IF elected President, not only will I be the first Hispanic President, everyone on death row is executed within a day
This week we cover the story of a police officer flipping a pregnant woman's car with a PIT maneuver because she wanted to find a safe place to pull off the road and We worship in the church of Ruben Israel, a fundamentalist street preacher with a confident, no-nonsense approach to politics Music: Young Livers - Non Monumental Support the show for $3.11/mo at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week as well as instant access to hundreds of hours of previous bonus content
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned, guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
Oh, they're in Bartholstein.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Pregnant motorists are responsible.
We're documenting it.
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We have a wild show for everybody today.
We got a couple topics here.
The first one's pretty wild in a bad way.
The second one is wild in just a great way.
Just a very fun, harmless kind of way, I think.
The first story, I saw this, this kind of was a pretty popular story for obvious reasons.
I'm reading here from CNN.
Arkansas state trooper sued for allegedly causing a pregnant woman's car to flip during a traffic stop.
They just love using that word allegedly of something that we're going to watch happen.
Well, they love using it when it's attributable to a police officer.
Yeah you don't see allegedly used very much it's just man arrested for shooting and then maybe down in the uh in the in the text of it they'll say you know the allegation or the charges or whatever uh this headline is is Possibly the most mealy mouth, you know, as mealy mouth as you can get.
Yeah, allegedly flipping a... I mean, who's to say how the car flipped?
You watch the video, he noses into her rear quarter panel, and then the car flips.
I mean... Many would argue that's a roll.
Can you really prove cause and effect?
I think David Hume explicitly showed that you couldn't.
We have papers for this.
The video is insane.
He's passed by a woman speeding on the freeway and turns his lights on.
She moves over to the right lane immediately and slows down and puts her hazards on.
There's no shoulder Wild.
that she can safely pull over to.
So she signals her intent to eventually stop with the hazards, which is not good enough for the police officer who does a pit maneuver on her car to flip it upside down.
Wild.
Yeah.
The assumptions that you're putting into this calculation are so insane.
The cost-benefit analysis this guy did right here was like, this person's speeding.
It's worth putting everyone's life on the line.
Well, it's unsafe.
For her to drive over the speed limit is unsafe.
I better flip her car upside down. - Yeah.
I like the headline too that goes, causing a pregnant woman's car to flip during a traffic stop.
I don't know if you can describe it as a traffic stop yet.
No.
Like the flip preceded the stop, I think.
Yeah, it was gonna be a traffic stop.
That was what was gonna happen, but someone got a little impatient.
It's a very short video.
Yeah, it's two minutes long.
He flips her car because she doesn't pull over after two minutes of driving slowly with her hazards on.
Yeah, it's disgusting.
An Arkansas woman is suing a state trooper after she claims he performed a dangerous pit intervention technique, parentheses, pit maneuver during a traffic stop, which caused her vehicle to flip on its top as she attempted to pull over.
An attorney for Janice Nicole Harper filed the lawsuit last month in Pulaski County, the county seat of Little Rock.
Harper, who was two months pregnant at the time of July 9th, 2020, incident, which is, wow.
After a year, we're finally seeing the video and hearing about it.
Yeah, this is brand new to us.
Yeah.
Alleges Arkansas State Police Trooper Rodney Dunn negligently performed the pit maneuver that resulted in a motor vehicle collision.
Harper said she slowed down but didn't immediately pull over because there was no safe place for her to do so.
The shoulder did not have enough room for my car alone, but my thoughts were also he, the officer, didn't need to be standing beside my car there.
Like, there literally was not enough room, she told CNN's Chris Cuomo.
Alan C. Johnson, an Arkansas State Trooper.
You know what?
I just, I kind of want to be a little disrespectful to this state trooper.
So for the duration of this article, I'm going to read it as Arkansas.
Allen C. Johnson, an Arkansas State Trooper, and Dunn's supervisor, along with Colonel William Bryant, Arkansas State Police Director, are also named in the suit.
The suit also states that Arkansas State Police failed to train Dunn in the appropriate manner of initiating a stop on a road with extremely reduced shoulder and improper and safe pit maneuver technique.
Oh, they didn't train him enough.
We need to get these guys more money so we can train them not to do things.
The training is going to be something awful, too, like shutting down the freeway three days a year so they can do pit maneuvers on a real freeway.
I thought you were saying shutting down the freeway so that they can just stop every single person who's trying to commute and check them to see if they're doing anything illegal.
And you got to check the bottom of the car.
And how are you going to do that without flipping it?
I think it would just be the safest way.
You know, I got my heart breaks for this woman who flipped her car.
It's so unsafe.
I think everybody should just get a personal police officer that rides in the car with you.
There you go.
We need to start funding these departments properly.
And I understand that, you know, maybe we can't get a human for that job.
And like, I don't see why we can't just have everyone have a personal robot.
Yeah, that would probably be more efficient.
Yeah, that's the Democrats.
No, we need a smart system.
We can't have a wall.
We can't have an armed guard inside everybody's car.
What we need is a RoboCop.
Robots don't see color.
Although we've shown time and time again that AI tends to be racist.
Well, you plug enough internet into it, and then, yeah.
CNN has reached out to the Arkansas State Police for a statement.
CNN has not been able to reach Dunn, and it is unknown if he has an attorney.
According to the lawsuit, Harper was traveling on US Highway 67 when Dunn clocked her speeding.
She was going 84 miles per hour in a 70-mile-an-hour zone.
And again, like, that part isn't allegedly.
That part is just reported as straight news.
Yeah.
And you see that moment, you see that moment, like, you can't clock, like, that is not an official clock, right?
Isn't that what they say?
If you, if you're both traveling, it's not a real clock.
So you see her coming past him, there's no proof of this.
This is like, this is the most alleged thing in the whole, the whole story.
Yeah, but of course, CNN is, uh, Just reporting this as straight fact.
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Yeah.
The suit states that Dunn activated his emergency lights to initiate a stop on Harper.
Within seconds of the trooper initiating his overhead lights, Harper turned on her blinkers and her hazards and dropped her speed to 60 miles per hour and moved into the right travel lane.
According to the Arkansas Driver License Guide, when drivers are being stopped by the police, they should activate their turn signal or emergency flashers to indicate they are seeking a safe place to stop and pull over to the right side of the road.
However, due to concrete barriers and a reduced shoulder on both sides of the road, Harper was unable to safely stop her vehicle on the right or left shoulder, according to the lawsuit.
If you watch the video a little bit more, it was just a little bit before where he hit me, you'll notice a sign that says the exit is one mile away.
Just after he hit me, the road kind of turns and it opens up and the shoulder does get bigger.
There is more space and it would have been so much safer.
Well, no, you have to actually do pit maneuvers while there are barriers on both sides to prevent the vehicle from, like, leaving the actual... If it goes into oncoming traffic, that's more dangerous.
So if you're gonna flip a car, you do it between barriers.
He had to do it then or never.
Uh, done.
So the officer was seen in the dash cam video approaching the wreckage.
As he helps her out, he is heard asking her, why didn't you stop?
Uh, she says, I thought he was going to, oh, she says, because I didn't feel like it was safe.
Jokes on my, jokes on me, I guess.
Egg on my face.
There was apparently a much less safe alternative.
I love that he did that thing that like, you know, like guys do.
Why'd you make me do this?
Yeah.
Look what you made me do.
Um, he, he did a pit maneuver and it felt like a kiss.
And like, this is a, this is a problem.
This is something that happens all the time.
I have a friend who was killed during a high speed chase.
He was on his bike.
He was riding his bike and they chased a guy right where... It's a little back canyon road.
They chased him in there and the guy missed the corner and just ran my friend over.
Because he was being chased by the police.
And nothing came of that.
Like, nothing came of that.
They were like, well, I mean, you shouldn't have been riding your bike legally the way you're supposed to be riding your bike with your helmet on.
You should have known we were going to chase some guy.
Like, I think it was nuts.
It was something like 110 miles an hour.
It's just a sick, sad world.
You know, you never know what these people are going to do.
It's just random acts of violence, you know, that aren't in any way exacerbated by a militarized, aggressive, ego-driven, frankly crazed police force.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that's all it is.
It's just they take it as like a personal insult that you don't want to do what they tell you to do immediately.
Yeah, it's like you listen to the lights, you listen to the badge.
