Support the show at www.Patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week Abortion care in the time of Covid-19, the conservative response, and an engineer tries to crash a train into a hospital ship, possibly to get Jodie Foster's attention.
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| The complaint filed in Los Angeles Federal Court states Moreno admitted to authorities in two separate interviews that he intentionally derailed and crashed the PHL train near the Mercy on Tuesday afternoon. | |
| So, close but no cigar. | |
| It was near the Mercy, okay? | |
| This isn't horseshoes, Eduardo, alright? | |
| Yeah, you gotta actually nail it. | |
| You gotta actually hit the thing. | |
| Prosecutors say Moreno was arrested sometime later and turned over to FBI agents early Wednesday morning. | |
| According to the complaint, Moreno ran the train off the tracks before crashing through a series of barriers, ultimately coming to rest more than 250 yards from the Mercy. | |
| Not even close. | |
| Put this shit on Funniest Home Videos. | |
| Put this shit on an Epic Fail Compilation. | |
| I wish there was an aerial view of the boat just not getting hit. | |
| That's the real reason why he sucks. | |
| I don't want a hospital to get wrecked by a train. | |
| I don't want that. | |
| But what I do want to see is a fucking train catching air. | |
| And like piling into a boat? | |
| Like car after car after car after car hitting the... I want that. | |
| I want a real video of that. | |
| Yeah, unfortunately... I want like the Snowpiercer wreck scene. | |
| Like when Snowpiercer... like that scene, but like into a boat. | |
| Yeah. | |
| We all want that. | |
| Unfortunately, that's not what this is. | |
| If this was caught on camera, it would be a clip like wedged between that video of the cat trying to jump off the wall, but it's back legs slip. | |
| And so it just like splays down below. | |
| And then another clip of like a guy hitting a golf ball into a wall and it knocking himself out. | |
| In between those two clips, you would see this guy derail his train very far. | |
| Uh, 2.5 football fields away from its intended target. | |
| Hate to see it. | |
| How like, how disappointed was he? | |
| How disappointed was he? | |
| Like, he like did it, and then it didn't hit and he was like, oh shit. | |
| Shit. | |
| Gotta be going fat. | |
| Maybe I, maybe I need two trains next time. | |
| Part of me feels like he didn't even really mean the whole government takeover thing. | |
| He just, like, suffers from what we call the toxic masculinity. | |
| And he just crashed the train on accident. | |
| Completely. | |
| Oh, okay. | |
| Just totally. | |
| And then, because he crashed the train on accident, like, straight away, when he shouldn't have crashed, he had it covered by... No, listen, I was trying to save the country. | |
| I was trying to save everybody. | |
| Yeah, that's pretty tight. | |
| I was trying to bring awareness. | |
| We'll get to it later, but his excuse is like he was trying to bring awareness. | |
| I was trying to bring awareness to things in the country. | |
| That's why I did it. | |
| You guys are talking about a trend wreck. | |
| I'm over here talking about government takeovers. | |
| Can we please straighten this out? | |
| No, listen, I pissed all over the front of my jeans because I'm trying to bring attention to how expensive the drinks are in this bar. | |
| I just want you to imagine how Independence Day would have ended up if they didn't listen to the scientists. | |
| Like, that movie would have been a different movie. | |
| So maybe listen to me now when I talk about government takeover. | |
| I think Randy Quaid kind of like flies in the face of your theory because that dude was not a scientist. | |
| He was just an American. | |
| And he kind of did it in that movie. | |
| He did do it. | |
| I don't think he consulted NASA before flying into the tractor beam in the mothership. | |
| I think he just kind of... Yeah, you're not wrong. | |
| He just did it. | |
| I mean, you want to talk about toxic masculinity. | |
| Yeah, thanks to toxic masculinity we can look forward to this 4th of July. | |
| You're welcome. | |
| I want that meme. | |
| I want that meme where it's like, oh, 18 year olds today, you know, they're, they need their safe spaces and, uh, they can't figure out what gender they are. | |
| Whereas like back in, you know, some year in the forties or something, they were, uh, storming Normandy, but it's Randy Quaid. | |
| Randy Quaid flying into the tractor beam, like flying into like the battery source. | |
| Nowadays. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Nowadays men can't, uh, men only watch aliens on TV. | |
| Back in 1998 or 97. | |
| They obliterated him. | |
| I like the idea that he was suffering from toxic masculinity but it was like he was like he was like talking to some woman he was on like a first date with a woman at a bar and he was I mean it doesn't have to be a bar but he was like He was like, listen, I got this, I'm a, listen, I'm a, I'm an engineer, I'm a train conductor, okay? | |
| This is my train, this is like the specs on my train. | |
| Yep. | |
| This is how it works. | |
| I'm gonna crash this shit into a boat, into that hospital boat. | |
| Yep. | |
| And she's like, listen, like, you know, I... | |
| I matched with you because, like, I thought you were, you know, kind of handsome. | |
| We live close together. | |
| You said you were an engineer? | |
| I thought that was cool. | |
| You're an engineer, you know. | |
| Got a good job? | |
| I'm a physicist, you know, like, and I thought maybe... You have an essential job? | |
| Yeah, you know, but I gotta tell you as, like, somebody who has a degree in physics, like, you're not gonna get to the boat. | |
| You're not gonna make it? | |
| That's the issue? | |
| Listen, I've been there. | |
| There are several barriers in your way, and the way momentum works, you're not going to have the inertia. | |
| You're not going to have the inertia to make it. | |
| He's just like talking over her. | |
| He's just like talking over her. | |
| Like, I've been running this train down these tracks for fucking 10 years now, and I've eyeballed this shit every time I hit that curve. | |
| Every time. | |
| I can't tell you how many hills I've gotten up off of sheer belief. | |
| I've got up so many hills just off believing in it. | |
| And he tried to mansplain train wrecking to her. | |
| And this is what happens, fellas. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Take note. | |
| Learn. |