This week we cover the results of the presidential election from every angle: Liberals doing race science to discredit Cuban voters The tragic demise of classic MDC subjects like Terrence K Williams, Candace Owens, and Adam Calhoun and, a new level of derangement from the MAGA facebook commentator Support the show and get a bonus episode every week at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Music: mewithoutYou - A Glass Can Only Spill What It Contains
I think... I try to say this too often, but I think this one's gonna be a good one.
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
The universe really gave us a layup here.
Yeah, when I say democracy is responsible for the world ending, don't misconstrue that as me thinking a general election with an electoral system and voter suppression and a pandemic and all that sort of thing is actually democracy.
Um, but it is what, uh, like, 50% of the cou- well, that's what a lot of people in the country think, but at least, like, you know, 49% of them do not like what they think is democracy.
No.
No.
So, maybe if we showed them, like, that what we have right now isn't democracy, that we live in a constitutional republic, uh, they'll side with us and agree that it's bad.
Yeah.
I mean, we've been screaming it for years.
I don't know why people didn't listen.
If we ever had further proof that we live in a constitutional republic, this is it.
How many times do we have to tell you people?
Constitutional republics just don't work.
They just don't.
They haven't for hundreds of years.
We've got a lot of content to get through today.
Some people were looking forward to this episode, and we do not intend to disappoint.
Uh, for obvious reasons, and I think I'll let, uh, I'll let M. McMahon here, uh, give the news for us, who says, Biden won the largest vote in history and from the most diverse groups in history.
This is a total repudiation of Trump.
Part of me worries that he was trying to do sticky caps and wanted to attach the Spongebob meme, but he just did it wrong.
But no, this is passion.
This is passion about a very important, pivotal moment in American history.
I think it's both passion and technique.
I think it's both.
It's the rare example of both.
Occupying the same spot.
Yeah.
Biden won the largest vote in history and from the most diverse groups in history.
Uh, this is a total repudiation of Trump.
Yeah.
Trump's, Trump's gone now.
And when I say now, I mean, uh, in about a month and a half or two, two and a half months.
Uh, and when I say gone, I just mean, uh, he'll be in a different place.
Yeah.
He would just move to another building.
Yeah.
Probably close by, I wonder.
I wonder if he's made a move on something like that.
That's going to be interesting to see.
Oh, you know what?
They are.
They're just going to shuffle him right over to K Street and he's going to become a lobbyist for some corporation.
And you know, and that corporation will, that industry will benefit from his knowledge of the government and the way it works.
And it's just this never ending cycle that we really have to put a stop to.
He's just going to do $16 million speeches.
For banks.
Trump would be the only former president I would ever pay to hear speak.
I think you might be getting your money's worth if, like, you know, a school paid him to come speak.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're gonna get something.
You're gonna get something.
Like, you will probably learn something new.
You'll learn something new about, like, the behaviors of a famous 80s TV actor that you never knew about.
Or you'll learn something about a Broadway performer, and Trump's gonna give you all the details about that guy.
It is going to be interesting now that he really has nothing to lose, how he's going to go.
I hope he writes a memoir.
I need a tell-all memoir, but not even about the presidency.
It's going to be about everything around, not even remotely involving that.
I want that.
I don't like that idea because he's definitely not going to be the one to write it.
I want him to do his news network thing so that he can tell us about it.
We know it's him.
He's not gonna actually write a fucking book.
It's just gonna be, you know, ghostwritten.
And it would probably be pretty nasty.
I don't think you'd get the pure Trump there.
So I want to shout out Lucy Dallas on Twitter for sending me that wonderful news as relayed by M McMahon.
So thank you so much for that.
With this news, I'm so glad we waited, you know, to really cover the general election.
The top of the ticket, the main event, right?
The headliners.
I'm glad we waited for this because we have so much to talk about.
First, I just wanted to talk about the liberal response.
Uh, to the election in general.
Um, you know, most of it is like, you know, God, I can finally like breathe a sigh of relief.
Now, now I'm the NYPD.
I can breathe.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Oh God.
Yeah.
And that, you know, of course sucks.
Uh, There's, you know, a lot of people who just didn't like Trump and, like, wanted to see him get owned, which I identify with.
I think that's cool.
Yeah.
Like, I'm happy for people like my grandma, who's, like, was spending the last, you know, decade she has on this planet just watching MSNBC and, like, pulling her nails out and just, like, worried that she was gonna see the rise of another fascist dictator, like Mussolini, where she's from, you know?
Yeah.
In real time now.
I'm happy.
I'm happy for that, you know, those folks or whatever.
But there's a couple more strains of liberals that are just so fascinating and disturbing, upsetting.
We talked about a couple of them on the Patreon episode.
One of them is this Brienne of Snark.
Best name.
And it's Brienne of Snark underscore.
So she wasn't even the first Brienne of Snark on Twitter.
But I mean, she got the profile pic on everything?
She did get the profile pic.
She didn't have to put an underscore in the avatar.
She was the first one to get that profile pic.
Is that Groot on Brienne of Snark's shoulder?
Nah, it's... A little Groot?
Yeah, nah, they got like a teardrop head or something.
It's like Wet Willie in a suit of armor.
Yes!
I don't know what that shit is, right?
That's actually not what Wet Willie with a suit of armor would look like, but I'll draw that later.
Uh... Brann of Snark, who's like I think a big account.
I think she's got like tens of thousands of followers.
I hope so.
She said... So this is um...
Should I?
This is from a few days ago, but it's still so good.
Brianna Snark says, America gave Cubans a home to escape a dictator, and they came here and voted for another one?
Fuck each and every one of you.
So wild.
That infamous Snark.
She lived up to her name.
Boy, that's snarky as fuck.
Hey, how dare all you Cubans vote for a racist?
Hey Cubans?
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Every one of you.
Incredible.
Yeah, so this is just somebody who just doesn't know anything about politics.
They're looking at brown people, and they're like, how could you vote Republican?
You're brown, you're a Cuban, so you come here, so you vote for Democrats.
That's what happens with brown people, right?
It's the super old tale of the minority monolith, you know?
That for some reason, liberals can't get past.
When liberals start losing, this is just one state, of course she's referring to Florida, and Joe Biden losing Florida, and a lot of liberals were trying to point at, no, go away.
A lot of liberals are trying to point at socialism and the left for the reason that Biden lost Florida, you know, of which the Cuban population makes up only something like 20% of the Latino population, if you want to categorize, if you want to try to fit them into that subcategory.
And we were getting, like, think pieces about how Obama's hope poster was too communist And that's why Joe Biden lost Florida.
I want that to be... I want this all to be Shepard Fairey's fault.
That would make me so happy.
Everything bad is actually Shepard Fairey's fault.
Yeah, what Shepard Fairey planned with that Communist Hope poster was getting the most popular president elected twice by Florida
Just so it would facilitate the rise of Trump who could show Florida like what what they always wanted which was an authoritarian strongman much in the vein of Castro, you know not because he like Helped people get universal health care or education or you know, like a standard of living or anything like that But just because he's like bad You know?
He's bad.
He's evil.
And then when Biden tries to run, people are like, oh, oh, I remember that Obama hope poster.
Yep.
Pretty smooth, sis.
I mean, they might've been a little confused because like that same stylization of art had like, you know, women holding guns, um, Chuck D, uh, you know, Iggy Pop.
They saw all those shirts too and they thought it was all one thing.
This is all, you know, this is all one communist regime.
Women holding guns is inherently right-wing because it's like, you know, you see, you see a woman and she's got some letters like on her, on her jacket.
You don't understand what those letters mean.
It's, they're not important because they're not for people who can read.
All right.
They're for right-wing men to put up on their walls in their garage and jerk off to.
Yeah.
I just watched Jackie Brown last night again and they have that whole scene with the women who love guns and it's like babes in bikinis shooting guns but they're also like talking about the gun and it's like educational and cool.
Yeah exactly.
Then Brienne said later the tweet was deleted and she said I'm deleting a tweet but the fact is that anyone who votes against democracy in favor of authoritarianism should fuck off.