This is not me.
When you ignore me, you're ignoring the law and, like, all decency.
You're ignoring, like, the only thing I have going for me.
You're ignoring, like, what my entire self-worth is wrapped up in, which is the ability to, uh, you know, give commands and have them followed.
Yeah.
Um... And this is, like...
This is just an escalation of the whole high-speed pursuit thing, which experts and people who study these things have been saying for years, don't do them.
Don't do them, they are bad.
They do not, they're not safe.
A guy robbed a convenience store, maybe even a guy shot somebody.
Like, how is forcing that person, engaging that person in a high-speed pursuit Going to make anything better?
Now I sound like a Democrat, but it's like, use a drone!
Follow him with a drone!
Or anything!
You now know who they are.
You can now usually find them.
Do that detective work that we see on TV all the time.
Like, you know, don't, you don't need to, there's nothing worth putting people's lives on the line, more people's lives on the line for right away.
It's insane.
But it's beyond that.
It's this person was just speeding.
They were doing something unsafe, but they didn't follow, they didn't follow my orders immediately.
So I'm going to attempt to kill them.
Yeah.
Because they weren't being safe.
I do like how part of this headline is, it's very punchy, and it's a good thing they did that because it's effective, is pregnant woman.
Yeah, we'll get into that in the comments, but yeah.
Yeah, you can't, this guy's just driving, this person is nothing but a speeder to them, there is no profiling happening yet, this is just a car, this is just a fast car.
Yeah, this one did not get a very warm reaction from a lot of people.
And it is like the pregnant woman aspect of it, unfortunately.
You know, I mean, it's unfortunate that it happened to this woman first and foremost, but it's also unfortunate that you have to be like, you know, oh, this pregnant woman instead of just a human being.
Yeah.
This human being was almost killed by a fucking cop for their own safety, of course.
She was charged, uh, cited, she was cited in the incident for speeding and failure to yield to an emergency vehicle.
Uh.
Whoa.
Uh, I don't understand how they're charging me with fleeing when I wasn't fleeing.
That doesn't make any sense at all.
Uh, yeah, so, I mean, not only did he flip her car, he also, uh, ticketed her for the trouble.
Twice.
Charged her twice.
Imagine doing the paperwork after that.
Having the gall to write that shit down.
Well, it's just, it's once again, like, you can't admit you made a mistake.
You can't ever say that you did the wrong thing.
You have to lean into it and say, yeah, no, what were you thinking?
Of course, this is your fault.
You think he tried to, you think he tried to ignore, like, the court date like they do?
Like, when she tried to fight, fight the ticket?
I'm just not going to show up and then get cantled.
Maybe they'll, they'll all just be walking under the bridge.
Yeah, no, I don't know.
You gotta put your foot down with these pregnant women, you know?
They get a little uppity when they, oh, I'm responsible for life.
Oh, I'm, you know, no.
Sorry.
Sorry, sweetie.
You're no better than the rest of us.
She's lucky she didn't get like a child endangerment ticket.
Yeah, the child's okay.
I think the child's four months old now, I read, so it's okay for us to make jokes about this.
Yes.
I want to get into responses because yeah, overwhelmingly, the responses were so funny.
I didn't, I mean, I think we'll get into a little bit of it, some of the more like mealy-mouthed stuff, but there were so many people who were like, I backed the blue 100%, but this was clearly reckless.
Yeah.
It's like every, almost every single protest that we've been talking about, every one of these deaths that we've been protesting are also reckless, dude.
Yeah, they're all bad.
We can disagree about whether or not the police serve a positive role in a, you know, compassionate society.
We can disagree about that.
But when you look at a cop shooting somebody running away from them, Or shooting somebody before they can even get their wallet out of their pants to give you their ID or whatever.
Why isn't that considered reckless?
And it is because of the pregnant woman aspect of it.
It is.
And it's probably not even because of the woman.
It's probably because of that little miracle.
Right.
Um, JoLynn Miller says, these are all from the Oregon Fox Affiliates Facebook page.
Uh, JoLynn Miller said it's her fault.
The police officer is trained to keep himself safe.
I totally sympathize with being worried that there's not enough room, but that's not her call.
Follow the rules and pull over.
What was the part where this officer was in danger?
Where was the danger from?
What is your justification here?
Well, you've seen all those criminals that I just alluded to running away from police.
I mean, this, you know, and still posing a threat to our boys in blue while running away.
All those shootings were justified.
This woman was basically running away, but at 60 miles an hour.
You can't run any faster than driving.
That's so much more dangerous than whatever, like, you know, the 30 miles an hour your average black person can run.
She was basically running... She was running in, like, a giant neck suit, you know?
That's what a car is.
Yeah, dude, she was gonna... She was just trying to speed off to, like, go on her next speeding spree.
She was about to go to a completely different freeway and do more speeding.
Do more speeding.
Reckless speeding.
Yeah, and that's what a lot of people are saying.
He was just trying to keep himself safe.
He had a duty to get that speeding car.
Because it sets an example for all the other pregnant women out there who think they can get away with this shit.
I wish she would have said that she was in labor, even though she's only two months pregnant.
She's like, I'm on my way to the hospital!
I gotta go.
I'm on my way to the women's health clinic that I know isn't an abortion clinic.
And they're gonna talk me into keeping the baby, you're putting it up for adoption, and he's like, oh shit, right away, ma'am.
Let me escort you.
He was actually trying to pass her to escort her, and it just went haywire.
Maybe, yeah, I don't know, maybe he was flirting with her.
Maybe he just wanted to give her a little bump.
Yeah, that is totally a plot line.
I could see that.
When I realized that she actually was trying to pull over, that's when I realized that maybe I loved her.
Hey, there's something between us.
It's about three feet, and I'm gonna change that.
Jamie Lant says, uh, police are trained on how to do the pit.
Some obviously do it wrong on purpose because they want to wreck people.
This appears to be one of those cases.
He did everything wrong.
You're supposed to gently make contact and push the vehicle, maintaining contact.
He literally rammed this lady off the road.
So he didn't do one of those, like, nice, gentle pit maneuvers, which are, once again, designed to wreck the other vehicle.
And are something that you're just not supposed to do in your career.
It's something you're supposed to avoid having to do.
It's not something you do on a weekly basis that you can, like, perfect and really get.
No, I really, really, you know, slid in there and really guided them gently to the shoulder.
I usually get a thank you when I'm done doing a pit maneuver.
Think about it, though, okay?
You're a cop, right?
You're like a piece of shit, you know?
You have that mentality.
You see somebody speeding who's like hasn't pulled over.
You know, yeah, they moved over, they put on their hazards, but also they're like refusing even your second and third command or whatever.
And there's nobody else on the freeway.
Like, that's kind of the best time to do the pit maneuver.
That's like, you've been wanting to do the pit maneuver, for sure.
That's beyond you.
That was God.
That was God giving you a little gift.
And you know, there's nobody else on the freeway, so it's safe to do it, you know?
And no, that doesn't excuse her speeding, but it does excuse you doing the pit maneuver.
They did clip out the audio where right before he does it, he goes, just like the movies, dog, and then goes for it.
Um, Nicole Schmidt says, well, she shouldn't have been speeding, especially since she was pregnant, but the officer should not have overreacted over a speeding violation.
And it reminds me of, uh, uh, yeah, one of the many times we've covered, you know, shootings of unarmed, uh, men running away from the police.
It reminds me of that comment we had, which was, you know, I don't like, uh, killing, killing unarmed people.
And I also don't like running away from police.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's like, wow, that's a real catch 22 there.
What do you, what do you, what do I do?
I see somebody running from me.
I don't like either of these options.
I got, I got it.
Oh, I'm sorry.
And you know, one begat the other.
If you ask me.
Yeah.
You're damned if you're, if you do, and you're damned if you don't, you know?
Um, I also like, especially since she was pregnant, Yeah!
A fetus can't handle certain... they can only handle so many G's.
They can't handle that kind of force from the speeding.
Yeah, no, I just like using her pregnancy to condemn her but not the cop who did the pit maneuver.
Yeah, not the cop who was like... who assaulted the pregnant woman.
This woman, Shannon, she was like, uh, it looked fine to me.
Now, if he had really like rammed her harder or whatever, that would have been bad or something like that.
And people were replying, like, what are you talking about?
