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June 7, 2021 - Minion Death Cult

01:36:42

Time to start bombing facebook and the likes out of existence!

This week: Trump gets his facebook ban shortened from "forever" to "two years" and the right wing is not too happy! also, Mark Cuban bans the national anthem at Mavericks basketball games, so Texas bans him... from disrespecting the country? support the show for $3.11/month and get a bonus episode every week at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult

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Time	Text
	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
	We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when the people go to the desert.
	Follow their environment for the state.
	Stay tuned.
	Nope, that's not the song.
	This joke sucks.
	Nevermind.
	Okay.
	Wow, I feel great.
	I feel great about this episode.
	You ready?
	I'm ready.
	Alright, I'm Alexander Edward.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Cult.
	The world is ending.
	Save America Americans who uses Facebook are responsible.
	We're documenting it.
	What's up everybody?
	I just want to congratulate myself for that flawless intro that must have made sense to the listener.
	I can only imagine how hard it landed with them.
	Only this listener will understand that.
	If this is your first, you're dipping your toes and you might be a little lost right now, but if you're full-fledged, you just know something's, you took notes.
	This is a podcast about dumb, angry people on Facebook, and so anything I say that doesn't make sense is just a parody of who we cover.
	Yes.
	Anytime it sounds like I don't know what I'm saying about politics or, you know, the international community or policy or whatever, I'm doing a bit.
	Yeah, little side note, little disclaimer.
	I'm not, though.
	I'm... I don't... I'm... You're just... Everything I'm saying, I absolutely mean verbatim.
	And you just are generally ignorant.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Exactly.
	I just... Reading's not my forte.
	That's it.
	You do know the word forte, though.
	I've heard the word forte, and I think I'm doing it right.
	It's also the name I go by when I'm an R&B singer.
	My persona.
	They call me Forte.
	I like forte as your moniker for singing, but just like a totally nonsensical accent over the E instead of like the little normal one.
	Just like do an umlaut over the E or something.
	And it's also underlined?
	Do the schwa.
	Do the like upside down E. No, it's spelled F-O-R-T-I-G-H.
	It's spelled F-O-R-T-I-G-H.
	For Ty?
	For Ty.
	But everyone's just saying it wrong.
	Okay.
	It's for TA.
	We have just a very important episode for everybody.
	Normally we don't do like real politics on the show, but we have to kind of put our game faces on here this week because we're talking about one of the most consequential, I don't know, events in not just political, but civic, cultural, History that I can remember.
	I have a post here from Fox News.
	Breaking news!
	Facebook's oversight board on Friday upheld its suspension of former President Donald Trump's Facebook and Instagram accounts for two years before it will reassess, citing his quote, praise for people who engaged in violence during the January 6th Capitol attack.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	This is a big deal.
	It's not that we want to cover this.
	It's that we have to cover this.
	It's that this is important.
	It's that this is going to leave a mark on our children's children.
	This is the future of America.
	This is liberty at stake.
	We can't ignore this.
	We have to preserve the tradition of Donald Trump continuing to be banned by Facebook.
	We have to speak out about it.
	We have to make sure it doesn't Go by the wayside, you know, because the victors do usually write history.
	The victors, I guess, in this instance being Facebook.
	We are going to be the critical race theorists of the future who have to remind everybody that on June whatever, 2021, Donald Trump was e-lynched again by Facebook.
	This is the commitment we made when we put our hashtag resist bumper stickers on our cars.
	Is that we would document these things for posterity and just for rights and freedoms.
	That is like a real bumper sticker, huh?
	Yeah, for sure.
	Like, I could see, I was going to criticize the idea of a hashtag being on a bumper sticker at all.
	But I mean, that could be like a link.
	That's essentially like a link.
	If you're on social media, you put the hashtag.
	But not for something as general as resist.
	That seems like an improper usage of the hashtag.
	It seems like you're just going to get a lot of results if you do hashtag resist.
	But you like the numbers because you apply it to your thing, which is, you know, getting rid of the Orange Man.
	And we still have, you know, he's off Facebook, he's off the White House lawn, but we need to keep getting him off of stuff, I think.
	Yeah.
	I think that this is, oh, he praised people who engaged in violence.
	What about the US military?
	I hear a lot of praise for those people on social media.
	Moving on.
	I like, I'm going to read here from, oh, so the reason I'm saying this is like such a Big news.
	This is a pivotal event in American history.
	This had 103,000 reacts on Facebook, which is, those are pretty big numbers for Facebook.
	Like, those are big numbers for Facebook outside of like a video of a man doing a magic trick for a woman with a low-cut top.
	Or a dog that has, like, a machete in its mouth and is, like, running at, you know, the Arab... Russian, maybe?
	People who own it?
	Other than that, these are big numbers for Facebook, for sure.
	47,000 comments?
	Like, this was posted two days ago and I went back to look at the comments again and it was just like a live stream.
	It was just like, people were like advertising bootlegs of the Mortal Kombat movie in the comments section for this post.
	Buck Wilde there for a minute, huh?
	I love that.
	Free market, you know?
	So, yeah, where were you?
	Where were you during the moon landing?
	Where were you during the JFK assassination?
	Where were you when Facebook decided to continue its ban on Donald Trump?
	Facebook, I'm reading here from NPR, Facebook has extended former President Donald Trump's suspension for two years and says it will only reinstate him, quote, if the risk to public safety has receded.
	The decision comes after Facebook's oversight board told the company it had been wrong to impose an indefinite ban on Trump after the January 6th insurrection at the U.S.
	Capitol.
	Facebook says it is setting new rules for public figures in times of civil unrest and violence to be applied in exceptional cases such as this.
	So, I think it's funny that, like, this is actually good news for the right wing.
	Sorry, I kind of glossed over that there, but... Yeah, yeah.
	This decision comes after Facebook's oversight board told the company it was wrong to impose an indefinite ban on Trump.
	Yes, exactly.
	So this is like, actually his sentence got reduced from forever to just two years.
	Yeah, he's getting parole.
	He's like, you know, he's getting off early.
	He's eligible for parole in two years.
	Yeah, he's eligible for parole, exactly.
	It's not lifetime anymore.
	But yeah, this is a common thing.
	These new rules now that, you know, during these times of insurrection.
	I love how this is how all these things work, right?
	They didn't prevent the thing from happening, they responded to the thing happening, and now they're like, we fucking nailed it.
	I think it's funny, like, yeah, Facebook does have a lot of power.
	Facebook controls, you know, the marketplace of discourse or the public space to a certain degree for billions of people.
	But in the same instance, like, the idea that banning Trump is going to prevent right-wing violence or something, I think that's a little, you're getting a little full of yourself, Facebook.
	I don't, I don't think many people believe that.
	Yeah, you're also kind of just... You're really just riling him up.
	You know, you're really kind of just proving them right.
	The people who are actually mad about this, they knew you were going to do this the whole time, and you're kind of proving them right.
	So you heard it here first, folks.
	Tony Boswell is offering a strategy of appeasement to the far right.
	Just give them what they want, and they'll be happy.
	That's exactly what I was going to say.
	That's what Tony says.
	And by that, I do mean like, you know, voting licenses and stuff like that.
	Just, you know, just give them the other 22 states they don't already have, you know?
	Yeah.
	Facebook says it is setting new rules for public figures in times of civil unrest and violence to be applied in exceptional cases such as... I love, like, because he was a president, he gets to just be the biggest idiot on Facebook he wants to be.
	Like, that's a huge perk for me.
	To be honest, like yeah, the salary, the $500,000 a year salary is pretty cool.
	Uh, getting, getting to like, you know, nuke somebody to show off, you know, to your fans or whatever.
	That's, that's pretty cool too.
	Uh, but yeah, getting to say like whatever you want on Facebook and knowing that like an oversight board is going to say, Whoa, hold on.
	I don't know if you should ban him per se.
	Let's give him another chance.
	Yeah.
	That's tempting to me.
	I might actually do this damn thing and run for president after that.
	Well, you know Facebook really advocates for reform and rehabilitation.
	That's their big platform.
	It would be hypocritical for them to do otherwise.
	Yeah, well then they need some sort of secondary Facebook that trains you how to be a polite Facebook user.
	Otherwise, there's no rehabilitation.
	You're just getting off Facebook and learning how to be a bigger Facebook offender.
	You get banned from Facebook, you go over to Gab, and that's like thought criminal school right there.
	That's how you learn to be an even bigger thought criminal.
	Exactly, that's real boot camp.
	But no, you need to go through like a half hour click-through video watching test-taking thing, much like a food handler's card.
	But it's just like, it's for Facebook decorum.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's got all the bad slurs in there that you can't say.
