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April 7, 2020 - Minion Death Cult

02:03:22

Let There Be Light (2017)

For a change of pace, this week we review the Kevin Sorbo-directed, Sean Hannity-produced "Let There Be Light," a film about "the world's most popular atheist" converting to christianity after a near-death experience in which he spoke to his deceased son. Music: Dionne Warwick - Let There Be Light Support the show and get a bonus episode every week at http://patron.com/miniondeathcult

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	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
	We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
	All their environment, all the time.
	Stay tuned.
	Alright, I'm Alexander Edward.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Cult.
	The world is ending.
	Kevin Sorbo's dead son is responsible.
	We're documenting it.
	What's up, everybody?
	Thanks for joining you.
	Just a peek behind the scenes.
	It is 10 p.m.
	after an 11-hour workday.
	For me personally, I am riding high on some yerba mate and tequila.
	And we're just gonna try to get through this thing before I crash.
	There's gonna be an inevitable crash at some point.
	Yeah.
	So we're gonna be very efficient and I'm saying this mostly to myself to keep myself on track.
	Today it's a special episode because we are not talking about COVID-19.
	We just can't do it anymore, at least for a minute.
	We're not going to do it to you.
	It's not like we can't do it.
	It's like we need to not do it because that's all that's going on.
	All that's going on is COVID-19.
	All that's going on is coronavirus.
	All that anybody is talking about is this freaking coronavirus.
	And there's like, you know, funny stuff that is spurred by that conversation.
	But we need a break.
	You need a break.
	We need a break.
	So this week we decided to talk about a movie, okay?
	Talk about a conservative movie, a conservative Christian movie called Let There Be Light, starring Kevin Sorbo.
	Let there be light.
	A beautiful, beautiful film.
	Can we use the term film?
	I think this is worthy of the term film.
	Yeah, I believe this was shot on 35mm.
	We were able to secure a print for our viewing.
	In doing this show, which makes it a lot harder to, like, pause the reel and transcribe, you know, every dumbass thing Kevin Sorbo says or his, like, effeminate agent says.
	But it was worth it, I think.
	I think so.
	Before we get started, I wanted to do just a second of housekeeping because we do have to shout out The Creepy Critters Podcast.
	Jesse from the Creepy Critters Podcast had us on to talk about weird cats.
	This is something we did like two weeks ago and it's just we've just been pretty hectic over here in the Minion Death Cult and haven't had time to plug it on our show.
	Haven't remembered to plug it on here.
	But it was a fun conversation.
	It was fun to just kind of like go talk about something random and weird for once.
	That was so much fun.
	It was such a nice, completely different thing than we usually get to do.
	Just completely fantastical and I get to hear your shit opinions on fantastical cats.
	Yeah I think I kind of misunderstood the premise or like maybe the premise is just not right for my personality type because I think I did a lot of like picking apart the cryptids instead of like just you know taking them at face value.
	I was like a little bit of a A little bit of a b-hole, I think.
	A little bit of a skeptic.
	But it made for some good podcasting.
	I think there's some good Tony and Alex moments on that episode, too.
	You know, you know, those good old... we call it a little TNA.
	Classic TNA.
	Some TNA.
	Uh, and there was one weird cat.
	So Creepy Critters, it's a cryptid podcast.
	Uh, and the cat, we were on the cat episode, one of the cat episodes.
	And, uh, yeah, you know, it's mostly like weird cats.
	Uh, but there was one cat that did sort of, uh, what do you call it?
	Hew to our show.
	Hew to the Minion Death Cult premise, which was like the incel cat.
	I can't remember the exact name of the cat.
	But it was a cat that hated women.
	Yeah.
	And that's one of the cats that we talked about on that episode.
	So yeah, go listen to Creepy Critters.
	Thanks to Jesse for having us on.
	We appreciate you.
	So yeah, we were sick of talking about COVID, you know, it's just good.
	We got to offer something to the listener.
	I mean, the listener is probably mostly quarantined.
	Shout out to the listeners who are still working like myself, like Tony.
	Yeah, did I mean?
	But the listener is probably quarantined.
	The listener is probably living COVID every day.
	They don't want to hear about it, you know, all the time, right?
	So we thought we'd talk about a movie, something like a bit of escapism, right?
	And, you know, movie episodes are always fun and a little more lighthearted.
	We did The Mule with Clint Eastwood.
	Banger.
	That's a really well-regarded episode, according to our listeners.
	If you haven't heard that one, we recommend it.
	We did Loquicia with Leslie Lee III from Struggle Session, one of my favorite episodes of this show.
	That is just such a bizarre movie.
	You really have to at least hear us talk about it, if not see it.
	Yeah, I think that episode should be, like, plugged into the Wikipedia of the LaQuisha entry.
	I think it's that good.
	And we did Believe.
	We did another Christian propaganda movie that was probably, I mean, even weirder than this one.
	Like, definitely, like, more radical than this one because that is, like, a Christian capitalist movie wherein an entrepreneur, a small business owner, saves the town by enslaving the homeless population therein.
	Yes, to throw a fair.
	Saves the town, saves Christmas by making homeless people work for free.
	It's amazing.
	So I don't know.
	We have fun with these episodes.
	So I was like, yeah, let's do a movie episode, right?
	And so I was looking, I kind of cheated, I was like, oh, typed in conservative movies, you know, on Google, and I found this conservopedia I'm fairly familiar with, but I found a specific entry on conservopedia which is called Greatest Conservative Movies.
	And, uh, the subheading says, there have been many superb conservative films, colon, and then it's the list.
	It's the list of, like, hundreds of movies that, uh, for one reason or another, the, uh, this website, Conservapedia, and its user base have deemed conservative.
	And I think it must be the other, because there's not really, there's not, it's not as congruent as you would think.
	Well, let's let the listener decide.
	Okay.
	I have a few, uh, I have a few examples here.
	Um, I think the very first entry in the conservative P conservapedia list of cons greatest conservative movies is the sixth day.
	You're thinking, Oh, the sixth day that refers to like the day right before God rested.
	Right?
	Yeah, naturally.
	No idiot.
	California Republican Governor-to-be Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in this pro-family, pro-life, anti-cloning adventure as a family man of the future who is illegally cloned.
	The villain is trying to play God and used to use the cloning to decide who gets to lives and who dies.
	Which Schwarzenegger's character objects to.
	So ending that last sentence in a preposition.
	A little bit of bad grammar there.
	Um, I love the pro-family, pro-life, anti-cloning adventure.
	It's got everything you could possibly want.
	Well, that's a big debate.
	You know, it's like one day we're going to have to answer that question, you know, are, are clones human, you know?
	Um, and I think it's going to, I think if Arnold Schwarzenegger has his way, the answer's no.
	Yeah, I mean, like, I'm a heathen, so I enjoy clones.
	I enjoy movies like Multiplicity.
	I enjoy a TV show called The Venture Brothers.
	No spoilies.
	I don't want to spoil anything for people who haven't seen, like, the second season finale of The Venture Brothers or whenever that shit happens.
	Great show, by the way.
	Yeah, fantastic show.
	I'm very pro-cloning.
	I think humans have no inherent rights because I'm a leftist and we should all play God and make clones.
	A surprising number of these movies revolved around the idea of cloning, like dystopian cloning movies.
	Like The Island was on this list.
	Yes!
	Yes.
	As if, like, the idea of creating a, I don't know, an entire cast of people who just exist to be replacements, you know, serve as, like, organ donors for the rich and powerful, as if that is an anti-conservative message.
	That's the leftist message right there.
	Well, I mean, it's in the name.
	I mean, they are, like, pro- Like, life for humans.
	And also, the island.
	I mean, we all know Jeffrey Epstein, a friend of the Democrats, had a little island of his own.
	He did, yep.
	Another movie here, 42.
	The description says, biopic, with a K, of American icon Jackie Robinson.
	So we're going to have to watch that one sometime soon and just tear it apart.
	Yeah.
	Tear it apart for being conservative and right-wing and just, you know, disgusting and hypocritical.
	Well, I think it's the part where like, you know, the byline of 42 is 42.
	42 is 42 one of the good ones He was like yeah, he was one of the good ones because he was just like proud enough to make history Yeah, but like he like wasn't like having sex with white women.
	Oh Oh, that's a very good point Yeah, and then when he went to hit that white guy with a baseball bat, I think he refrained from doing it I think he did and he didn't do it.
	He like he could have done it.
	He hit the dugout instead which like Still property damage.
	Still not happy about that.
	I've heard that he's actually never ran as fast as he could out of respect.
	I heard he can go faster.
	Another movie here is American History X. Popular conservative right-wing movie, American History X. And the description says, a neo-Nazi, parentheses, the Nazis were left-wing socialists even though the left has tried denying it, overcomes his racism and anti-Semitism.
	Nice!
	So you can kind of see where this is going.
	Ace Ventura Pet Detective is also a great conservative movie.
	The last sentence of this description says, Ventura also calls him by his biological gender.
	I was gonna like joke that that was part of the thing and that is the whole reason, huh?
	No, that's it.
	Yeah, there's a lot of these movies where it's like, oh the main character is like bigoted and that's good.
	That's what makes it conservative.
	That sucks.
	That sucks so bad.
	Yeah.
	That's where I got this movie that we're talking about today.
	I saw a Ray Finkel meme today about coronavirus.
	Sorry.
	I saw a Ray Finkel meme today.
	It's like, why does that exist?
	What?
	Was it like, keep the laces out?
	No, it was a picture of Wendy Williams and her pubic bone was outlined in her dress.
	And it said, what in the Ray Finkel is this?
	And it was like, what?
	Have you never seen a body?
	I thought you said it was a coronavirus meme.
	Well, no, it was, but, sorry.
	And it had a little, I'll send it to you, it had like a little coronavirus.
	It was in a coronavirus cluster.
	Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And I don't know why it was in there.
	Sorry, yeah.
	Okay.
	I was like, why is that relevant today?
	Who's using that reference now?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I mean, it's kind of just relevant to always, like, mock black women, though, Tony, in case you don't know.
	That's true.
	So, I'm not going to do any editing on this episode, folks.
	We're going to try to get through it.
	It's too late for me to edit this episode.
	I need to get it out to you tomorrow.
	So, anything that's not funny, you'll just have to kind of ignore.
	Anytime Tony does anti-white racism, which I normally cut from the episode, you'll have to also ignore that.
	I would just maybe ask Tony to like, you know, refrain from his usual anti-whiteness.
	But you're not going to because you know that you're not gonna tell me how to live my life on this podcast.
	No.
	Because I don't listen to no white man, not one time, not never.
	We're co- we are co-hosts.
	Cool, cool, cool.
	Part of that is that we take equal share in making fun of white people.
	Let's get right into this plot, okay?
	So, Let There Be Light.
	It's from 2017.
	It's a Kevin Sorbo movie.
	It's the first Kevin Sorbo movie I think I've seen from his like Christian era.
	I haven't seen... Oh, it's not the first one I've seen.
	I haven't seen God's Not Dead.
	I haven't seen any of those movies.
	Which one have you seen, Tony?
	Uh, fucking, um... What's it called?
	I don't know, dude.
	The one I went to go see in the theaters.
	Oh, yeah.
	The Reliant.
	Yeah, the Reliant.
	Yeah, I saw that shit.
	That shit was, uh...
	She was a banger.
	I saw that in theaters.
	Uh, the movie that we thought was about Antifa, uh, Antifa descending on a town, but it turned out it wasn't.
	That's one of the few times Minion Death Cult's gone viral, and it's just totally wrong.
	That trailer looked like it was Antifa.
	It did.
	It looked like it was Antifa.
	It looked like it was Occupy Wall Street, like, killing Christians.
	They projected it a little bit and there was a bit of like, you know, getting my, you know, get off my guns type talk.
	Yeah.
	Um, but, but it was, that was, it was not, not as much as we wanted.
	I wanted, I wanted the smoke.
	I wanted them to really like battle the Antifas.
	Was this movie wilder than the Reliant?
