This week we cover two supremely stupid stories: Outrage over the fact that a muslim woman will appear on the cover of this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which of course means civil war, doom, and that my son won’t be able to cum. Also, a burger restaurant displays a racist, troop-humping bumper sticker, a local patron objects on social media, and the right wing come out in droves to tell her why we don't speak "Japaneses" Support the show at www.Patreon.com/miniondeathcult
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to get yourself.
Oh, they're in Bartholstein.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Muslim burkinis are responsible.
We're documenting it.
So, hey, what's up folks?
Sorry for the late release on this episode.
Tony and I have just been watching the latest episode of Game of Thrones and Avengers Endgame on a loop, simultaneously, and just got caught up in all that sweet, sweet action.
But we're here now.
We are here today to give you an amazing episode.
This is possibly one of the most Minion Death Cult episodes we've ever done.
It's kind of like a highlight reel of all our past hits, I would say.
It really is, yeah.
Racism and fast food.
Yeah.
Uh, so before we get into that, I just want to quickly thank our newest patrons here.
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Thank you so much, Kelly.
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Know that name.
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Man, I forgot about that one.
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It was, of course, all about the Sri Lankan terrorist attack on churches.
It was about the most important part of the attack, which was that Hillary Clinton referred to the victims as Easter worshippers instead of the members of the best religion in the world, Christianity.
It was also about Pete Buttigieg being gay and how that's literally causing the end of the world.
And it also featured a long, very dumb analysis of why granting voting rights to inmates is supposedly very bad.
That's one of the dumbest Topics we've ever covered on the show regarding the response I would highly recommend listening to that if you got a few bucks to throw our way a month We would appreciate it and you get some good content Absolutely, I mean with Just a couple people subscribing.
I can actually get a pint of Ben and Jerry's so we don't need them to sponsor us.
I That's the whole point of getting a sponsor is just so you can get like a bed or a Peloton.
Right?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Oh man.
That's the goal.
Um, okay.
So, uh, this episode, let's just get right into it.
Bud Canarella posts in the Trump Train Facebook group, a link, a link to a news item all about, uh, the first Muslim woman to be featured in a burkini on the cover of the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated.
He captions it.
Not sure which is worse, Halima Aden, the Muslim Somali supermodel in a bikini, which is a full body swimsuit, or, so just her, her existence.
Not sure which is worse, the fact that this woman is alive or Sports Illustrated for putting a beautiful woman, okay, on their swimsuit cover, whose despicable religion doesn't allow her to show anything other than her hands and face.
Um, and a lot of the points that I would like to make about this being controversial just sort of make themselves as we go through the episode.
Um, so we can talk about those when they come up.
But, uh, a few, anything you want to say in general about this before I continue my thoughts on this?
It's pretty great.
I like how, I mean, this guy's making this You know, terrible observation through the guides of like women embracing and like being able to show off their bodies.
Yeah.
It's kind of going for there, but like he's saying she's a, she's a beautiful woman.
We should get to see all of her.
Yeah.
And also I like the idea that it's like taking her choice away of showing it all by making the choice to not show it all.
It's just, it's so, it's so, like, twisted.
They really have to thread the needle here.
I mean, they don't really try, but, you know, to make the points that they're making takes a pretty interesting contortion.
But some of the comments we aren't going to cover, I'll just go over them briefly.
Bra burning.
Bra burning came up a lot in these comment sections.
Women, middle-aged, boomer-aged women, posting links about the 60s civil rights era, specifically through the lens of college women, college-aged women, burning their bras on campus.
And the only thing that could get a modern Republican woman to laud women for burning their bras in the 70s is a Muslim on the cover of a swimsuit edition.
Yep.
That's the only thing that would ever make them look back on that fondly.
Yep.
Because the criticism of feminists now, aside from the Me Too movement, the criticism of feminists now is that they're just sluts.
They just want women who are protesting to be able to go topless or who are protesting to Be allowed a nipple on Instagram, etc.
You know, it's all any of these right-wing accounts have to do to make fun of feminists is just post a picture of a, like, take-back-the-night march or something.
And say, oh, these women are just sluts.
When it's, you know, the exact same thing as women burning their bras on campus.
My body's not for you.
I can do what I want with it.
Yeah, it's the exact opposite.
It's like, uh, no, in fact, not, not quote sluts, uh, just want to be able to not wear a top and have you not jerk off to it, you fucking creeps.
Yeah.
Um, another comment, uh, that, uh, that I liked, uh, another commenter wanted to see the burning twin towers on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Which I love.
Like, so we don't forget it or what?
Yeah.
Uh, so like, I mean, hey, there's like a bunch of exposed rebar and stuff like that.
Why don't, you know, that would be better.
At least it's showing some skin.
I mean, it was smoking hot, but I don't know if it was like, you know, melting steel beams hot.
Some, someone was like, I will never forget this.
And yeah, posted the twin towers burning.
And I, and I replied, I said, uh, what, what is this?