	Like, uh, men.
	Or, uh, cracker.
	Or, uh, white.
	Whitey.
	Um, that's what's funny is like, yeah, there's people like I've, I've gotten, uh, muted on Facebook for reposting a meme that had, you know, 10,000 likes or whatever.
	Like I've gotten harsher treatment, uh, for lesser.
	I was trying to be the good guy.
	I was trying to spread awareness of the bad meme.
	Uh, and they didn't care.
	They didn't care about it.
	No, they didn't care.
	Uh, Because the company took his Facebook and Instagram accounts down on January 7th, the two-year suspension will last until January 7th, 2023.
	At that point, Facebook will consult... It's funny because the response was like, oh wow, how convenient.
	They're gonna ban him until the midterms are over.
	It's like, bitch, they were gonna ban him forever.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You're welcome.
	He has a chance now.
	Do you think that, I think in two years, they're inevitably going to come out with some new platform?
	Do you think he'll also be banned from that platform, or will he get a new chance and a clean slate on a new platform?
	Okay, who is they?
	When you say they're going to come out with a new platform, I heard some parentheses around that word.
	Who is they, Tony?
	The cabal known as Facebook.
	Uh, you think they're gonna, like, re- like, do a second- like, they're gonna do a Fanta or something?
	Yeah, yeah, they're gonna do, like, a Face-to-gram.
	You know, and it's like, and- and- and there's gonna be a new thing, but you think you'll be able to do that?
	Um, I think, uh, he will, and then he'll get just banned immediately for, you know, call- calling somebody a dog or something.
	I want that because that's going to gas up January 7, 2022 is going to be a big day.
	We're going to have to take the day off work and tune into Facebook.
	A huge response to this is like, I don't know if I have any of these responses specifically teed up here, but a huge response I was seeing when I was going through this was, well, yeah, just you wait.
	By then, Trump is going to have his own social network and it'll be popping.
	We'll all be fucking partying.
	Billions of us.
	Oh, Facebook has fucking 3 billion users.
	Cool.
	You know that people who voted for Trump number in like 4 billion?
	5 billion?
	They're all going to join this social network and it's going to be the funnest, the hippest social network period.
	And I feel like these are people who weren't even aware of Trump's blog that had to be shut down due to lack of interest.
	Yeah, Trump's an OG to the game.
	Trump blogged.
	Yeah, I guess they got shut down.
	It's just a blog.
	I have blogs that still exist.
	That was Trump's alternative to Twitter and Facebook was he did his own website that was called, like, From the Desk of Trump.
	I think we talked about, like, once or twice on the show.
	It was, like, very little soundbites, you know, little tweet length.
	Messages that he posted to a website that, yeah, nobody went to.
	And so he canceled it.
	Cancel culture strikes again.
	I think he's going to have to resurface in some way where he has to prove he's really being edited.
	You know, being censored to where you're going to have to go through some IP server thing that you're actually on a Russian site.
	Or like a different country's site.
	And it's just going to be a message board.
	It's just going to be a Facebook clone.
	So you know how like...
	They talk about how, oh, we don't have real capitalism, like the right-wing talks about.
	We don't have real capitalism right now, we have, uh, crony capitalism.
	We have too many regulations.
	The elites are controlling who gets to prosper.
	Because in a real, like, Ayn Randian libertarian capitalism, like, only the best ideas would rise to the top.
	And they would be the ones making a bunch of money.
	And Facebook, the only reason Facebook is so successful is because it's, like, You know it's sold it's sold to Satan or it it knows people or like there's you know Anti-semitic conspiracy theories around this stuff.
	I've heard something about time travel I think that has something to do with right all those reasons, but like Donald Trump who is like an immensely popular figure on the right wing couldn't just like get people to go to his website and Well, because these people don't necessarily go to the internet.
	People on Facebook don't necessarily go to the internet.
	There's no regulation preventing Donald Trump from having a website.
	Yeah, no.
	He just sucks.
	He didn't have the same amount of tweets or engagement with other users.
	A lot of what made Donald Trump's tweets special were his...
	responses to other people were were his like quote tweets or were his replies and it helps to have a sounding board it helps to have somebody to bounce ideas off of you know whether whether that's the uh editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair whether that's uh Dr. Fauci like and he just yeah sorry sorry buddy you couldn't you couldn't compete in the marketplace of ideas all by yourself
	Also, a Facebook post can be as short as a tweet.
	That's his forte.
	But a blog post can't be.
	Can't be that short.
	You can't do a 10 word blog post.
	If anybody could have done it, it would have been Trump and he just didn't do it.
	It just didn't work, yeah.
	But they should have done it in screen grabs instead.
	Like just type it out somewhere, screen grab that, make it a JPEG, and that's what they're looking at.
	That would have changed everything.
	Okay, back to this NPR article.
	When Trump is allowed to return, he will be subject to, quote, a strict set of rapidly escalating sanctions up to a permanent ban that will kick in if he continues to break Facebook's rules.
	So they'll let him back, but they'll put him on quintuple super secret probation if he keeps saying the election was stolen from him by, you know, Whatever, the woke Coca-Cola company or something.
	The next piece in this NPR article is titled, Trump and the left agree this is a bad move.
	So I was like, where are they going with this?
	Yeah, what's happening there?
	It's a weird way to frame this and you'll see why it's weird as I go forward.
	Facebook's decision, so this is Trump's response to this decision.
	Facebook's decision, quote, is an insult to the record-setting 75 million people, plus many others, who voted for us.
	Trump said in an emailed statement, misstating the number of votes he received in the 2020 presidential election.
	Parentheses, it was just over 74 million votes.
	He continued his baseless attacks on the legitimacy of the election.
	So, sorry.
	I'm sorry like NPR.
	The lead here is not that he misstated the number of votes he got.
	The lead here is that he said he got 75 million people plus many others to vote for him.
	Yeah.
	Why not make an- if he's gonna make up a fake number just make up an even bigger fake number instead of saying plus many others.
	But plus many others is a real sus statement.
	No, it's... I would disagree, Tony, because you could say, okay, why doesn't he just say 76 million people?
	Oh, they weren't counted?
	They weren't counted?
	No, that's not what I... I mean, maybe that's what he's saying.
	But what I'm saying is, your argument is like, why don't you just say a higher number than 75 million?
	Well, if he said 76 million people, yeah, sure, that's a higher number, but what about 76 million people plus many others?
	Plus even more.
	Plus many others.
	That's a higher number than 76 million.
	So it's just a, it's like a, you know, never ending thing.
	Like, plus many others is definitely the way to go.
	Like, hey, it could, when I say plus many others, I'm talking about another 75 million people.
	It's actually an infinite number.
	Yeah.
	But it's the, it's the biggest of the infinities.
	It's an infinite number, an infinite number of infinities.
	Oh yeah, no exactly.
	It's a constant loop.
	There's other dimensions, but there's even more than that.
	I love plus many.
	Does he mean non-people?
	Yeah.
	Like 75 million people plus thousands of gargoyles.
	They had to do it at night, which is hard to do.
	70 million people plus countless golems voted for us.
	And that's kind of also why we need to have voter licenses.
	We can't have Golems voting.
	Maybe he means minorities.
	75 million people plus many minorities voted for us.
	Yeah, that makes sense.
	They should quote they shouldn't be allowed to get away with this censoring and silencing and ultimately we will win our country can't take this abuse anymore he said um and there's another response that he gave i'm reading from the guardian here that's uh so good donald trump has appeared to drop his strongest hint yet at another presidential run in 2024
	Responding to news of his two-year ban from Facebook on Friday by saying he would not invite Mark Zuckerberg to dinner, quote, next time I'm in the White House.
	It has also been widely reported this week that Trump believes he will be reinstated in the presidency by August.
	He will not.
	Sorry, Tony.
	He will not.
	Oh, wait.
	What?
	Why not?
	He said he's going to, though.
	Thanks for clarifying.
	But in his statement on Friday, he did not say if he thought he would return to the White House because he would be reinstated or because he would run for the Republican nomination again and then defeat Joe Biden or another Democrat.
	I love having to report that.
	I love this is like hard news.
	The former president did not say whether he would be returning to office because he would be reinstated due to illegal voting or whether or not... I love that they are abasing themselves to this level.
	Trump's statement read, next time I'm in the White House there will be no more dinners, at his request, with Mark Zuckerberg and his wife.
	It will be all business!
	We used to have so many dinners, and I know he loves his dinners, but guess what?
	Guess what, Zuck?
	No more dinners for you, not for you or your wife.
	No more dinners.
	The Alphas are back in town, alright?
	All booked up.
	Sorry, bud.
	We're busy.
