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Feb. 25, 2019 - Minion Death Cult

01:08:43

92 - John Wayne Was A Nazi

This week we cover various hilarious reactions to Bernie's candidacy, and respond to the response to the response to the response of a 1971 John Wayne interview where he compared black people to paralyzed infants. Enjoy! Support the show at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get access to like 50 hours of bonus episodes.

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	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today.
	So stay tuned.
	We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned, guys.
	We'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to destroy the desert.
	Oh, they're remarkable.
	Stay tuned.
	Okay.
	I like how just...
	I was like, yeah, of course I am.
	What are you talking about?
	Seamlessly not missing a BDM recording. - I'm sorry.
	I'm happy I decided to still look at it and doubt myself.
	I appreciate your self-doubt.
	I'm Alexander Edward.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Cult.
	The world is ending.
	A 50 year old, totally irrelevant interview with John Wayne is responsible.
	Also, also Bernie Sanders, uh, responsible for many things.
	Uh, but most recently daring, daring to infect us with his visage once again, and we're documenting it.
	The audacity.
	Up top, I just want to thank Lance from Seattle for leaving a five-star review on iTunes.
	He says, love it!
	With an exclamation point.
	That's a different podcast.
	I think you're referring to like the spinoff podcast of Pod Save America.
	But that's okay.
	We'll take the review anyway.
	Also, I want to thank Patreon subscribers.
	Thanks to Dana, who's Avatar on Patreon is Squidward dabbing, so thank you for that.
	Thanks to Joseph.
	Thanks to Rawl Pud with 2Ds.
	Possibly the singer of Chamber of Pud?
	I don't know.
	Did you do work on Birdemic, Raul?
	Let me know.
	Thanks to Antipatterns, and thank you to Gabe.
	Also thanks to somebody named Street Fight Radio for supporting us on Patreon.
	Really appreciate that.
	And thank you to Jennifer.
	Thanks to everybody who supports the show.
	We are completely ad-free.
	We are funded by small monthly donations of $27.
	You can donate to us through ActBlue or patreon.com.
	For three bucks, you get access to all of our old bonus episodes.
	There's like 40 of them in there.
	You're also supporting the show and we really appreciate it.
	There's some straight fire in the archives.
	If you can't support us via Patreon, or just don't want to, if you don't want to leave a review, tell a friend instead.
	We appreciate that as well.
	Tell a friend to join Patreon.
	Don't even tell them to listen to it.
	Just tell them we're like some sick-ass nonprofit.
	Yeah, cut out the fat.
	Trim the fat.
	Yeah, so tonight, obviously, one thing everybody's thinking about, the Oscars.
	And, you know, we were gonna watch the Oscars.
	We love Hollywood.
	We love stars.
	We love celebrities.
	But then I read some really sort of unsettling information on Facebook.
	This is a comment here from Suzy Downs who says, We all know Follywood pay politicians and they get to live in the U.S.
	and get mega kickbacks.
	How many have overstayed their visas?
	And Visa's capitalized, like, uh, it's the MasterCard, which I think is cool.
	Then we have the FBI, who God knows who they work for.
	It is not Americans!
	The cesspool is huge!
	Maybe we needed to investigate, eh, they want Trump out so bad.
	Maybe he is already doing it.
	So yeah, I think from reading that it's pretty clear why we chose to boycott the Oscars tonight.
	We did not watch the Oscars because we support democracy and freedom and do not want to give credence to the underbelly that is Hollywood and the FBI.
	Yeah, and you know, we support democracy, but not direct democracy.
	We support a constitutional republic, not the socialist direct democracy that the Academy engages in every year.
	I think that's pretty wrong, you know, one vote, one person equaling one vote.
	We don't have to say why, Venezuela.
	But let's get to the show that we did decide to do.
	So, uh, Bernie.
	Bernie's running.
	Bernie Sanders, running again.
	Yes, sir.
	And my first thought is, can't believe some of y'all want to relive 2016.
	I mean, some of us.
	Some of us are ready to.
	I'm ready to do it, because I'm a real sicko who likes pain.
	Um, I just- that's a real take that I've seen a few times.
	Oh, Bur- like, not even mentioning Bernie's name.
	Just on the same day as his announcement.
	Wow.
	Can't believe you guys want to do 2016 all over again.
	And that comment should be going to the people who decided not to vote, who are still deciding not to vote for Bernie Sanders, right?
	That's what that comment's for.
	That's what it should be for.
	It should be for the people who are like, well, I don't know, I'm gonna go ahead and pencil in somebody else and not vote for him again.
	Like that's who that comment should be for but it's not.
	It's for the people who are supporting him.
	I think it's just a testament really to like Bernie's influence, his strength, his power that he was able to lose an election that he wasn't even participating in.
	Yeah.
	That's one reason to vote for him.
	I just want to go through like Plus that's like such a coward.
	That's such a coward response.
	Like not even wanting to talk about whether or not you like Bernie.
	Like you're too afraid to say whether or not you like him.
	You're just like, can't believe we're doing this again.
	Like doing what?
	Why don't you elaborate on what we're doing again?
	Why don't you share with the class why you're dumb?
	Well, to acknowledge what you don't like about Bernie is to expose the actual conservative and capitalist that you are.
	Yeah, and I mean, there are things not to like about Bernie, but those criticisms, for me at least, come from the left.
	And, you know, we'll get into that.
	Another common response I saw was, you know, Oh sure, his policies are good, but I just can't stand him.
	Yeah.
	And like, what is it about him they think they can't stand?
	God, it's just the way he, um, it's the way he talks with his hands, and it's the way he's, uh... It's the way he looks like Larry David, the way he sounds like Larry David, you know what I mean?
	Like, um... It's, it's... You're saying the problem might not be with Bernie.
	It might be with, um, where he comes from.
	Possibly.
	Well, I just don't know if I could vote for somebody who's gonna take Saturdays off.
	Yeah, he's got, like, he's got, like, a pulley system rigged to vote for him.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's just, like, the exact opposite of that shitty nothing argument.
	That dates, you know, back a long time, but I remember it specifically from the Bush era, you know.
	Well, Bush just seems like someone I could have a beer with.
