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Dec. 10, 2018 - Minion Death Cult
01:21:06
85 - Baby, It's Cold Inside

This week we address the plethora of bad takes surrounding holiday media, including A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, and Baby, It's Cold Outside. Also: Wall Street Bros are threatening to withhold their charms from female colleagues if this whole "#metoo" thing continues.

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Way better than Tony to Tony.
Can I include that?
Yeah!
Okay, cool.
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to get yourself.
Follow their rebar in the postcard.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Your classic childhood holiday favorites are responsible.
We're documenting it.
We are lucky enough to be joined by a first-time guest here.
Katie, no last name.
How you doing, Katie?
You know, doing good.
Cool.
Sounds good.
Yeah so tonight we're going to be covering a few things.
We're going to start off with the PC Police ruining Christmas.
They want us to say holidays.
And we won't.
No.
No.
We won't do it.
We're saying Christmas.
We're saying Christmas.
We're sticking to it.
Even though we're going to mention Thanksgiving.
But we're sticking to Christmas.
It's just all Christmas.
They're ruining Christmas.
It's just all... There should be like... Any holiday after September is just Christmas.
It's just Christmas, yeah.
I mean, it's right in the name.
Christ.
Happy Christmas.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Christ is year-round.
So yeah, totally.
Every holiday should just be considered Christmas.
I feel like...
That also gives a boon to like the Hot Topic emo kids who like try to inject Christmas into Halloween with their animated stop-motion movies.
So this works out for everybody.
My favorite Christmas celebration is barbecues and fireworks.
Yeah, don't worry, we have people that are fighting for us, like my aunt.
Fighting for Christmas Warriors.
The Christmas Warriors.
Like my aunt, who at the Christmas parade, while Representative Pete Aguilar was walking by... Democrat Pete Aguilar.
Democrat Pete Aguilar was walking by, she yells at him.
Merry Christmas!
Please don't take that away from us!
I love yelling Merry Christmas at a politician as, like, an act of rebellion.
Yeah, yeah.
We actually had a great time at this Christmas parade.
It was getting a little loose.
Had a little to-go cup full of a little... I think we were calling it, like, special juice to keep the kids away from it, which makes it sound even more appealing to the kids.
But at one point, As you know, me being the warrior that I am, I was saying, because the Christmas Parade is supposed to end with Santa, and so I said, you know, the Christmas Parade really should end with Jesus.
And she began chanting, We want Jesus!
We want Jesus!
Bring back Chilly Willy!
Well, technically Easter brings back Jesus.
You gotta wait for Easter for Jesus to end things.
It was just a great moment where I wanted my troll to work and it worked way better than I expected.
It's beautiful.
We did have a great time.
That's a pure heart right there, your aunt has.
And Santa was amazing and I did also have a moment where Santa came by and I knew the person playing Santa and I forgot that that was supposed to be actual Santa and like mid yelling his name I had to stop myself from yelling his name as to not ruin my child's Christmas.
You were like, Scott Calvin, I mean Santa Claus!
Exactly yeah, yeah, it was pretty great, but um yeah, so Yeah, the PC police ruining Christmas.
Yeah, so this is December I feel like Christmas is a special time of year for everybody, even though we've acknowledged that it is year-round.
But, you know, what the liberals and the liberal media considers Christmas is an even more special time.
Brings out a lot of interesting takes online.
A lot of people are just sort of obsessed with Christmas and its, I don't know, place or lack thereof in our culture.
And so, we are definitely going to be trying to cover Christmas every week of December.
Every week of December, we hope to find some element of Christmas derangement to cover on this show.
This is going to be like your advent calendar leading up to Christmas, where every week you will open up a little pocket of hatred.
Tasty, tasty hatred.
So instead of chocolate, it's just deplorables?
Exactly.
Instead of chocolate, it's white chocolate.
So, our first topic is going to be a real gangbuster topic because we are covering three holiday classics in one and how the left is trying to destroy them.
So, I have an article here from Fox News.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Charlie Brown, and other holiday classics sparking controversy.
So we're going to go through these one by one and the various galaxy brain takes they entail.
The first one, of course, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
So the reason that this is controversial is Not really because of Huffington Post, but Huffington Post, like, took a few tweets and decided, uh...
It warranted an article about how Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is problematic as heck.
Seriously problematic is the phrasing in this tweet from Huffington Post.
I'm sorry, it says seriously problematic with like worried blushing emoji?
Yeah, that's very important.
It's like concern emoji.
Complimented but concerned.
HuffPost, a liberal news site, was lampooned after saying Christmas classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was quote, seriously problematic over claims that it features sexism and bullying.
The video also suggests it was problematic that Rudolph's father verbally abused him by forcing him to wear a fake nose to be accepted by others.
Some eagle-eyed social media critics also said the cartoon is sexist because Rudolph's mom was snubbed after she wanted to help reindeer husband Donner to search for their son after he goes missing.
No, this is man's work, Donner says.
But HuffPost's effort to highlight the perceived bigotry of the beloved movie attracted tens of thousands of negative comments, most of them mocking the video.
So in this video that HuffPost has, they cite two tweets.
The first of which that Rudolph, it says that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is a parable about racism and how Santa Claus runs a exploitative racist organization.
I can't remember the exact phrasing of the tweet, but essentially it was correct.
Essentially, um... Essentially, it highlighted all the, uh...
Racism and bigotry that is in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and, you know, faulted Santa for running this sort of organization.
Another one of the tweets was like, oh, Santa's got a real big HR problem.
And so there's like obviously jokes or obviously just like, hey, reminder, like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is actually about like racism and bigotry.
Yeah.
Which is accurate.
It's true.
Kind of the point.
Yeah, not glorifying racism and bigotry, but saying how racism and bigotry is bad, and how you might be missing out on a sweet, sweet red-nosed leader.