	This is, like, the most hard-bodied response I can think of.
	Like, listen.
	You're not gonna be invited to a White House dinner, alright?
	We're gonna have a meeting.
	I mean, yeah, there will be, like, snacks and, like, finger foods and shit.
	And, like, you know, the White House staff will, like, bring you your, I don't know, uh...
	Your water that's been derived via osmosis through a rock or something.
	Whatever you lizard people drink.
	There's not going to be any dinner parties, buddy.
	Listen, you know what?
	I'll invite you to a dinner party and then I won't even show up.
	And you'll have to eat dinner all by yourself.
	I'll be at a different dinner party and I'll be wearing like the coolest pants ever that you won't even get to see and they'll look like those pants that have the weird like spongy sort of like slinky looking thing but actually it's because I have them on backwards and you won't get to see it.
	It'll be a secret.
	But I'm still going to have them bring a full plate, a full serving dinner out to where I would be sitting.
	And you can't have it, even if you're not full.
	You can't touch it.
	I'm going to come back and eat it later.
	They're going to box it up in front of you.
	And you can't have that.
	And you're going to get a smaller portion.
	And you're going to be hungry and you're going to want to have my food, but you can't have it.
	What a sick own.
	Listen, I'm going to be in the White House and you're not going to get dinner there.
	I like how maybe what he really means is he's just going to sneak into the White House.
	He's just going to go hide in a closet and that's really why he can't have dinner because he's just going to be in there.
	It would make sense that he wouldn't be able to invite Mark Zuckerberg to dinner.
	But once he gets in there he can claim asylum.
	Yeah, he squatters rights in the White House.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that's like a liberal fantasy.
	That's the liberal fantasy, is to be able to kick Donald Trump out of the White House for not paying rent.
	He's victim.
	Sorry, buddy.
	This belongs to the landlord known as The People.
	That was like a thing that when he lost, they were like, oh, hey, listen, Donnie, here's your eviction notice.
	Right.
	Because those are cool.
	Right.
	Instead of a minion on the eviction notice, it's like Harry Potter saying, Expelliarmus!
	You know?
	You know what would really own them?
	Make them homeless.
	I mean, did you see that meme of, like, Trump, like, Like fake, you know, Trump's face superimposed on like an actual homeless person.
	And it was like, it was like November 2020.
	And then it was like him with like a speech bubble saying like, I'll suck dick for a golden toilet or something like that, you know?
	It's the exact, it's the exact opposite of him, you know, superimposed onto a buffer him.
	Yeah, what's for the liberal?
	What's the opposite of buff and it's homeless?
	It's it's homeless.
	It's homeless and and also it's a little homophobic, but it's mostly homeless Yeah, we'll we'll suck Putin's cock For what is he fake news for fake?
	Oh for some fake news and caviar.
	Yeah this is the part that I Where Trump and the left agree this is a bad move, right?
	NPR teased this up by saying Trump and the left agree this is a bad move.
	Facebook's decision was also derided by left-leaning civil rights and tech watchdog groups who hoped it would permanently ban Trump.
	This decision only goes to undermine the enormous unchecked power of Facebook and its repeated failure to police its platform, a coalition calling itself the Real Facebook Oversight Board said in a statement.
	Quote, Donald Trump and his allies used Facebook to incite an insurrection, an attempted coup of the United States government.
	The punishment?
	Back on Facebook just in time for Trump 2024 with no explanation at all why a two-year ban or what the criteria is for determining his status when the ban expires.
	It was also paired with an image of two hands clasped together, one labeled Antifo, one labeled Donald Trump, and across the hands clasped together, it said, being upset about the two-year ban.
	Yeah, that is how NPR phrased this, which is kind of weird.
	So weird.
	It's a very snarky way to set up this section of the article.
	I feel like maybe it's designed to, yeah, make libs mad at, quote, the left for banning Trump because, you know, the worst libs do believe in horseshoe theory.
	Yes, exactly.
	So maybe it's a stab at that.
	But then also, like, labeling these groups as leftists, the groups who are like, no, Facebook should ban Trump forever.
	That doesn't seem like the leftist position to me either.
	No, not at all.
	Like the only left position here would be to like, I don't know, nationalize Facebook or something.
	Yeah, I say I don't even know if I want to have like a real position on what's happening on Facebook.
	No, you can't because you have to like...
	You have to accept Facebook being this, like, global behemoth private company.
	You have to concede to Facebook in order to have a viewpoint on this.
	If your argument is like, why didn't Facebook ban this guy that I don't like, it just shows how powerful Facebook is that they didn't issue a blanket ban on the guy I don't like.
	Like, and I know that's a reductive way to describe Donald Trump, but it's like, I don't think the answer is to give Facebook even more power to ban people they don't like permanently.
	That doesn't seem like the leftist position, to cede even more power to a private company because you don't like how much power they have.
	Yeah, that's not quite there.
	But it's that same thing where it's like these people just have no clue the words they're using, what they mean are.
	NPR doesn't, I think.
	He's a shame.
	NPR is calling these people leftists or something.
	I don't have a dog in this fight.
	Sorry.
	Facebook and Donald Trump can duke it out.
	States are still banning abortion.
	States are still making it much harder to vote, much harder to I don't think you can have a leftist position about Facebook's rules.
	Like, I don't give a fuck about who Facebook allows on its platform.
	I'm sorry.
	I don't think you can have a leftist position about Facebook's rules.
	I don't think that's possible.
	Yeah, it's like trans people are getting denied access to medicine.
	Like, I don't care about this guy on Facebook.
	Getting denied access to a fucking restroom?
	Like... Yeah, yeah.
	It's like, fuck, fuck outta here.
	We don't have... This is... This should not be important.
	It's not, like, we can't...
	It's not important.
	It's not that it's... it is, like, I guess important to a certain degree, but I have no fucking say in this, because if I did have a say in this, Facebook wouldn't, like... Okay, no, I'm joking.
	I would keep Facebook exactly the same, because how else would I be able to run Minion Death Call?
	So I take it all back.
	The leftist position on Facebook is... keep on keeping on.
	Stay messy.
	Stay the course.
	Stay messy, queen.
	Stay messy, Queen.
	That's it.
	That's the official leftist response to Facebook is, uh, alrighty.
	Hey, good job.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Nailing it.
	Let's get into the right-wing responses.
	How about that, Tony?
	Yeah, let's do it.
	On Fox News Business, which is where this article was posted, Caskoregion?
	Caskoregion?
	Yeah.
	I guess?
	Yeah, not... I was hoping Caskoregion, but yeah, Caskoregion?
	Caskoregion says... Sure.
	Facebook, Instagram, Coca-Cola, River Viking Cruises are all non-necessities in life and shouldn't act if they are!
	Non-necessities should be trying to gain customers, not drive them away.
	You can do without those companies very nicely.
	After all, there is a lot more time in the past when they didn't exist than the time they have existed.
	What's the through here?
	They're just corporations, right?
	Or are these companies that he has personal beef with?
	Does Coca-Cola put out a Donald Trump statement?
	Is Donald Trump not allowed to take a River Viking cruise?
	You're acting like you haven't been co-hosting Minion Death Pole for the last six months.
	They're mad at Coca-Cola, remember?
	Yes, yeah.
	Everyone they're mad at in general.
	They're mad at Facebook.
	Facebook owns Instagram, so they're mad at Instagram.
	They're mad at Coca-Cola because Coca-Cola's doing white genocide.
	Yes.
	River Viking Cruises was a new one.
	There you go.
	I was not quite sure.
	I, okay.
	I realized in the shower that River Viking Cruises is probably like the cruise line that say, hey, you can't use our cruise line if you have COVID.
	Yeah.
	I think it's probably like the, well, the headquarters are in Los Angeles.
	I thought this was maybe one of the Florida, cruise lines that ron de santis like you know said hey uh pick a different state if you if you don't want covet on your cruise lines or whatever everyone's free to take cruises in florida i'm looking at river viking cruises and uh news uh yeah it looks like they totally shut down cruises Yeah, okay.
	Viking to resume European river cruises for vaccinated passengers only.
	Oh, okay.
	There it is.
	There it is.
	I mean, it seems like forever ago, but remember when the pandemic like first started and there were cruise ships that were stuck in the ocean?
	Yeah.
	Quarantined for like, that was so bad.
	It was so, so bad.
	And it seems like that was a lifetime ago.
	I mean, cruise lines are like a hotbed for every kind of disease.
	Ever.
	Yeah.
	So it's just funny.
	It's like, no, like, yes, of course, like the people who want to go on cruise lines would not care about coronavirus either.
	Yeah, totally.
	Because you got to be cool with Oh man, I haven't been to one.