	Yeah.
	Bush just seems like a regular guy you could enjoy a barbecue with.
	And I feel like, you know, most people who actively care about politics, they're the ones saying that anyway.
	They're the ones, the people who follow politics are the only people who actually say, like, He's the guy you want to have a beer with.
	Like, that's them trying to tap into, like, the ignorant American voter's mindset.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	That's been the bar for a long time.
	That's the way you assess likability, right?
	Yeah, it's an expression of likability.
	But it's a specific type of likability, you know, it's like friendliness or cordiality or whatever.
	Congeniality.
	And I feel like we kind of, as a society, maybe, I say this, I've said this before and it's not right, but I feel like we've acknowledged this sort of like, have a beer with candidate is like a very stupid metric by which to, you know, judge your politicians and all that.
	It's insanely dumb.
	So I don't know why we're doing the opposite of that with this.
	Like, oh, I like all of his policies, and sure, every other candidate is just piggybacking off his successful shifting of the Overton window in this country, but I don't like him.
	Yeah, it's just he just bothers me.
	And they can't give you a characteristic they're talking about.
	Yeah, it's like...
	The characteristic they give is like, oh, his fans... Bernie Stans, you know, they're too busy owning women online or whatever.
	But it's also, I think they're just like...
	They have Bernie and Hillary's defeat and Trump's win tangled up in their minds, you know?
	Yeah, it's all one thing and a lot, you know, it's easy to blame it on the one person you weren't invested in really, you know?
	It's easy to not put it on her.
	It's easy to not give Trump the credit.
	It's easy to say that it was this third party who took the votes away and that it's only his fault.
	And there's, I mean, there's, you know, I would argue Hillary is the most responsible person for losing that election, you know, being the candidate and entering the race from an extremely flawed standpoint to begin with.
	But there are like outside factors you could, like you could blame the FBI for releasing that Non-release about her emails right before the election.
	Like, I do think that that had a big impact on the election.
	But it just reinforced, like, the negative opinions people already had about her.
	I think even the FBI acknowledged that.
	I think even they said, like, yeah, that had a huge sway.
	Another sort of general comment you get is, uh, no more old white men.
	No more old white dudes.
	I'm never voting for another white man.
	I don't care if the other person is a corporate shill who wants to, like, give insurance companies even more money so that they won't, like, murder more people.
	I'm still not voting for the white man and I get that representation is important like representation is absolutely important but there have to be politics attached to it you know that's it's it's not enough I mean yeah I'm one of the first in line to disqualify somebody just for being an old white man like I'm all for that, but that doesn't work.
	You have to have a reason.
	He's not just an old white man, he is an old white Jewish man and that plays a huge card in America.
	We haven't seen one yet in the office.
	Yeah, and it's like, yeah, you're not wrong that old white men are overwhelmingly bad, but this happens to be one of the better ones.
	Yeah.
	And just another comment that I've seen real quick is, uh, Bernie, he's just too divisive.
	He's just too much of a polarizing figure, which strikes me of a very similar comment I saw about Obama everywhere, which was, Obama, he just stoked racial tensions.
	He is responsible for racism.
	By being black, Obama made me racist.
	We all know that was the biggest mistake he made, was being black the whole time.
	Really wish he could have taken a mulligan on that, you know, go back and do it over.
	Can I do this again but not black?
	Can I give this a shot?
	They'll also be the first ones to tell you that he's only half black.
	Yep.
	He's only half black.
	But yeah, it's Obama Made Me Racist is the MAGA version of Bernie Made Me Divisive.
	Yep.
	And there are divisions in the party, you know, the party, like I'm part of it, but there are divisions in, you know, among the broad left, which I'm, for purposes of this rhetorical argument, I'm, I'm including the Democrats in that.
	But, um, yeah, there's divisions there and let's highlight them.
	Let's focus on them.
	Those are good.
	It's almost like we have to say like, um, the non-Republicans.
	You know, because I don't even want to say, like, the left.
	I mean, people who are running as Democrats are saying in their platforms things like, Yeah, I don't know about this whole healthcare thing.
	I don't know about it being free.
	That sounds kind of wild.
	I don't know about school being free.
	Maybe not four-year school.
	Like, that's... nah.
	Not even, I don't know, but, like, laughing at the idea of it.
	Yeah.
	Like, comparing it to a fucking unicorn giving you a birthday cake.
	Yeah, those are Democratic stances the Democrats are running right now.
	So yeah, there's huge divisions.
	Come on now.
	Okay, let's get into more specific responses to Bernie's candidacy.
	This is a meme that I saw posted in the Street Fighters Facebook group, which if you listen to Street Fight and you're not in that Facebook group, get in there because that shit is fire.
	Black and yellow to get in.
	Yeah, this was like a meme, somebody shared one of their friend's meme dumps, and it was like, you know, a liberal meme dump, and it contained this small thumbnail of a Bernie cartoon.
	And I was like, what the fuck is this?
	And then, I can't remember who it was, but they sent me the larger version of it.
	So it's obviously a pro-Bernie cartoon, like it started off that way, like a political cartoon.
	Like so many awful things do, they start off with the right idea.
	And so it has Bernie Sanders as, I'm assuming Jesus, you know, wearing a robe.
	Definitely Jesus.
	Wearing like a robe and like a red, you know, sash over the shoulder, whatever that's called.
	And he's like whipping money changers in a temple.
	He's like pounding on the table that's got cash on it.
	And, you know, this is ostensibly like, you know, Bernie's getting money out of Congress or getting money out of our holy temple, which is, you know, Washington, D.C.
	in this country.
	Yeah, the parallels I'm drawing are just wild.
	But then some clever liberal has added a thought bubble to the top of Bernie's massive head in this cartoon that says, Nobody wins if I don't.
	And the money changers have a label typed on top of them that says DNC.
	So what's going on in this meme is like, you know, we're familiar with like the Bible and stuff, right?
	Everybody's kind of heard about it.
	I've heard of it.
	Jesus tends to be like the good guy in that story.
	Like he's like the protagonist of that work.
	It's like the one time he got pissed, right?
	That's the whole thing.
	It's like the one time he got heated.
	He's whipping fools.
	That's great.