So, uh, Huffington Post, dipshit liberal website, saying that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is seriously problematic because it shows bigotry in a negative light.
Yeah, exactly.
So, interesting take, interesting way to go for Huffington Post.
Literally just, like, bottom-of-the-barrel clickbait bullshit.
Well, where Rudolph really blew it, where the story of Rudolph really blows it is when they give Rudolph a chance.
Sorry, say again?
Where, like, the story really blows it is when they give Rudolph a chance.
But they're like, oh, you know, you can maybe leave the sleigh.
That's from Huffington Post's point of view?
That's what it feels like.
They shouldn't have done that.
They should just, you know, leave him alone.
It's almost like saying... Like they should have made the character so irredeemable that they never gave Rudolph a chance?
Is that what you're saying?
Huffington Post is basically saying, you know, uh... Affirmative action's racist.
That's what's happening here.
Okay, so if that wasn't enough for your bad takes... Oh, the antagonists in this film are seriously problematic.
The other take, the response to this...
is oh look something people like and enjoy let's go ruin it tweeted Rebecca Heinrichs quote if you try hard enough you can find a fence in almost anything Chloe Wesley seconded so the response to this is no the racism and bigotry in this film is actually good Yeah.
If you try to find offense at appearance-based slurs, well, you're just a snowflake.
Like, that's just part of, like, the goodness of the movie.
Exactly.
I mean, Rudolph's an interesting one, too, because they talk about racism and bigotry, but I don't know about racism because I don't know about equating, like, having a red nose with, like, you know, being marginalized for your race uh but there are some interesting obviously once again you're overlooking the irish true true red red noses
but i mean like the thing about here is interesting is how they like try to like change rudolph that's that's kind of it's kind of wild that's more about something to hide you know kind of i think has parallels more to homophobia in some cases where oh well don't wear this you know cover up that nose you know have some decency uh Uh, you know, that's.
Yeah.
What does the dead say?
It's like, it's not about being comfortable.
It's about being presentable.
Yeah.
Having self-respect.
Yeah.
Oh, is that what he says?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
That's even, yeah.
Not about being comfortable.
It's about having self-respect.
Yeah, so it's just interesting that, like, the dad who's obviously, um...
The bad guy in the film is like, no, cover up your shame.
You should feel ashamed for this.
The other reindeer are calling him rainbow face and, you know, red, red mug or whatever.
And the dad, like making him wear a cap for his red nose or whatever, and liberals are like, oh God, that's awful.
This, this, that's problematic as fuck.
And then conservatives being like, no, we like that.
Give us more.
Give us more of the slurs.
Give us, I don't, I don't know.
Like, you guys know what I mean about that?
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, that, that is, that is problematic.
Two really bad takes that are, that are aimed at each other and nothing else.
The bad guy is bad and that's good that he's bad.
And the conservatives are like, yeah, but like the bad guy is kind of tight too.
Right.
It's like, yeah, they don't see the dad as a bad figure.
They're just like, no, that's just how it was back then.
It's like, uh, can you imagine a bunch of conservators going to see the movie?
It was called Boy Disappears, right?
Boy Disappears?
Oh, Boy Erased.
Boy Erased, yeah, Boy Erased.
Like, being really mad about the ending.
Oh.
Being like, oh it didn't work.
Did you go see it?
I saw most of it.
Oh.
That's really good.
I had to bootleg it.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm the guy that bootlegged that movie.
That was a good movie.
You should pay to go see it.
I want to see the whole thing, yeah.
Support queer media.
I probably will see it on Tuesday for $5 Tuesday.
Uh, yeah.
It's a good movie.
But yeah, you know, I just feel like, especially with the elf, I feel like he's kind of, you know, could represent some homophobia too, where he didn't want to do what the elves do.
He wanted to be, you know... Totally.
He wanted to be a dentist.
Yeah.
Notoriously gay profession.
Yeah.
This also echoes a similar sentiment you see with conservatives online who are like, God, a character like Archie Bunker would never pass in today's media.
Not realizing that Archie Bunker was a parody of a right-wing person and only there to be laughed at.
Yeah, he was not taken seriously.
He was not someone to look up to.
He was someone to make fun of.
The joke was that he sucked.
Let's get into some other takes about Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
This is your comment from Fox News.
Can you, since you're from Boston, can you just read the username for us?
Forget about it.
Says.
There's a real wise guy here.
Four.
Number four.
Get about it.
Says.
And Frosty the Snowman is racist because he's not black.
We all do know the most racist thing you can do is not be black.
I think that this person is just saying he's white.
So he's like probably racist.
Yeah, that's true.
I do think that most white people wearing top hats are racist.
I feel confident in saying that.
What if I didn't?
All right, all right.
No, Abe Lincoln was definitely a racist.
Yeah, yeah.
He was just the least racist person alive at the time.
Yeah, exactly.
Just saying, he had a tough hat.
He's like, I don't like him.
I don't think we should be able to own him.
Yeah, if you see someone sauntering toward you or hopping toward you with a corncob pipe in their mouth and a top hat, they're probably a racist.
Yeah, don't do it.
Especially if that person is made out of snow.
I mean, being from the East Coast, snow at the end of the season, I just have to say it's not always white.
True.
Oh, you're saying what about the black snowmen?
What about the end of the season when, you know, it's melting?
Slush?
I don't know.
Oh, dirty snow.
Okay, alright, alright.
Don't eat the dirty snow.
Don't eat the yellow snow, especially.
Sorry, we're going off topic.
We don't have representation to talk about that snow.
April and Terry Joyner on Facebook.
So April and Terry Joyner with a Joyner Facebook account says, if they think Rudolph was bullied, which he literally was.
That's the whole point of the movie.