Like he did hit her pretty hard enough to make her flip the car.
And this, this person specifically said, uh, good Lord woman, get your eyes checked.
And then, and then Shannon replied, uh, they just, they just aren't that good anymore.
All.
So like she like literally couldn't see what happened in the video she was commenting on it like the police officer was right I didn't see anything bad and people are like uh are you blind and she's like I'm half half blind actually a little bit yeah she might be that thing like like but I don't know there's a certain thing that happens at age like my mom has it where She needs her readers for everything, and she has everything four feet away from her face, but she goes to the optometrist, and she still doesn't need glasses for some reason?
I'm like, no, you need something.
That's what she's going through, and it's a really sad, it's a silent struggle they're going through.
It's not like the focusing ability, it's like the strength of the eye.
Like the eye can't suck in enough image to see it.
I think that's how that works.
No, I wonder how many of, like, the responses we've gotten over the years, how many of the deranged comments, the deranged replies and responses and reactions to, you know, the stuff we cover on the show, how much of it is because just these people, like, literally couldn't see what was happening.
It was just everything was a little bit exaggerated because it was a little bit out of focus.
Or maybe they just missed pieces.
They just couldn't see that cop's boot connect to the kid's temple.
They didn't actually see that happen.
I think they did a fine job.
They have a weird edited version that gets to them somehow.
I just don't see it at all.
Finally, Lynn Miller.
Says, she never responded to multiple attempts to pull over.
And every time the news promotes her lawsuit, it's to remind Americans she was pregnant.
And the public's eyes glaze over.
We as Americans are definitely so sick of hearing about the beauty of pregnancy and the value of unborn lives.
That's definitely something that Americans aren't pre-programmed to care about.
Notoriously.
I mean, if they would have had a puppy in the car, it probably would have been even more effective.
I love her being like, we don't care about pregnant women, right guys?
Right, everybody?
Yeah.
Uh, no trooper can tell the driver is pregnant.
This suit is meritless.
Next time, don't exceed posted speed, quote pregnant driver, by over a large amount.
Next time, be aware a trooper's lights and sirens are directed at you.
But mostly, next time, think of this first responder first!
You didn't do that here.
He followed department protocol.
Respect that.
I love that.
Like, no.
Remember, the person pulling you over is more important than you.
You need to think of them before everything else.
Think of them before yourself, before your family, you know, before your community.
That's the first responder.
They're there for you, so you need to think of them first.
Fuck.
You.
You have to think about the first responder who's In this instance, at least.
The police officer.
You have to think about this police officer who, you know, probably didn't get very high marks in school.
They have their spotlight shining on the car.
And those reverse lights on the car in front of them, they're going to be reflecting that light back at him.
And this guy probably thought that she was putting it in reverse to ram him from the front.
You have to think about the thought process of this police officer.
Just in general, people who are defending this police officer's actions by saying, you know, we as Americans, we're so sick of these pregnant women, you know, who cares, right?
It's, she literally followed the rules.
Like she, it's not even like within your rights or anything like that.
She did it by the book.
She did the, I'm turning on my hazards.
I'm performatively slowing down.
I'm doing all of these things that I am, uh, legally required to do.
And then she gets her car, uh, flipped her car turned into, uh, like a hoop in a stick and hoop game, you know?
And these people are still like, well, you have to think of the officer first.
Like, it's still not enough for these people who just want the police to be able to do whatever they want.
No, these rules all exist for the officer's safety.
That's the whole point.
That's the whole reason they exist, where it's like, me, I mean, I might just stop in the lane, see how that goes.
But I mean, like, no, she was doing all the right things, and it's all right, it's all proof right there, but still wasn't enough.
She, you know, honestly, she should have just flipped the car herself.
Cause like doing that, that puts him in danger too.
Doing the maneuver puts him in danger.
So she should have maybe like barrel rolled off the barrier to protect him.
Yeah.
And it just, it goes to show you like the mindset of a lot of people, a lot of Americans who are just like, Whatever happened, I am going to retroactively decide that the cop was right and the person that they injured was wrong.
Yeah, and there's no scenario where, like, because they are the law.
That's the final say.
What's this game called?
It's called I Win.
And yeah, he didn't follow department protocol by doing a pit maneuver on a person who was in the process of pulling over.
Oh, nope.
Yeah, good stuff.
He's a bit of a maverick.
He likes to go off book every once in a while.
Yeah, I mean, this seems to have garnered a lot of negative reaction.
Unfortunately, it is from more reformist types or centrist types who are like, yeah, we need to teach cops the right way to ram a vehicle off the road.
No, I think that the new rule should be treat every person as if they're pregnant.
I don't care what they look like, you treat every person you're about to arrest as if they're pregnant.
Uh, I don't know.
That opens us up for some sexual harassment lawsuits from some of these freaks, you know what I mean?
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
There's a lot of sick people out there.
Yeah, moving on to more, I think, more interesting fare.
We have a post that was sent to me by a couple people.
I'm just pulling up here.
Let's see if I can do it in a timely manner.
Yeah, the person who sent it to me on the MinionDeathCult DMs on Facebook... God, I fucking hate the Facebook app for pages.
It's so shitty.
It's terrible, and I don't know why it's not... That's why I don't use it.
The app is terrible.
I think it was Andrew.
I think Andrew sent it to me.
Thanks, Andrew.
This is a post from somebody named Reuben Israel, who is a real person.
This is a real guy.
This is not a bit.
It's just, it's just a good, just a good post.
Maybe the most real.
Reuben Israel is like a sort of fire and brimstone street preacher.
Except he doesn't look like your typical street preacher.
Not quite, uh, not quite bodybuilder, but something in between there.
He's broad.
He's broad for sure, and he definitely has like a, um, an Orange County Choppers feel too.
Yeah, exactly.
He has like, like, he's, you wouldn't, this guy's, this guy's tough.
He's brawny, we'll say.
Okay, Ruben Israel says... The photos I found of him are so fucking funny.
They are great.
There's like photos of him.
He's got two accounts.
He's got like a burner account on Facebook that's Israel Ruben.
The photos of him at Pride are great.
He's protesting Pride and he's wearing a sandwich board.
It says God abhors you, which is an acronym for gay.
He's standing in a crowd of young people who are like...
I don't know, trying to talk to him in vain, I guess?
Oh, they're earnestly ready to own him, that's what it looks like.
He's wearing another sandwich board that looks like a no parking sign, and it says no parking in rear any time.
Penal Code Leviticus 1822.
I love that.
And what's funny about that is, I think only straight dudes would say, like, I'm gonna park it in the rear.
So I don't know who you're worried about here.
Yeah, I'm imagining him carrying around a sign that says, uh, STOP HUMPING underneath.
With a little apostrophe.
It's great because it looks like a real no parking thing until you look at it and it says Leviticus and then it has his little website on the bottom.
It looks like he picked up a sandwich board outside of an event that actually had no parking.
You would actually have to read it to find out that he's not as insane.
There's a message here.
Yeah, he's methodical.
Okay, reading from this post.
Ruben Israel says, if elected president, not only will I be the first Hispanic president, but you will get this dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
And just brace yourselves, everybody.
Buckle up.
Get excited.
Prayer and reading of the Bible must in all schools and universities.
ACLU, liberal judges, and a number of politicians jailed for treason.
Yep.
All abortion clinics will be shut down and all doctors charged with first degree murder.
All nurses, aides, secretaries, and guards will be charged with second degree murder.
I know how that works.
I know how first and second degree murder works.
I know what those words mean.
It's like lesser murder.
Yeah.
Like Burns, right?
It seems fair.
You know, like the secretary, she wasn't actually murdering the babies.
She was just taking notes about murdering the babies.
How many murders did we do today?
You know, they write it down.
She facilitated the murder and she did the bookkeeping for the murders.
Okay, next one.
Everyone on death row is executed within a day.
Done and done.
Let's not make them wait.
That's cruel.
Just, yeah.
Get it over with.
Boom.
Bada bing, bada boom.
Efficient.
Efficient.
Also, you know, you can't plead your case if it's over because you're dead.
If you elect me, Alexander Edward, for president, everyone on death row will be executed within half a day.
That, whoa, whoa.
Like, before the p.m.
I like that.
Before the p.m., yeah.
Get done in the morning.