	It's like what parents use to justify yelling at their kids.
	And somebody saw this meme and was like, I mean, equating Bernie Sanders to Jesus in general is pretty hilarious.
	It's fucking rude.
	It's just, yeah, you know, like those, those, that's the guy that Jews killed.
	Like it's, it's rude to Jesus.
	I'm just kidding.
	Um, but, uh, to, to see this meme and then think, yes, Bernie is like Jesus and we're the money changers.
	And like, I think that that's a good take to do is pretty astounding to me.
	I kind of like it, man.
	I kind of like it.
	Like you said, it strongly parallels this, you know, the DNC is this holy place.
	It's where we're supposed to be doing good, but we're doing bad with this money and Bernie's cleaning it up.
	Like, like Jesus is so greedy and money grubbing, like kind of a shyster for not letting those, those money changers have their money, you know?
	That's why Jesus was mad.
	He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	What are you guys talking about over there?
	You're not talking about me, alright?
	If you're not talking about me, you're not talking.
	Either you're talking about me or you're shutting the fuck up.
	And then he flips some tables.
	Uh, another response to, like, the Atlantic article that came out, uh, about how Bernie, you know, might be the frontrunner for raising six times the amount of money purely from small donations in 24 hours than any other candidate.
	Um, the Atlantic had the, you know, had had this article about it and, uh, Tina responds Progress comes with change.
	years consistency meaning Bernie's record means lack of growth oh my god you You can only grow from being a shithead.
	Like, you can only grow from not voting for war anymore.
	I just think like, you know, he's been on the right side of history and like, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm a modern girl.
	You know, I'm, I'm a material girl living in a material world.
	It's, it's 2019.
	Why do I want somebody with views from like 1965 civil rights era?
	No, see, it's, it's another parable.
	Um, see when, when Hillary does something like vote against war that really is out of her character you know it's it's giving a small donation from her small pot of money where Bernie's always like doing the right thing so when he continues doing the right thing it's not exceptional he's the rich man donating a small amount and she's the poor man donating a huge you know donating a small amount but it's worth a lot more
	Yeah, I mean, if you're measuring, like, you know, in terms of, like, physics and the laws of motion and everything, like, Bernie's just in cruise control.
	You know, Bernie's just in cruise control while all these other candidates are actually accelerating.
	Yeah.
	They're actually gaining speed.
	Like, when Hillary went from saying we should have an $8 minimum wage to a $12 minimum wage, that was her fucking blowing by Bernie Who was like just coasting on the idea of a living wage, you know?
	Yeah.
	For 55 years.
	How about that concept?
	I thought that that was so funny.
	Like, uh, no, Hillary was just as progressive as Bernie, even though she like undercut the national fight for 15 movement by $3.
	Thanks for that.
	It's like, this is a take, again, about all the money he fucking raised.
	You'd think that as a socialist, he would share the wealth rather than keep it for himself.
	It's like, this is a take again about all the money he fucking raised.
	Yeah.
	And I almost made this joke, but considered it much too hacky, much too obvious of a joke.
	But this guy said it for real, so maybe it wasn't that obvious.
	I don't know.
	Is Bernie supposed to send checks out to his competitors?
	Is it supposed to go to the DNC pot?
	One would think that if Bernie Sanders were really interested in the issue of money in politics and financial inequality, he would insist that all campaign monies be put in a general fund and shared equally between Democratic candidates.
	That Bernie Sanders has not done so, in effect, proves that he's no socialist, but is a money-grabbing, compromised political hack just like the others.
	Uh, first I want to say, um, Bernie Sanders is not a socialist, but it's not because he doesn't give money to capitalists.
	I, yeah.
	I, I wish this guy, I hope this is his real name so I can vote for him later on in life.
	Cause you just can't fight this type of, you know, sound logic and reason.
	I love, like.
	If he's so interested in inequality, why doesn't he give his money to the other millionaires running for president?
	Yeah.
	That makes total sense.
	Good job, John.
	They all need the same break you're getting.
	That's what they see it as.
	They see it as a break.
	They see it as like a...
	Um, it's, um, does he have, it's like a GoFundMe campaign, you know?
	Uh, something like that.
	They don't, they don't see that he's like, this is a genuine, every candidate has the same option.
	Every candidate is also getting donations.
	They're just not getting as many.
	Well, yeah.
	How, how many of those people would continue donating to Bernie if they knew he was going to share that money with Kamala fucking Harris or Cory Booker?
	Never.
	And it's like, you know, Will Miniker says, that they just think he's cheating.
	They think Bernie's cheating by being popular, by saying things that people actually want to hear, by proposing policies that people actually want.
	They think he's somehow, like, getting away with a trick.
	Well, I think they see it as the old trope of Someone running for student body president and saying, and we'll have pizza every day and no more homework.
	Yeah, and I don't like the idea of my constituents having a pizza meal every day.
	Except for, you know, they actually have the resources to have pizza every day and no more homework.
	Yeah, no, they think he's promising a pony as opposed to, like, life-saving medical coverage for everybody.
	resource is actually there yeah no they think he's they think he's promising a pony as opposed to like life-saving medical coverage for everybody yeah yeah exactly and another he's not like promising those things he's saying he's going to fight to do them and that uh doing so will take an enormous grassroots effort that will have to involve everybody
	and you know this segues into the pretty well into the next section which is me committing the the The original sin of engaging with liberals on my personal Facebook page.
	I don't know why you do this to yourself.
	Engaging with people I've friended by meeting them at city council meetings and shit who turned out to be like Really, like, silly liberals.
	And yeah, one of the common refrains is, what has he done?
	What has he even done?
	God, he's only passed, like, 220 bills in the Senate since he's been there.
	That's it?
	That's it.
	And he only has, like, a 96% progressive rating.
	Whereas Kamala Harris has a nearly perfect record in Senate and she's been there for like a couple years now.
	You know and I don't want to stand for Bernie too hard because he's got his failings but I feel like the biggest metric of Bernie Sanders efficacy and success has been the sort of political conversation he's inspired the like grassroots response to
	You know, the inevitable climate catastrophe, the inevitable catastrophe that's going to arise out of student debt and income inequality and, you know, the immigration... Well, I don't know how he is on immigration.
