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Aug. 19, 2019 - Minion Death Cult

01:16:18

Bernie is Jewish. I don't like identity politics and I'm really confused feat. Psychic Dolphin Garage

This week Psychic Dolphin Garage helps us cover the Portland Proud Boy Rally, Israel's ban on Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib, and a libertarian murder fantasy about red flag laws—all from the perspective of the truly confused. Support the show, get weekly bonus content, and a chance to win a Minion Death Coozie at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Music: Leeway - Mark of the Squealer

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	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
	We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
	All their environment, all stuff.
	Stay tuned.
	Alright, I'm Alexander Edward.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Colts.
	The world is ending.
	Unconstitutional cops, just the worst kind of cops, are responsible.
	We're documenting it.
	So, we have a fun episode for everybody today.
	Really excited to talk about it.
	And joining us are the gentlemen from the Psychic Dolphin Garage Podcast.
	How you guys doing?
	Hello!
	Hey!
	Doing great.
	Why don't you go ahead and introduce yourselves and tell us a little bit about what your podcast is.
	Sure, sure.
	My name's Kelton.
	I'm one of the co-hosts of Psychic Dolphin Garage.
	Basically, what we are is a pop-culture fuckery.
	I'm sorry, can we officially curse on this podcast?
	Okay, fantastic.
	I know it sometimes happens to leak through.
	I didn't know if that was encouraged or not.
	It's a family-friendly show.
	This is a free speech broadcast.
	You say what you want because this is still in America that we're recording this in.
	Yeah, you can say whatever you want because, yeah, there are five of us on this episode so they won't be able to cancel us all.
	Strength in numbers.
	True solidarity.
	Joining me is one of my other co-hosts.
	He's my good buddy, Zach.
	Hey guys, I'm Zach.
	We do this weekly and we round up everything between me and Kelton and then our other buddy Bo laughs at us.
	Yes.
	Basically, as I was saying before we started recording, I'm the guy who just gets toasted and gives bad takes.
	But I fill that niche very well, and I appreciate you guys having me around.
	So, yeah.
	Nice.
	Well, thank you so much for doing the show.
	I gotta say, I love the name.
	Love the name of the podcast.
	What's that about?
	Yeah, what the fuck is that about?
	Well, we wanted something that really was just the perfect thing that a 14-year-old boy would want to click on and subscribe to.
	And I mean, we really went for it after that.
	We slapped together some illegal podcast art, and then we just decided to make a go of it.
	Why not appeal to the worst parts of ourselves?
	It was funny.
	Go ahead, Tony.
	I think it's just genius.
	Dolphins, pod, podcast, like look at you guys.
	That just clicked.
	I think it's so clever.
	That was absolutely on purpose.
	Yeah, of course.
	It's obvious and I respect that.
	What do you call three white dolphins in a group together?
	So, um, yeah, before we get into the main content for this episode, uh, I just want to give a brief dispatch from the Portland rally that happened on Saturday.
	Uh, these were, this is the, you know, the Portland, uh, far right rally, just, um, busloads, uh, of far right proud boys.
	What, what is that American Vanguard?
	What's the name of that neo-Nazi group?
	Uh, Power Prayer?
	Well, Patriot Prayer.
	Patriot Prayer, yeah.
	But there's another one.
	It's their American Front, something like that.
	American Front is one.
	They're really bad at SEO.
	I mean, it all just blurs together.
	They all came to Portland to try and pick a fight with Antifa, and then they all cried a bunch of big crocodile tears when they got it.
	From everything that I've seen, it looked pretty successful.
	They were outnumbered like, I don't know, 10 to 1 or something.
	But we have a dispatch from the Liberty Hangouts comment section.
	This comes from Patrick Wells, who is our Liberty Hangouts correspondent.
	I believe he's from the Piss Your Pants caucus of the Libertarian Party, which is a small cadre within the larger, you know, Shit Your Pants organization, but they're gaining in numbers.
	Patrick Wells says, this is wrong in all manners.
	So he's referring to the fights that broke out between Antifa and the far-right, I don't know, instigators.
	This is wrong in all manners.
	But you know it's conservatives' fault too.
	Interesting.
	Interesting direction to go with this.
	It's their fault they care so much for this country and the upholding of liberty and peace and in that conservatives find reason to be peaceful to all sides even though it's two different beliefs conservatives need to start fighting for their country.
	Stop being so peaceful and push back.
	You can only rattle a sleeping dog so much before it bites back.
	Sometimes, to obtain peace, an unpeaceful fight must be fought.
	Wow, man.
	Like, I can't believe it's downgraded from a lion, a bear, to like a dog now.
	It's just a regular dog now?
	It's gonna be a sleeping guinea pig, you know, next year.
	Is it a dragon for a minute?
	I mean... I think Patrick raises a good point, though.
	You know, what we really need in this country is more conservative violence to start occurring.
	You know, they just need to rise up.
	Right?
	Yeah, I mean, before that, like, you know, Antifa was just, uh, running around fighting nothing, uh, and then now that, you know, conservatives have risen up, uh, they got something to fight now.
	Finally.
	Look at that, they were just reacting to nothing.
	Yeah, smashing Starbucks windows and, you know.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	I have another comment.
	This is a dispatch from the Joe Rogan Facebook group.
	I'll just read it real quick because it's amazing.
	You know, Joe Rogan, the podcast groups on Facebook at least, skew very far right.
	So it's just been nothing but like, you know, either making fun of Antifa for being pussies or like, clutching your pearls about how large and terrifying that group is.
	And somebody commented, uh, righties roll into town with a sign on the bus that calls the locals terrorists, and when the locals get pissed, the right tries to frame them as unhinged.
	And then, uh, somebody responds, quote, blacks roll into town trying to get our, trying to get into our schools.
	When local citizens get involved, the National Guard has to show up.
	There's a reason why we aren't a democracy.
	The amount of people as fucking braindead as you that don't realize that the number one priority is to protect the minority is embarrassing in 2019.
	I feel like they have... they're misunderstanding which bus scenes we're talking about.
	I feel like they're misunderstanding a lot.
	Yeah.
	I think they just saw the literal school buses that the Proud Boys rolled in on and they were like, is this integration?
	There aren't enough racists in our schools.
	I never thought I would get a comparison between the Proud Boys and school desegregationists, but that's pretty great.
	They're just trying to participate in the community.
	Maybe I've been thinking about everything like completely wrong here.
	Maybe the whole thing is that like these people really do want the black experience.
	Like they really do want to live it because I mean they're constantly playing victim and now they're to the point where like we just want to be part of you but we don't want to change you know we just want to be part of you and you guys are going to be we just want to be hateful next to you um and you're going to be violent towards us they just want the full authentic experience you know and I Gotta give it to them.
	Good for them, you know?
	Getting milkshakes poured on your head is cultural appropriation.
	Hey, black people love milkshakes.
	That's a stereotype you can take home with you.
	Just put that in my butt.
	I mean, that's why we're starting to switch over into mayonnaise, you know?
	We have to have our own unique rebrand of things.
	You know damn well that the Mayonnaise Miracle Whip is a heated debate that we're not gonna go down that route right now.
	Because I've just graduated to vegan-ace, and that's... There you go.
	It's a big step.
	It's always nice to see someone who's willing to vote third party all the way.