I mean, unless they're arrested in the a.m.
and then they'll be killed in the p.m.
Okay, that's true.
You gotta consider that.
But you're still a rising, grinding president when it comes to executions.
Under the Edward administration, when you are seeing executions happen in the p.m., it is only because they were arrested in the a.m.
I am not allowing a full 24 hours to pass before the execution.
I like that.
I like that.
You want that to be, you want it to be fresh.
Justice to be served fresh.
Churches that support same-sex marriage and pro-choice will lose their 501c3 status.
Because that's how that works also.
I mean, kind of.
Like, you're not allowed to preach politics, but I think it's like, or not politics, I think it's like electoral politics specifically.
You're not allowed to like campaign at a church.
But I think you can like, you can say things like, you know, gays are evil and stuff like that, which is still technically politics.
But it's the good kind.
Yeah.
I love that.
9% flat tax for everyone as God only gets 10% and we do not exceed God.
Is that the number?
I thought it was like 7%.
That's a big number.
Yeah, tithing.
That's a lot of money.
Tithing, I think is 10%, maybe it's 20.
I thought it was like 20.
At least for Reuben Israel.
That's a lot.
Yeah, what do you mean, at least for Ruben Israel?
That's like, I mean, he's doing at least 10.
Um, I think they're referring to like tithing.
Yeah, like, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I like that though.
The 9% flat tax for everyone.
God gets 10% and we do not exceed God.
So like saying you're, you're already giving, uh, God 10% of your check, you know, and that's, that's, that's gross income folks.
That's, that's not net.
Um, and now you don't want to, Tax a billionaire more than that because it's going to somebody who's not God.
You need to let the billionaire have all that money so that we, the public, don't become greater than God.
The billionaire gets to, uh, gets to be, uh, how much of my check is the billionaire taking from me?
That's true.
Well, less than God though.
That's all that really matters, right?
No, I think I might be making less than 90% of my value to the company.
Oh yeah, I think so.
Damn, that's bullshit.
I'm sorry about that.
You should tell him that.
You should say that you're taking more than God and that's not cool.
Let's see how much everybody pays in rent every year.
Like, how much of their paychecks are they paying in rent, right?
Is the landlord greater than God because he's taking, you know, half of people's checks?
The landlord is for sure greater than God.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, in a way God really is the best slumlord there is.
It's true.
Just sort of like, you know, bought a huge piece of land and hasn't been seen since.
He just charges people for it.
Yep.
And I'll tell you what though, like, uh, and also like doesn't do any upkeep.
You know, I'm never there, never there.
I'm trying to, I have pests, I have pests I need you to get rid of and they're still there in my life.
Yeah.
This analogy, I don't know about that.
Uh, uh, maybe, yeah.
Uh, I would say like, you know, this whole thing's falling apart, you know?
Oh, we need some, some, uh, some work done to the, the, the walls and the drains and stuff like that, you know?
Need new carpet.
Um, welfare checks and any government aid will have many restrictions.
Yeah, I like that.
Leaving it a bit open-ended.
Smart.
Uh, the border wall will continue to be built.
All illegals deported.
That's definitely biblical.
It's definitely from the Bible.
You deport all the illegals.
Happens a couple times.
Homeless people are removed from the streets and given a community to live in in the desert.
I love that.
That's the best part.
We have tons of lands not being used.
This is the desert.
Just gotta go ahead and just kind of ship.
I mean, that already exists, kind of.
Yeah, it's called Burning Man.
Yeah.
No, that's very rich people.
Yeah, I know.
But what is it?
Slab?
Slab Town or whatever?
Slab City.
Slab City?
Yeah, that's one of them.
One of the many?
Yeah, I don't think Ruben's supporters would see a homeless community in the desert and be happy with that.
No, they'd still be mad.
Pot shops and tattoo shops will be shut down.
I love that this dude's anti-tattoo because his whole vibe is not.
His whole vibe is tribal tattoo.
Yeah, his whole vibe is like a Harley Davidson tattoo.
Yeah, like I'm shocked he does not have like a tribal armband or like chest piece something.
But yeah, real stickler here.
No pot shops, no tattoo shops.
English only is taught in all schools and universities.
All schools and universities must wear a uniform.
Females will wear long skirts.
No special meals for inmates in jail and prison.
All anti-gun laws reviewed.
All mosques sold, and money will be given to families murdered by that religion.
What?
How's that fund gonna be set up?
That's fucked.
Like, who's gonna buy a mosque?
Like, I don't understand.
Yeah, yeah.
He's turning him into like shoe stores or something.
I don't know.
What the fuck?
Remove the UN from America.
Not the other way around.
Yeah.
No police in certain communities.
Let them devour each other.
Okay.
We can work with that one, I think.
Cool.
There's room in there?
Yeah, it's funny how wildly they can veer between how dare you want to abolish the police to you don't deserve to have police.
I was just reminded recently of that woman who came to my DMs last year mad at me because I'm mean to my white daughter for being mean to white people.
She got mad at me because when I'm critical of white people, I'm being critical of my daughter who's white.
She accused you of being mean to your daughter?
Yeah.
Because I'm mean to white people, I'm mean to my daughter who's also a white.
And she was saying, she's like, you know what?
And then she's like, you know what?
You live in the I.A.
anyways.
Good luck calling the police.
Have fun.
And this all started over how the police are so important.
And they ended with like, they're not even coming to your neighborhood anyways.
Yeah, we know.
I'm like, well, not to help.
That's for sure.
All prisoners will sever their full term with only one appeal.
That means serve, I think.
But you get one shot.
Yeah.
But that's within 24 hours of your initial sentence, so... So you're screwed.
We will not work with any country that restricts Christianity.
One vote per household and ID is requested.
Okay, interesting.
Yeah, that's the biblical voting.
That's what that means.
Like, you all get together, you talk it over, you talk over the choices, and then your husband decides who you're all voting for.
And you just write your vote above your doorway, and it's counted at night by the ghost.
Yeah, and when he says household, he literally means like only people who have a house.
Yeah, you have to have, and you have to own the house.
And you get as many votes as you, houses you own.
That's fair.
I mean, it's one per household.
That makes sense.
All your secret families get another vote.
Yeah.
All child sex offenders in prison will be released in general population with pink wristbands.
That's interesting.
That's very, very hard on criminals.
Very tough, tough law, man.
Until here, it's just you're going to be released, but you have to wear a pink wristband now.
No, no.
General population.
Oh, general population.
Okay.
Nevermind.
Oh, wearing and they have to be identified.
So they're going to get super murdered.
Yeah.
I, I, I like what you're saying.
Very hard on criminals until he wants them to do his dirty work for him.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
I read that completely wrong, but it has to, the wristband has to be pink.
So they know you're one of those, one of those guys who wear pink, AKA a child molester.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Awesome.
This guy rocks.
Um...
I, it's just, it's funny to be like a Christian.
I mean, I know, you know, this guy is like a hypocrite up and down, like from top to bottom, but it's funny to be a Christian and be like, yeah, child molestation is fucked up.
It's awful.
We should punish them harsher.
The way we're going to do that is we're going to set them among the most bloodthirsty motherfuckers there are and let them get ripped to shreds, torn limb from, and it's like, you don't even, it doesn't sound like you care about, Justice or the safety of children.
It just sounds like you like murder.
We're going to film it.
Yeah, it sounds like you like violence a lot.
We're going to live stream it to let people know what happens when you do that.
All bathrooms will be male or female.
It sounds like you can just choose.
It's wherever I'm at.
That's what it is.
Facebook and Twitter will be monitored and could have entire social network sites shut down for 30 days for each offense.
Interesting.
Yeah, this is great.
Um, it's again, it's like the whole, uh, oh, you want to, uh, regulate the police.
You want to decide what they do.
Uh, you don't get to have police.
It's that it's that's we love the police.
It's like a real, um, So what is Solomon?
King David?
I don't remember.
I'm not good at biblical history.
Cutting the baby in half?
Yeah!
We love the police so much, we are not going to cut their budget in half.
We're just going to let another city have them.
Yeah, you just have it.
And that's kind of what he's doing with Facebook as well, except in the opposite direction.
Because it's like, we hate Facebook because they fucking censor conservative voices, they spread misinformation about our beloved Donald Trump, etc.
So the punishment for censoring conservatives is we're going to shut down the whole website for 30 days.