Especially if they're this one section of brown people.
Yeah, and it's just, it's funny because, like, libs really only have the racism button.
Because, like, they're not going to do, you know, universal healthcare.
They're not going to do, you know, card check.
They're not gonna abolish the police or anything like that.
They don't have anything to offer, so they turn instantly to either becoming more conservative or vote-shaming.
Right?
That's what they instantly turn into, turn to, and fortunately you can do both of those just by doing racism.
You can say, we need to reach out To moderates, we need to reach out to, you know, people in the Midwest.
And how do we do that?
Well, we become more bigoted.
We stop talking about Black Lives Matter.
We stop talking about trans people.
They don't like that kind of stuff.
Or, when a brown person does something that's inappropriate for them to do, you know, just smash that racism button again!
But use it for vote-shaming this time.
Well, the whole thing about, like, not being racist is like, you know, why should they help us out if we're not gonna, you know, help them out?
Like, if we can't help ourselves, you know, why can't, you know, why can't, why would they help us out?
I should be excited to vote for a law and order democrat.
I get the best of both worlds.
I shouldn't be worried about it if I'm not doing crimes, right?
Right.
I mean, did those kids in cages break the law?
I mean, by definition.
Nobody made them come here.
They could have left whenever they wanted.
I just don't know why we're, like, giving a second thought to Cubans who are, in fact, the Russians of the Atlantic.
Yeah.
And somebody responded and said, Your tweet was valid, though.
She said, yeah, it was.
I just didn't feel like a whole day of watching the left focused on me.
So yeah, I know it was valid.
I'm just a coward.
I just want somebody to do the work now of posting the screen grab and shaming me elsewhere so it's not directly on my timeline.
You know, the fuck you Cubans for voting for a right-wing guy?
What the fuck are you?
What are you guys thinking?
You guys are stupid, huh?
What's the IQ over in Cuba, huh?
You know?
I thought that was one of the worst takes I saw.
Yeah, it was pretty bad.
Just so deaf.
This James L. Brooks tweet is pretty awful in its own right.
James L. Brooks, executive producer for The Simpsons, beloved producer in Hollywood, behind extremely well-beloved films, tweeted out, Is there anything sweeter than a democracy, after being manhandled, dusts herself off, asserts her strength, and strides on to meet a new and better day?
Way to go, gorgeous!
Man, man.
I want this to be a monologue for a Simpsons-like character who is a lib dipshit.
And I want it read in that tone.
I don't want this to be real.
Well, I don't know.
I found it heartwarming.
I've always said that James L. Brooks is the heart of The Simpsons.
Anyone who listens to the commentary has read up on The Simpsons.
James L. Brooks was the guy they would call in when they had trouble finding a sweet note to end an episode on.
Like the episode where Bart poses as The hockey player, uh, Gordie Howe.
Yeah.
To write Edna as a, like, what do you call it?
Not a pen pal, but like a romantic one, you know?
Yeah.
Write her romantic letters up, but then he gets into in, you know, over his head and he has to break up with her and they're trying to figure out how, how to do it.
And James L. Brooks is the one who came up with, um, oh yeah, I, uh, I got raped.
Um, but I'm going to, I'm going to straighten my shirt and keep my chin up and, uh, go out and, and meet a new day.
Is that how that ends?
He puts it in every episode.
He sneaks this sentiment in this tweet.
In every episode.
Sometimes it's in the chalkboard gag.
Sometimes it's on a sign in the background.
You know, way to go gorgeous!
Wow.
It's always there though.
I love that.
But I love this whole thing about like, oh, democracy finally did good.
Like there's just been this huge denial that democracy is also what got Trump into office.
Well, it just depends on if you want to accept it as democracy.
I would say that America's never been a democracy.
I mean, that's a cliche thing to say.
But we're talking about it in the terms they're talking about.
I think every one of these libs would say that the Electoral College is not democratic.
Okay, yeah, that's true.
Every one of these people would say, you know, well, Hillary got more votes.
Which is true, but you have done nothing to challenge the system as it currently stands, so whatever.
Fuck you.
Campaign in Michigan next time.
No, I mean, it's just, you know, the cringe-lib thing of, like, you know, the Statue of Liberty, like, clutching her tattered clothes to her while Donald Trump walks away, like, tightening his tie and whistling a tune.
It's very cool.
Yeah.
I don't know, it's like, it's the equivalent of, like, You know, you need to give a woman agency in a film or give her a reason to, like, get revenge or stand up for herself.
And it's just, oh, rape.
Let's do rape again.
And it's the same thing for democracy.
But at least he ends it on a positive note.
Way to go, gorgeous.
So brave.
Democracy's so brave.
I think it's cool to use, like, an assault, a sexual assault, a gendered sexual assault metaphor, but then you're one of the good ones, so you're calling her gorgeous.
Like, you don't care that she's been manhandled.
You don't care that she's damaged goods at this point.
You still think she's, uh, she's, whew, pretty hot.
I think she's hot.
Um, by far the worst liberal response.
Was in our replies.
Jesus Christ.
I posted the Brad Tromel comic of John McCain handing the state of Arizona to us, the viewers.
Uh-huh.
And saying, here America, I got you something.
Please don't open it until I'm gone.
And then RBG's in the background saying, honey, come back to bed.
I posted that one.
People don't know Brad Trammell yet.
I mean, thousands of people know and respect Brad Trammell, but not everybody, so.
Not enough.
People don't know that that one's fake or it's, you know, it's a good...
If not, I don't know, fake's not the right word.
It's a good, like, he channeled, you know, the forces of liberalism in order to make that comic, I think, is a better way to... It's satirical.
He's a conduit.
He's not faking anything, like, that's the genuine sentiment, you know, that he's just channeling through his pen.
Somebody responded with a far more sincere comic, however, which is an anthropomorphic ballot box.
You know, it's like a cube with a face and arms and legs coming out of it and a slot in the top.
Yeah, which is the only thing that like indicates that's what it is is the slot on top.
We all kind of knew what it is though.
Yeah, you didn't even have to say ballot on the side.
The ballot box has Trump pinned face down and he's kneeling on Trump's neck.
And Trump says, I can't breathe.
And coming out of Trump's neck, the ground side, is either a stream of blood going down the drain or just one of Trump's infamous long red ties.
I think it's a long red tie.
But yeah, this illustration's incredible.
Either way, got him.
God is ass.
Because either he's bleeding from the neck and you're killing him with your vote or you're just making fun of how long his tie is.
I love this.
I love it too.
This would have been better if...
You know, once he got the results, instead of not succeeding, if he, like, had a heart attack or stroke, something that caused death.
Yeah.
Um, because, like, that's how this scenario ends.
Um, you know, that's what the, it's, this, this illustration's, you know, mocking that very real scenario that's happened time and time again in America.
And that's how that scenario ends.
So it just sucks that, like, they're going to this length and Trump's, like, not even gonna die.
Well, I think, you know, that's what we do in this country is, you know, a lot of these criminals that the cops are killing, they're drug addicts, right?
So if we're going to kill them, we should kill Drumph, who's definitely like sniffing something, you know?
He's definitely on it.
We should kill all the drug addicts evenly, I feel.
I think so, equal opportunity drug addict killings.
I didn't know that killing Trump was on the ballot.
I would have voted for that one.
No.
It's in the fine print.
What's in the fine print?
Just by writing his name and you're killing him?
Or by writing Joe Biden's name?
If you want him dead, you actually have to prick your thumb and you put a thumbprint over his name in your blood.
And they count those thumbprints.
And if they get enough, it's like 27, then they have to kill him.
Hmm.
But no one talks about it, so it didn't really happen.
Yeah.
I used my wrong thumb.
I used my left thumb.
It didn't count.
Let's just hope he's on the ballot again, 2024.
I think that's our best chance.
You can write him in.
You can write him in and put your thumb over it still.
Okay.
I would have voted for that one.
And I feel like if we really did live in a democracy, that fine print would be bigger.
