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Feb. 9, 2021 - Minion Death Cult
01:21:36
The only thing Tom MacDonald slays: bars, allusions, etc.

This week current events finally force us to cover Facebook rapper Tom MacDonald and his conservative culture war bars also, we cover the forthcoming Hogg pillow and the various reasonable responses across the political spectrum Music: Shao Fist - Shao Demo Support the show for $3/mo at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week delivered to your podcast app

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Time Text
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
Oh, they're in Bartholston.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
We're Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Rappers who only talk about drugs and sex and violence are responsible.
We're documenting it.
Wouldn't it be great, Tony, if there were an artist who were like an actual artist?
I was thinking that, yeah.
Talks about issues that we all face.
Issues like how you're going to prison for being a straight white male.
Yeah, I've been waiting to hear that specifically in hip-hop.
I've been yearning for that.
Well wouldn't you know it, there's a hot young rapper on the scene.
His name is Tom McDonald and he's 35 years old.
What a cool hip MC name.
What a cool rapper name.
I like that he's just proud to be who he is and doesn't have to have like a moniker.
A pseudonym.
He doesn't have to have a catchy or cool name.
That's how you know he's good.
That's how you know he's real.
Tom McDonald is somebody whose career I've been following very closely.
He is, he is the Facebook rapper's Facebook rapper.
He is, um, he's just been putting in work for the last, you know, five, six years, you know, just really like putting his nose to the grindstone, adding those top bar and bottom bar to his Facebook videos that say things like, you know, this rapper disses other rappers.
This rapper talks about real issues.
Everybody hates this rapper because he's fucking awful.
And it's like, you decide.
And there's like little flame emojis next to it.
He's not quite like backpack rap.
He's like the empty suitcase you bring to an interview rap.
He is, uh, he's, he's Roley Backpack Rap.
That's what it is.
He's Roley Backpack Rap.
Okay.
He's Roley Backpack Rap.
He is like if TPUSA had an Immortal Technique ripoff.
Yeah, that's, that's, you nailed it.
That's exactly what that's supposed to be.
And you'll, you'll hear what we're talking about.
I don't want to get into, you know, talk about it too much without everybody hearing it, but This is a guy that, again, fascinated by a lot of people probably know about him.
He's like the guy who's like, you know, he's got the red braids.
He looks like Macklemore, but with braids.
He's like standing on high school students' desks yelling at them that they're not white enough or whatever.
Um and yelling about how everybody hates him all the time and I don't know he's just fun he's a fun little side show he's a fun corny guy uh that I never really thought was worth covering on the podcast you know he's not like a cop like he doesn't have the power of life and death he's just like a corny Facebook guy yeah so didn't really think there you know just enjoyed him for myself just for personal reasons I I was enjoying his work
But now he's sort of, I don't know, burst up to a higher level, burst onto a scene with, for one thing, Marjorie Taylor Greene, famous QAnon House representative, giving him a big ol' boost on Twitter.
Posting a screenshot of his new single, Fake Woke, and I believe that tweet that she posted of his song is why she got kicked off of her committees in the House of Representatives.
And then furthermore, Tom McDonald just did an interview on Glenn Beck.
Which is very funny that we're going to play a little bit of, but...
Uh, just a quick overview, like Tom McDonald, he used to release albums and now he just releases singles that are like very highly produced with, you know, music videos that are, you know, lots of skits and lots of like set pieces in these music videos.
I'm just going to read the titles of these singles, you know, his more recent singles.
We have Canceled.
We have Fake Woke.
We have Best Rapper Ever.
We have No Lives Matter.
We have Cancer, which is about how, like, liberals are cancer.
We have People So Stupid.
Uh, we have Blame the Rappers.
We have a single called Coronavirus.
Ooh, I wonder what that one's about.
Uh, we have White Trash.
We have I Hate Hip Hop.
We have Cloned Rappers.
We have Buttholes.
We have If I Was Black, which is offensive to me because it should obviously, if I were black, being a hypothetical state, uh, you know, uh, A hypothetical there.
Yeah, yeah.
Then we have, yeah, straight white male, and the cover of that is him in an orange jumpsuit, getting a mugshot taken.
Everybody hates me, where he's wearing a MAGA ski mask, but it says, I think everybody hates me instead of Make America Great Again.
Politically incorrect.
American Dreams with a Z, White Boy in all caps, and Dear Rappers.
Dear Rappers, which is his breakout hit in 2017.
And I just want to play a little bit of Dear Rappers.
This is the one that caused quite a big stir on the internet.
Yeah, I remember when this came out.
I remember this came out and you showed it to me, and I was just like, nah, I don't even want to talk about this.
I was too upset.
Yeah, Tony's been avoiding Tom McDonald for years.
Tony has not shared in my fascination of Tom McDonald.
He's everything I hate.
He's like something somebody made up just to make me upset.
Let's hear a little bit of Dear Rappers.
You taught me to think.
You taught me to grow.
You taught me the things to survive on my own.
But now you teach me to drink.
You teach me to smoke.
You teach me to think.
Every woman's a hoe.
I don't want your Xanax bars or your fancy foreign cars.
Throw your money in my face and try to tell me that it's art.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
Just a drug addict on TV.
You taught me to think, you taught me to grow, you taught me the things to survive on my own.
But now you teach me to drink, you teach me to smoke, you teach me to think, every woman's a hoe!
Like, there's not many things I hate more than, I mean, more than a white rapper, you know?
In general.
And so, when you're making money off the culture, I already hate you.
And then when you make money using the culture to talk shit on the culture, and think that you're better than it, I fucking hate it.
It is so upsetting that this person has not had the brakes beat off of them.
I'm so mad.
But I think if you play it for any rapper, they're just going to laugh.
Oh, no.
Au contraire.
I have dozens of reaction videos with black people reacting, and I'm just assuming they're rappers, reacting to the song and saying, oh, this is good.
This is straight fire, right?
Wait, did any of them have like a basketball or like drugs in their hands?
I'll have to go back and check.
Drugs are tricky because you can still be a rapper and have drugs in your hands.
But if they had basketball, they're basketball players.
But if they had none of the two, you can assume they're rappers.
Um, I just, you know what, I think, you know, difference of opinion, I think he did it the right way.
Because he still has the, like, he still has the ad-libs in the back, the yuh.
Like he still has that, and so it sounds like real rap to me, but it's like about something.
It's about how rap is bad.
It's about how rappers are bad.
And the singing, the hook, the hook, the nasally hook is incredible.
Uh, he's the, the chorus ends, um, just a drug addict on TV.
You're just a drug addict.
So it's like, this is like the oldest criticism of rap, right?
This is like the, the only criticism of rap that is not like, I dunno, that's not worth anything at all.
Like, and it's just, it's funny because, uh, What is it here?
It's funny because it's like, what other piece of art is just somebody complaining about other artists in that medium or genre?
Only the best kind of art.
Like, I was really trying to think, I was really trying to think about this.
Like, has anyone made a movie that just complains about other movies?
That just complains about, like, other filmmakers and calls it- You mean, like- Dear filmmakers, I hate you.
You mean, like, besides, like, scary movie?