	Oh, buffet!
	Gotta have a cool buffet.
	You can't do buffets during pandemics.
	Yeah, you have to be cool with, like, the norovirus.
	Fucking swine flu.
	Like, you have to be cool with every kind of contractible disease to go on a cruise.
	You gotta be one of those people that's like, no, I got an iron stomach.
	I can't eat anything.
	I don't ever get upset stomachs ever.
	Um... This was... The overall point, though...
	They shouldn't act like they're necessities when they aren't!
	The right-wing response to Facebook continuing to ban Trump, they couldn't decide whether it was, oh big deal, who cares about Facebook anyway?
	Or this is like cause for civil war.
	They couldn't decide whether or not it was the end of the world or As if, who gives a crap?
	Non-necessities should be trying to gain customers, not drive them away.
	And it's like, I mean, Facebook is probably on the decline with like the younger generations or whatever, but they still do have like billions of people on their platform.
	I think I think when you look at a fairly successful company like Coca-Cola or like Facebook and see that they're doing something that seems like woke or whatever to you, like that's probably what the market is dictating.
	Yeah, totally.
	These aren't good people doing good things.
	These are people responding to the market and projecting it.
	Also, what do you think is happening here?
	Are you going to get off Facebook now?
	Because even if you are, I don't know if you're going to delete your account.
	Are you going to do that?
	You're probably still going to click on links of emails that get sent to you all the time.
	It's pretty futile, my friend.
	John Nelson said, Facebook gets far more publicity than it deserves.
	It was a cute idea at first, but it's devolved into a risk game with Zuckerberg and that other twink, Dorsey, sitting at the board.
	I think both are irrelevant to the highest degree.
	They will run their course and fade into oblivion.
	Believe me, these petty quote emperors are as naked as can be and they strut about thinking everyone takes them so seriously.
	I take my cat more seriously and I don't even have one!
	Whoa.
	Well, that's the and many more right there.
	Also, you guys are irrelevant, but if you just asked me who Dorsey was, I just wouldn't know who Dorsey is.
	Yeah.
	They mean a lot to you, John Nelson.
	They're kind of a big deal in your head, bud.
	Do you know who Dorsey is?
	No.
	Jack Dorsey.
	The creator, I think, of Twitter.
	Like the CEO guy of Twitter.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I just don't think about that stuff, but yeah, totally.
	At Jack.
	Ever heard of him?
	I have.
	I have.
	Heard tell.
	Sounds like you don't know Jack.
	I mean, he's pretty irrelevant.
	He's not a big deal.
	I love this euphemism.
	Hey, these guys are nothing but a bunch of naked twinks strutting their stuff around thinking they're so hot.
	And look at me.
	I'm half-masked at most.
	Also, also, the naked emperor, the emperor's, you know, invisible clothes, um, he's still the emperor in that story.
	You know, he's still, like, he's still the almighty and that's why it happens the way it happens.
	Yeah.
	So, this is not hit.
	I don't know, yeah, the good, like, and it's funny you bring that up.
	I hadn't thought about that, that part of it, but yeah, like, The best things about Twitter, not really Facebook, Facebook's different, but the best thing about Twitter is that you can just yell at celebrities.
	You can yell at celebrities, you can yell at politicians, you can tweet a picture of them, tweet a picture of like Jar Jar Binks' dick at You know, Joe Manchin, or whatever.
	You can just do that stuff and sometimes they'll see it, you know?
	That's nice!
	That's pretty cool.
	In this Emperor's New Clothes analogy or whatever, it's like everybody's afraid to tell the Emperor that, oh hey, bro, your dork's hanging out, you know?
	People are too scared.
	Twitter and like Facebook like they offer that opportunity to people to say hey hey Jack you know what I don't think you're all that.
	Yeah on Twitter people say hey nice dick or hey you could have a better dick.
	Yeah.
	Uh, so that, I don't know, that's like my argument for Twitter, is that if you look at Twitter, it's people yelling at celebrities.
	I mean, yeah, it's also people like yelling at- And it's purists.
	It's people yelling at celebrities, sometimes not in their replies and not even adding them, but it's always someone yelling at celebrities and I think that's good.
	It's like, I mean, and arguably like the worst part of Twitter is like, Yeah, you can also just yell at sex workers.
	You can, like, yell at women and all of that.
	So that's not such a good thing.
	But you can, yeah, you can just tell, like, Nancy Pelosi to, like, eat a piece of shit, you know?
	You can say that to her.
	You might catch, like, a little ban or something, but, like... If you, like, yell that to her in public in real life, that might not go over so well, but you can totally at her.
	Well, you would also have to step foot in commie-fornia, fascist-fornia, to do that, so... I wouldn't recommend it.
	Hey.
	Hey, I mean, I'll have her come to me.
	You know?
	No, I don't know.
	What do you mean?
	Um, she's gotta come to me to do it, for me to do it.
	She better not come to where I'm at, cause I'm gonna tell her right away to eat, eat shit.
	To her face if she ever comes to my town.
	Right, would she?
	Cause I'm in commie-fornia.
	Uh-huh.
	She might come into my little town where I will tell her to eat shit and get off my property.
	Hell yeah, dude.
	My landlord will say it's not your property but still get off my property because I also hate you because my landlord is actually like a chad.
	This is like this capper on this comment is such like a 90s joke.
	It's so stupid.
	Like it's like I don't know, I'm picturing like a 90s feminist comedian who's like, like, wow, your dick is smaller than mine and I don't even have one.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You know, I take my cat more seriously than I do you and guess what?
	And then you like lean in and you put your hand over your mouth and you're like, I don't even have a cat.
	Which sucks because I mean when you see that you see that one you're like damn I bet they have a cool cat and then you're immediately told they don't have a cat because I would have been like oh you're still you're still calling these people more incompetent than like a you know a cat that I mean they're smart and everything but they We own them.
	As somebody who has two cats, I hear this comment where he's calling Mark Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey filthy little twinks who strut around naked like they own the place.
	I expected this guy to actually have a cat.
	Oh, for sure.
	You should have responded with a picture of your cats and be like, I got two, you want one?
	Because that's something they would do, I feel like.
	CFL1 says, who or what made jackass Zuckerberg, and he is at the root of this, the moral authority to decide who can and cannot use Facebook.
	Americans should be outraged and infuriated that this rich, spoiled brat can control who can speak and who cannot.
	Why do you all not quit Facebook and break this bastard child?
	That did not end?
	Is that a misspeak?
	I think it's pretty epic.
	So the whole, like, why do you all, and then two line breaks.
	Yeah.
	Not quit Facebook and break this bastard child.
	That sounds like it's from Game of Thrones.
	I like that.
	Okay, that does sound pretty epic.
	It sounds very epic.
	Like, what does he mean?
	He could mean break this bastard child on the rocks of the Northland outside the wall.
	Just kick him off, you know?
	Or break this bastard child on the wheel of logic.
	Yeah, or break them and like, you know, break their spirit.
	Make them docile.
	Totally.
	More like Jack Docile Yeah like Jack Dorsey That guy you didn't know.
	Oh yeah, yeah.
	I thought it was a game of throw-ins.
	I was trying to search for that.
	I don't know as much of that.
	Yeah, who made Zuckerberg in charge of Facebook, huh?
	Who let this guy in?
	Who let this guy in charge?
	What's going on?
	Who decided he got to control the company that he founded?
	Who let you in here?
	It's the scene in the movie where the big rock star is in the room with people claiming to know him and they don't even know that they're talking to him.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	I think it's great that we have a private company Fueled by, or run by, like, a wealthy Reddit sub-nerd who gets a government contract for, like, manned space flight and colonization to Mars.
	But we're mad about the guy who started this social media company.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	That's who we're all mad about.
	That's who we're mad about.
	Because the former president can't post anymore.
	Well, I don't know if you know this, but when you're in a Tesla, and there's a whole program you can use in their big screen they have, it's just Tesla to Tesla, and you can say whatever the fuck you want to whoever the fuck you want, and no one can stop you.
	But it's only Tesla to Tesla, but it is completely free speech on that platform.
	So I'd just be sending people pictures of my dick all the time, and they can't stop me.
	It's Tesla to Tesla.
	Yeah, I mean that's sexual harassment.
	You probably shouldn't do that.
	It's freedom of speech in a Tesla.
	It's funny because like it seems like most of the country like even these far-right cranks are like primed for some sort of Like, anti-elitist movement, you know what I mean?
	Mm-hmm.
	Like, not just the elites they don't like, you know, not just the cultural elites, but an actual, like, power, you know, elitism or whatever.
	Because, yeah, like, these people just care about this celebrity who controls, like, what memes they get to share or whatever, right?