	This, this movie was more wild because it just misses, I can see the Reliant happening more than I can see, um, More than I can see this happening.
	This is directed by and starring Kevin Sorbo.
	I don't know if this is like his directorial debut or something.
	I think so.
	But it was directed by him.
	It's also starring Kevin Sorbo's wife, Sam Sorbo, and it's also starring Kevin Sorbo's kids, Brayden and Shane Sorbo.
	Brayden and Shane.
	Brayden is spelled B-R-A-E-D-E-N.
	Yes, yes.
	I like how they still managed to give him wider names in the movie.
	What are the names in the movie?
	It's like Gus.
	Gus and like something else, but I forgot.
	The other name was better than Gus.
	The other name was like, uh... Man, I can't remember the other name, but it was great.
	It was a very white name.
	Yeah.
	This was also co-written by Sam Sorbo.
	Kevin Sorbo's wife.
	Okay.
	So do you think this was like, um, the, the, the thing where he's like directing this movie, uh, his wife is writing it and he casts his wife as his wife in the movie, ex-wife.
	He casts his kids as his kids in the movie.
	Do you think this is like a Mike Pence thing?
	Do you think he like cast his wife and kids so he wouldn't have to like talk to a different woman on set?
	Yeah, exactly.
	Out of respect.
	He's like, I can't be intimate with another woman on set.
	Like I've done that.
	I don't know if you know this, but he never takes his shirt off.
	These aren't Hercules days.
	You know, he's shirt on the whole time.
	The only woman he accosts is his wife in the actual movie.
	Accosts?
	That's how you're choosing to describe sexual relations?
	With Kevin Torbo's involvement in this movie, yes.
	I found him the requisite gentleman.
	I thought he was a bit aggressive.
	A bit fast with it.
	Okay, we'll get into that part.
	No, you're right though.
	You know, there is a level of intimacy both with his wife and his kids in this movie.
	And it's like, yeah, you know, if you're a strong Christian man, you know, you can't be intimate with an actress pretending to be your wife.
	And just like you can't be intimate with kids, like pretending to be your kids.
	Because he's like grabbing and hugging these kids.
	I think it would have been like, I don't know.
	Committing adultery on his own sons.
	The way he's like manhandling these boys in this movie.
	His son would have acted like he did in the movie where he's kind of like weird like asshole prick.
	Like because his dad was hanging out with other kids.
	His son kind of sucks in this movie.
	The oldest son.
	Also, so not only was this directed by and starring Kevin Sorbo, co-written by his wife Sam Sorbo, this is executive produced by Sean Hannity.
	By Sean Hannity.
	The Sean Hannity.
	Incredible.
	Incredible.
	I love that.
	That was the chef's kiss on this entire movie was the production.
	Yeah.
	And you better believe there is a Sean Hannity cameo in this movie.
	Not even a cameo.
	He's like a big role in this movie.
	Yeah, he is a big role.
	He plays himself.
	Another greatest conservative movie here, I'm looking at my notes, from Conservapedia was Billy Madison.
	Because... Because he gives nudie magazines?
	Yeah, it's because, quote, the female is a simple school teacher.
	Oh my god!
	There's like three things wrong with that statement, but we don't have time to get into it.
	So let's get into the plot here.
	Okay, so the opening credits of this movie, it's like a rap song, right?
	It's like a Christian rap song, I think?
	It feels like those late 90s gospel rap songs are happening.
	But not like Kanye does now.
	The ones that didn't happen in the late 90s.
	It was a good time.
	It's a real Jesus Strolls song.
	That's kind of what it was.
	It was like bargain basement Jesus walks.
	I will say there was a good amount of black cultural representation throughout this movie.
	That's a fair point.
	Yeah, there's some pretty pivotal Uh, moments that were, that were not appropriated from.
	They actually used black people to make this content.
	Like the song in the beginning was very much like this gospel rap song that was very hip hop.
	Dionne Warwick is in this movie later.
	Uh, so the opening credits, uh, you know, what, what the visuals that we're seeing underneath this, this hip hop, hip hop song, uh, is footage of 9-11 footage of the Boston bombings.
	Yeah.
	Footage of ISIS and Benghazi, and then also footage of like Occupy Wall Street and Black Lives Matter protests and riots.
	Yeah, what I thought was interesting too was the parachuting.
	There was someone holding a Jaisalmer Charlie sign and it was like it was just a montage of everything that was it wasn't it wasn't even like it was just bad it was like these are the biggest headlines from this moment it was terrorist attack terrorist attack black protesters yes terrorist attack leftist protesters these are one in the same these are the same thing these these things should make you feel the same way so you know what kind of movie this is Yeah.
	The first scene, we get right to the action, which I really appreciate.
	The first scene is a debate between Kevin Sorbo's character, who's named Saul Harkins.
	Harkins.
	Saul Harkins.
	Saul Harkins, who is basically a Charles Dawkins, a Who's the other guy?
	Richard Dawkins, and then who's the other guy?
	Sam Harris?
	I guess.
	Sam Harris is newer than that.
	Who's the guy who died?
	What's his name?
	He's like a rock and roll atheist.
	He's like his own... You need to stop stepping on my keyboard, Geezy.
	You can put your little paws on this little side speaker.
	You can't put it on the keyboard.
	God, she's getting so close.
	She's gonna, like, delete this recording.
	She's just trolling you so hard.
	Why are your paws gotta be on there?
	Okay.
	Hitchens, Christopher Hitchens.
	He's like Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens character, just an atheist provocateur who loves to debate.
	But his personality type is something different than both of those.
	We see him debating this Christian philosopher.
	They're debating like the existence of God.
	And this is... Geezer?
	Fuck.
	Geezer can't hear me laughing, so I'm not enabling.
	I really hate leaving me being mad at my cat.
	I love her, but holy shit, she just kept hitting the tab key and kept hitting the caps lock key.
	She's a tabby.
	Alright, dude.
	Alright.
	Let me go back to my first page of notes.
	Thank you, geezer.
	Do, do, do.
	So, yeah.
	The first scene is a debate between Kevin Sorbo and this Christian philosopher who are debating the existence of God.
	and uh...
	The Christian guy gets a huge laugh by being skeptical about evolution.
	He makes a joke about, yeah, if I didn't believe in God and I were just a rational being and I was coming to this evidence for the first time in my life and somebody told me that Adam's randomly formed molecules that will one day spontaneously create Miley Cyrus?
	Yeah, that was a good line.
	I'd be a bit skeptical and the audience is just like cheering and laughing.
	They're like, I know that person.
	And Sorbo's character gets a huge laugh by just repeating the title of the debate with like punctuation and included.
	He's like, listen, here, stop right there.
	If you want to debate about that, that's fine, but we're here to debate about the existence of God, colon, good, comma, bad, comma, evil, semi-colon, and people are like laughing that he knows the title of the debate.
	Behind Kevin Sorbo is like the title of what we find out is his book, okay?
	And behind... One of his books.
	The Christian guy is the title of like his book, okay?
	And who cares?
	Who could possibly care?
	It's something like, God is great.
	Nobody knows.
	Nobody could look at it.
	The title of Kevin Sorbo's character Saul Harkin's newest book is Aborting God colon The Reasoned Choice.
	Which is also the name of like probably a pretty great album.
	Probably a pretty good death metal album.
	Aborting God, The Reasoned Choice.
	It's amazing.
	It's amazing.
	It's fucking beautiful.
	It's so aggressive.
	It makes no sense.
	It's everything that you would hate as a Christian.
	As a right-wing Christian writing this movie.
	Yeah.
	That's like what you would hate.
	Abortion.
	God.
	Aborting.
	Vivisecting Jesus.
	His body.
	My choice.
	Trading in God for an Obama phone.
	The best of the whole thing is just great because it's like he is this arrogant like he is this arrogant atheist like piece of shit and and he is just all the tropes and that like so that the way he says that because it's like I'm not offending anybody because it's not real so I don't really care it's just I don't really, I de-gaff is what I do.
	Aborting God is so fucking good.
	Like I'm so happy that that's the main book title that they went with because you see the titles of his other books in the background later on in the movie.
	And one of them is the God virus.
	One of them is just that, which is like, yeah, you know, the God delusion, Richard Dawkins.
	And that's the one that you would think would be like the one that they say all the time, the one that's always like on screen just because it's generic and it's like a direct allegory to an actually existing book.
	But no, they went with aborting God.
	Beautiful.
	Yeah, how do you think of that?
	Somebody had to make the cover for that book and I hope they had to pray about it.
	Like afterwards.
	Gay divorcing God.
	The hedonistic choice.
	I like that one because that one's even, that one's like three levels of blasphemy.
	Because you're getting a divorce, which is, you know, against God.
	You're being gay with God, which is bad for you to be gay, but then you're also implying that God is gay.
	That's true.
	That's the best one.
	Um, this whole debate is just like, it's, it's the Saul Harkins Show.
	Like, everybody in the audience is there for him.
	They're there to see him, like, clown on this Christian, like, mook, basically, who's, like, trying to get into Word and Edgewise.
	He can't because, uh, Saul Harkins, he's got this motor mouth on him.
	He's, he's got the gift of gab.
	He's, he's just a talker.
	And what, I have a quote here.
	So, uh, so what do you say, Doc?
	You speak for the spirit in the sky.
	I'm going to cheerlead for sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
	And he does the metal horns.
	He steps forward to the audience and he raises the metal horns.
	And the audience loses their shit.
	There is a standing ovation for him saying the phrase, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
	And it's, my first instinct is, maybe not my first instinct, but like, The first impression or I would imagine a lot of people would get would be to like get Irrationally mad at this portrayal of like a cringe rock-and-roll Atheist, you know, like that's not what atheists are like, you know until I remember the television show Californication Yep Or anything that Dennis Leary has ever done Yeah, yeah, totally
	Because while his character is based on Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens, his personality type is that of a Dennis Leary.
	That totally makes sense.
	Yeah, I didn't think that's totally the combination.
	He's like a genius Dennis Leary.
	Not a comedian, but a theologist.
	He's like a cynical, running at the mouth, Dennis Leary type who happens to have a doctorate in philosophy or whatever he has.
	It's the Dennis Leary in Demolition Man thing of like, yeah, I want to eat a burger, I want to fuck without a condom, I want to kill my dog, I want to have fun, I want to live, I want to fuck, I want to feel!
	It's like that when he's on his shit.
	Cause right there you're almost thinking he's like a poser, you know, cause you don't really know yet.
	You think he's almost a poser.
	He's like sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
	But then you're like, he's authentic because he goes on to say, party on Wayne.
	He's like, you want to know my mantra?
	Party on Wayne.
	Yep.
	And he's just like, and the follow up to that, you got it.
	Party on Garth.
	Yeah.
	It's bad.
	He's like in a party on Garth the God.
	I just realized, I realized subconsciously, Dennis Leary had a show called Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll, where he was like a rocker dad who was reuniting with an estranged daughter.
	That is partially where I got that connection.
	I guarantee it.
	I need to, we need to watch that show, dude.
	I bet it's really fucking bad.
	They probably smoke a lot of cigarettes.
	Um...
	This is another quote from the debate.
	So he's like getting mad at the, he's like totally owning this Christian guy.
	The Christian guy is like, but I thought this was a debate.
	I thought I got to use logic.
	And he's like, shut the fuck up loser.
	And there's like no moderator.
	And he says, is there any difference between your God and the God of ISIS?
	You're both smoking the same dope.
	The only difference is that yours is in a joint and theirs is in a hookah.
	Dude, I fucking lost it when he said that.
	The audience lost it.
	The audience stands up.
	The audience like looks at each other.
	They're like slapping each other's backs.
	They're jumping up and down in space.
	They're like stomping their feet on the ground.
	They love this shit.
	I was like, yo, ISIS smokes hash.
	Yes!
	This rules!
	I love that.
	Yours is in a joint.
	Theirs is in a hookah.
	Which is funny because it really should have been like Yours isn't a bong, theirs isn't a hookah, but whatever.
	No, no, no.
	You both drink in the same Kool-Aid.
