy.
A lot of people tweeted out, you know, the only reason I hope Facebook makes it, comes back online, is so Minion Death Cult can keep doing episodes.
I really appreciate that.
It's very kind of you folks to say, but honestly, like, if it takes Minion Death Cult going down to bring down the beast, we're willing to make that sacrifice.
Yeah, we're here for you.
And also, like, don't fret.
There are plenty of comment sections on the internet.
But, yeah, if that's what it takes, see you later.
Yeah, I would willingly just start working overtime.
More overtime.
We would do that for all your memos.
Just to get rid of it.
Just cause I don't, you know... I think it's garish.
I think the layout is ugly.
If they would change that blue, I might reconsider.
Yeah.
I am gonna miss those images of like an onion sandwich and the caption that says, Remember this?
Remember this?
This is history.
Who remembers boots?
You remember a worn pair of leather boots?
Ring any bells?
There's like 80,000 comments of people saying yes.
My dad had boots.
He was a good man.
Yeah, so it's back.
If you didn't know, Facebook, like, got deleted.
The Zuck got Zucked himself, apparently.
Facebook just got deleted, which was pretty funny.
A lot of people, though, upset.
A lot of people migrating to Twitter because of it.
Um, you know, nowhere to post, nowhere to read the posts if you're a Facebook user.
So, uh, they came to Twitter and in their honor, in the Facebook refugees honor, I did post a, a master thread of just a bunch of Facebook content, you know, from over the, over the months and years.
And, uh, yeah, go to our Twitter to see that.
Uh, you know, it's a lot of it's on our Instagram account as well.
Just some of my favorites, you know, some little guys.
It's a nice little time capsule.
It's something you kind of like look back and go through and you're going to do some awes.
You might not see it coming, but you're going to go, oh, I remember that one.
Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah.
Want to do a quick shout out to Randy at B-Boy Honey for sending us two massive jars of what looks like amazing honey.
Tony is what we call a complete vegan.
So he does eat honey.
So I'm sure he's going to enjoy that as well.
Is that actually the phrase?
No, that's a different thing.
That's what they call Jewish people who accept Christ.
Call them complete Jews.
Yeah, I do, I do, uh, I do eat honey because we need to eat honey to save the bees and we need the bees for the rest of the world, so.
This is a pro, this is a pro honey pod right here, baby.
It sounds like Randy's got a pretty nice, like, uh, sustainable ecologically and, uh, I don't know, whatever the animal version of ecological is, uh, good for, good for him.
Seems like it's good for the bees and it's good for us because we get some of that sweet, sweet honey.
I'm very excited to get some, uh, get my, my mouth on some of that sweet, sweet honey.
Yeah, if you want to check it out, the Instagram is at RoyalGels, J-E-L-L-Z, to get some of that stuff.
So, very excited.
I think Ani is probably making some tea with it right now.
I heard the kettle go off upstairs.
That's going to be a high quality toddy!
Yeah.
Thanks to everybody for signing up for the Patreon last month.
Your cards should all be, you know, processing right now.
We usually don't get that money until the 5th of October, which is tomorrow, or today, your time.
Tomorrow, our time.
And we will, again, be donating 50% of that, should be about 2,000, 2,500 bucks, somewhere around there, to abortion mutual aid funds in Texas.
Thanks to everybody who signed up, who supports the show, helps us do this thing.
We did have a pretty good Patreon episode last week.
I didn't post a clip of it because I didn't have time.
But it was pretty fun.
I developed a theory of 90s movies.
A fun take on white men exiting the jungle and teaching us how to dance.
There's a whole genre of movies for that that I discovered over the weekend.
Also, the bus driver who got fired because he was taping Charlie Kirk memes to the inside of his bus.
Literal printouts.
Actual memes taped to the walls of buses.
And a woman who insisted on reading aloud from a high school book that had sex in it at a school board meeting.
So yeah, to get the filth banned.
She made her son, I don't think we talked about it, but imagine being that son.
Your mom's like, you need to go in and you need to check out the book about gay sex.
His son is literally telling someone like, you don't even understand your mom just has an OnlyFans.
My mom is the fucking worst.
My mom's doing it for free.
That's, that's, that's, that's what... Mom, I'm talking about someone else's mom right now!
Wait, did you say, no, I don't?
No, I'm just saying I had to clarify real quick.
I had to let her know that I was not... My mom is the best, but that kid's mom is the worst.
Yeah.
So yeah, patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult to help support the show and get a bonus episode every week.
It's only three dollars a month, an insane deal for four bonus episodes a month.
Plus, if you subscribe at the $5 level, you get access to Tony's twice-monthly Last Responders podcast, which is, of course, covering in-depth the television show 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star, which is just, God, I don't have a lot of time to watch TV, but I see Ani watching it, and I'll, like, sit down, and it's such a fucking insane show.
It's so crazy.
And I'm telling you right, go ahead and get on that right now, because I'm about to release an episode that's about a current episode of 9-1-1.
So you can kind of jump in right here, and then also hit the Retrospective Catalog.
The season premiere this season was a two-sider, Part 1, Part 2, and it was nuts.
So definitely, that's going to be this coming week.
Sick, yeah.
I think we're doing a show now, right?
Is that what we're doing now?
Yeah, I think so.
I think it's showtime.
Oh, t-shirts.
Showtime, oh yeah.
Thank you to everybody for buying the Bart Against Bosses t-shirt where he brandishes a gun at Jeff Bezos.
Very cool of you to buy that very cool shirt.
It just kind of proves how cool our listenership is.
True.
Sold out, sold out in like two days.
Two days with an offering it publicly.
If you didn't get one, pre-orders for the next batch are up.
If you're a Patreon subscriber, the same 25% discount applies.
That applies for all the stickers.
I got four different stickers available.
The Bart Police sticker, the workplace version of it, sold out so we printed a bigger version of it.
It's about the size of a playing card.
So that one is now available in the store.
You can get a bigger size one of that.
And also the Maggie Wage Theft one sold out so we printed a bigger one.
Bigger size one of that as well.
So now that you've, you know, successfully covered your office stuff, you know, your thermos or whatever, now you can put these like on a stop sign or a speed limit sign or like a street sign.
Yes, any type of sign.
These stick great on signs.
All kinds of signs.
Yeah.
Vinyl signs, metal signs, wooden signs.
Yeah.
So, that's MinionDeathCult.com for that shirt, and those stickies.
So, we are, we have a bit of a change of pace this episode.
We got two different stories here, and what, they're both kind of good news?
What?
Huh?
That's weird.
What the frick?
Are we allowed to do this, Tony?
We're gonna give it a shot.
We did warn the listener.
Yeah.
Listener be warned.
This is a good, this is a good show today.
I'm just going to pull it up here.
Um, let me do the, uh, the, the Como news cause Como's there's the Washington local news, uh, always, always so good.
