Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

Feb. 11, 2020 - Minion Death Cult

01:23:53

I'd rather sit and listen to my exwifes insults all night then watch the Lowlife Oscars

This week: Oscars So Korean Plus, what if Dr. Jordan B. Peterson hosted the Academy Awards? And, Alex gets banned from Facebook for posting hate speech in the form of Weird Al lyrics Music: Ought - Sun's Coming Down

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
	We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
	Oh, they're in Bartholstein.
	Stay tuned.
	I'm Alexander Edward.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	We are Minion Death Cult.
	The world is ending.
	Facebook is responsible.
	We're documenting it.
	What's up everybody?
	Hey, what's up cheapskates?
	It's a free episode of Minion Death Cult.
	How you guys doing?
	I have bad news for you.
	Like we say regularly, there is no war except for class war.
	And they're winning.
	I'm just saying.
	The upper echelon, that is the Patreon, they're winning the class war right now.
	I'm sorry about that.
	But we're here for you.
	We love you, still.
	Interesting.
	See, I would say that the patrons are class traders that are donating to the class war on behalf of the proletariat.
	They are putting their money, they're like Marx's sponsor.
	Whoever's that guy who sponsored Marx and paid Marx to just write shit all day, that's like what those guys are.
	See, I know my theory.
	2020 marks is Minion Death Cult.
	Yeah.
	That's what you just heard right now is that the marks of now is Minion Death Cult.
	You're welcome.
	Your kids will study this, but you'll know that you were there when it started.
	Yeah.
	You're welcome.
	I think that's accurate.
	Also, fuck them kids.
	Tell your kids we said that.
	They'll get it.
	It's going to be a deep cut reference by the time we get there.
	Uh, yeah, so, uh, how's it going, everybody?
	Uh, work has somewhat normalized.
	Uh, hopefully we're doing, uh, free episodes every week.
	But if not, you can subscribe to the Patreon.
	Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
	P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult.
	We've been pumping these episodes out every week, uh, for the folks who, uh, support us, and we love them for it.
	But we also, you know, we give back.
	We give in return.
	It's not just, uh, you know, Intangible love.
	It's solid, tangible digital files that you can listen to.
	Downloadable, shareable, wearable.
	We have a series of hit clips that are coming out soon.
	Just 30 second clips of just one comment of your grandma screaming about an interracial soap commercial.
	That might be like the only truly millennial joke is Hit Clips.
	Because only people that fall within that age range will remember Hit Clips.
	I'm not even sure they ever existed.
	Um...
	I've been, yeah they did, they did.
	It was like a ringtone, for people who don't know, so a hit clip was like a ringtone in that it was like a 30 second chunk of a popular song, except it was like disambiguated from any, what do you call it, like useful Useful means of existence?
	It just existed as a 30 second chunk of a song.
	It was like a Tamagotchi that died after 30 seconds.
	You would press the button to make your pet song live and then it would just stop a quarter of the way through.
	But you knew that part.
	And you couldn't even buy the whole song in a kit.
	It wasn't like that.
	No.
	It's not like you would switch it out.
	Yeah.
	Hitclips.
	It's a wild time.
	Yeah, so today we got a fun show for everybody today.
	We're going to be talking about how Oscars are so Korean.
	Hashtag Oscars.
	Yeah, Oscars so Korean.
	Oscars so Korean.
	It's going to be an Oscar-heavy episode.
	Before we get into that, we just want to update the listeners on what's going on in our personal lives.
	You know, as it relates to this show, and I am sad to say that I got my first ban from Facebook.
	Wow.
	I caught my first post block from Facebook.
	It's kind of about time though.
	It is kind of strange considering that my only existence on Facebook is to share the most reprehensible content from Facebook.
	So you shared something about like...
	Like police genocide, right?
	That's what you shared?
	No, it wasn't about police genocide.
	It wasn't about Jews controlling the media.
	It wasn't about how Islam is garbage, both of which are perfectly okay to share and say on Facebook.
	Yeah, 100%.
	No, I shared a meme that had the lyrics to Canadian Idiot on it.
	A parody song by Weird Al Yankovic that was labeled as hate speech by Facebook.
	This is a Weird Al rendition of the Green Day song American Idiot, right?
	So I didn't know that there was a Weird Al song called Canadian Idiot.
	I just saw a meme that somebody made that has a raptor in a Canadian flag jersey and boxers.
	Holding, like, it's either a bottle of whiskey or a jar of maple syrup, and it has, yeah, lyrics that are obviously satirizing American Idiot.
	But I thought some ingenious, like, anti-Canadian person made this up on their own.
	Turns out it's a real song from Weird Al Yankovic, and it is hate speech, according to Facebook.
	It is.
	Absolutely.
	That's literally the phrase they used.
	This goes against our rules, our regulations, our guidelines on hate speech.
	This is really, actually, this is Scaly Erasure.
	People don't know what Scaly is.
	It's actually the dino reptilian edition of a furry.
	And this is Scaly Erasure.
	It's a community that has been silenced by the furry community, and believe it or not, Facebook is heavy, there's a big furry presence there, and they hate scalies.
	This is not about Canada, this is not about Where I'll Incubate, this is not about lyrics, this is about Scaly Erasure.
	Well, I mean, I didn't want to get into this, but if you really want to dive into this topic, I have to say that being a scaly is feathery erasure.
	Because we know scientifically that dinosaurs had feathers on them, and if you want to cosplay as a T-Rex or a Velociraptor or a Stegosaurus or whatever, and you want to somehow I don't know, hide the fact?
	Or you want to whitewash how dinosaurs actually were?
	Whitewash the complex history of dinosaurs and their feathers?
	I think, yeah, you do deserve to be erased.
	I think that shouldn't be welcome in the furry community.
	You know, I'm so happy that I have the bravest co-hosts.
	Thank you so much.
	Because, like, that's real.
	Like, they need at least, like, a light, like, feathery fuzz or just some, like, peacock, like, you know.
	Yeah.
	Some foliage.
	Yeah, because, I mean, we all know that's really how the mating went down.
	That's kind of the most important part.
	You're right.
	This is, um, let's dedicate this episode to the featheries out there.
	Okay.
	Stay strong.
	Shout out to y'all.
	So I had a 24 hour post block.
	I couldn't react.
	I couldn't even wow a post.
	I couldn't comment.
	I couldn't do any of that for 24 hours.
	And obviously this is like an infringement on my free speech.
	This is something, you know, we feel pretty strongly about.
	So as an act of defiance to the censors, as an act in support of free speech, I am going to read the contents of this Weird Al Canadian Idiot meme on the show.
	See guys, pay attention here.
	Pay attention.
	We haven't had a free episode in a long time and we're just letting you know that it might not be our fault that you don't have one anytime soon after this.
	If we disappear, remember this moment.
	Don't let this moment die.
	I want to apologize in advance to the Canadian listeners, to our Canadian friends.
	This is not what I believe.
	These are not my thoughts.
	This is not even something I agree with.
	But in the interest of free speech, I am going to recite these awful lyrics.
	Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot.
	Don't wanna be some beer-swilling hockey nut.
	Whoa.
	And do I look like some frostbitten hosehead?
	I never learned my alphabet from A to Z. They all live on donuts and moose meat.
	And they leave the house without packing heat.
	Never even take their guns to the mall.
	And you know what else is too funny?
	Their stupid Monopoly money.
	Can't take them seriously at all.
	Well, maple syrup and snows what they export, they treat curling just like it's a real sport.
	Wow.
	They think their accent, they think their silly accent is so cute, can't understand a thing they're talking aboot.
	Okay Alex, you know what?
	You know what?
	I know that's the lyric, I know that's the lyric, I understand that, but you need to understand the line.
	You did not have to say it that way.
	That is, that is rude, that is, that's appropriation, Um, I understand that you're trying to- It's a quote.