	Yeah, exactly.
	The real answer.
	So obviously this like, you know, anti-democratic message nested within his just concern for the minority here, which of course he means white, right-wing Americans.
	Yeah, and it just, you know, we've seen this a lot on this show, you know, we live in a constitutional, et cetera, not a democracy.
	And it's funny that there is just kind of giving the game away here.
	Like the very reason they suddenly decided to hate democracy is because they realize they're now in the minority.
	Oh no.
	Oh no, we're extremely unpopular.
	Gotta get rid of this whole democratic thing.
	Yeah, what do you mean capitalism no longer holds us as the core consumers of its products and is instead appealing to some sort of nebulous Marxists on the left?
	Yeah, it's called oppression.
	Let's move on to the main thrust of this episode, at least the first half of it.
	We're going to be talking about Israel's new Muslim ban against Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib, which seems to have been spurred by a Trump tweet.
	You know, people are saying it's because of the Trump tweet.
	It might be that, you know, Trump gave them the sort of political leeway to do what they would have done anyway.
	I don't know why they would have ever thought Trump would have a problem with this, even if he didn't say anything.
	But I'm gonna read the tweet here.
	Trump says, Trump tweets, it would show great weakness if Israel allowed Rep Omar and Rep Tlaib to visit.
	They hate Israel and all Jewish people and there is nothing that can be said or done to change their minds.
	And I love that Trump is just like a right-wing grandma meme at this point.
	They hate Israel and all Jewish people.
	Like just, just a statement so patently false, so cartoonishly false, that it could have, you know, that there's probably like at least five fact-checking websites devoted to just this tweet now.
	Oh yeah, absolutely.
	Oh god, Washington Post with three Pinocchios.
	Yeah, the Snopes offices are just, you know, on fire basically.
	It's just like, you know, Rep Omar, in her own words, said that since white men are too strong and patriotic and masculine to ever submit to Islam, they must be thrown in chains.
	We all know that all white men are much too endowed to actually follow the Muslim faith in its entirety.
	I actually read this fanfiction, yeah.
	Yeah, contrary to popular belief, white suburban males cannot be cucked.
	My wife Brenda and her instructor are just friends.
	You know okay I actually I gotta push back against this real quick because you know I've been seeing this you know this thing about there was some story about somebody who was like actually cucked recently about some somebody whose like wife actually slept with somebody else yeah yeah the thing about cucked is cucked implies consent okay yeah so let's just let's just let's just leave all of our I would lose a lot of business if we started I'm sorry I didn't I didn't say that what I'm saying is
	Don't shame these people.
	It's actually a power play if you think about it.
	Because I couldn't afford to pay me what they pay me.
	That guy in the beta cuck shirt for life was just smashing Proud Boys left and right at that rally.
	Which was awesome.
	But I think he got arrested, which is unfortunate.
	Well hopefully somebody post bail.
	Noted conservative group, Proud Boys, cucked by Cuck.
	Who cucks the Cuckmen.
	I mean, wasn't one of them?
	Oh no, that was like Identity Europa or whatever.
	Yeah.
	Identity Europa, yeah.
	They went through their own massive series.
	You know, the Nazis had their night of long knives and the Proud Boys had the night with each other's wives.
	God.
	A. As long as there's a conversation before and afterwards.
	Go for it!
	I love Tony's very business-like approach to this.
	Like, let's not get rid of market share here.
	Business-like and sex-positive, I gotta say.
	This is a much hornier stance than I might be letting on.
	You hit it here first, Minion Death Colt.
	Secretly, part of the horny left.
	This decision by Israel was met with, like, near universal condemnation, which is just funny because it's probably one of the least worst things Israel's done in the last few months.
	But I guess it's fine.
	It's fine that Israel is catching flack for anything, especially from AIPAC, right?
	Yeah!
	APAC actually said, you know, while we do hate Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib, it's still kind of, it's a bad look.
	It's a bad look to block them.
	It's amazing that even fucking Israel is to mask off for APAC at this point.
	Like this, like this is the, this is the breaking point.
	Cool.
	Yeah.
	Good.
	The best ones were like, don't do this.
	Oh no, don't block Ilhan Omar, Israel.
	You're so sexy.
	Ah, you know, it was like, Literally people tweeting that out like, oh no, you're just making yourself look as bad as you actually are.
	Please don't do this or I won't be able to defend you anymore.
	I do think it is like, I do think it kind of sucks that I think a lot of the story is the tweet.
	You know, only because without the tweet it might have got under the radar.
	Why was the tweet happening in the first place?
	I think he is influential in that sense.
	I do think that they saw that and they're like, there's no bitch in my blood.
	Don't ever say that.
	And I think that there is some responsibility for it.
	When you're at a bar and you see something going on and you're the guy that walks up and says, oh, you won't.
	You're not down.
	You're gonna let him do you like that?
	You're not down?
	That person should be hold cold bull too.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You know, if you don't start no shit, there won't be no shit.
	Exactly!
	Let's get into comments here.
	Janice Burant says about Omar and Tlaib being banned from Israel.
	Happy dance!
	We should had let them board their flight and then detain them after their flight landed in Israel.
	Detain them for as long as possible.
	I had a friend from Iraq and he told me he was held in an Iraqi jail for eight years.
	He was never charged with a crime.
	He was thrown in jail because he said, fuck Saddam.
	And one day, eight years later, they let him go.
	To be fair, that is the standard drug.
	It's right there, like law number two or three in the Iraqi law books.
	You can't say F-Sodom.
	No, you can't say it.
	How wild is that?
	Just like, we shouldn't make them prisoners of war.
	Have you thought about that?
	Yeah, speaking of mask off, holy shit.
	I love this because we've seen the whole, like, put them in Guantanamo Bay comment ad nauseam.
	We see that comment all the time.
	Like, oh no, just like, don't even try them.
	Just like, just remove them.
	You know, take them away.
	But I included this comment because of her rationale.
	Like, her reasoning.
	Like, oh, I learned about indefinite detention because I had a friend held captive for eight years without a trial.
	I think this could really work in this situation.
	Yeah, he said it was pretty bad.
	So, I mean, that sounds reasonable.
	I want her to suffer pretty bad.
	Did you guys know about this?
	Did you guys know about this whole black site thing?
	Sounds pretty cool.
	Why are we not using this?
	It sounds like a good asset.
	I don't understand.
	We have the cards.
	He said we don't need any justification whatsoever.
	Isn't that neat?
	That's pretty cool, I'm just saying.
	One life hack to make the Muslims in your area furious.
	Enhanced torture.
	Yeah.
	Let me tell you, as soon as either of these ladies say fuck Saddam, they're in big trouble.
	Hey Saddam, guess what?
	You're cancelled.
	How about that, right?
	Mike Vom Voss says, but Sarah Sanders gets thrown out of a restaurant?
	Where's the outcry?
	And I just want to say, there was plenty of outcry.
	It was on this podcast.
	I had to hold Tony back after Antifa disrespected his queen.
	Well, it's been a real pain in my ass.
	Like, you know, we haven't been able to go out to eat since.
	Hey, but thanks to Blue Apron, Me and Miss Sanders, we eat good every night of the week.
	And it doesn't cost as much as you think either.
	The portions are already made up for you, everything's cut and diced for you.
	Ready in 15-20 minutes.