	Yeah.
	On a private server, but it's like, Tesla, like, is literally getting government contracts to build private infrastructure at the expense of, you know, the public's... Like, none of these people that we've been talking about can afford a Tesla.
	Like, none of these commenters are going to be able to use Elon Musk's Tesla tube or whatever.
	No.
	I mean it's it is the cultural shit that gets in the way of the actual material argument about who has power in this country whether it's uh you know quote communist Mark Zuckerberg or a weirdo like alt-centrist like Elon Musk these are the people who are actually in control and it seems like
	I don't know, even the people who follow Trump, you know, would follow him off cliff, would also not like a single weird celebrity controlling what sort of infrastructure their city has.
	Yeah, but that's the whole thing.
	Like I said, that was kind of my whole thing is that the Tesla guy, the Moon guy, is not getting in the way of posting word art about their neighbor playing music too loud.
	And that's what it comes down to.
	That's all that matters.
	Yeah I feel like it's it's mainly because like we've accepted such a narrow scope of freedom like my freedom it doesn't involve me like having financial security or I don't know the freedom to like Travel the world or the freedom to like explore a creative pursuit like all of that is is outside the realm of possibility.
	Yeah, because of people like, you know, Elon Musk or Bill Gates who gets to decide what the fucking public school curriculum what the public school like what a national schooling policy looks like.
	That's just a foregone conclusion.
	Like, we're gonna get mad at Bill Gates because he's doing a thing about vaccines in this particular moment, and we're not even going to attempt to, like, address the decades-long faulty program he had at undermining public education, not just in this state, but in many others.
	Totally, like, fucking up people's futures.
	Absolutely.
	Yeah it's because like these people they couldn't possibly envision like a scenario where you could just get on a get on a public train you know and and ride for two hours and be in a different state or whatever like that's not even in the realm that's like science fiction to them whereas letting a millionaire ship a bunch of slaves to mars is actually like a reality we should be fighting for yeah that makes sense that's uh that's the next bastion you know
	Well, it's like, I mean, you're not going to have a say in it either way, so you can just like live vicariously through that epic guy, I guess.
	Rodney responded to this, uh, to breaking the bastard child of Mark Zuckerberg.
	Then you have to allow sex offenders to use Facebook.
	And I did not know where this was going, like I did not know if he was trying to own the guy who was mad at Mark Zuckerberg for canceling Trump or whatever, but I think the meaning overall becomes clear when you read the full comment.
	Then you have to allow sex offenders to use Facebook.
	Currently, if a person reports a person as being a sex offender, the accused is banned from Facebook for life.
	No evidence required.
	And yet the true sex offenders, LGBTQIA, and sex changers are allowed to openly prey upon children on Facebook.
	I'm sorry, it's actually LGBTQIA SEs.
	SEs?
	Sex changers.
	What the fuck, man?
	Like... Was this person banned from Facebook is what happened?
	Yeah, for being a sex offender.
	Yeah, for sure.
	For sure.
	That's for sure what it was.
	But it's not fair because the person who reported him, they probably didn't know that.
	No, no, no.
	I'm not any of those things.
	It didn't count.
	Is this person a registered sex offender or do they just think being banned for sexual harassment is the same thing as being labeled a sex offender?
	I think that's it.
	I think that's probably it.
	I think they probably, when this happened, they probably like told their friends like, guys, you wouldn't believe it.
	I got canceled today.
	Like, they don't know the difference between being banned from Facebook and being, like, banned from within 500 yards of an elementary school.
	No, no, no.
	Well, I mean, because the thing is, you don't know this, but Facebook is in the elementary schools.
	There's a lot of kids on Facebook, yeah.
	You shouldn't be allowed within 500 posts of a child on Facebook.
	And, I mean, it's like it says, 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon on Facebook.
	You're never gonna get away from it, so.
	No way, yeah.
	Dark Corners you have to go to.
	Yeah.
	No evidence required.
	Listen, they were lying when they said I tweeted at them that they were a whore cunt, that I wanted to see their parts or whatever.
	They were lying!
	Facebook had no evidence.
	Because I deleted that comment.
	Facebook had no evidence.
	I unsent that.
	I pressed unsend.
	When I realized it had clearly been read and I didn't get a response for a couple days, I clicked unsend.
	Yeah.
	Listen, there's no evidence that I sent that photo of my penis, like Tony recommended.
	Only to other Teslas.
	Only to other Teslas.
	Yeah, I love that he just thinks like the way the Facebook follow-up, the way the Facebook customers, it's like you just type out, Rodney Hamm sexually assaulted me.
	You send that to the Facebook moderators and they're like, oh my word.
	And they ban Rodney for life.
	You're like, this is the wrong Rodney Hamm.
	I'm actually not in Columbus.
	I am just outside.
	I know Rodney, and Rodney should definitely be banned.
	But that's not me.
	I'm a different Rodney Hamm.
	Man, how great would it be if you knew Rodney Hamm in real life, and your nickname for him was Rodim?
	And he fucking hates it.
	He just hates it so much.
	That's what I would call him, I think.
	He really gets under his skin.
	I would be like a liberal naming my new dog and I would call him Rodim.
	Do you know who has a dog named Rodim?
	No.
	No, who has a dog named Rodim?
	That, that like democratic activist from Redlands.
	They like, they blocked me.
	They blocked me eventually.
	The one with the name of the old skate shoe company.
	That one.
	Yeah.
	That does not surprise me at all.
	Their dog's name is Rodim, which I think is misogynistic, personally.
	But yeah, the true sex offenders are the ones who are gay.
	Those are not the people who sexually harass women online.
	That's what it means.
	It offends sex.
	It's not about violating someone's space.
	It's about offending the content of sex by doing it different.
	We need to move off this topic.
	I just have a few more comments here.
	Kelly says, We don't use Facebook.
	Everyone should cancel.
	Line break.
	We should step.
	Line break.
	Line break.
	Facebook should go away.
	Line break.
	Since when do we need it?
	Line break.
	Prez Trump tries so hard to help America.
	I love the format.
	The format is amazing.
	It stands alone.
	Adore Creatures says, any quote Save America American who uses Facebook is a traitor.
	This includes person or business.
	There are now other platforms to use.
	Are you going to provide links?
	If you can provide links, that'd be great.
	We know them.
	MeWe, Gab, uh, what's, uh, .win, maga.win, or trump.win.
	We all know them.
	Hey, listen, if you want to, if you want to be a patriot and, uh, actually, I don't know, live your truth, you have to advertise your roofing company on, uh, trump.win.
	Okay.
	You have to use Firefox when you're using Trump.win.
	It's the only browser it's going to work on.
	That's what it is, but don't let that get in the way.
	I think what this person is neglecting to see is that some of the biggest opposition to Facebook comes from Facebook, comes from Facebook users, Facebook groups.
	Many of the groups that I'm in on Facebook are groups like, WE ARE SICK OF FACEBOOK CENSORING CONSERVATIVES!
	With thousands of members, right?
	So, you really do have to explore a range of tactics and also, I mean, you're judging people for being on Facebook or whatever.
	You have to remember there is no ethical consumption under communism.
	That is true.
	While we're, while we're in this communist system of, uh, one of these dictators, these communist dictators like Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey or whatever, like you can't, I mean, you're just forced to buy these products.
	You're forced to use these products in general just to survive.
	How else are you going to, uh, how else are you going to attempt to reach out to estranged family members?
	You know, it's, Can't judge people when we're under this, uh, tyrannical, uh, socialist system.
	And then, yeah, Landon Cromhout, uh, finally says, Time to start bombing Facebook and the likes out of existence.
	And I couldn't... I tried to, like...
	Like I'm always looking for those good comments.
	I'm always looking for like the good ones and like bombing Facebook as a response to them shortening the ban on Trump would be that would be a good response but I wanted like make sure we're representing these these ideas to the listener correctly so I'm like I read this comment and I'm like scanning it for a way he he's like
	He means like rhetorically or colloquially?
	Yeah.
	And I can't figure out how he means this other than literally bombing Facebook.
	No, that's what it is.
	He knows there's a headquarters and that's what he means.
	He means like a building because the only way that would be figurative would be to go there and use it heavily, right?
	To like make it to everyone go use it at once kind of thing.
	That's the only way it would make sense.
	So there's no way he has to mean like, nope, it's we got to take him out.
	I think he, I think he means like a bomb.
	Like he wants to bomb Facebook.
	Yeah.
	He wants to do like a big, big crime to Facebook.
	Cause it's not like, Oh, it's time to put Facebook down for good or whatever.
	Or it's, it's time to like drop Facebook, like a, like a deer in the woods or something.