If they think Rudolph was bullied, wait till they hear the story about the dude that was nailed to a cross.
You know, they got a point.
I think Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer would have been... The point would have been more well-illustrated if they would have crucified Rudolph at the end.
Absolutely.
Yes, after Rudolph guides them from house to house, they should have crucified Rudolph.
That definitely sounds like a moral oral sketch.
Yeah, absolutely.
I don't know, I feel like we're also pretty familiar with the guy who was nailed to the cross.
I don't think we're waiting to hear about him.
Yeah, I don't think it's a secret.
Have you heard the good news about this man's brutal death?
Yeah, boy, if you think Frosty the Snowman is problematic, wait till you hear what got shoved into Jesus Christ.
Also, again, wrong holiday.
This is the beginning of that holiday.
No, this is his birth.
We're celebrating the birth.
It's a beginning.
It's a new beginning.
Crucifixion, not this holiday.
True.
I'm more interested in crucifact than crucifixion.
Crucifake news?
Robert E. Curry Jr.
in the comments for this... What about Jesus getting ostracized from the earth?
What about that?
Robert E. Curry Jr.
says, The left are stooping lower and lower, and you know, as perverse and twisted as the Lib Left Tours are, which is a portmanteau of liberal and left and saboteur.
I was wondering, thank you for breaking that one down for me.
Yeah, or the Raccoon Tours, maybe?
There you go.
Yeah, Jack White, notorious leftist.
That's Jack White, right?
Yeah, I don't think, yeah.
How would they fare, okay so the libs, how would they fare in a jackbooted police state?
They wouldn't.
They're the first to be exterminated.
Yeah, exactly, that's our whole fear here.
Yeah, well I think maybe he's acknowledging like the disconnect between Liberals and like their worship of the FBI or authority.
Yeah.
Their desire for authority to be the ones to take down white supremacy.
Yeah.
When historically speaking it's been quite the opposite.
And I feel like Robert E. Curry is probably pretty woke for acknowledging that.
It's like the person that has the come and take it from me sticker next to the blue life sticker.
Yeah, except liberals.
Yeah, except for liberals, yeah.
It's come and taken from them.
Go get it from them, but also... It'd be next to the Coexist sticker, I think.
Yeah, exactly.
Love the song, the CB Christmas in RRR for sure.
What does that mean?
What is the CB Christmas?
Love the song, as in the song, It's Cold Outside.
CB Christmas is Charlie Brown Christmas.
Okay.
Although, Charlie Brown Christmas is not mentioned in the story.
It's Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
And RRR is, in fact, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
It took me a very long time to decide for that one.
There's so many letters missing from that initialism.
It took me reading it as ERRR a few times before I realized it was Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
So he loves all those things.
All those super problematic pieces of media.
Conch Sister is the name of the all-female remake of Lord of the Flies that's coming out soon?
Not about bigotry, bullying, not even racism that's trying to be erased here in these new attack platforms.
It's about erasing the root word of Christmas, my conch sister.
Conch sister is the name of the all-female remake of Lord of the Flies that's coming out soon.
Conch sisters.
I'd see that.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, directed by Paul Feig.
Not as funny as the original.
Asmar!
Jesus said we would all be hated, but remember that Antichrist ilk has done, has, does, and always will hate Christ Jesus and us when we claim his name through conversion, love, and salvation.
No other name under heaven given among men, whereby we quote, must be saved.
Parentheses paraphrase.
I think the actual verse was, they don't want you to glorify my name.
They don't want you to win.
Axe 412.
So, Merry Christmas and God bless us all, everyone at Christmas Carol.
Yep, yep.
Watch CB Christmas and RRR as much as Burl Ives sung so wonderfully.
Have a holly jolly Christmas and Happy New Year.
Godspeed.
What's with just the letter N representing and?
It's paraphrased.
What was the last account?
Something n-tary?
Oh yeah.
That's the N in n-tary, yeah.
Can you imagine writing this entire thing and still feeling the need to abbreviate?
CB.
It adds up.
All those ands.
Why wasn't it just CBC?
He's a big fan of the lesbian Christmas movie Carol though.
Please go watch Carol.
Chad Rofe shared this post about Rudolph not living up to Jesus.
Chad Rofe.
Chad Rofe shared a post.
I mean, Chad Rofe, that's a fucking funny name, right guys?
It's an amazing name.
Chad Rofe sounds like something you do.
Yeah, do you have anything like Chad Rofe'd all over?
Rofe'd him.
Chad Rofe honors, well, the Virgin denies Jesus's existence.
The Chad Rofe worships his name on Facebook.
He Rofe him from the dead.
Chad Rove shares, uh, if they think Rudolph was bullied, et cetera, uh, with the addendum, pure awesomeness in Jesus name.
Amen.
Thank you, Jesus.
Thanks for putting the respect on amen.
I guess you did with the awe.
That's very, that was very, that was very kind of you.
I like him putting respect on Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus.
Very cool.
Thank you for dying, dude!
Way to go, bro!
Growing up super Catholic, keeping Christ in Christmas was a very big thing, right?
So, secular Christmas ideas were just not very welcome.
So, everyone in my family has this sticker on their car with the Nativity scene.
Is it a sticker or a magnet?
Well, I think it's become a sticker because they don't take it off.
They just leave it there year-round.
Secular Christian ideas are not a thing.
We don't want that.
It's all about Jesus.
It's not about gifts, even though they skimped on gifts, too.
Well, we give each other gifts to represent our gifts to Christ.
To make Christ happy.
At his birth, he got the three gifts.
Yeah, I would only get one, though.
Sage?
Sage, yeah.
Oh, I always got frankincense.
But Chad's profile picture is the fucking Grinch.
Mm-hmm.
The Jim Carrey Grinch.