	I'm not- It's a quote.
	It's- I'm quoting somebody.
	I did not hear you say the word quote after you said that- About.
	About.
	I'm not gonna overhear- I'm not gonna- I'm not gonna take from their culture.
	No, this- Listen, I- Once again, I have to explain it for the dumbasses who don't understand nuance, who don't understand, like, uh, art.
	These are somebody else's words.
	These are the words of a man named Weird Al.
	I am not endorsing these words.
	I am not speaking from the heart.
	I am reading what Facebook tells me I'm not allowed to read.
	You know what though?
	We have not sunk so low to just read anything that, you know, myUnopolis posts.
	We're not here reading Richard Spencer quotes.
	We've done it, but you're just going to frivolously just quote Albert Yankovic?
	When Facebook doesn't allow Richard Spencer quotes on Facebook, then I'll read them.
	Yeah.
	That is so wild.
	Who flagged this?
	The algorithm caught it.
	The algorithm caught the phrase Canadian idiot exclamation point.
	And flagged it for hate speech because this was posted in the Minion Death Commandos group and I want to believe that nobody in the group chose to flag this specific post to fuck with me.
	Well, I'm not surprised.
	There's a lot worse posts that go in there and maybe Facebook wouldn't recognize them as hate speech but I don't get any other notifications about posts being flagged except for this one.
	But like I don't know if you ever like use like a synonym generator or something like that but like Canadian Idiot It basically translates, if you were to like, you know, use a different language than English, you know, you might say the words Canadian Idiot like, that would translate as like, men are trash.
	So like, it's kind of the same, the same person that gets mad at men are trash is also mad at Canadian Idiot.
	So like, you know, you should have read through this.
	You should have seen this coming.
	I mean, like, I think you're joking, but that's what actually happened.
	Like, you're not allowed to say men are trash, and you're not allowed to say the phrase Canadian idiot.
	Like, the algorithm is set up to automatically detect that.
	Nobody has to report it.
	It's just the algorithm is scanning memes now, and memes that say know the enemy and have stars of David over every media figure that they can come up with.
	Don't count as hate speech.
	The algorithm knows that they're there.
	They just don't count it as hate speech.
	And it's just interesting because this meme is pixelated as fuck.
	It was a bit hard for me to read but Canadian Idiot at the top was in the largest font and I think that that's what was caught.
	Anyway, so I'm sorry, once again, I apologize to any Canadians or friends of Canadians, Canadian allies, that I might have offended with that reading, but it's a statement we have to make on this show.
	Tony, what's going on in your personal life, huh?
	Man, I'm kind of like, I'm kind of going through it right now.
	Between like a rock and a hard place right now, as you know I'm an activist and by activist I mean sometimes I do vandalism.
	Yeah, no, you didn't have to explain.
	That's what I think of when I think of activism.
	No, I don't like, I don't like, you know, go to meetings or, like, organize or, like, do anything.
	I don't, like, knock on doors or, like, text people for Bernie.
	I don't do any of that.
	Um, but I do, uh, I do write words on walls or letters and, um, I recently, over the past couple years, I've been writing just, um, the acronym ACAB.
	Yeah.
	As in, instead of taking that Uber and being a bootlicker, why don't you call a cab?
	Yeah, I'll call a cab, yeah.
	A member of the taxi drivers union.
	Yeah, all cats are beautiful, as you all know.
	And so, I've been writing this for a little while now, with my little marker, like a child, on the streets, on signs.
	I do it like a child.
	But it's fun and it makes me feel alive.
	Yeah, it's gotta be a tall child.
	A tall child.
	To reach the heights that you access.
	So I recently wrote ACAB in these like pretty nice little bubble letters.
	Kind of a nice little throwy.
	It looks good.
	I'm pretty proud of it.
	I wrote it on a sign and I was in the same area recently and I was like I'm gonna drive by it and see it.
	And I drove by it and I come up on it and like some motherfucker like covered my shit.
	Like there's nothing else on the sign.
	So it was obviously like a rival gang.
	Like some other crew that was in the area.
	I was like, oh, first pulling up, I was like, oh, I've been buffed by the city.
	Um, good.
	Those, those fuckers read it.
	Good.
	They saw it before they buffed it.
	Um, but I get closer and I realized that someone just slapped a sticker over my shit.
	And I was like, oh, cool.
	It's going to be like a Tony Hawk pro skater motherfucker.
	Yeah, it's going to be like a Blue Lives Matter sticker, right?
	I'm thinking, you know?
	And I pull up on it and I'm immediately so conflicted because if I see a sticker of my shit, I'm either going to write over that sticker again or I'm going to peel that sticker off.
	Or peel a sticker off and write something else, you know?
	Either way, the sticker's gone.
	But then I pull up and it's a Bernie 2020 sticker.
	It's funny because like that means either a couple things happen here.
	All of them suck. - Right.
	Like that means we have like this is a good thing maybe is that we definitely have some libs some Bernie bro libs which is I guess that's a good thing you know?
	I've seen but now the whole like Bernie Sanders Punisher Blue Lives Matter skull that's that's a shit post.
	I think we can all agree that's a shit post and it's a good shit post I admire it.
	I have seen, in real life, Bernie Sanders bumper stickers next to Blue Lives Matter bumper stickers.
	Or like, you know, Sheriff Stars.
	Or like, troop shit.
	Did you see that thing about how Sanders has the most active duty troops donating to him than any other Democratic candidate?
	No, that's incredible.
	That's awesome.
	Yeah, it was in the news a couple days ago.
	That's one of those things, we have to have these little things in our pockets to tell people who we're trying to talk to about it.
	That's a great one.
	Yeah.
	I'm gonna pull that on my aunt this week.
	Yeah, the article should be easy to find.
	But yeah, that means somebody who's a Bernie supporter, enough of a Bernie supporter having an extra sticker.
	An extra sticker.
	And they either saw graffiti and were like, graffiti's gotta go.
	I gotta put my Bernie sticker over it.
	Or they saw and knew what ACAB meant and thought they had to cover that.
	Yeah.
	And I'm like, no, same team.
	They wanted to cover your indecency.
	Yeah.
	That's, that's, and I, and I, I'm envisioning a more evil possibility.
	Okay?
	More than just seeing ACAB and thinking, oh, that's bad.
	I love, I like cops.
	Covering it up.
	I, I suggest, I propose that the more evil, the more evil situation is this Bernie bro saw ACAB and said, That looks bad for leftists.
	We can't have that sign up there because then people won't respect leftists.
	So I'm gonna cover it up because of optics or whatever.
	And instead of like actually having an opinion or formulating a stance about cops, they were just like, no, it looks bad for the movement.
	Ugh, yeah, that's totally what it was.
	That's a worse person, I think.
	I mean, I'm still glad they're voting for Bernie or whatever, but... I was so mad, too, because, like, I don't usually do the bubble letters on something high.
	It's not usually worth it, but what I do is I write ACAB in like bubble letters and then regular font I write every one just to clarify.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And that's what they covered up was like you can only see the A and a little bit of the C and that's the worst part of the whole thing.
	Yeah, maybe.
	Now people are gonna think it's an anal cunt tag.
	Yeah, that's exactly what it looks like if you didn't know.
	And like that band isn't that great.
	They were like funny for a little bit, but that's it.
	I'm just mad because I feel like if I could have seen the person doing this we could have had a conversation.
	God it would have been worth it.
	It would have been worth him doing it to catch him doing it.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yeah!
	To have a conversation about about you know how like yeah um They gots to go.
	Sorry buddy, hey, they gotta go.
	I'm sorry.
	Bye bye!
	Is you putting this sticker up satire?
	Tell me how you feel right now.
	We haven't said the weirdest part about this, which struck me immediately.
	Was that not only did this guy, or girl, I guess, Bernie Bros can be girls too.