	The only difference is theirs is halal.
	But I mean, I don't know if I'm jumping ahead, but the biggest line, are we going to get to his theology, what got him to where he's at?
	Because the biggest applause line Which is so... Do it, yeah, go for it.
	It was fucked up.
	Because he talks about why he does not believe in God.
	It's because his young son died of cancer.
	Dude, he sits down.
	He's actually a pretty good performer.
	Everything he's saying is annoying as fuck, but he's got charisma.
	And Kevin Sorbo has presence on screen.
	We know this, yeah.
	He's a fairly good actor for what he's doing.
	And yeah, he stops the debate.
	I wouldn't say he stops the debate, but he fucking has this audience in the palm of his hand.
	And he's just like rocking and rolling up there, making them laugh at this pastor on stage.
	And then he slows everything down, like naturally, and sits down at the edge of the stage.
	Yeah.
	Cause like he has to deliver his like, I got you, you can't win now.
	You can't win this debate because I'm going to bring out my got you line, which is my, my dead suit, my super dead son.
	And uh, and like when he, cause he does this great monologue talking about it, but then he ends it by like, like, like calling a God, like a son of a bitch and like slamming his hand on the podium and saying, and my son's dead.
	And like that, if you heard that in public, you'd probably be silent.
	Yeah.
	But everyone's like, yeah, his fucking son's dead!
	They like, lose his mind.
	Oh shit, they have fucking rules.
	There's a roar.
	They're just like, yeah!
	Yeah, it's the line is, if God felt like sacrificing his only begotten son, because this is how like impotent, this is like, this is like what a cuck this preacher is.
	The cuck is like, well, actually, God is so good that he killed his own son for you.
	And Kevin Serbo's like, oh, well, actually, if God felt like sacrificing his only begotten son, that's his business.
	But he bloody well should have kept his hands off mine.
	And the audience is just like hooting.
	They're like, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot.
	Yeah.
	Like just cheering, losing their shit over his dead son, his super dead son.
	So he kills it.
	He like slaughters this dude at this quote debate.
	And then he goes home to his like million dollar apartment where he's just drinking and watching infomercials.
	Yeah, he's all sad by himself.
	And he's like, yeah, party on.
	Dude, his apartment is so fucking tight.
	It's so tight.
	His apartment is a movie apartment in New York City.
	Yeah, he's definitely leading a cult.
	The whole thing is, the party on Garth, he says, you know what my philosophy is?
	Party on Wayne and then like the audience like does the response which is just like party on he's all in party on Garth the audience goes party on it's very fucking weird yeah it's like it's super weird um so he goes to pick up the kids from uh the ex-wives and she answers the door and she says hey I heard about your god-bashing party last night And then he says, hey, it's not much, but it pays the alimony!
	Yeah, in your face.
	Get off my money.
	You're welcome.
	This time, the real audience comprised of all dads, all divorced dads, they are stomping and hooting.
	They're ripping their shirts off and throwing it at the screen.
	Yeah, I started a moshing on the couch that I'm crashing on that does belong to the mother of my daughter.
	I just started a moshing right then and there.
	Girl, fuck yeah!
	This one's for me!
	And then she says... Thanks for letting me use your Prime login.
	I appreciate you.
	I'm moshing it up.
	She says, you know, I do want to talk about the kind of support you're giving our children.
	And then he's like, oh yeah, you want to get more, take me to court, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	You know how to fine me.
	You know where to go to the lawyer.
	And she's like, uh, I'm not talking about that kind of support.
	I'm talking about spiritual support or something like that.
	And it's like, obviously this like loaded line in, in the, in the script to make him seem like a bad dad.
	But she's like, how would, why would you phrase it like that?
	I want to talk about the kind of support you're giving your kids.
	When we were talking about child support.
	It's a very awkward line meant just to like... Yeah, it's not working.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, his oldest son wants to go to Haiti as a missionary and Kevin Sorbo's character just makes fun of him and also the people of Haiti.
	Yeah, he was like, why are you going to go dig holes for them?
	Can't they dig their own holes?
	What are you doing?
	That's so funny.
	That's such a funny criticism of the missionary objective.
	Like, Kevin Sorbo, who's this world-renowned atheist, presumably anti-Christian, I mean very, not even presumably, demonstrably anti-Christian, his criticism of the missionary work is like, what a waste of time!
	It's not like imperialism, Or, you know, exploitation or anything like that.
	It's just like, you're a mark, man.
	You're going to dig holes for free?
	And I like that whole scene too, because like, you don't really need both parent signatures to go places.
	Like, that's not a thing.
	He's like, I need you to sign this piece of paper.
	Yeah.
	Like, I need to go to Haiti.
	And he's like, I don't know, bud.
	And the kid's just like pleading with him.
	The kid is like, well, I'm not asking you to believe in me, or I'm not asking you to believe in God.
	I'm asking you to believe in me.
	And Kevin Sorbo is owned, rightfully owned.
	And he says, okay, okay, champ.
	I think it's very funny that they chose Haiti.
	Yeah.
	Here.
	Because like, It's like a popular, like, missionary spot for, like, young Christian kids, I think, right?
	You know who else it's a popular spot for?
	Who?
	The Clinton Foundation.
	That's like... Oh, okay, yeah.
	That's like all... I mean, maybe they're trying to own the Clinton Foundation by giving them real help with... in the form of Bibles or something like that, but I don't know.
	In these right-wing spaces, whenever I see Haiti, it's just a way of, like, talking about Hillary Clinton.
	That's such an amazing coded thing that only you, the well-seasoned mind, would know off the top of your head.
	Well, the Clinton Foundation did fuck over Haiti, but... Absolutely, yeah.
	That's like... I don't know what it's doing in this movie.
	But also, this is after one of, I think, the better lines that...
	I don't because the wife kind of comes off as almost being like unreasonable with the whole spirituality thing right but she does deliver the line saying like oh cool like are you enjoying making all this money off of our dead son?
	Yeah, that's a real line.
	That's a real line.
	She's like, how do you think it makes your other sons feel that like our dead son Davey is part of your like circus act or whatever?
	Yeah.
	And that's like one of the only real moments of, I don't know, believable conflict in this.
	Yeah.
	Where I can see both sides of the issue.
	I can see him saying, I had this thing happen to me personally, which is my son's death.
	It's a big fucking deal.
	My son suffered, etc.
	How am I supposed to believe in God when that happened?
	But then also your family being like, hey, we don't like hearing about that all the time.
	Yeah yeah for real.
	Especially when you're like grabbing your cock on stage and like doing a Gene Simmons tongue out thing.
	Yeah because like whatever happened that you know led to them getting divorced because you know they can't if one of them is an atheist they can no longer be married under the eyes of God so that was instant like you know get the you know instantly done there so.
	That's kind of all insinuated there.
	It's weird.
	So he's at the post-debate party, I guess?
	The book release party for his next book, yeah.
	Is it the book release party?
	I think it's just the debate party.
	It's hard to tell.
	It's the next night.
	It's the next night, but there's a fucking sign that they had printed up, like a banner that they had printed up that says, Dr. Harkins compares Christianity to ISIS.
	Like there's a there's a banner.
	Yeah.
	Like a promotional banner that is promoting the controversy that he made at the previous night.
	He has really good publicists.
	That's made really clear in this movie.
	His agent and his publicist are like the two other kind of main two of the other main figures in his life and his publicists or his agent's main characterization is that he says darling before and after every sentence.
	Yeah.
	I think I counted like 23 darlings out of this guy.
	Easily.
	And He's at the debate party and his publicist says she has an interview with Diane Sawyer lined up and quote, this whole ISIS is no different than the Christian church has gone viral, baby.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And this is like the way we're dealing with like, you know, careerism and, and, uh, the nature of like the atheist grift.
	Like that's, that's a lot of what this movie is about is, is the atheist grift.
	And it being a Diane Sawyer interview is kind of an important thing too because right now he's an atheist and Diane Sawyer wants him on.
	Interview lined up, which is a big deal, but it's not nearly as big of a deal as what happens later on in the movie.
	Um, that's a very, very big deal.
	What's a Diane Sawyer?
	Why is that a big deal?
	Cause she wouldn't talk to atheists or what?
	No, no, no.
	Cause I think she would talk to atheists.
	Okay.
	Cause she's part of the liberal media.
	Exactly.
	Yeah.
	Got it.
	Like, like he's, she's going to help him do a puff piece.
	You know?
	Yeah.
	That's kind of how it feels.
	He's like overtly drinking the whole time at this party.
	He's double fisting champagne.
	And he has a line, champagne, anything to kill the pain.
	Oh my God, I forgot about that line.
	Nobody laughs at that.
	And then he's got a like Russian supermodel who's there as his girlfriend, but she fucking hates him.
	It's like very obvious.
	She's like rolling her eyes at everything he says.
	This actress who plays the Russian supermodel, not Russian.
	It's one of the worst Russian accents I've ever heard.
	I recognized her name, her actress name.
	I just didn't know if she was Russian or not.
	I do like her character though because they actually didn't make her like a bimbo or just like a sex object.
	Like, she's kind of a strong character in the movie.
	Well, she's rolling her eyes at the right things.
	Like, she's right to be contemptuous of this character, but it's like, why are you with him there, though?
	That's what I don't... It just... It more seemed to me like she was a straw man for, like, the bitch girlfriend who is, like, doesn't care about anything and only cares about herself or something.
	Yeah, I got I kind of got that but I think she was like also kind of trying to project that on him like the whole goal was that to make him look that way too like he doesn't care about anything but himself because yeah she's talking about her like career and opportunities how she can't hang out that night because she has something to do and she definitely doesn't hang out with him if he's drinking the way he is and he's like doesn't listen to any of it And is like shocked when she in fact does not go home with him.
	Yeah.
	She's like, yeah, what the fuck are you talking about?
	Like I got, I got an appointment tomorrow.
	Like fuck off.
	I like that part.
	Yeah.
	She's doing a photo shoot.
	She's doing like a big photo shoot the next day.
	It's going to like be a big career moment for her.
	Uh, and he doesn't care.
	He's not like paying attention.
	He's just drinking a lot and he drives home, you know, she won't go home with him.
	So he drives home alone and he's drinking like half a pint of vodka while he's driving.
	And he crashes the car and then goes into like a time tunnel that looks like the Windows screensaver orb that's made up of your photos folder.
	That's actually what the inside of the Vortex from Donnie Darko looks like.
	Is where he was, was the inside of that vortex.
	And it's just like a kaleidoscope of like family photos and barbecues and shit.
	Yeah, yeah.
	He sees his dead son Davey and he hugs him and the kid like annoyingly, this is a really annoying kid by the way, I'm sorry, but this kid is like, oh boy.
	Dead kids should be dead.
	Anytime a dead kid does anything, that's pretty annoying.
	This kid is just way too bright and happy with a lisp and smiling, mouth open, ear to ear, just looks like a death mask of a smiling child.
	And he says, let there be light!
	Yeah.
	And the dad, Kevin Sorbo, is like, I don't get it, what?
	He's like, let there be light, daddy!
	Um, and then he just keeps saying it.
	And then he says, it's not your time, daddy.
	Uh, and then Kevin Sorbo's, uh, gets like, uh, what do you call it?
	Like Avengers end game snapped into nonexistence.
	Yeah, totally.
	Thanos snapped.
	His fingers start fading away.
	And then you hear the kid like saying again, like, let there be light.
	And it's like echoing and fading.
	And it really just reminded me of the all dogs go to heaven.
	You can never come back.
	Like, it's like, it's exactly that moment and I kind of wish that's what he was saying.
	Except for like, this didn't make me cry.
	So, we pull back to reality, okay?
	Kevin Sorbo wakes up in a hospital.
	The doctor says, this is a doctor thing to say, the doctor says, it's a miracle.
	It's a miracle.
	You were clinically dead in the ambulance for four minutes.
	Evidently, it just wasn't your time.
	Yes.
	Kevin Sorbo is like a stubborn atheist so he's like whatever doc fuck you I don't care if you're smart and you say that it was a miracle or if it wasn't my time I'm gonna be a pig-headed atheist.
