Did they send a social worker to see if the goose needed counseling? (clip)
Support the show for $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a private feed with weekly bonus episodes, access to all previous bonus episodes, and audio version of our youtube livestreams This week we cover the ghastly debate between Biden and Trump, memorable moments from both, and the online response, including resistance sheriffs, Supreme Court Proud Boys, and armchair centrist-whisperers. Also, a Seattle man kills a goose during goose season, and local news wonders if Black Lives Matter is to blame. Watch Alexander read excerpts from "Rodham" tonight (October 1st), 7:30pm PST at http://youtube.com/miniondeathcult
The headline is, man beheads Canada goose in front of horrified families at Green Lake.
And the caption is, quote, there's been all this talk about defunding Seattle Police Department, but if someone is using a cane as a weapon, regardless if it's specific against animals or against people, it's a problem and the police need to show up because he is a general threat.
I love this spin because when you sent me this story, I was like, Oh, that's a wild story.
This dude's like straight up, straight up, like, you know, cleaning a goose, like right in front of people, like on a street.
And then you're like, hold on, wait a minute.
Check out this headline.
Check out the, check out the thing.
Check out the facts.
They're saying we need cops for this.
This is why they published this story.
This is why we need cops.
So there's a video accompanying it and it's like a cell phone video of the people who are like, you know, upset and they're videotaping this guy who's stuffing a goose into a bag like he's at a park and he's stuffing a goose into a bag and they're like, wait, what are you doing?
Stop it.
Stop it.
And he goes, it's goose season, man.
Yeah, it's goose season, man.
It's goose season, dude.
So casual.
Which, I looked it up, and goose season is indeed in effect starting September 26th.
Turns out, it is in fact goose season.
Okay, so this is the article.
Several people looked on in horror at Green Lake Monday evening when a man beat a Canada goose to death and beheaded it before walking off with it.
Quote, my friend and I were walking on Green Lake and there was this big group of geese off to our right.
Witness Rebecca Wang told Como News.
A short time later, there was a big commotion as she spotted a man with a cane hitting the geese.
He managed to hit at least three of them as they flew away, but then he managed to hit one goose by itself by a tree, Wang said.
He grabbed it and pulled its head off and stuffed it in his backpack.
He pulled his head off and stuffed it in his backpack.
And then people were like, in the replies, people were like, saying, obviously though, this guy just wanted a goose to eat.
And then other people were like, uh, if that's the case, then why did he only take the head?
And I was like, what?
That's crazy.
If the guy was just decapitating geese and only taking the heads, And then reading this you can tell like why they said that because it says he grabbed it and pulled its head off and stuffed it in its backpack.
So they're just like choosing the weirdest interpretation of that sentence.
I love that.
I love that idea.
He's like, I need this for a potion.
I like to think he was just, like, making a top of another cane.
He was gonna use the goose's head for, like, another handle on a different cane.
Where do you think I got this cane from?
Or like slippers where the toe curves up and it's just a goose's head.
But that's how you bless the cane.
Like the cane doesn't really count until you kill another goose with it.
Yeah.
Multiple people were calling police as at least two witnesses, including Wang, recorded the gruesome incident.
Another witness told KOMO News their child saw the entire event.
Oh no!
Oh, no.
And then the man just walked off, Wang said.
He didn't really seem like he was in his right mind.
It was something I can't unsee, unfortunately.
But despite multiple witnesses calling 911, Wang said police never arrived.
Oh, shit, you think?
I'm always a big fan of not calling the cops, right?
Obviously.
But what was your optimal outcome here?
Homicide?
What were you going for?
What was the end goal here?
Get this dangerous meat eater off the streets.
Listen, we're arresting you for murder.
You murdered this goose in cold blood in front of this child.
This is in front of child murder.
It's worse than regular murder.
This is like indecent exposure plus murder.
Yeah, exactly.
You know what?
We're going to get you for child molestation.
I'm sorry.
When you said you pulled the goose out, I thought for sure you meant like, no?
An actual goose?
Okay.
All right.
No crime there.
No crime.
You pulled your cane out and you beat a goose with it.
Are we talking about a real cane or is this a euphemism?
We'll figure out a crime for that.
She and her friend waited 15 minutes but no cops showed up.
It's so funny that this is like so horrific for her and this is like the most like brutal thing she's ever seen but she only waited 15 minutes afterwards for cops.
The whole thing is wild.
This guy doesn't seem too threatening.
Yes, he's beating a large bird with a cane.
Yeah, I understand that part.
But also, no one gets that close to him.
They're like, hey, stop it.
The whole video they're like, hey, don't do that.
At no point does anyone be like, Hey man, what the fuck's your problem, man?
Can you not do that?
Can you not kill geese in front of us?
No one gets that aggro with them, but they're all ready to call the cops.
That's the cop's job.
The cop's job is to get aggro with them.
Hey, listen dude, if you don't do this, I already called someone and they're going to yell at you for sure.
They're going to for sure yell at you.
Also, I'm going to go ahead and do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to pull it out.
I'm going to pull out that soap box real quick.
You ready for it?
Okay.
Yeah, I'm ready for it.
So all these motherfuckers are ready to call the cops over someone killing a goose during goose season, which by the way, as like an environmentalist and an old hunter, there is space for hunting.
I understand that.
I'm going to go ahead and say that on record.
I just don't do it anymore because it fucking hurts my soul.
But, so you mean to tell me like, none of your kids that are seeing this are going to eat chicken nuggets later that night?
Like, okay, so you don't want to see where their fucking meat comes from?
If you can't handle the death of an animal in front of you, then maybe you probably shouldn't eat meat.
You're not cut out for being a carnivore, I'm sorry.
I think that every single person that eats meat should get a license they have to carry to buy the meat.
In order to get that license, you have to clean and dress an animal.
That's the thing, I would rather watch this guy knock a goose's head off with his cane Then, like, watch a factory farm.
Absolutely!
Absolutely!
Exactly!
Fucking exactly, yeah!
I'm just being honest.
I still eat meat.
Tony's a vegan, but I still eat meat.
That should be the rule though.
I think what this guy did was... You have to beat a bird with a cane and eat that bird.
What this guy did was downright wholesome compared to what I do every night.
In order to eat meat, you should have to find a bird, name the bird, bludgeon the bird, clean the bird, eat the bird.
Then you get a license to just eat birds.
If you want to eat beef, guess what you gotta do?
Guess you gotta do.
You gotta get a bigger cane.
You gotta clean and dress a fucking cow.
Which is like... By the way, I've done that.
It's a fucking process.
I'm sure.
You gotta quarter it.
You gotta quarter it before you can even clean it.
And because I'm not a little punk, I ate meat for years after that.
I didn't become a punk.
I didn't become an actual punk, you know, for years after that.
That was, you know, about 12 years ago.
um yeah so uh there's like one paragraph here left um i can't remember okay uh it was i quote i was really disappointed this was supposed to be a safe neighborhood wang said there's been all this talk about defunding spd but if someone is using a cane as a weapon regardless if it's specific against animals or against people it's a problem and the police need to show up because he is a general threat