	Bro, Bernie Bro is gender neutral, okay?
	If we've learned anything, the phrase Bernie Bro is gender and ethnically neutral.
	True, true.
	This person Not only did they cover up ACAB and slap a Bernie sticker over it, which is weird, but okay, whatever.
	The place that you had this ACAB tag was underneath the word STOP on a stop sign.
	Oh, I did not even think about that.
	So they slapped Bernie over ACAB so that now it reads, "Stop Bernie." Wow.
	Not only did they cover up a cool tag, they also put the word "stop" before Bernie.
	That's how they feel about-- They hate Bernie so much that they bought stickers and they put them on stop signs anyways.
	I mean, there was a Bernie rally in Riverside, right?
	Maybe they had extra stickers?
	I don't know.
	That's possible.
	I'm willing to think this person is just like a rube.
	Yeah, I think you're right.
	I think they were like, optics!
	Yeah, they were doing optics over ACAB and didn't realize the optics of putting Bernie under the word stop.
	I guess I didn't see the optics of putting ACAB under the word stop.
	But like I said, I just want people who see ACAB to get mad.
	That's all I want to see.
	That doesn't scan as much.
	Stop all cops or bastards?
	That doesn't make sense.
	It doesn't track as like a statement.
	Just the ACAB is its own statement.
	But stop Bernie definitely is a phrase that makes grammatical sense.
	As a slogan, you know?
	Yeah, it was whack.
	It was a very whack moment for me.
	Yeah.
	I was so bummed, like, because I was ready to get pissed, you know?
	And then I saw that, I was like, oh, what the fuck?
	No!
	You know, I think we might catch some flack from, like, the dirtbag left or whatever, but I think we can safely assume that the person who put that Bernie sticker up was a white bro.
	Yeah, I'm gonna feel good about that.
	And you know what?
	I feel like I had a jump for it.
	We're not trying to erase his support among women, or people of color, or non-binary folks, but I think that that was a white bro.
	That's how we need to do that.
	Blame all the bad things on the White Bros, which is probably pretty accurate.
	Sure, that's fair.
	I think that's perfectly reasonable.
	And it only lifts up the minority of Barney Bros.
	Alright, so like I said at the top of the show, the majority of this show is going to be dedicated to the Oscars, because there's just so much fascinating reaction to the Oscars.
	We're gonna get to that tweet about Parasite that is just incredible.
	And I was like, oh, that's gonna be a thing.
	Like, the fact that a, quote, foreign film, a foreign language film, won Best Picture, that's gonna be like, I don't know, a flashpoint on the right.
	And I was incredibly wrong.
	Because they have stopped watching the Oscars.
	Yeah, period.
	The right wing just doesn't watch the Oscars.
	The biggest flashpoint on the right wing for the Oscars was Brad Pitt's acceptance speech.
	In which he goes up, you know, he won for some movie he did, um, and he said, oh, they said I could have 45 seconds to give my speech, which is 45 seconds more than John Bolton got.
	Ooh.
	Which, uh, pretty, pretty corny in my mind.
	Yeah.
	Very, very corny.
	Like, who fucking gives a shit?
	John Bolton was trying to sell a book.
	Yeah, they didn't give him time to testify.
	And yeah, therefore Trump wasn't impeached.
	No, they wouldn't have impeached Trump whether... Or they wouldn't have convicted Trump whether or not John Bolton testified.
	But anyway...
	Yeah, pretty corny, pretty lib statement.
	And that's what the articles were written about.
	That's what the articles on Fox News were written about.
	That he chose to turn it into a political circus by having some, I don't know, New York Times-esque snark on there.
	So, the parasite thing didn't reach as many eyes as I expected it to.
	And I think case in point here, go ahead.
	I think that you're right.
	That's the easiest thing to pick on because I think that there might be people out there who would be mad about a Korean person winning an Oscar but then would see Parasite and be like, well god damn.
	Okay, like that's making me think about some shit.
	So I don't think they want people to even, like, think about Parasite.
	Maybe, it's just Parasite didn't get a wide release, so the only people who are upset about it are people who, like, didn't see it, or people who are on the right wing and cultured enough to understand that it had an anti-capitalist message to it.
	No, that's why people are mad about it, but what I'm saying is why it wasn't talked about.
	I don't think they would have to worry about bringing attention to Parasite, a foreign language dubbed movie that nobody is going to see regardless.
	I mean, yeah, yeah.
	I'm trying to do a cost-benefit analysis here for right-wing media.
	The potential cost of people seeing a movie with class consciousness in it is fairly minute relative to the benefit of getting a bunch of people super mad at Koreans and just being super racist online.
	I think that's the far more likely scenario.
	Sorry to be the eternal pessimist here.
	You're right, but I am hoping that, and this is coming from someone who hasn't seen the movie even, but I do hope that there's a thing where maybe some libs will see this.
	And gain a little more clout.
	For instance, I fucking watched Shape of Water after Shape of Water did well.
	I hate myself every day for watching that movie.
	Now you think deaf people should have rights.
	But, so even I like watched that stupid fucking movie, so I bet there's gonna be a bunch of libs that are gonna watch this movie and hopefully it'll work.
	I don't know if you knew this, but I've been fucking a mermaid for months now.
	And I don't know if I would be here if it wasn't for that.
	He's a merman, but he still likes the mermaid.
	It's what he likes to be called.
	Well, and I mean, I mean, I'm sure somebody fucked a mermaid and that's what inspired Shape of Water, and so it's not necessarily that life imitates art, it's just life imitates art which already imitated life.
	Wow.
	Yep.
	No, case in point here, okay, so there's like a thematic post that's going around, and there's a bunch of these posts, but you know, you can...
	You can take your pick, which one you like the best.
	I liked this one the best.
	This is from Bob France, who is apparently... France as in TZ, not as in that shitty country, which are a bunch of pussies that, god, they just fall over when it comes to invading the Middle East and, I don't know, actually rise up a million strong to kill their employers in real life.
	Isn't that funny though?
	That whole thing about how the French are a bunch of pussies because they won't fight a war for America.
	And that fucking video, just to shout out France, that video of the firefighters like, rushing the cops is like, is the best shit ever.
	It's the best shit.
	I've showed that to a couple local firefighters who are pretty right, who like, don't know.
	And they've been like, oh fuck.
	And I'm like, yeah dude.
	Wait, we can do that?
	And it's like, yeah dude, you have like, axes and shit.
	Yeah, I'm like, yeah, you could totally fucking do that.
	Like, they for sure won't shoot you.
	And also, you know that you're stronger than all of them.
	That's a good point.
	Yeah.
	No, this is Bob France.
	F-R-A-N-T-Z.
	He's like a radio.
	Ferdinand.
	As in Ferdinand, exactly.
	I think there's no T in friends, Ferdinand.
	But you get the point.
	He's like a radio show host or something.
	And he posted on Facebook List terrible things you'd be willing to do rather than watch the Oscars.
	Are you interested in hearing this Tony?
	I'm just fascinated by this.
	I don't know if I'm ready for it because I feel like he's gonna say something real crazy right now.
	I feel like he's gonna get real real blue maybe.
	And this is just, you know, to pull back a second, this is just illustrating my point.
	These people do not, they think they're doing politics by boycotting the Oscars or whatever, right?
	So this is why there isn't a giant uproar over Parasite except for your, like, most online right-wing libertarian friends or whatever.
	Well, did you even boycott if you didn't post about it?
	Is that even a boycott?
	Uh, wait, so what are you saying?
	You have to post about boycotting.
	If you don't post about the boycott, you're not even doing it.
	Well, a lot of people post it about it.
	If you don't post about it, that means that you're just not watching it.
	Yeah.
	So you have to post about it.
	You do have to post about it.
	This is engagement.
	This is activism.
	Yeah.