People would know, like, what their choices were.
This is, of course, like, Reprehensible, possibly one of the most reprehensible, I mean not possibly one of the, it's either the most or it's definitely one of the most reprehensible political cartoons I've ever seen.
It's insane.
It's like the not funny version of that political cartoon that was airliners labeled vote heading toward the Twin Towers which were like labeled Trump or ballot box or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, that was good.
That one was good.
This one, not so much, man.
I don't know which is worse.
Oh, I hate it.
Liberals thinking that voting for Biden is like murdering Trump, who's of course going to be okay and live a long and happy life.
Maybe not happy, but a long and privileged life after he exits the White House.
Or whether it's like thinking that... I don't know, this is like revenge or payment?
Repayment for the death of Floyd?
Like I...
There's so, there's fucking, oh my god.
Yeah.
What I hate about this is like, this makes it look like this is how you take care of a problem.
This is how we take care of problems.
You handcuff them, put your, put your knee on their neck to take care of that problem.
But like, any, any time, honestly, any time like a lib even brings up something that's even adjacent to, um, police brutality, specifically Black Lives Matter, um,
It's, like, so insulting because the same people who, like, let this comic happen are the same people who pushed the Biden-Harris ticket, which is, like, the most insulting thing that they could have done to black America right ahead of this comic.
This comic's right behind that.
Did you see that tweet that was like, quote, Kamala Harris locked up my uncle.
And then it was like, yeah, but did he do it though?
Was he guilty though?
And it's like the sassy gif.
Oh, I hate it.
You know what you would hate even more is if you looked at that person's pinned tweet, which is about prison abolition.
No, shut up.
So it's Black Lives Matter.
It's like, it's all that shit, dude.
God damn it.
It's so wild.
That shit's so wild.
Like, I don't know.
Are we going down the Kamala Train, like, later?
Because, yeah, that shit's insane.
Uh, I don't know.
Um... Yeah, just people talking about how, like, oh, my little girl's excited about Kamala.
Like, look at this.
That could be you.
Like, she's the first.
She nailed so many firsts.
It's incredible.
She's the first black woman.
She's the first Indian American.
She brought in the first Jewish spouse.
Like, she's just crushing it.
But it's just like... It's like...
She's awful.
She's so fucking awful.
And they're finding all these reasons to be like, but check her out though.
This could be you.
You saw she was wearing Chucks, right?
Oh shit, that's true.
Honestly though, if they would have been like the high top 70s, like the high top retro version, the one that's like, it's like $10 more, but it's worth that $10.
If they would have been those ones, I probably would have been more into, but they were like the low top new ones, those like slim cut ones.
I don't like those.
If they were... Dude, she was on a sneaker shopping show.
Where the sneaker shopping show they go sneaker shopping and like the celebrity spent some obscene amount of money on something and she talks about her shoe taste and her shoe taste was really stupid I couldn't watch the whole thing but what she did was she bought a bunch of Chucks she donated like 75 pairs of Chucks to some like charity but I'm like wait 75 pairs of Chucks is like not impressive if you're Trying to be the Vice President of the United States.
Yeah, she should have donated 75 pairs of Toms.
That way, actually it was 150 pairs.
Yeah.
She's so fucking lame.
I hate it.
I don't care about Chucks.
If she had shown up to like one of the debates wearing the slip-on checkerboard Vans, but the checkerboards, the white part of the checkerboard was like colored in hot pink with a magic marker.
She would have got my vote.
Something written on the side of the sole?
Yeah, if it said, like, on the side of the sole, if it said, like, Etnies, Emerica, Blind, other shoe companies, other skateboard companies, and then, like, also there's, like, a Marilyn Manson with, like, the Lightning Bolt logo in there, too.
Hell yeah.
Forget about it.
Honestly, the best Kamala take I saw, though, was a fake note from Michelle to Kamala somehow.
And it was like, it was like, uh, like, hey sweetheart, the spices up on this, let me keep the spices on this shelf.
Like, they'll never find it.
Yeah, we stashed it behind mayonnaise.
Yeah.
And it's just like, You think either one of these people were cooking in the White House?
I would love to see a Kamala's recipe book.
You better believe that they're in there bossing the white chef around.
Telling him what spices his mayo ass needs to cook.
It's going to be so wild when she does have the thing when she's on Good Morning America.
And she's going to be like, well, you see, I'm a, I'm black and Indian.
So we're going to make some curried fried chicken.
And all she's going to do is just like fry some chicken and put some curry in the flour mix and be like, I grew up eating this.
And it's like, they didn't.
That's it for the lib takes.
Uh...
I think it's time to move on to the main event, which is the cope section of this episode.
We got two categories of cope in here.
I got a couple off the top, and then we're going to get into some heavy hitters, and then we're going to get into some of the hoi polloi, some of the Facebook folks, and how they're responding to their world basically ending.
Their world, their entire world, the people who were like empty enough to make Trump their personality, to make Trump their profession.
We fortunately always started the show, started this show not about Trump, but about people who really like Trump.
And those people are always going to exist, even if Trump's not president.
Those people are always going to exist, especially on social media.
So our grift isn't going anywhere.
We're good.
We're solid. - Yeah.
This one I just randomly pulled off Instagram.
It was pretty funny.
It was, I think, in like the Breitbart comment section on Instagram.
MotoFur says, every single journalist, every single quote news outlet, Love it.
that goes along with magical ballots appearing for Biden, is complicit in supporting ballot fraud, subverting our elections, and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Love it.
Because I don't know if you knew this, but the media doesn't control this stuff, man.
The media can't just be...
They're criminals...
They're pushing this along.
They're enabling this.
This is bad.
They should all be punished.
I saw a video... I didn't know this until I saw the video.
I saw a video where somebody was like...
Doing commentary over CNN and They were pointing to like the bottom Like graphic at the bottom where the Chiron would normally be with like, you know breaking news or whatever.
They just had the vote tallies and they were saying these numbers at the bottom here this graphic this image this image is made by CNN and This is not an official source.
This was put here by CNN.
Which is something I didn't know.
Yeah, that's huge.
That's good to know.
They can put whatever they want there.
I think they're just guessing.
I think these fucking coastal elites at CNN and MSNBC, they're like, you know, well if I were in Wisconsin and there were, you know, 55 million of me voting in Wisconsin, I would say probably like, you know, 35,463,000 etc.
35,463,000, et cetera, would have voted for Biden.
And that's how they do these things.
But the other ones of me would have voted for Trump.
Right, and that's something you have to, you know, be fair about.
Yeah, right.
You know, these guys.
So you learn something.
Even when you're doing this show to make fun of people, you learn something sometimes.
This was another one of my favorite takes.
It's just a random guy on Twitter, not really a heavy hitter, but he is verified.
Robert J. O'Neill, who's like a military guy.
He's like a, you know, like a Marine, right?
Yeah.
A devil dog.
His at is McHoo-yah, which is kind of like the Marine thing, I guess.
He says... That's for the Irish.
It's for the Irish Marines.
He tweets, I cannot believe that we invaded Iraq for these fucking people.
Dot dot dot.
Is he talking about like other Americans?
He's talking about Biden voters.
All those Biden voters he invaded Iraq for.
Good thing they invaded- I can't believe we saved these people from Iraq.
Well, jokes on him, I got out of this deal, I got both an Iraq invasion and my favorite president, Joe Biden.
Joe Biden?
Sucker.
Joey B. Loser.
You're the loser and the sucker that Trump was talking about.
You invaded Iraq for me.
Dumbass.
I love that.
I love that so much.
I didn't even go to Iraq.
I made you do it for me, bitch.
I remember protesting the war in Iraq and they came up to me and said, this hurts me more, a lot more than it hurts you.
You know, I'm doing this for you.
That's gotta be such a cool feeling to like be so stupid to think that like you invaded Iraq for America, for like Americans, and then also like hate the Americans that you invaded Iraq for.
That's gotta, that's like, that's like such a rotten, uh, existence.
It's a rotten place to be in, I think.