	I don't know how he is on that, but... You know, that's one of those ones that sucks.
	Like, I don't know how he's either, but it's got to be better than... It's got to be better than what we're dealing with.
	The point is like thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people have been inspired to join local level organizations that do work with immigration, that do work with income inequality and homelessness and women's issues.
	And I feel like that's the biggest, it's undeniable the sort of political, the seismic political reaction in the wake of his candidacy.
	But, um, this person that I met at a city council meeting, um, she's posted things like, uh, Nancy Pelosi is beautiful to me because colon.
	And then like, you're supposed to like comment with why Nancy Pelosi is beautiful to you.
	Uh, she's just very, very funny person.
	Um, But she, you know, she hates Bernie.
	She fucking despises Bernie.
	And she posts, like, supposedly lofty, high-minded platitudes about how we need to reach across the aisle.
	How can Bernie Sanders reach across the aisle and make sure that he doesn't shush any women?
	You know, things like that.
	And she was like, this specific post was, uh, Bernie Sanders was obviously very unpopular in the 2016 election, and that's why he lost to Hillary.
	How can he reach those people this time?
	I'm asking in good faith.
	No fake news, by the way.
	No lying, Bernie bros.
	And my response was just, um, campaign?
	Like, by campaigning?
	That's how he's gonna reach more people?
	But, uh, there was a lot of, like, you know, attacks on Bernie bros and how they refused to vote for a woman and all this.
	And I had to, like... I kept gently, like, commenting that, you know, Bernie Sanders voters... More Bernie Sanders voters voted for Hillary Clinton than Hillary Clinton voters voted for Obama in 2008.
	Uh, but, you know, like...
	They did that little Matrix wiggle and it just went right around them, you know?
	But, it came down to, you know...
	What are his policies?
	What are his plans?
	And, you know, I said, you know, what I've said on this podcast.
	And then I said, you know, Kamala Harris, like, she has a history too.
	She has a history of locking poor, black, brown people up for minor offenses.
	You know, she wanted, she legit wanted to arrest and Did arrest a mom for or brought charges against a mom because that mom's kid was truant or absent from school.
	Like that was one of her signature policies that she like laughed about a few weeks ago.
	And I was like, that's, that's a concrete plan.
	Like, if that's what you're talking about and it's, it's awful, it's a, it's a terrible plan.
	And, um, she says, uh, so are you saying that Kamala Harris is responsible for mass incarceration for mandatory minimums?
	Be realistic, be fair, be educated, be well.
	It's like, no, she's, may not be responsible for it, but she is choosing to enforce them to the harshest means.
	That was her job.
	Her job was to, to look at the rules and, you know, execute justly.
	And she chose to be harsh.
	She chose to, to be awful.
	I'm sorry, but she is directly responsible for that.
	How do these people think people get locked up?
	They have fucking charges thrown at them.
	They get arrested, and then they get prosecuted.
	It's a two-step process, and it's actual people Enforcing these laws.
	Choosing to enforce these laws.
	Choosing to arbitrate how they enforce these laws.
	Because as I brought up in this conversation, Kamala Harris decided not to prosecute Steve Mnuchin's bank.
	Yep, exactly.
	I wish she would have had the same discretion when choosing to charge other non-violent criminals.
	But for some reason that was just reserved for, you know, a fucking billionaire who became Trump's Treasury Secretary.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, for just some mom who, you know, probably just had to go to work.
	You know?
	How can- Had to go to work.
	How can pro- Anything.
	How can prosecutors be responsible for incarceration?
	That doesn't make sense.
	Be realistic.
	Be fair.
	Be educated.
	They're like the one person we can say that about, definitely.
	Yeah, and throughout this whole conversation, because this person is on my friends list, throughout this whole conversation, I wasn't even being snarky.
	I was just, you know, responding.
	And, uh, she says, listen, I know you love your man and that's awesome.
	Okay.
	I don't really think you think that's awesome, but right now you're doing the thing that makes people dislike Bernie lovers.
	You're working so hard to demonize a strong female candidate while failing to see any of the flaws of your own.
	Oh my God.
	SMH.
	Have a great day.
	So this person wanted to start this conversation to build bridges.
	And then the second I criticize the candidate that she likes, suddenly I'm dislikable.
	Suddenly me personally am dislikable.
	I'm the reason why people don't like Bernie voters.
	And so it kind of makes me think that This discussion wasn't in good faith at all.
	I doubt it.
	This is doing more to make me the enemy than I was ever doing during the conversation.
	Anyway, this is getting too personal.
	This isn't what I meant.
	It's just a bummer because the thing is, yeah, in 2016 there was a bunch of awful Lame attacks.
	They were purely sexist.
	They were, you know, and there still are.
	They still go on all the time, you know.
	So when you make everything that, it takes away from when it's actually happening a little bit.
	And it kind of sucks.
	It's like, no, like there's some real critiques to be had here.
	But that's not it.
	Yeah, and then finally, I want to address a real political cartoon that hasn't been edited as far as I know.
	It's Bernie dressed up as like the sailor from the, you know, World War II victory picture where that sailor kisses a nurse against her will that we all love.
	Bernie is saying, I'm back, kiss me.
	And the nurse has the head of the Democratic donkey, but with like eyelashes, so you know it's a lady donkey.
	And she says, no thanks, I'm more into women now.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Um, that's, yeah.
	Okay.
	Good for you.
	This, this is like an insanely cursed political cartoon.
	Because it's, it's appropriating a, um, a genuine like sexual assault.
	Yeah.
	It's, and it's, it's equating that to Bernie's candidacy that he's like sexually assaulting the democratic party by running.
	Um, and it's also appropriating like gay language, but like sort of a Kevin Smith idea of how lesbians talk.
	Yep.
	That's exactly what that is.
	That's a Kevin Smith movie character.
	No, thanks.
	I'm kind of into boobs now.
	Yeah, like this conversation happens in Clerks.
	For sure.
	Dude, you think Brady got a chance?
	Nah, man.
	They're into chicks now.
	I mean, this is like... I never saw Chasing Amy, but I'm just sure that that's what this is about, you know?