	And there's nobody screaming at you, telling you what a terrible, fucking despicable person you are.
	I actually just scream at the box of Blue Apron when I leave it at Tony's doorstep.
	But unfortunately it does make the vegan meat taste better when you torture it a little bit.
	It does, it does.
	It's a little more authentic.
	Do you think there could be a leftist version of Blue Apron called Red Sickle?
	There actually is, and it's my sourdough feed I have on Instagram.
	Hell yeah!
	It's Sickles Harvest, and I bake sourdoughs and every once in a while I post a little Marcus here, a little socialist rhetoric here, there.
	Mostly just some real sexy bread pics.
	Yeah, it's like a cute selfie and it's like, uh oh, about to conquest this bread.
	No, this is absolutely not a joke.
	I have some wonderful miso sesame sourdough that is poofing in the fridge right now.
	I will bake it off after we're done recording.
	That sounds fucking delish.
	This is my new favorite Instagram feed.
	Everyone needs to go immediately.
	Yeah, no, this is the podcast now.
	I just want to hear more about bread.
	This is cool.
	Hashtag leftist loaves.
	Unfortunately, we're moving on to a different food topic here, because Larry Maddox says about Ilhan Omar, maybe she's a threat to Israel's pork industry.
	God.
	Dammit.
	So, this is a thing I really love about being here and being on Minion Death Cult, because these kind of comments where it's just so fucking worm-brained and so goddamn dumb that it's barely coherent.
	I mean, it's so dumb as if a couple congresswoman could ever put a dent in Israel's massive pork industry.
	Hey, don't you know that the seven Muslim people in America have wrecked the U.S.
	pork industry?
	I can barely find bacon in the grocery store these days.
	There were so many bacon replies.
	Everybody was celebrating with bacon gifts.
	Epic bacon, BB!
	Great going!
	Have some bacon on me, Benjamin Netanyahu.
	Orthodox practitioners definitely also eat bacon.
	Yeah, that was going to be my next question.
	I vaguely remember dating a woman who was a semi-practicing Jewish person.
	And I don't exactly remember too many Wendy's Baconators shared between us for some reason.
	Yeah, now the Jews will be able to celebrate Christmas in peace.
	Noah Omar is banned from Israel.
	A very insane comment.
	I love it.
	You love to see it.
	I thought it got a little too violent though when I saw the coffin made out of epic bacon.
	I thought that was insinuating a little too much against her there.
	I mean, you might be joking, but, like, there are so many bacon-related comments every week that I just can't fit into the episode that do involve death, you know?
	Like... Oh yeah!
	Pouring my grandmother's ashes into an urn to own the libs is just made of bacon.
	Yeah.
	Waterboard them with bacon grease, or, uh, you know, force-feed them BLTs, or whatever.
	It's amazing to know that it is still 2006 in these people's brains.
	Yeah.
	I love that.
	Oh, I thought you were talking about the actual deaths caused by bacon.
	Cardiac arrest.
	Hey, by the way, the bacon coffin is actually pretty sick.
	It's a coffin painted to look like bacon.
	It looks like pink and red tiger stripes.
	It's actually pretty, it's more fierce than it is fat.
	For some reason Kiss is selling it on their website.
	Despite Gene Simmons' Jewish cultural background.
	This is bewildering.
	It's where he puts all the retired players from his arena football league.
	Okay, so moving on to Bernie Sanders' response.
	Bernie Sanders has kind of been killing it lately.
	A lot of good stuff.
	He responded to this with, if Israel doesn't want members of Congress visiting, maybe they don't want American money.
	Which is, you know...
	A little passive-aggressive.
	So his statement was like, you know, I respectfully suggest that maybe they don't accept the money that we're still definitely going to give them, you know?
	Yeah.
	And of course people had a field day with this comment, at least on the right wing, but In the center and on the left, this comment was extremely popular.
	I mean, in normie comment sections like Politico or The Hill or whatever, almost every comment was like, yes, that makes no sense.
	Why are we giving them billions of dollars in aid, sustaining their economy, granting free health care to all their citizens, free abortion, and we can't do that for people here?
	And people took it further.
	People were like, I don't care what they, you know, I don't care if they allow Congresswomen in or not.
	We need to stop sending them money, period.
	And it wasn't just from the anti-Semitic far right.
	It was just normal people saying, yeah, this makes no sense.
	So I think this is another Joe Rogan-esque win for Bernie Sanders that just resonates with a lot of like normal ass people who are like, yeah, why are we doing this?
	Oh yeah, yeah.
	The drug guys are like, why do we send money over to the ruling class and sustain them when we can't even support our veterans?
	Yeah, exactly.
	I mean, really, shouldn't only Germany be paying for that for Israel?
	Honestly, yeah.
	Shouldn't that really just be their debt?
	Shouldn't their schools be suffering and not ours?
	I'm just saying.
	Like, Angela Merkel personally cuts a check, like, every month just to fuckin', like, like, hey, you did this.
	Like, fuckin', like, own up to it.
	Yeah, this is your fault.
	Italy and Japan just start sweating nervously, like, ah man, we really lucked out on this one.
	Egypt, however, is just dancing in the background.
	They're like, don't worry about us.
	Yeah, they're fucking just dozy-doing with the fucking British.
	Like, we are not culpable!
	So Michael Chevette says in the Breitbart News comments section, Money that Bernie spends goes down the drain.
	At least on Israel, America benefits from it.
	Please explain, because it's been blowing my mind my entire life.
	Israel's massive manufacturing pour.
	The massive manufacturing products that they make and they ship over to the U.S.
	Oh, you're talking about this homemade soda water that I have here that I made in my soda stream.
	Yeah, soda stream would be at least twice as expensive.
	It's so much more refreshing than regular water.
	Yeah, my only note for this comment was, what?
	Because, yeah, like, it's incredible, you know, hey, money that he wants to spend on, like, infrastructure and public health, et cetera, just goes down the drain!
	At least when we send it to another country, America benefits from it.
	They're referring to the programs where, like, as a young Jew you get to go back As an American young Jew, you get to go back to Israel and explore things.
	Get radicalized by the far right over there.
	Yeah, totally.
	And even some Catholics even find a way to weasel themselves into that.
	Like maybe some fan members of mine who got to go over there for free by claiming being Jewish by way of Catholicism.
	Hey, hey, hey, the first Catholic was a Jew.
	The first Catholic was a Jew.
	No, no, no, you don't understand.
	My best friend is Jewish.
	Are you talking about Jesus?
	I love that.
	But yeah, that's the benefit.
	That's it.
	We get free tourism for a select few.
	I think maybe when he says money that Bernie Sanders wants to spend goes down the drain, he's referring to fixing the pipes in Flint, Michigan.
	That'd be tight.
	That'd be super tight.
	We don't see it anymore.
	You know, I like to think of this, too, as him saying the money Bernie himself personally spends, just, Bernie has never, you know, gone to the grocery store, you know, paid for gas, nothing.
	It's just he fucking flushes every paycheck he's ever gotten in his life.
	Because that's how bad those socialists are with money, am I right?
	Yep.
	I'm waiting to see the story where, like, Bernie's stealing toilet paper from, like, You know, the halls of D.C.
	Like, that's how he's saving his money.
	From a fuckin' wobble house in, like, outside, yeah, just outside D.C.
	in, like, Maryland or something.