Yeah, they're making fun, I guess, but they're not, like, you know, uh, Halloween, I used to love you, where did you go?
Now everything's a jump scare!
Oh no!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh man.
I don't... It's just whining.
It's just complaining and whining.
I think it only does exist in hip hop.
But usually you're talking about the quality of the person or the rapper, not like the whole genre.
I'm not saying it's unique to hip hop.
I'm saying it's unique to this guy who's just wrote a whole song complaining about the fucking medium that he's in.
It's embarrassing.
Yeah, it's bad.
And it's the oldest critic.
You taught me to think.
You taught me to... Rap taught you how to think?
Yeah, that's not good.
Let me play a little more of this song.
I mean, it taught me a lot.
Yeah?
Yeah?
Anything else?
No, just about how to think and how to like... I blame a lot of my bad decisions on rap music.
So you're right there with him.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm really feeling him actually.
Rappers.
Okay.
*music* Is this about someone specific?
Because one of the biggest songs of the past decade was Fuck Donald Trump.
That was literally a song.
That was a huge song.
Rap music talks about all this stuff.
YGE?
Who's the guy with the cross tattoo on his forehead?
Oh, um, uh, 21 Savage?
Yeah.
It's like, so the Dear Rappers single, look it up on Spotify.
The Dear Rappers single has the faces of four rappers on them.
One of them is 21 Savage.
The other guy, I, I, I don't, I don't know him all by looks.
Uh, I think one of them's Mace, maybe?
Oh, let's see.
Uh, the dude on the left might be Lil Uzi Vert.
He's like calling these people out.
He's like actually putting their faces on his shit.
Oh yeah, it's Meek Mill, 21 Savage, Lil Uzi Vert, and I don't know who the fourth person is.
But yeah, he's talking about those specific people.
Meek Mill's talked a lot about this stuff.
Meek Mill was in prison during this stuff.
Well, I didn't hear it.
But, I mean, it was huge.
It was huge.
I don't care.
I didn't hear it.
He should have done it more.
Yeah.
Hey, how do you not hear it?
Rapper?
Like, you're a rapper.
And you're living in a country that elected Donald Trump, that guy that in two years I'm going to say liberals are exaggerating about and losing their minds over and it's funny.
Yeah.
So he wasn't even on that train yet then, huh?
Uh, he, it seems like he started off on the, uh, the, like, good boy rap.
The, like, the Uncle Adams, like, motivational, I'm, I'm, uh, I want to be a positive role model kind of, kind of rap.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Rise and grind.
And that was his Facebook shtick for a while was like, you know, this rapper sings but talks about issues or whatever.
And now it's just like all just controversy.
Like, what can I do to like, you know, stick it in the craw of, I don't know, whatever the corniest liberals on social media.
But yeah, you're living in a country where police are killing people every day and all you want to talk about is doing drugs.
He like talks shit on BLM in like every single song.
So it's just, it's nonsense.
And like not the cool way that I do it now, but like in a bad way that was happening then.
Yes, so I've been following Tom MacDonald for a while.
I was in several Tom MacDonald fan Facebook groups that just don't exist anymore, I guess.
I tried to find them the other day when I was preparing for this episode and just they don't exist anymore so I had to join some new ones.
But I did save some just exemplary posts I saw, you know, a couple years ago in those groups.
One of them, I blocked out the name because I think I shared this on social media at one point.
I blocked out the name, but he posted into the Tom McDonald Facebook group.
I just got into the rap scene.
What are other great artists I should check out?
I already listened to Hopsin, Logic, and Joyner Lucas religiously.
Don't know much others besides Tupac.
Yeah, oh yeah.
That's so perfect.
I feel bad for Logic there, because Logic is corny, but to lump him in with Hobson and Joyner Lucas, that's just rough.
Poor guy.
That's fucking brutal.
Man, how do you How do you just not turn the radio on?
I don't know.
Do anything besides what you're doing to find out about the music you're trying to find out about?
Well, I don't know.
A couple of those stations are pretty black.
Kind of scary.
I like Tupac though.
Tupac had some hits.
Yeah, I feel like he was on the ball there.
And then just one other post that I loved was from a guy named Shane Belleville who posted this.
Got called racist showing a reaction video to a couple kids in wrong part of town.
Out of all songs this house got this for me.
Reaction streamer was like Tom McDonald saves rap.
And that was another thing that, uh, that the Facebook videos would say at the top and bottom.
I would say this rapper is saving rap, you know, from itself or whatever.
By the line, loaded the lumber and pounded the stakes in.
Got a 20 or 20 or 10 or 20 pound weight in the face and be in a beating.
About nine stitches in my nose.
Out of nose, in mouth, fucked up shoulder, elbows, and knees.
I awake to police asking who.
I said, I think I seized up and fell on face.
Disbelief, they ambulanced me to get checked.
From rib, shoulder, elbows, and face, it's clear I was lying.
But regardless, people need to close their eyes, open their mind, and hear what's being told to them.
Take in the picture painted for you.
Look at it a hundred times, upside down if needs be, before reacting.
The post goes on, but what he's saying is that he was showing a reaction video to some kids in the wrong part of town.
So just, you know, interpret that for what you will.
And the reaction video said, the guy said that this white guy with red braids was saving rap.
Probably said some other racist stuff too.
Yeah.
And then Shane got hit in the face with a 20 pound weight.
What I love about this if what you get out of Tom McDonald's music is that when you get when you get jumped and I hope they like I hope they robbed him I'm gonna guess they robbed him that when you get robbed you still don't like tell Like, he didn't rat in the story.
Yeah, that's good.
In this story, he was like, oh, I think I seized and fell on my face.
Good job.
Good job.
I don't think he's getting that from Tom McDonald's music, but if that's a possibility, maybe I'll give him a shot.
But no, yeah, that's fucking wild.
I love that.
That makes me sick.
One thing about Tom McDo... Like, was he, like, evangelizing?
Yeah, okay, of course.
Obviously.
Let me drop some knowledge on you.
You guys like rap music, right?
How do you feel about hard work and ethics?
That's what Tom McDonald is.
He's a rapper that, like, you're supposed to go teach people how good he is.
You're, like, he is a rapper that is meant to be, like, not other rappers.
You have to, like, explain how good he is and why he's good and why he's better than the current stable.
So that's what, like, 99% of the reaction to Tom McDonald is, is just people saying he's not like other rappers, or I hated rap, but for some reason I like this.
That must mean that it's really good rap.
I think a lot of people are just like, they're just, they're seeing him and triggering whatever was triggered when we listened to Mudvayne.
When Mudvayne was good, because he looks like he belongs in the band Mudvayne.
Uh, yeah.
He's trying to tap into a lot of, like, the scene.
I mean, he's got the face tattoos.
He's got, you know, piercings and that sort of thing.
He's definitely trying to ride the wave of, like, SoundCloud rap, like, aesthetics.
Yeah, he is, the reaction to this is like, I don't, I never liked rap until I knew that it could be real rap, like this guy.
And I, being somebody that hates rap, I feel like I'm in a perfect place to judge what's real good rap, and that's what this is.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because rap should be relatable, right?
And how am I supposed to, how am I supposed to relate to a 2 Chainz when I'm never even going to have one?