I think it's best to get, uh, their, their perspective on stuff.
Um, Gotta know what the locals think.
I mean, that's the best news, you know?
And you gotta pay for that paywall to keep journalism alive.
Well, as always, Como News being the one who trotted out the only injured police officer in the Seattle protests.
You had to dig deep for that.
You had to really do journalism for that.
Yeah, and of course injured by tearing her meniscus when she tripped slightly.
Pivoted the wrong way.
Let's see if I can find it here.
Still just stalling for time.
There were several officers who did lift with their backs that day who did not get covered.
So, I mean, maybe do a little bit better.
Okay, here we go.
From Como News, Washington prisons end solitary confinement as a punishment.
Fuck!
And we're all so fucking pissed about it, man.
How are they gonna learn how to meditate?
Where are they gonna find themselves now?
Uh, oh man, I didn't get any but I bet there's like, there were like some new age people who are for solitary confinement.
Yeah.
Because it helps you center your, it helps you like journey within.
There's some asshole who experienced it who's advocating for it now.
Oh, I do have that comment, by the way.
I just don't have it from the New Age perspective.
Dude, I listened to the latest Sam Harris podcast and he said that being in solitary confinement for six months is like doing DMT.
It's a free way of getting DMT high.
He once paid to rent out an actual solitary confinement cell in an actual prison to get the authentic feel.
That's where he did a lot of the developing for his app, his meditation app.
I, um, I was in solitary confinement and I actually, uh, saw the machine elves, uh, after a minute, the machine elves, they appeared to me and they explained to me the way the universe works.
Uh, and apparently it works, uh, through, uh, beating pe- beating people less fortunate than you with billy clubs.
Yeah, that does make sense.
That is what they would say.
That's what my third eye would say is you it is actually a ruthless system out there.
I would have never figured it out, but I'm glad they were there to guide me on the mission of getting my ass beat.
Okay, over the course of a year, uh, oh, Olympia, Washington, the Washington State Department of Corrections is no longer using solitary confinement as a punishment in state facilities.
Over the course of a year, DOC reviewed data on disciplinary segregation, also known as isolation or solitary confinement, to see if the method was effective in addressing negative behavior.
I love how they like, hey, you know what?
We're gonna take it upon ourselves to do a year-long study of this thing that's already been proven horrific and cruel and unusual for like the last, what, how long have we had data on this?
Fucking decades at this point?
For a very long time.
I'm glad just somebody in Washington decided to finally, you know, give the ultimate answer on it.
Get down to the bottom of it.
That's how you know it's thorough.
That's how you know it's gonna be thorough.
You have to do your own research.
I can't trust what I'm told.
The review found that the use of solitary confinement is ineffective, and as of September 16th, DOC stopped using it as a form of punishment.
That's a shame, because the second year of solitary confinement is when it really starts to kick in.
Yeah, that's really when it starts to take effect.
If they had done a two-year study on it, they would have seen how polite inmates are after two years of solitary confinement.
Yeah, absolutely.
It does start to break.
I mean, look at John McCain.
That's why he was such a good person.
A 2018 Southern Poverty Law Center report found that excessive use of solitary confinement can harm the physical and mental health of the person in solitary.
These effects can also persist after release, creating further issues as they try to re-enter the community.
Oh no, what's that?
Our prisons are totally just incompatible with the idea of restorative or rehabilitative justice?
What the fuck?
What are you saying?
That's wild.
They're not even interested in results?
They're just interested in either punishment or profiting off of their labor?
What?
Governor Jay Inslee praised the decision saying, quote, disciplinary segregation has been proved to be ineffective in our state correctional facilities and ending their practice as a form of discipline is the right thing to do.
Yeah, now just do prison in general.
Now just why don't you check up on the efficacy of prison in general.
Go ahead and continue down that wormhole.
You're going to find some things that are going to bum out your pockets.
Now I know the Washington State, the Department of Corrections and Washington State Prisons apparently have only existed for a year now, but you know, now let's do a study on them for this year.
Yeah.
Let's see what they're up to.
The DOC says they are now working to find more humane alternatives to solitary confinement.
Oh, man.
So they're still trying to do something else.
They're still trying to, like, further discipline the person who's already been, like, ripped from their life.
Like, they're still trying to make that... What's the next thing we can do to them?
Yeah, what about, like, a TV screen with your owner on it that waves to you and he can see you while he's at work?
That's, like, in the cell with you.
Yeah, exactly.
What if you just do solitary confinement but with, like, soundproof glass between inmates?
What if there's, like, a TV screen that has, like, birds frolicking in a meadow for you to look at and, like, paw at the screen?
Have we thought about mirrors?
Just, like, lots of mirrors?
Wow, these inmates, when they come out of this new type of solitary confinement, wow, they sure have a larger sense of self-worth.
In fact, they're referring to themselves as pretty birds.
Yeah, what if we like let them listen to music and it's just that list of music they would play outside of like, you know, negotiating and stuff?
Metallica?
What was the really, there's like a funny one though, there was like a B-52s or something like that.
Oh, Rock Lobster maybe?
Yeah.
Yeah the funny one to me is Inner Sandman because I knew it was a spooky song.
I didn't know it was that scary.
It's terrifying.
It scares you into admitting to false acts of terrorism.
It's so scary.
Please I'm so spooked.
I did it.
I did the thing.
Imagine what you would admit to if you had to listen to Stanger.
Okay, so yeah, this is good, right?
Obviously, hey, solitary confinement, it seems like a bad thing, psychologists have been saying it's a bad thing, studies have been done saying it's a bad thing, and that it's not effective.
Not only is it mean and bad, it's also not effective.
Also doesn't work.
So, how do you think Facebook reacted to this?
Well, no one hates prisoners more than inmates more than Facebook.
So, we'll see.
They're probably really glad for them that they're gonna get treated a little more humanely.
Okay, so Victoria Fearn says, Pretty soon cells are going to be too small and the towers will be intimidating so they will live in comfort in a gated community... spare those criminals feeling.
Oh, they're getting too soft on them.
First, you know, first you don't put them in solid check and fire, but next thing you know, they're going to be living in like duplexes and like gated communities, part of HOAs that I can't be part of just because I'm not an inmate.
I like, uh, the towers will be intimidating.
The cells are too small and the towers will be too intimidating.
Uh, for their fragile psyches.
These people, these criminals, they can't even handle being alone for six years or whatever.
Yeah, they probably, you know what, they'll go outside and they'll be like, oh, the gravel's too hard on my feet.
Please, I need some shoes.
Kellyann Cantu replies, says, I heard they were going to get participation trophies for being in prison.
God, what does that even look like?
Are you saying like participation in society?
Because what are they not participating in?
I heard they were going to get... They didn't win prison?
I heard they were going to get Avocado Toast iPhone Mom's Basement in prison.