	This is how you can have three houses.
	Just don't buy toilet paper anymore.
	Just steal it from New York.
	Uh, Lee Dan says, Bernie is Jewish.
	I don't like identity politics and I'm really confused.
	This is the realest comment.
	This is like...
	I feel so seen!
	It's like, yeah, no shit, you are confused.
	Yeah.
	What's happening here?
	Not always me and him showing his ass.
	Maybe he's just saying that he's G-Wish.
	Totally, yeah.
	Yeah, I love this.
	I don't like identity politics, nor do I know anything about it.
	But I don't like this, so I'm assuming it's that other thing I don't like.
	When literally Bernie is going against his quote identity by picking a fight with Israel.
	This is like the opposite of the thing you don't like.
	Even just in the same breath where it's like, I don't like identity politics, but I also like Bernie's Jewish.
	Are you guys aware that Bernie's Jewish?
	Bernie's so Jewish, what?
	Yeah, well, if you're Jewish or if you're black, that's the kind of politics you do.
	Yeah, obviously.
	You just do identity politics by virtue of your identity.
	Whoa.
	We're kind of like not being nice enough to this comic, because what if this is Israel, like, he's really reaching out for some answers, he's like, wait, hold on, I thought that Israel was like, cool for Jews, I thought that's what we were doing, because we like, love Jews, but Bernie's Jewish and he doesn't like it, what's really going on?
	Like, this is the first time that's clicking for them, yeah.
	Wait, whoa, hold on, this is...
	This has nothing to do with record labels.
	Why are we... What is going on?
	Why are we doing this?
	I don't understand.
	I mean, the waters do get very muddied when the Prime Minister of Israel has this strong Philly accent to him.
	He's right to be confused, I guess.
	So this comment is from TheConservativeGma, which is an account I just started following that I like a lot.
	They reposted that Beto meme, kind of like similar to what I was talking about with that Omar meme about putting white men in chains since they're too virile to ever submit to Islam or whatever.
	Uh, this, this Beto comment, uh, which a friend of the show actually created, uh, check out QAnonOfficial on Instagram.
	Uh, the meme is Beto and the caption is like, there's nothing more worthless than old people and veterans.
	If I could, I would throw them both in the garbage.
	Which has been steadily shared thousands of times on Facebook in the, like, eight months since it was created.
	Which is pretty amazing.
	There are Snopes articles and PolitiFact articles dedicated to it.
	Rocky Ramos, in this Israel conversation, Rocky Ramos says about Israel, about Bernie Sanders wanting them to decline the money.
	Rocky Ramos says, they don't need Americans' money.
	They have a heavenly father that has all the riches.
	They are God's chosen people, dot dot.
	Read the Bible.
	They win at the end.
	Fucking spoiler warnings, please.
	Come on, dude.
	My God.
	I haven't gotten there yet.
	Could you imagine, like, going to school, knowing that, like, World War II happened, and still being like, the Jews win.
	Like, the Jews were the winners at the end of this book.
	They really made out good.
	Also, they didn't even fucking win in the book!
	What are you talking about?
	Yeah!
	I was literally about to say... The ones you literally die is like... The whole book they're getting fucked over.
	It really is absolutely bizarre.
	I mean, I understand the name of the podcast, but like, these are a legit death cult.
	All the people who start talking about Jews being God's chosen people, because they're like, yeah, we have to exalt them up.
	That way then Armageddon happens and then they can all burn in the lake of fire for not agreeing with me.
	You know, that's just the way it's going to work.
	Yeah.
	The end of the Bible is Judaism going away forever.
	Yeah, that's the solution that happens in the final days of the Bible.
	Let's get into the next comment.
	So Thomas Bennett says, uh, it's really simple.
	The Democrats have sold out to the Muslims and are trying to seize control of our country.
	You doubt me?
	Look at every Democrat.
	They have a Muslim handler in the background, always on the phone, receiving orders, telling them what to say.
	Huh?
	It's a take.
	Which is, yeah, I love this comment.
	Yeah, it reminds me of that scene in The Sixth Sense when, like, the mom is going through all the childhood photos of Haley Joel Osment, and, like, there's a speck of light next to him in every photo, but instead of some, like, spectral phenomenon, Thomas is just seeing, like, a nicely kept Muslim man in the background, like, talking to catering on the phone or something.
	He's like, oh my god, I see Muslim people.
	And they don't know they're Muslim.
	Just really trying to picture someone thinking that Tom Delaney has a Muslim handler for some unknown reason.
	I like to imagine that in this bizarro world, the Democratic Party is now in bed with the Nation of Islam, and we are actually progressing radical black ideals.
	That'd be cool.
	There actually was a correspondent.
	There's one representative there to make sure that we're not hating black people.
	You were just looking at a black tie event.
	They're not Nation of Islam.
	Exactly.
	It's like Angels in the Outfield.
	Every time they go to say something, the angel comes, and it's a Muslim angel whispering in their ear what they need to say.
	But only he can see them.
	Nobody else believes that there are Muslims there.
	I think Danny Glover has played, like, more than one Muslim.
	Yeah, so you're not off here.
	I mean, between Danny Glover, Nation of Islam, Hollywood, Bernie Sanders people, this can happen.
	There's literally no way for me to safely answer that.
	Even though he was one of the first people to die in the Saw movie, you can still tell he's controlling things behind the scenes.
	He was on the phone the whole time, which I thought was a weird detail.
	Giving orders.
	Receiving orders.
	Yeah.
	Telling them what to say.
	El Mejor replies to an account called Iraqistan Vet Patriot on Breitbart.
	Elmehor says, many Jewish Americans have forsaken their heritage for the almighty dollar.
	Which I feel like there's something about this comment for like everybody to get mad at.
	There's something about this comment for like the far left to get mad at.
	There's something about this comment for the far right to get mad at.
	Yeah, in the alternate universe where Bizarro Minion Death Cult exists, they're like, no, this is totally not reflective of the Jewish racial character.
	They're doing ironic Semitism?
	Yeah.
	There's a right-wing podcast called, I think they're called The Right Stuff, and somebody live-streams their episodes into, like, the Bill O'Reilly Fox News Facebook group, and I just talk shit to them anytime I see it.
	But, um, it's, they, all they do is talk about- Thank you for your service.
	Yeah, you're welcome.
	All they do is talk about Jews, and what they do is they bleep out the word Jew with a change sound.
	Like a Mario coin.
	I've tried to get them banned from Facebook several times, but they will not do it.
	They just love that content.
	Well, thanks Facebook.
	That's how you know that the Geppetto strings are really being pulled here.
	Because if you look up the right stuff, first you will find the movie The Right Stuff from 1983.
	Way less relevant.
	Starring Dennis Quaid.
	And then you will find the song by the New Kids on the Block.
	The Right Stuff.
	Which is honestly just way more anti-semitic than the movie.
	No, which is actually an anthem.
	An anthem of the American Jewish people.
	I don't know if you know about Code, but the hook to that song is, O-O-O-O.
	O-O-O.
	O-O-O.
	The Right Stuff.
	The Right Stuff.
	And if you know what O stands for, you're terrified right now.
	Okay, let's move on to the second topic of the night, okay?
	We are discussing a post from several pages.
	This is a viral post, but the page in question, once my browser loads here, is called Obscure Guns Emporium.