Yeah, this post goes on pretty long.
And then he posted a picture of his nose all bloody.
So, I'm going to play this Glenn Beck interview.
Iconic.
Tom McDonald is a Canadian hip-hop artist and producer currently based in the United States.
Based is right.
He initially went viral with his song Dear Rappers in 2017.
Most recently, Tom released Fake Woke, his fourth number one single in the U.S.
on iTunes charts.
And it is now over, what, 3.5 million views now.
Tom, welcome to the program.
Mr. Glenn Beck, thanks for having me, man.
You bet.
So, Tom, you know, and this may come as a surprise to you, I'm not really down in the rap scene all that often.
But when my circle of friends start sending me videos over the weekend, as they did, and said, you've got to watch this and listen to it, it says something about your impact on culture.
So again, this is, hey, I don't like hip hop.
Frankly, I think it's degenerate.
I think it's a subhuman form of art and communication.
But when my friends, they start sending me this, hey, that's when I know it's time to pay attention.
And when it gets to me, that's how I know it's good.
Can somebody forward Glenn Beck an episode of Me and Death Cult?
If you're a friend of Glenn Beck.
Normally I hate podcasts.
He's a radio guy.
Play just a little bit of your song here so we can talk about it and people know what we're talking about.
Sure.
Here it comes.
So it's good to mention here that Tom McDonald is actually Canadian.
Very important.
That's a big thing.
Canadian impostors are huge.
They're a real plague.
Sometimes the truth comes from the strangest of places.
Sometimes it takes a Canadian to say what it means to be an American.
To really understand, yeah.
That makes sense.
People know what we're talking about.
Sure.
Here it comes.
We're ashamed to be American.
You should probably love it.
Cause you have the right to hate it and not get stoned to death in public.
As children, we were taught how to walk and talk.
But the system wants adults to sit down and shut up.
- What? - What?
- This is great.
It's like such half-assed complaining.
It's just whining, complaining.
This is what's bad.
I am in fact woke because I'm pointing out how you're fake woke for hating America even though America lets you hate it.
And that's a real thinker for me.
It kind of blew my mind when he said that.
Could God create a country so great that he himself could hate it?
That's the question.
That's the question he really poses here.
here and another thing that he says here that I really- - I was smoking a $30 gram of weed and I came up with that one. - One thing I really like empathize with him though is when he says, you know, you're lucky you're an American, you get to hate this and he gets stoned in public.
Like the life and times of Tom McDonald, you know, can't even walk down the street without somebody, you know, yelling at him and throwing actual rocks at him.
Yeah, well no, what he's saying is he doesn't, I mean, he probably gets stoned in public for liking America.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I mean, that's why we love it, because we can get high here.
Well, okay, so the line is that there's no punishment for hating America.
That's why America's so great.
You won't get stoned in public for, you know, rocks thrown at you, you know, for hating America.
And it's like, well, how free am I to hate America when the punishment for that is hearing a shitty Canadian scold me with cornball rap?
Yeah.
I don't think that it's necessarily free from punishment there.
I love the line, as children we were taught how to walk and talk, but the system wants adults to sit down and shut up.
And I'm pretty sure, like, if I want to get pedantic here, I'm pretty sure, like, that's what, like, the system wants from kids, too.
Like, you literally have to, like, sit in a desk and, like, keep your mouth quiet.
You have to, like, ask for permission to talk.
Yeah, you can't even, like, chew gum.
Like, you... you have to sit there.
Um... But the lyrics are so... It's like, again, it's like Immortal Technique through, like, TPUSA memes.
It's like... Preachy as fuck.
Annoying as hell.
I don't know how anyone could listen to this because it's just like... It's just like evangelizing the whole time about the dumbest shi- Like... Like, uh... When we were kids, we learned our ABCs, but now they tell me Q ain't a real G?
He's reading posts.
He's forcing posts into bars.
That's what he's doing here.
Kids have all the rights these days.
Am I right, adults?
All of Tom McDonald's ghostwriters are like 65-year-old, you know, mattress salesmen.
Kids today think that communism is ill, but do they even know how many million Nazis they killed?
Yeah, it's like Youth of the Nation written by a 70-year-old.
It's like offspring lyrics, but less artistic.
Oof.
Yeah, I mean, it is rap.
It's not the craft that is pop-punk that is the offspring.
Well, they did have that one song that was like a rap.
Pretty rappy, yeah, that's true.
Cancel culture runs the world now the planet went crazy label everything we say is homophobic or racist if you're white then you're privileged guilty by association all our childhood heroes got me to the rapist.
This is like every single song every single song is fucking complaining about the state of the world in like the most Facebook uncle way like the most boring shit you've seen like pixelated memes shared millions of times for the last 10 years.
I don't know how anybody could listen to this shit.
And it's so non-self-aware.
Just the whole idea of saying, like, Um, you know, I don't like the way things are.
I mean, I know what's right and wrong, but all my heroes have been me too or are rapists, which is funny to separate the two where it's like, Hey, maybe if all the people you looked up to have been like called out and canceled for, for being awful people, maybe you should like think about where you're getting your morals from, you know?
I don't even know what he means by that.
I don't know if he means that it's like, Um, a mark against society that we're taking good people and labeling them rapists?
See, I thought that, but just saying, cause like saying Me Too'd feels like that's what he's saying.
But then when he says, says Me Too'd or are rapists, it's like, Oh, I guess he's, is he saying it's true?
Those are two different categories.
There's being Me Too'd and then there's being a rapist.
So it's like some of them were good because they got me too'd and then some of them were bad because they were actual rapists.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know what he means by that.
But they were still the people he looked up to.
They were still like his heroes.
They don't need the chains.
They gave us tiny screens.
We think we free 'cause we can't see the cage.
They knew the race wall would be-- - This is, again, it's like a meme of like a kid like pounding on glass and you zoom out and it's his iPhone. - I just love this idea of a, of a, hey man, listen, I understand.
I'm mad about slavery too.
Like I also have social media addiction.
Like I'm, I know, I know the plight.
I, my screen time has gone through the roof.
You know, these shackles still remain.
But again, the same guy would say, like, oh, you hate capitalism, yet capitalism invented that phone you love so much, and yet he's complaining about the phone that capitalism invented.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's just, he's a little bit trying to both sides.
He's trying to both sides it enough to where, like, something will catch in a dumb guy's mind and be like, oh yeah, you know what?
Like, phone is bad.
Yeah, this is spiritual dumb guy.
It is that guy who is like, man, you almost get it, but because you're an idiot, you're going to accidentally become a fascist.
You're gonna accidentally do some phrenology along the way.
You're gonna accidentally become a proud boy or whatever.
Yeah.
Because you're just kinda dumb.
Yeah, first you were like, no, yoga and Eastern, Eastern thought.
Like, that's cool.
Oh, hey, this Facebook page.
And then all of a sudden you're like, oh man, you know what?
These rappers do love drugs too much.
Maybe we need to get rid of them.
Right.
You're gonna be like, oh, this Facebook page called, like, Anomaly with a zero in it.
Hey, he's pretty cool.