	This is what the left needs to learn.
	Bob France, list terrible things you'd be willing to do rather than watch the Oscars.
	I'll start.
	I'd rather endure a root canal while simultaneously undergoing a colonoscopy.
	I would rather get it from both ends than watch TV.
	I feel like he's not saying the caveat that makes it bad.
	For a root canal, you're usually put under anesthesia, right?
	And also for a colonoscopy, same, right?
	You're on drugs.
	You're not going to feel anything.
	You're not going to be aware.
	You're not going to feel either one of these painful things.
	So yeah, if I needed a root canal anacolinoscopy at the same time, if I could book them on the same day, that would work best for me.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that would be pretty efficient.
	Yeah.
	And also, because I can't get two days off work, you know?
	I need to make sure we can do this.
	Yeah.
	Sounds like a deal.
	Yeah.
	We're only paying one anesthesiologist?
	That's gonna save us so much money.
	I think he's talking about being awake or something, so that's what he would rather do.
	He'd rather get something up the butt, something down the mouth, in the throat, than watch the Oscars, because he can't stand their virtue signaling, or whatever.
	True, okay.
	John Tamburello says, damn, that's a hard one to beat, but I'll try.
	I'd rather sit and listen to my ex-wife's insults all night than watch the low-life Oscars.
	Got him!
	Got him!
	Not an ex-wife.
	What?
	Not an ex-wife.
	I can't do the ex-wives.
	No thank you.
	Yeah, an ex-wife beats the simultaneous colonoscopy root canal, I think.
	Listen, you might have a gluten intolerance, but I have an ex-wife intolerance.
	No thank you.
	Listen, I avoided getting a divorce from my horrible bitch wife just so I wouldn't have an ex-wife.
	As bad as wives are.
	We all know how bad they are, right fellas?
	This guy's like, I'd rather not talk to this person who I was once in love with, I'd rather not speak to them at all, than like, you know, have two surgeries.
	Two simultaneous surgeries.
	And I like my ex-wife's insults.
	That's a tell.
	John Tamburello also, his profile picture is just Trump.
	And so yeah, I'd rather watch my kids than watch the Oscars.
	No, you gotta say, you gotta say babysit my kids.
	I'd rather babysit my kids.
	Yeah, I was just gonna say, I mean the point is moot because he's not allowed to do either.
	But have you ever heard that?
	That's a weird thing that like... Like, I know other... Listen, I'm familiar with Twitter activism.
	Split dads.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Don't say babysit.
	You're just being a dad.
	Like, I know that's what I'm doing, but I'm not gonna say it out loud.
	That's stupid.
	I'm not an idiot.
	I've allegedly babysit my kid.
	Yeah.
	Allegedly.
	Mark Johnson, instead of watching the Oscars, would rather shove a wet noodle up a honey badger's ass.
	Can you believe this is the same guy they gave a two song part in Fully Flared to?
	I mean, how old is he now?
	He's gotta be 50, 55 now.
	I think he's like exactly 40.
	I don't know about that one.
	Is he only 8 years older than us?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I saw him at Chipotle not too long ago.
	Um, does he still own girl skateboards?
	No.
	Oh, there was a huge fallout over that.
	Yeah, that's it.
	He's on no board sponsor.
	Uh, he got kicked off a girl.
	I thought he owned girls.
	Who owned?
	No, he was... Eric Costin?
	No, Mike Carroll and Rick Howard.
	These names are too bland.
	I can't possibly remember any of these names.
	Remember, these are all white people.
	No, man, it was crazy.
	So, like, Mark Johnson was on Lakai.
	That's the two-song part he had in the video.
	I thought Lakai just made backpacks.
	No, Lakai makes shoes, and it's all part of the Crailtap distribution, right?
	So Crailtap does Lakai- These aren't words!
	What are you talking- You went from Mark Johnson and Eric Costin and Mike Carroll to fucking Lakai and Crailtap in, like, alien words.
	They all- No, that's Alien Workshop.
	It's a whole different distribution.
	So Mark Johnson is on Lakai, and basically if you're on a Coreltap team, so he was on Girl and Lakai, right?
	So he's under Coreltap distribution, right?
	His shoe deal is kind of a big deal because his shoe is a sell.
	So I'm at the Adidas premiere, the Adidas Away Days premiere, And who is on screen?
	Mark Johnson.
	Oh no.
	Which means he left Lakai.
	Oh boy.
	And it got sprung on everybody.
	Adidas fucked him because he had a deal with Lakai to like not leave on time but he left.
	He left and did the part for Adidas.
	They released it early and so they kicked him off a girl.
	And what I'm saying is capitalism is ruining friendships.
	Uh, I just want to issue a correction, uh, when you said Lakai, I was thinking of Dakine.
	Dakine, yeah, that makes sense.
	That's the backpack company I was thinking of.
	I forgot about Lakai.
	It's okay, I already had the worst- This is so interesting for people who never skateboarded.
	I already had the worst ever, like, fuck-up last week when I said that Christian's VTAC skated into that skong, that song, when it was actually, uh, Jesse Adams.
	How soon after that episode did you have to turn off your notifications?
	Because they were just getting blown up.
	Just getting fucking dragged.
	All 30 people on Skate Twitter were real annoyed.
	Your menchies were unreadable.
	Your phone was on the fritz.
	Um, okay, yeah.
	What would you rather do than watch the Oscars?
	We all know the Oscars are worse, uh, than getting, like, anally penetrated by a camera, and I'm straight, and I don't like that shit anyway.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	I also, I'm straight, so I don't like my teeth getting drilled.
	I don't like any part of me getting drilled, okay?
	Because I'm straight as fuck.
	Not straight.
	I don't like my fucking ass getting drilled.
	I don't like my teeth getting drilled.
	What would you rather do than watch the Oscars, right?
	And you have to, it's like a, it's like a performance.
	You have to like, because the Oscars are fucking awful, right?
	So you have to like, you have to bring it.
	You have to bring it with what you'd rather do than watch the Oscars.
	And Kristen Harris Rivera says, listen to AOC's silly things she says!
	Two exclamation points!
	It's that bad.
	It's that bad.
	I'd rather listen to those silly thoughts she has.
	Those silly things she says.
	And by listen to AOC's silly things she says, she means like looking at an impact font meme of a drawing of AOC where it says, oh did you hear guys?
	Trump quitted!
	I'd rather not watch a slideshow of AOC memes.
	Like, I'm not even aware... She couldn't tell you anything AOC says.
	No, it's kind of adorable though, like... Silly?
	The word silly really makes it adorable.
	I mean, this is like the most wholesome comment under... Because everybody is like, oh yeah, I'd rather get fucked in the ass in prison.
	Or, oh yeah, I'd rather, like, kill one of my children than watch the Oscars.
	That's how much I hate the Libtards.
	And she's like, I would rather listen to that.
	that freaking socialist then watch the oscars but it's also like you clearly are already doing that yeah that's kind of where that's kind of what your phone is yeah yeah if you're if you're laughing what she says you uh you've already heard it so are you trying to tell us you would actually watch the oscars because i'm not trying to have that shit up in this comment section no thank you not today Um, in the same vein, uh, what would you rather do than watch the Oscars?
	Rich Williams says, I'd rather listen to Libtards talk.
	Oh, yep.
	Yep.
	Um, you'd, you'd rather, you'd rather subscribe to Minion Death Cult?
	Well, I think that maybe Rich William doesn't understand that the reason the Oscars are bad, like the reason that we hate the Oscars and we're all performing our hatred for the Oscars in this comment section, is because they're libtards and they're talking.
	Because they're libtards talking, yep.
	So I think Rich Williams got a little confused here.
	And somebody corrected him.
	They were like, uh, but buddy, that's what the Oscars are.
	That's the joke, man.
	Don't you get it?
	Yeah.