	Don't like that.
	Okay, and the post is titled, The Dark Reality of Red Flag Laws.
	So this is in response to obviously the recent mass shootings we had.
	Trump made some rhetorical gestures toward red flag laws, and I don't think we really have a lot of time to get into it.
	Red flag laws could be a good idea if they were doing things like targeting people who are expressing the kinds of sentiments we cover on this show all the time.
	Uh, I don't think that that's what the federal government would be doing with these red flag laws if they were actually enacted.
	Absolutely not.
	Uh, same thing with a mental health database.
	Like, these just seem like really bad ideas to give to, uh...
	I guess any federal government, but especially the far right federal government we have currently.
	And so libertarian minded people were reacting negatively towards, you know, Trump's gestures towards enacting some sort of red flag law, which if you don't know is, I mean, we'll read about it, but it's basically
	Somebody can, like, say, hey, this person's crazy, they have a lot of guns, they're making threats, etc., and the police come and investigate and possibly take your guns away because of, you know, statements you've made or your previous actions, etc.
	So, far-right people... Well, just real quick.
	Yeah.
	Just real quick, the whole concept of a red flag law is so insulting because all it really means is we're not going to treat cis white men like we do every other group.
	Yeah.
	True.
	Because if you're brown or anything that's not a cis white man, and you say anything off the cusp, on the internet, anywhere, You're going to start being monitored.
	Every single woman you know that has tweeted, men are trash, can probably not... They probably shouldn't pivot into being really into, like, tactical gear and guns.
	Because they're going to get a knock on their door.
	Well, but if you do, make sure that you repost the Proud Boys posts on your Facebook.
	But as long as you regularly, like, between your gun mods and whatever...
	groups you're part of, you also look up things like heritage and, you know, like white identity and, like, are black dicks really that big?
	Like, can you also look up all that stuff?
	Then you probably won't be looked into.
	Yeah, I wonder what Snopes has to say about this.
	Yeah, I just thought the red flag laws were, like, you know, like, if you're over 30 and still live with your parents or, you know, if you still text your ex-girlfriend or, you Yeah.
	If you don't have a bed frame.
	Yeah.
	You just have a chair in your living room and you think it's acceptable.
	All these are just a way to treat, a way to like put, you know, like white men into another, be able to also look into white men without needing like the Patriot Act.
	Well, yeah, and all the resistance to it is, hey, I hate being stereotyped.
	Yeah.
	All the resistance is, wait, wait, wait, I'm a white man.
	Hold on.
	I look like that guy!
	We're going to get into exactly that on this post.
	The dark reality of red flag laws.
	It's a Sunday night and your family has all gone to bed.
	You let the dogs back in and lock the deadbolt like you do every night.
	All the lights are off now.
	Except a couple of nightlights scattered throughout the house, leaving that dim glow throughout your home.
	It's bedtime, and work and school are going to come early in the morning.
	You crawl in bed, kiss your wife, and drift off to sleep, being thankful for the air conditioning that allows you to pull that heavy quilt up over your shoulder, despite the fact that it's still 85 degrees outside.
	Just painting a picture.
	A few hours have passed.
	2 a.m.
	Monday morning and your wife taps your taps your leg and says baby I heard something outside.
	As you sit up in bed you hear the dog growling in the living room and you know something isn't right.
	You grab that trusty old 870 and head into the living room.
	Your wife grabs her 9mm and heads down the hall to the kids' rooms, just like you have rehearsed.
	Good boy, you say as you enter the living room, trying to calm both the dog and your wife.
	Good boy.
	Good girl.
	It's okay.
	Yeah, this roleplay is getting real, real weird, real quick.
	It's very granular.
	Yeah, I have a feeling it's about to really gear up, so I'm at the edge of my seat right now.
	Well they left out the part where they said like, like we do every night.
	Every night she says she hears something and every night we go down and say good boy.
	Go ahead.
	I make sure to scratch both the dog and my wife on the top of their heads.
	Yeah, you have to bring the estrogen down to a simmer, you know?
	Good boy, you say as you enter the living room, trying to calm both the dog and your wife, just as splinters fly across the room and the front door flies open.
	Oh shit!
	As you shoulder your weapon and send a load of 00 buck across your living room and see the perpetrator fall in a heap.
	Before the thank God can even run across your brain, you see a second man coming in the door and you fire again.
	This time you hear the pop of your wife's 9mm as she's joined in the fight.
	It has to be those damn meth heads from down in town.
	Gotta be.
	I love that they didn't make this racist.
	Like, that was so smart.
	That's actually a nice touch.
	I really love that the meth heads apparently are also 28 Days Later zombies that can just fucking bust through a door like it's made out of fucking cardboard.
	Yeah, they're either that or they're like the Russian infantry leaping over their dead comrades to join the fight.
	Sorry, I'm just trying to make sure I got the right mental image here.
	So, the husband is armed, the wife is armed, but the dog is not armed, right?
	Yeah, we don't know.
	We don't know.
	It hasn't been expressed.
	He could be arms packing.
	You probably have one of those little punk-ass dogs, but my dog is an arm.
	When I have my dog, I am armed.
	Yeah, it's a puppy pump action is what it is.
	It's a canine.
	Nice!
	Yeah, but what happens when you get shot in the throat by a meth head and you can't give your signature attack whistle, you know?
	Just looking at me like, just tell me to do it!
	Tell me to say it!
	shoving the dog whistle down your...
	It's a really tragic moment.
	The poor dog's like, I listen to your commands.
	I don't...
	I only listen to your commands, but I need to save you.
	Just be cursed by its own training, you know?
	Yeah.
	Before the thank god can even run across your brain, you see a second man coming, do do do, it has to be those damn meth heads from down in town.
	Just then you are consumed by a wall of bullets as you see multiple muzzle flashes from just outside the door and you realize something isn't right.
	Well, just to backtrack a tiny bit, he already shot his dog, because he shot Buckshot at the person who was inside of his house.
	The dog was there, he already shot his dog, so now he's feeling what his dog was just feeling.
	Y'all, this D&D podcast is really not what I was expecting.
	Yeah, he's killed his dog, two perpetrators, and then all of a sudden guns from outside start flashing and he realizes something's not right.
	It wasn't the meth heads, it was the cartel.
	Oh no.
	You turn to yell at your wife to get down just in time to see her take a load of buckshot to the face and her brain matter splatter on the wall behind her.
	Also, that's not how close range buckshot works, but I only know that because I'm a real gun nut.
	He just really, really, really needs his wife dead in this scenario.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	God.
	My wife, you know, that weak-skulled lady.
	Paper mache head.
	Yeah, it's that meme.
	It's like white normal skull black normal skull white shattered Oh, man.
	You feel the burning as 5.56 bullets riddle your body.
	I don't know how to say any of this ammo terminology, by the way.
	One clips your spine as you're scrambling away and paralyzes your lower body.
	The last thing... I love that because I love that it's paralyzing his lower body because that still indicates that he's going to fight with his upper body.
	He's gonna drag himself across the floor.
	We've got a crawler.
	I love hearing him say out loud, like, oh, my spine!
	Oh, my lower body!
	It's paralyzed!
	Every story of someone being shot was like, it happened so fast and it was so, like, specific that I kind of didn't realize for a minute.
	But this guy was like, oh, my lower spine, it's been clipped.