I wanted to write a script where a guy is just saying you're welcome under his breath all the time.
And they're like, what?
And he's always saying nothing.
But then one day he just snaps.
And lets him know that, you know, I went to war.
I went to Iraq.
I killed children for you.
And I never hear thank you.
I never hear anything.
Just give me more.
Just stop being a racist.
People get mad at me.
That's the thing, because I never... Have you seen Aladdin?
The original movie Aladdin?
Which one?
I've seen both, yes.
The original cartoon Aladdin.
Yes.
Also the television series.
Yes.
Remember when... What's his name?
Aladdin?
Says to Genie, he's like...
I bet you couldn't even get us out of this cave.
Yeah, tricked his ass, got his ass.
Yeah, and Genie gets, like, you know, what's that, like, uh, you know, insecure or whatever?
He gets defensive.
Yeah.
And so he gets him out of the cave.
He's like, alright, you got two wishes left.
And Aladdin's like, I never even wished for that shit.
Dumbass.
Yeah.
Fucking idiot.
It's the same thing with us and Robert O'Neill.
We actually never told you to go over there and kill children.
Yeah.
We got you to do that for free.
So now, we don't even have to say thank you for killing the children over there and giving their progeny birth defects and stuff like that.
Oh, what are you going to do if I don't say thank you?
Are you going to bring them back to life?
Yeah, so that's cool.
That guy fucking sucks.
Sucks so bad.
Okay.
I love this section of this episode because now we're getting to like the meat and potatoes of Minion Death Cult here.
Candace Owens, one of the first grifters that came across our timelines, you know, the MDC timeline.
Candace Owens tweeted, When the turkeys realize they just voted for Thanksgiving, they will pray for an Owens ticket in 2024.
And she means like a presidential ticket.
Yeah.
I stand with Donald Trump.
I stand against the state media.
Like, again, that Trump is presumably in control over right now?
Yeah.
I stand with our troops, law enforcement, and against the socialism that is attempting to anchor on the shores of America.
Coming from overseas.
It's definitely immigrants, yeah.
It's definitely the rash of immigrants coming from all those communist countries.
Somebody, like, said, you know, oh, I predict a Candace Owens 2024 presidential run, and her response wasn't like, oh, we'll see, you know, or I'm thinking about it.
It was, you sheep are going to be praying for me to run for president once half of you have been slaughtered.
I love, well, turkeys.
It is Thanksgiving.
We're keeping it festive.
We're keeping it seasonal.
Fuck!
We're keeping, you know, you know, we love, we love, we love some Thanksgiving around here, so we're gonna keep the turkeys.
Like, I, I love, like, how, how, it's, it's, Savior, like, like, what is this complex?
We, remember when we first discovered her?
She was a bit, she was big, but now she's fucking huge.
Like, I never thought she would be as big as her forehead, and here we are.
Yeah, this person is like, you're gonna hope I save you.
You're gonna hope for a savior.
That is me, Candace Owens.
This is like shit that I don't even think Kanye said.
No.
Kanye was like, yeah, I'm running for president.
But I don't even think he said like, you're gonna be begging me on your hands.
You're gonna be praying to God that I run for president.
I mean, maybe if he had a free shoes program, give me some goddamn Yeezys.
Yeah, this is just cool.
You don't sound desperate or unhinged or anything like that.
They will pray for my presidency.
Her new profile picture, I guess it's for her book or something like that, it's just pre-ordered today, coming soon anyways, but it's just her face floating in a black background and it's so weird.
It is this like, um, this cult of personality.
It looks like Orwellian.
Icon.
It looks very Orwellian, yeah.
It's, it's, it's great.
Watch this space.
Watch Carousel.
Let's see how she rocks the script.
We are all, of course, praying for an Owens 2024 ticket.
Genuinely.
I want it so bad.
I really do actually want that.
Yeah, I would love that.
I think that would be cool.
I think that's the only way we're gonna get her to drop a hard R on stage.
I promise to never take fascism across our borders like Hitler did.
I promise to keep it all inside.
Keep it right here.
Keep it contained.
Focus it inward.
I mean, we might have to build some sort of roadway between here and Alaska, but that's it.
So, another just amazing response to the Biden win, the presumed Biden win, comes from our boy Terrence K. Williams.
Boy.
Terrence.
Another just early subject of Minion Death Cult, somebody that we've had our eye on for a long time, somebody that we appreciated long before he became so mainstream.
I'm so proud of him.
He's really come to become a leader.
He's a leader now.
I love it.
Let's hear what he has to say.
There it is.
Y'all just don't get it, do y'all?
It's so cute.
Y'all so silly.
Y'all so silly listening to the media.
Y'all really believe CNN?
Y'all really believe fake news, CNN, and fake news, Fox News?
The media don't get to decide who the president is.
There it is.
The media don't get to certify who the president is.
Certified president.
That's so cute.
Y'all thought, oh, y'all really thought this was over.
So this is what the media is not telling you, dumb.
Because y'all so dumb.
This is what the media is not telling you, okay?
The media is not telling you that the president, that President Trump has figured out that they have been fraudulent in this election, which y'all don't see.
This is what the media is not telling you.
Dude. - Every time I watched it I thought I was like I thought I was hitting my screen and going backwards and it was like skipping back and like playing over again.
TK Dubs is the master of taking 45 seconds and making it last 3 minutes.
It's beautiful.
The TK Dubs promise is that you'll never have to use the rewind 10 seconds feature on your video player.
Just stand by, you will hear it again.
Oh, y'all so silly!
Did you think you weren't silly?
How many times did you say what the media doesn't tell you is because you're so stupid in like the first third of that video?
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
Oh, this ain't over.
You thought this was over, did you?
It's not over.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
This ain't over.
Oh, you thought it was over, huh?
Well, I'm here to tell you this ain't over.
Well, I mean, but, you know, just, just to kind of give you a little behind, behind the magic, a little behind the wall.
You know, I was, I was telling Alex when I was going to do my, when I did my react video to that.
Well, they don't even know.
Tony did a beautiful You deserve it.
amazing reaction video to terrence k williams video that we just watched which i mean i think it's some of our finest i'm taking partial credit for i think it's some of our finest work uh period um this is something that tony had mentioned like a long time ago about doing a classic react bit uh in the vein you know somebody were influenced by who is terrence k williams uh huge influence learning from the master
you know this is i believe tony has finally snatched the fly uh from terrence k williams outstretched palm i I believe that that's what's happened with the video that he made, which you can see on our Facebook or on Twitter.
It's beautiful.
But, you know, the whole thing with TK Dubb is that what he does is so effortless and so flawless.
When I was doing this, I was going to do my reaction video, and I was watching this thinking, how am I going to react to this thing I've never seen before?
I mean, it's a reaction video.
And I told Alex, I said, Alex, this is hard.
This is not easy.
It was very difficult to get into that headspace, and I admire the masterwork that is Terrence K. Williams.
There's no one like him.
What was the hardest part about it, do you think?
Just being able to process what he does, the way he does it, and not be overwhelmed with emotion.
That's really what it was, was to be able to lock in and focus on my reaction rather than be taken over by raw emotion.
Because you can't let the car drive you.
It's dangerous.
That's fair.
I feel like maybe you're being a little humble.
I'm a big fan of Terrence K. Williams' reaction videos where he drinks a soda while watching himself on Fox News.
Or where he eats some chicken or something like that.
I've never seen Terrence K. Williams rip a bong, eat chicken, and drink red wine all in one video.
In the span of one minute.
Like I saw you, Tony, do that, Tony.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I mean, I was really using cheap tricks, much like in a rap video where they have bigger jewelry than they would use regularly and nicer cars.
I really pulled out all the stops.
Good weed, good wings, natural reds.
Vegan wings, no less.
Vegan wings, yes.
From Loving Hut, so good.
It was funny, they looked so good that I was like, man, I hope no one thinks I'm selling out for this.
But man, those bad boys, Schmack, they're so good.
They're so fucking good.
Shout out Loving Hut.
Shout out the cult that is Loving Hut.