Question mark.
And she said, it's Twin Towers 9-11.
And I said, what happened?
And she never responded.
So I think maybe she forgot in the time between her original comment and my reply.
So who knows?
Okay, so an article I found on Town Hall about this.
It was written by some lady.
She writes here, were this model to be wearing a nun's habit and cross on the beach and celebrating it as, quote, progressively feminist, there would be no end to the outrage and insult.
She would be called a prude and accused of sending the wrong message to women about how they should be allowed to celebrate their bodies.
Yeah, I love this, because if, like, a nun were, uh, posing on the cover of the swimsuit, uh, edition of Sports Illustrated, it would absolutely be, uh, the feminists who would be mad at that.
Yeah, totally.
They would be the ones outraged at a nun posing for a swimsuit magazine.
Yeah, that would be, again, the opposite.
It's so, so stupid.
I mean, and plus, I think everybody loves those nuns having fun feeds.
Totally.
Those candid pictures of nuns just having a good time.
And I think, you know, Edgelord atheists have kind of shifted to the right wing?
I think the modern left is generally pretty good at embracing all faiths, including Christianity.
And, you know, despite its sort of imperial genocidal past, uh, just as a, as a belief system, I think, you know, the modern left is, uh, tolerant of Christianity where it acts as a progressive force, where it acts as a, uh, As a sort of bastion of Christian values, true Christian values, it's fine.
You know, the only people commenting about a nun on the beach would be right-wing neckbeards.
Like, Christianity... Or the church itself, obviously.
Christianity is kind of like cargo shorts.
You know, it's like, it's not for me.
I think it's pretty dumb.
But you know, it has its place.
Yeah, like if you're a Christian or if you're wearing cargo shorts, you're probably someone's dad.
And it looks best in camouflage where no one can see it.
Uh, this article goes on.
I used to think my biggest problem with progressive culture of sexuality was the flagrant display of the female form and the abandonment of the idea that imagination is the most influential part of sexuality.
So, I used to think my biggest problem, uh, with progressive culture was women displaying their bodies.
Uh, now I think it's women covering their bodies up.
What?
My imagination just went into overdrive and I realized this is too much.
This is irresponsible.
I have to imagine what this woman's collarbones look like and that is just too much.
These people are insane.
These people are utterly insane.
I used to think it was women being half naked and I hated that and now I know it's women being clothed and I really fucking hate that.
So, uh, Akmal says, she is trying to be at opposite ends of the spectrum at the same time.
She wants to show off her curbs while pretending to act like a conservative Muslim.
She ended being neither.
What a waste of Sports Illustrated cover.
And like, I don't, I don't, did this person not look at the picture?
Because The cover, the bikini she's wearing is actually very like flowing and like not showing off her curves.
Like it's a very modest, but also like beautiful garment.
Like it looks really nice.
And she like looks great in it.
And I don't think she was like, I don't know where he got that.
She's trying to show off her curves.
Oh, it's because she made that part up.
She's like standing there and like somebody's photographing her, you know?
True.
Yeah, I mean my thoughts on this are like... You know, it's a fucking magazine.
They want to sell copies.
A magazine can't really be woke unless it's Teen Vogue.
But this is, I guess, good.
This is like in the good column, you know?
Normalizing the burkini is beneficial, giving young girls who are going to see this...
Some sort of, you know, reference to popular culture that shows what they might be wearing.
It's good.
It's fine.
It isn't trying to sexualize her also.
I know it sounds silly, but it's kind of giving permission to not necessarily have to wear a bikini, but permission to wear a one-piece, permission to wear something that is a little more modest, permission to not feel like the only way you can go to the beach is in a two-piece, isn't like a bikini, isn't like a thong.
There's a lot of pressure that women, I'm sure women feel, to go out in something more Risqué and sultry, but this is full on saying, hey look how good you can look when you're completely covered.
What I think where Sports Illustrated really blew it is what they should have done, like they've done in the past, is just paint the bikini on her body to give the illusion of a bikini.
Yeah, that was funny.
A lot of people were like, how is she going to swim in that?
Well, never mind that it's made for swimming, but like, how is she going to swim in that?
That's fucking stupid.
And it's like, you know, like they just like spray painted women with paint before.
Like that's not a swimsuit.
No.
Exactly.
It's not the functional swimsuit issue.
Yeah.
So this comment from Akmal, she's trying to have it both ways.
She's trying to be sexy and Muslim at the same time, which we know is impossible.
Not that that's what she's trying to do.
But yeah, she wants to show off her curves while pretending to act like a conservative Muslim.
She ended up being neither.
So this is like... a frequent comment, a frequent expression around this topic, is that...
I thought Muslims were supposed to be these, like, women-hating, regressive monsters.
And she's trying not to be one?
You can't have it both ways.
You know, it's just, you know, telling on themselves, basically.
Roger Young says, that's just nasty.
If she was in a country with real Sharia law, she'd be stoned to death.
Unlike this fake-ass Sharia Law we have over here.