The Jim Carrey Grinch.
Which, I don't know where this rise in popularity... Nothing to respect for my Grinch, okay?
Where did this rise in popularity for the Grinch come from this year?
Well, they're re-releasing him.
Yeah, but... Another one.
An animated one.
I keep on seeing people, like, watching it, like, nothing like my favorite movie.
I'm like, what?
I don't remember liking that movie that much.
Like, people love the Grinch out of nowhere.
The original Grinch?
The Jim Carrey.
Oh, okay.
Is it just because of the remake?
Yeah, it's like when everybody talks about how great Tobey Maguire was as Spider-Man when... Obviously.
Whenever the new Spider-Man comes out.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, okay.
I see it.
Yeah, it's just like I don't remember this love for it out of nowhere.
I don't know.
The Grinch is kind of a Christ-like figure.
He tries to like ruin the secular traditions of lighting the tree and putting presents under it.
Exactly.
You're right.
He's an icon.
I just saw some video of somebody bringing the Grinch at Universal Studios.
Like, bringing the Grinch an onion.
Because that's what he eats in the movie.
Oh, okay.
Can you imagine the Grinch being your thing?
Like, that's your thing.
Yeah, that's pretty weird.
What a lame-ass identity.
It's a very specific furry.
I could jive with it.
He's thick though, you're right, that's true.
You said furry and I understood it right away.
I was like, yeah, like Grinch got cakes.
I just love pure awesomeness as the response to Jesus's crucifixion.
I don't know if you've heard the song, but I will sing it for you now.
I was going to also reference this.
Do you want to do it together?
Can we do it together?
Our God is an awesome God.
He reigns from heaven above.
It's right there.
You notice how that's a different word than awesomeness?
Our God is an awesomeness God.
Uh-huh.
In your face.
Yeah, no, this is a totally normal thing to post about... Why do you hate God, Alex?
Oh, bro!
It's like you weren't even raised Catholic.
Whoa dude, cool beans, you got crucified?
Awesomeness!
Awesome sauce.
Do you know what I mean?
It's kind of funny.
Okay, let's move on to the next topic.
Speaking of racism.
Yeah, so we're moving on to how Charlie Brown Thanksgiving is super problematic.
How Charlie Brown Thanksgiving ruined my Christmas.
So basically there was a meme that goes around for the last couple years highlighting a panel, highlighting a specific frame in Charlie Brown Thanksgiving where the only black character, Franklin, is depicted on a side of the Thanksgiving table by himself while the other kids are on the other side or the head or foot of the table and Franklin is given
The, uh, least sturdy chair to sit in, which then also collapses comically, uh, during dinner.
And people are like, oh shit, there's probably something to this.
This is probably racist.
Well, we all know that the chair collapsed because it couldn't support his big old dick.
Well that's still a very problematic thing to say, Tony.
That's true.
Not all of us have big ol' dicks.
Some of us have slightly below average dicks.
I wish you would stop fetishizing black people.
I don't have a dick.
Your dick would be average if you're not black.
You're saying black people aren't average?
There's some sort of anomaly?
They're not normal?
I'm just saying I'm tired of people expecting me to have a big ol' dick and then just being really sad.
This cat too.
This is an average-sized cattail.
I will say he's sitting in a beach chair.
Yeah, it's like a folding chair that shuts on him, I think, throughout the dinner.
Like they were like, oh, Franklin's here, get the beach chair or the attic.
Oh, we didn't expect you to come.
This is actually the chair that the Jay-Z song Beach Chair is based on, which makes that song real heavy.
Uh, so people are saying, you know, or people were saying, oh, Charles Schultz, creator of Peanuts, uh, is racist for doing this.
Um, and, you know, the right wing is quick to point out, um...
Oh no, Charles Schultz was like a great guy and people are overreacting to this scene.
There's no shred of racism whatsoever in this scene.
Once again, this is like two groups kind of both missing the mark, which is the good thing about having a podcast is you can just talk about how everybody else is wrong, you know?
It's lovely.
I just want to read here from Snopes.
There's a Snopes article about this meme about Charlie Brown Thanksgiving being racist.
And it's mostly important for its history of Charles Schultz in getting Franklin into the strip.
It's a very interesting article.
The article is called Fact Check You're a Racist, Charlie Brown?
On Snopes.
It's very interesting.
Charles Schultz has correspondence with a retired school teacher who is concerned about race relations in America.
Uh, and wrote to Charles Schultz in 1968 shortly after Martin Luther King Jr.
was assassinated.
Um, and the correspondence involved, you know, Charles Schultz, uh, taking the concerns about including black characters, uh, very seriously, but he didn't want to tokenize the black character.
And, um, the other side of the correspondence was like, no, just please put a fucking black character in there at all.
Um, but I, there's, there's a specific, passage here.
I finally put Franklin in, Franklin being the character, and there was one strip where Charlie Brown and Franklin had been playing on the beach and Franklin said, "Well, it's been nice being with you.
Come on over to my house sometime." Again, they didn't like that, meaning the publishers.
Another editor protested once when Franklin was sitting in the same row of school desks with peppermint patties.
That's an important thing to mention, the same row.
It wasn't just that they were in the same school.
Or even next to each other.
Next to each other, exactly.
The editor said, we have enough trouble here in the South without you showing the kids together in school.
But I never paid any attention to those things.
And I remember telling Larry at the time about Franklin.
He wanted me to change it.
And we talked about it for a long while on the phone.
And I finally sighed and said, well, Larry, let's put it this way.
Either you print it just the way I draw it or I quit.
How's that?
So that's the way that ended.
So, I mean, this sort of illustrates Charles Schultz going to bat for the for the black character.
Charles Schultz rules.
Yes.