	And Rich Williams was like, oh, fuck, I'm sorry.
	Like, I'm actually not really, like, that involved in politics.
	I'm just, like, culturally aligned with the right wing.
	And therefore, this is how, like, I socialize.
	And, you know, it's kind of, not only is it, like, me socializing, it's also me, like, You know, participating in my local society.
	Like, in the scene of, you know, my locality.
	He's like, sorry, I'm new here.
	Yeah.
	I'm laying the ropes.
	And last one here.
	Brian Fitzpatrick said, I would rather have a truck drive over my balls while someone else farts in my face, lol.
	I would enjoy that more.
	And I hate poop, lol.
	First of all, thank you for the clarification.
	I'm really glad to know that you hate poop.
	Listen, I'm the last guy who wants some poop in his face.
	Yeah, of all the guys.
	But I think he's also very fully aware that people would pay a lot of money for exactly that to happen.
	And also, this is very specific.
	And I feel like he's really telling on himself right now.
	I feel like if he were to Just search his local Craigslist ad.
	You could probably find somebody requesting to have a truck driven over their balls and have someone else fart in their face.
	But no poop though.
	But don't let any poop happen to those farts.
	Methinks doth deplorable doth protest too much.
	I think this guy actually likes having his balls run over by a truck.
	If there's a name that's into cock and ball torture, it's a guy named Brian Fitzpatrick.
	Totally.
	That's a dirty name.
	Yeah, I'm not trying to, like, you know.
	I'm just saying, statistically, if you look at the facts and the logic, most people that are into cock and ball torture are white dudes.
	Yeah, you would say, hey, what is the, what are they called, like a cock cage?
	I think that's exactly it.
	Cock cage, yeah.
	Yeah, you would say, hey, what size is this cock cage?
	And the answer would be, well, it fits Patrick.
	I was like, I was like, this motherfucker about to taste small right now?
	That joke's not good.
	Then you fucking crushed it.
	That was incredible.
	Yeah, I think it's interesting that he has to say that he hates poop.
	That's suspicious, I think.
	I'm totally not into poop.
	Listen, I'm a guy who hates poop, you know what I'm saying?
	You know what I mean.
	Have you guys seen those crazy dragon dildos?
	They say they feel really good because of their unique shapes with unique textures and you can get them the colors you actually want them in.
	That's what they say, but I think they're really weird and I would never have one.
	Dude, some guy... These comment sections were incredible.
	One guy said, I would rather have a glass rod shoved up my urethra and then smashed with a hammer than watch the Oscars.
	I wish the listener could see Tony's face.
	This guy's like, I would rather star in Crazy Dave Tapes.
	I would rather be the only person that things are happening to in Crazy Dave Shapes.
	Listen, does anybody remember a little thing called Pain Olympics?
	I would rather participate.
	I would rather gold medal in Pain Olympics than watch the Oscars.
	So excited for Google.
	So excited for Google to get that one tonight.
	Oh yeah, there's gonna be a spike.
	Is Pain Olympics allowed on the internet anymore?
	I don't think it's allowed anymore.
	I mean, but the internet's crazy.
	Yeah, I think you have to go to the deep web for that one.
	You can't search Pain Olympics Reddit, you have to go to Reddit then search Pain Olympics.
	It's definitely not on Reddit.
	It's on like 8chan or 8bit or whatever that shit is now maybe.
	We'll post a link later, it's fine.
	Just look in the show notes, you'll find a portal to the dark web where you will find Pain Olympics.
	I just wanted, you know, to get serious here, to just, like, be fucking boring and, like, actually give some analysis here.
	It's just extremely funny to me that their whole problem with the Oscars is that they're virtue signaling rich people who are, like, giving speeches about how woke they are or whatever, etc, etc.
	You have to match the energy of the opposing stream.
	are nothing but, like, signal your antithope or signal your hatred for the libtards.
	Just say a bunch of stuff that you don't actually believe.
	Say a bunch of stuff just to, like, raise the stakes about how good you are because you hate the liberals that much.
	You have to match the energy of the opposing stream.
	You have to, like, create that much of an opposing virtue signal.
	Yeah.
	And, like, even the...
	The first season was strong last night at the Oscars, so you had to work hard.
	Sure.
	Even the most mild one of these, even Kristen Harris-Rivera saying, "I'd rather listen to AOC's silly things, she says, than watch the Oscars." I don't believe that, Kristen.
	Sorry, I don't believe that.
	I believe you would rather watch the Oscars, which contains clips of entertaining movies and comedic bits and song and dance and shit, than listen to AOC speak.
	Sorry.
	But at the same time, I can guarantee you that Black Rifle Coffee Company had a spike in sales during the Joaquin Phoenix speech.
	You know?
	Why, was he talking about vegan coffee or something?
	No, he was talking about veganism and like... It was, it was like, it was one of those things like, I, you know, I already said it, but it's just like, as a vegan, it's so, it's so fucking annoying to see that, because it's like, dawg, you're, no one, nobody's vegan now because of Joaquin Phoenix's speech.
	Nobody was like, man, the Joker's got a point.
	Fuck.
	I don't know man like maybe some fucking weird like internet incel guys are like Yeah, I mean this guy's the coolest best actor in the world Maybe there's like you know something to what he's saying.
	There has to be a feed now that is like the vegan Joker, right?
	Yeah, I hope so.
	Yeah, I'm gonna look it up real quick.
	Live React.
	Vegan Joker.
	Google.
	Go.
	Oh, no, it's just people calling Joaquin Phoenix the Joker.
	So if anybody wants to make that money right now, you can go ahead and... Oh!
	Nope, there it is.
	Yeah, Vegan Club stickers with the Joaquin Phoenix Joker face on it.
	That's as close as we can get.
	It's bad.
	It's really bad.
	And like, I've never ever, I've been vegan for 10 years, I've never ever told anyone you need to become vegan, because that's a fucking waste of time, because if someone told me that when I was vegan, I would have like, um, told them to fuck off and be like, I want to eat bacon right now.
	But um, yeah he changed, I really feel like he changed no one's mind that night.
	He just, he had a really really heartfelt speech, and he like, cried a little bit about like, um, baby cows being taken away from their moms for milk and stuff.
	Um but anybody who like needs to hear that is like laughing at him crying about baby cows.
	Um what if he had said we live in a we live in a society and it's not a humane one?
	And that was it?
	Well I just what if he tossed that in there?
	Well the thing is he he said like Good things and until he like he was doing great and then when he when he finally like did the example of like talking about um he when he would because he at one point he was basically like hey listen like um trans people and black people in america are being victimized also cows are being victimized you can't that doesn't work no That doesn't work.
	That's just not a good move.
	It's not a good look.
	If somehow my not being vegan would help the protection and acceptance of trans people, I would go right now to the Sizzler and just absolutely destroy the fucking... What are those called?
	Vegans don't have these.
	What are they called?
	Where you can just eat a lot?
	A buffet?
	I would go fuck up the buffet.
	And it would be a total act of selflessness because you'd be doing it for trans people.
	So you can't equate the two, which is what he did.
	He was like, listen, you guys might care about people, but have you guys thought about the cows?
	Which just doesn't work.
	What if he was like, listen up Hollywood, I know you guys are all Jews, and you didn't like the Holocaust.
	Yeah.
	What if I told you there was a modern holocaust?
	Yep, exactly.
	Creatures that are even lower than the Jews.
	When like, all you really had to do was go up there and be like, hey fam, listen, um, I recently had an actual food, this might be a true story, I actually had a, I recently had a food scientist do a review, um, and Studies say that like, vegan cum just tastes better.
	That's for the ladies and the fellas.
	That's for all the cum, all the people cum.
	It all tastes better if it's vegan.
	That's coming from us food scientists.
	That would be more impactful.
	Do you need to be like a food scientist to taste cum?