He's talking about, like, you know, how candy and corn syrup is bad for you and, like, you know, the corporations are trying to control it and, like, that's tight.
And, like, now I'm learning about how, you know, Nancy Pelosi is sucking the adrenochrome out of babies' ears or whatever.
Yeah and like that all makes sense and like it fits right into like your vegan lifestyle where you start your morning every day off with bone broth.
Yeah?
It's a vegan?
That's what this person would say.
Okay.
It's all good for you.
It's like all like good.
Like I read about it.
It's good.
And my stool has been on point.
Um, cool.
That's good.
There it is.
So the song is called Fake Woke and... Oh is it?
Is that what it's called?
The chorus is, Facts don't care about feelings.
Dude, what's funny is that the songs, like the rapping is not terrible.
The bars are not the worst.
But once the hooks come, it's the worst song.
His hooks are terrible.
Yeah, they're terrible.
It's so bad.
Whenever he starts singing or whatever he's doing, it's so awful.
I mean, some of these, some of this like flow is fucking, as children we were taught how to walk and talk.
Yeah.
That's awful.
That's god awful.
But the way he like said flames, like that was, that was hip-hop right there.
As children we like to ride our bikes.
Now all we care about is clicks and likes.
That's the flow on this shit.
You might want to pivot.
I can see with a face tattoo.
As children we watched My Little Pony.
Now every politician realizes that they're phony.
Seriously, if you just want to decide to be like a tall, good-looking, conservative Post Malone, do it.
Like, you will get so paid.
Okay, so you're gonna go the former Black Lives Matter, former Black Block Left podcaster route.
I'm gonna go the White Lives Matter SoundCloud rapper route, and we're gonna meet back here in two years and see if we made more money than on the MDCPatreon.
And we're gonna start a new podcast where we talk about working across the aisles.
It'll be called Thomas Jefferson's Waistcoat.
coat.
A thought project.
Um, yeah.
Uh, I was going to try to come up with another like weird kid rap.
Another thing we used to do as kids.
I mean, you've already done like 19 of them.
I could probably do another one.
I'm sure you can.
Just don't put any pressure on yourself.
That's impressive.
Tom, I have to tell you, I just have to ask you some questions because nobody trusts anybody anymore.
Nobody is who they say they are anymore.
Reminder, this is Glenn Beck interviewing Tom McDonald.
Learn about some hippity hop from Tom McDonald.
Kind of what your song is about.
You look scary.
You think?
I do, I do.
I think you look a little scary.
Serial killer, white power guy.
I don't know, but I'd like to... Have you ever killed anybody?
Only on records.
You know he was so pumped when he said that.
He's like, oh shit, you think I'm scary?
That's so cool.
No one under the age of 65 has ever been scared of Tom McDonald.
I have a photo of Tom McDonald standing next to Ben Shapiro and they are exactly the same height.
No fucking way.
Yeah, he's taking it Disney.
I'm pretty sure it's a Disneyland.
It's like Main Street.
Oh my god.
Oh man, that sucks.
That sucks.
That means if I ever meet Tom McDonald, I can't beat him up because that just makes me a bully.
Yeah.
It's like beating up a child, basically.
I mean, listening to these bars.
If he had like better bars, then I think you could do it.
But with what he's rapping about, I think yeah, it's just a child all the way down.
Yeah, because I can definitely fight him with confidence.
I know he doesn't have a gun or drugs on him, so he's not going to have any type of ability or gun on him.
But then I'm just way too big and he's way too small.
I don't remember when I was a kid, I don't remember the exact details of it, but I remember that there was a band from Russia called Pussy Riot and they went to jail.
They went to jail for either protesting Putin or protesting policies, the Russian government or something.
Something like that.
I just remember that they were put in prison, or in jail rather, for their sort of political views that they expressed in their songs.
And I know that there's other places in the world where people don't have the right to stand up and protest and speak their mind, especially if it's negative things about their country.
Yeah, I mean, people don't have the right to protest, which again, I think is very stupid if you do that in this country.
I think you're a piece of shit if you protest in this country where the cops will literally beat you up and arrest you, plant evidence on you, or just kill you, or whatever.
I think you're a joke if you do that in this country because, as we all know, you have the right to do that in this country, so therefore, why would you ever do it in this country?
You used to understand because you weren't impacted as a child by the band Pussy Riot.
A wee little boy.
Wasn't that like 2015?
A wee young lad.
Seeing a revolution right in front of you.
Pussy Riot was like the second Obama administration.
Yeah.
Tom McDonnell was in his 30s.
It's not a child.
It's like as old as we are.
Yeah, it's not a child.
I think when I was a kid, I remember it was in Russia.
Like, shut the fuck up, dude.
And he's saying nothing.
He's just saying like, you know, we're so lucky that we don't have to deal with that, you know, censorship.
But it's getting there.
Before you know it, I'm gonna get arrested for just doing what I'm doing.
Yeah, nobody in America has been arrested for protesting.
No.
That's a Russia thing.
He could only think of Russia.
Russia was the only country in the world he could think of where somebody was arrested for demonstration.
And it's funny if, I mean, for anybody who's not familiar, Pussy Riot was an all-female... Well, I don't know if they were all female.
I think they were mostly female.
There was at least three women.
There might have been guys in the band.
Three women who wore ski masks and performed topless inside of churches with you know vulgar lyrics about Putin and the uh the church sort of you know uh graphic uh depictions of sex in the lyrics and stuff to protest the idea of a state religion yeah Because that's what was going on.
The state was sort of enforcing the Christian religion and, you know, doing things like passing anti-gay laws and stuff like that.
And so they were protesting inside of churches.
They were taking over churches and like, you know, doing like the fuck me Jesus thing from The Exorcist.
Do you think Tom McDonald would approve of that?
Do you think he would approve if he had any idea what they were actually doing?
No, Tom McDonald didn't discover Pussy Riot until, like, they made their, like, turf statements a couple years ago.
And then he was like, oh, okay, they seem cool.
You know what I mean?
It's just like, it's just like, oh, like, uh, it's like Rage Against the Machine.
Oh, I heard about this band called Rage Against the Machine, and like, they talked about, like, not doing what you're told.
And like, you know, now people are telling us to do what we're told.
And like, I think back and, you know, about how, how bad, like, Rage Against the Machine was treated and, and, uh, how bad these, uh, these, these pussy riot girls were, were treated.
Yeah, I think Raging is a Machine is a band that's totally misremembered.
They played a free show for stockbrokers.
They love that shit.
I think there's more to this interview.
That's what I immediately think of when I see In a world where opinions are illegal.
the canceling and stuff like that.
It just worries me that we're going to slide into some crazy hole where opinions become illegal, you know?
In a world where opinions are illegal.
Now, not to be, I don't know, this might come off as like, I don't know, racist, but what I will say is I have not seen a lot of Macklemore lately and I've never seen them in the same room.
Uh-huh.
You're saying he sounds like Macklemore?
I'm saying that maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe Tom McDonald is Macklemore.
Because listening to his voice, they sound exactly the same talking.
Okay, yeah, I mean who knows I wouldn't put it past these sneaky Canadians Also, can't you just imagine like they look they look the same.
They look exactly the same.