Yeah, so just admitting that we don't have Sharia Law.
Also, again, ignoring that she is wearing a modest garb.
Yes, if it was real Sharia Law, she wouldn't be allowed to show her face, but she's still wearing an appropriate, her hair is wrapped, You know, her body's covered.
She's actually wearing, like, what you can wear within the guides of... I mean, I'm sure there's degrees of, you know, restriction on various implementations of Sharia law.
Like, I don't think Sharia law just means full-face burqa.
Yeah.
Necessarily.
And yeah, it's, it's this, they just want Muslims to be the monsters that they've envisioned for themselves.
Yeah.
Because their whole argument is, you know, the, the argument that they put up there, the smokescreen that they put up there is we care about women's rights.
We care about gay rights.
Which, never mind that they're constantly fantasizing about sending gay people to Saudi Arabia or sending women that they don't like to Saudi Arabia so they can get killed.
The whole pretext of this is, oh, we like women's rights.
Well, here's a woman who's like, you know, out there and doing what she wants to do.
And that's bad because it makes Muslims look more progressive than they want them to be.
Yeah.
It's funny because I mean, they feel the same way about this as I feel about cops doing kickflip videos.
Yeah.
They're like, don't whitewash this.
Don't make this better than it is.
It's different though because unlike Muslims, cops aren't allowed to lie to you.
Yeah, true.
It's illegal for a cop to lie to you whereas Muslims, they're allowed to lie to further their agenda.
So on town hall, this was one of my favorite comments of the night.
Momster said, I can take it for granted that had Sports Illustrated promoted burkinis back in the mid 90s.
I would never have found the burkini issue under my son's mattress.
I love this one.
When you like sent me the message, like, my favorite comment is the one where the mom says that their son wouldn't jack off to this.
I was like, what are you talking about?
And then I opened it.
I was like, oh, oh, yep.
There it is.
Yep.
My son would never rub his cock and balls to this trash.
I grabbed that magazine and those pages would not be stuck together.
He would probably have it just on his dresser just casually just not even not even trying to hide it Just like when you're when you're looking at a at the you know The pros and cons of any political movement you have to ask yourself would this make my son hard?
Yeah, this guy's gonna really do it for him like listen I checked my adult son's Kleenex supply after giving him this magazine and he didn't even open the box and My boy was dry.
My boy was dry after looking at this magazine.
And trust me, it works.
I know it works.
Normally.
John Van Bessalare.
I don't know.
That was good.
I think that was good.
Says... Well, nobody even buys Sports Illustrated anymore.
Their writers are idiots, but not as much as their CEOs.
They are going away fast, thank God.
Oh, whoops.
Oh, whoops.
Oh, whoops?
I do not mean to hurt anyone's feelings at Sports Illustrated by mentioning the word God.
Comma.
So here it goes.
God is great, comma, God is great, comma, God is the one and only, comma, God is the one and only, comma, and Sports Illustrated sucks, comma, and Sports Illustrated sucks, dot, dot, dot.
Now, was he like singing this to a song in his head as he was typing this?
I don't know that song.
I don't understand what the... I don't know that song.
I don't know what, like, the whole, like, double, the whole double talk thing was really bizarre.
And I just also, like, I was like...
Oh, did I accidentally say God?
Because it wasn't an accident.
Here it goes.
I love how he's like, oh, did my taking God's name in vain offend you?
Did it trigger you, Snowflakes?
I wish that's what it was.
He's a little more blasphemy.
He's just like, I'm not brainwashed like you Muslims.
By the way, God is great, God is great, God is the one and only, God is the one and only, God is good.
good okay like you know you just basically if you were if you're if you were facing the right way you're muslim now yeah exactly yeah this is That's all it is.
God is great.
God is good.
Let us thank him for our burkinis.
Actually, I should have said boobs.
I totally blew that.
I'm sorry, guys.
God is great.
God is good.
Let us thank him for our boobs.
Are you rhyming boobs with good?
No, you just say food there.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, food doesn't rhyme either.
It's something called grace.
You've probably never heard of it.
It's kind of a bad rhyme.
Raven Hughes says about the Burkini, just as insane as a custom car show keeping the dust covers on.
But what can you expect from cave dwellers from the 5th century?
Insane.
I love this comment.
This is like the most boomer analogy I can think of.
Yeah, I mean you gotta compare women to cars.
It's like packing a delicious mayonnaise and banana sandwich for lunch, and then never taking it out of the brown paper bag.
Gotta eat it.
It's like going to Fenway Park, and they just leave the tarp on the field.
How are them socks supposed to ding one over the green monster?
Their feet can't even touch the grass.
It's just so, it's so, and then like, Saying that they're the ones that are living in the past.
They're the ones who aren't current.
We're the modern ones comparing women to cars.
But they're the cave dwellers.
I mean, as a dude, I'm happy women progressed as far as being able to burn their bras on campus.
But I don't like women's rights progressing any farther than that.