	Like it's like, I'm going to bomb Facebook.
	Like that's not like a, It's hard to explain that one away as poetry.
	But what I will say to Landon though is, you know what?
	hard to it's hard to explain that one away as poetry um you know but what i will say to landon though is you know what i'm not gonna tell you how to live your life yeah uh landon uh i posted this one on twitter and some people found like landon cromhaut is like a real person uh from florida i believe Which, there you go.
	That's like the second Minion's Law.
	75% of the people we talk about are from Florida.
	We don't want it to be true.
	We're not trying to target Florida.
	It's just what's happening.
	It's just the rules.
	Yeah, um... They, yeah, they appear to be a real person using their real name.
	Say they should bomb Facebook.
	Which, you know, I'm not gonna report them to the FBI, nor do I think this person's really going to bomb Facebook.
	But it's just, yeah, funny.
	Maybe, you know, don't post that.
	Maybe they have a big graffiti background.
	Maybe that's what it is.
	They have a big graffiti... They're gonna go vandalize Facebook.
	Maybe they're gonna, Facebook's gonna be taking a selfie and they're gonna jump behind him and do, do the, uh, you know, what is that, the bunny ears behind Facebook's head.
	Oh yeah, yeah, I like that, that's a good one.
	Uh, and then JustJJ responds to bombing Facebook with, uh, the letters EMP.
	And what's funny is this is a link.
	This is linked to an EMP to where you can purchase them now.
	I love that because... Is it a real thing or is it just in movies?
	Do you know?
	I don't know.
	I think, yeah, probably.
	It's probably a real thing.
	Yeah, but it's probably just in movies.
	Right?
	I mean, it's definitely in, like, the Matrix sequels.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And, like, Godzilla?
	Godzilla has like a built-in EMP, I think, in some of those movies.
	I think that makes sense, yeah.
	But yeah, so I love this.
	It's just like the tactical response.
	No, listen, we can't just regular bomb and we have to EMP because, you know, I don't know, we have to blow up the cloud too.
	Well that's, I mean, you're sparing civilian lives, you're sparing, you know, whatever.
	Do an EMP on him.
	Hey, let's do an EMP, right?
	Everybody?
	Everybody.
	And all the commentators on Fox Business are like, hell yeah, brother!
	Let's do the EMP and stuff.
	This shit's so corny.
	Okay, moving on, right?
	You know what EMP stands for, right?
	Other people's partners.
	Exactly.
	Alright, moving on, finally, to the second topic of the night.
	Something far more serious.
	Texas's Star-Spangled Banner Protection Act passes in bipartisan vote.
	Uh, and then, uh, accompanying this headline is a thumbnail of Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban doing, like, the... the DreamWorks face?
	Kind of?
	But it, like... Yeah.
	Imagine, like, a DreamWorks face where instead of saying, hmmm, you're saying, mmmmm.
	I hate that that translated until it made sense.
	No, he looks like... he does look like an emo... he looks like the Emoji Movie.
	It looks like a disappointed DreamWorks face.
	Like, you're a DreamWorks face trying to give some sass to your face, but you're disappointed.
	You're like, meh!
	You know?
	So it's a good thumbnail, is basically what I'm trying to say.
	If you don't like... Snarky Wreck-It Ralph.
	If you don't like... Yeah, imagine, like, Princess Vanellope just told... just made, like, a fat joke at Wreck-It Ralph.
	And this is the face that Wreck-It Ralph would be making.
	The Texas House on Tuesday passed a bill that would require any professional sports team with contracts with the Texas state government to play the national anthem prior to the start of a game.
	Senate Bill 4, known as the quote, Star Spangled Banner Act, was passed on a voice vote with no changes Monday, according to the Texas Tribune.
	After Tuesday's final approval, it now goes to Governor Greg Abbott to be signed into law.
	The bill's house sponsor, Republican State Representative Dustin Burroughs, said the bill allows teams to choose not to play the National Anthem, but teams that do so will have to forgo any funding from the state.
	It's very simple.
	If they do not want to play the National Anthem, they don't take the tax dollars, Burroughs said, according to the Tribune.
	If we're going to go ahead and subsidize with hard-earned American dollars the sporting facilities and the teams and the different ways that I think is articulated in this bill, then this would apply.
	Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick named the bill one of his legislative priorities after Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban stopped playing the anthem before home games.
	Quote, we respect... So this is Mark Cuban.
	We respect, and always have respected, the passion people have for the anthem in our country.
	I have always stood for the anthem, with the hand over my heart, no matter where I hear it played.
	But we also hear the voices of those who do not feel the anthem represents them, Cuban said in February, according to NPR.
	We feel they also need to be respected and heard, because they have not been heard.
	The hope is that those who feel passionate about the anthem being played will be just as passionate in listening to those who do not feel it represents them.
	And I want to stop here.
	So this is like the inciting incident for this legislation is that Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, the NBA team in Texas, stopped playing the anthem and Going off the reporting that I've read, didn't, like, make an announcement about stop playing the anthem?
	He just stopped playing it and then somebody finally asked, somebody noticed, like, after several games, you know, that the anthem wasn't being played and this was his response.
	And I love this response, I love this like... It's fantastic.
	Incredibly cucked, liberal response.
	Which is just, I love the anthem!
	Listen, don't get me wrong, I fucking love the anthem.
	I've never disrespected the anthem.
	Wherever I hear it play, I stand at attention, and I put my hand over my heart, and I cry at least a single tear.
	It's usually more than a single tear, but it's at least a single tear.
	However, we have to acknowledge the bad people who don't like the anthem the way that I like it because I love it.
	Yeah, I love it.
	We have to respect the right to be a degenerate.
	We have to respect the right to be a bad person and not like the anthem.
	Yeah, and I just love the whole thing.
	I respect it so much that I don't want to disrespect it and I can't disrespect something that's not happening.
	You know, that's, I love that move.
	And it's actually a way a lot of people should approach a lot of their problems.
	It's just like, well, if you can't, if it's not around, you can't violate it.
	Like, if, I don't know, if you say, I have always stood for the anthem with my hand over my heart, like, I'm gonna disregard every single thing you say about the anthem after that.
	Yeah.
	Like, you're on the opposite side of me, I'm sorry.
	It's true, but at the same time, this was a pretty bold move.
	Because no one else has done this.
	Which seems interesting.
	Yeah, that's true, but he's still doing the mealy-mouthed PR statement.
	I mean, again, he's a fucking multi-millionaire basketball owner, so who gives a shit?
	But it's like... I know there are a lot of people out there who...
	People who want the same policies as me, who believe in the same values that I believe in, who are also like quote patriotic, like who are also like self-described patriots.
	That's not to say I think we have to adopt patriotism as a tactic on the left or anything like that.
	I don't think that's necessary.
	But I feel like every person that I described Would not say, I STAND IN DETENTION WITH MY HAND OVER MY HEART EVERY SINGLE TIME I HEAR THE- Like, that is like a liberal performatively doing patriotism to try and win over the right wing.
	Yeah, exactly.
	That's like what that is.
	That's not a normal person.
	No, yeah, it's a fake.
	It's a total fraud.
	Yeah, so I just thought that that part was funny, but um...
	Patrick, so yeah, the Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick, responded to that decision, responded that the decision was, quote, a slap in the face to every American and an embarrassment to Texas.
	Quote, sell the franchise and some Texas patriots will buy it, he wrote in a Twitter post.
	I love this acknowledgement.
	He's like, no, there's some really rich Texans.
	There's some insanely rich Texans who don't give a fuck and they will do this.
	They will do this to spite you.
	I also love the idea that this is like their wedge issue.
	You know, this is like their culture war issue.
	Like Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick named the bill one of his legislative priorities, right?
	I don't know the makeup of Texas.
	I don't know like the politics.
	I know it's like split between fucking Austin and Dallet, like the major metropolitan hubs of Texas and like the rest of Texas.
	I think it's kind of telling that this is one of the Lieutenant Governor's legislative priorities, the demand to protect the national anthem.
	I don't think normal people, as much as we cover right wing freaks on this show, the most vocal, rabid base of the right wing, I don't think a lot of normal people are clamoring For the anthem to be played in front of, you know, sports games, national sports.
	I don't think that's the priority of most people, even in Texas.
	And I think it's very funny when he says, sell the franchise and some Texas Patriots will buy it.
	Like you alluded to, Tony, is like, you know, a good millionaire.
	One of the good millionaires will buy it.
	I think it's funny that this is their this is their gambit like depending on the idea that the average voter or the average person engaged with politics is going to care like which billionaire owns the Maverick like Oh no, you know, I'm making less money relative to the cost of living than my dad did, than my grandpa did.