Oh, it's the whole thing.
Again, I thought this was just like shutting down certain sites, basically like censoring, doing extra censoring.
But no, this is shutting down Facebook.
I love this.
This is actually, this makes sense.
This is going to make Facebook step up their game.
We're probably going to have entire years with no Facebook.
Yeah, listen, you won't let my group that's exclusively devoted to sending death threats to Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters.
Then nobody gets Facebook.
No one gets it.
It's all gone, yeah.
Sorry.
This is like your mom being at the end of her rope and throwing the entire dinner in the trash can.
Because you were such an asshole to her.
You're so shitty.
Um, every morning, every city hall is started with prayer, raising of the flag and pledge of allegiance.
Okay.
Yeah.
That one we can all get behind.
Again.
A lot of these things are things that are already happening.
True.
Like that, that happens.
Trying to pull up the next screenshot here.
There we go.
History, statues, and monuments that were removed will be replaced.
If our beloved military is used in another country, we will destroy that country and take that land, not use our military to build houses, roads, and police them.
Wow.
Wow.
We're just going to burn it down and walk away and we're only going to leave ashes behind us.
I mean, it's honestly, like, if they were more honest about their platform, like, how much infrastructure, how much rebuilding are we really doing to, like, Iraq, you know, or Afghanistan?
True, true.
Like, to these places that we just basically reaved and pillaged, right?
I would appreciate this being the argument.
You know, hey, if we're going to send our military over there, we're going to do what we want to do, which is completely destroy that country, take over the land, do imperialism.
Like, I can have that argument, but when it's, when you get into like, oh, they're actually doing coalition building and I'm just like, I don't believe you that they're doing that.
Like, I don't know.
That's happening.
Yeah.
All they're doing is like extending contracts.
That's all that's happening here.
Yeah.
All they're doing is like lining the pockets of private military contractors.
All same-sex marriages will be revoked.
Adopted children must go to a family that is male, female, and married.
We will use our own oil to produce gasoline and drop prices to under a dollar per gallon.
See, like, yeah, I want to... This is the most, like, pizza-for-lunch-you-know-home platform I've ever heard.
Yeah, but for psychos.
For Christian nationalist psychos.
Yeah.
Not thinking about any of the problems there, because if that was... There's not, not, you know, hetero-normative nuclear families who are married trying to get babies right now, like, but there's still a huge backlog of people, of kids who need homes.
Like, what are you talking about, my man?
Yeah, well, once we ban abortion, I'm sure that problem won't skyrocket.
Yeah, exactly.
This won't be an issue.
Well, okay.
Well, also outlaw adoption.
Well also like outlaw giving your child up for adoption.
Also outlaw even just making a child outside of wedlock without Christ and that's a punishable action.
Yeah, but you're not punished by like having your child taken away or anything.
You're just thrown in jail.
You're just thrown in prison.
Where the baby is raised there too.
Um, can you think of a better place for a child born outside of the love of Christ?
I can't.
No, I mean this is good.
They grow up strong like Bane.
We will use our own oil to produce gasoline and drop prices to under a dollar per... So yeah, I want like a centrally planned economy, but just for gas.
Just so I can continue to like roll coal.
So how are we gonna do that, sir?
Well, we're just gonna do it.
Just gonna, just, there it is.
Done.
Uh, that would be, that would like, flash fry the earth if oil prices dropped to under a dollar a gallon.
It would just be like, oops, yeah.
Um, most news stations will be charged with treason and news buildings and studios will be sold.
All monies made will be given to those they slandered with lies.
I like all the redistribution.
He's doing a lot of redistribution.
I think that's good.
I think that's a smart thing.
Like, it's not just accountability, but there's also, like, atonement.
Yeah.
Like, throughout this whole platform, there's a lot of that.
And, I mean, yeah.
He's just modeling a lot of this after, like, the state of Israel, who's like, oh, yeah, your news station was actually terrorists.
So, yeah, we've completely destroyed it.
Yeah.
No, that's why we did it.
See?
We said that's what it is, so it's happened.
Modesty laws can and will be enforced in public.
Shirts over a bathing suit at the beach is required.
Goddamn right.
Goddamn right.
This sucks man.
And also you're not allowed to, it can't be a white shirt and you can't go into the water because when you come out of the water and it's all wet and it's like clinging to the body.
I can just see through it.
Yeah.
Ugh, it's wet.
It's like dripping everywhere and it's like the way it hugs your skin.
Yeah, I mean, that's not a good thing.
It sucks because this guy, if you saw him on the street, looks like so much fun.
He looks like the kind of guy who is going to, when you're 15, he's the guy who's going to give you a beer on the low.
This guy probably never wears a shirt, his hat should always be backwards, but he's none of those things.
And it's really disappointing.
Uh, this one's great.
Pride Parade permits will start off at $75 million for one small street.
And just all the evangelicals are like, OOOOOOOOH FUUUCK.
Got their ass.
Yeah, they're never going to be able to afford that.
There's no way.
Again, it's like the pedophile being thrown in gen pot thing.
It's just like performative dunking, you know?
Like, oh, we're not going to outlaw pride parades.
No.
We're just going to make them cost $75 billion.
And that's only from one small street.
And I've seen those things.
They take up lots of streets.
They take up a lot of streets.
It's going to cost a lot of money.
All feminists will be rounded up and placed inside a sweatshop to make clothes for the less fortunate and cook soup in a kitchen for the less fortunate.
I love this.
I love this.
Like, why?
Because you're a feminist.
Now you have to see who's really the ones who are really going through it.
Also, this acknowledgement that there still will be, like, poor people who need soup and clothes made for them.
And again, it's like doing, and this is obviously not, like, a good thing, but, like, doing State-mandated public service like public works projects in a way like doing a public works project But not because it would like better society.
It's just to punish the people.
I don't like Yeah, who's the people whose ideas I don't like even Like we're gonna do a national campaign to put every unemployed person to make every single unemployed person build homes And then we're just gonna bulldoze the homes after they've done Yeah, yeah.
The thing is, it's a lot like one of those Buddhist sand sculptures, you know?
It's that.
Except for it's hard labor.
For free.
Yeah for like just spite it's just out just purely out of spite not yeah um and again it goes against like the idea of these far-right nut jobs which is the just oh a charity that should all be voluntary we should just we should only only the like private sector should provide charity to people except when I need to punish gay people or women
I can compel them to do labor on behalf of the less fortunate, who I really don't care about otherwise.
No, no.
I mean, I'm happy they're here or else, like, we really would just be throwing those clothes away.
And, like, when you got a lot of backed up soup, it starts to stink.
So I'm happy we have them, but hey.
Children will be taught from K to 12 that God and DNA does not lie.
They are either male or female, period.
All right.
Sounds like after grade 12 is going to be sick.
We are going to start a national campaign.
I am going to hire the best scientists and geneticists around and we are going to be destroying records of the births of intersex people.
We are going to be digitally altering sex chromosomes so that you can't see that extra Y. Or you can't see that extra X. I don't remember how it works.
Sorry.
That's insane.
I love this.
Because also, I don't know about the curriculum a lot of people are getting, but this is what's happening.
This is not... Except for the God part.
I mean, the God part still does kind of happen.
But this is just what's happening.
There are not a lot of... I don't think they are making space to have these conversations in public schools.
Actually, I know they're not.
And if they are, they're like...
Very small, independent, unique circumstances.
I think it's- Like this is just what's happening.
True.
Um, I think it's also pretty funny that they're kind of on a bad- the right wing is kind of on their back foot when it comes to this sort of thing because They're doing it to try and like own the left or own, you know, social scientists or whatever.
But they're saying, we believe in science.
We believe in DNA and biology and God also.
Like it's, they have to appeal to science.
They know that they have to appeal to science to try and get the public on their side by saying, we're the ones who care about biology.
And biology means, is penis equals male, right?
That's their argument, at least.
They can't just say, God doesn't want you to be trans.
Like, they can say that, but they know that that's not as winning a message, at least they think, as, like, trying to appeal to biology, which used to be purely the realm of Satan.
You know, science, biology, DNA.
Like, we have a Christian fascist here screaming about how he believes in DNA.
It's smart.
Everything here is buffered with a tinge of like... It's not as bad as it looks.
It's actually a good thing.