That's pretty much what does happen in there all day long.
Hey, if that's not true, then why am I seeing them on TikTok?
They were going to get participation trophies for being in prison, unlike the real trophies we get for not being in prison.
Yeah, unlike the trope they do get which is checking that box and not getting jobs and being completely alienated from society when you get out.
This is like, I mean a huge theme with these responses was like people trying to one-up each other to see how they could say what was next in terms of coddling inmates by not psychologically torturing them anymore.
Yeah.
And so yeah, live in a gated community.
They're gonna be living in a gated community but that's where like rich people, that's where good rich people should live.
You have to earn that.
Gated community are supposed to keep felons out.
Why?
We're not supposed to let them in?
Are they going to get pulls next?
Are they going to have their own pull boys next?
Okay, so I'm going to do a speed run of things that inmates are going to get now.
Okay?
Yeah, a list.
Lynn Owen.
Just give them a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.
Dot dot dot dot dot.
That'll teach them.
What?
Mike Allen says, just give them a five-star menu and internet with free iPad.
That'll teach them.
They love this phrase, that'll teach them.
Like, this is also just what they want?
Who does that?
Snooki Boyce says, yah dot dot dot.
You're just gonna sing them lullabies and help them find their purpose.
Palm face emoji.
Wait.
Why would you be against the second one?
Their purpose is crime, Tony.
They already found their purpose.
Their purpose is like a cautionary tale for my children and the other minorities in my neighborhood, Tony.
That's their purpose in life.
Their purpose in life is just to be abused by people that I can live vicariously through.
Sing them a lullaby.
I love sing them a lullaby!
What?
How would that...
How would that be bad?
Like, what, a prison guard's gonna walk by whistling a tune and that's being too soft on them?
Absolutely, yeah.
They can't do that.
They're gonna pump in, like, some Brahms through the speaker and, like, you're gonna be just stewing, knowing that they're getting to enjoy classical music.
Yeah.
Yeah, they should be having to listen to something scary.
Like, uh, like Cedar.
Yeah, they can only listen to, like, rock radio.
Whatever plays Drowning Pool, whatever station plays that, that's all they're allowed to listen to, the scary stuff.
Yeah, I like... Oh, yeah, give them a bouquet of flowers.
It's something that every prisoner wants.
They don't get that now.
They're not allowed to get flowers.
No.
Because they're being punished.
But we may as well just give them a bouquet of flowers since we're, you know, already not locking them up by themselves with just their minds for days on end.
Yeah.
And a box of chocolates.
Yeah, give them a five star.
Like, what is five stars?
Like, I think Michelin only goes up to four.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And those are rare.
Very rare.
Internet with a free iPad.
See, and the liberal response to this is like, well yeah, they should get an iPad, but they should have to pay for it.
They should be charged to use the iPad and the phone.
They should earn the iPad.
I also like how it's iPad and not like a computer.
Well, he's thinking about, like, public schools, I guess.
Yeah, totally.
He's thinking, like, to scale, you know?
The laptop's got too many moving parts, you know?
You want it to sort of, like, streamline, you know?
If you close a laptop, too, you can use it as a weapon, but you can never hit somebody with an iPad, because they will for sure break.
Mickey Johnson says, science might be wrong on some of...
Science might be wrong.
Some of those inmates might enjoy being in solitary confinement.
I sure did.
Away from general population has its merits.
From experience, I'm anti-social, don't get along with most people, especially guards and rules, left prison 11 years ago after serving a life sentence.
I don't know how that works, so I'm not going to really speak on that last part.
You sound like you suck.
You sound like you just have a hard time everywhere you go because you're kind of like a dickhead.
He sounds like he might already have some issues.
Yeah, totally.
Some undiagnosed issues.
It's kind of like that thing, if you take Ritalin or whatever to get high, or Adderall to get high, and it doesn't get you high, it just helps you out.
You're like, oh shit, I got undiagnosed ADD.
Yeah, it's worse for me.
That's like solitary confinement.
If you go into solitary confinement and you're normal, then maybe you should get checked out.
Yeah.
Which is a resource you can actually get in prison sometimes.
I mean, maybe you should check that out next time you're in there for a lifetime sentence.
So how old is this person?
You know?
Uh, he's like a Gen X-er or a... I think he's... I think he's X-er.
I went to his page to look at his stuff.
He's just got, wow, a real big mixed bag of stuff on his Facebook.
He's got a lot of anti-police brutality stuff on there, which is good, but then a lot of anti-Black Lives Matter stuff.
Uh, very interesting.
It's called balance.
You wouldn't understand.
Yeah, that's the zen he achieved in solitary confinement.
Uh, David Springs says, just making it easier and easier to be in prison.
Washington is already way more lax.
They got sewing rooms and band rooms.
Now, why would you want to- why would you be planting crops in a room?
Isn't that something you do outside, David?
Is me, like, dunking on him for spelling it wrong.
Ah, nice, nice.
Yeah.
I love how this guy thinks that they just can't do anything.
Didn't have any of that in Texas Department of Criminal Justice when I was there.
I'm grateful I had to go to school, though, to get my GED.
People are serving time for crimes.
It doesn't need to be a cakewalk.
But, like, the whole thing is you got your GED because other people could be, like, learning other skills.
Yeah.
Like, that's fine, bud.
Like, you're just mad because you did it that way?
I don't know.
It's almost like somebody has a profound lack of empathy.
Yeah.
Profound lack of the ability to relate to other people and judge them on the same terms that he would like to be judged.
Gloria Shank is right underneath.
Top fan of Como News, by the way, so that's a very good sign.
Gloria Shank says Inslee, so that's the governor of, what state is it, Florida?
No, Washington?
Gloria Shank.
Oh, done some prison time herself, maybe.
Hey, a nickname like that.
Gloria says, Inslee's lockdowns effectively put elderly widows in solitary confinement.
Wow.
Wait, were you like not, are you not visiting them?
I mean, elderly widows?
I mean, sure.
Cause they couldn't go out?
Like no one was visiting them?
Yeah, they couldn't go out to the grocery store and talk to a clerk for 10 minutes while everybody waits behind them.
Yeah.
Oh, I feel so bad for them.
It's like, I don't know, go visit them then lady.
You know?
I mean, it's the same thing.
It's like, oh, I suddenly care about other people now that I can use it against a public health mandate that I don't like.
Just like I suddenly care about the LGBTQ community if I want to attack Muslim immigrants or Muslim refugees.
Nice to have that in your pocket.
Uh, this one was, this one was so stupid, but so funny.
Oh yeah, oh, Lynn Layderer says, so what's next?
Hugs for killers and rapists?
And John Nichols says, already there.
We're already there, Lynn.
Catch up, motherfucker.
And then he posted a picture of like someone hugging Hillary Clinton.