Yeah, shout out.
Terrence K. Williams, just generally not having a good time.
He's, I think like a lot of people, have Watching his grift slip away in real time.
Watching the reason for his existence be democratically ousted.
Basically a bunch of people got together and decided Terrence K. Williams shouldn't have a job anymore.
Like, the same way that Washingtonians looked at Culp, whatever that dude's name is, the guy running against the governor, Jay Inslee.
They looked at that guy and they were like, not only do we not want you to be governor, we also want you to be jobless entirely, so we're also closing the police station where you work.
So good.
So good.
That's one of the best stories ever.
Fired the one cop.
You know, honestly?
I really need a TK pivot.
I need to see what he gets into next.
I want it for him.
I'm going to miss those beady eyes.
He needs to stick around.
I definitely can't wait for the book to come out.
The book might already be out and I think that might be a live read.
I think the book is out.
I think that might be something we cover on this show.
Because I've been having trouble finding time to do the live reads on YouTube between this and my job.
And I still think it needs to be covered.
I think that might be an episode.
Stay tuned.
I think so.
I think we might be on something there.
Just in real quick, Terrence is doing so many good tweets.
Like, oh you'll be sorry that you celebrated.
You know, you're going to be looking stupid when you were citing CNN, when you said, hey, when you said to all your followers on Twitter and Facebook, hey, Joe Biden's our next president.
And then you put like hyphen CNN or you put hyphen MSNBC or whatever.
You're going to be looking pretty fricking dumb when all those organizations get lined up and shot.
For being traitors.
The best tweet, though, I think was one you sent me, Tony.
There were a couple of them.
Beggar.
Terrence tweeted, there might be a civil war when the courts overturn this manufactured election because the violent thugs on the left will be upset.
We don't want a civil war, but if there was one, the Republican Army would win, just like Abraham Lincoln.
We do have all the guns, but I want peace.
Banger.
Banger-ass tweet.
Banger-ass tweet.
Do you think Terrence K. Williams actually has a gun?
No.
I don't think so either.
No.
If Terrence K. Williams has a gun, it's a very small caliber gun that he can handle without hurting himself.
It's one that he can slip in and out of his garter belt fairly easily.
Fairly, fairly simply.
Uh, yeah.
I, I, this has everything.
I love that, so the right grift is like owning, the right, they own the Civil War.
They're like, we're gonna bring the Civil War.
But I like this one, he projects it and puts it on, on the libs.
Uh, puts it on the left.
Um, who's gonna start it.
But he's like, but we'll finish it.
Yeah.
Just like Lincoln did.
Because he didn't forget, he didn't forget.
The Lincoln thing's pretty good, I like that reference.
This is kind of how they always frame the Civil War.
They always frame it as if, you know, you forced our hands.
I didn't want to do this.
Yeah, we just wanted to grill, but instead now we have to have concentration camps for people with pink hair.
Or, uh, what's the other one?
Uh, there's... Oh yeah, you want to start a civil war?
You can't even start a lawnmower.
Like, that's just their thing.
It's something we've been talking about from the very beginning, which is just projecting all your violent fantasies that you have on killing your neighbor, or murdering your ex-wife, or whatever, onto the left.
These people are going to do all that stuff you want to do.
They're going to do it to you first, unless you do it to them.
Yeah, it's like you said, we've got to bring it to their doorstep.
But once you bring it to their doorstep, it's fucking on.
That's why I bought this liberty tree and I planted it right next to my front door.
That's right.
So it can get watered from time to time.
And it will be watered.
Yeah, Civil War, Minions Law, Terrence K. Williams.
Beautiful.
I feel like we predicted this turn for Terrence.
I don't know if he's ever touched on the Civil War before.
I should let him know.
He should get into both gun rights stuff, tactical gun stuff, and Civil War reenactment.
He should get into both those things.
I think that might be his lane.
And finally, yeah, I like the Abraham Lincoln reference.
So it's like, you know, of course, you know, Lincoln, you know, was presided over the Union and the Union was, of course, victorious.
And then Abraham Lincoln was shot in the head preventing any meaningful reconstruction, preventing any Meaningful gains for the actual cause of the Union, which was, you know, the equality of the races and actually led to a fairly dark period for those who, you know, believed in the equality of all peoples and those who, you know, were considered less than human.
Very interesting side to want to see yourself on and have confidence in.
Even if you were as good as Abraham Lincoln, it didn't turn out very well.
No.
That course of history, you're missing some big chunks there.
Including the chunk of his head that probably came off when he was shot.
When you're the right wing, you can't analyze a lot of this stuff.
Like, what are you going to say?
Like, oh, if only Abraham Lincoln were around, he could have actually, like, squashed the Southern rebellion that rose up, you know, during, you know, the Neo-Confederates.
He could have actually, like, put a stop to these people.
He could have more thoroughly enforced, you know, equal rights and those sort of things, and really put the South to task, you know?
That's not what they want to hear.
They just want to hear that they were the good guys because they were Republicans and vice versa.
Finally, last big hitter that I want to talk about, and boy is it a big one.
The subject of literally the first episode of Minion Death Cult, before we even knew there was going to be a Minion Death Cult, it's our boy Adam Calhoun.
Legend.
Icon.
And I was looking for him on Facebook.
I wanted to see what this dude had to say.
I was looking for him on Facebook and I couldn't find him.
And it was like, I was like, oh, I'm blocked from him.
I got blocked a long time ago for making fun of him for being a vlogger.
Uh, he was like, he was like trying to talk shit to one of our listeners.
And I was like, dude, you, uh, like for, for not having a real job or something or not going outside enough.
And I was like, dude, uh, you, you yell into an iPhone for a living.
That's what you do.
And then he blocked me.
Uh, I had to go to his Instagram.
His Instagram was like the link that I found.
And so I have some stuff from his stories.
Because his last post was just him voting with a shirt that said, fuck Antifa.
Hell yeah.
Didn't have anything, you know, more current to reflect his, you know, ongoing mood.
So I went to his stories.
Luckily there was something in his stories.
You're a whole ass bitch.
This motherfucker, you tell me this guy right here got more black votes than Barack Obama.
That's what they're telling us.
Guys, listen to me.
I'm not saying that Joe Biden got a higher percentage of the black vote than Donald Trump.
I'm saying they're telling us that Joe Biden got more black votes than Barack Obama.
Um, so it's funny because he says, you know, Oh, uh, you're a whole ass bitch to Joe Biden, uh, his president, his future president, which is kind of uncalled for.
Um, he says, can you believe this guy?
They're trying to tell us this guy got more black votes than Barack Obama.
Uh, and his followers are like real stupid, you know?
So they're like, uh, no, he got less of a percentage than Barack Obama because black voters voted for Trump actually more than they voted for, uh, you know, Mitt Romney or whatever.
Um, and then he goes, listen, guys, he's like trying to explain it to him.
He's like, I'm not saying that Joe Biden got a higher percentage of black voters than Donald Trump.
So he like explains it wrong to them?
He's like talking down to them and then he explains it wrong?
But we all know what he's saying.
The first black president ever.
What?
I like how he had to say the first black president ever as if like we're gonna get him confused with all the other black presidents.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
What?
What?
The black people had to vote for him.
He's black.
Um, so I feel like, you know, we aren't quite to like Mataglacius level yet, but um, There are a lot more Americans now than there were when Obama ran for president, and I'm just assuming that also means there's a lot more African Americans.
I think as one goes up, so does the other, to some respects.
I don't think Joe Biden is more popular among any demographic than Barack Obama, but probably especially the African American demographic.
But it's totally reasonable that he got more votes.
He got a more raw number of black votes, you know, than, uh... Yeah.
I mean, not from Breanna Joy Gray, but you know what I mean.
I mean, not only that, but there was more votes, period, this time around.
Like, period.
Yeah.
Just, at all.
Yeah, it was a record turnout and also there are more people that exist now.
Yeah.
So there's one more story that's pretty important from Adam Calhoun.
Let's go ahead and listen to it.