Yeah, that would be except for like the the wild stuff the hairs and the piercings and the tattoos I mean, Macklemore's hair's pretty wild, too.
He's got, like, you know, a weird haircut, too.
Um, I- that would be a good grift.
Come at it from both sides.
Come at it from, like, the weird shit-lib, like, you know, songs about love and acceptance or whatever, uh, and then also come at it with, like, you know, uh, about how facts don't care about your feelings.
I still can't believe that's the fucking...
That's the chorus of that song.
That's insane.
If this song were written like 10 years ago, it would be patriots and pinheads.
Does this mean that Ben Shapiro is influential?
He's influencing the arts now?
Yeah, he's influential in the culture.
Is he a cultural touchstone?
Yeah, I mean, I think so.
That's upsetting.
Yeah, I think it's true.
We've heard him do raps on his own show.
So... It's just, yeah.
What was I gonna say here?
He's complaining about, yeah, cancel culture, and it's gonna be illegal to have opinions, uh, while the guy who just said, uh, the N-word, the country artist who just said the N-word, uh, has topped the charts for like, uh, four weeks in a row.
Like, not just because people like his music, but because he said the N-word.
That's...
That's so wild.
During Black History Month.
It's so upsetting.
It's so upsetting.
I hate it so much.
And the whole thing is, like, that country singer and Tom McDonald are going around playing the victim right now.
Yeah.
Saying, like, we are being, you know, I can't say what I want to say.
I'm going to get persecuted.
Because I think that some, like, I think some, like, Bigger stations, like stop playing them for like a day.
But you gotta pay out the frame.
Yeah, so there were some just great responses in this interview, great YouTube comments.
I mean, yeah, the number one comment is like, I showed my racist 60-year-old dad this music, and normally he hates black people and rap music, but he loves this for some reason.
That is the number one comment on any Tom McDonald video.
Is I can't believe how much my fucking out of touch parents love this shit.
So you know it's good.
Yeah, it has to be.
My old ass dad who hasn't listened to anything new in decades is really into this.
My grandpa who just hates music in general for being too uppity Yeah.
My mom has only listened to Fleetwood Mac for 25 years.
That's it.
She now loves Tom McDonald.
Yeah, don't you have a responsibility?
Didn't you get a good comment for this?
Oh yeah, I do, I do, yeah, yeah.
Just in response to what Glenn was saying, DJ Warrior, who is a, like, middle-aged white lady, sweet, sweet looking white lady, DJ Warrior, Says, quote, you look scary.
Quote.
Uh, the only, cause that was what, that was what Glenn Beck said to him was scary.
So say you look scary, you know, uh, the only thing bracket S bracket things, uh, TM slays bars, illusions, et cetera.
ETC, et cetera.
Yeah.
Uh, what are you saying?
Tom's only dangerous if you're a simile.
Yeah.
Illusions?
Bars?
I love that she knew what bars are.
That's cool.
I mean, she's a DJ warrior.
If you're a phrase, you better protect your neck, because Tom's coming to turn it.
You know?
Yeah.
Like an illusion?
Like a magician?
Uh, there's that, too.
Yeah, you could do something with that, maybe, if you wanted to.
No, no.
No, no.
I would never.
I would never do that.
I fucking hate magicians.
This one post is from Lexi Kristen.
This is a new Tom McDonald Facebook group classic post.
I'm keeping this one.
Lexi Kirsten says, you know Tom is literally an amazing real rapper when you're highly political strictly country slash classic rock music loving boss likes his music dot dot dot I showed him Fake Woke today, when I got to work, and he was taken back by the fact that he really enjoyed it, lol.
He was like, quote, I typically don't like rap music because of all the dumb crap that is in it, but I like his lyrics a lot.
Send me a text with his name and that song you showed me so I can go on YouTube and check him out, smiley face.
I was so proud of myself, lol.
I didn't know I could get him onto Tom's music, but I did.
You fucking nerd.
Oh, this is embarrassing as fuck.
It's more embarrassing than even liking Tom McDonald is that you went up to your boss and you were like, oh, I hope he likes it.
Yeah.
You only know he's going to like it because of the cultural stuff.
You only know he's going to like it because he's complaining about how hard it is to be a white guy.
She was shocked that he would like it.
This guy's political.
He only likes white music.
And so I was like, I'm gonna blow his mind.
I got just the thing for it.
I like to imagine that there's somebody out there who like has never seen Tom McDonald but listens to Tom McDonald and like thinks that maybe Tom McDonald is like is black because it is rap.
And like they're really just, they're kind of going the other way with it.
They're like, you know what?
Maybe black folks aren't so bad.
I listened to this one fella, Tom McDonald, and he is just telling it like it is.
Right.
He's the model minority, I think.
Yes, I think so.
Yeah, man.
Oh, cool.
Your small business tyrant loves Tom McDonald.
Just another mark in his column.
Another reason to like that guy.
Yeah, add it to the list.
Let's move on.
That's Tom McDonald.
I don't know if we'll be hearing any more from him.
His stuff is pretty one-note.
It's again why, you know, I've waited to cover it until now.
The Facebook groups Very worth joining, in my mind.
And, you know, sometimes they're called Tom McDonald fan group or whatever.
Sometimes they're called HOG, which is short for Hangover Gang.
That's part of like his, I don't know, his own crew that he does or whatever.
So look for Hangover Gang, look for Tom McDonald.
Worth joining those groups.
Because he does booze, though.
He clearly boozes, right?
Drinks?
Yeah.
No, he's got a song that says, I don't drink.
Dang.
What is he hanging over then?
Uh, I don't know.
I think he, he used to drink.
Maybe that's a holdover.
So he knows, he knows the plight of the hangover.
I, okay.
I feel that.
Yeah.
Um, moving on, uh, we got to talk about the, the hog pillow.
Yes.
We gotta talk about the new liberal pillow that doesn't actually exist yet, but David Hogg said that it was going to exist, and that it was going to be a good pillow.
Unlike the bad pillow, he said it would be a good pillow, and it's going to have union Union workers doing the pillow and the pillow is going to be for equal rights.
That's awesome.
We can finally sleep soundly, you know?
I think it's cool that this is just how we express our politics now.
That there's a bad pillow, and the guy is so bad.
The guy is just a really bad guy with him recording a three hour deranged movie and putting it up on his own website about how he didn't like the election.
That's a bad guy.
That's a bad dude.
I'm like worried about our democracy when a guy can do that you know and luckily we have a better guy you know I'll tell him a guy he's not a kid anymore you know he's a guy now who is going to to do the good pillow and we needed it frankly I'm excited.
I want to know that when I'm going to go to sleep with somebody, that I can look at their pillow and know who I'm going to be resting with.
Yeah.
And I'm a hog guy.
I'm a hog guy.
That's that famous quote.
If you go home with somebody and you look at their pillow and it's not a hog pillow, don't fuck them.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's exactly what it is.
Yes.
Um, what is, so I'm just, I'm imagining the, the hog pillow, uh, like advertising, like how it's going to be marketed because the MyPillow marketing, I don't know what it's like now, but I think I, I, I don't remember where I told this anecdote, but I, I remember seeing the MyPillow like five years ago.