	No, he's like rattled.
	Sorbo is rattled from this experience.
	His agent and his publicist come into the hospital room and he tells his agent I saw Davey And his agent says, uh, I'm sorry.
	Can you say that again?
	One more time?
	In English.
	Uh, and he, like, elaborates that he saw Davey in a time tunnel or whatever.
	And his agent, like, instead of being like, oh, that's like a beautiful dream.
	Like, yeah.
	Beautiful.
	I'm glad you got to see him.
	He says, his agent immediately says, please forget all of this.
	You have to, you have to lie.
	You have to forget you ever experienced this.
	If you just stay who you are, this could be your biggest payday, darling.
	Which I love.
	This part of the movie is what makes it not a real movie to me.
	This is the part of the movie that's the most unbelievable part of this movie.
	You can't do this.
	You have to stay atheist.
	That's your money maker.
	You have to keep it the way it is.
	Give any illusion any type of any type of like conversion miracle type thing at all.
	Yeah, not even yeah, you can't do it totally like so stupid because obviously Obviously you have to do it, like that's where the money's at.
	We'll get into it I think a little later when he does make the conversion.
	But this to me is like the fundamental flaw of this movie.
	It's like, it's doing the I saw heaven thing.
	It's doing like the I died and I saw heaven and I talked to grandpa and I saw our dog skip or whatever.
	It's doing that thing.
	Which has already been done a million times.
	Yeah.
	The thing has been done to death, okay?
	But this is like the pivotal, like, this is the basically the plot of the movie.
	The only thing that's different is that he was like an avowed atheist, a very popular pop atheist before that.
	Even his agent is like, oh shit, no, not this.
	Like, not this plot, please.
	Like, his atheist, already, his atheistic agent already, like, recognizes the, uh, what do you call it?
	The, like, trope.
	Yeah.
	He recognizes the trope, the stereotype, the hack move of dying and seeing heaven and like reforming your entire world around that.
	And he's like trying to nip it in the bud right here.
	He's like, no, no, we got to lean into atheism.
	We got to be like, no, I would have died if I did believe in God.
	We got to lean into it.
	Well, he just like knows what happens.
	He knows what happens when people have a, what is definitely not a dream, What is definitely not like a synaptic experience.
	This is definitely a real thing that happens to real people.
	They die and they see heaven and then they become Christians.
	Yeah, every time.
	And it's just it I don't know it's just funny because in any rational world you would just be like oh like that's a beautiful dream but like in the reality of this world it's like oh no we know what that means.
	We know what it means if you saw your dead son while your eyes were closed.
	We're done here.
	We gotta close up shop.
	His agent tells him that he can be bigger than Bill Maher.
	Yep.
	And Kevin Sorbo says, why?
	Because I'm taller than he is?
	And then his agent says, darling, the mayor of Munchkin City is taller than he is.
	Which I didn't know about that.
	I didn't know that Bill Maher's like short.
	I didn't know about that either.
	They're just going in on Bill Maher and I fucking love it.
	Yeah.
	Just taking a moment, taking a detour from the script to just like fucking mock Bill Maher, which I appreciate.
	Uh, no, it's because you're the only one who crossed over and can say, I was right.
	Meaning I was right that there is no God.
	There is no son Davey waiting for me.
	You can say with authority that there is no heaven or whatever.
	If you lie, if you lie about your experience, that's, this could be the biggest thing for you, basically.
	See, that's what I thought was really interesting is that he took the, he decided to like take the path of.
	I died and saw God and God is my son Davey.
	I thought that was an interesting choice.
	But I like it though.
	It's more personalized.
	So they're getting ready to leave the hospital.
	The publicist says there are going to be reporters.
	So this is his publicist now.
	She says there are going to be reporters out there.
	What are you going to say when they ask you if you had a near-death experience?
	And I just thought, I thought this was so funny too, like, just in this realm, like, oh, you went to the hospital.
	What are you going to say when the doctors asked you if you saw heaven?
	Yeah.
	Or the reporters, rather.
	We gotta go through this.
	Yeah, we gotta go through this.
	The reporters are definitely gonna ask you if you went to heaven.
	They're definitely gonna ask you if your name was in the book of life.
	They're gonna ask you these hard-hitting questions because that's what happens when people have an accident.
	Yeah.
	They're gonna ask you if you saw, like, their parents.
	You know?
	One of the reporters then literally asks, yells at Kevin Sorbo, did you see the tunnel of light?
	Yeah, yeah, which I love.
	Because I've never even heard it described as like a tunnel of light.
	Like, I mean, I've heard it, like, the light at the end of the tunnel, I guess, is what it's called, but I always imagine that being like a pinhole of light, right?
	Well, it's just, I mean, like, yeah, I guess a tunnel of light, like, I've heard people describing that, but it's just insane that that's like a phrase.
	Oh, the tunnel, did you see that capital T tunnel of capital L light that we all know about and talk about and discuss?
	It's more like a tube actually.
	Like you're inside of a tube.
	It's no flat bottom.
	It's just... Was it an escalator or a staircase, sir?
	What did you see on the other side?
	Well I couldn't be sure because I think that my memory was paused.
	I think the scene was paused.
	So those stairs could have moved at any second.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, it's very hard to tell in a dreamlike state.
	Okay, so he has his press conference.
	His agent and publicist are like pressuring him to do this press conference to say, hey, no, I don't believe in God.
	God is fucked up and stupid.
	I don't believe in that guy.
	I died and even then I said, fuck you, God, and he didn't even show his face.
	Um, they want him to say this.
	He's having second thoughts though.
	He's already like kind of having his own doubts.
	He really thinks that this, this dream happened, thinks that this was like an actual, uh, you know, you know, uh, near death experience, I guess is what we're calling it in this.
	So, they make him do this press conference, and this is like his quote, audition for the talk show, I guess, which he's going to get his Bill Maher-esque atheist talk show if he nails this press conference.
	Where, yeah, he has to prove he's an atheist still by denying he had a dream about his dead son.
	He's reading from the teleprompter saying, hey, I didn't hear church bells.
	I didn't see pearly gates.
	But then when he gets to the part where he's supposed to say, I didn't see any dearly departed.
	Yeah.
	He can't do it.
	He addresses his wife who is in the audience for some reason, his ex-wife.
	I keep calling her his wife.
	Yeah.
	She is his ex-wife.
	Uh, who is in the audience.
	He says, hates these things.
	She hates these things.
	She hates him.
	She hates these things.
	I don't know why she's there.
	She said, he says to her, Katie, I saw our son.
	I saw Davey and the audience gasps.
	A woman literally puts her hand to her mouth.
	Yep, yep.
	Because they all know what this means.
	They all know that that means that heaven is real.
	If he fucking saw his son while he was passed out unconscious, that means he saw heaven.
	Is this before or after he like falls out?
	Does he fall out before he says, Katie, I saw our son?
	He says this and the very next thing is he breaks down like he's having a heart attack and he screams and then his wife goes, oh my gosh!
	Which is a great line reading.
	It's like she read some like a somewhat serious newspaper article headline.
	She's like, oh my gosh!
	And he like, he gets down on his knees and he like pats the side of the podium that he's... Yeah, he comes over to the side of the podium.
	He's behind the podium.
	But when he falls out, he has to like do it like in front of the audience, I guess.
	So he's like facing the side of the podium and he's like slapping it.
	Yeah, he like taps it with his hand.
	It's very funny.
	He's like in agony.
	He's just in agony.
	Uh, so he goes to the hospital again, back in the hospital.
	Uh, his doctor is, uh, the chief of medicine.
	Uh, she introduces herself as the chief of medicine and neurology and says that she's a big fan of his.
	Uh, and then she says, I'm halfway through aborting God and I love it.
	Which is, I love that line because you could take that out of context and it sounds really cool.
	I'm halfway through Aborting God and boy do I love it.
	We just gotta move a few more pieces and then we're done.
	Katie is again there for some reason and she urges Saul to ask her doctor about his near-death experience.
	The doctor says, oh well, That's what we call a death surge.
	I think she calls it, right?
	That's what it's called in any medical book.
	We all know about the death surge.
	It's the death surge and you know it's basically what happens is your pineal gland releases all the adrenochrome that Hillary Clinton hasn't been able to suck out yet and that gets you really fucking high and then you see a bunch of stuff and you know and he's like okay thanks doc and he tells his wife Listen, I know that's not what happened because I've gotten high before.
	You know me.
	I've done acid.
	I've done acid.
	I've done acid so I know what hallucinations were like and this was real.
	This was not a hallucination.
	No.
	Incredible.
	Katie takes him back to his apartment, his ex-wife takes him back to his apartment, and they have a conversation next to a poster of a previous book cover of his.
	He's got posters of himself all over his apartment.
	They're mostly like book covers, blown-up book covers.
	The title of this book with his face on it, wouldn't you know it, is Hercules, colon, More Real Than God?
	Yep.
	I love that.
	That was so good.
	That was a rewind moment.
	Like, did I see that?
	Hercules.
	There it is.
	Yep.
	Um, it's good because it's like, it would be like a funny joke, you know, quote, funny joke for the director to include as like a nod to Kevin Sorbo.
	But then you remember that the director is Kevin Sorbo.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Maybe he was like, was he always a Christian or was he born again after Hercules?
	I couldn't tell you.
	Because I feel like he was probably just like slaying when he was Hercules.
	He was probably out there running amok.
	That's when you should do it.
	Because his kids aren't that old.
	That's when you should be an atheist is when you're starring in Hercules.
	Yeah, that's probably the best time when you're either like a Hercules or like a warrior princess.
	That's probably the best time to like go full atheist.
	Yeah.
	Polytheist is probably a safer move for Actually, because you got to acknowledge the gods of ancient times.
	Could be polytheist, polyamorous.
	It's all good.
	So Katie says, Katie agrees that he definitely saw Davey like in the afterlife.
	Like he definitely saw the Davey.
	Yeah.
	And she'll be back tomorrow night to talk about it.
	Okay.
	And he says, you don't have to do that.
	And she says, not everything is about you, Saul.
	Burn.
	And it's just it's funny because it's like she's coming back to talk to him about his experience.
	But then she's going to have some agency in this moment by saying not everything is about you.
	So this is about me.
	I want to be here for you.
	Like, that's what the line means.
	That's what the line is.
	It's like a half-hearted attempt to give her some sort of personality or agency or responsibility, but it still just exists to revolve around him.
	Absolutely.
	Yeah, she's not a great character.
	She's barely a character and she fucking co-wrote this film.
	Yeah, it's insane.
	She comes over the next night when they were, you know, planning on meeting, and he's drunk as heck.
	So she immediately starts mothering him, taking away the vodka that he's drinking, pouring it down the sink, instead of, like, I don't know, getting the fuck out of there.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	You go over to your ex-husband's house, who you have, like, very complicated feelings about, many of which are, you know, aversion to him and his self-destructive lifestyle, his, like, completely cringe personality.
	You're willing to, like, work on this or, like, share an experience and you go over there and he's just fucking plastered out of his mind and you're like, oh, I'm gonna take care of this guy.
	The way that his sons respond to him, It seems like she's probably not safe being there when he's drunk.
	You know what I mean?
	He probably has a history.
	But there she is, you know.
	He's like coddling him.
	Yeah, she pours the vodka down the sink.
	She's like, you know, sit down, mister, kind of a thing.
	And you see, this is when you see like the other book titles on the wall.
	He also has an Andy Warhol style 4x4 grid of his own face painting on the wall.
	What was I going to say here?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So he's like, he's frazzled.
	He can't figure out what to do.
	He doesn't know where to go with like this knowledge that he definitely saw his dead son.
	Katie tentatively suggests talking to her pastor.
	Uh, and, uh, he says, uh, if I could just get some sleep, I'd feel better.
	Uh, to which Katie replies, I'll hold you and you'll sleep.
	Uh, and she puts his head in her lap.
	Uh, and I felt a little bad before referring to her behavior as, like, mothering him or whatever.