Facebook just deleted my Facebook page with 2.5 million people on it.
Love it.
So there you have it.
Love it.
That's probably why I couldn't find it on Facebook.
Because that shit got deleted.
Why did it take so long?
Why did I wait so long, huh?
To figure it out, but they did it.
And he's the only one underneath the sun who didn't get it.
Like a chump.
Yeah.
Like a Trump.
Remember?
Like, oh hey!
Like a Trump.
Not on Facebook anymore.
Wow.
End of an era.
End of an era for Mini Death Cult, for a lot of people.
And it's, you know, this was Adam Calhoun.
This wasn't just like your Uncle Sam's misguided children Facebook page that gets deleted every six months for posting something extremely violent and racist.
This was motherfucking Adam Calhoun, bro.
Yeah.
This guy's bigger than all that.
And it's like you said on Twitter, uh, what this means is, I think this means that we won.
I think this means that Minion Death Cult won.
I think so.
I think in this bout, this battle that we've been engaged in for so long, I think that we've come out on top.
We're triumphant.
Um, yeah.
Dude, I was watching... Sorry, go ahead.
No, I mean even somebody like him, a mogul, a rapper, you know, what's the word I'm looking for?
A pundit?
The people that have money?
The people that have money to do?
The people that invest money and stuff?
Like an investor.
Entrepreneur.
Yeah.
Oh, there you go.
Rapper, entrepreneur, fashion icon.
Pedophile, probably.
Pedophile, most likely.
I mean, you got money.
That's one of the things you do.
It's true.
I was watching old videos because there have been like Adam Calhoun fake Adam Calhoun pages that have popped up.
And they have like him posing with the American flag over his shoulders, you know, bare chested.
And they have like old his old videos up where he's like pretending to be gay with his son.
Do you remember those like old videos?
Yes, I do remember those.
Where it's like, this is the way a liberal raises their kid and he's like, he's like wearing a sweater tied around his neck and he's like flipping his wrist and like lisping at his son to clean his room and his son's like calling him a bitch.
Um, and then like they're driving the car and they're both like screaming at each other with lisps.
And then the tire goes flat.
And so he's like, this is how you change the tire.
And it shows him like hit the hubcap with the, with the wrench, just like smash it.
I'm going to miss that guy.
I'm going to miss him so much.
Um, but I still, I'm going to miss him mostly because I want him to stay relevant so that one day.
I can't find him, hold him down and shave his beard off.
I want to take a fucking cheese grater to those knuckle tattoos.
Oh god.
I want to take I want to take a like a like a microplane.
I want to take a rasp to like the anchor that's tattooed on every other finger knuckle.
Fucking idiot.
Just the lamest dude ever.
I love that, and remember when he got his kid to join the army?
Yeah, that's tight, dude.
That's so sick.
And he was like, I was never in the military, but my son will be.
My son, yeah.
Right when he hit 18, dude.
Yeah, and he like had his son wearing all those like socialism is for f*** shirts or whatever.
Cool stuff.
I hope his son gets radicalized in the military.
That'd be so sick.
That would be sick.
I just think it's cool that he sent his only son off to, like, die for people far more wealthy than him to own spammers on his Facebook page.
That's why I'm so grateful that I have a daughter, because I don't have to do that.
I can do that, I might do that, but I don't have to do that.
Right, it's not expected of you.
Or her.
And that's the patriarchy, folks.
It hurts both men and women.
Let's get into some sort of underground takes here.
What are we doing on time here?
I know we've had some downtime in between.
We're probably at, what, 55 minutes?
Yeah, exactly.
We're just short of an hour.
Yeah, so let's get into, like, you know, what the salt of the earth folks are thinking about this.
What, you know, real people on real, like, online spaces, such as, you know, the comment section in largest group ever, 100 trillion Trump supporters, please.
Of course, Minions Law, right?
This is like a Minions Law episode.
It's not... I mean, there's... There's a lot of like... I feel like stuff that I could post that would get, um... A lot of traction online.
Just because it would shock people.
Because they're not Minion Death Cult listeners.
They're not used to it.
Yeah, I don't understand.
For us, it's like, uh...
I don't know, it gets kind of boring hearing how much you want to kill liberals.
Like, spice it up a little bit.
Yeah, we've heard that.
Been there, done that.
And like, I don't know, in this video, I think this was, uh... I can't remember who shared this in the group, but it was good.
It's from TikTok.
And like, it had good pieces and then cliche pieces that we've all heard before.
Like, this is the good piece.
Let one motherfucker come in my face!
That's it.
That's cool.
That's something you don't hear all the time.
I love that.
I love the energy.
Like that.
That's what I edited it down to.
That's like what I edited it down to.
The best, you know, like what we do on the show, you know?
But like, if you, if you want to play like the last 10 seconds of this, then you'll get.
America lock and load.
Aim small, miss small.
They wanted it.
They're gonna get it.
Shit.
You know.
I mean, it's... Oh, shit.
It's a guy with a beard and a MAGA hat and, uh, yelling on TikTok for some teens that he's gonna, like, you know, uh, shoot them in, in this, in the chest or whatever.
Uh... Aim small, miss small.
Yeah, so lots of that in this episode obviously.
My favorite one was a comment from a man named Jason Ardoin who says, saddle the horses and get your hats boys.
It's getting time to ride north and get rid of a gene pool.
Woo!
But gene pool is spelled G-E-A-N.
Which I don't know what that is.
Is that a name?
It's not even a name.
He didn't even misspell Gene the way it would possibly be spelled as a name.
I do like how Facebook thought this was a name.
Oh, you know, this might be a name on accident because the G's capital and the P's capital might have like autofilled for him.
He might have tagged someone named Gene Poole in this.
Tim Poole's uncle, Gene.
Yeah, so not only are we going to do a civil war, but it's going to be gene-based.
It's going to be genetically oriented.
What's that called?
Isn't there a word for that?
Is there a phrase for that?
And we're going to keep it easy, though.
We're still going to be a north versus south type ordeal.
We are riding north to get rid of a gene pool, so we're going to keep it simple.
We've been here before.
Sorry, Ohio.
Um, yeah, so saddle the horses and get your hats boys.
Uh, we're gonna, we're gonna do genocide.
Well, the good thing is they're just coming at us with horses.
So I think we can handle it.
Yeah.
Um.
Some guy whose name is blocked out from when it was shared to me says, Biden wins, guess it's safe to say I am going to live of the government like all these other freeloading sons of bitches with a money sign for an S. Super fresh, very fresh.
I think it's funny because I think he's trying to like avoid the censor.
So he put a exclamation point for the I in bitch and then an S for the S in bitches.
But I don't think, like, the plural part of it is, like, what Facebook's gonna pick up on.
Like, I don't think the S in bitches is, like, what makes it a curse word.
No, but what happens, though, is if you use the plural bitches, um, it's like using the word bitch more than once.
It's multiple infractions.
So, yeah.
And it's up to the interpreter how many times you've used it at that point.
Yeah.
Although, Tony, let me pose an alternative to you.
We know that Facebook is communist, and what do communists hate?
They hate the fucking dollar, bro.
That's true.
They might not even read this.
They might just not even look at it.
I think if you put a dollar sign on Facebook, the fucking post-money society that Facebook envisions for the future, they might get a little mad at it.
Yeah, I like that.
I think that's smart.
They won't even look at capitalism.
Like all these other freeloading sons-of-a-bitches, because my check over 4k a week won't be but $1,800 for the tax rate he proposed, you can have it all, Biden.
You can pay my cell phone, my house, and rest of my bills, because I am adopting five slave workers from different countries for kids to farm for me.
and provide food and gonna sell crack at every school and Biden supports house and business cuz damn sure want be no jobs and want be no oil for gas so no cars or boats ATVs nothing so thanks fuck sticks thumbs up peace sign kissy face middle finger got him I like how the middle finger's the white one.
That's the one he's definitely used before.
That's the one that has pigment on it.
The thumbs up and the peace sign are not ones that he normally uses.
He hasn't already indicated what race he wants those to be.