I don't like it when they talk.
I don't like it when they accuse me of rape.
I just like the boobs part of women's rights.
Because when there's bras, there's boobs.
So that's cool.
Uh, Tammy Reynolds says, People better wake up, or we are gonna have a civil war!
Oh, there it is.
Minions Law.
There it is.
The most blatant Minions Law.
That's all I have to say about that one.
It's just, it's just Minions Law.
Don't even know what the fuck she's talking about.
I can't wait, I can't wait to fight the, the, Burkini Wars of 2020, the, the, DNC won't let Fox News host a Democratic primary debate wars of 2020.
They're going to be a lot of fun.
Yeah.
Can you imagine seeing somebody on a beach just like enjoying themselves in their outfit and thinking like, I'm going to have to kill my neighbors.
It's going to be brother versus brother, son versus father.
It's going to be blood in the streets.
From time to time, the tree of liberty must be draped with burkinis.
Yeah, some commenters were like, uh, this is fine.
They have every right to wear their birkini to the beach, and I have every right to laugh and make fun of them and yell at them.
Again, you know, with free speech comes recourse.
Lisa DeFrancesco, who's a big poster in this group.
We've had her before.
She says, Over the weekend, I saw a Nestle Crunch commercial with a gal in a hijab.
One for Ulta Beauty and Macy's advertising hijabs 25% off.
25% off.
We are doomed!
Wow.
Okay, I...
Like, I can't kind of further make fun of this.
Like, she's... Like, not Nestle Crunch!
Also, she must be like actively looking for it.
She's just like cataloging every commercial she sees as Islamist or not Islamist.
Yeah.
She just got like stacks of notebooks in her house and like, it's, it's just like, uh, you know, Maytag washers and dryers dash not Islamist.
Hyundai Sonata.
Very Islamist.
Very, extremely Islamist.
Let's see, this trailer for Shrek by DreamWorks Studios does have a crescent moon in the logo, but there's a boy fishing from it, which I think would be blasphemous, so it could go either way.
I'm not sure.
It's a tough one.
It's a tough call.
But it does have someone happily living in a swamp.
That's true.
So it's technically Islamist.
Because the swamp is just secret Muslims, right?
Like it's secret communists, but it's all the same.
It's secret Muslims inside the American government.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But like those in the swamp, the Venn diagram of all the different, you know, identity or ideology groups of the swamp there.
It's just a circle.
Like, yeah, it's all, it's all the same.
Um, uh, I was happy to see on the, uh, advertisement for Honey Nut Cheerios.
Uh, the bee was not wearing a hijab, uh, because as we know that the bee was not a Democrat.
The bee was not, that was a fine Republican bee.
It was a Republican bee who just enjoys a good honey nut cereal.
Nothing wrong with that.
And children.
Are there kids in those commercials?
I think there's kids in every cereal commercial.
Except for Special K. Which is, by the way, an Islamist for sure.
Okay, yeah.
I don't know, I think it's just a B in those commercials because, like, Honey Nut Cheerios is enjoyed by all age groups, I think.
You're not wrong.
Jose Lira says, and that ends S.I.
Sports Illustrated, Farewell, Titanic.
Farewell.
They'll be ready for the anti- They'll be ready for the Antichrist in no time.
What a wild ride of a short comment.
What the fuck?
I was very confused by the Titanic thing, and then the Antichrist out of nowhere?
You got no time to analyze the Titanic thing.
No.
Maybe just because they're both water related, like the Burkini and the Titanic?
I don't know.
um yeah the antichrist thing is just they'll be ready for the antichrist to know that like i'm just picturing like damien from the the omen posing on the cover of sports illustrated and like his catholic schoolboy outfit and like all the maga people are like why is he wearing so much clothing take take clothing off the child There should be no clothing on the child.
He's at the beach.
Maureen Marr Fuster says, look at that and try to convince me that they are not gaining in their quest for world domination.
What's great about this is that they should be women.
Like, this is like a, you know, a cool step for women that they get to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated, you know, magazine, not just for like letting the cheeks hang out.
You know, just for having some good style and, you know, also being beautiful.
But yeah, it's the them is definitely, you know, all the Muslims.
Yeah, it's just, I mean, you know, we're doomed.
It's the Antichrist.
We're going to have a civil war.
And yeah, they're gaining in their quest for world domination.
Like, look at this woman wearing some clothes and tell me society isn't fucked up beyond all recognition.
Well it wasn't just that, it's that I went through the entire issue and I did not find one advertisement for Wendy's Baconator.
Did you come?
No, because I did not find one advertisement for Wendy's Baconator.
That's like the ultimate taboo for you, huh?
Not because you're Muslim, but because you're a vegan.
Okay, that's it for that.
Insanely dumb comment section.
I will say that they really do need to, like, rebrand the word bikini.
I just... I don't know.
Just call it a swimsuit.
Like, you know, you don't have to, like, call it the one thing that's the smallest version of a swimsuit.