And however, Charles Schultz being the creator of a massively popular comic strip,
uh animated movie series was not personally drawing or directing every one of these animated features um you know Matt Groening doesn't draw every episode of the simpsons what yeah crazy uh i don't even think he sees every episode of the simpsons before it comes out not anymore that's for sure i think even back then he like didn't remember some episodes when he's doing commentary for him he's like i don't remember approving this joke When did his hair get spiky?
When did that happen?
I mean, there's so many episodes.
Yeah, nobody has seen them all.
So, while Franklin's inclusion in the movie, Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, is Pushing the envelope for that time, him being on the other side of the table is also possibly, probably, a direct, like, intentional.
It's intentional to put him on the other side, not sitting next to any white kids.
I would argue that there's a good chance that it is racist that he's sitting on the other side of the table because whatever producers, whatever directors were handling the day-to-day of producing this movie just didn't want to do that.
So it's even kind of a stab at Charles Schultz, you think?
Like that they took the hit where they could make it?
I think it's more just like their personal conviction.
They didn't want that kid sitting next to the other kids, you know?
And they knew that they could get away with it because he's not overseeing every single frame of the...
Actually, as somebody who has been the only black person at many a Thanksgiving, it's tradition to give me a beach chair and sit me by myself.
That's not tradition?
Right?
I don't know.
I hope it is, because if not, it's really weird.
Well, when you're the only lesbian at Thanksgiving, they usually give you one of the lounge beach chairs.
Oh, that's sick!
Yeah.
It's a little hard to eat.
Yeah, so I feel like there's room for everybody to be right and everybody to be wrong when it comes to Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
This was a comment from the Fox News article that you got, Tony.
I love this.
What is the fucking name?
Facing Midgetook.
Midgetook.
Who's Midgetook?
Do you know?
No.
Facing Midgetook says, if they started reruns of Magilla the Gorilla, you'd really see a meltdown.
Someone responds, what about Yogi Bear and Boo Boo?
This comment's so fucking crazy.
Yeah.
Because there's nothing inherently racist about Magilla the gorilla.
Until you say it's racist and are correlating this gorilla to black people, then it quickly becomes racist.
This is an insane, insane comment.
Insane comment.
Insanely racist comment.
Yeah.
I mean, I think it reveals more about Facing Midgetuk than, uh... Than Magilla the Gorilla?
Yeah.
Oh, for sure it does, yeah.
Yeah, they were like, you know, when... When people talk about there not being a lot of black representation at that point in time, facing Midgetuk is quick to say, but what about Magilla the Gorilla?
God, can you imagine if they remade King Kong today?
Oh, it'd be an uproar.
Yeah.
I love the, what about Yogi Bear and Boo Boo?
Like, these people are so raised to just, like, any animal.
Like, Yogi Bear, literally a caricature based on an Italian-American person.
Yogi Bear-a.
That's why I felt really seen in this comment.
As a black Italian, I really felt... I thought you were black Irish.
No, black Italian.
Oh yeah?
Oh, there's a little bit of Irish, but it's mostly Italian.
It sounds like you're stealing Irish and Italian valor.
I am.
I am.
Yeah, no, it's fucking wild.
No, Yogi Bear is a racist caricature, but it's racist to Italians.
Exactly, yeah.
It's based on the stereotype of back in, like, Sicily, back in the old country, the Don would walk around and he'd get first pick from everybody's picnic baskets.
He would sort of take what he wanted out of people's baskets.
Well, you know, this guy's name is Darth Don.
Yeah, so he's delusional.
I'm sorry Alex, it's pronounced pick-a-nick-bass-a-git?
Okay.
Thank you.
Alright, so let's move on to the final of the three wise guys of this segment.
And that is, of course, Baby, It's Cold Outside.
So this is the big one.
This is the one that's causing a huge uproar.
This is a song that has been, uh, I don't know, criticized for decades at this point for, for being at the very least a very weird, weird song and justifiably considered rapey.
Yeah.
Easily.
Completely valid.
I mean, I didn't really think about this song.
It didn't strike me as a classic.
I think people that want to make it a classic are really pushing it.
But even my mom was like, oh, did you hear about people aren't playing that song anymore?
And I was immediately ready to be like, yeah, mom, it's a terrible song.
But before I said that, my mom was like, Yeah, that song's bad.
I never thought about it, but that song's bad.
That song's real creepy.
Yeah, if you're not familiar with the song, it's basically a duet between a man and a woman where the woman keeps trying to leave and the man keeps preventing her from leaving.
And the phrase, baby, it's cold outside, is his sort of excuse.
Oh, you should stay because if not, you'll you'll die.
You'll freeze to death.
You couldn't possibly, you know, make it home safely.
You know, you as a weak woman, you know, couldn't make it through this storm, so you must stay.
You might remember it from the charming scene in the movie Elf, where they are singing the duet while she is in the shower and he enters the bathroom where she is taking a shower without her consent.
So it's pretty similar to the song.
Very similar to the song.
But you know, we all kind of found that charming and cute because it's a grown elf, not a grown man.
Well, and he wanted to be a dentist anyway, so there was really no chance of him being interested in her sexually.
So... Wait, did you say you hate the movie Elf?
I hate the movie Elf.
Hot take.
Hot takes.
That's the hot take of the night.
Go ahead.
So before we get into the total right-wing meltdown at the fact that people don't like a Christmas song, and the fact that one radio station stopped playing it, one radio station in fucking San Francisco stopped playing the song, Which literally generated death threats to this radio station.
Before we get into that, I want to address the, quote, feminist defense of Baby It's Cold Outside.
This is like the first example I've ever seen of a feminist, well actually, comment on the internet.
It's very interesting.
It's not really a comment, though.
It's almost like a... It's like a dissertation.
It's an essay, but I just mean like, you know, it's a common trope from from meninists or whatever.