It's not just God.
It's DNA, also.
I don't know if I would say that's a good thing.
Because if I'm an evangelical reading this, I'm like, I don't believe in DNA.
What are you fucking talking about?
That's true, yeah.
What the fuck is DNA?
I think this guy might be the everyman.
This guy might be the everyone in between, you know?
Um...
There's, like, another... Yeah, right here.
Final screenshot I have.
No more career politicians.
All lawmakers will have an eight-year term limit.
Supreme Court judges will get 12 years.
I'm probably okay with that.
All judges from city to federal to our Supreme Court must walk into that court holding a black King James Bible.
And that should be the reason everyone needs to rise up in court.
So they're not rising for the people, they're rising for the Bibles.
Yeah, not rising for the judge, that bitch who took my kids away.
Marriage certificate will only be given after a year of courting and biblical counseling for six months.
Sounds great.
Again, something I think that does happen.
That's what happens in a lot of Christian engagements.
But yeah, that's not mandated by law.
That's a pretty steep Steep ass there for the whole world.
You're definitely not going to see an even further decrease in marriages and birth because of this.
No, I don't want to do that shit.
No, are you kidding me?
All signs in stores, shops, and billboards must be in English or face a minimum $30,000 a day fine.
I understand how he came up with that number.
It's a big number.
It makes sense.
It's a bad number to have levied against you as a fine.
Yeah, you're going to change that real fast.
Shop class for males in schools and home economics for females will be a must every year in all schools grades 1 to 12.
Wow.
Wow.
Taking it old school.
Home ec is that really short for home economics?
I... I think so.
Cause home economics, I think about like managing your budget and like paying taxes and stuff like that, which I'm, I think that's progressive to want women to know how to do.
I think that's actually part of it.
It's like to balance a checkbook.
Hmm.
I don't know if I want women having that knowledge.
But like in old school nuclear families, I have aunts and uncles who the uncle has no clue how much money they have even if she's stay at home and she pays all the bills and does all that because she learned it in home ec.
Well, that's sick.
That's an old school thing.
I don't think that's common.
Traditionally, your wife does not have access to the bank.
And when the husband dies, they have to do a year's worth of paperwork to even have access to their money.
That's what the secret accounts for.
Right.
Well, that's cool.
Any family receiving government aid, their children must have a C average or they will lose that privilege.
And those working on being a citizen will have the entire family be deported if that average is not reached.
I like how this did not start saying anything about citizenship or like your legality of being in the country.
But no matter what, you are going to get deported here.
Hey listen, you better start paying attention to school if you want to eat.
Well, it's conflating welfare with immigration because once again, like that's the meme in this country is that if you're an immigrant, you get a free house and you get like a free Prius and shit.
So he's conflating that.
He's saying he's talking, he starts off talking about welfare and then he moves over to immigrate.
He sort of like slides seamlessly into immigration.
And it's, I like, I don't think this guy got a C average in high school.
Yeah, no shots.
No shots.
I just don't think you did.
I think that you probably... I mean, if I'm gonna make some assumptions about this guy, because I've met this guy.
I've met this guy a million times.
This guy lived a fucking life before he woke up without his family one day at like 42 and found God and now he's this person.
And he will use that old life to like, to levy, to leverage everything he's saying.
But yeah, this is, this is wild.
Criminals who are repeat offenders, if your family is receiving any government aid, that can be stopped.
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
I will do more on the second day too.
So can I get your vote?
Okay, once again, that is something that is happening.
Your family, that does happen, but it's not as extended families.
But yeah, you will get stuff stopped if it seems like you're giving aid to criminals, is what they, if they can do stuff like that.
A garnish or shit.
But also, I love that.
That's just day one, baby.
We're just getting started.
Yeah, oh, oh.
Oh, you just wait till day two.
And then he posted he accompanied this post with a photo of himself standing at a speaker's dais like photoshopped in front of This has got to be some sort of like This is at a museum?
Oh, that's what it is.
A local museum?
If you look at the crowd... It's like the other side of that coffee shop, the one who had a replica of Trump's office.
The Oval Office?
Yeah, it's the other side of that where it looks like you're speaking at the National Mall and it's got sort of the protective glass behind you with what looks like an assemblage of Early 1990s era politicians and former presidents and current presidents.
Yeah, it looks like it might have been a specific day, but it's definitely outdated.
It's not the one at the White House, that's for sure.
That one has to be updated.
This is just some weird relic in some weird place.
Also, my man looks great though.
He looks like a Mexican Charles Manson with a shaved head and a beard goatee.
And a sick-ass, like, dark platinum-colored Steelers jersey with camo numbers.
Is it Steelers?
It's Steelers, yeah.
He's a Steelers.
He's all about the Steelers.
I thought it was, like, an Army.
I thought it was, like, an Army jersey from the Army team or something.
No, it's a stealer's jersey for the army.
Tight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
His looks are on his forehead.
He looks great.
He looks awesome.
I just like that he's honest.
I just like that he's an honest evangelical.
He's who I am.
Who's like, no, yeah, my politics are just purely about punishing people.
Like, they're purely vindictive and malicious and sadist.
There's nothing good in here.
There's like nothing positive at all.
It's just about fucking punishing and further immiserating, torturing, enslaving the people he doesn't like.
This guy does not even know about Handmaid's Tale.
He's never seen it.
He's gonna see it and be like, oh shit, alright, there ought to be something here.
Yeah, well I'm sick of this utopian fiction.
I can't watch it.
I know we're never going to reach those heights.
I don't want to get hopeful.
Yeah, so this got a lot of traction.
A lot of people sent this to us.
I kind of love Reuben a little bit.
Yeah, Reuben's kind of... This picture of Reuben is the best.
This might be my banner for a while.
How did you know this was a Steeler's jersey?
There's something on his pocket.
On the chest.
It says number 40.
I just pulled up the bigger picture.
It says trust Jesus, Jesus saves.
It's got an American flag on it.
Oh, hold on.
Wait.
No, I just thought it because I've seen like this deal.
I thought it was that yellow print on the black was a Steelers thing.
No, it's not.
It's like a custom made Jesus Jersey.
It's got patches on it.
I think he put the patches on it, but it looks real good.
It looks real official.
I was, I was, I was, I was fooled.
I okay.
Because you know, like I'm from Southern California and I'm a little like, you know, subconscious unconsciously racist.
I was just the first glance.
I was like, Oh, this is a Raiders Jersey.
And then like, I looked what's gray.
It's grey, you know, and he looks cool.
So I'm like, okay, it's probably a Raiders jersey.
He's got the Lokes on his forehead.
And no, it's like digital camo in the number.
I don't know.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know.
It's fake or some kind.
There's some other posts from him that I got that were Pretty good here.
On June 3rd, he posted, If you believe God is a he, you may soon be considered a quote, sexist.
Called me old fashioned, but God is a he.
The Holy Ghost is referred to as a he.
And Jesus is the son of God who had 12 males following him.
Sounds all male to me.
This is peak dude's rock post right here.
I like the idea that people are arguing that Jesus was actually like a woman.
Yeah, I've seen that rendition, that artistic rendering of Jesus.
I think, yeah, I want the Tumblr crowd to start theorizing that Jesus was actually closeted trans the way they do about Kurt Cobain.
And how it's insensitive to misgender Jesus as a he when, I mean, the signs were all there, you know?
I mean, I've never seen a picture of Jesus wearing a traditional trouser.
He was queering gender before it was cool.
I will not change HIStory.
We live in a man's world.
Walk over manhole covers, put mailboxes on the street, and if you break the law, you are called a malefactor.
These are all things.
That all means God must be... He.
I love him conflating, him doing this like, yeah, dude's rock post, you know, God is literally male, all that is good in the world is male.
Him conflating that with the word malefactor, because he's confusing male for the prefix mal, which means like incorrectly.
Yeah.
Or... Like lacking?
Yeah, like disfate, like malformed.
You know?
Malefactor.
Like, hey, it's in everything.
Malicious.
Malcontent.
Something's going on here!
So I drink milk?
Yeah, I like manhole covers.
Manhole covers is great.
Because it's two words.
He did manhole covers.
Are you wearing your manhole cover, Tony?
I am not, but that's why the camera only gets from the chest up.
You walked over your manhole cover on the way to record the podcast instead of putting it on.