Like, you don't have to play off that.
Yeah, I don't know.
I can't think of another pun.
I guess Berk suit doesn't sound very good.
Or like, Berk piece.
Swim mom suit?
I don't know.
I got nothing.
We'll brainstorm.
We'll get the team together over this one.
Don't you worry, Muslim beach goers.
We're going to take care of you.
Alright, so next topic of the night.
A young woman went to a burger restaurant in Danville, Illinois and noticed a bumper sticker on the window of like the order, you know, the takeout window that said, you know, it says USMC, U.S.
Marine Corps.
If you can't read this, and there's an arrow pointing to what I'm assuming is Arabic writing, thank a marine.
And then she said, the name of this hamburger restaurant is Gross Burgers.
It's not a joke or anything.
It's just called Gross's Burgers.
And she said, fuck Gross Burgers, absolutely disgusting.
She tagged them in this.
She said she was there.
So this post went viral.
It had 3.5 thousand comments on it.
All of them filled...
with just the the dumbest dumbest absolutely dumbest dog brain comments imaginable well a couple things just to clarify um so that was not on the cover of a takeout of the takeout window it was on a glass case of this like marine shrine they have Seriously, it's like a marine-like shrine.
That glass case is holding several types of large shells.
Large ammunition shells.
The ones that are as big as your forearm and bigger.
And then a flag.
It's a tribute to the Marines.
That's what that section of the restaurant was.
She could have just taken a picture of the whole thing and said that, but I'm happy she's only on the one thing.
They should have some Marines in that case, right?
We don't salute the ammunition.
Oh no, people went and saluted the ammunition.
They for sure went there and saluted the ammunition.
So, uh, this, this bumper sticker, if you can't read this Arabic writing, thank a Marine.
Um, this of course, like hearkens back to, I think like World War II slogans of like, if you're reading this in English, thank a troop or whatever.
Yeah.
Right.
Um, which first of all, I'm not so sure indigenous people are happy to be reading things in English right now.
Not so sure they enjoyed that part.
Second of all, it implies that the worst effect of being invaded or colonized by a foreign power is having to learn a second language.
Exactly.
You know if we didn't fight in World War II, we would have two stop signs.
You know that, right?
Yeah.
One in German.
No, probably three.
One in Japanese, one in German.
Then one in English, but way in the back.
The bottom line of this, I mean it's, you know, it's like absurd.
The idea that Iraq or Afghanistan was ever going to invade the U.S.
is of course, you know, utterly laughable and a pathetic thing to hinge your overseas military campaigns on.
But, you know, the bottom line is that the military, both as like an institution and as its most, you know, ardent supporters or members, are just desperate to justify their own existence.
They're just desperate to Justify, validate, uh, you know, retroactively, uh, make good the 20, 30 years of military intervention, you know, military adventurism overseas.
Well, if we didn't go after Saddam and, uh, Afghanistan and, uh, you know, all those countries over there, you, you would be invaded right now.
Yeah.
We would all be wearing bikinis.
And it's kind of funny because the rallying cry around the Iraq War was...
We need to spread democracy to these people.
We need to help these people.
The original justification was, Saddam has WMDs, Saddam did 9-11, or whatever was the bullshit excuse.
We need to go liberate these people.
Now that we've been there for 10-20 years and it's obvious to almost everybody that, you know, that military venture was, you know, based on a lie.
You have no real reason for being over there.
And the constant, you know, losses in our military campaigns.
Just the never-ending State of war that we're in is just kind of like, I think, demoralized this country.
Absolutely.
To the point where even the people who support the military and support, you know, our efforts over there can't do so from a point of strength anymore?
Yeah, no way.
They've been demoralized.
Their brains have been broken to the point where now the justification is Muslims will invade this country if we're not over there constantly.
And we see that explanation on the show every week.
So, it's just interesting the trajectory of the right-wing psyche going from, uh, we're the best, we're the greatest, we have a duty, we have a manifest destiny to control all these territories, to now we're this, like,
Even more reactionary, even more cornered ideology, just lashing out, you know, out of a perceived victimhood.
So yeah, now that, you know, the idea of spreading democracy, the idea of liberating Iraq has totally been exposed as a fraud.
We're just basing this on some sort of imminent invasion of this country.
It's to defend our freedom.
Yeah, thank a Marine.
Thank a Marine, because if not, you'd be dead, or in a burkini, or knowing how to read Arabic.
I don't know how legitimate it was, but one of my favorite things I saw on this was people saying, well it actually says God is good.
Or God is love, or something like that.
That's actually what it says.
Don't you feel stupid now?
Yeah, I've never thought that that argument was particularly persuasive.
You know, trying to- I just thought it was so funny.
Trying to explain to these Christians that they worship the same God as Allah.
The same God as, you know, the Islamic faith.
They're never gonna buy that.
They're never gonna react positively to that.
Allah is literally the devil in their eyes.
He does exist in the Christian religion, but he's the devil.
God is like the Jordan shoes with him doing the iconic dunk.