Well, actually, the pay gap is only 35 cents or whatever, you know.
It's just interesting that you would see that from a... Well, actually, there is no problematic material in this obviously creepy song.
It is hard to believe that it's not a guy writing this saying like, how am I gonna make him believe that I'm actually a woman?
I'll call myself a feminist.
As far as we know, it is an article written by a woman who is a self-proclaimed feminist.
This is from Persephone Magazine.
Because the take in it, correct me if I'm wrong, is that the time that this was written, the woman, you know, she did want to stay, but because of the societal norms, she couldn't say that she wanted to stay because then she'd be a slut.
Yeah.
So now, you know, he's trying to... the take in this article is he's trying to help her come up with the excuses that she can tell her family and her aunt about why she had to stay.
Like, she couldn't physically leave.
She had to stay.
She's not a slut.
He's trying to give her the ammunition she needs to, you know, excuse her her spending the night or whatever.
This is much like, you know, in certain cultures, you know, when someone gives you a gift, you have to deny it three times before you can then accept it.
Well, it was the same way with sex back then.
You had to say no three times to the man before you could then receive the sex.
I mean, she says no way more than three times.
Yeah, there's literally a line in the song that says, she says, the answer is no.
Yeah.
This would have been a great, great dissertation, a great response if the song was maybe like a verse and a half long.
But it's like six verses long where she's continuing to say, I got to go.
I gots to go.
I gots to go.
Yeah, this isn't like her trying to avoid slut shaming anymore.
I mean, slut shaming happens now.
She's not trying to avoid slut shaming.
She's like, nah, I'm trying to go home.
Yeah, let me read from the piece here.
Let's look at the lines as she's talking about leaving.
She never says she doesn't want to stay.
Her words are all based around other people's expectations of her.
Her mother will worry.
Her father will be pacing the floor.
The neighbors will talk.
Her sister will be suspicious of her excuses.
And her brother will be furious.
And my favorite line that I think is incredibly revealing, my maiden's aunt My maiden aunt's mind is vicious.
Vicious about what?
Sex.
Unmarried.
Non-good girl having sex.
And then... So what is he singing while she's talking about what other people think of her?
He's providing her with a list of cover stories, essential, excuses she can use to explain why she hasn't or won't go home.
It's cold out, it's snowing, etc, etc.
So I just think that this is an amazing apology for the song because when the female character in this song, I feel pretty silly analyzing this song so seriously, but um The female character in this song says, I don't want to stay because of this reason.
I don't want to stay because of this reason.
I have to go.
The feminist woke take is to say, Oh, she doesn't really mean what she's saying.
Wild.
We can't take this woman's word on the face value because of all this stuff I've inserted into her own, into her mind.
Yeah.
Well, also in reality, it's like, especially given the time period of this song, a woman alone with a man can't really be, you know, telling a man straight up, like, no, I'm just not that into you.
Absolutely.
I'm trying to go.
That's what she's trying to say so many times is, you know, nicely declining because she doesn't have the option to say straight up, like, no, I'm trying.
I'm not interested.
You're scaring me right now.
I want to leave.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
That's that's always the vibe that I didn't get.
Yeah.
That she was like worried.
Yeah.
Being coy.
And it's a weird argument that she's being coy because who is the audience in this room with the couple?
They're by themselves.
Why would she have to protest this much if not for an audience?
You know what I mean?
If anything, she's like, yo, let's make this happen, but I gotta get home.
Like, let's get our freak on and then I gots to bounce.
Or like, those excuses are valid, let's do the dirty deed, and then we're both on the same page about the lie we're gonna tell.
But, I mean, in defense of this article, this article was written in 2010, and 2010 is just before the advent of the DM, where it was so blatantly revealed how awful men are when a man, you know, sends you a, how are you, and then you say, I'm good, and then they send you a dick pic and say, what's good, and then you say, no thank you, and then they say, whatever, bitch slut.
Yeah, this was just before they invented the screenshot.
Yeah, so it's right before that.
It was right before how blatant and obvious, right before how obvious it was that a lot of men can't be told no without getting violent and angry.
I do want to, at some point, we're going to talk about the drink.
Yeah, please go ahead.
Uh, so I was looking into this song and when I originally was looking into it, the kind of thing that popped out to me the most was like when she says, what's in this drink?
And I was like, it's like, how can you even debate that?
It's like, obviously the, you know, he roofied her or something, she's asking.
But then I looked up when roofies were invented.
It's like the 1960s.
So I'm not defending the song either, but it was an interesting fact.
That's a lyric that everybody points to when saying that this song is like rapey is that, oh, he's roofing her because she's questioning what's in the drink.
I think I think it's that's our modern minds looking back at this.
This is an era when you didn't have to roofie women.
Rape was Acceptable?
It would be going above and beyond to have to subtly slip something into a woman's drink when men had an even greater level of social power.
To me, you guys, you know, somewhere in between.
As someone that was a bartender for a very long time, a lot of men just think, I just gotta get her drunk and we're good to go.
Yeah.
And that's what she's referencing, is that it's a heavy pour.
It's a stiff drink.
And like, so, yeah, either way, this whole song's still very fucked.
But see, if it's fucked enough for my mom to realize it's bad, it's pretty fucked.
And people are like, it's not a roof.
You know, it's still like him trying to get her wasted.
My mom is so like sweet and genteel that she like saw, she was trying to be optimistic about George H.W.
Bush and his death.
And she like knew people with AIDS who died.
Like she was like friends with people whose hands she held while they died from AIDS.
And she was still like, but he loved his wife.
And that's who my mom is.
And even she knew this song was fucked.
So this one radio station stopped playing it.
96.5 K-O-I-T in San Francisco stopped playing it and I have an excerpt from Pittsburgh's Action News piece on this.
I'm sorry, Pittsburgh's Action News?