	Or it's like the end of Dodgeball, where she's like, I'm not a lesbian.
	I'm bisexual.
	And then she makes out with both of them, and it's super fucking cool.
	But... No, it's like... Bernie.
	No means no.
	It's like that.
	It's like that cartoon.
	Bernie's raping us by joining the race.
	Yeah, except for instead of kissing he's just like, how about you consider this idea?
	He's manspreading on the debate stage.
	Yes, Bernie is the male who's running this election who is the sexual assaulter.
	Oh yeah, totally.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Okay, so our next topic of the night Is a little old guy named John Wayne, who I think is like dead now.
	But an old Playboy interview, everybody probably heard about this, an old Playboy interview resurfaced from like 1971 or something.
	An interview with John Wayne where he says a bunch of completely awful, like, cartoonishly awful shit.
	And a bunch of people were like, whoa.
	Like, that sucks.
	Yeah.
	And, you know, if you're like an educated, worldly person like myself or like Tony, you've always known that John Wayne is a Nazi.
	Um, you're familiar with the idea that John Wayne sucks and not just because he like played Genghis Khan and then died from it.
	Killed the whole cast, killed the whole cast of the Conqueror by filming that movie on fucking nuclear waste sites.
	Uh, I did not know about that.
	Oh yeah, it's a wild history.
	Just Wikipedia, The Conqueror.
	I think like 60 people got cancer after filming that movie.
	Whoa.
	But there's a contrarian response to this that I don't really care for.
	The response is like, God, it happened so long ago.
	Who cares?
	Right?
	Like that's, that's the sort of contrarian take to this.
	Um, but as we all know, the best response to any news story, uh, is not the response.
	It's not the response to the response.
	It's the response to the response to the response.
	It's always the best news story.
	And that's what we try to go for on this show.
	So LifeZette, which is I guess like a magazine about life, which I don't know why no one's ever done that before.
	It seems like a good idea.
	Well, you might remember it used to be called the Life Gazette, but then they decided to, you know, make it a little more youthful sounding, you know, make it a little more, um, a little more pizzazz.
	So now it's just Lifeset.
	If they wanted to make it cooler, they would have called it LifeVet, because Corvette is like a really cool, youthful car, and I think that that would have attracted a lot of readers.
	I kind of like the idea of a LifeVet being somebody who used to be in life, and now is not.
	Like, no longer active life.
	They got dishonorably discharged from life.
	Yeah.
	That sounds so goddamn, like, 80s metal and the best, you know?
	So Lifeset posted this article, Snowflakes melting over decades old John Wayne interview.
	And then they have quotes here, specific quotes from the interview.
	This is from John Wayne.
	We can't all of a sudden get down on our knees and turn everything over to the leadership of blacks.
	Wayne said at one point in the interview when asked about Angela Davis, an activist who worked briefly with the Black Panthers and Communist Party USA during the American Civil Rights Movement.
	And I love this.
	I love that because it's like, oh, this is why he was criticizing the blacks is because of communism.
	Also, we know that anybody reading this does not know who Angela Davis is, so we have to tell them who you are real quick.
	John Wayne didn't know who Angela Davis was.
	The idea that he was responding to a communist threat is absurd.
	But also, traditionally, historically, a method of radicalizing white people into the far right is by looming the specter of communism over them.
	Oh, well, the only people fighting communism are these, uh, these white nationalist guys.
	So, uh, where do I sign?
	Where do I- where do I get into that?
	Uh, Wayne also went on to defend the treatment of Native Americans in the United States.
	There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.
	What a wild take, what a fucking wild- Hey, give me some of that land!
	You could just share it!
	You know that thing that we, like, don't own?
	Yeah, you can't have it.
	I like how then they're all about, you know, sharing resources and, you know, that's the, you know, you should share and equal distribution.
	That's what he's talking about, right?
	Wayne also at one point complained about the movie Midnight Cowboy.
	Starring Trump supporter John Voight.
	Interesting.
	Starring Trump supporter Jon Voight.
	Starring that one celebrity that likes Trump.
	And complained about homosexual relationships being shown in movies.
	Wait, hold on.
	So are Trump supporters gay?
	Yeah, it's an interesting implication.
	I think it was pretty deftly handled though.
	Though this Playboy interview has been accessible for decades, some people on social media are acting as if it dropped yesterday.
	And I love this idea of, like, everybody just has access to a 1971 Playboy.
	Yeah.
	Just listen.
	Everybody's been to their 70-year-old uncle's house.
	Look under the bathroom cabinet.
	That article's there the whole time.
	No, what was weird is, like, I remember, like, That uncle doesn't have under the cabinet, he just has a stack of them in the bathroom.
	My family friend had him in the bathroom cabinet, so that's like... It might not be as universal as... I straight up like ripped pages out of it.
	Folded them up.
	I just was really, um... I just had the bubble guts all day that day.
	Super Bowl, like 98, 99.
	You're just like jerking off and making farting noises with your mouth?
	Yep.
	Keep on saying like, oh, I'm still just pooping.
	This is all pooping.
	You're doing like foley work.
	You're like getting cups of water and dumping them into the toilet.
	With your left hand, which is impressive.
	I mean, yeah, yeah, I had to.
	That's the way the sink was set up.
	Oh, okay.
	Not the way your body is set up?
	No, the sink was to my left.
	Otherwise you would have been jerking off with your left hand.
	Yeah, with my left hand.
	I'm not an idiot.
	Okay.
	I'm not an idiot.
	I don't jerk off with my primary hand.
	Not all the time.
	So then LifeZette posts responses to the response.
	Bridget Phetasy, weird ass last name, says, the definition of privilege is having so much free time and money you can spend your day online bitching about a John Wayne interview from 1971.
	God, you just have a little struggle.
	You just have all this disposable income to be spending on a premium Twitter account posting about John Wayne.
	While the rest of us are over here, you know, posting about your post.
	We're out here slaving away, like, retweeting videos of sneezing pandas, and you just have the luxury to tweet about John Wayne.
	Yeah.
	What's that like?
	What is that?
	Yet another responded, quote, it doesn't matter if John Wayne has been dead for 40 years.
	This kind of hate speech has no place in our society.