	But my main focus now is which billionaire owns the Dallas Mavericks?
	Well, it's not only that, but it's who is getting my tax dollars, which is a wild part of this story that kind of gets overlooked, that is a common thing that doesn't get talked about a lot, is that these professional sports teams that bring in insane amounts of money and spend insane amounts of money are subsidized by the states and cities that they're in.
	Totally.
	And so that it's it's unfortunate that it is an issue that is like people might be upset about but that's not really what you know that's might be what they're saying like listen if you're gonna use Texas dollars you gotta show Texas respect.
	Yeah I mean it is like where your tax money is going like who your tax money is going to but it's also like These stadiums, when they are built, these stadiums, when they are developed, they displace the poorest people.
	Look at the history of the L.A.
	Dodgers fucking stadium.
	It's like ethnic cleansing on a small scale when these stadiums are built.
	But yeah, the response to this is like, The response that the Republicans have here is to say, oh, well, we're giving you all these subsidies, but we can take them away just as easily.
	It's not the idea.
	It's it's like.
	I mean, this is such a tangled issue because of all the all the like.
	It's the culture war going on in the right with like with the Kaepernick protests, BLM and all of that, most people who Would care about this?
	Who would care about whether or not the national anthem is being played in front of an NBA game?
	Have already boycotted the NBA.
	Yeah.
	They already don't like the NBA.
	The NBA was already acknowledging their black players way too much by not firing them for wearing t-shirts.
	One of the number one responses I saw to this was, LOL, I don't watch sports anymore anyway, but it's funny to punish them further.
	That was literally like the number one response to this.
	That makes sense.
	The constitutionality of whether or not you're able to dictate the politics of somebody you're giving tax credits to or whatever is really kind of an interesting I don't know.
	Snarl?
	For me, I've been thinking about this, you know, for like the two days when I sent you this piece.
	Yeah.
	Right here.
	Oh, by the way, the NBA itself already told Mark Cuban that he had to play the National Anthem before his games.
	Before this law was even passed.
	I mean, it still hasn't been signed into law.
	But before it even passed the House, Mark Cuban resumed playing the National Anthem.
	Because the NBA, which again, is like a conglomeration of the wealthiest motherfuckers on the planet, do not give a shit about the politics of their players, or the well-being of their players, or whatever.
	Already told him he had to continue playing it, but opponents... And the option B was literally paying fines that he could afford.
	You know?
	Opponents of the bill questioned the constitutionality of a law that tied funding to free speech by threatening repercussions for teams that chose to express their opinions by choosing not to play the anthem.
	Quote, once again we're carrying legislation that is openly and aggressively unconstitutional, Democratic State Representative Gene Wu said, according to the Tribune.
	Several proposed amendments to the bill were also defeated during Monday's debate.
	And so some people were pushing back saying, hey, how can, you know, this is big government dictating like what private citizens get to do with their companies or with their speech or whatever.
	And you see the right wing adopting the liberal response to cancel culture.
	Which, I saw comments literally saying, freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences.
	Yep.
	Yep.
	Totally.
	Which is, you know, we know that one.
	It's familiar to anybody who's like, you know, seen somebody get fired for a Facebook post or seen somebody get fired for, um...
	you know they're like an organization that they were part of you know like and it happens on both sides of the culture war and the response is well this was a you know this was a private hey uh if you don't think Chili's has the right to fire whoever the fuck they want to then leave America snowflake You know, trying to, like, own conservatives with their own logic or whatever.
	And it's like now conservatives have adopted the sarcastic right-wing rhetoric of liberals when they're trying to own the right-wing to say that, oh no, yeah, Texas can give all the consequences it wants to free speech.
	That's just the way it works, baby.
	It's just how it goes.
	But I don't know that, like, There's a con- like I'm trying to- so what it boils down to is like, yes, Mark Cuban and the Dallas Mavericks gets like tax credits, tax incentives to operate in the state of Texas or in the city of Dallas or whatever.
	Um, A, I don't think that that's right.
	I think that's, you know, should be done away with period.
	Right.
	But when you're saying like, We will only give tax credits to people with this ideology or people who do this thing?
	Like, is that unconstitutional?
	Because you could say, oh, we'll give tax credits to builders or developers who use, like, who build in specific areas.
	So you're, like, discriminating against people who don't build in that area, or... Yeah.
	You're discriminating against people who don't build up to a certain code, or given a, like, A specific set of guidelines, like this has to be the way you build or the people you rent out to or whatever to get the tax credits.
	I think that's different than saying you fulfilled all like the building codes, you fulfilled all the operating guidelines, but you also didn't play a specific song before the game.
	Like that feels like a bridge too far, I guess.
	Yeah, I wish they took the same approach to maybe, you know, how the people working in the arena are treated.
	You know, things like that.
	But instead, like you said, it's about a song.
	Yeah, and it's like, I don't like... Mandating how people are paid, how the employers are treated, mandating the safety of the building, mandating...
	The rules and the sport or whatever, all of that seems like a reasonable interest to the public.
	It all seems like a reasonable thing I would want if my tax dollars hypothetically were going to this private interest, which again, I don't think should be going there either way.
	That all seems relevant what like specific politics or what specific like promotions or something somebody is running while owning this huge private company that seems like superfluous that's that I don't know I don't I think they're and this is again where I'm trying to like I'm not saying this for my own taste.
	I'm talking about, like, constitutional law.
	That seems, like, too far for constitutional law to uphold.
	Yeah.
	And, like, the real reason why Mark Cuban probably decided not to play it is because it was, you know, half-sold capacities, and it was awkward when you could hear people be like, fuck this!
	Boo!
	Boo, this shit's whack!
	That's the real reason he stopped doing it.
	Yeah.
	Um a lot a number uh oh and the Democrats had so Texas Democrats had proposed requiring teams to play both the quote star-spangled banner and lift every voice and sing the so-called black national anthem or choose between the songs but that was shut down.
	I love that.
	I love that.
	The Democratic response to this is, no, we have to play the black one too.
	Yes, okay, we'll force the racist one to be played as long as we also force the black one to be played.
	I'm so mad that I slept in on that day when we got to vote for the Black National Anthem.
	You know?
	Because I was going to vote for Don't Call Me Nigga Whitey.
	That's what I wanted to happen.
	Imagine an arena full of just, like, black people really enjoying that, and just white people feeling really uncomfortable, much like the introversion that does happen at most sporting events.
	Listen, I would have voted for that one, too, as the Black National Anthem, Tony.
	I would be there right there with you voting for it.
	I, uh, I just, yeah, it's the thing that's funny.
	That's the Democratic.
	No, we're also going to mandate that billionaires performatively play this woke national anthem and that'll make everything better.
	Um, one of the main, another main response to this was like, it's sad that we need legislation to make people respect America.
	It's sad that it's come to this, but that's socialism at its finest.
	Yep.
	And it's like, instead of, I mean, this is kind of like the reactionary mind really in a nutshell but it's like instead of questioning like why people hate the fucking country that they live in like instead of questioning why people aren't doing so well you're just going to make it illegal or at least you know outside the rules uh to criticize it Yeah, absolutely.
	Well, the thing is, you know, I sing the National Anthem to defend your right.
	The National Anthem gave you the right to not sing the National Anthem, so therefore I have to sing it hard.
	Yeah, therefore you have to sing it.
	Um yeah it's like it's not only is it like trying to deal with punitively try to punitively deal with the symptom of your nation being purely diseased like trying to deal with the symptom through punitive legislation it's also like not even understanding Why that punitive legislation is required, you know?
	Yeah.
	God, it's so sad that people just are miserable now, that the life expectancy is lower, the quality of life is lower.
	But I liked the Lib response that I saw to this, which was, actually, forced patriotism?
	Sounds a lot like communism.
	And that's how you own the right wing.
	That's how you get them.
	That's how you dunk on them.
	Yeah.
	Let's move on to some comments from Newsmax.
	And I know this episode's probably running just a little bit long, but these are good ones.
	Bangers.
	Sorry.
	Jerseyboy said, now let's make it a federal law and make use of Gitmo for those who violate it.
	Let's bring back Gitmo for people that don't want to sing or play the national anthem.
	Let's do that.
	Think about how big the pyramid we could make.
	With all the people that are going to end up there.
	Wow, finally add another wonder to the world.
	And what a wild... I love how extreme that is.
	Yeah, um, I like, I like the shift from... Listen, freedom of speech, uh, we have freedom of speech.
	That doesn't mean freedom from consequences like Gitmo.
	Like Gitmo, exactly.
	Should have thought about that before you... The whole thing is you're getting punished for not doing something.