Uh...
I mean, maybe, like, maybe a hug for a killer would help, you know?
That you can still, like, keep them away from other people, but... Yeah.
There is no, there is no, like, hu... They don't, there is no, like, exit empathy here.
That doesn't matter.
There's no... You can't fuck up.
You just can't fuck up.
If you fuck up, you're done.
There's no saving you.
Well yeah, I mean, most of right-wing ideology is posturing and signaling about how willing to do violence against bad people you are.
Yeah.
Degenerate people, or criminals, or whatever.
So it's like... I don't know, it kind of like...
Honestly, chips away at their own identity if other people on the other side of the culture are allowed to do violence without being punished or thrown in prison because they're supposed to be the righteous arbiters of violence, whether it's for their kids or whether it's for the Middle East or criminals or poor people or whatever.
It's funny.
But Becky Hampton says, there doesn't seem to be much punishment happening at all for breaking laws.
And again, I mean, it's like, you know, beating a dead horse, but being in prison is a punishment.
You don't have to like also pull out somebody's fingernails.
It also sucks.
Like every time it sucks.
But she posted a cartoon, like a...
Political cartoon that's one of the fucking stupidest political cartoons.
I've ever seen I Think it's I'm trying to read.
Yeah, it's Ramirez is is the artist It's so it's like a Glock That's shooting a flag like instead of a bullet of flags coming out of it.
I And underneath it says, THE CRIME PROBLEM.
That's like what the caption of the full cartoon is.
But on the Glock, along the side, along the barrel, it says, ENFORCEMENT OF LAW.
And then on the grip, it says, SOFT ON CRIME.
And then the flag that's coming out of the muzzle says, Liberal Policies!
Jeez.
So the gun of enforcement of law and soft on crime is firing out liberal policies.
Is the flag that is liberal policies.
And all of this is called the crime problem.
I like how this is the same country where there's a lot of people who are mad about law enforcement murdering people for no reason.
It's the same country that is soft on crime.
I mean, yeah, in Washington, if they can't throw you in a fucking hyperbaric chamber for the rest of your life, then why are we even locking people up?
Yeah, what's the point?
What's the point?
I texted you this cartoon.
Enforcement of law?
Oh my, it's worse than I thought.
Instead of firing a gun at a prisoner, instead of shooting the prisoner, you're doing liberal policies to them.
Yes, that's awesome.
I like that the grip is labeled soft on crime, like a soft grip or what, but yeah, it's good.
Like, is the whole gun a metaphor for the enforcement of law, but like, just this particular gun is the soft-on-crime gun?
Oh boy, okay.
Oh boy, okay.
Um...
Is Tony, are you doing crimes over there?
I'm doing some crimes, yeah.
Don't tell anybody though.
Okay, I think that's it for this story.
I won't tell you which ones.
Good story!
I'm glad... Hey!
Department of Corrections, you get a thumbs up for Minion Death Cult this week.
We love you guys over here on this podcast.
We will need to... Sorry.
We will need to do like a follow-up.
To see what their solution is, because it's going to be awful.
But for now, there is no solitary confinement.
That's good, because that is torture.
That is inhumane.
I mean, the whole thing is, but that especially.
Moving on, we have an article here from the Washington Post, which Very good article.
I was tickled throughout.
Police posted a photo of a man they say stole diapers from Walmart.
Strangers across the country came to his defense.
So already that seems pretty cool, right?
Elizabeth Fielder was scrolling through Facebook when she came across, like all of us do, when she came across a post.
Except for today.
Circulating on social media from a Florida police department.
The post included a photo of a man who police said stole two boxes of diapers and some wipes from a Walmart.
Yeah, and they didn't even shoot him because we're getting too soft on crime here.
They did, but just a flag came out.
And then he used it to wipe his baby's butts with.
Fielder felt an anger rise inside.
Images posted by the Winter Haven Police Department showed the man on September 15th walking through Walmart with two young children, one cradled in his right arm and the other holding his left hand.
At self-checkout, he tried to use two credit cards to pay for diapers.
Both were declined, police said.
He left the store with the kids at one point, but quickly returned on his own and wheeled out the items in a cart without paying.
Good.
That's what you're supposed to do.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's the way to go.
I feel bad for my manager because he didn't just do that in the first place.
I'm sorry you had to go through that motion of getting your card declined because that shit hurts.
But yeah, absolutely.
This guy is a saint for trying two different credit cards at Walmart.
Yeah.
Walmart doesn't need your credit.
They don't need your money, guys.
Yeah, it's fine.
They're gonna be fine.
So this is the post from the Winter Haven Police Department.
Boo.
Boo.
Lame.
So when your card is declined and you try another one with the same result, that is not license to just walk out with the items anyway.
The guy pictured below, parentheses, poor little kids had no idea, went to Walmart on September 15th around 4.30 p.m.
and selected items, ultimately heading to the self-checkout lanes.
He scans the items, that first mistake right there.
Yeah, blew it, sorry bud.
Scans the items, Uh, attempts to pay and the card is declined several times.
He walks out of the store leaving the items behind.
Uh, he comes back in with a different card.
That card was also declined several times.
But, dot dot dot dot, he hi- he decides to take the items anyway.
He was seen entering a white SUV, possibly a Chevy Trailblazer.
Anyone recognize him?
Please call Sergeant Hall at 863-291-5736.
Memorize that phone number, folks.
Yeah, write that one down.
The kids' faces had been blocked out with a smile emoji.
I love the line, poor little kids had no idea.
What?
That their dad was getting the stuff they needed?
It sounds like he was trying to provide for them.
Yeah, they totally knew something was going on.
Kids are aware.
We're aware when that stuff's going on, you know?
Yeah, that sucks.
And also, I know it's Walmart, so it's especially lame, but when I see people posting shit about when your homie's shop got shoplifted from, when you talk about, have you seen this fucking piece of shit?
That's cop shit, don't do that.
Don't ever do that.
I see it too often.
You gotta kind of mind your own business on that one.
Yeah.
Fielder, who is 16 and lives in Johnson County, Kansas, said she felt sadness for the man in the photo and decided to leave a comment on Facebook.
Quote, doubt I will get a response, but I will pay for these items as long as you leave this man alone, she wrote the same day.
Good.
Great shit.
Her comment was soon liked by more than 4,000 people.
Fielder wasn't alone in her outrage.
The post was shared several thousand times and more than 4,500 people weighed in, saying they were offended and upset by the police notice.
Facebook users across the United States and even other countries commented that they wanted to help the man and his children.
Quote, I'm very supportive of police in general, but this is just cold and heartless, commented a man from Jacksonville, Florida.
Well, pay attention then, dawg.
Yeah.
Start paying attention.
Because the thing is, that's what should have happened.
It should have been, if anything, it's like, hey, have you seen this guy?
We need to help him out.