	My 17th vertebrae, oh!
	He had just gotten done seeing X-Men First Class, so he was like, and then it pierced my spine, and then they said, no, Charles!
	And then tried to save me.
	Dang, too bad no one else in that joke, or that movie or else that joke would have been No, I saw it and I loved it.
	The last thing you see before you bleed out is a SWAT guy from your local PD holding your teenage daughter on the floor with a knee in her back as she screams and cries because she just watched her parents being murdered.
	Why did this happen?
	You're no criminal.
	You're a conservative and an honest family man.
	Your wife is a schoolteacher and your daughters are on honor roll.
	Why did this happen?
	So I feel like maybe this is a good place to mention that this sort of thing does happen.
	Happens pretty frequently.
	Yeah.
	Just maybe not to your demographic, maybe.
	Why does this happen?
	I'm white and live in the suburbs.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Like real ass stories where it's like, I was just chillin' and then all of a sudden someone threw a fucking flash grenade into my baby's crib and now I have no child.
	Yeah.
	That actually happened in Houston not too long ago.
	There was a no-knock raid that took place.
	Cops stormed in, didn't identify themselves, they were plainclothes, and then someone fired back.
	Then it turns out the cops actually got the wrong house.
	Is this not a story from that raid?
	I'm pretty sure they just wrote it after reading about it.
	They blamed the man and the woman for shooting at them.
	They said he had a shotgun and she had a .357 and then he took out like Four or five cops, they were all just actually shooting at each other.
	Because some of them went in the back and some of them went in the front and they just all started firing and four of them, like, died.
	It's written from the point of view that, like, if it's my house, it is the wrong house.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Yeah, if it's my house, they don't mean to be here.
	I don't think this is a reference to a specific story because there's too much cum on the screen for it not to be about this person's actual wife.
	Well, two days ago, you and your wife, so he's saying, why did this happen to me, a normal person, a normal white guy?
	Well, two days ago, you and your wife went down to welcome the new neighbors into the community.
	Your wife made them some of her quote, world famous cookies.
	I like how he does that, just fucking owning his wife with scare quotes.
	His wife whose brains are all over the fucking wall at this point, too.
	Every time he goes on a business trip, he comes back and he's like, so I asked about your cookies.
	No one fucking knew about them.
	No one knows your cookies.
	Not in Des Moines.
	Not in fucking Chicago.
	Nowhere.
	You know what's world famous is your fucking mom.
	What a pain in the ass your mom is.
	That's what's world famous.
	Your wife made them some of her quote world famous cookies and you invited them to church on Sunday.
	Later that afternoon, you got a friend request on Facebook from your new neighbor, which you gladly accepted.
	Click.
	They seemed a little odd, but in the few minutes you talked, they were pleasant enough.
	The next day, while you and your family sat in church, your new neighbor scrolled through your Facebook profile.
	I like that.
	Just not paying attention in church at all, not absorbing the word of God.
	Scrolling through Facebook, probably a millennial.
	He saw that quote Trump 2020 post and got infuriated.
	See, he's a staunch liberal and he hates your kind.
	The next thing he sees are the hunting pictures you took last fall when your daughter bagged her first book.
	Now he's seething with fury because he is wholeheartedly against the, quote, slaughter of innocent animals.
	I'm seething with fury because I don't think that women should hunt.
	They're too busy trying to make more world-famous cookies, Brenda.
	God damn it!
	You should be worrying about making some world-famous jerky and not worried about taking this kill home, babe.
	You know who's famous?
	Amos.
	Men who let their wives dirty their hands with blood and have to tear down these animal carcasses, those are the real cucks.
	Yeah, actually, real quick, for people that don't know, a lot of men who go hunting, they bring the carcasses home when their wives have to clean it.
	That's my culture, I don't want you to fag on my culture, okay?
	I also grew up hunting, and I remember being like, we should probably do this out here, and they would do a little bit of cleaning out there, but the real dirty work happened at home with the wives.
	Yeah, yeah, you don't skin it, you just like bleed it out a little bit, like run a water hose from the top to the bottom, like eh, we're done, that's good enough.
	Shaddai Arena, that still was the shit.
	Hell yeah.
	Next he sees your post from the last range day with your buddy and sees those scary black assault weapons on the table and that does it.
	He has to do something about the racist domestic terrorist living next door.
	Yeah!
	He picks up the phone, calls the local sheriff's office and reports you as a threat under the new red flag law.
	The SO follows their SOPs and conducts a no-knock warrant because you have now been denied due process and you are considered guilty until proven innocent.
	Now you, your lovely wife, and two deputies have been killed for nothing.
	Your daughter will have absolute hell for the rest of her life.
	She will never be that successful person you dreamed For her to be because the mental tragedy caused from seeing her parents murdered.
	The local newspaper will report that you were killed after firing on and killing two deputies and that quote over a thousand rounds of ammo and 22 guns were confiscated from your residence.
	That's not 22 caliber guns.
	That's 22 guns total.
	Oh, those two deputies were just following orders.
	They left behind families as well and had served their community for over a decade.
	They didn't know you were a stand-up guy with a great family.
	Oh my god.
	How are Herf Cookies world famous if they don't know about you?
	Who the fuck thinks that the Cookies are world famous but the deputies don't know about them?
	No, the Cookies are not vegan.
	The officers probably are.
	Yeah, that's what it is.
	They weren't allowed time to investigate.
	They were told you would threaten your neighbor and were out in the street waving an AR-15 around.
	This is the reality of red flag gun laws.
	Innocent people will lose their lives.
	Red flag laws will be used for petty and vengeful reasons without merit.
	So, literally just describing the real life, not fantasy events, of white people calling the cops on black people who annoy them.
	All the time.
	For petty grievances, for no reason, in which the cops show up armed and ready to, if not actually, killing people of color.
	So, critical support for this wonderful critique of drug laws and also police brutality.
	And the thing with these types of red flag laws, and the one I'm most familiar with is the one that currently exists in Maryland, is that Usually it's family members who call the police station itself, and they're the ones who report it.
	So, I mean, even in his story, he probably thought it was, you know, that libcuck neighbor of his.
	But in reality, it was probably his wife who was like, Oh God, he has 22 guns and a thousand rounds of ammunition.
	And he just found out my cookies aren't world famous.
	Someone help!
	Yeah, so, I mean, just... Barbecue Becky.
	What are the other ones we've seen?
	You know, this is calling the cops because a black man was going into his own house.
	Like, this is a reality for people of color already.
	And, I don't want to give this page too much credit, because they're probably psychos, but they were acknowledging the racism behind gun control in the comments, so they might be, like, actual libertarians, which is only slightly better than, like, you know, fake libertarians.
	Well, I thought the story did a pretty good job.
	They were very clear to say that these were black guns.
	Yeah, black assault weapons.
	I don't know why that was part of it.
	Why was that part of it?
	My black guns on the counter.
	What the fuck are you talking about?
	That's a meme.
	That's an actual meme.
	The military style AR-15.
	How Dianne Feinstein and other Democratic Senators talk about military scary looking weapons or whatever.
	They've adapted that statement to mean that they're scary and black.
	That they're big, scary, and black, which is a weird way to acknowledge, like, subliminal racism all of a sudden.
	Welcome to my fucking life, bro!
	Like, calm down!