More than that, like six or seven years ago when I was still working in a warehouse, a UPS warehouse, we shipped a MyPillow and it came in this big, glossy, as-seen-on-TV style cardboard box that had a picture of Mike Lindell hugging the pillow, much the same way Donald Trump hugs the American flag.
Some say that's where he learned to hug, was from that picture.
Very of a mind, those two people.
And in that photo, you can see his, like, cross necklace pendant, like, hanging out of his shirt onto the pillow.
And I was just like, this guy's amazing.
I took a photo of it.
I posted it on my Instagram back when I had, like, you know, 30 friends on Instagram.
And I was like, yeah, this guy, this guy fucks.
Like, this guy rocks, you know?
I'm trying to picture, like, what the David Hogg... I mean, people know who David Hogg is, right?
Do I have to explain?
He's, like, the Parkland shooting survivor who became an activist and used to be less annoying and then got progressively more annoying.
You lean into the annoying, yeah.
This pillow thing kind of puts him over the edge.
I mean, it's really funny, though.
I gotta give him that.
So, I don't know how mad I am at him for this.
I'm just wondering what the, like, advertising for the hog pillow would be to, like, counter the cultural signaling of the MyPillow with the cross necklace.
And I'm imagining maybe, like, you know, a science fish necklace or something, but it's like... Oh yeah!
It's David Hogg, like, shaking hands, like a very, like, you know, friend, non-threatening, non-touching relationship with the pillow.
But he's still got, you know, a necklace that shows his beliefs, which is he believes in science.
And then maybe also the necklace is, like, Rastafarian colored for no reason.
And it's also like a pendant that tells you of your allergies.
And like you would you might try to say like hey the Rastafarian like is a religion so it that's kind of clashes with the anti-christian science fish thing that you're wearing but I think it's still a nice overture to the black community.
I think so it's a good it's a good nod it's a I like to know that they know that we exist and I know that through seeing those colors.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do you, what do you, what else do you think would be on the, like David Hogg's pillow, the Hogg pillow?
I think it's going to be like, um, I think it's going to be really clever because it is like young people.
So I think it's going to be the pillow, like the, the, the plastic around it is going to look just like the pillow, but on the back, it's going to be two hands meeting as if like under the pillow, like how you would sleep with Libby, like your lover.
And it's going to be a series of different shades of hands and, and different, obviously sexed hands.
Oh, wow.
Holding hands in the back.
But like it's gonna be cool because it's gonna be like, it's gonna be like a black hand and a white hand.
They're both like dude hands.
And there's gonna be like a white hand and like a slightly browner hand.
They're both gonna be like, you know, non-dude hands.
And there's gonna be like dude chick hands.
And there's gonna be all these hands.
Yeah, and we'll all know what gender those hands are.
And you can submit you and your partner's hand holding to be put on the bag like Jones soda.
Yeah.
I was going to do that one day.
I was totally going to do that one day.
Or like Best Friends cereal from Delocated.
There you go.
Yeah.
If they want to pay me, they can for that idea.
I honestly think, like this is me at my most cynical, I honestly think David Hogg decided to do MyPillow competitor where he explicitly said like we're going to put Mike Lindell and MyPillow out of business because they're the bad pillow.
I'm pretty sure he just did that to get back on the radar of murderous Facebook boomers.
He wasn't, like, getting enough death threats.
He wasn't getting, like, you know, AOC and Ilhan Omar, like, they were getting a little too much attention in the way of, you know, threats on their well-being.
So he decided to go after, like, I don't think there's another culture, like, Like, how could he go after Trump in the same way?
He couldn't do it.
I mean, like, it's been tough for him.
Kids aren't going to school right now.
So, I mean, like, he hasn't got a whole lot to talk about.
He had to pivot, you know?
He could try to do like an anti-Proud Boy thing or an anti-Boogaloo Boy thing, but neither of those are at the threshold or at the, what do you call it, the cultural penetration that MyPillow is at.
We've covered MyPillow now two weeks in a row.
We don't want to.
We don't do that.
We just have to.
And people also asked whether or not we're going to cover the fucking three hour movie on his website about how the election was stolen or whatever.
I can't imagine that's worth covering.
I'm sorry.
When I say worth covering, I mean like worth the three hours plus an additional three hours where I would take notes or whatever.
If people like semi-clips or if there's clips that surface, we might cover it, but then it's already been covered, probably, if there's clips that surface.
Sorry, folks.
I think we're pretty Mike Lindell'd out at this point.
I think so.
I hope that cow has been milked.
Yeah, um, this is the hog pillow we're talking about today.
It's a totally different pillow.
It's the good one.
Every time you say it, I'm picturing a small pillow just for my dick.
That was small.
It's like when you put a ring on it.
Like the kind you give people a ring on.
And it straps to my leg.
And I can kind of tuck it in.
Night.
So it's one you wear all day?
You can, but I think that might be a sin.
That's too luxurious.
That's too lavish.
Is it satin so your hairs don't cling to it?
Absolutely.
It's absolutely satin.
We found the finest faux down.
It's lovely.
Faux down?
I'm about to throw down.
Yeah, dollars on this Hog Pillow.
So I wanted to see what the libs were saying about the Hog Pillow.
They like it.
They think it's great.
They think finally somebody's going to put Mike Lindell out of business.
Oh, and I think also David Hogg was like, yeah, we're going to find like, You know, a factory with 50% men and 50% women that are union pillow factory workers, and that's how we're gonna make the pillow.
And then like, his next tweet was like, uh, we're looking for a consultant who can find a union factory for pillows for us.
Uh, my Google's broken and this shit is hard!
Um, but yeah, but all the libs love it.
They're like, I will buy the good pillow!
Now finally a pillow for me to buy that shows what my beliefs are!
I have a couple good reactions here.
Cole Stewart, in the 1 million strong for Biden-Harris Facebook group, which I think has about 3,000 members, says, Cole Stewart says, me pillow.
I think so.
I think he wants the pillow.
I think that's the pillow for him.
In the Supporting Biden-Harris Administration Facebook group, Ronnie Shedeg says, I will buy David's pillow.
So Nat has two likes.
People were supportive of that decision.
That's good.
And then... Fill it with your dollar.
Michelle Hintz Brown says, I will buy them dot dot dot dot even if they're filled with rocks.
We need a pillow guy with integrity!
And it's so true.
At no point have I not felt bad for all the existing pillow guys.
But I just feel really bad for all the countless pillow guys out there who are making good pillows and now they're just getting shit on.
Are you telling me Simmons is a bad guy?
What about Serta?
Yeah.
What about Serta?
I've heard good things.
That lamb looks so sweet.
What about the Cube?
The Pillow Cube?
What is that guy up to?
Huh?
- Huh, is that guy like a child murderer? - Yeah, it's like fucking bullshit.
Listen, you don't want to know how he turns those pillows into cubes.
It's fucked up.
I will tell you that the purple mattress people, they're pretty fucked.
There's actually kids in the purple.
I mean, that makes sense.
I mean, it's like, you know, we're not, we're not a red mattress.
We're not a blue mattress.
We're purple, right?
Just sickos from every corner of the earth.