We're going to go help this guy out.
That's what should have happened.
They should have, you know, if they know who this guy is, then go offer him resources.
See what's going on.
See like, hey, we can help you.
That's what should be happening, but that's never an option.
There's two options here with this comment.
I'm very supportive of police in general, but this is just cold and heartless.
This is either somebody playing, you know, 4D chess, which is good.
That's a good thing to do in these comment sections.
Or it's somebody who just needs to, like, do a bit of thinking.
Yeah.
Do a bit more thinking.
Because it's, I mean, it's literally the police's job to do these cold and heartless things that you're remarking on.
Yeah, that's in the description.
The man is trying hard to care for his children.
Have some compassion, wrote a woman from New York.
I am so disappointed in this post.
I'll pay for his diapers.
I'm not saying it was right, but seriously, I'm sorry, guy, for the embarrassment and sorry for the person who felt the need to post this.
That's that's a very funny way to put this and and I saw that response a few times was like man whoever posted this really needs to reconsider what they're doing it's like no they they they're a cop who posted this was a cop and they didn't like They weren't peer pressured or brainwashed into posting this.
They decided to be a cop because of personality defects, because they're a bad person.
They live for this shit.
They're excited about this.
They didn't feel the need to post this.
This post needed to happen.
The way that their brains are developed, the way the skull rests on that part of the brain, it makes it so they have no choice but to post it.
Yeah.
And it's also, it like, individuates, I don't know if that's the right term, but it like alienates?
these people from the system that they're participating in you know what i'm saying like oh this person could have decided not to post this and it's like no there's a whole system in place to make sure that there are people who will quote post things like this which is to say put out wanted signs for quote criminals like that's what the system is and so you can't be like oh we need we need the good cop to just not to like look at every criminal and say oh is this a good guy who was just down on his luck
or is this a bad guy who had crime on his mind and that's the reason he stole from walmart oh Bad news guys good guy still crime on his mind.
Unfortunate situation.
It's gotta go.
Uh, quote, I am so disappointed in this post.
I'll pay for his diapers.
I'm not saying it was right.
Oh, I just read that one.
Yeah.
Um, Fielder said she felt moved to post a comment because almost everyone she knows is struggling during the pandemic.
Quote, lower income people are especially feeling the effects, she said in an interview with the Washington Post.
No one wants to be poor.
No one should ever feel the need to steal out of necessity in one of the world's richest countries.
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Absolutely.
As the backlash continued, media outlets covered the story.
The Winter Haven Police Department issued a statement on September 21st.
Quote, many people are upset with the police department, but Walmart is the victim, and they asked us to file the report, and they want to press charges, wrote Jamie Brown, public information officer for the Winter Haven Police.
We are obligated to move forward.
You don't understand how much people pick on Walmart.
Listen, Walmart's a real victim here.
Listen, I realize as people you want us to act in your interest, but our boss, this corporation, is instructing us to act otherwise.
We literally have to do it.
Sorry.
I wish there was an option B here, bud.
Yeah, sorry, we don't work for you.
Yeah.
Quote, when this occurs and we don't have a suspect name, we utilize social media to seek out the public's help.
She added, this has always been a very good tool in identifying those who commit crimes.
This case is no different.
And she's right.
Yes.
She is.
We do this dastardly, despicable shit all the time.
It's literally our job to do this shit.
And it's society's fault that it continues because if it didn't work, they wouldn't do it.
But we keep on ratting.
And what's funny is no one says out loud they want to be everyone.
Everyone talks shit about how they don't like rats.
But they're all fucking rats.
Yeah, we have we have a big problem a rat mindset in this country.
Yeah, but This particular comment section is heartwarming.
This particular response, everybody else was like, leave him the fuck alone.
This world we live in is hard, said Brooke Brennan, 34, a college student and a mother of four from Fort Lee in Virginia.
She asked that the Winter Haven Police Department send her a bill for the diapers and said she would gladly pay for it.
People are out of work, losing family and friends, and dying.
I can't fix the world, but I can show some compassion to those having a tougher time than myself.
My first reaction to the photos was not that the man was a thief, but rather a father facing an impossible decision to either break the law or not have basic necessities for his kids, she added.
Marshall Welch, a 34-year-old hotel manager from Florida, said he was disappointed that the Winter Haven police shared the dad's embarrassing situation on social media.
I'm so disappointed in the police.
I got it.
I thought they were better than this.
Exactly.
This is an ethics question.
Parent steals diapers because they can't afford them is the old school ethics question, you know?
Is this a good person or a bad person?
We've all been over this.
Why do they think this was... I guess it has gone over well so many times.
This sucks.
I don't disagree that he broke the law, Welch said.
See, I do disagree.
I think it's legal to steal from Walmart.
I've heard it is.
I've heard it on this very show.
No one can convince me otherwise.
I think that that's true.
That it's legal to take stuff, if you want it, from Walmart.
I will say, though, is that it is legal at Walmart, but they are looking for it at Walmart.
They're not looking for it at other places like Target.
I will say that.
It's legal at both places, but it's a little more legal at Target.
At Target, it's legal up to $999.
And then once you steal $1000, they throw you a big party and take you away to solitary confinement.
Which, again, is different through the self-checkout.
Just don't put things in bags.
Well, I mean, who knows?
Who knows what they're seeing in self-checkout.
True.
I would mix it up.
Go to different targets, you know.
Also, still wear your mask because of COVID.
It's really good for everything.
It's a responsible thing to do.
Yeah, responsible to do that.
So, yeah.
I don't disagree that he broke the law.
What I disagree with was out of all the cases they get from Walmart, why did they choose to blast a father trying to provide for his children after many attempts to pay for the items?
Walmart did not respond to a request from the Washington Post for comment, but after somebody recognized the man's photo on Facebook and called police, the retailer signed a waiver of prosecution with the Winter Haven Police Department, meaning charges won't be filed, Brown said in a second statement issued September 23rd.
Quote, we made contact with the man and explained to him that Walmart is not going to press charges.
She said, we also provided a host of local organizations that are available to help.
Brown thanked everyone on Facebook who had reached out with concern for a man they didn't know.
Quote, we let him know of the many people wanting to help him and his family, she said.
As a parent, this is a different person, Crystal Maddox, a real estate agent from Florida, said she was relieved to learn the man wouldn't be charged.
As a parent, I sympathized with the gentleman because there's no greater hurt than needing something for your child and not having the ability to detain it, said Maddox, 38.
In a time when things are already difficult for the family, piling on criminal charges would surely make matters worse.
No.
Going to prison is right.
It doesn't matter whether or not it helps society.
It doesn't matter whether or not it helps the individual.
In fact, it's better if it hurts the individual as much as possible.
That's what's good.
That's what we should do if we want to be a good society.
Well, now, I don't know.