	Yeah.
	But she literally, like, is like, come here baby.
	Come here ex-husband who, like, tortured this family through his own ego and, like, weird ass, like, Cringe midlife crisis rock and roll bullshit.
	Come here, baby.
	Put your head on my lap.
	I'm going to stay awake while you go to sleep.
	Yeah.
	And I'll see myself out because I don't live here.
	Let's continue.
	She doesn't stay there.
	She leaves at some point.
	He wakes up.
	She's gone.
	He wakes up to his agent calling him, telling him that he's got a one-on-one interview with the New York Times style editor or something.
	He doesn't want to do it because he's still very uncertain of what he believes.
	And he just says I don't know I don't know to the to the journalist, you know, she's not happy about the interview She's pissed off.
	He calls off the interview and then he does like some soul-searching on location in New York City and then visits a church Okay, and we get to the best part of this movie, which is pastor Vinny No, hold on real quick real quick when he blows off the reporter she's upset because She put off an interview with Keith Richards to do this interview with him, and he then blew off.
	I love that.
	Who's interviewing Keith Richards in 2017?
	Who's popular right now?
	Let's see.
	Who's like a big deal that she could have had instead of Dr. Harkins?
	Who's like a big-ass rock star?
	Oh, I know.
	Keith Richards.
	Yeah, he's a pretty big deal.
	She could have been talking to fucking Paul McCartney right now.
	Which I mean, like, would be a big interview, but it also probably wouldn't be in the style, like, you know.
	You also don't, you also, like, first of all, who interviews Keith Richards?
	But second of all, who moves that interview aside for this guy?
	This guy we've been led to believe is the most popular non-Christian.
	Not even the most popular atheist, but the most popular person who's not a Christian in the world.
	He's got a cult following.
	He visits a church, which turns out to be his ex-wife's church.
	Which is headed by a man named Pastor Vinny.
	Okay?
	Pastor Vinny is played by a real life ex-mafia guy turned public speaker named Michael Franzese.
	This guy, like, made millions in the mafia, went to prison for 10 years, uh, came out and became a public speaker.
	- And he's genuinely like the best actor in this movie. - When I text you that, I was like, holy shit.
	And then you're like, no, he's real.
	And I'm like, no fucking way.
	It's an incredible moment when you realize that.
	And you said he owns the screen.
	He's really, I mean, typical.
	You know how his Italian Americans are on the screen.
	If you want it done right, if you want real raw acting on the screen, you get yourself an Italian American.
	He goes up to the church and this very Italian guy is painting a fence.
	And Kevin Sorbo says, you know, hey, I'm looking for Pastor Vinnie.
	Or I'm looking for the office.
	And Pastor Vinnie's like, yeah, it's over there.
	It's right over there.
	But you won't find Pastor Vinnie in there.
	Kevin Sorbo's like, oh, why?
	Where is he?
	Hey, he's painting a fence.
	And then he taught, he tells him his story.
	Oh yeah.
	And then Kevin Sorbo says, Oh, you're not what I expected.
	It's like his fucking name is Pastor Vinny.
	What the fuck did you expect?
	The only way I would be shocked is if Pastor Vinny turned out to be like Pastor Snooki instead.
	It's a Jersey Shore reference.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Vinny Snooki.
	Okay.
	I get you now.
	He's talking to Kevin Sorbo and he's telling him about his like road to redemption and, and his personal Christian journey.
	And he talks about how he went to prison for 10 years and he was in solitary confinement.
	And he's like, you know what book they gave me in solitary confinement?
	And Sorbo's like, I bet it wasn't one of my books.
	And he's all, that's right.
	It was the holy fricking Bible over here.
	When he calls himself a wise guy.
	Yeah, he calls himself a wise guy.
	I was a wise guy.
	Yeah.
	I was a wise, that's what I did.
	I was a wise guy.
	I did wise guy things.
	And he says he like memorized the Bible, not because he believed in it, but it was just like something to do.
	Or he was like, I was like, I'm a wise guy.
	I, I want to know the front and the back.
	I don't just believe shit.
	I'm a wise guy.
	You know, you don't just, you don't just catch me.
	I wasn't born yesterday.
	Uh, you know, I, I gotta, I gotta have proof.
	And so he says, you know, what got me the empty tomb?
	What happened to the body?
	It's like Al Capone's vault over here.
	He says, and I didn't understand because you know, like, I don't know if you know this, but Romans are Italians.
	And then he says, like, all Italian.
	He's like, you can find a rat.
	He's like, the Romans, they were looking for this guy.
	They were looking for this guy, Jesus.
	And you know what?
	The Romans were Italian and they know how to make people rat.
	Okay.
	They know how to make people rat.
	Then he could squeeze out a rat.
	But they couldn't get anybody to rat on this mook, Jesus.
	And you know why?
	Because there was nobody.
	It's incredible.
	It was like Jimmy Hoffa.
	Where's this guy?
	And Saul is like, wow, yeah, I don't know what happened to the body.
	That's a good point.
	That's a good point.
	I've literally never even looked at the Bible.
	Is that what happens in the Bible?
	It's so funny to me because he asks this question, he's like, what happened to the body?
	What happened to the body, Saul?
	And Saul's like, I don't know.
	I really don't.
	And it's like, it's a fucking story that people wrote.
	You know what happened to the body?
	Yeah.
	You know what happened to the body, which is what they wrote in the story, which is he came back to life, okay?
	It's just a very weird question.
	The tomb was empty because the tomb was full of tigers.
	I don't get this reference.
	Don't spoil it for me.
	Don't spoil the Tiger Kitty Show for me, okay?
	Because it was full of tigers, that's why.
	Okay.
	He says, yeah, oh, oh, dude, we missed the best part.
	Because when Saul's explaining, like, why this is, like, what happened to Jesus, he says, follow me here, alright?
	It's not brain surgery.
	Follow me here.
	Jesus gets whacked, right?
	He just gets whacked.
	Yo, Jesus gets bumped off.
	He pissed off the wrong people.
	He talked to the wrong guys.
	Which happens on Friday.
	Which happens this Friday, dude.
	Are you ready?
	They're gonna whack Jesus on Friday.
	They seal him up in a tomb, tighter than a cement drum.
	And then they remove the stone, and BADA-BING!
	The body disappears!
	This is verbatim.
	That's what he says.
	Fucking Bada-Bing.
	The body disappears.
	Which is good, because we need authentic Italian representation in this movie.
	I appreciate this.
	And this is blowing Saul's mind.
	he is like holy shit that is a miracle you're telling me god disappeared you're telling me jesus fucking his body disappeared from the tomb that shit's crazy It reminds me, I think I've mentioned it before on the show, but my favorite Chick track is the one where it's a guy proselytizing to another guy in prison.
	Or, sorry, in a hospital bed.
	And he says, you know, when you were doing those bad things, when you're doing those crimes, like Jesus saw that.
	And Jesus knows about it.
	And the guy in the hospital bed freaks the fuck out.
	And says, you know what you're saying?
	Are you telling me Jesus is God?
	It's like, I don't know how you came, like, that's your reaction?
	Like, you know about God.
	You know that God is a real guy who sees everything.
	And your shock, your, like, otherworldly, out-of-body experience is the revelation that Jesus is God.
	That God has a different name and it's Jesus also.
	Well, those are all written by children.
	Like, you know?
	So that's just what it reminds me of like, oh my god.
	Wow.
	Jesus really disappeared.
	That's fucking crazy I've literally never heard the story of the resurrection Yeah, and I would just be I don't know if I had gone to this preacher About this thing.
	I would be like, oh, that's cool.
	Can you just tell me how to see my son again?
	Can you like tell me how to like what like fucking spell I have to say to like bring my Bring my son back to life.
	Can you like is there a is there a pet cemetery somewhere around here?
	Yeah I just need to speak to him.
	It doesn't have to be like fully intact body.
	We just need to speak to him.
	Like how many Hail Marys do I have to say to bring my son back to life?
	Yeah.
	Like I gotta like rub the beads and shit.
	I gotta like what do I gotta do?
	Yeah.
	So then the pastor is explaining what let there be light means because part of this is like Kevin Sorbo's character, Saul Harkins, like heard, let there be light.
	And he's like, God, I don't know what it means.
	Oh my God.
	It's running through my head.
	What could it, this literal Bible verse that has a meaning in the Bible, what could that mean?
	And the pastor explains it using like completely metaphorical new age nonsense from the New Testament.
	Like he, it's not, he doesn't say, Oh, that's when like God created the earth and said, let there be light and said that the light was good.
	No, he's like, Jesus is the light, right?
	This is what it means.
	Jesus is the light.
	And what day was Jesus born on?
	What is Christmas?
	Yeah.
	And he's like, I don't know, it's a fucking holiday, dude.
	And he's like, no, Christmas is the darkest day of the year.
	And that's the day that Jesus was born, to bring light.
	And it's like, well, maybe if you're like in this hemisphere of the earth, it is.
	Exactly.
	I love that part.
	It's darkest day of the year.
	Yeah.
	He's like, we need to bring his light in.
	That's no, that's no coincidence, Maron.
	It's not like really an Italian thing, but, uh, no, uh, then he calls ISIS a cult of death because we got to keep like referring back to ISIS and ISIS is like the opposite of Christianity.
	ISIS is a cult of death and how do you combat a cult of death with a cult of love with a religion of love or whatever?
	People of Light.
	He talks about like how Jesus said to love your enemy bro and that's not what ISIS says and it's like well we're like ISIS is our enemy and like we've been trying to kill them for 10 years so like hard like I don't think we exactly love them right I mean it's just a it's there's a lot of these throwaway lines that just if you think about them for a second they're just like immediately contradicted by reality but
	I was shocked how they kept ISIS coming up throughout the entire movie.
	It feels weird.
	So this is 2017, right?
	So ISIS is still a big deal and not completely overshadowed by domestic affairs like we currently are.
	He gives Saul, this is like the climax of the scene, he gives Saul the same exact reasoning as the pastor, as the Christian philosopher from the debate, from the first scene of the movie.
	He says, listen, God gave up his only son because he loved the world so much.
	Think about how much God must love you if he let you see your son again.
	And Saul is like, oh my God, you're right.
	Like, I'm so stoked.
	I got to see my dead son for like half a second when my brain was dead.
	That must mean God loves me.
	And he breaks down crying and saying, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
	And Pastor Vinny's like, that's right.
	You're God.
	Dude, Pastor Vinny fucking rules, dude.
	He owns this movie.
	He's on it.
	He's on it.
	He's like himself.
	Like, I have no doubt in my mind that that is exactly what Pastor Vinny is like in real life.
	Effortless performance.
	The best part about that logic, though, is like, no, actually, what you're saying is that, you know, you get to see your son one more time, but, like, God, like, permanently killed his and brought him home forever.
	They get to kick it all the time.
	Yeah, dude, you got cucked by God.
	Yeah.
	This is like, you get to see God having fun with your son in the time time.
	Yeah.
	Like that's what you're allowed to look at.
	God plays catch with your son now.
	Yeah.
	God's going to teach your son how to ride a bike with two wheels.
	God, God bought you like a nice penthouse apartment so he can have all the free time he wants with your son.
	Yeah.
	Um, yeah, but he gets, yeah, this is like the, and also he says, um, God, like, God gave you this moment because what better person to convince of God's love than the most popular atheist in the world?
	You think this is an accident, bro?
	You think your car accident was an accident?
	Like he says, this is how much God loves you.
	He lets you see your son.
	And it's actually, it was just to change the mind of the world's most famous atheist to like have this like huge public conversion.
	You're basically going to be the Tom Cruise of Christianity.
	You're going to be like Tom Cruise.
	What Tom Cruise is to Scientology.
	And it's like, okay, I guess that's, yeah, he's got me or whatever.
	He let me see my son one time.
	And that's what gets me about this movie.
	So this Christian movie, right?
	It's not about anything besides changing the mind of someone in the media who is popular and doesn't like Christians.
	Yeah.