And then Allah is like the Shaq shoes with him doing his iconic dunk.
Which, did I just become Muslim?
Oh, you prefer that.
I think I identify with Shaq more.
Being that he's a big oaf.
Um, this is, this first response here, comes from Darren Peplow.
So, remember, the bumper sticker says, if you can't read this, thank a marine.
Thank a marine for not knowing a second language.
You fucking dumbass.
Darren Peplow says, I can't read it.
Thank you, marines.
Just, so sincere.
This was a sincere comment.
I looked at their profile.
I looked at Darren's profile.
He's just a normal guy who likes dirt bikes and the military.
And yeah, this is like the only correct response, whether you agree with it or whether you're trying to make fun of it.
I respect this.
I can't read it.
Thank you, Marines.
If you believe this message, then yeah, you thank the Marines for not being able to read it.
It's so pure.
It is very pure.
It's the only correct response.
Tara Swayze says, I think I will go to Gross Burgers for lunch and enjoy my meal.
This is a great place to eat with great food.
I might even salute the sign, Go America and Go Trump.
So yeah, nothing says I'm not brainwashed like saluting a fucking bumper sticker.
Yeah.
Nothing says my mind is a old piece of clay that still has enough flexibility in it to make me worship an inanimate object, if necessary.
But I'll also have to go to the place where this sticker is.
That would be just as satisfying to look at the picture of the sticker.
But they probably did salute their screens too.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think if you're viewing a JPEG of the bumper sticker, that counts as like a graven image.
Oh, yeah.
So you have to actually go to this sticker to worship it.
It's like, you know, you don't just... You have to go to Pearl Harbor to really feel it.
The movie doesn't do it justice.
Yeah, you can't salute the movie.
Yeah, you have to see Josh Hartnick in person.
What if you're watching it on like 35mm?
Is Josh Hartnett in the room?
Are you saying Josh Hartnett?
That's who's in that movie, right?
Kind of.
Oh, his name's Josh Hartnett.
Oh, oh, oh, my bad.
But I think it's Ben Affleck.
I don't think Josh Hartnett is in that movie.
I think they're both in it.
I just think that I chose my favorite one.
I don't remember Josh Hartnett.
Is he in Yellow Face?
No, I don't believe so.
I don't believe so.
All right.
Yeah, no, I love this.
Like, this is absolutely insane.
Saluting a bumper sticker.
Like, it's like, I found a potato chip that looked like George Washington, so I had it encased in Lucite.
Levels of insane.
Like, uh, I taped off my driveway because my stepson's friend's car left an oil stain on it and then died in Iraq.
And I want to preserve his memory.
I feel like those things happened.
Utterly insane.
Just for the record, Josh Hartnick is totally in it.
Just... And Yellowface.
That's confirmed.
That's just lighting.
That's just bad lighting.
Steve says, That sign is not a racist statement.
It's a way of showing our thanks for the men and women who fight for our freedom.
We made the same kind of remarks about not having to speak German or Japanese because brave men and women fought in World War II.
So Steve is such a patriot.
He doesn't even know how to speak any languages.
Yeah, just none.
Like I said, I didn't say this this episode, but like we say on this show, I wouldn't normally make fun of bad writing or spelling or speaking in general, but it's just so funny.
It's just like, I don't know, self-evident how mixed up these people are.
It's warranted when part of the joke is like making fun of a lack of knowledge.
He literally wrote Freedom, D-U-M.
Like, I can't not make fun of that.
Yeah, if it was just Japanese, I would have felt racist, but the Freedom, it's just plain stupidity.
Robin Oliphant says... He's addressing the original poster, Sam.
Buttercup.
His dad taught him all he knows about that business.
I suggest you hold your tongue.
Before you insert your foot in mouth and say something stupid, you do your homework.
Oh wait.
Wait.
You people don't care about that.
All that ink has gone to the brain.
Which, this took me a second, but I realize he's talking about, like, sick ink.
Like, that's the kind of... Second line people with tattoos that are stupid because of that?
He's talking about, yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
He's talking about that nice ink you have.
Does the poster have, the original poster have tattoos?
Yeah, she does, now that I remember it, yeah.
That makes sense.
She should respect her body.
Her body's a temple.
Tattoos are not cool.
I'm just mad that she covered up that sweet body with tattoos.
How can I see the true curves if there's tattoos on it?
Okay.
All that ink has gone to the brain.
Oh, wait.
You don't... Wait.
Oh, wait.
You have to have a brain in order to loose it.
Another buttercup.
Who's as looney tunes as they come?
Don't think because you attend said university anyone cares.
Because they've lowered their standards.
I don't think, Robin hasn't gone looking for a job any time recently.
Because he hasn't seen all the people in the unemployment line with tattoos?
No, because I haven't seen how much people want people with college degrees.
I just, it's, yeah.
You don't do your homework because you have tattoos.
Also, I hate universities.
Also, his dad taught him all he knows about this business.