I thought you said this would take place in San Francisco.
That's how stupid the world is.
That's how petty the world is.
Pittsburgh is like, this station in San Francisco is not playing this song.
This one song.
This one station is not playing this one song.
Let's write about it.
Okay, I see what you're saying.
Well, it wasn't a big story until people started sending death threats to the news station.
And that's when it became a story worthy of Pittsburgh's action news.
They're referring to one of the station programmers here.
He never shared with his listeners the station's decision to stop playing the song, and it was never talked about on air.
But when a local TV station, so you'll like that part Tony, it was a local TV station, got wind of it and ran a story, the response was massive.
Within 24 hours, Fugula estimates, so that's the producer, the programmer, Fugula estimates they received thousands of complaints, some threatening boycotts, protests, and threats.
Yes, threats over a song.
Well, everyone knows that there's a lot of money in radio these days, so a boycott, that would really have some impact.
Yeah, totally.
Can you imagine being the fucking loser that was like, wait a second, I haven't heard Baby It's Cold Outside yet this year.
Something's going on.
Nobody did that, though.
They had to be sat in front of a Sinclair News segment that talked about how liberals were ruining Baby It's Cold Outside.
But like I said, they never talked about how they're not playing it.
They never broadcasted the fact that they're not playing it.
Somebody had to take note of the fact that they were not playing it.
I still doubt that.
I think somebody inside the station leaked it to a news... That's even lamer than what I'm saying.
Wow.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, because you said the news station got wind of it and then they ran the story.
It was never officially... I wish I knew that loser's name.
Millennials are snowflakes who can't handle 20 years of war in the Middle East.
And also, I'm going to war with the radio station for not playing a lame song from the 1930s.
I still like to imagine it was somebody who was like, they won't play my request.
I've just been requesting this one song over and over again.
And I've been listening all day and they will not play my request.
Also, San Francisco, it's not cold outside.
I mean, for Southern California standards, it's pretty cold.
It's not snowing.
Listen, Boston.
For Southern California standards, it's really cold up there.
So we're talking about the song being banned.
We did address how the song, from our perspectives, is problematic, does represent a bygone era of sort of extremely sort of I don't know.
Fucked up societal relationships.
Does this mean the song should be banned?
Yes.
Just like every single Christmas song not written by Vince Guaraldi for Charlie Brown Christmas should be banned from the radio.
Big facts.
Big facts.
Absolutely.
I think all Christmas songs should be banned from the radio.
Except those written by Vince Guaraldi and performed by his trio.
I mean, bottom line.
In California, we've already gotten rid of the Bible.
Amen.
It's time for us to get rid of the secular vestiges of the holiday as well.
Bottom line, the song does not slap.
No.
It's a bad song.
It's a bad song that doesn't even mention Christmas.
It just mentions rape and the weather.
Vince Guaraldi and Barbra Streisand's Jingle Bells.
That slaps.
Yeah.
Are you familiar?
No.
I just don't like Christmas music.
It has honestly nothing to do with religion or the holidays.
I just don't like Christmas music.
Can we please close the show of Barbra Streisand's Jingle Bells because it's insane.
Oh, is it Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells?
It's really fast.
Jingle ball, jingle ball, jingle ball, jingle ball, jingle ball, jingle ball, jingle ball, jingle ball, jingle ball, jingle ball.
It's amazing.
That's one part of it, isn't it?
Or is that the whole thing?
The whole thing is very fast and very awesome and very bad.
I know that song.
Yeah.
The debate even, so more from this article from Pittsburgh Action News.
The debate even includes comments from the daughter of the songwriter, Frank Loser.
You guys are laughing pretty prematurely here.
She told NBC News that, quote, Bill Cosby ruined it for everybody.
Oh, wow.
What they didn't say, the question was, how do you feel about pudding?
I just love, yeah, the one guy who did a rape.
Yeah.
The one guy who did a rape ruined sex for everybody.
He didn't just do a rape.
Also, there's been so many rapes, and the one she's going to pick is Bill Cosby.
The one black guy is the one who ruined it, is really what's happening here.
Do you think that this is like a reference to the Say What's In This Drink?
Oh!
Like, people think that's the only thing wrong with this song, is that it kind of sounds like something Bill Cosby did.
Yeah because again this is talking about say what's in the strength where like roofies are not existing yet.
Yeah that's so yeah.
Joe Schlipp, in an insanely viral Facebook post, says, 2011, quote, 50 Shades of Grey sells 125 million copies.
2018, quote, Baby, It's Cold Outside is offensive.
So I don't understand the point of this because baby it's cold outside kind of is at the base of it a guy trying to convince a woman to stay for I assume some type of like sexual acts whatever it is so a man and a woman having sex and I think he's kind of saying like the book is about like a man and a woman having like You know, kinky sex.
But the whole reason why it sold so many copies is because it was, like, moms masturbating.
Like, no man was involved.
Like, just a bunch of moms masturbating to a book.
Exactly.
It's almost like the women in that situation wanted it.
Yeah.
Well, they wanted an orgasm.
Yeah.
What a weird difference.
That's why they kept the men out of it.
If Fifty Shades of Grey was like, ooh, that's, yeah, I don't, it's gross, yeah.
The whole, this dude, so this had 298,000 shares.
Thousand.
Uh, this take is just that people liked sex when it was in Fifty Shades of Grey, how come they don't like it when it's being forced upon a fictionalized woman in this classic holiday song?
He's just trying to give her an orgasm, you know?
Except he won't, but that's a different topic.
I mean, we have to state the obvious.
It's just fundamentally misunderstanding the idea of consent.
Yeah.
I haven't read Fifty Shades of Grey, but I think she signs a legal document consenting to sex with the billionaire heartthrob.