I love this.
I'm just going to adopt five kids from other countries to go work for me and they're also going to sell crack at the schools.
It's pretty tight.
It is like... I don't know.
It's almost like Civil War.
It's almost like Civil War time.
It's almost like... I don't know.
It's just kind of like the mindset that a lot of these reactionary types get into, which is like, well, you forced me to do the thing I always wanted to do anyway.
Yeah.
It's like, I can't believe it's come to this.
I mean, now I'm going to have to have slaves.
It's just the way it is.
I'm sorry.
If you didn't want me to have slaves, you should have voted for Trump.
This is so real though because this guy's like well I'm gonna start trapping and unlike you know people who trap currently who like have kids do some work he's gonna go ahead and adopt some kids that he's gonna like hold captive as slaves and they're gonna do the trap they're gonna do selling the drugs for him at school like he he is gonna like he's a businessman so he knows how to do it properly the overhead of regular kid runners is like
You gotta buy candy, you know, you gotta like, you gotta like put in words like threaten them and their families.
This way you just are the family.
I like that he thinks Biden's going to institute communism, right?
That's what he's worried about.
We're going to get communism under Biden.
And his $4,000 a week check that he definitely makes is going to be whittled down to $1,800 after tax or whatever.
He's going to be paying even more after tax.
I mean, $4,000 a week.
Uh, that's not $400K.
That's like $200K, right?
Yeah, still not there.
You're not at that top tax bracket that Biden's talking about.
Your shit probably wouldn't get touched, even if you did make $4,000 a week, which I doubt you do.
Well, not now, but I got four years.
I got four years to get there.
But you're going to get taxed for all this shit, right?
What kind of shit is Biden going to give you under communist rule?
Well, he's going to give you a cell phone, he's going to give you a house, all of his bills, medical care, and all that shit, and you're only going to have $1,800 a week left over.
That's fucked up, dude.
That's fucked up, dude.
What if you wanted to buy a second house?
How are you going to afford that shit?
Well, on $1,800 a week, you could probably still afford a second house.
How are you going to afford a third house?
Well, I mean, you also got to have a phone bill plan that covers five additional phones for your drug dealing kids that you've adopted.
Oh, I think that that would actually probably be covered.
I think that's covered currently.
Um, if you, if you like foster kids.
Uh, I don't, I don't think you get a plan for those types of kids.
I think you go to Walmart and you buy what's ever in the like, you know, blister pack for those kids.
That's all they need though.
That's all you'd want him to have.
Yeah.
Kids only need burners.
It's just funny because he's like, yeah, you're going to pay for all my shit.
You're going to pay for a house, which is, uh, pretty expensive depending on where you live.
Uh, your cell phone rate, pretty expensive.
Uh, your, your groceries, your, your medical bills.
I think if you are, quote, losing $2,200 a week and you're getting a house, medical care, groceries, a phone out of it.
I think that's pretty cool.
The math is still great.
I think that's pretty cool.
Sign me up.
I would work 40 hours a week to get all that shit plus $1,800 a week.
Yeah, yeah, sign me up.
I'm down.
I'm down for that.
I want that.
Goddamn, $1,800 a week?
Fuck.
Yeah, I don't make that.
Not after taxes.
Yeah, holy shit.
Holy shit, that's a game changer.
Like during peak season I might make that, but I'm working like 60 hours a week or whatever.
Yeah, you make that for a few of those hours.
You make that for 20 of those 120 hours.
Spectacular.
Joe Biden is going to make us communists, so I'm going to start being slave owner.
Another post that I thought was very good.
I saw this as a copy, copied and pasted.
It says, if Joe wins, congratulations to you all who voted for him.
I hope you get all the quote free things you voted for.
What fucking free thing was Joe Biden offering?
Where are we getting this from?
Nothing.
Not one free thing.
Nothing.
Joe Biden was the one who said, fuck you, I'm not giving you free shit.
Dude, the guy we were arguing with on the Terrence K. Williams comments, where we were like, I don't know man, maybe we want some university health care.
And this guy was at Lib, and he's like, fuck you, no university health care.
Joe Biden's not talking about anything free.
Everything's going to be Nothing's going to be good under here.
I responded to, we responded to Terrence K. Williams, like call to arms.
We were like, we are awaiting your order, sir.
And, uh, a liberal, a liberal guy was like, uh, good news or like what, what happens next is you're not going to get orders from Terrence K. Williams.
You're going to, uh, take your meds and go back to normal.
Yeah.
And then I responded, I can't afford my medication.
Uh, now that Joe Biden is president.
Yeah.
And what did he say after that?
I don't know.
Some other guy responded to me, and he said, good.
Somebody was like, well, thanks to Obamacare, you'll be covered with pre-existing conditions.
Right, and it's like, okay, what that means is, like, presumably you still are under the age threshold where you can be on your parents' health care, or you get it through work, which is cool.
You probably don't know what covered means.
Not at all.
When you say pre-existing conditions are covered, what that means is that I am legally able to buy insurance.
Doesn't mean I'm ever going to get it.
Doesn't mean I'm ever going to actually get the benefits of those policies or whatever.
I kept on saying, I don't have health insurance, so I don't have meds, and you probably shouldn't make fun of people if they need medication.
And he said, fuck you, you voted for Trump, and then he blocked both of us.
So good, so good.
I hope you get all the free things you voted for.
I wish the best of luck to all the small business, gun, and landowners.
God, the landowners, those are the ones that are going to need the most luck.
It's going to be tough for them.
When gas pricing are soaring, taxes are high, you can't afford the extras of life, look back and think how good the last four years were.
You can hate Trump, but his policies helped this country.
What?
The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
Most of the time, it's fertilized by poop emoji.
That's tight, though.
Like, if we're talking about a grass metaphor, like, you want your grass to be well-manured.
Yeah, poop is like, it's good for the soil.
Yeah.
Poop is a stimulus check.
Sorry Snowflake, but poop is like a necessary part of the ecosystem.
Deal with it bud.
Sorry you think it's like icky or whatever.
This is so funny.
Most of the time it's fertilized.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
Most of the time it's fertilized by poop emoji.
So make sure you hug an oil worker today because they are worried sick if they will have a job in the next year.
I don't know one.
Oh, I guess I do.
I have a cousin that does fracking, so I guess I can hug him, but he's really far away and probably doesn't want to hang out with me anymore.
Also, Joe Biden spent half of the campaign talking about how he likes fracking a lot.
Yep, how cool it is.
So cool.
Hug an oil worker.
Hug an oil worker today.
It just seems like a shitpost.
It doesn't seem real.
Yeah, it's not real.
I can't go hug an oil worker.
There is 472 oil workers now in America.
I hope you look at our farmers, factories, and steel industries because they will get shipped back to China. - Yeah.
The farmers are going to get shipped back to China, like they were under the Obama administration.
I remember that.
Remember all those Chinese apples we had?
Make sure you tell a solider... I think possibly soldier... I think so.
Make sure you tell a solider, thanks for serving this country because our military will be downsized and not get raises.
God, dude.
Why is none of this true?
I mean I wish that part, that's not true.
Yeah.
Well, little do you know that Obama gave our soldiers the first raise they'd gotten in decades.
So there, Democrats are actually the Patriots.
In his face.
God, did you see that fucking thing that, uh, what's his name, from Scrubs?
And, uh... No.
No.
Zach Braff?
Zach Braff tweeted out at the news that Biden was the presumptive nominee.
Presumptive winner, rather.
No.
Uh, he tweeted out a gif that was like an x-ray of a boner.
Like an x-ray of a... Oh, I did see that!
Oh my god, I did see that!
But the dick was actually the head of an American eagle.
A bald eagle.
So it was like a freedom boner that he got for Joe Biden.
And I think it's cool that liberals are now, like we've moved on from liberals mocking conservatives by saying things like, I like to have sex with the flag.
I put the flag on my penis and rub it around.
Team America.
Yeah.
And then the Republicans saying, no, I think that's cool.
I do put the flag on my penis.