I used to feel that way, but now that there's no solitary confinement, you're just taking that guy away in vain.
Like, that's all you're doing.
He's not gonna learn if he can't be, you know, so... I don't know about that.
Yeah, if we're not gonna fucking throw him down a well for stealing diapers, might as well just give him a new PS5.
Sorry, Tony.
Sorry, Penny.
You can't have your PS5 now because we're giving it to criminals.
We're giving it to criminals now.
We're giving it to thieves.
I'm sorry.
That's why you haven't been able... That's why there's a shortage on microchips and processors and stuff.
It's not because of Bitcoin.
It's because we're giving all the microchips to hardened criminals.
Sorry that your dad didn't get caught stealing diapers, but that's only because you don't use them anymore.
Like, that's the only reason why.
But what?
But I sold... I sold my PS5 to buy penny diapers.
No!
So, okay.
Faith in Facebook restored, right?
Absolutely.
Pretty good shit for Facebook.
And this happens to cops when they post corny shit on Facebook.
It does often go, you know, like when they post something that looks like a plumbing L-pipe covered in rust and they're like, oh, we got this firearm off the street, you know?
They get clowned on or when they you know fucking $10 worth of shake, you know, they have it.
They they throw it on a 20 foot by 20 foot table and they're like you see that you see that little speck right there That's where you're safe now because that's here.
You're welcome So that's cool.
They they did a follow-up post which was Which was something here, let me find it.
Oh We know, okay, so this is from September 23rd, two days after the event.
Winter Haven Police Department.
We know everyone is enthralled with the case of the Walmart shopper who walked out without paying after three attempts with three different cards.
Wow.
Why'd you embellish it that much, bros?
We did receive a tip of his identity this morning and we made contact with him.
We also have been speaking with Walmart and they have signed a waiver of prosecution, meaning no charges will be filed.
We delivered this news to the citizen.
We also told him of numerous resources available to include the police department.
I don't know what that means.
We offered assistance and he declined assistance.
Hell yeah.
Fuck you.
Thank you to all the caring citizens for offering help.
And then everybody fucking blasted them.
Everybody was like, fuck you.
You only didn't prosecute because Walmart told you not to charge him.
Because your fucking corporate overlords have more of a self-preservation instinct than the sentient thumbs on your police force.
Yup, that's exactly- that's so sad because like, they were gonna do it.
Like, Walmart had to go out of their way to stop them.
They were gonna do it without like, even thinking twice about it.
Who cares?
Boo-hoo, you're crying about it on social media.
What do you think the last two years have been for police?
Yeah.
There's people crying about them on social media.
Guess what?
It doesn't fucking change anything.
No, they just- They don't give a shit.
It almost empowers them.
They almost get power from it.
But it was just, man, it was so nice to see just everybody talking open shit to these cops.
Hell yeah.
This other post I found on Winter Haven's police department's Facebook, they have, yeah, photos of a guy in a shopping cart, close-up photos of his tattoos, like from a down, you know, overhead angle at the self-checkout, and they post
baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo exclamation point okay sorry dash just couldn't resist okay the guy pictured went to walmart and utilized the self checkout to purchase some food items however he quote forgot to scan the shark vacuum under his cart parentheses valued at 229 dollars
When the hostess tried to tell him that he didn't scan the vacuum and he needed to retreat back to pay for the item, he continued walking away.
She got distracted and he was gone before she realized it.
Someone knows this guy.
If you recognize him, please contact Sgt.
Hall blah blah blah.
So lame.
Hate it so much.
Again, you gotta be willing to take the L. For the self-checkout, you gotta take the L. You just gotta leave it there.
Yeah.
If you get spotted, you gotta be like, oh shit, fuck.
Oh, that's my bad.
That would have been crazy.
I would have felt so embarrassed if I had gotten that for free.
You go, yeah, no shit.
I was giving it to you so you can take it back.
I don't want this piece of shit fucking vacuum.
It's a bad vacuum.
I was reading reviews while I was waiting in line for the self-checkout.
I got Dyson at home, bitch.
Fuck you I just wanted to I just wanted to experience what it was like to be a poor person What like what it would be like if I were poor buying a vacuum for only two hundred and twenty nine dollars I'm gonna vacuum right now.
I'm so mad The baby shark You know what sucks?
I feel like that was almost the sole motivation of this post.
Psychotic Fucking infantile Baby fascists You know what sucks?
I feel like that was Almost the sole motivation of this post It wasn't even about getting this guy caught It was about getting that joke off Are there literally Just like Walmart's security team The public fucking police in this town.
Just like twice a week going through their feed was like, oh Walmart asked us to fucking arrest this person.
Walmart asked us to look for this person.
Walmart's the victim here.
I bet there's a target in that same area.
I bet there's a target of where that police department is.
So the responses to this...
This post as well.
Uh, good stuff.
Let me just kill some time while I find it.
Yeah.
Felix Levy says, it's called idiot tax for firing your cashiers.
What?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
That's sometimes that's, and that's why I tell people I'm like, they actually have this factored into their, this is in their budget.
Somebody else, I don't have the comment, but somebody else was like, well, uh, they haven't been OSHA trained on how to safely scan a package.
Uh, so you can't expect them.
Gino Garton says, why don't they pay a checkout employee enough to prevent this from happening?
Nikki Aerosmith says, what, what is this a Walmart protection force?
Yeah.
Antz Francisca says, bring the cashiers back and you won't have this problem.
Dot, dot, dot.
You don't pay us to do this job.
Dot, dot, dot.
And he just gave himself a little raise.
Dot, dot, dot.
Don't like it?
Bring back a paid employee.
Amen.
Amen.
That rules.
That fucking rules.
Pretty good response.
I went to the Washington Post comment section.
For this story, because, you know, that's that's the outlet that I was reading it from.
And, you know, well, we got a few minutes here left.
I just I'll just give the listener a taste of what the Washington Post comment section was like.
It was, you know, mostly positive, mostly like, you know, anti-Walmart, a lot of like
pay their fair share in taxes rhetoric or like you know pay a living wage sort of rhetoric which is like that's good it's not it's not great you know it's not it's not the best it's got a lot of room to grow there but yeah um but there was a lot of uh there were a lot of bad comments too like digital spectrum says uh that police post was written by a female no man would have worded it that way disgusting What?
No, that's always a dude.
That's always a guy.
Who are you talking about?
Those are called dad jokes.
Like, what are you... Fuck off.
This guy... You hate women so much, you gotta make this about that?
Calm down.
You know, I... The income inequality, you know, having to resort to crime to feed your family, that part's bad.
What's worse is that the cop might have been a woman.
Yeah, yeah.
It's unacceptable at this point.
Someone hacked onto this.
A woman definitely wrote that.
There's no women on the force.
Wow.
If I had a woman cop arrest me, I'd be begging for solitary confinement.