	What are you talking about?
	You get to conceal carry that shit!
	I just gotta walk around.
	I guess I could wear underwear, but that's just my choice.
	I want you to be sure and not play down the goth look.
	I know I'm wearing a white shirt, but I'm actually a goth black, so... Nice try.
	Double representation.
	Let's get into comments here.
	I also just love that, like, oh, he saw a Trump 2020 meme and thought I was a domestic terrorist.
	Which is, you know, if you've ever been on the internet, probably one of the most popular posts currently on the internet, you know?
	It's just this like ultra fantasy of the the triggered libtard who sees me saying things like, well, I believe that we shouldn't consider race when evaluating people based on their merits.
	And he's like, oh, my God, this guy is a terrorist.
	Yeah, this guy's a member of Antifa.
	Yeah.
	I went to my local church, and I tried to go in with the Bible, and they said, oh, the Bible's not allowed here anymore.
	And I said, oh, that's weird.
	And they said, are you a terrorist?
	Let's get into comments here.
	here so greg cuck not joking says this is the one guy who's like it's pronounced cooch it's pronounced It's pronounced cooch.
	It's pronounced cooch.
	Like your mom's coochie.
	It could be worse.
	He could be like, no, it's pronounced coochie.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	Greg cock says think of this dot dot dot if you were a praying man Slash woman and you talk about how you hear the voice of God Then you could be classified as someone hearing voices then your guns could be confiscated as well I'm just reminded of that Simpsons episode where, uh, I think it's a treehouse of horror where Marge is accused of being a witch and she starts praying in church and they're like, uh, who are you talking to?
	And she's like, I'm talking to God.
	And they're like, and in this, this God, is he here right now?
	You know, like that kind of thing.
	Yeah.
	I hate, uh, I hate being called crazy when I'm in church with my guns.
	No, I was just saying that I heard the voice of God so I had a cool story behind my serial killing like the Son of Sam.
	Oh, my neighbor's God told me to kill everybody.
	Yeah, I keep hearing the voice of God and what he's saying to me is subscribe to PewDiePie.
	I know, sorry, real quick tangent.
	Y'all saw, by the way, that churches are now doing gun training classes, right?
	Oh yeah.
	Yeah, that shit is like legitimately scary.
	Well, that's really nothing new though.
	It's just there's more people doing it, unfortunately.
	I mean, we saw that church Like, we did an episode a while back where churches were, people were bringing their guns to church to be blessed.
	Yeah, that's, my god.
	Yeah, that's like a specific Christian sect.
	Yeah.
	Well, no, I mean, again, like, I'm gonna be honest, like, I got more kills after I brought some holy water with me on that trip, you know?
	My ring shield has gone up!
	Yeah.
	This is our brother Rob.
	He is here.
	He's one of the new deacons.
	We're going to lay hands on him and bless him.
	And we're also going to arm him with an assault rifle that he can use as he patrols the congregation during the sermons.
	I once had a roommate.
	Everybody please come forward.
	I once had a roommate who later on in life would be arrested for manufacturing arms for...
	For making his own guns.
	This is one of the most garbage human beings I've ever met in my entire life.
	When I moved into the house, he gave me a tactical flashlight and pocket knife.
	It was like, if you're going to be in my house, you're going to be safe.
	It's funny because at the time I was like, oh this is tight, I could totally use this pocket knife, I could totally use this flashlight.
	But then when I wouldn't have it, he would yell at me about the importance of everyday carry.
	I was going to say, dude, your EDC is shit, bro.
	Yeah, you didn't move your name tag on the whiteboard over to the carry slot before you left the house?
	He would tell me that even I'm not safe from my people.
	It was real weird, but I mean, like, he pays rent on time, so... So, what did the roommate, you know, chore organization chart look like?
	Like, it was like, okay, so I clean guns every other Tuesday, you take care of them on Thursdays, okay?
	And when it says take out the trash, what do you mean by that?
	Listen, listen.
	Hold on, guys.
	I need to tell you... I didn't want to do this, but I have to tell you the worst story of my life.
	I'm so excited.
	So he lived in, like... He lived in, like, the garage.
	Right?
	And he was like... The psychic dolphin garage?
	This dude was like... You don't want to claim it.
	He was like... This is 2000... This is 2006?
	2005.
	So he's pretty early message board stuff.
	He's pretty early everyday carry.
	He's pretty early everything, right?
	Yeah.
	And he was kind of cool because he was into some kink stuff that I was like, that's tight.
	Good for you.
	Learned a lot from the guy.
	Yeah, bad dragon.
	Fuck yeah.
	But he also like, he literally worked in the sword store in the mall.
	Wow.
	Wait, this was back when malls existed.
	Okay, hang on.
	Yeah, exactly.
	And he disappeared one time.
	He disappeared for like two months.
	Oh wow.
	But we still got rent somehow.
	But the thing is, this is gonna get awful real fast.
	Um, he disappeared and we knew he was still around because we got rent somehow, but his cat had just had kittens in his room.
	No!
	And two months in there was an awful smell.
	No!
	An awful, awful smell.
	No!
	And I had, you're talking about chores, and I had to literally Scrape kittens off the carpet.
	I'm so sorry, Tony!
	I don't know how this ended, because I had to leave.
	I was like, I gotta go fuckin' somewhere.
	This is already too much.
	It's gonna get worse, I can tell.
	I had no clue where it went, but that's the last interaction with this guy.
	You're talking about chores.
	I had this guy, and the thing is, like I said, later on, literally last year, he got arrested For manufacturing his own, like, arms.
	For, in a machine shop, making his own, like, guns.
	Jesus Christ.
	And selling them.
	Selling them to, like, gnarly, gnarly people.
	And, yeah, so what I'm saying is, like, people who aren't good to animals end up being alt-right terrorists.
	That's what I'm saying.
	Yeah, that tracks.
	And shitty roommates, for that matter.
	And fucking terrible roommates.
	I'm saying.
	The worst day of my life.
	He's undercutting the entire gym industry and the entire steroids industry.
	Manufacturing arms, selling those guns to all those doctors.
	Shut the fuck up.
	That sucks so bad.
	Did everybody picture a bunch of people walking around like jacks?
	Tony told a story about dead kittens, and that still wasn't the worst thing I heard, Zach.
	Yeah, it was fucking terrible.
	It was literally the worst day of my life.
	It was awful.
	It was the worst day ever.
	And if I ever saw him in person again, I would harm him, but I never will.
	Alright, so moving on from that terrible story, we have a comment here from Trev McDiesel, who is a cop.
	Oh, I couldn't tell.
	I just assumed.
	I just assumed.
	I've had a lot of alt accounts on Facebook in my lifetime, but this is definitely the most quote-unquote undercover account I've ever seen in my life.
	Yeah, Chaz O. Engineblock, who is a cop.
	Blast hard cheese.
	I took umbrage with a lot of people in the comment section saying how these deputies, they weren't innocent, they violated their oath to the people of this country by doing a no-knock warrant or whatever, you know.
	Those were the bad cops.
	And Trev McDiesel has something to add.
	Unfortunately, I would, meaning I would follow orders to do such a no-knock raid.
	Unfortunately, I would.
	My children mean more to me than your rights.
	My kids have to eat just like you.
	If that means I have to get into a bullet battle with you, I will win because there are more officers than there are you.