I do have sex with the flag.
Look at this gif of me in an American flag tank wearing an American flag thong while blasting red, white, and blue fireworks out of my titties.
Now we have liberals owning the Chuds by doing the thing that they were satirizing the Chuds for in the first place but unironically.
Like if anything is not a bigger indictment of the liberal imagination I think it's that.
Like, I wish he was doing a thing where he was saying like, oh, look at, look at the power of the patriotic patriarchy.
Um, look at, we put an, we put another sex pest in the office.
Good job, America.
But that's not what was happening.
It was like, we got the biggest dicks and we love, we're American, they're American dicks.
He was having, these are American, these are free American dicks.
It was, it was just like an epic, uh, epic American boner moment, you know, for the real They can even get erect under the stress of being x-rayed.
So what is that like?
Imagine trying to get a boner while you were getting x-rayed.
That would be uncomfortable.
It wouldn't be that fluid.
It definitely wouldn't turn into an eagle.
That's why I always ask for a male doctor.
Because when I do get a boner, he's just going to be like, oh, it's no big deal.
You know, we get those all the time.
It's cool.
We get those all the time.
I'm used to it.
You want them to be able to focus on your health.
Ain't nothing I haven't seen before.
You've been your returning customer.
Seen it a lot.
I don't care if you agree with me or not.
I wish the best for this country.
I stand for the flag and kneel before God until my last breath.
I wish peace, not war, but when you tread on my land and want to take my guns, you'll have a fight.
I'm gonna do a civil war.
I don't want to, but I'm gonna do it on you.
I'm gonna do it.
You can only rob the middle class so much before they break.
Ugh.
Time will tell the truth.
You're not wrong there.
On this election.
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
I will not argue blah, blah, blah.
Copied and pasted from a friend of mine.
Fell free to do the same.
Okay.
Okay, well.
Boring as fuck.
Maybe.
Stupid, but also boring.
Yeah, it's so stupid.
I do love how they say, like, the whole time they're saying, like, like, listen, like, I won't, don't make me do anything, but also I won't argue Burn City's loot, rob, or steal because our president didn't win.
But it's like, so then shut the fuck up.
Then shut the fuck up and go to work and don't make me read this dumb shit.
It's almost like you have a lot more to lose.
It's almost like you'd be fine under a Biden presidency if you're not willing to go out there and fuck some shit up.
It's almost like this isn't an existential question for you, who the president is.
I do want to know the real number of white men who saw Biden win and had a real moment where they were like, okay, okay, okay, everything's going to be fine.
This guy's not too bad.
This guy's actually pretty cool.
Okay, look, the black one with him is actually a cop too, so this is all going to work out.
We're going to be fine.
I want to see that happen in real time.
Last post here.
This one's from Aaron Rivett, who I believe got the zuck for posting this into the Facebook group.
So thank you for your service, Aaron.
We respect your sacrifice.
We will try to honor it every day.
We will try to, you know, use what you've given us today.
We won't let it go to waste.
We're here for you.
For that.
Thank you for being there for us.
Rich Butler says, Clintons and Obamas are thrilled to have all those quote real votes out of their warehouses.
This is like, you know, referencing like the ballots that were bussed in to Detroit.
Like how else would Detroit vote for Joe Biden?
Unless they had, you know, a huge dump of ballots in there.
It's a massive warehouse story because those people don't actually show up for anything.
No, and we know Trump got more black votes than any other Republican in history.
So how could Detroit have voted for Joe Biden?
That's my question.
Yeah.
Uh, Clintons and Obamas are thrilled to have all those, quote, real votes out of their warehouses.
Now they can fill them back up with babies and children to rape, murder, and sacrifice.
Whoa.
I can't believe there are so many blind, uh, pardon me, retards in this country.
I call bullshit.
Y'all get ready to put on your Muslim masks and go kill the white Christians.
So, Donald Trump, I'm presuming.
I think so.
I know who's really in charge, and he is still on the throne.
So Donald Trump, I'm presuming.
I think so.
When it's all burnt to the ground, remember all the sin we let into this country, space, comma.
It's our own fault.
I love the power of saying end of rant three quarters of the way through a rant.
Mm-hmm.
That is a flex.
You get the encore right away.
That's how you avoid getting the Zuck, is you say which part of it is the rant.
It's like a trigger warning.
Smart.
For Mark Zuckerberg.
Smart, I like that.
Also, if they can now, where were they storing the kids and babies?
For the last, what, like 12 years?
If now the warehouses for the ballots are going to be empty, where were they keeping the babies before?
Just in pizza parlors?
That's it?
So the babies were in the warehouses until this election when they needed someplace to print out all the votes and like a central command center.
Central production hub.
So, you know, all the babies and stuff, what do they do with them?
Do they just use them all up?
You know, like gorge on them?
And then get a bunch more as soon as the ballots are gone?
Do they store them somewhere safe, you know?
Somewhere like Little St.
James, now that that place is out of business?
That's a good question.
I don't know.
That's for the Dems to figure out, though.
Fuckin' sickos.
Um, I just, yeah.
This is a good own.
Yeah, you had to put the ballots in the warehouses, uh, but when you got the ballots out, now you can, uh, store all the, all the, like, Bibles that you've stabbed through the center of.
How do they, how do they justify the Muslim angle when it's Joe Biden and Kamala Harris in the office?
What do you mean?
Like how did they, because they said, you know, put on your Muslim mask and kill all the white Christians.
But it's like, it's Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.
Like, I don't think they have any Muslim ties.
Oh, except for Barack.
Well, and they're Democrats.
What's Joe Biden's Muslim name?
I couldn't tell you.
I think that would be cultural appropriation if I tried to tell you.
It's a good joke to do in your head while, you know, inside your head and not let it out of your mouth while you're listening to this maybe.
Have fun with that.
Yeah, well, I think that neither of them are white Christians.
I think Joe Biden is probably like a Catholic of some kind, right?
And Kamala Harris... I don't think he's Catholic.
I don't think he's Catholic because the only Catholic president has ever been would be JFK.
Joe Biden, pretty sure he's Irish, dude.
Okay, well, I mean, so he might be the other type of Irish, you know?
I don't want to talk about it.
What's, like, a pagan?
I don't know what the other... A goddamn liar is what it's called, okay?
That's what they're called.
They're called liars.
No, yeah, he probably would be a Protestant because that is from the root word protest.
Oh, true.
True.
We're getting, like, way in over our head.
I don't know.
I like the IRA.
Whatever side the IRA is on, that's my side.
The day after the election, this late friend I follow did an entire enactment of Martin Luther posting his demands at the Vatican on the door.
He did a whole reenactment in his stories.
Him and his wife did a whole 20 minute reenactment in response to the election.
They're like, this is like the election.
This is like the Protestants being free.
Did they adapt any of the Protestant language?
I couldn't actually watch any of it.
I couldn't actually watch any of it.
There's no way I could actually watch any of it.
This is the same person who I found that comic from.
They posted it earnestly inside their stories too.
Oh, that's really tight.
It's my favorite lib follow.
Mad love for that person.
Yeah, okay, so don't get ahead of yourselves, folks.
You gotta wait until January 19th to put on your Muslim masks and go kill the white Christians.
You can take off your quarantine mask, your COVID mask, and put on your Muslim mask.
Kill the idol of the white messiah.
Everybody has to listen to Ray Strader.
Yeah.
You get a mandatory estrogen, mandatory race trader, mandatory... They're gonna blast it over like public intercoms.
Yeah.
Alright, that's the show.
Thank you so much for listening.
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On the outside cold and with eyes closed drinking, warm milk from my bowl.
But nobody hears me, nobody hears me 'cause I crept in so soft, and nobody sees me, nobody sees me 'cause I watch 60 steps off, like peacocks wandering nobody sees me 'cause I watch 60 steps off, like The walkways of the zoo have twice the autonomy.
The giraffes and the tigers do say, no one can stop me, no one can stop me.
No one quits my claws.
Now everyone watch me, everyone watch me, scale these outside walls.