	Yeah, if he's just talking about Mark Cuban, like billionaires, okay, maybe we can meet in the middle.
	Yeah, all the unpatriotic billionaires, yeah, let's send them to Gitmo.
	Yes, I'm for that.
	We're good with that.
	FrankJ71 says, Time to secede!
	And somebody get Mark Cuban out of our country!
	What?
	Are you seceding from the arena in which the Dallas Mavericks play basketball?
	What?
	So, he wants Texas to secede because Mark Cuban is being unpatriotic to the nation of America From which we are seceding.
	Is it because a country would allow this in the first place?
	He didn't get Git Mode, so now we gotta secede.
	As Texans, we're gonna secede from the country, but we get to keep the name America.
	Absolutely.
	And the song, and the flags.
	Everybody else is just, uh, Commie-fornia.
	That's what you're gonna call it.
	You're gonna belt it all off.
	Yeah, so we'll be the only true patriots by seceding from this country.
	Everyone else is literally foreigners.
	But then also Mark Cuban, since he is in Texas, will also have to deport him to California.
	See you later.
	See you later, alligator.
	Um, this person's name that I'm not going to read.
	It's bad.
	It sucks.
	It's a username that sucks with a slur in it.
	They say, also should require the birthday song be sung properly.
	Not with all that hip hop crap thrown in.
	Am I right?
	That's, I love it because they're literally just talking about, I mean, would I consider black happy birthday just because I grew up singing two different happy birthdays?
	What?
	Yeah.
	What's the black happy birthday?
	Because, like, you know, everyone's happy birthday to you, but black happy birthday is the... Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy... The whole... Everyone does it.
	It just happens.
	Wow.
	I know that song, yeah.
	But I love that that's what they're talking about, and they're talking about like, but not with all the rap stuff, or are they talking about the end?
	Oh, don't people like clap for happy birthday?
	Don't they do like a happy birthday clap thing?
	No, not that I'm aware of.
	But they're talking about the many more part.
	Many more on Channel 4.
	That's the rapping, I think, maybe.
	The whole, yeah, a big fat, a big naked lady on Channel 80, all that stuff, that's all, that's kind of like scatting.
	It's kind of like improv.
	It does rhyme.
	I think that might be the hip-hop stuff.
	Like, yeah, the cha-cha-cha.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	Cha-cha-cha.
	That's what it was.
	Not clapping.
	Oh, I hate that one.
	That's onomatopoeias.
	That's definitely scatting.
	I looked up, I typed in Dallas Mavericks happy birthdays because I wanted to hear the hip-hop birthday song that they were talking about.
	I was like, I have no idea.
	Dallas Mavericks hip-hop birthday?
	Yeah.
	And this is what I found.
	and I think this is what they're talking about.
	sad music
	cough sad music laughs Can we learn that?
	Can we learn that and like sing it at the next opportunity that we have to sing happy birthday to somebody?
	So what that was is that was Dallas Mavericks center Boban Marjanovic singing a song he wrote for his wife on her birthday.
	Oh, I love that.
	What a sweetheart.
	Uh, and I mean, you can't deny it had some swag to it.
	It did.
	It did.
	I think that maybe this guy saw this Instagram post and was like, I'm sick of these, these hip hop, hip hop, like flashy motherfuckers from Russia.
	With their 7-4 frames coming over here and changing up what already works.
	We already got a birthday song.
	Yeah, we got it.
	It's on lockdown.
	Get that one sewed up.
	I do look forward every year to Aunt Penny's birthday when we start singing Happy Birthday.
	Me and my brother and a couple other people are the only ones singing the black version.
	Everyone else goes in on the white version.
	It's uncomfortable every year and I live for it.
	I look forward to it.
	It's the best.
	That's what COVID took away from us last year.
	Couple more comments here.
	Son of a 376th pilot says, Mark Cuban is very smart, great businessman, and my enemy!
	Mark!
	We have a constitution!
	If you don't like this country, get the fuck out!
	I remember that part of the Constitution when it's like, if you own an NBA franchise, you are obligated to play a song called the Star Spangled Banner before every single game.
	Listen, Mark Cuban, he's a smart businessman, he's a wealthy billionaire, and that makes him all the more dangerous.
	He was a Shark Tank guy, right?
	Yeah, a lot of people said they stopped watching Shark Tank because of him.
	Wow, yeah, to live on Shark Tank.
	But I mean, yeah, he's smart, obviously, but yeah, enemy.
	Yeah, I mean, real recognize real, and I'll give you this much, Mark.
	You're very smart, you're a great businessman.
	I will have to destroy you, though.
	Yeah.
	It does me no pleasure to know that I will have to bring you down.
	I know that I respect you as a warrior.
	finally uh clev devo said these are all from newsmax by the way great great resource for comments if you're ever feeling down just go look at newsmax for a little bit it's pretty fun what i love is that you just say clev devo and we've been doing this for so long that i thought to myself that sounds familiar does it i don't know I don't know.
	I mean, it just sounds like one of the names, like, that we've had, Clev.
	It's just like, that sounds like a name we've had before, that sounds like a name that's not real, but also makes sense.
	Clev Devo says, Texas has made the statement for America.
	Now is the time for all right-minded Americans who are true patriots to embrace this vote.
	I, as a disabled combat vet of two wars and countless deployments from 1976 to 2003, am telling you all who come on here that Newsmax and the other voices out there are right!
	Dammit!
	Take this country over!
	Dot, dot, dot.
	NOW!
	Buffoon Biden and Crudmullah are going to kill us all!
	Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot!
	What the fuck was going on where you got deployed countless times between 1976 and 2003, but were only a disabled combat vet of two wars?
	but we're only a combat war of, a combat vet of, a disabled combat vet of two wars.
	Which we haven't heard, we haven't heard disabled combat vet in a minute.
	Well, I see those comments all the time.
	They're just usually less interesting.
	That's usually just the whole comment.
	Yeah.
	Um, it's just, you know, I'm, I am a 100% disabled vet.
	Uh, and what, what I, I think we, it's time to hang them high, you know, and it's like, we've had that comment too many times to really put them on the show or whatever, but.
	Yeah, I'm a combat vet of two wars.
	The Vietnam War and Operation Iraqi Freedom.
	I skipped Desert Storm.
	Yeah, I was trying to take a little sabbatical.
	I was deployed, I just wasn't at that war.
	I was doing something else.
	I love Crudmula.
	Yes.
	Very lazy, but very good.
	That's so good.
	No, I think that took some work.
	I think it took some effort to type that out.
	I think, like, he got auto-corrected five times trying to type that one out.
	Oh, totally.
	Totally.
	You think they turn the auto-correct off, and that's why there's other natural typos so often?
	Buffoon Biden and Krudmala are going to kill us all.
	Dot dot dot dot.
	And they kill us all.
	You can't end that statement with a dot dot dot dot.
	That's a weak ending.
	Yeah.
	To your otherwise pretty forceful statement.
	Also, like, why are they killing us because of some basketball owner?
	It's like, what?
	You really got lost there.
	It's just, maybe that, maybe the end actually is just their footer that is just always there.
	And I will say that this person, like, Definitely is a cinephile because their avatar is the poster or cover art for Apocalypse Now.
	So they definitely understood the message of that movie which is that war is good and the liberals were wrong for pulling out of Vietnam.
	Maybe that's what they mean is they really were enlisted in 2003 but they were so impacted by by apocalypse now that they actually say they were there in 1976 which would have been way later but still Yeah, I think so.
	I think this is a good place to end the episode.
	Thank you so much for listening.
	Thank you to those of you who support the show by subscribing to us on patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
	P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult.
	For $3 a month, you get a bonus episode every single week.
	And I believe we're going to have some pretty big news to announce next week in terms of Patreon subscription.
	I'm really excited for that.
	Check out, I was a guest on an episode on a podcast called Radio Free Tote Bag, which is like a relationships and sexual health advice show.
	And there's a lot of embarrassing stories that I told on that show, as well as some very thoughtful and nice advice given by the hosts of that show to the listeners who wrote in.
	It was a fun time.
	We thanked them for having me on and Tony was on an episode as well a few weeks back.
	Very good episode to listen to.
	Yeah, I mean, I know you pretty well.
	I know a lot of your stories, and I thoroughly enjoyed that episode.
	It was really fun.
	It was a good episode.
	Definitely worth listening.
	Radio Free Tote Bag.
	Check them out.
	Yeah.
	Want to write to us?
	It's MinionDeathCult at gmail.com.
	MinionDeathCult on all the social media apps.
	And I think that's it.
	That's it, yeah.
	Everybody have a good day or night, whatever time you're listening to this.
	Yeah, stay beautiful y'all.

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