	Please retweet so that as many people as possible can read it.
	Which I'm like 100% certain is a troll, is like satire.
	You know, God, this is so awful.
	This shouldn't exist.
	Now let's spread it everywhere.
	Like this is kind of obviously a joke.
	This is something that I would read and then tell you about it thinking it was sincere, but then you would actually take the layers away and show me how it's all just gnarly white supremacist.
	Um, yeah, well, your brain hasn't been horribly disfigured by the internet yet.
	The last response, so that one I just read, is particularly interesting since the user said it didn't matter that Wayne has been dead for 40 years.
	Actually, it does matter.
	The anger over this interview shows a particular softness and sense of first-world privilege that runs rampant through this country's easily offended.
	God, you're easily offended by thinking that somebody fucking mocking the victims of genocide is somehow in bad taste.
	God, get over it, Snowflake.
	Yeah, come on.
	That was so long ago.
	The threshold for what we're supposed to not be offended by is so high.
	Slavery?
	We're talking about slavery?
	Got just the easily offended Snowflakes once again getting upset about child murder.
	We have to talk about it though because like I've mentioned I think on the show I've mentioned before that I grew up on John Wayne movies thinking he was like you know was the fucking man and then my dad was like you know he was racist right and I was like I don't know if there's any proof of that but I'm gonna go ahead and believe you because I mean you know yeah probably was and that's and uh now I'm happy to have this concrete evidence Oh, you have that copy.
	You've had that concrete copy of Playboy in your house this whole time.
	I've had it since 1998.
	Another few quotes that for some reason, Life Set decided not to publish was, Where is it here?
	Where's the one where he says he's, uh, for white supremacy?
	I don't have that one in here, but he literally says, uh, no, I'm definitely in favor of white supremacy until blacks can be responsible.
	Oh, wow.
	He would have been so bummed on late 90s rap.
	He would have been so bummed on Diddy.
	They're buying rims like crazy.
	Just irresponsibly wild.
	Like, dude, is it...
	Rims?
	They're buying rims like crazy.
	Just irresponsibly wild.
	I told you.
	Even when they have money, they spend it on shiny suits.
	Irresponsibly puffy.
	Just so puffy in all those videos.
	To an irresponsible degree.
	That's the only reason I wish he didn't die is so that he would have to watch black people thrive.
	With money at least.
	He knew like one black dude who had money back then.
	He would have been so bummed that his grandkids listened to rap.
	Another amazing quote from this article, I don't feel guilty about the fact that five or ten generations ago, these people were slaves.
	Now, I'm not condoning slavery.
	Anytime you have to say that, it's bad.
	Like, you're about to say some fucked up shit, or you've just finished saying some fucked up shit, if you have to clarify that you're not condoning slavery.
	Nothing good has preceded or followed that statement.
	It's just a fact of life.
	Like the kid who gets infantile paralysis and has to wear braces so he can't play football with the rest of us.
	That's amazing.
	Just like, you know, it's a fact of life.
	Like some people are born deaf, some people are born black, and that means they can't participate in the national sport of democracy.
	Well, it's like the movies, though, where the kid does have paralysis, but then he still gets to suit up and scores a touchdown and gets carried off the field.
	There's that moment in every slave's life where they get to go inside for a meal.
	That's like the ultimate psychological torture.
	And then they're carried off still.
	And I just love this idea, like, yeah, some infants are born paralyzed and then we just let them die.
	Let him go.
	We don't do anything to mitigate that unfortunate circumstance.
	Well, the problem with paralysis is that you can't really develop grit.
	Not even false grit, let alone true grit.
	Let alone true grit.
	Oh yeah.
	Playboy.
	What kind of films do you consider perverted?
	John Wayne.
	Oh, Easy Rider, Midnight Cowboy, that kind of thing.
	Wouldn't you say that the wonderful love of those two men in Midnight Cowboy, a story about two F-words, and you didn't say the good F-word, you said the other one.
	Wouldn't you say a story about two F-bombs qualifies?
	But don't get me wrong, as far as a man and woman is concerned, I'm awfully happy there's a thing called sex.
	It's an extra something God gave us.
	I see no reason why it shouldn't be in pictures.
	Healthy, lusty sex is wonderful!
	That's the problem with gay sex, it's not lusty enough.
	I think, like, out of all the offensive things he said, out of all the racist and horribly bigoted things he said, um...
	John Wayne talking about lusty sex is still the worst.
	It's still so gross.
	It's still the most awful thing he's said in this interview.
	The scene I remember the most is the scene in McClintock where he paddles his wife.
	He puts her over his knee, chases her through the town, and the town cheers him on.
	Tears her clothes off.
	Get her!
	And then puts her, puts him over her knee, puts her over his knee and like paddles her with like the the um fireplace pan.
	Oh my god.
	Yeah and like the whole the whole town like cheers for her and then they go like have sex.
	Okay well was she being a bitch?
	She was getting lippy.
	I think that's where it started.
	I think he says you're being lippy and then Proceeds to beat her with the town supporting him.
	Doesn't he?
	It was real lusty.
	Doesn't he?
	That's what I'm getting at.
	Doesn't he also spank the female protagonist in A Quiet Man?
	That Irish movie?
	Yeah.
	Yep.
	That was like his thing.
	Like John Travolta danced.
	John Wayne spunk.
	Ew.
	Yeah.
	And I think he also did it in Cowboys, but they cut that scene.
	He cut that scene.
	He was like, nope.
	Oh, you know he spanked that little girl in True Grit, right?
	Oh, for sure.
	I haven't seen that, but he definitely spanked her.
	That's how you get True Grit.
	That's in his fucking writers, that he has to spank the most effeminate member of the cast.
	Yeah.
	Wayne was also asked at the time if Hollywood is doing enough to have diversity.
	He says, I've directed two pictures and I gave blacks their proper position.
	He said, I had a black slave in the Alamo.
	Listen, I know where to stop.
	I wasn't a cast of buddy of mine, but I Hair and makeup was just too much.
	Listen, we went out on a limb and did some stunt casting and cast an actual black person as a slave.
	I love that.
	I gave blacks their proper position, which is playing slaves.
	For the record, this is not a bit, folks.