Are they local there?
I don't think they are.
He's just looking at that sticker and knowing that it's a family-run business.
Yeah, exactly.
So, not only did this post, like, bring out everyone's uncle, uh, from across the- across the U.S., um, it also brought out 4chan, or 8chan, I don't know which fucking chan this is, um, it brought out a bunch of, like, you know, Nazi guys, um, who... I- I'd love to- to...
Get inside the mind of one of these 4chan guys when they see this post because the post is a young woman.
Talking shit to, like, a boomer operation.
And the alt-right, they're not very fond of boomers.
They're not fond of military intervention.
They tend to be isolationists, unless they're just utter, you know, nihilistic black-pilled psychopaths who want, like, the world to drown in nuclear hellfire.
So I would just like to know, you know, if there was any sort of internal struggle for who to dunk on.
Because, I mean, as we've seen, there's plenty of fodder, plenty of moronic middle-aged and 60-year-old boomers leaving just wonderful comments here.
But of course, like, they chose to, like, make fun of the young woman.
And the way they did this was just by posting the clown Pepe.
Which I did not understand until I saw it.
It's exactly what it sounds like.
It's the new Pepe.
It's the new clown world meme.
I first saw it when that new trailer for The Joker dropped.
I saw Pepe's in, you know, the clown wig and the nose and like a bow tie in comment sections for that movie, you know, saying, uh, we live in a clown society or whatever.
I was like, okay, like they're making fun of the, we live in a society thing.
They're making fun of this movie for how society is.
It's a very society movie.
Um, and then no, it just turns out like, it's just the new white nationalist meme.
And they just happened to also be in that comment section.
And, uh, it's just based on the idea that, like, uh, everything's a joke, and, like, gay rights is a joke, women are a joke, uh, and it's just, I, it's meant to be, like, innocuous, you know?
Just, like, the okay sign, uh, just like the, I don't know if people know about it, but the fash dove, uh, the purple pi- the purple pigeon that, like, bobs its head in the gif in Facebook, like, that was one of their things that they post a lot.
It's like an inside joke that just doesn't have really any origin or any larger meaning other than we are white nationalists and this is what we post.
This is going to be such a weird thing to look back on in history books.
It's going to be so strange.
It's going to be strange and very boring.
You know we look at like early American, well not early American history, recent American history where like The Klan would speak in code and they would have signs that you would know that you were in a Klan friendly restaurant or it was owned by a Klan member.
Or you go to neighborhoods and there's certain graffiti that would tell you this is a skinhead, this is a Nazi area.
But, you know, in this internet, white supremacy, it's... there is a crudely drawn cartoon of a clown that's actually a frog as a clown.
And that's where the... those are the hateful people.
Those are the awful people.
But I mean, that's like deliberately part of it, right?
Like, it's meant to be this innocuous thing.
It's meant to be, oh look at all the lefties getting triggered by a clown.
God, they're just such snowflakes or whatever.
But it's like, we're laughing at you.
Yeah, we're the ones who are laughing.
We're not mad.
We're not mad, actually.
We're laughing.
But no, these memes are god-awful.
So, like, the only one I have here is... It's that scene from... What's that pirate movie with Tom Hanks?
Captain Rogers or something like that?
Captain Ron?
Captain Phelps?
Yeah, it's Captain Ron.
It's the scene where...
What's his name?
It's a scene where What's-His-Name says, look at me, I'm the captain now.
Except the guy is a clown Pepe.
And he says, "Look at me, I'm the clown now." - And Tom Hanks is labeled.
Yeah, he's labeled as LGBTQIA+.
UIA plus.
So, yeah.
This is good and funny.
Um...
You know, other memes are like, they do honk honk, they say honk.
And that's also part of the meme.
So if you see just somebody saying honk honk in a meme, or in a comment section, that's what they're doing.
They're racist.
The other memes are like, do not ask for whom the honker honks, it honks for thee.
That's a meme that they did.
Anyway, moving on.
Another... I hate that it's like... I hate that like, it is funny.
It is like so stupid.
It is so stupid.
And like...
I just hate it.
I hate it so much.
If you want to see an example of this and you're not in the Minion Death Commandos Facebook group, add yourself.
Fill out, you know, answer the questions, add yourself.
And look at the post that Facebook did of putting like the rainbow filter over the Facebook logo.
I shared it into the group because it's just full of this.
It's full of people honking for white nationalism.
Um... Brett Locke posts a meme.
Top text, impact font.
So this guy's not very evolved on his meme game.
Top text.
The age of moral outrage is over.
Bottom text.
The time of shitlords has come.
And the meme is a picture of an orc from Lord of the Rings.
You know, the powerful orcs.
Yes.
The almighty orcs.
So this meme got one like.
It's a pretty stale meme.
The word shitlord in general, I haven't really seen that in about two years, I think.
Yeah.
At least not embraced in a while.
I haven't even seen it used as a derogatory term in that long.
And then Alex Martinez replies, Brett Locke, you know the orcs lost, right?