I did.
I like how that word is independent of the function it serves.
You know, like that word, manhole cover is its own word, independent of men being in holes, independent of the hole that allows, it's just its own thing.
I think manhole cover makes more, because it's like a manhole for a man to go down there, you know, that makes more sense than mailboxes.
Mailboxes is just a complete mess.
It's just like way off.
You know, it's those boxes for men to go into back when it was a man's job.
You had to climb into the box and get all the mail.
Yeah.
Wait, hold on.
You mean to tell me a woman got this mail?
I don't believe you.
A homosexual can be titled maledict, and maybe you've sent an email to a friend.
Again!
Again!
How many different types of mailing and shipping is he going to cover here?
Yeah, again, a homosexual can be titled maledict.
And maybe you've sent an email to a friend.
No blackmail here, just man-to-man facts.
But that time male was spelled correct.
No black male here.
He didn't he didn't try to do the pun on that one.
Really missed opportunity by the way.
Is God a male chauvinist pig?
What say you Facebook?
Parentheses women included.
That was so weird because it starts off trying to make the case of like of like God being a man and then ending about how
males are so persecuted that oh we're all chauvinist pigs and so ending with that is totally veers off his original point well he's got a he posted like an image of a seal like a fake it looks kind of like tattoo artwork or something like okay of a seal that says chauvinist pig and it's got like a cool biker pig with sunglasses and like a fu manchu mustache
That pig just like smacked your friend's ass right now?
Is what's happening?
Jesus.
Yeah, God's just a dude.
That's God.
That is God.
That's a picture of God, is what he's saying.
That image is... That's my God.
Is a hog riding a hog.
Uh, so there were... Back to the original post, though.
Oh, there was one... I found some video... Ani helped me find some videos of him.
I was like, I need to hear what this dude sounds like, because he looks cool as shit, and he's saying some stuff that makes sense, you know?
I want to hear, like, what he sounds like on the street.
He must be charismatic.
Let me, um, play you one of the videos that we found.
Ani's at work today so she's just been blowing up my phone so I have like 30 to 50 messages of her like fucking around trying to avoid doing actual work just like taking photos of stupid books and shit.
We love, we love to see that.
That's what you want to hear.
As long as it's all happening on the clock, I'm happy.
Yeah, okay, so here's one video.
This video is titled, uh, The Official Street Preachers Church Van.
I don't know what church you go to, but let me tell you the church that I go to, the church that I go to is outdoors.
And this, this is our church van.
He's standing in front of a police van.
Wow.
If you're a street preacher and you've never been inside of a church van like this, something's wrong with your preaching.
Time for you to get a new church.
This is what our church van looks like when we come here to New Orleans.
And it's time for you to understand, maybe if you're not being arrested, maybe there's a reason for that.
Start preaching, pointing out sin, and you too can have a church van just like us.
What?
Start, like, ratting on people?
Is that what he's saying?
He's saying if you're not abusing people to the point where the police actually arrest you, then you're not a good preacher.
Oh, okay, that's true.
That's true.
If you're not harassing women in the streets, like, I don't know, calling them trollops and shit like that, demanding that they wear a shirt over their bikini, you're not a real preacher.
I think the most righteous thing to do is to agitate Rome.
That's what Jesus did.
Yeah, and it's funny, just don't do it to the point where you actually have to go to prison, though.
Because once you're in prison, all bets are off.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Then you don't know what kind of wristband you're going to end up with.
Like, it's just, you know, it's obviously a totally incoherent worldview, but it's just like, oh no, it's good to defy the police when I'm, like, harassing and condemning, like, fellow people.
It's bad to condemn the police when they're harassing and, you know, uh, accosting my fellow people.
I also like this, I don't think there's a real church, right?
I don't think that there's an actual church that he has.
I think he's saying, like, the streets are my church?
Like the outdoors, my church, like everywhere.
Hey, listen, the church is wherever I'm at.
Yeah, I mean, that's a good message.
But he's talking about like he has a real-ass church that has their own real-ass vans.
Yeah, it's like, hey, I don't believe in like, you know, gatekeeping to heaven.
You know, you don't have to go to this church or this church.
Heaven is Wherever you can find it, whether it's, uh, or, you know, communication with the Lord, churches, wherever you can find it, whether it's, uh, out front of a pregnant teen's home or, uh, whether it's in the face of, uh, a gay person or.
That's church.
Yeah.
Uh, this is another video, uh, called Reuben Israel contending for the faith against black Israelites.
Yes.
You are a devil! You are a devil! You are a devil! You are a devil! You are a devil! You are a devil! You are a devil! You are a devil! You are a devil!
This ain't no black thing you devils!
I don't care what- Go shot!
Oh, break this!
Yeah!
It's just him getting yelled at by a bunch of young black dudes.
You are the devil.
But what's crazy though is like they're on the same team with like pretty much everything he's talking about.
And so that means he's being a real dickhead.
He's being a real asshole in this moment.
I mean, culturally, to a certain degree, but he can't, like, abide by the fact that young black people are pretending to be the real Jews.
Like, he can't abide by that, you know what I mean?
Despite still being, like, a patriarchal, you know, authoritarian movement.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
He had to, like, be instigating this.
Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know if you could ever instigate anything with the Black Israelites.
I think if you're just around Black Israelites, the instigation already happens.
Let me just get into some responses here.
To his campaign for president.
Hey, got my vote, you know.
Megan Breckenridge Koch commented with a Ross Geller from Friends gif.
Where he's doing duck lips and like nodding vigorously and it says, yep.
Yep, just cold-hearted Ross agreement, yes.
Yeah.
Do you remember Ross?
Do you remember Ross from Friends?
I think I remember, I don't know which one that is, but the duck-lipped one with the, was it the, was he the funny one or the stupid one or the hot one?
The hot one was the stupid one, right?
He was the cool one.
The cool... shit.
Wasn't the cool one also the stupid one?
I don't remember.
He was the cool one whose wife left him for another woman, and he owned a little monkey called Marcel, and he played the keyboard purely of, like, animal noises.
Those are all pretty cool things.
Yeah.
and picture him going, yep.
And that's the reaction to Ruben Israel's candidacy for president.
Yeah, I think so.
I agree.
Hard.
Chris Clark says, a vote for Uncle Ruben is a vote for freedom!
Yeah, from what?
These are all really repressive rules.
What are you talking about?
What is the freedom here?
He just listed like 45 new laws that are going to happen.
I mean, I think even by Ruben's standards, you're supposed to look at this and think like, I could do better.
I need to do better.
This is going to hold me accountable.
But this guy is like, I can finally be free.
Yeah.
It's just, I mean, it's, it's the, uh, what do you call it?
Like lowest effort version of what the right wing is actually doing, which is, you know, pretending they want freedom by which they just mean like freedom for the people who already have power to run rough shot over the rest of us.
But it's just, like, it's so transparent because both of these posts are, like, so funny and ham-fisted.
You know, the original post is just, like, so absurdly, like, a distilled, far-right, you know, Christian nationalist sort of thing, and he's, like, Chris Clark is, like, still trying to do the whole, yeah, we love freedom over here, right?
America, yeah, I'm voting for Rubin for, uh, freedom.
No, man, we've actually evolved past that.
We've realized that freedom does not work, actually.
Freedom is kind of mucking things up.
We gotta put a hammer down.
Yeah, I mean, the people who are being honest will absolutely say those things.
Like the new crop of younger fascists who are still bothering, like the crop of young people who are still bothering to adhere to, like, Republican or right-wing ideology are openly embracing like ethno-nationalism and fascism because it's the only thing that makes it like We've all seen, you know, the emperor has no clothes when Bush talks about Wanting freedom when Reagan talked about wanting freedom when all these when Trump talked about wanting freedom.
It's like very obvious what they're actually going for and if you're a young person like you don't want to people to think that you're stupid I guess you don't want people to like I don't know you've seen like these these uh administrations and it's just corny it's just old people like Uh, giving, you know, virtue signaling platitudes or whatever.
And it's like, no, I'm going to say like what we all really want.
I'm going to, because that's the only way to like actually invigorate people into believing in the Republican or the right wing again, is to actually lay it all out there and say what we really mean.
Yeah.
I mean, the proof is like we, we, we had freedom for four years.
You know, and that did not work.
It only made things worse.