	This is his response.
	He is saying that's what he did.
	Direct quote.
	Not a bit.
	Direct quote.
	Why is this worth a dust-up all these years later on social media?
	I also, you know, I'm shocked that those specific quotes I just read weren't included in the LifeZette article.
	But they go on to say, why is this worth a dust-up all these years later on social media?
	What good does it do to dig up old commentary and evaluate it by today's standards?
	And, you know, I totally get this.
	Like, I totally understand what they're saying.
	This happened a long time ago.
	It's totally irrelevant.
	Has no place in modern society.
	Why even bother bringing it up?
	So, why don't we hear some modern commentary?
	Mig Tex says, Sick of folks having nothing to do but go back 40 and 50 years to make up an issue.
	Boring.
	I still agree with him.
	I still currently agree with the sentiment of John Wayne.
	Okay, well... Insane.
	That has 105 upvotes in the Daily Mail comments section.
	Okay, that didn't really help my point that this outrage over John Wayne's comments is totally irrelevant.
	So let's go on to the next one.
	Blind River says, he's certainly gone up in my estimation.
	First of all, Blind River, what a fucking lame way to say what you just said.
	I think he's trying to talk like a cowpoke.
	Oh, yep.
	That makes sense.
	That is the scary thing about this is that, um, I do feel like there's a lot of people who don't know who John Wayne is, that are of a certain age.
	Like, I feel like, hopefully, you know, college-age white men don't know about John Wayne, and this should just bring it to their attention.
	And now they have this, like, new, like, icon, these new movies to watch.
	Yeah, that's why it's relevant today.
	Now, now people get to share in his wisdom.
	I'm not going to watch Punisher and McClintock.
	Buddy Noel says the whole concept of hate speech was conjured up by the same people to express hate.
	Ted Cruz said the First Amendment was not created to protect the comfortable.
	John Wayne was absolutely right, and those who try to take him out of context today simply live ignorant to what he meant about America's struggles to stay free.
	So if you don't like John Wayne, who cares?
	He will still be admired more so than any actor alive, period.
	And yeah, once again, John Wayne was totally taken out of context.
	This is an old interview.
	It has no relevance.
	Also, he was 100% correct.
	Who the fuck quotes Ted Cruz?
	That's how lame people are.
	Somebody who thinks John Wayne, Draft Dodger, actor, given name Marion, is a model of American masculinity.
	Oh my god.
	Like, who was it?
	Who's that blonde lady on Fox News?
	I don't know.
	It's supposed to be a joke.
	I don't know, one of their major hosts, Laura Ingram.
	Laura Ingram.
	Laura Ingram.
	Let's talk about the left, how they want to destroy history by taking down John Wayne, just like ISIS destroyed religious historical artifacts.
	And I feel like... Same.
	Yeah, no, I feel like that comment is really revealing in that John Wayne does represent a sort of... What's the word I'm looking for?
	A sort of, like, biblical, spiritual retelling of American history.
	Oh absolutely, yeah.
	You know, some sort of like parable, some religious narrative that we've constructed to glorify and amplify America's standing that has really no basis in reality and furthermore doesn't even have like the positive connotations or the positive message of the Bible.
	In those same movies, again, the way he portrayed the relationship between Americans and indigenous people is insane.
	It is so wild.
	It very much walks this line of like, no, we're really nice to them, but also be careful around them.
	Also, they love booze.
	We're really nice to them the way you would be nice to a child, you know?
	Exactly.
	A line I'll never forget from one of those movies is the chief of the local tribe shows up to this fight that's happening, it's a big brawl, and the chief says, good party, no whiskey, I leave now.
	And that was like, and everybody like has a big hurrah and laughs and it's like, yep, he just, you know, keeping it real, just keep it.
	That's how it was back then.
	Well, see, you're taking that out of context.
	See, back then all Native Americans were drunks and awful, you know, back then.
	But, you know, if you view it through today's modern lens, like, you know, they just don't exist anymore.
	So it's unfair to put that on a modern lens.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Two Dog, and that name is going to become important later, says, Let dead dogs lay.
	He was a great actor.
	What he thought was not why I enjoy his movies.
	We all have opinions about things in life we deal with or observe.
	John Wayne was a product of his time, not mine.
	I'm a 60-year-old light-skinned black man who has seen and experienced prejudice from more blacks than any other culture.
	Funny no one talks much about that subject instead of what a man who died years ago thought.
	Um, so this is my dog, my man's, uh, we gotta, we gotta talk.
	What happened, bro?
	Like what happened?
	Why, why are you, why are you sitting here as a black man in America going, Hey, listen, this white guy might say some terrible things, but you know, black people can be pretty mean too.
	Well he said he's a light-skinned black man so he probably like you know tried to release an album and like everybody called him soft and he had to get out of the rap game because of it and that's that's how he experienced racism.
	I just wish that he would, you know, would have been around for that moment from like 2015 to like, you know, 2018 when light skin energy was just crazy.
	I mean, Drake came out, uh, that's the, you know, French Montana had hits, you know, like, um, that was the rise of, uh... Logic?
	I mean, Logic's still going, you know?
	That was the rise of, um, what's that light skin dude on the Warriors?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, that guy.
	I mean, come on.
	It was like, it's a good moment for light-skinned dudes.
	Like, Minion Death Coal started.
	But I mean, like, you can tell that, you know, he's He's speaking from a place of knowledge about the blacks, because his name, Two Dog, is spelled with two G's.
	And when he says, let dead dogs lay, that dog also has two G's.
	So I believe he's up to date on his credentials.
	These are bonafide credentials.
	For sure.
	- Sure.
	This is not somebody who got all their knowledge of blackness from American Idol. - Big, oh, it's also just like, oh, there were opinions.
	Everybody has opinions.
	And you can't, it's an opinion.
	An opinion is neither true or false.
	Nor false, excuse me.
	Yeah, it's just an opinion.
	Everybody has them.
	BG2008 says, the Duke was awesome.
	So yeah.
	The Duke is capitalized.
	Yeah.
	Put respect on his name.
	The only Duke who's awesome is Marmaduke.
	It's the only Duke I recognize.
	Yeah?
	What?