And Brett Locke replies to Alex Martinez, everything has its time.
And like, you know, he felt good about that and felt like, you just wait.
Just like clothing, memes will be cyclical.
Have you seen the middle of that movie though?
The middle of the movie, the orcs were doing good.
That's true, yep, yep, yep.
We're in the middle of the movie now.
Rachelle Sprague says, uh, our numbers and math are from Arabic-speaking people.
Every time you write numbers, thank Middle Eastern people.
And like, people were laughing at this?
And Sarah Wright replies, uh, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
May I ask where you heard this from?
As if any answer that Rochelle could give would satisfy Sarah.
Somebody literally just posted a screenshot of the Wikipedia article for numerals.
And they were like, oh, you use Wikipedia?
Oh, you trust that?
Okay.
Let me just put it in impact font over a photo of Clint Eastwood.
Let me just do that real quick for you.
Then it'll be real.
That sounds like a bad argument.
When was the last time as an adult that you wrote down a number and were happy you were doing that?
If you can't read Wikipedia, thank a boomer.
I just love that.
Where did you hear that piece of fake news?
Oh, my libtarded university teacher taught me that.
So you know it's not real.
My genderqueer yoga instructor is the one who pointed that out to me.
Why?
Why do you ask?
And then finally, Michael Todd Wyman.
Says... He's replying to somebody who, like, said, shut the fuck up, boomer.
Like, posted that meme of the boomer having a heart attack.
And it says, shut the fuck up, boomer.
I like that one.
Michael Todd Wyman says, I'm a boomer, alright.
I'll boom your millennial ass and you will love it, buttercup!
Damn.
Real daddy hours for Michael.
Real.
Like, what is this?
Yep.
Like, there's only two things he means by boom your ass.
He either means shoot you or rape you, right?
Yeah.
He says you will love it, so I think that means rape.
I think so.
It's counterintuitive, but I think he means rape.
You'll love the rape.
He was also listening to that Zebrahead song.
Wow!
Another time somebody doesn't go for the P.O.D.
song.
Here comes the boom!
First... Oh, that's because it's... Yeah, I don't know why that's the one that came to my head first.
You're totally right.
I love that about you.
I'm a bad Christian.
I love that about you.
Well, it's because it's Zebrahead.
Yeah.
Zebrahead's so fucking good.
You got a stake in that fight.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, when Pete Buttigieg said what his campaign theme song would be, would be What It's Like by Everlast, I'm really disappointed he didn't say Youth of the Nation by P.O.D.
Wait, no, hold on.
Did he really do that?
Yeah, he really did that.
Somebody asked him, like, what song would best encompass your candidacy?
And he said, What It's Like, because I'm a white guy telling everybody how to feel about other people.
I'm a white guy talking about other people's experiences.
I'm surprised he didn't go, live in La Vida Loca, cause I'm also gay.
Okay.
Yeah.
I, well, I think Beto already claimed live in La Vida Loca.
Oh, for the Spanish in there.
Yeah.
God, can you imagine at the drive-in covering live in La Vida Loca?
Live in La Beto Loca?
I mean, yeah, if I knew Spanish, I could make a pun about a Mars Volta song that does have La Vida in the title.
Okay, and it's important to note that Michael Todd Wyman, his profile picture is the classic boomer profile picture where it looks like his camera has opened up unexpectedly on his laptop, so you're only seeing, like, You know, from his bottom lip to the top of his head and there's also like three inches of empty space above the top of his head.
We have no clue how long his goatee really is.
He's also wearing contact lenses, colored contact lenses that make his eyes completely black.
Wait, you're telling me this isn't Wes Borland all grown up?
Those are Wes Borland eye contacts.
You ever seen Michael Todd Wyman's eyes?
Totally black.
Like a doll's eyes.
Totally black?
Yeah, what?
That's so weird.
This is a cursed image.
It's like, I can't stop staring at it.
Wait, if you zoom into his pupils, you can see what kind of phone he's using.
Eh, it's a smartphone of sorts.
Oh, it's so fucked.
Yeah, it's so disturbing.
I can't stop staring at it.
Michael the black-eyed boomer gonna boom your millennial ass and you will love it, buttercup.
I like how we got two buttercups in this episode.
That's like the new slur.
No, they love that.
And, you know, Robin had two buttercups, so we technically got three.
No, it's like Snowflake.
It's like Cupcake.
They like Cupcake, too.
Sweet Cheeks is another one.
You know, any sort of, like, diminutive, faux effeminate, you know, terminology or nickname.
They love that shit.
I remember that.
Okay, that's it for the episode.
Just a weird one.
So, so like... It's just a hard one because it's all so blatant and ridiculous that it's hard to make fun of because it's already there.
Sometimes we're just the messenger.
Yeah.
Sometimes we're just the vessel through which this information flows.
We are the mouthpiece.
For the truth that the broomers bring.
Yeah, okay.
Thanks for listening, folks.
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