	It's not about, you know, an overarching Christian mission of like spreading love, spreading peace, spreading, I don't know, solidarity, spreading life or whatever.
	It's about being more popular.
	Yeah.
	That's what this fucking movie, it's like this selfish, childish fantasy.
	And that's what a lot of these are like.
	That's what a lot of these are like.
	And it reminds me of like, you know, that cartoon, like, it's like the live action religious version of that cartoon where the kid gets grounded by his parents and then fantasizes about saving them from cannibals.
	And like, wouldn't they be sorry with how they treated me?
	Yeah.
	Like what if they were they were stolen and kidnapped and I was the only one who could save them?
	Wouldn't they feel stupid about it?
	And that's like what this movie is.
	This movie is like wouldn't it own so hard if like Bill Maher had to like Take back everything he said on his HBO show?
	That's the ultimate modern American Christian fantasy, is that Bill Maher has to go on real time, live, in front of HBO.
	The producers can't cut it because God has stayed their hands.
	And he has to tell the world that he was wrong.
	And he has to get down on his knees and beg the forgiveness of Christians everywhere for making fun of them.
	And that's what this movie is.
	That's all this fucking movie is.
	And it's so fucking weird.
	Because like, there is no, there is no like really, that's the only story arc that, that's the only thing that changes is that.
	Everything else is kind of like, he doesn't sacrifice anything really.
	He doesn't really give anything up.
	I guess he gives up his clout of saying that he is an atheist, but he doesn't really lose anything.
	We're jumping ahead, but he starts a fucking worldwide movement.
	He gives up his being the edgy atheist, but he starts a literal pan-national Christian movement.
	Well yeah, because after this scene right here, the movie just takes off at breakneck speed.
	Stuff happens So fast, after this moment with the pastor.
	Yeah, and it's just, this is like the Christian conservative fantasy movie.
	Like, oh, they're all gonna be fucking ashamed that they laughed at you.
	Like, that's all it is.
	He gets baptized in a creek by the mafia dude, by Pastor Vinny.
	This creek that's like by a street in a neighborhood?
	It's like by a parking lot?
	Yeah, it's a really weird creek.
	He runs off to play with the youngest son and the oldest son who's like 13, he's like a really annoying age, like whatever that annoying age is, he's like 13 or 14.
	The son looks at the mom and says, be careful mom, one day at a time.
	Yep.
	And the mom is like, oh you, and it's like your son is like talking down to you as his mother, as an adult.
	Also, your son is a little shithead, but he's the only person that really is making any sense in this whole thing.
	No, yeah, that's true.
	He's a shithead, though.
	He's a total little asshole.
	He's doing it in an abrasive, wretched way, but yeah, that's true.
	So they have a family meeting.
	Sorbo apologizes for making fun of them for being Christian, which is great.
	He's like, I mocked you guys and your faith, and I'm sorry.
	And then the oldest son says that the mom prayed for him every night.
	The oldest son is like having a heart man to man with Kevin Sorbo's character.
	And he's like, listen, this means a lot to mom.
	This better not be a scam or something.
	Because at this point, they're going to go on a date.
	They're going to have a dinner.
	They're going to have food.
	No, I don't think they haven't set up the date yet.
	No, because that's what the son's talking about.
	The son's like, hey, mom's excited about this.
	Mom's excited about his conversion.
	That's a different family meeting.
	Oh, damn.
	Okay, my bad.
	There's another family meeting that's more... Jesus Christ.
	Yeah.
	For families not together, they have a lot of meetings.
	But it's just, she prayed for him every night.
	Her ex-husband.
	Like, imagine praying out loud for your ex-husband in front of your kids every night.
	That's such a shitty move I didn't think about.
	Awful, just awful, awful people.
	So they reiterate the point that like Kevin Sorbo is now supposed to spread the light of Jesus.
	Let there be light, right?
	And he is talking to Katie.
	They're having like a meeting about his Christianity again at his apartment.
	And he says, these are the letters that saved my life.
	Is it with her?
	No, that's with the interviewer.
	The interviewer comes back.
	They get a second shot with the interviewer.
	Yeah, and this is obviously the bigger scoop.
	This isn't, oh, a famous atheist is releasing another atheist book and he said some more incendiary shit about Christians.
	This is most popular atheist has a come-to-Jesus moment, right?
	Yeah.
	And he's talking to her and he says, uh, these are the letters that saved my life.
	And he has like a whiteboard with the letters written on it or something.
	It's like a scratch paper.
	Okay.
	And at no point do they ever like refer to this in the acronym at all.
	Like it's always let there be light.
	There's never an acronym, but all of a sudden out of nowhere, they're like these letters.
	And it's like, no one, no one knows what the kid didn't say letters.
	The kid says They're already branding it.
	They're already marketing it.
	That's what this is.
	It's a hashtag.
	It's like a hashtag or it's a t-shirt.
	It's an N-O-T-W thing.
	That's exactly what this is.
	That makes sense.
	He had this epiphany and he was like, alright, what's hip?
	What's a good way to make some scratch off this?
	He says, these are the letters that saved my life.
	L-T-B-L.
	And the interviewer says, uh, lesbian, trans, bi?
	Yeah.
	Yep.
	It's a huge, huge laugh line.
	And he says, no.
	And then she goes, uh, liquor, tits, beer.
	Yeah.
	More liquor.
	He's like, no, no, no, no, no.
	Let there be light.
	The agent is witnessing this like you know interview and he's like gushing to her and he's back to his like confident self he's back to his like confident cocky self kind of like letting you know letting her little jabs or her little questions like roll off of him and he's just taking everything in stride and she's extremely grateful for this interview it's a big scoop you know and his agent is there watching this and just like biting his fist you know
	And he's pissed at Saul, and he fires Saul.
	This is to your points, Tony.
	He says, you know, you're selling a book.
	You could have been the biggest thing, but now I have to fire you because you're a dumbass piece of shit.
	Or whatever.
	He flames him.
	He flames him so hard, he shits on him.
	He shits on him.
	He says, I, you just lost me money.
	Like this is like my career.
	And like, I've been relying on you for money and whatever, as if this wouldn't be the biggest, like cash grab in the, in real life, as if this wouldn't be, you wouldn't be an instant conservative celebrity.
	If you did this shit, this is what we say.
	This is like what I say about Tony, like Tony, if Tony, if you, Tony, Went to like any, went to just Facebook.
	If you just went to Facebook, maybe a conservative group and said, Hey, I used to be a fucking communist.
	I was on a podcast.
	I'm black.
	I used to hate cops, uh, et cetera, et cetera.
	Now I fricking love Trump and Jesus.
	I love me, Trump, Jesus, cops.
	Instant celebrity.
	And this dude, and you're not even like, you know, you're a little famous, but you're not that famous.
	Imagine this level of famous, like, and you'd, you'd, you'd be made, you'd be set for life.
	Anyway, he, the, the, uh, the agent is like, tells him he wish, he wishes, uh, Dr. Harkins had died in the car accident.
	He wishes he died in a car accident.
	Like this, this character I like because, um, They kind of surround him, when he's an atheist, they kind of surround him with anybody who like sympathizes with him is either, you know, potentially queer or like a person of color.
	Like the doctor who liked his book is like a person of color.
	He, you know, at least I think they're projecting him to be gay.
	And his other, the agent is a black woman.
	The publicist is a black woman.
	The publicist is a black woman.
	But this is only because he's an atheist, it feels like.
	It feels like he's only surrounded by this group of people because he's an atheist.
	And it really shows his colors here, when he is this awful, soulless...
	you know homosexual who's just an awful person who would in fact wish he was dead.
	Well he was like in Kevin Sorbo's like taking all of this in stride.
	He's like well we can still be friends right?
	Yep.
	And the agent says oh darling we were never friends you were just a paycheck to me.
	Yeah.
	Frankly, I liked you better when you were drunk.
	As he's like walking out of the room or whatever.
	He's heartless.
	Katie gets there because they're having a meeting about the Christianity, like I said, and he's like, you want something to drink?
	And she's like, really?
	He's like, I got passion fruit iced tea.
	I got lemon iced tea.
	I got, you know, it's like a joke about how he's just got a bunch of iced tea or whatever.
	And she's like, oh, phew, thank God.
	And it's so funny because like, His alcoholism is a huge thing in like the first, you know, 20-30 minutes of this movie.
	He is like 100% of functioning alcohol.
	That's why he gets in the accident.
	That's why he sees his dead son.
	He's drinking vodka at like 8 a.m.
	the second he wakes up.
	He's just pouring glasses.
	He's staying up into the night drinking.
	It's posed in this movie that he just gave up drinking through the power of God and iced tea.
	Easy.
	If this guy that we've seen depicted on screen stopped drinking, he would be having seizures.
	Yes.
	He would possibly die from detox.
	That is how much this guy is drinking and it's just, it's not discussed at all except in this scene where he has a bunch of iced tea.
	Yeah because they're not doing like a casual like he made a bad mistake and got drunk and drove home he's like no he's a he's like a he's a has a huge problem like you said and yeah it doesn't get acknowledged and all and mind you this is all happening in like I don't know.
	It feels like it's like a week, two weeks.
	They're laying it on so thick with that book release or debate party because he's double fisting champagne.
	I think he even takes three of them.
	And then he's also double fisting the cocktails that are named after him that are being served.
	Like, like they're making a huge deal about how much he's drinking.
	And then it's just like, oh, well, you know, that part of his life is over now.
	It's just like, no, your body is like dependent on alcohol now.
	Yeah.
	This is bigger than you now.
	Um, yeah.
	So, uh, the, uh, Katie says, you know how you've been racking your brain trying to figure out what let there be light means.
	It's like, yeah, totally.
	The thing that's like literally in the Bible that has a explanation that I also got an explanation for from your pastor.
	Yes.
	I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what that means.
	Uh, she says, what if it was this and turns on her flashlight app on her phone?
	Yep.
	And you're thinking this is going to go somewhere more.
	You're thinking she's speaking in metaphor now.
	No, not at all.
	She literally means, what if we turned on our flashlight apps?
	Yep.
	She says, on the darkest night of the year, Which is Christmas Eve, I guess?
	That's what they're saying?
	I've never heard this been described that way, but I guess that's what they're talking about.
	On the darkest day of the year, at night, we point our flashlight apps at the heavens, lighting up the dark.
	And he says, so what you're saying is we get a band of people lighting up their phones, circling the earth, which is circling is not a word.
	And I rewound it to see if that's what he really said.
	And that's what he said.
	And I thought it was cute.
	So I included it in my notes.
	I respect that they describe this, what they're trying to do without using the term, the wave.
	Um, do I, I, yeah, here we go.
	This is very, and she says, and we can sync it with an app.
	And she says, and will contact NASA and ask them to shoot satellite images, like a selfie for God.
	Yes.
	You know how down NASA is for taking pictures of selfies for God.
	Also, you can just use their satellites whenever you want.
	That's what I was going to say, they're like recording all the time.
	It's like, it's like having a yard sale.
	You just gotta like, you gotta write it in the newspaper like a week before, get permission, and then you can access, you can use your lawn for yard sale, or you can also Use satellite images.
	We can have that.
	They're going to focus and sync it with your app.
	We could do that, or what we could do is we could get the street address for the headquarters of Google Earth, and we can fill out an application to use their product, mail it in three months before the day in question, and then wait on a response, wait for permission to use their website to record us doing this.
	I love it.
	The idea here is to light up the dark by shining their flashlight up into the sky.
	It's very stupid in the literal sense.
	That's not how light works.
	You can't light up the sky.
	It's even stupider in a metaphorical sense.
	Yes!
	Because the darkness that you're talking about isn't in heaven.
	Like it's, it's on earth.
	Like you should be pointing those phones down at hell or at the earth or something to light up the dark.
	I like each other.
	Anything besides what's happening.
	It's just, it's so weird.
	And they're going to sync it with an app.
	And there's no like question about this.
	There's like, there's no debating it.
	There's like, Oh yeah, absolutely.
	This is what we're going to do.
	We're going to have this app.
	We're going to make an app.