	Are you going to have a riff about Marmaduke?
	No, there's no other notable Dukes.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	Nuh-uh.
	Uh do do do lay chief says it's not popular so like his statements weren't popular because it is the most sensible opinion the majority opinion is not always the correct one.
	So really weird opinion for a chief to have um you know he wasn't Wasn't too good to your people.
	I mean, he didn't really help out your cause, Chief.
	I love, like, it's not popular because it's the most sensible opinion.
	You ever notice how the most wrong opinions are always, like, the best ones?
	The best ones, yeah.
	How does that work in this moment in time, that logic?
	Where like so many people have the wrong opinion and it's really popular to have it.
	I mean this is like one of the times where they'll acknowledge Trump's unpopularity because it like fits the narrative, you know?
	There you go, yeah.
	They hated him because he spoke the truth.
	Because he kept it real.
	Gale says, and I like this take, Gale says it's well recognized that he was not a nice man.
	So like, trying to be contrarian along with like the Twitter responses that like, duh, where you guys been living?
	You know?
	Some of y'all weren't 35 in 1971 and it shows.
	Some of y'all weren't 35 in 1971 and it shows. - I remember going on these harbor cruises in Newport, California, where you would see the houses of celebrities and they would say, "And that right there, that's John Wayne's house." He was a real asshole.
	Except for they wouldn't say that.
	They would say, it's John Wayne's house.
	The Duke.
	The man himself.
	The star of True Grit.
	He's the guy who built that airport.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, so Gale is like, tell me something I don't know.
	It's well recognized that he was not a nice man.
	Man, 426 down votes.
	Not in this house.
	We don't talk about John Wayne like that in this house.
	So, like, anybody who's trying to acknowledge that, like, yeah, John Wayne sucked back then, but it doesn't matter.
	You can't even acknowledge that to these people.
	Like, you can't even acknowledge that they were bad comments from a different time.
	Yeah.
	Like, they have to all be good comments, and he was the greatest actor alive, and he will be remembered as such.
	Remember that list of people who are not family that are in my aunt's house on the walls?
	It's Ronald Reagan, the Pope, Nolan Ryan, and shit you not, John fucking Wayne.
	Awesome.
	Yeah.
	That's just because she has like a spanking fetish.
	It's a headlock fetish, but yes.
	Like I definitely feel like Catholics have a spanking fetish.
	Oh, no doubt, no doubt, yeah, yeah.
	The ruler.
	Minty says, my real knowledge of John Wayne was in that one episode of I Love Lucy, and he was so great in that!
	That's just an odd response that I liked.
	Why don't I know about that?
	That's really weird.
	He was in an episode of... Oh, he definitely spanked Lucy.
	That was the one episode where Ricky didn't spank Lucy and John Wayne spanked her instead.
	I guess spanking, that was his only job.
	He had a spanking cameo.
	The whole scene was Ricky like yelling at her and then he's about to spank her but then this charming man walks in and goes I got this one Ricky and then puts her over yep and then walks away and everyone cheers.
	in a classic sort of twist on the classic line, Ricky says, John Wayne, you got some spanking to do.
	And then Fanny, oh boy, somebody named Fanny says, I thought he was gay.
	And that has 37 downvotes.
	I wish that was the lore of John Wayne.
	That'd be great.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I think it's a joke.
	I don't know if it's a joke, but if it's a joke, I don't think it's funny.
	But if it's not a joke, I think it's funny.
	Oh, I don't know.
	I never listened to the entire Quincy Jones interview, so I don't know.
	Maybe that's where that's from?
	Oh yeah, maybe.
	It was like him and Sinatra and...
	And John Wayne.
	Um, yeah.
	Possibly gay John Wayne.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, no.
	We gotta stop daddying bad guys.
	I was gonna say, I'm into like daddying him.
	I can get into that, but no.
	It's the spanking thing.
	If you didn't have the spanking thing, your head would be clear.
	Yeah, but I can't get through it.
	It's the Catholic in me.
	All right, that's the episode.
	Thank you so much for listening.
	Thanks to any new listeners who have tuned in.
	You can follow us on social media at MinionDeathCult on, you know, I don't know, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
	You can join the Facebook group, Minion Death Commandos, where there is an ongoing conversation about how terrible people's friends and family are.
	Check that out.
	Subscribe to the Patreon.
	P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult to support the show.
	Tell a friend about this show.
	Support us that way.
	I believe that's it.
	Is that it, Tony?
	Yeah.
	Good one.
	Good one.
	Good app.
	Deuces.
	Alright, bye everybody.
	Bye.
	John Wayne was a Nazi.
	He liked to play SS.
	He had a picture of Adolf the boy.
	John Wayne was a Nazi He liked two great asses He had a picture, Adolfo boy Tucked in his cowboy stance Well he would string up your mama For sure he would torture with your pop I'm sure he would march you up to the wall.
	I'm sure he would hang you by your last ball.
	He was a Nazi, not anymore.
	He was a Nazi, not even this far.
	He was a Nazi, not anymore.
	He was a Nazi.
	John Wayne's bloodline, he knew his brothers.
	Dirtied their villages and raped their mothers.
	Now he has to keep his name on one man's heart.
	Never been, but that's my son.
	He was a Nazi.
	He's not anymore.
	He was a Nazi.
	Like Jesus Christ, he was a Nazi.
	Not anymore, he was a Nazi.
	John Wayne's bloodline, a coup d'etat war.
	We don't give a fuck about John anymore.
	We know his tales, but he's gore.
	Scooping up the form for the capital's war.
	He was a Nazi.
	Not anymore, he was a Nazi.
	Like Jesus Christ, he was a Nazi.
	Not anymore, he was a Nazi.
	John Wayne wore an army uniform, didn't like it when the facts didn't conform.
	Craig Lightning had so much nerve, he lived much longer than he deserved.
	You are not safe, not anymore, you are not safe.
	Like James McClure, you are not safe, not anymore, you are not safe.
	Make sure we need them next to die, crash off again, I'll legitimize.
	If the Greeks crown you, I'm for the real fight.
	When I see John, I'm changing white.
	Get fake Christians, mission around.
	God's alive, you're roasted now.

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