	Like to compare the tastes of cum?
	That seems like more of like a sex scientist.
	No, but it makes it sound more valid.
	It makes it sound more valid because it's like, oh, this is not about the cum anymore.
	It's about the flavor of the cum.
	Well, I mean, you just get a vasectomy and that fixes that.
	I mean, there's still like a flavor to it.
	I don't know how that works.
	Stuff still comes out that still will taste different because of your diet.
	Let's move on to another thing about the Oscars that was funny that I saw on Facebook.
	This is from the Jordan B. Peterson Liberal Discussion Group.
	Which is a very interesting title for a Facebook group.
	I haven't really figured out this group.
	I'm new to this group.
	I've only been in it for about a month, a month and a half.
	They don't seem quite like liberals.
	They seem probably like classical liberals.
	They just seem kind of dumb, okay?
	Kiara Giedis posted a Babylon Bee article in this group.
	The headline reads, Oscars committee announces new host Jordan Peterson.
	Oh, Pulitzer Prize winning BabylonBee.com.
	For people who aren't aware, BabylonBee is the place where your dumbest Facebook friends get their news.
	The place where they get their news and then say, oh, I always knew it was satire, ha ha ha ha.
	Yeah.
	It's not good, folks.
	Carl Viet comments, what?
	Why was that edited?
	I like ironic edits, you know?
	poise him, tell them to s...v it.
	Why was that edited?
	Like, I like ironic edits, you know?
	I don't get this one at all.
	Why is this edited?
	There's something I should know?
	Well, I think maybe one of the 12 rules to life?
	Or 12 rules for living?
	What is it?
	What is his book?
	It says, don't curse.
	And save as a curse?
	Shove.
	Oh, it's shove it.
	It's shove it.
	See?
	See?
	That's why they needed to do this.
	Yeah.
	So innocent minds like yours wouldn't understand what they were trying to say.
	Yeah, oh wow.
	I'm actually happy he did it.
	I was real confused there.
	Thank you for that.
	Thank you, Carl.
	But I mean, hey!
	Tell them to sieve it.
	Tell them to filter out all the compounds from it.
	So he's like mad that they're even suggesting this, like, in this fake post?
	No, he thinks it's real.
	Like, three quarters of the people in this comment section, for highly intelligent people who understand what a force of nature Dr. Jordan B. Peterson is, believed that this was real.
	Well, I mean, I'm not trying to give him too much credit.
	I'm not even like a fan, but just his energy with him being gone right now.
	Look, I haven't made my bed in days.
	And my room is a mess.
	Are you doing it out of sadness?
	I didn't know I was doing it.
	And then I realized there's a direct correlation between him being gone and my bed being mad.
	And it's kind of fucking me up and we need to fight for JP.
	Wow, so his absence from America slash Canada, his absence, that's also why you're vegan now.
	You were on the all salt and beef diet.
	All salt, all meat, yep.
	No, not meat, beef.
	Beef.
	Well, I used to throw some venison in.
	That's not beef, huh?
	You can throw venison, like ballers throw venison in.
	That's just what I did.
	But yeah, it was, yeah.
	And since he's been gone, haven't touched the stuff.
	Since he's been gone, I'm not eating meat for the first time.
	No more songs.
	No more!
	Thanks to you, now I eat what I want!
	Have you noticed the development of my breast since it's been gone?
	Yeah, have I?
	Straight up soy boy over here.
	We need him back.
	I need him back so bad.
	Feel like pure chaos energy.
	Just want him back.
	I just want him back.
	I just want to make my goddamn bed!
	Uh, that's crazy.
	Have you heard, like, what's going on with him?
	Yeah, what the fuck?
	Like, what's insane?
	He's, like, going through withdrawals, right?
	So bad they put him in a coma?
	So what happened is he was on benzos, he was on anti-depressant, muscle relaxer type thing.
	What, like not Xanax, but some other thing.
	Yeah.
	And he was, dude, his daughter Mikayla or whatever her name is, her video about it is insane.
	She said he's he had a paradoxical reaction to the medicine that he was taking meaning that like instead of calming him down the benzos made him agitated so he was trying to stop taking them like everything about his condition right now is like oh there's this rare condition called a paradoxical reaction to medication that happens to like one in five million people and he's got it
	Oh and then there's also this other insanely rare reaction or this insanely rare phenomenon that happens to 1 in 5 million people and he's got that too.
	Yeah.
	And it's just amazing what a special person he is.
	He's a special boy.
	And we knew that but now we really know that.
	So he had to detox.
	He had to stop taking the medication as quickly as possible.
	But it's like detoxing from benzos, getting off benzos is like insanely painful and can kill you.
	Yeah.
	And so they were the only way to do it is by like tapering off of it.
	And those attempts were unsuccessful.
	So he went to Russia, which is one of the only places That will do the procedure where they put you into a coma and then fully remove you from the benzos so that you don't have to like suffer the withdrawal symptoms because you're in a coma.
	And there's also like a high chance of brain damage and neurological damage, which is I guess the same thing.
	I'm just trying to sound smart.
	And it happened to him, apparently.
	It happened to him.
	It's really likely.
	That's why they don't do it in places other than Russia.
	According to her YouTube video, he's recovering.
	People are acting like he's paralyzed now.
	People are acting like he doesn't have his bodily functions now.
	Which is crazy.
	I've been doing that for a while now.
	Months.
	Doing what?
	Pretending I live in a world where he can't control his bowels.
	So you're like, you've accepted it at this point?
	I've maybe willed it?
	I don't know.
	You've made your peace with his condition.
	Yeah.
	So it's been really hard for me.
	But what we're really getting at here is that every person out there who has been He's suffered through any type of opioid addiction and has fought through it and is mad at the other end.
	Whether they've relapsed or not, they are all better and stronger people than Jordan Peterson.
	100%.
	That's a fact.
	That's not up for debate.
	So every time someone tells you to, you know, make your bed.
	He would probably use words like man up.
	Yeah.
	That's what he would say.
	Listen bucko, you need to take life by the horns and put yourself into a coma so you don't have to deal with your drug addiction.
	Yeah.
	You can either chase that dragon, or you can body slam that dragon.
	Or, you can be put in a coma and not deal with it at all, at the risk of your own death because you're a coward.
	Yeah.
	Murray Oikel says about Jordan Peterson hosting the Oscars, it would likely... Which I forgot that's the premise.
	What a fucking wild premise.
	What a dumb idea.
	He's not even entertaining.
	You just like his ideas a lot.
	He's not entertaining at all.
	Zero charisma.
	Like, what is this idea?
	This is so stupid.
	Sorry.
	I think the source of this satire, the source of this joke, is Ricky Gervais hosting whatever he hosted.
	That makes sense, yeah.
	Wouldn't fucking Ricky Gervais host and he owned all the celebrities?
	Was it the Tonys?
	Who fuckin' knows, man.
	The Golden Globes, probably.
	I think it was the Golden Globes.
	The Emmys, the Golden Globes, whatever.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	That's the source of this joke.
	What if a conservative, like, contrarian hosted a different event?
	Yeah.
	Murray Oikel says it would likely be absolutely genius.
	People would complain and say they would boycott, but everyone would watch.
	But unfortunately, it will never happen.
	Yeah, unfortunately.
	It's tough on the streets.
	If I asked you whether or not you think Murray Oikel is wearing suspenders, what would your guess be?
	I think that with a name like Murray Oikel, you understand and you address every outfit with the probability of what would be more efficient, a belt and or suspenders.
	And I feel like Murray's the kind of guy that doubles up, doesn't take chances.
	It's true, we can only see his bust in this photograph.
	What I'm saying is he doesn't have a series of straps connected from his boxers to his socks.
	I can't speak on the suspenders.
	I'm going to give it a 65% chance.
	So you think he's got suspenders?
	Well, we know he's got suspenders.