They can still run that ad.
Yeah, so we need a pillow guy with integrity.
We've been missing that, I think, in this society.
Pillow guys, so important, and even more so, is like what, you know... I'm gonna write a rap about pillow guys, how they used to be good.
Yes.
Pillow guy, you taught me how to walk and talk.
And now I can't listen to what you say anymore.
You used to teach me how to dream and now I can't because you're too lumpy.
Lumpy pillows.
In the Joe Rogan Experience podcast group, they shared the Babylon Bee article about this incident, which is David Hogg to release line of extra-absorbent pillows for liberal tears.
Got him!
And the pillow in the thumbnail is called the Cry Pillow.
Oh, that's good.
And then it says, it's got a picture of David Hogg's face on it.
His fucking dumb little face.
I want to spank him so bad.
And then also in the thumbnail it says, guaranteed to absorb 100% of liberal tears.
So it's the same joke that's in the headline.
So that's nice.
You get to see it twice.
Now what's funny is that like, According to what they're saying is there's a lot of liberal tiers.
And this pillow's going to absorb all of them.
So they're still saying that Mr. Hogg's putting out a good product.
They're still saying he's going to put out a good product that's going to do what it says.
And that's impressive.
That's a lot of tiers.
That's true.
That is true.
You know they say that your pillows and your mattress, they double in weight over the course of a year.
Because of the sweat and detritus.
Yeah.
So imagine what you can accomplish with a hog pillow.
It's gonna be a heavy pillow.
It's gonna be a heavy pillow?
Yeah.
Then you can use it for cross-fitting.
It's gonna be so heavy that you won't be able to change the sheet anymore because you're a weak, gay snowflake.
You know?
That's true, yeah.
The pillow actually works like a young calf where you pick it up every day and before you know it, you're picking up this super heavy pillow and you're like yoked.
So you're talking about like on a farm, you just like pick up the calf every day and then pretty soon it's a cow and you're still picking it up?
Still picking it up, exactly, yeah.
Yeah.
But you're picking up, it's even heavier though because it's like you're picking up your tears and like your trauma.
This is actually a good idea.
I think this is a good pillow.
I like this absorbing cry pillow that David Hogg is putting out.
This feels like one of those Christian slash Hallmark movies where it's like the pillow oath.
Where you're going to get a divorce from your pillow.
Your pillow wants to leave the relationship.
But then your dad says, well, actually son, before you finalize a divorce with a pillow, make the pillow pact with your pillow where you have to carry it across the threshold every day for 30 days.
And then at the end of those 30 days, you're going to be really fucking buff and you can get any pillow you want at that point.
At that point you won't need it because you're in love with your pillow still.
Well, okay.
I was doing a twist on it.
So... What was I going to say here?
I think maybe, you know, if it's going to be absorbing the liberal tears.
This is also, not only is this like a threat against Mike Lindell, it's also a shot at Ben Shapiro.
Because what is he going to put in his mug to drink if all the liberal tears go into the cry pillow?
That's actually the second part of the hustle.
They're actually going to make the cry pillow juicer.
And you pass the pillow through there and it wrings it out and you can cultivate all those tears.
Liberal tear bath water.
Yes.
Yes.
So yeah, this joke here from Babylon Bee, where it's going to cry into the pillow or whatever.
We ask, why is Babylon Bee so bad at comedy?
Why do their jokes fucking suck so much?
And going through these right-wing articles and comment sections about the hog pillow, Like, everybody was just making this joke.
Oh, that it's gonna be a cry pillow.
That you're gonna cry into it because you're, you know, a pussy.
Yeah.
And...
I think it's just that Babylon Bee is, like, they know that one joke that, like, every conservative is going to make about a given, like, topic, a given news item.
They just know the one bad joke that, you know, every uncle, every, uh, every gym owner, everybody is going to make about this, and that's the cripe.
Now, they couldn't do the pillow biter joke that everybody else was making.
I saw a lot of jokes about, um, I don't think I got one here, but it was like, oh yeah, he'd be great at making a pillow.
He knows them so well, since his face is buried in one every night.
And... Fucking, that's what?
Fellas, is it gay to sleep on a pillow?
Is my first question.
I think it's gay to sleep on a bed.
I sleep on the floor.
I sleep on a hardwood floor.
Ever since I watched The Count of Monte Cristo, I insisted on sleeping on a slab of cement because I thought that that's cool.
I thought that's how that guy got to be so cool.
I didn't understand the movie that much.
I've been following you and I saw that you did just actually tear up some hardwood floor and pour a strip of concrete that you're calling your bed in a bedroom.
Actually, can you believe these motherfuckers put hardwood floor on top of perfectly good cement?
Fucking greatest generation my ass.
They don't know how to get grit if they put it right in front of you, you know?
Yeah, that was the other joke.
Oh, he knows pillows really well because he's gay.
Like, it's like, do you not sleep on, like, do you not put your head on a pillow every night, dude?
I love that.
That's incredible.
So, in the Snowflake Central Facebook group, a Facebook page called Criminal Illegal Aliens-CIA Report shared this article from NBC News about the hog pillow.
And that's just a really, so it's a very active Facebook page.
You could post as a Facebook page inside of a Facebook group.
It's a little confusing.
I prefer not to do it.
But you can do that.
It's tacky.
It's weird.
Yeah, it's off-putting.
But the name of the page is, once again, Criminal Illegal Aliens, just like criminal, illegal, filthy aliens, hyphen CIA report.
Not sure what that part is.
It's like they vaguely remembered the phrase FBI statistics and got it mixed up with CIA report.
In their defense, the CIA would call a report that.
They would.
This post had 539 laugh reacts.
People thought this was very funny that David Hogg was launching a pillow company to put MyPillow out of business.
Brandon Gunter said, No chance.
MyPillow is a fucking great pillow.
And don't get me started on the sheets!
Ooh.
Ooh, yeah, that's true.
That's true.
Don't get him started on the sheets.
That's true.
No, I'm saying like it's a good pillow I hear.
I hear like it's a solid-ass pillow.
I've heard mixed reviews.
I've seen conservatives saying it was a bad pillow.
I love the guy's politics.
I think he's perfectly sensible, individual, great guy all around.
Not a good pillow.
Does he have like, I don't know, is there like, there's a lot, I mean they have multiple, they have sheets so they must have different softnesses, firmnesses.
I hear it's just like a normal, normal ass piece of foam, you know?
Damn, wild.
They make dog beds too, so if you have like a racist dog you can buy one of those beds I think.
I do.
Yeah, like maybe you're not a bad person, but your dog is.
Yeah.
Buy them that pillow, the dog pillow.
I like, my pillow is a fucking great pillow.
My pillow is an awesome pillow, he reigns from heaven above with wit.
Like we talked about how just all of this shit is like utterly inextricably linked with religion and it's just, there you go.
Yeah.
The pillow is like the body of Christ at this point.
I mean, if you want to incorporate superstition and religion into something, I think that your sleeping is a smart place to do it.
That way your head is protected from the demons all night.
That's when you're very vulnerable and susceptible to demons.
And you spend one third of your life being susceptible to demons.
And that's why this episode is sponsored by MyPillow.