You feel me?
You feel me?
Yeah.
Cruel and unusual punish- If they're getting rid of solitary confinement, they should get rid of having a dumbass broad be your arresting officer.
Yeah.
One step at a time, bros.
Oh my god.
San Francisco Law says, so what the thief's supporters are saying... So this is not about the shark vacuum, just to reiterate.
This is the Washington Post article about the father who took the diapers.
San Francisco Law says, so what the thief's supporters are saying, they would be okay with this guy stealing items from their cars in the parking lot.
And I just want to reiterate maybe to our American listeners, you know, we probably have a lot of American listeners, you know, here.
You are not the same as Walmart.
No.
You're not, like, if you're a guy or a girl or gal or a non-binary pal or whatever, you're a different type of thing than a Walmart.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the one thing you're not is you're definitely not Walmart.
Yeah, that's not the same thing at all.
So when you're like, when you hear a story about Walmart, like don't put yourself, I know you have the instinct to do it.
Don't put yourself in the place of Walmart because that don't make no sense.
No, not a lick.
Not a lick of sense.
Uh, that's fine.
To each their own.
Just to be clear, I would NOT be okay with this.
Maybe I shouldn't read okay like I'm yelling.
That's just, you know, it's just the abbreviation.
Uh, with this guy breaking into my car and doing his shopping, no matter how desperate he might be, crime as crime.
And I think he meant to put crime as crime, but he's a big asshole idiot, so he messed that one up.
Um.
Yeah, I don't know.
Somebody did break into my car.
They broke into my car and they stole a bag that had nothing in it.
You know, because I was foolish enough to leave an empty gym bag in my car overnight in Seattle.
And it's like, well, that sucks.
I don't want that person thrown in prison for it.
Yeah, why would you leave an empty gym bag in your car if you're not going to leave a camera in there and put like maybe a glitter bomb in your gym bag?
That's why you do that, right?
I think that's so cool.
People do that?
Is that a YouTube prank that they do?
Yeah, they do for like porch pirates, you know?
Yeah.
They make packages so they glitter bombs.
If it makes you feel any better, those are probably like 95% fake videos, staged videos.
Oh, absolutely, yeah.
For sure.
Tomas sent me one.
He was like, what would you do if this were you?
And it was like a delivery driver who showed up to somebody's door and they had like that big poster sized notepaper that you like rip off, you know, as you go, like you would put it on an easel or whatever.
Um, and it was like, there was video with sound and it had the driver like, Oh, what's this?
A sign for me?
And it was like, delivery driver.
And she's like reading it out loud as she goes.
And the signs basically said that it was like a mom who couldn't be home for her son's birthday.
Inside one of the boxes is Mickey Mouse.
Inside the other box is, you know, the boxes that the driver is delivering.
Inside the other box is his birthday gift.
There's $200 under your mat, under the mat.
And then that's all it said.
And so this delivery driver's like, huh, what does that mean?
Mickey Mouse inside of a box?
And so then she just starts opening the box.
What?
And pulls out a Mickey Mouse costume to put it on.
No.
Shut up.
Yeah.
And then pulls out a PS5 out of the other box, which, no, you have to get a fucking signature if you're delivering a PS5.
Trust me.
For sure.
And She's just standing there on the doorstep and then a little kid like walks up like he's walking home you know walks into frame and he goes Mickey Mouse and he runs up to her and gives her a hug and then she's like oh here you go happy birthday and he's all thanks I have to go inside now because I do what my mommy tells me
So it's just like, you know, one of the most real things I've ever seen and it moved me.
And I definitely, if I were that driver, I definitely would have opened up a customer's package, opened up both of them and put it on, you know, taking about 20 minutes to open up a customer's package, put on a costume and wait for a five-year-old to get home from school.
To, you know, for $200.
For $200, but also to make a child's day.
Because yes, having a pension is good.
Yes, having a living wage, you know, can afford to, you know, be comfortable and everything.
That's good.
However, putting a smile on a little child actor's face is priceless.
No, I'm not a big... I don't want to be a big fear monger.
I'm not a big... I never said save the children out loud, but I will say maybe don't get a stranger to put a costume on and give your kid a gift.
When you're not around.
Especially for $200.
Especially if that stranger has a van parked right out front.
There's someone that's gonna start crying like, this is the best day of my life.
$200, Mickey Mouse costume, PS5, and a kid?
Best day.
Man I can't wait for that like urban legend Facebook post to circulate that people are posing as UPS drivers to abduct your children to do heartwarming videos where they give them gifts but actually they're abducting your children and then I get shot in the head and splayed out in traffic.
It's gonna be like, watch out for that Mickey Mouse.
that Mickey Mouse might actually be a UPS driver. - So this, somebody else replied to San Francisco law and was like, Walmart fucking sucks.
They're like the richest people on earth.
Fuck them.
I like it when people steal from them, right?
Hell yeah.
And San Francisco Law replied, Yoda, colon, quote.
The Robin Hood gene is strong in this one.
Cool.
Pick one, baby.
Didn't even do the Yoda syntax.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that's not even right.
Also, just, what are you, so too, it's too muddled.
That is muddled for sure.
That's, it's a, yeah, that's bad.
It's, you're mixing up a couple metaphors there.
The Robin Hood gene, strong with this one.
That's just the way it is.
That's just the regular way you'd say that.
Somebody else replies with a similar sentiment.
And then he replies, Yoda, quote, there is another.
What's your deal with Yoda?
I don't think you know who Yoda is.
I'm not sure you are aware.
Do they think Yoda and Buddha are the same?
Is that what this is?
Yoda, Buddha, and Confucius are all one thing, and that's what he's trying to do here.
Yeah, Darth Confucius.
San Francisco Law says mocking is- so about his Yoda comment.
He wants to address his Yoda comment that he made.
Mocking is not nice.
I'm sorry, but I do think you've seen too many Robin Hood themed flicks.
So like Robin Hood?
So like the Robin Hood movies.
Yeah, all of them?
There is someone who loves all the Robin Hood movies, right?
A Robin Hood themed movie is like Dead Presidents.
That's true.
That's the difference.
That's a good one.
I have a lot of stuff, so we're not going to be able to get to all the Washington Post comments, but okay.
Indy Agnostic, this was a good one, says, this reminds me of an old reasoning test where we were presented with two facts followed by a conclusion.
You had to select between true, false, or insufficient data.
It went like this.
One.
The door slammed.
Two.
The baby startled and cried.
Conclusion.
The door caused the baby to startle and cry.
Answer.
Insufficient data.
Nowhere did it explicitly state that they were in the same house, or city for that matter.
Whoa!
Most people got it wrong.
They jumped to conclusions, and you're like, What the fuck does this have to do with the guy shoplifting from Walmart?
Yeah.
I am not saying that the man wasn't poor, or that he was stealing.