	They're in the photo.
	But you think he's got suspenders, a belt, and like those garter straps that hook your boxers to your socks?
	I think so too.
	Yeah, for sure.
	So when he needs to go to the bathroom, he's got to take his suspenders off, he's got to undo his belt, and he's got to release his garter belts from his socks so he can fully disrobe for number two.
	Yeah, it just makes him feel kind of sexy.
	That's really what it's about.
	I'm in full control of when my socks fall.
	That's fully up to me.
	I have to unclip.
	I'm not risking rubbing it to my jeans and having it roll down.
	It's entirely my choice.
	That makes me feel sexy.
	It's like a form of bondage, almost.
	It's like I'm trapped within these clothes.
	Straps everywhere.
	And it's almost like my little playpen.
	It's like my little play area.
	Like close friends, they know that I'm wearing my outfit on the outside, but from basically nipples down, fully, fully sealed latex to the toes.
	It's basically like it has booties that are built into it, fully to the toes.
	That's why I wear socks with my Birkenstocks.
	Because I can't just go out with my latex and my Birkenstocks.
	You have like sweat pooled up to the knee.
	Absolutely.
	If that's what's going on.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I actually have little valves on my toes that you can open up and for the right price you can open them up yourself.
	That's a different Patreon level we'll talk about later.
	Luis Ferreira says, and now, so he's doing a bit.
	Okay, remember this is Jordan Peterson hosting the Oscars.
	There aren't any quotes around this comment, but picture this as this is what Luis imagines Jordan Peterson saying at the Oscars.
	And now, the award for Best Identity Politics Neo-Marxist Propaganda Film goes to... dot dot dot... Every MCU Film!
	What?
	What?
	Like... That's how Dr. Jordan B. Peterson would handle the Oscars.
	He would totally fucking own all those SJW Marvel movies!
	Don't, like, a bunch of, like, neo-Marxists, like, view those as, like, fascist propaganda films?
	Yeah, I mean, neo-Marxist is, uh, you know, kind of a meaningless statement.
	Uh, identity politics neo-Marxist propaganda film is just word salad that could only be concocted by somebody who has studied Dr. Jordan B. Peterson very closely.
	Yeah.
	Um, yeah.
	The MCU films are filled with nothing but pro-USA propaganda, military hardware, capitalist propaganda wherein titans of industry are the only people strong, smart, and wealthy enough to save all of us.
	Yeah, the best part about those is how at the end, somehow the most mega hero, somehow the ultimate hero, the one people are most attached to in the universe and the films, is Tony Stark.
	It's really interesting that it happens throughout.
	But yeah, at the end of the day, Virtue is really only...
	Cool with capitalism and if you have billions of dollars to invest in your virtue.
	Yeah, I mean he's like, you know, he's the original cool guy, entrepreneur, billionaire, tech whiz, playboy guy.
	Dude, I had a hard time with him because like, you know, Tony and we have that in common.
	Yeah.
	And then also my love for Ghostface.
	Oh yeah?
	Ghostface, aka Tony Stark.
	Okay.
	And so I was like, cool.
	At like, you know, 14, 15, I was like, okay, cool.
	I don't have a superpower, clearly.
	Turns out everyone can control the water off their finger in the shower.
	So I don't have like a real superpower, but maybe I can become a genius billionaire.
	Yeah.
	Or at least rap and have a giant gold eagle on my arm.
	So now I just podcast with a giant gold eagle on my arm.
	It's there, folks.
	I don't know, like Tony Stark, I genuinely like the character.
	I don't know, people like talk a lot of shit about the Marvel Cinematic Universe or whatever.
	I genuinely think he's a charismatic actor and a fun character, but it's obviously like, yeah, it's... His character at least represents like the Ayn Randian great man theory of economics and history and all that.
	Yeah, Elon Musk's favorite character is Tony Stark, obviously.
	No, Elon Musk would have, like, a totally dipshit, like, self-unaware... Silver Surfer, dude.
	Yeah, he'd be the Silver Surfer.
	Sure.
	Yeah, totally self-unaware.
	Yeah, it would be, like, he would, like, identify with Ant-Man or something.
	Like, the actual, like, thief.
	The cool thief in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
	Like, just somebody diametrically... because remember, he's a socialist.
	Elon Musk is a socialist.
	But anyway, yeah, you're definitely...
	Liberals are... I think one of the reasons for suppressing leftist ideas or leftist voices is specifically because it would attract a lot of these disaffected, jaded, cynical dudes on the right.
	Who see the quote virtue signaling of you know Wonder Woman or the virtue signaling of you know, yeah, there's obviously some sexism wrapped up in that but maybe they don't consider themselves sexist.
	Maybe they do consider themselves like You know, a force for equal rights.
	Maybe they do want equal rights, but they see these like, you know, wealthy Hollywood people being hypocrites about income inequality or whatever.
	Now, we leftists would say, oh, well, those are liberals.
	Marvel is owned by Disney, which is a corporation, a capitalist enterprise that sees a market for what you would call virtue signaling.
	They see a market for, you know, liberal, like, passive capitalist people to just support basically any economic or any political ideology as long as it has a female face on it.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	So if we could somehow convince that convince these people or if they just heard the uh yes MCU is like right-wing propaganda you don't like it because it's propaganda but you just don't know what it's propaganda for.
	Yeah well because because I with with specifically Captain Marvel when it came out I was like kind of conflicted because like the character was pretty cool in the sense that it was like A badass woman, albeit like a white woman, was like a badass woman who, you know, Had all these character traits that are typically assigned to male roles.
	Um, also there was a bit of like this like sub, like it's like small possibly.
	We like to be maybe optimistic about this.
	Like um, small like queer subplot with her and her best friend.
	Which we were all being optimistic about.
	I don't know if it was there or not.
	That's being presumptuous.
	So I got caught up in those things and totally ignored the whole military industrial complex propaganda that was right there in front of me.
	And I totally ignored that for that.
	But it's funny because they're doing the opposite.
	They're seeing what I saw and were like, that's disgusting.
	Totally ignoring the parts that I ignored to be like, that's disgusting.
	And I mean, all these Marvel movies are mostly, like, individualistic.
	You know, they're superheroes.
	They're a specific person who finds the strength.
	A specific person who draws on their own power in order to achieve change instead of, like, you know, organizing with their community.
	Or like forming social bonds and using like, you know, the society as a tool rather than just a environment or whatever.
	So it's propaganda in that respect as well.
	Let's move on.
	We're running a little long.
	Let's move on to the final Oscar segment of the night.
	An amazing tweet from John Miller.
	Insane.
	So this dude is he apparently works for Blaze TV now, but I know him as the host of the Facebook show White House Brief.
	He hosted a quote show on a channel called CRTV, which I don't know if they still exist anymore, called White House Brief, and he would sit behind a desk and he would just like, you know, Yell about how good Donald Trump is and about how bad MSNBC was or whatever.
	Like, he really showed the virtue of wearing sunglasses when you're screaming into a camera because people can't see how manic your eyes actually look.
	Yeah.
	Because, you know, he didn't wear sunglasses and it was a very uncomfortable viewing experience.
	Anyway, apparently he works for Blaze TV.
	Especially considering that, like, One thing we need to say about John Miller, another thing that makes us very uncomfortable to watch is John Miller is melanated.
	He is a presumably black man.
	And that makes everything he says worse.
	Because it's like, my man, who hurt you, bro?
	Yeah, he's what's going on.
	He's one of those guys that like racism isn't real.
	But he's so mad while he does it.
	It's just very uncomfortable.
	He's like a mad dork the whole time he does it.
	So he tweeted, Quote, a man named Bong Joon-ho wins hashtag Oscar for best original screenplay over Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and 1917.
	Acceptance speech was, quote, great honor.
	Thank you.
	Then he proceeds to give the rest of his speech in Korean.