	Yeah, so once again, just reiterating the point we had a few weeks ago on the Patreon episode about the cop forgetting that he bit his own sandwich.
	This just is more, I don't know, more evidence to the claim that whatever rights you think that you have only matter if the cops think you also have them?
	Yes.
	You know what I mean?
	And right here he says, my children mean more to me than your rights.
	So like, people act like they have, you know, rights against unlawful search and seizure as if I don't have Christmas presents to buy.
	Exactly.
	It's not even saying, like, I'm gonna hold the law accountable.
	It's saying, I gotta get paid, baby!
	Yeah!
	I gotta get paid!
	Blood is thicker than the ink that wrote the Constitution.
	Have you seen how much Shopkins fuckin' cost?
	Shopkins cost what?
	Shopkins, holy shit, what a callback!
	Nah man, I just got a six-year-old, that's all that is.
	You call it following orders, I call it a second mortgage.
	Adorable.
	- Oh jeez.
	- Yeah.
	- Oh, the proof. - I value my own life more than yours and my kids need a dad.
	Your kids would have a parent if you would have surrendered, but you chose a different path.
	So that's why we no-knock rated you, so that you could maybe surrender if you wanted to.
	Not only that, but if they had a real parent, your kid would have died in the firefight too, because they would have been armed.
	And know what to do.
	They would have been defending your house with you.
	The teenage daughter would have been strapped already.
	They said she was like 9, right?
	There's 22 guns in the household.
	That's 5 guns per individual in the household.
	I am including the dog, okay?
	9 years old, 9 mil.
	I don't understand the math.
	Perfect.
	7 and a half, 7.5 mil.
	I don't care if it's actually a big around.
	- Yeah, we're good, we're good.
	- It's not important. - Julius Trapp says, "Just following orders my ass, they serve a tyranny that hates white conservative males." Neither liberals nor Trump nor cops are your friend.
	So close to getting it.
	So close.
	Let's just read the bottom text of that and then boom, we got ourselves a platform.
	Yeah, totally.
	Yeah, I love that.
	No, the policing, the notoriously anti-white institution.
	Yeah.
	Anti-white, anti-conservative institution.
	Like, I don't want to talk too much shit on Julius Trapp because like, we need them.
	Like, we need them because like, they almost get it.
	It's like, yeah, cops are fucking terrible.
	Like, what are you doing?
	They're gonna be completely ineffective, because their idea of doing politics is signing an online petition to return to the gold standard.
	To not get Captain Marvel released.
	Yeah, um... Yeah, no, like, I hate it when the cops target teens for listening to Tom McDonald in front of the Starbucks.
	You know, I really thought Homelander was such a sympathetic character.
	Okay, so last comment here, and for the last comment, I have to go back and read the addendum that was on the Obscure Guns Emporium, which says about the story, This isn't my original content.
	It's shitty pasta, but you get the idea.
	Red flag laws are unconstitutional and will result in meaningless death, all because the Karens of the country want to feel a false sense of safety and feel like they are doing something good.
	So kind of like obliquely referencing the whole BBQ Betsy thing.
	The speak to the manager white people of the world who want to use cops is like their personal grievance.
	Yeah.
	Take her care.
	Exactly.
	Yeah.
	And so I have a comment directly in response to that from a person named Karen Libertarian.
	Oh no!
	With, may I add, a fucking anime profile picture.
	From the thumbnail here.
	Who says, yeah, let's blame and depersonalize all the Karens out there, angry cussing emoji.
	God.
	Oh, that's art.
	That is high art.
	Now, I mean, you know, I would have been kind of in your camp, Karen, except I saw your last name, which is probably the worst part of your name.
	Yeah.
	Out of Karen and Libertarian, I think that last part doesn't do you any favors.
	God, it just, yeah.
	It sucks real bad.
	Libertarian 13-year-old or the angriest 45-year-old?
	To be fair, that's every right-wing comment section.
	Yep, true.
	Alright, that's the episode.
	Thanks so much for listening, folks.
	And a big thank you to Psychic Dolphin Garage for joining us today.
	Had a lot of fun, guys.
	Yes, thank you for having us on.
	You guys rule.
	Thank you.
	That was a mess.
	Great.
	I'm going to have fun editing the seven tracks together.
	Yeah, you're welcome.
	You can thank fucking Bill Gates himself for that one.
	Dear Bill Gates, where do you want to send people to listen to Psychic Dolphin Garage?
	Oh, yeah.
	We're everywhere that you listen to podcasts at.
	Nice, well done.
	We've made it our mission to be on every platform.
	We're working on Gab, we're not quite there yet.
	We actually, our Instagram doesn't have that many followers, so if you guys go follow us on Instagram, that's the only thing that we're really pushing right now.
	It's a good Instagram.
	It's a good show.
	I enjoy your guys' content.
	If you want to follow us on social media, it's at MinionDeathCult everywhere.
	Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
	And we also still have the Patreon giveaway running.
	This has been just a spectacular month for us on Patreon.
	Lots of new subscribers.
	We are very grateful to that show of support, and to show our support for that support, we've been releasing, just really, in my opinion, great episodes on there.
	The last episode, the episode from last week, about the study that confirmed that Trump isn't racist, actually, because the country is good now, is one of my favorite episodes we've ever done.
	It's really like a peek behind a curtain.
	It's really a peek behind the curtain as to how the whole, like, reverse racism sort of generates in these people's minds and how when they see something that confirms the existence of racism, such as the elevated levels of racism that this study documented under the Obama era, you know, that's something that they finally want to acknowledge because it happened under Obama.
	And them coming to grips with the existence of racism and the way their sort of sets of preconceived notions bend that fact to make it palatable for themselves is very interesting.
	I had a lot of fun sort of like...
	Sussing out what was going on in these people's minds.
	So if you want to hear that and if you want to be entered into a chance to win one of the three amazing Minion Death Koozies we have.
	Yeah, they're exceptional.
	Hand crocheted by a friend of the show, Lee.
	You gotta go to patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult and subscribe at the three or five dollar level there by the end of August.
	These giveaways are something we're going to try to do on a fairly regular basis, so if you can't get in there by that deadline, there might be another opportunity for that.
	But sooner you subscribe, sooner you get access to all those past and future bonus episodes.
	And if you subscribe at the $5 level, you also get a neat pack of stickers that we'll send out to you.
	I believe that's it.
	Anything else to add, Tony?
	Um, you know, not to... I probably shouldn't be saying this on a regular episode, but word on the street is, being as that there is no more 8chan, there is a chance that one of the next Qdrops might happen on a Patreon episode.
	So, just saying, you won't even fucking know about it unless you have Patreon, so, uh, sucks to suck.
	I just want to say that I only subscribe to Patreons that have a 420 subscription option.
	I'm sorry sir, we had a 311 for quite some time, so you can do what you want.
	I will gladly give you guys $420 a month.
	Alright, thanks for listening everybody.
	Bye.
	Bye.
	Take my stitch Snitches, get snitches You've got your heart, it's all for me Huh Snitches, get snitches The throat of your cheek must get Snitches, get snitches Snitches, get snitches Snitches!
	Get snitches!
	You got nothing, son of a bitch!
	Come on!
	Oh!
	The squirrel!
	Too soft for you to deal with!
	Ain't nothing!

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