I am suggesting that there is insufficient data to cause anyone to conclude that he was poor.
Cards are denied for myriad reasons, having nothing to do with insufficient funds.
A chip could be damaged.
The card may not have been fully activated.
The point-of-sale system could be broken.
We don't know.
It has happened to all of us at some point.
Uh, no.
When I've had insufficient funds, I've told myself it was the reader's fault for sure.
I've said that.
Also, I feel like they're almost going, have you considered this might have been Jesus?
That the man might have been Jesus the whole time?
This guy's basically saying, like, if you had empathy for somebody stealing diapers from, or stealing diapers from Walmart, you know, for his kids or whatever, that's basically like a child thinking turning off a light switch is gonna kill their puppy.
Yeah.
You're a child.
You're irrational.
You're doing magical thinking like a child would if you just assume that he had a reason to take those diapers.
He might have just been, again, like I said, a bad person.
He might have just had crime on his mind.
I mean... They didn't even need the diapers.
This happens all the time to rich people.
Like, remember Winona, you know?
Like, same deal here.
This person might have been one of those rich people who begs for change on the freeway but they're making thousands of dollars a day.
You don't know who this guy was.
And that's cool, I like that explanation because I can say, oh I hate rich people, they're so bad.
All the criminals that are being arrested, they're probably secretly rich and that's why it's okay to hate them.
I'm actually not being classist or racist.
What if those weren't even his kids?
Have you thought about that?
What if he was trying to put diapers on kids that weren't his?
Yeah, how would he know what size to buy?
You know he looked.
Yep.
Oh wow.
See?
Insufficient data.
There we go.
How many comments do you think were about how cloth diapers are better than disposable diapers anyway?
So many.
So many.
Yeah.
I read like 50 comments about how the guys should have been using ecologically friendly- Shut up.
Shut up.
Reusable diapers instead of stealing.
Because it's so bad for the environment to steal disposable diapers for your kids.
I mean, you know what?
I bet you half the people who are bigging up this guy for stealing diapers get mad when they find diapers in parking lots.
You know?
Hypocrites everywhere.
Diaper, uh, Echo Chamber Invader.
Oh, we're about to get a dose of reality, a dose of the outside world in this Washington Post comment section.
Echo Chamber Invader says, Diapers, razors, soap, etc.
are all high theft items because they can be sold easily for cash for drugs.
Libs are so naive and there are plenty of criminals out there to take advantage of them.
No, dog.
Everything that is a high risk for theft is all locked up already.
It's already taken care of.
They already know about it.
So, I mean, I know what you're thinking, but they're on top of it.
Don't worry.
No, these things, people don't actually need these things.
They just buy them so they can sell them for drugs.
Who's buying them?
From the thieves?
Oh, people who just want to support their drug habits.
They don't even need the razors or anything.
They just sell really easily because I see somebody selling them and I'm like, that guy does drugs.
I'm also...
Yeah, no.
Overrated.
I want to buy these razors from him and then throw them down the drain because, you know, who cares about essential toiletries?
Yeah, no, no, overrated.
Overrated.
Well, they'll probably just prop kids, like I said.
I also love the idea that there are plenty of criminals out there to take advantage of Again, identifying with Walmart.
Like, I'm not Walmart.
This guy didn't take advantage of me whatsoever.
He actually impressed me.
I'm actually very impressed with him.
I commend him.
I give him a participation trophy for participating in one of the greatest sports of all.
I like it.
I like it.
Stealing from Walmart.
Stealing from Walmart.
Yeah.
I'll just read one more here.
There's so many, so many good ones.
USARIOC says, the police enforce the law.
That's their job.
Are people seriously saying that the police should be able to pick and choose which laws they want to enforce?
And I think he's got a point.
Get rid of them.
Yeah, yeah.
All together.
I don't want them to- You can't have a problem with the police if they don't exist.
If anybody's going to be picking and choosing what crimes to prosecute, it should not be the police.
No.
They're, like, opposite.
Whatever the cops, like, want to spend their time on, opposite.
That is a red flag.
If a cop shows any interest in anything whatsoever, like, run.
That's a huge red flag.
It's a bad thing, yeah.
This comment goes on, "Are people seriously saying that police "should be able to pick and choose "which laws they want to enforce?" What do you think the example's gonna be, Tony? - Something about tinting windows.
Uh, no.
Um, I like where you're going with that, though.
No.
Quote, I don't feel like enforcing laws against domestic violence today.
Sorry.
Yeah, dog.
Yeah, dog.
I mean, that's exactly what's happening.
Fuck.
That is what's happening, you idiot.
Read a book.
You're already there.
Read an article.
Read a Wikipedia entry.
What if cops didn't enforce domestic violence laws?
Wouldn't that be crazy?
We wouldn't like that.
That'd be bad.
That'd be real bad.
What would be the point of the cops?
Yeah, just Google those words together.
Google cops and domestic violence.
It comes up.
Wow, can you imagine a world where cops got to pick and choose which crimes they didn't want to enforce?
Guess I won't enforce parking in front of a red curb for 30 minutes while I'm on my break.
Can you imagine what that would be like?
Yeah.
That's just tip of the iceberg, you know?
Yeah, just put those words into a search engine.
It comes up immediately.
That's awesome.
You couldn't think of a better example of things that cops don't actually enforce.
I just wish I could be that dumb.
I just think about how happy I might be if I didn't know all those things.
Hey, next time your spouse is abusing you or whatever, Call a crackhead.
Don't call a cop, call a crackhead.
Yeah, call a crackhead.
And I mean that genuinely.
Yeah, I'm actually, they actually might help you at least pack your stuff in the time that you have allotted and we'll get you out of there.
Alright, that's the episode.
So, two wholesome stories for everybody today.
Facebook successfully cowed Walmart into not sicking their dogs on that man, so that's good.
And then also, an end to solitary confinement in Washington.
We like to see it.
We told the Washington Department of Corrections to do better, and you know what they did.
Good job.
They listened.
Keep on posting, y'all.
I think we should give them more money now.
Keep commenting, keep posting.
We're making a difference.
I'm of course joking.
Anybody new to the show, I'm joking.
But yeah, thanks everybody for listening.
Thank you for supporting the show on Patreon.
P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult again gets you a bonus episode every single week directly in your podcast player.
That thing you're listening to right now.
That episode just dumps straight in there.
And you get to listen to it immediately.
You can also listen to it on your browser if that's, I don't know, people are weird.
Some people listen to podcasts in their browser.
Do your thing.
No judgment.
A lot of time in your life.
Yeah, and you're supporting the show.
You're helping Tony not have to steal any more diapers for his, what, 11-year-old?
How old's Penny?
She's eight, but yeah.
Okay, so she's still got some ways to go to grow out of the diapers.
We used to do much cooler things for her now, in diapers.