	These people are the destruction of America.
	That's so wild, because I saw this exact same tweet a million times, but after it's said, then he proceeds to give a speech in Korean, they say, how incredible is that?
	Good job.
	Representation.
	This is beautiful.
	Before I, like, looked at his avatar and his handle, I saw this tweet and I was like, oh, this fucking rocks.
	He's, like, saying that this guy owned Hollywood or owned, like, you know, bigots or whatever by giving his speech in Korean.
	And I looked more closely and I was like, no, this guy's, like, genuinely upset and, like, hyperbolic, hysterical about this.
	And then he clarifies.
	He clarifies, because this went viral.
	People were like, oh shit, a little spicy there, John.
	Yeah, very spicy.
	A little spicy.
	He said, quote, these people, end quote, are obviously not Koreans.
	But those in Hollywood awarding a foreign film that stokes flames of class warfare over two films I thought were more deserving simply to show how woke they are.
	That should be clear from the rest of what I tweeted about tonight's production.
	Nah, dog.
	Nope.
	You really can't separate the two from what you said.
	Yeah.
	Not possible.
	Nice try, I guess.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He then proceeds to give the rest of his speech in Korean.
	These people are the destruction of America.
	Wow.
	And I love this.
	I love this because, like, for one thing, these are, you know, this is right-wing.
	What we talked about at the top of this long Oscars segment was basically that they don't care about the Oscars.
	Fuck the Oscars.
	It's nothing but libtards, etc.
	Who gives a shit?
	They shouldn't be allowed to have political opinions.
	Their political opinions don't matter.
	Who wants to hear that shit anyway?
	But this man is Projecting, predicting the death of America because a man talked in Korean on his TV for 45 seconds.
	Yep.
	Yep.
	I think obviously he cares a little bit about what happens in Hollywood.
	It's pretty wild.
	He's a little bit impassioned.
	Yeah, and I just love this.
	I love, like, fucking... ...pulling your hair out... ...like... ...sobbing... ...for the future of your children... ...because you saw a Korean man win an award... ...win a movie award on TV.
	No, it's funny too, because it's one of those things where, like... ...at the same time... ...this is obviously fucking... ...awful and super lame... ...but part of me is like...
	I'm happy that we have the example from somebody like John Miller because people are often very coded and not very Yeah.
	plain faced and they usually try to like code and hide or like not even talk about their their orientalism and um john miller is like leaning into it here yeah which is rare and to see like not only it happening but then see like like you know a black man doing it is pretty like because that's very real it's refreshing yeah well you know what i mean though yeah
	Yeah, it's like it is because it's like oh shit Hopefully this does maybe some woke people will see this and will like be like, oh, yeah I I kind of forgot about Orientalism like that's a thing that happened all the time.
	Yeah And to see it happen now, we know it's from some conservative pundit from some you know, somebody who's some like Expert of the soft shoe is doing this and It's good because it's like, oh yeah, that is not just your typical white guy who we expect it from.
	So in this case, it is kind of good to have that, like, tokenism, because it is something that's not talked about enough at all.
	And to have this blatant example right here in front of us is pretty, pretty, um, hopefully, maybe some people talk about it.
	Hopefully some people talk about it.
	I just love, like, the equation, like, you're the first person to say, Hollywood, they're celebs, they're out of touch, nothing they do matters, et cetera, but also because a Korean won best picture, or this is actually best original screenplay, like, America's doomed.
	Yeah, yeah.
	We are, and I, I, like, I'm picturing, like, a Fashwave meme that says, uh, never forget what Bong Jooho stole from you.
	And it's like Bong Joon-ho holding up the Oscar with red, glowing eyes.
	It's like, this could have been yours.
	This Oscar for Best Original Screenplay could have been yours, young man.
	Young white man.
	What's great too is he does go on to kind of clarify that he's like, no no, I'm also talking about the fact that being nominated for Best Foreign Picture should just qualify you.
	from Best Picture was wild.
	That's something that a lot of people are saying.
	We'll get into that in a second.
	But yeah, people are saying, well, you can't be both Best Foreign Film and Best Film in general.
	It doesn't make sense.
	It doesn't make sense.
	How can you be the Best Film?
	If you're nominated for two categories, how could you be the best film in both categories?
	You're an undocumented film.
	You don't get all the same benefits.
	But like, animated films have their own category, and they can also be nominated for Best Picture.
	And they haven't very often, and that's a goddamn shame.
	And we'll talk about that later.
	Mm-hmm.
	Yeah.
	But no, I think I would be good at making bad, like fascist trad-cath propaganda.
	I think like anti-counter-- Counterproductive Fashwave propaganda.
	Like, I want to make a meme that says, which way, western man?
	And on the left it has Brad Pitt from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and on the right it has Chris Evans from Snowpiercer eating crickets.
	Eating cricket mash.
	Shoot, take your choice.
	Choose wisely.
	I fucking love that scene when they find the crickets.
	Just horrified.
	They've witnessed people being slaughtered at this point.
	And they're just like, oh, this is the worst thing ever!
	I've eaten all these crickets!
	And you're like in the audience saying, you eat cow flesh!
	Yeah, exactly.
	I was like, I'd rather eat fuckin' cricket jello.
	Alright, uh, Vaporwave meme.
	On the left it says, Reject Degeneracy.
	And it has a young girl with, uh, Okja.
	Being friends with Okja.
	And then on the right it says, Embrace Tradition.
	Uh, and it has Leonardo DiCaprio's character throwing a young girl to the ground in that saloon scene.
	Yep, yep.
	The thing is, that shit would pop.
	People would be into that.
	They would be into that.
	Don't make that.
	Yeah, and these people... I love him trying to cover... Oh, these people.
	I'm not saying these people.
	I don't mean these people.
	That classic racist phrase, these people, that I used right after freaking out about somebody speaking Korean.
	Of course I wasn't being racist against Koreans.
	No, that's crazy.
	By these people are the destruction of America.
	I meant Hollywood.
	I meant Hollywood is the destruction of America.
	Why are they the destruction of America?
	For giving an award to Koreans.
	Koreans.
	Okay.
	Alright, thanks for the clarification, dude.
	This is like the opposite of like, like, this is the opposite of like, hate the sin, love the sinner.
	It's like, no, no, it's not the Koreans' fault.
	It's Hollywood for nominating them.
	Listen, I didn't mean these people by black people.
	I meant these people by the Jews who are controlling the black people.
	Yeah and uplifting the Koreans.
	And then also there's an amazing photo of Bong Joon-ho making his two Oscars kiss each other.
	Which in my opinion is just another act of virtue signaling.
	Just saying, oh look at this, my Oscars are gay.
	Aren't I so virtuous?
	Aren't I so woke that my Oscars can be gay with each other?
	I heard that NBC is actually trying to like sue him for trying to take the role of a gay Oscar from The Office.
	Okay, well we'll see how that plans out.
	Yeah.
	See what happens there.
	Yeah, we don't have time for that last video.
	That's the episode.
	Thanks so much for listening.
	Hey, you can get more content at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
	There's like two months of episodes you've probably missed and they're all pretty fucking good if I do say so myself.
	I think so.
	Yeah, $3 a month gets you those bonus episodes every week, even when my work schedule slash depression prevents us from doing a free episode.
	There are still Patreon episodes available every week.
	And $5 a month gets you a pack of stickers as well.
	You get those episodes and the stickers.
	You get access to all the previous episodes every upcoming episode at P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Minion Death Cult.
	And that new heat, those new stickers.
	They'll be going out very soon, and they're fuckin' fire.
	We got new Uncut Gems themed stickers coming out.
	And yeah, very excited to get some of those myself, actually.
	They're great.
	They're awesome.
	So thanks for listening, folks.
	Love y'all.
	Bye.
	Bye.
	Did you hear?

▲