It's time to get real.
That's what they're thinking.
Yeah.
And, but, but like the things that younger people liked about Trump wasn't the like freedom of, of lower taxes, lowering taxes on millionaires or like, The freedom to, what, like, deregulate, you know, fossil fuels and stuff like that?
Like, that's not what they liked.
They liked Trump because he restricted the freedoms of other people that they didn't like.
Yeah.
You know, he had protesters beat up.
He tried to be pretty punitive to, you know, undocumented immigrants, things like that.
Like, they liked the not-free parts of his platform.
And yeah, it's just funny to pretend like, yeah, freedom!
You know, the freedom to be executed by the government after one day.
Yeah, make it quick.
I do like to think that there is definitely some advisor out there, some campaign advisor out there who is telling someone like, hey, look, let's keep the freedom talk to a minimum.
Let's dial that back.
Yeah, I mean, you're still going to get a lot of older voters, like, who are actually the ones that are coming out and voting, but you're not going to, like, be starting a new movement or anything like that.
Susan Angler said, doesn't Congress have to get most of that passed into law through the House and Senate?
And Reuben replies, executive orders.
Done and done, baby.
Yeah, I thought of this as executive orders.
All those loopholes you're thinking, I don't that, you know, keep me from there.
I executive order those away.
Yeah.
That's also been executive order done.
That's going to be, uh, in the, in the morning of day one is I get rid of those.
Yeah.
First executive order, infinite executive orders.
Just going to executive order an infinite number of executive orders.
Yeah.
Um, got to think, think, think hard, you know?
Yeah.
Uh, Oh yeah, Chris Clark who said, uh, a vote for Uncle Ruben is a vote for freedom.
I went to his profile and uh, his bio on Facebook says, Christian and a savage.
Strange combination.
So were my parents.
And if you look at him, you can kind of tell like maybe the strange combination was that they were like related somehow.
Oh.
Um.
Anyway, yeah, uh... I thought you were saying he was, like, he was, like, of mixed race or something.
And he was just, you know, leaning into it.
Oh, yeah, I don't know what he actually means by, uh, so were his parents.
But yeah, Christian and a savage.
You know, because I'm Christian, but I'm still cool, baby.
Still straight savage.
Still a savage, bro.
Beast mode.
Go beast mode for Christ.
Uh, Susan again asks, are you thinking to run against President Trump?
And Ruben says, no, Susan, he would be my vice.
Yep.
This is obviously, if he'll have me, he can be my vice.
Yeah.
No, no, of course.
Of course.
I'm not running against him.
He will be my vice president.
I like how he couldn't say like, no, Susan, he's, he's out of it.
What are you talking about?
He can't, he's not going to run again.
He can't say that.
Well, I think he has the, like, divine calling.
Like, he knows that he's going to, at the very least, be on the Republican ticket.
Yeah.
And if Trump wants to come along, then sure, we'll have him.
Sure.
I mean, he can run against me if he wants to lose it, but if he wants to be part of this, come on down.
I'll have him.
D. Ray Ritchie says, sounds well thought out for sure.
Uh, Jim Warren says, Reuben!
Reuben!
Reuben!
Praise God and thank you Jesus for President Reuben Israel!
Levi Miller says, I don't vote, but if I did, I would vote for you.
And then Reuben Israel says, thank you!
To that person?
Damn.
I like how Ruben- I wish Ruben would've been like, hey, it's actually your civic duty to vote, and actually when I'm, you know, if you have a household.
I'm assuming you're not voting because you don't have a household?
Is that what I'm to believe here?
Yeah, maybe.
Is it because you're not a homeowner?
One day you can- one day you can own a home and you can vote for me.
Uh, listen, I don't- I don't like you, Ruben, but if I did, I would vote for you.
Oh, thanks, man.
I appreciate that.
Whoa, whoa.
That's- thank you for thinking about it.
Thank you for considering me.
Yeah, so you've got Levi's non-vote.
You've got Jim Warren's vote.
Let me read this one.
Jerry Quintana says, oh yeah, somebody said like, I think a lot of this stuff might be unconstitutional.
Just a couple.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, Phil says, so many of these aren't well thought out and are borderline unconstitutional.
Borderline, though.
Borderline.
Well, actually, first executive order changed the Constitution.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
I don't know if you knew that.
Jerry Quintana replied, which of these are unconstitutional?
I don't see anything here that violates the Constitution at all.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's freedom.
And honestly, it's happened since the Constitution existed at some point, so...
Uh, and then somebody was like, uh, all these things are unconstitutional, dude.
And then he, Jerry replies, let's review your responses.
First of all, the original constitution drafted by the Connecticut colonies was written as a biblical document.
It failed to be ratified by the constitutional Congress in 1762 and was rewritten and most, if not all the references to the Bible were removed.
I personally believe in the original constitution, not the one we refer to today.
Second... Wow.
Wow.
I've never even heard that.
Why have I not heard that?
When you say it's unconstitutional, are you talking about the current constitution?
Or are you talking about another constitution?
I'm talking about a different constitution.
I'm a little more old school than that.
you know the different one second refusing to do business with any country that restricts christians yeah maybe refusing to do business and cutting any funding to those countries who blatantly kill christians because of their beliefs yep cut them off as far as china is concerned yeah those product may be inexpensive but they fail miserably in the reliability game Finally, all classes in America should be taught in English.
If students desire to learn another language, then those classes will be available.
But I support any legislation that requires all students to read, write, and speak English.
If they can't, then they will be put in classes where they will learn it.
If they refuse, they will be deported along with their families.
You can't go to any other country and demand that they conform to your inability to read, write, and speak your language.
They will run you out of their country.
Why should it be any different here?
And this is like, this is funny to me because he's, it keeps going, yes, this country welcomes immigrants, but we do have requirements that should be enforced, but they aren't.
As far as all of the other issues addressed with this original post, I support 1000%, and I am sure a large portion of this country will also.
And that comment has 303 laugh reacts.
And then he replies to himself, Rebecca Harvick, I fail to see the humor in this post.
Can you enlighten me?
Picked the one person?
The fuck is so funny, huh?
And that comment has 198 laugh reacts.
I hope that maybe whoever the person, like Rebecca Harvick or whatever, hopefully maybe they just have a sick-ass follow.
She was like, yo, look at this fool.
This fool's mad at me.
Um, I like, so yeah, uh, everyone in this country will be forced to speak English.
And if they can't speak English, we're going to send them to class to teach them English.
Yeah.
Oh no.
Oh shit.
Oh no.
Don't, please don't.
Yeah, don't do that.
That sounds terrible.
Like, A, and if they refuse, then they're going to be deported.
That's already part of the immigration process, I think, is you have to learn English.
You have to pass a test.
You have to pass a test.
Second of all, having an English class be offered to immigrants is probably, like, More than, I mean, I know a lot of schools, public schools, have an ESL program, but if we're talking about undocumented immigrants or whatever, they're not technically allowed to attend a class like that.
They're at risk of deportation if they're out and about.
Yeah, they can't go to like an adult school class.
Like you see in all the movies and all the movies and the TV shows, there's a class where like full of people from all around the world who want to be good Americans and want to come to America the right way.
But like, that's just not a thing you can do.
There is no like incubation period to become the, to immigrate correctly or whatever.
And it's also like, what, when have you ever been forced to speak Spanish?
Like, what are you, like, what are you talking about?
Right?
Like, I don't, I don't, I can't think of an example where I've ever had to speak Spanish against my will or...
Well, no, it came real close, but then we found out we can find that movie on iTunes.
And that has the closed captioning, so we were able to get the closed captioning and not actually follow it in Spanish, which would have been so hard.
Yeah, well, yeah.
So, I don't know, I look forward to seeing more from Ruben Israel.
I think he's got a really cool brain on him.
I think I like that he is just unabashedly, like, confidently Speaking his truth.
He's out there.
He's talking about what he really wants.
He's got all the confidence in the world.
Trump's going to be my vice president, baby.
I'm going to do this through executive order.
A company that has a sign in Spanish, they'll be charged $30,000 a day, every day.
A day?
It's good.
It's like a fully formed worldview that you love to see on Facebook.
If there is a God and the God is good, that God will bless me and we will cover Reuben Israel again before we cover Tom McDonald again.
I hope so too.
Thanks so much for listening.
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