	We're going to have the lights turned on.
	It's going to be on Christmas.
	It's going to be huge.
	We're going to have an app that just is like a timer.
	The app is just like a calendar app and you just go to it throughout the year and ask, hey, is it time to do this?
	And it says no.
	Nope.
	It's not Christmas Eve.
	It's not Christmas Eve night.
	Is it Christmas Eve or Christmas night?
	When do you do it?
	I don't know.
	That's a good question.
	It has to be Christmas Eve.
	Man, I love this.
	Hey, it's an app.
	We're in the modern century, baby.
	We gotta have an app for this, you know?
	Not the flashlight app.
	You gotta have a secondary app.
	And then also, yeah, a selfie for God.
	Like, the photo is gonna be of you guys.
	It's not gonna be of God.
	No.
	If you can get us a selfie of God, you can change some pretty big minds that way.
	That'd be kind of a game changer for me.
	And I also love, like, I mean, you know, maybe this is getting into, like, edgy atheist or annoying atheist territory, but the idea that, like, God is going to kill the son of the most popular atheist and then let that atheist get a glimpse of the son when he's unconscious in order to change the atheist's mind, in order to spread the word of God and, like, be proof that God exists.
	Like, God could just like fucking, you know, uh, I don't know, turn, turn a building invisible for a few seconds.
	And then like, maybe that would be a better way of proving that he exists.
	Well, this is cool.
	Cause what they're doing is in the app, um, when you agree to, from the, to, when you agree to use the app, when you give the app access to your flashlight app, um, it's saying that when that light turns on, you're actually accepting, Anglo-Christian God in your heart.
	You're accepting the terms and conditions of Christianity.
	Yeah.
	No, but I just mean it seems like a bit of a Rube Goldberg project when God could just like, I don't know, make his voice present in everybody's head at the same time be like, hey, what's up?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I mean, that is what's happening right now.
	Now the whole world has to listen that once a day, Listen to God speak.
	And then- News updates.
	And then finally she says, oh, uh, and if you text LBTL to some number, you'll be, uh, I don't know, donating food to a food bank.
	Yeah.
	Just spitball.
	They were just spitballing here.
	Just like the last part of it is like, Hey, maybe we do some like, you know, material good or whatever.
	Maybe.
	Just a food bank.
	I don't know if you just texted food will appear somewhere.
	That's where the God miracle part comes in, I guess.
	And it's just like, again, it's just like this vanity project of like, we're going to fucking get everybody to prove that Christianity is popular by raising their flashlight into the air.
	Yeah.
	That's all, that's all it is.
	Uh, so at the end of this scene, he asks her out on a date, uh, and it's like almost refreshing for me personally, because I know at this point, like, You know because of this movie, because of what this movie is, there's no chance that he's going to like fuck it up.
	There's no chance that he's going to like revert to alcoholism or womanizing or partying or whatever, right?
	Because he's already been tested in his Christianity by refusing to lie about seeing his son in the afterlife.
	so he's already the great man we knew he could always be by like 30 minutes in or whatever so there's this moment which is kind of we're kind of getting into like the third act this is like the second act climax where he agrees to go on a date or he asks her on a date his ex-wife this is a huge deal right uh and in a normal movie he would like fuck this up In a normal movie with like another 30 minutes to go.
	Yeah.
	He would do something stupid, nonsensical, out of character and fuck it up, creating like conflict in the movie just to keep the run time another 30 minutes or whatever.
	And it's like refreshing that I know, oh no, they're just going to have a nice date.
	Like it's a little bit like, you know, it's at least it eases my anxiety then that I normally have about these like more contrived relationship dramas.
	um yeah uh so now the they go to a date and they're engaged uh he asks the date happens right away ask her to ask her to marry him right then and there yeah insane he says his line is like There are two things that are the greatest things to say to a woman.
	And one of them is by Leonard Cohen, and the other is by who?
	It's not like Iggy Pop, it's another, it's like Bob Dylan, I think.
	And he's like, Hallelujah?
	Yep.
	And what are you doing tomorrow night?
	Or something like, the Bob Dylan one, I can't remember what it is.
	Anyway.
	Says the Leonard Cohen one is hallelujah.
	And so when he proposes she says hallelujah.
	And then a different song called hallelujah plays.
	Yeah a completely different song.
	It's a song written for this movie called Hallelujah.
	It's pretty good.
	So now they're engaged.
	They go back to the home.
	They go back to her house.
	The son is like being annoying and tapping his foot because the dad brought, because Kevin Sorbo brought his mom back half an hour late and the son is just like not, like it was it was cute when the son was like have her back by 10 dad and Kevin's almost like, okay son.
	He's like, no, I fucking mean it.
	I'm not playing.
	I'm not playing with you at all.
	And it just goes on for way too long and the kid doesn't have like the acting chops to like know whether this is supposed to be cute or annoying or him overstepping his boundaries.
	It's just off-putting in general.
	And the kid, yeah, goes on and on about how he's late, and he's all, don't try to change the subject with me.
	Like, it goes on and on for no reason.
	And Kevin Somerville's like, I'm thinking about grounding this kid.
	And they go inside, they tell him to wake up the younger brother, because it's 1030, and the younger brother is dutifully asleep.
	And the kids are like, this better be good.
	And so he says, hey, we're engaged now and I don't need your permission to marry your mom, but I'd like to have your blessing.
	And the son says, the younger son is like, gosh, does this mean you're moving back in dad or whatever?
	And he's like, yeah, it does.
	And he's like, awesome, radical.
	And then the older son is like, got his arms crossed.
	And Kevin Sorbo is like, what about you Gus?
	And he's like, Oh, I'm just busting your chops.
	I'm happy as frickin' heck over here.
	I'm a slobbin' pig shit.
	And then the youngest son is like, uh, do you think this calls for a raise in our allowance?
	And they all laugh.
	Uh, and then the mom says, I think it probably calls for a raise in... Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
	Oh yeah!
	And you're like, you're like, what?
	What's happening?
	Is this a joke?
	Is she like mocking him?
	And then, and then they're like, what?
	And she's like, I, I think it probably calls for a raisin.
	And literally falls over and starts having a seizure.
	The most like, like, like early high school drama class performance of what that would be.
	It's insane.
	It's, it's, it's wild.
	Why don't we all go into the kitchen and have a nice big bowl of... Because the way this movie is set up, like the, the, the only way you can react to this is laughing.
	Like I, I, I laughed at the worst things in this movie.
	I thought she was mocking him because she's like, I think it calls for a raisin.
	Okay.
	That's a weird joke.
	And I was like a funny like family like oh we're being silly a goofiness together.
	And then you're like oh wait this is something bad's happening here.
	God literally takes the seizures that Kevin Sorbo's character was supposed to get from stopping alcohol and puts them into his ex-wife.
	That's what happened here.
	Kevin Sorbo quit being like a 2 or 3 bottle a day alcoholic.
	Fine.
	No problem.
	His ex-wife accepted his marriage proposal.
	Now she has to die.
	She has to super die.
	Well, we don't know if she has to die yet.
	We know she's fucking dead, dude.
	The second she reached down and touched her stomach, she's dead.
	Yep, yep.
	So they go to the hospital and they meet another doctor and this is Dr. Corey played by Travis Tritt looking like a modern-day Haley Joel Osmond with a goatee.
	Who's Travis Tritt?
	He's a country guy.
	Okay.
	He's a country singer.
	You just thought he was like an actor by how good his acting was.
	Yeah.
	I thought he was a doctor.
	A doctor who like knew a little bit about acting.
	Listen, I know a little bit of acting, but I know a lot of doctoring.
	Um, and he tells her, hey, you got a brain tumor and it's stage four cancer.
	Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
	Stage four.
	Whoa.
	Like everybody, like in a movie, you can't just have stage two.
	No, no, it's gotta be stage four.
	And I, and I love how they talk about it.
	She's like, I've, I've had no signs.
	This is wild.
	Cause again, this is like an opposite miracle.
	Actually, this is like, This is a fucked up anomaly.
	It's like actually a miracle how bad your situation is.
	If you want to look at it like that.
	I don't want to like mock you or anything, but you should probably buy a lottery ticket.
	You should buy a lottery ticket and you're going to somehow lose $308 billion.
	Yeah.
	With your luck.
	You're going to owe.
	You're going to owe somehow.
	I don't know how it's going to work, but yeah.
	Yeah, brain tumor stage four.
	She didn't have any sign of that.
	I don't know how cancer works, just to be fair, but I don't think like you just automatically get stage four.
	She says, hey, there are, so she gets the diagnosis.
	It's bad.
	She's got like a 5% chance of survival because the cancer's in there deep in her brain and there's no chance of surgery or whatever.
	And she says, well, there are three things I need to be thinking about right now.
	Preparing for eternity, which was like a genuinely well-delivered line like she has okay acting moments and This line preparing for eternity like made me really believe that this character believes that they're gonna die, but they do Have a higher faith.
	They do have a belief in life after death, but it's still a very profound Idea and it's a very profound experience to go through especially when you have to say goodbye to your family Like I believed all of that there in that moment She says, you know, I have three things to be thinking about preparing for eternity and ensuring the success of Let There Be Light.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	We are at a mission critical point in this product.
	This is bigger than her, you know, and also she's she's signed up for a job.
	And she understands that if you have a job and you think you deserve to be paid for that job, you can't just not show up, you know?
	Because of something like, you know, stage 4 cancer.
	Listen, at this company, at Let There Be Light, Inc., we're like a family, okay?
	She's like, well, I mean, I realize I'm your ex-wife, but we're still kind of an actual family.
	And he's like, that's right!
	And so we expect certain things here.
	We expect certain sacrifices to be made on behalf of Let There Be Life, Inc.
	Listen, I'm just saying all of your deadlines fall within your expected lifespan, so kind of, you know, I won't put anything else on your plate.
	I promise you that.
	It seems like you could be doing something productive with your time left here on Earth.
	Um, so then we get the merit.
	They, they have the wedding.
	Uh, the wedding is, uh, officiated by Pastor Vinny, but it's also, they also get a special serenade from Dionne Warwick, who sings a song called Let There Be Light, which is like a melancholy, like hard hitting R&B song.
	It's so good.
	This is another one of those black moments I was talking about earlier.
	It's so good like this song is delivered so well and at first I was really taken back because the position she's standing on she's like on the altar she's like in between the two of them who are up at the altar ready for some reason.
	It's like where the pastor would be yeah.
	Yeah and for a second that he of course is gonna be Pastor Vinny but I was like oh sweat they got like all of a sudden they got a black woman to officiate this with this ceremony that's really cool but she was just the entertainment and she was then The song is extremely out of place.
	The song is like a minor key R&B jam that everybody, it's like bright as day, outdoor wedding, folding chairs and people are like yeah smiling along to this like sultry like mmm in my feels for this song, this wedding song.
	It feels like a favor.
	It feels like they owed her or she's like really insisted on doing this song.
	You know, it's not something you would seek out.
	This has never happened at a wedding.
	Okay, let's keep going.
	We're almost there.
	Okay, so Sean Hannity calls Dr. what's-his-face Harkin's publicist in the middle of this wedding.
	And this is like definitely a sign from God that Sean Hannity would be reaching out to this family.
	And then they have a meeting with Sean Hannity, right?
	Uh, and Sean Hannity says you're literally going to like... Wait, hold on.
	Yeah?
	She interrupts the ceremony.
	She stops the ceremony to tell everybody at the ceremony that they have Sean Hannity.
	That they will be on Sean Hannity.
	Can you imagine getting your ceremony interrupted?
	To be told you're going to be on Sean Hannity?
	That's probably like a good thing.
	I mean, if you're trying to get on Sean Hannity, then that's like a big, that would be like you or me, uh, getting on Bill Maher.
	Exactly.
	I mean, try to put yourself in, I mean, I know I'm almost conservative, but imagine if it was like a liberal socialist icon like Bill Maher.
	Yeah, we were getting married and then all of a sudden we're going to be on Billboard.
	Yeah, interrupt the ceremony.