Keep those demons at bay, folks.
Now with extra demon protection.
Jonathan Quinn said, uh, so about the hog pillow, uh, Jonathan Quinn said, uh, it will be stuffed with semen filled tissues.
Don't buy pillows from a high school kid.
Well, well, he, uh, he, uh, not high school anymore.
And according to all your friends, he fucks all the time.
Like not the way you like, but he does fuck a lot.
I don't think he really needs to like jerk off in a tissues according to your friends.
I think they just think gay people get fucked.
Like, it's the straight guy who is fucking the gay kid.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
So, like, he might cum, but it's gonna be in a tissue.
That's true.
Okay, that makes sense.
And then, naturally, you put that tissue in your pillowcase.
Mm-hmm.
That's why it's antimicrobial.
This is kind of a weird comment, I think.
So weird.
The pillow is going to be stuffed with semen-filled tissues because he's a kid.
Because he's a miner.
And that's what I think about when I hear about a miner making a product is them cumming a lot and then filling the product with their own cum.
I mean, the thing is, he's going to make a pillow still.
He could just jerk off into the vat of cotton.
I mean, I don't know, maybe it'd be still good.
Maybe it'd be soft.
Who knows, you know?
Yeah.
I just don't think Kleenex is an efficient way to go.
And it's proprietary already, you know?
Yeah.
Barry Fraser says he's still a maggot.
And I liked this response because it's like... It's like... Okay, fine.
He's gonna make a good pillow, but he'll still be a maggot.
You're like, accepting the premise that making a competitive pillow, like, would be a virtuous act, you know?
But yeah, you're not getting off that easy, Hogg.
I can see through this, this pillow ruse of yours.
You're still a maggot.
I like that.
You know, you gotta, you gotta give, gotta give respect where it's due.
Never to David Hogg.
Never.
It's a good pillow.
Good pillow.
Piece of shit person.
Good pillow.
Note to self, you never have to hand it to David Hogg.
Man, I can't think of a scenario where maggots is the word I want to use.
If you're talking to a group of Slipknot fans, that's the correct word to use.
Yes.
Among brethren.
Yeah.
Uh, finally, uh, this is just a good one.
Uh, Jason Norman says, uh, Will be made in a Chinese sweatshop.
Dot dot.
It is gender neutral.
It also smells like Hillary Clinton.
And can double as an adult diaper.
They just like, they never know when to stop.
Like, they just never know when to like...
I'm glad they didn't stop.
The diaper part?
Yeah, that's a good part of it.
Hillary Clinton's like sulfur, right?
Does she smell like sulfur?
I don't want to say what she would smell like.
Or is that just Obama?
Yeah.
I don't want to say what she would smell like to them.
Is there a canon for what she's supposed to smell like?
No, I think it would just be like a misogynistic portrayal of what women smell like.
It would be a gross thing to say on the podcast.
I don't think I want to say it.
But that's, I think, what they would say about Hillary Clinton.
They would say that gross thing that is so gross.
You know what?
I heard you might say it on a Patreon episode one day.
Let us know how it goes.
They would say she smells like a nasty pussy or something.
You know what I mean?
That's what they would say.
I like that they think David Hogg's pillow is going to be gender neutral.
Yeah.
That he's going to go out of his way.
He's going to do a performative, he's going to do a virtue signaling gender neutral pillow.
Like, instead of the normal pillow that we all know that's either colored blue or pink and has a little bow on it, he's gonna do- Yeah, you either get the bow or the flannel.
Yeah, he's gonna do one with, uh, it's gonna be white with, like, black letters in the center that says, uh, everyone is welcome.
Yes.
To this pillow.
Or something.
I don't know.
Like, what would be a gender neutral pillow?
Like, I can't even possibly think of one.
It's such an outrageous idea.
Well, I'm having a harder time thinking of a gendered pillow.
These are not decorative pillows.
These are like pillows that go in cases.
These are like white, off-white, maybe some sort of trim pillow.
Yeah.
No.
Okay.
So the pillow for the man, it's going to be harder, firmer.
Duck cloth.
I'm going to make it with duck cloth.
Yeah.
It's going to have duck cloth.
It's going to be firmer for our heavier heads.
That's filled with knowledge.
Uh, the lady pillow, um, it's going to have lace.
Like it's going to have a lot of like just on the pillow itself.
Like before you even put a cape on it.
It's going to be a sexy pillow.
Oh, it's going to be super sexy.
It's going to have a thong on it.
Yep.
Yep, yep.
It's only gonna fit one pillowcase and the pillowcase is just like one of those 80s style thongs that go all the way up like three quarters of the pillowcase.
Yeah, yeah.
And there's a little divot for the neck that also kind of looks like a butt crack or boobs.
There's a spot where you can put a corsage on the pillow.
Trying to think of what else, what else it would have.
It would have Place for high heels.
You put high heels on the pillow.
You kick those up for a little more elevation.
So, I just can't think of what a gender-neutral pillow would look like.
That'd be weird.
That'd be so weird.
Creepy.
And it can double as an adult.
Like, what's the adult diaper joke?
Like, he's a pee-pee poo-poo boy?
Yeah.
Like, I don't know.
Oh, they do.
Oh, I know what it's from.
There are memes of just David Hogg in diapers.
Just like there were memes of Obama in thuggies instead of huggies.
Just like there were memes of Donald Trump in diapers where he's a baby and pooping his diapers.
That's a good joke that we like to do about our political figures.
You know, I heard that adult diapers are not even a real thing and that they're actually just, they're only kept in business for like 40 birthday parties.
That's the only reason why that happens.
Yeah.
And Spencer's gifts.
They're not like a real thing that some people need, you know, for medical issues or anything like that.
They're just a funny joke that we say to own politicians.
Yeah.
Yeah, so, wow, what a high note to end this episode on.
Thank you so much for listening, folks.
If you like the show, give us a good rating, you know, on iTunes or in your podcast app.
We appreciate it.
I didn't hear what you said there.
So we appreciate that.
Yeah.
You can write to us at MinionDeathCult at gmail.com.
Support the show, patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult, where we do a bonus episode every week.
Good stuff on there.
It's just like this normal episode, and you will get it delivered straight into your podcast app.
So, uh, I think that's it, right Tony?
Sure is!
Okay, uh, bye everybody.
Bye.
Bye.
Talkin', I know listenin' See you tryna stuff a quote, but all my niggas know it's ween This shit for my next of kin Smokin' till I'm level-head, this chip up on my shoulder Grindin' harder than I ever been Ain't no time to hesitate, see that shit I'm finna take It's tunnel vision to the plate I done put the work and paved the path for all my people.
Where it's greener on the other side.
Tired of seeing my momma cry.
Hate to see my niggas hungry.
Boy, I'm tryna feed the clan.
Structure, execute the plan.
Fuck about faith.
I'm getting mines by any means, nigga.
Told you we gon' eat, nigga.
Bitches told me I ain't shit.
My family, I can see the doubt.
But I can't let my momma down.
This shit be bigger than me, nigga.
Piss on your way.
Can I be saved?
Put y'all niggas in place.
If y'all speak on the name, it's for a native to gain.
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