	I'm good with that.
	So then they have a meeting with Sean Hannity, right?
	And Sean Hannity's like, are you sure you're ready for the amount of pushback you're going to get from this?
	It's going to be a nightmare.
	You're coming out as Christian on national TV.
	People are going to want to kill you.
	People are going to want to murder you, bro.
	And there's like another previous scene where they're trying to spread like let there be light and his publicist like can't find anybody who's willing to like pick up Pick up this this idea or help help them promote the the Manifesto or whatever the campaign because hey, we all know mainstream media are extremely anti-christian They don't they don't want to talk to you about this and then also like the real Christians hate you because you're such a jerk to them
	So it's a big deal that obviously Sean Hannity is for it and he's like, yeah, you know, are you ready for this?
	Because you're literally trying to convert kids to Christianity.
	Yep.
	Like I guess all the kids like watching and listening to Sean Hannity.
	And he goes on, what about diversity?
	Yeah, what was that?
	What was that thing that like?
	Sean Hannity delivers that line.
	Well, he's like playing devil's advocate.
	He's like, he's like giving the talking points that are going to be used against them.
	You're trying to corrupt our children with messages of hope.
	You're trying, you're trying to taint our children with, with your love of life.
	You know, it's, it's, it's the straw man.
	It's, it's the anti-christian straw man that he's like warning them about basically.
	I thought he was reading it like, He wanted to make sure that they had their diversity issues taken care of.
	No, he's saying like, this is what you're going to get asked.
	It's like when his agent is like, are you ready to be questioned about whether you saw the heaven tunnel?
	Yeah.
	It's like that.
	It's like that, but the opposite.
	Yeah.
	What about diversity?
	You know, shouldn't one of you be a Muslim?
	Like, so you have diversity in the household?
	You know, this is what the libs want.
	And then he says, what right do you have to impose your religion on someone else?
	And Dr. Saul Harkin says, well, what right does ISIS have to cut people's heads off?
	Heads off.
	Yep.
	And Sean Hannity says, that's a powerful point.
	And it's like, so I love the, because the suggestion here is that, hey, if ISIS gets to cut people's heads off, then we get to convert people to Christianity.
	Hey, eye for an eye.
	Eye for an eye.
	Like, hey, uh, in a, in a world with God, everything is acceptable.
	Like, I don't understand, like, well, they got to do it.
	Yeah, we get to do this too.
	And then he says, uh, and unlike ISIS, this is not a convert or die proposition.
	But I mean like, you know, getting on my atheist soapbox again, let me climb up here real quick.
	It's literally like a convert or be tortured in hell for all eternity proposition, so don't maybe get so high and mighty about it.
	Then we get a montage, so they set up the meet, Sean Hannity's like, I'm your guy.
	I'm your guy.
	We're going to make this happen.
	We're going to do a three hour special on Christmas Eve showing everybody who's Christian on TV and fucking rubbing their faces in it, rubbing their filthy noses in the shit that they have denied for so long.
	And then we get a montage of Sam Sorbo, the character's name is Katie, vomiting and losing her hair.
	Yeah.
	It's a happy little montage.
	And then, yeah, eventually she's wearing a scarf, you know, one of those head scarves, which I'm kind of bummed about because I really wanted to see her in like an all that style bald cap.
	Yes, that would have been... but she can't commit like that.
	How, I mean like, the cancer scarves are like, they've been really good for TV and movies.
	Like you can just put a scarf on a woman's head and it's like cancer.
	You just know what it is, you don't have to say it at all.
	You don't have to say it, you don't have to like do any real makeup or anything, it's just like you put that multicolored scarf on her head and she's got cancer now, bada bing.
	Done.
	Done.
	Her kids are like, hey mom, are you going to get better or what?
	Like, what's up?
	Yeah.
	They just ask it just like that too.
	That's why it's not hypothetical.
	That's the real line.
	She's been given like a death sentence.
	Like three months ago she was given a 5% chance to live.
	Like she should have talked to her kids about this beforehand, but she's been like keeping her kids in the dark and they're like, you know, obviously super upset.
	They've mustered the courage to talk to her about their own mother's death.
	Um, and they said, you know, we've been praying for you.
	So is God going to save you?
	Uh, and she says, uh, she's like, listen, how many times did Jesus pray in the garden of, uh, Gethsemane?
	And the oldest son is like, well, three times, of course.
	And I'm like, what the fuck is this?
	Rod and Todd Flanders over here.
	No, you know that's when people know.
	And then they say, are you going to die?
	And she's like, I don't believe there's any such thing as death.
	Yep, which I love that line.
	Yeah, Isis is the cult of death over here.
	And you're like, no, I'm not dying.
	I'm just to transition.
	Let's all transition together.
	I'm just going into the next room.
	Yeah, that's her analogy.
	She said, uh, when I, just because you can't see me doesn't mean I'm not there.
	When I go into the next room, can you see me?
	But I still love you, you know?
	So it's just like, I'll be in that next room.
	I'll be in that waiting room as Fugazi said.
	Um, So they flash forward to the night of Let There Be Light and Sean Hannity is like hamming it up on Fox News talking about what a worldwide sensation, what a phenomenon, what a success it's been.
	The band of light is encircling, the band of light is circling the globe and it's even visible in North Korea.
	The list of countries is so good.
	How'd they hear about this in North Korea?
	Wow.
	What?
	That's the power of God.
	They got the app in North Korea?
	That is the power of God.
	Probably lightened up some of that legal weed there in North Korea.
	They're interviewing the app developer, the woman who like developed their Let There Be Light app.
	Oh my, I forgot about this.
	By this point, I'm very drunk.
	At this point, I've been watching this movie.
	I'm very drunk.
	At this point, you're watching this movie on, like, the screen of your Tesla while weaving through traffic and drinking half a pint of whiskey.
	It's okay, though, because it's driving for me.
	That's a good point.
	That's why you get that car, huh?
	Yep, there it is.
	So you can watch Let There Be Light.
	The app developer tells a story.
	She's at the house.
	She's at the family's house.
	They have a little mobile studio set up.
	They're interviewing her.
	For Sean Hannity, she tells a story about fleeing Pakistan as a girl, a young woman, where she was forced into a marriage and she was being abused by her husband.
	Uh, she went to her dad for help.
	Her dad said, Hey, I'm going to abuse you.
	If you don't get abused by your husband, I'm going to abuse you.
	Cause that's how bad we are over here.
	Um, and so she fled to America and was literally saved by Jesus Christ when it's like, well, what, he can't go over there.
	Yeah.
	What was that about?
	Yeah.
	I mean, he's out of his jurisdiction or what?
	Honestly, the immigration paperwork is really difficult to figure out.
	It's really hard.
	It's harder to actually immigrate into Pakistan than it is out of, into America.
	At this time, Katie is basically dying on the futon, on their patio, next to Kevin Sorbo's character, and they're watching the Sean Hannity broadcast, and Katie literally apologizes to Saul.
	One of her last things she ever says is I'm sorry to her fucking asshole ex-husband who left them to do a world tour of like mocking their religion and getting super fucked up.
	Who probably only got like this brain cancer because it was triggered by like stress of being like abandoned to raise two children after your one son already dies just to have like your ex-husband run off and like have this rock and roll lifestyle and make money talking about your dead kid.
	But she fulfills her womanly duty which is just apologizing.
	Uh, no matter what.
	Apologizing also, you know, for not, for not being there to like, uh, I don't know, I don't know, cook his meals and, uh, put him to bed, you know, in the future.
	Cause she's going to die.
	The worst thing about this is I'm not going to be able to feed you anymore.
	Put you to sleep.
	Yeah.
	Hit your head.
	Uh and then uh it's it's very like room like moment here because uh somebody says hey everybody it's time let's go do let there be light you know it's it's very much like uh what's their face saying hey everybody let's go outside like it's yeah it's that moment uh but they all go to a random spot in the yard that i guess was predetermined before
	To shine their flashlight apps into the sky, right as Sean Hannity says, let there be light.
	And if you look, the app developer, the woman who developed this app, who is probably the most technologically proficient person among the group, is holding her phone upside down.
	Oh man, I totally missed that.
	That's great.
	She's shining her light at the ground.
	She's like, got it up in the sky.
	The face of it is facing the sky and the flashlight is shining down back at her.
	I love this too.
	Cause like, I think everyone knows that your screen is probably, just have your screen all the way bright would be better.
	More surface area.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	More effective for this than it is, but no, but it worked because you, as you see from the NASA footage, The CG NASA footage they did, where you can see individual lights being lit up, but they're also the size of entire cities at the same time.
	You can see each individual iPhone flashlight from space.
	It's nuts.
	It's so good.
	Yeah, it's very good.
	Um, and, uh, you know, it's like, Oh my God, it's happening.
	It's on TV.
	Look at it.
	And, uh, Katie's dying.
	Her eyes are closed.
	Uh, and she said, you know, she's dying.
	Like the moment she shows up during this scene, the second you see her on the couch, you're like, Oh, she's going to die today.
	She's not getting back up.
	Look at her now.
	Um, and her eyes are closed.
	Saul's like, you know, it's happening.
	It's happening.
	And she says, it's so beautiful.
	Uh, and now she's dead.
	And her eyes were closed when she said, it's so beautiful.
	So you knew, you knew.
	Yeah.
	You knew she was like in that death drive, hallucinating, seeing some like incredible fucked up tight ass shit.
	Um, and yeah, and she, she dies.
	Uh, and then, uh, Kevin Sorbo like realizes she's dead and then he kisses her, which is real weird, like kissing a dead body.
	It's kind of gross, you know?
	He just knew it.
	He wasn't shocked by it at all.
	He like kisses her and hugs her, which is like, ew.
	She's dead now, dude.
	What are you doing?
	And the kids are like singing Silent Night with the cluster of people in the yard still.
	Which is brutal.
	It's brutal, yeah.
	Like, I'd love to be singing a shitty-ass Christmas carol instead of spending my mom's last moments on earth with her.
	That would like haunt me dude if I knew that I was singing like Silent Night or Away in a Manger instead of spending my mom's last moments on earth with her.
	And you were like 30 feet away from her but she was just in a different room.
	Yeah, that'd be awful.
	But it's supposed to be like, you know, this touching moment or whatever.
	Yeah, that's it.
	That's the end of the movie.
	Yeah, and then it's just over, like, because you know that I would actually send him into a fucking tailspin.
	There's no way.
	Like, he has to raise these two kids now.
	He's like, he's going to have a terrible life.
	Like, the update of this person's real life is awful.
	Yeah, you don't want to know it.
	It's a sad, sad story.
	Get that Bowflex out of the house.
	Yeah.
	Fuck.
	Yes, absolutely.
	That's the movie.
	That's the movie.
	That is the movie.
	I would, I guess, recommend watching it.
	It's on Amazon Prime.
	I laughed out loud more than once.
	I thoroughly enjoyed it.
	We kind of hit all the beats we're talking about, but it's funny if you want to throw it on with people to watch and laugh at it.
	It's pretty ridiculous.
	I mean, just show your friends the screenshot of aborting God a reasonable choice.
	That's what this movie should have been called in my opinion.
	Hey, swipe left on God.
	Stillborn Christ.
	Yeah, and that's it for the episode.
	Hey, remember to check out Creepy Critters, the episode we did on Weird Cats with them.
	Join the Facebook group, Minion Death Commandos.
	We might be organizing some sort of Minion Death Cult movie watching party.
	Some people are talking about doing that in that group, so join up if you're interested in doing that.
	We might do it over Discord.
	I think I'm gonna ask people in the group what would be like, you know, the easiest for everybody to do something like that and see what y'all say.
	And yeah, we got bonus episodes every week at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
	The most recent Patreon episode is very good, very fun.
	Very death cult, but stupid and silly.
	Had a lot of fun on that one.
	And that's it.
	Have a good night, everybody.
	Later, love ya!
	I'm gonna share a little secret.
	Something common, something real.
	True love, it isn't forcible.
	It's something you must feel When the promise of an answer Isn't always clear Look up and say

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