And she wants to sign it.
Yeah, exactly.
She has a little bit of pause over signing it.
I've read it.
I've only seen the movie.
I'm not a literature guy like you.
It's a really heavy hitter in the literature department.
She has some pause over signing it, but ultimately she really wants to sign it and she's into it.
Um yeah and so just it's it's like people were trying to say you know no one is like oh it appears a guy trying to pressure a woman into sex in this song whereas Fifty Shades of Grey is like you know based around BDSM culture and consent and all this express consent and this he's all no you misunderstood my post Fifty Shades of Grey is graphic sex and this song doesn't even have sex in it How come that one's offensive and the other one isn't?
So just like, total lack of willingness to even, you know.
Well, there's that notorious lost first verse where he is there talking about like, maybe we should lay down some rules.
Baby, it's cold outside.
What's your safe word?
Baby, it's cold outside.
Baby, it's hot outside is a safe word.
So, baby, it's cold outside means more.
And yeah, so without the first verse, it's all misinterpreted.
When it gets a little moist, heated, you know.
Yeah.
It's hot.
I think maybe the reason these old boomer fucks love baby, it's cold outside is because it distracts them from how cold it is inside.
Each and every one of them.
Tom North says, meanwhile, they don't complain about The Weeknd.
I love how weekend is spelled correctly.
That's missing the E. But it's spelled correctly how the artist spelled his name.
Yeah, it's just not capitalized.
Damn.
Tom North is clearly a fan.
Have you seen his profile pic?
Meanwhile, they don't complain about The Weeknd singing about doing coke.
Or Katy Perry experiencing orgasms.
Katy Perry, how could you ever want to experience an orgasm?
Experiencing orgasm is just as bad as doing coke.
Why is either of them bad?
I mean, one is literally illegal.
Oh, that's your barometer for morality now?
Oh, you're right.
I just, I love it.
Like, oh, so somehow women experiencing pleasure isn't offensive to you?
Exactly.
Which even song does she sing about experiencing an orgasm?
Fireworks.
I thought all of them.
I thought every Katy Perry song was about orgasming.
No, Fireworks is about orgasming because you know how when women orgasm, like, their boobs shoot out?
Fireworks.
And it smells like sulfur.
Wow.
You must be doing something different than me.
Sulfur.
Every male R&B song should be pulled then.
Because they're about sex.
This is how little of nuance or understanding these men have when it comes to sexual relationships with women.
I mean, I think definitely all of R. Kelly's songs should be pulled.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, yeah.
Totally.
So, I agree with that part, at least in terms of R. Kelly.
During my recent stint on the dating profiles, somebody sent me a video of them and their friends listening to Remix of Ignition, and I responded with, um, R. Kelly's a sex criminal, this joke sucks, and they immediately blocked me and unfollowed me.
Were they stuck in the closet?
Apparently.
Apparently, yeah.
But that was a common take everywhere, was like, you think this song's bad, what about rap music?
You guys all love your rap music, but this song's... Yeah, honestly, if any... So, for instance, Rick Ross lost his Reebok contract after the lyric, I put a Molly in her drink, she didn't even know it.
Lost his Reebok contract, as he should.
That song is an awful lyric and a fantastic song.
He should have lost his Reebok contract.
There are repercussions happening for rape lyrics, as there should be.
So miss him with that take.
I'd like to talk about, though, another song that I think, like, definitely needs to be cancelled by an infamous white male duo, Hall and Oates.
You know, the song Private Eyes.
Not a Christmas song, obviously, you know.
Not to you.
That song is one of the worst songs I've ever heard.
And I've never heard anyone having a problem with it, but like the girl doesn't like him.
He just stalks her.
Song's about stalking, yeah.
It's real creepy.
Well, you can't stalk a girl who likes you.
It's true, it's true.
Yeah, I mean, I saw another take getting back to like the rap or modern R&B thing.
Like, I saw another take that was like, if Me Too, you know, can you imagine a song like Blurred Lines coming out today?
It's like, no, there was a huge controversy about that song.
Yeah, that was a huge problem.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I still fuck that song.
There were a lot of lines blurred in that song, though, because also, it was with Miley Cyrus, right?
No.
I don't think so.
Who was it?
I thought it was.
No, it was Pharrell.
They performed it.
She might have performed it with him at the Grammys or something.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
What's his name?
Robin Thicke, I thought.
Robin Thicke and Pharrell.
Which I love the irony in that.
Yeah, she did perform it.
Pharrell's so fucked up and dumb that, yeah I said Pharrell's fucked up and dumb, I said it, is that he did that song and was totally cool with it, but wouldn't do Flying Lotus' song because it was all about death.
He was like, that album, he was like, oh I gotta take myself off this album because it's all about death apparently, and that's too negative for me.
But like, he was cool with Butter Lines.
Wasn't that him in, at the end of the Thundercat album?
Isn't that him in that track that's like, Some of his lyrics are good, but then he's like, we need to come together and have a love revolution and shit.
He also has a lyric in any of the album where he says like, um, um, don't like make me get mad cause I'll have to chase you.
You talking about a girl?
yeah okay anyways yeah good we need to talk about we need to talk about crazy problematic pharrell is on the low uh but also we wouldn't be here without him because would minions be as popular if it wasn't for pharrell it's instead of blowing yourself up take a love pill and laugh pharrell That's a line in his track on Thundercat's album.
That's a scary picture.
What do you have against Molly?
Okay.
Molly's a good Irish girl.
Big facts.
We Are Teens posted this shit, this dumb shit about, um, oh, people are offended by a song about rape.
Um, and Shane Jocelyn says, uh, the song that goes Baby It's Cold Outside is about trying to keep a woman from leaving a man's house so that he can intoxicate her enough to have sex with him.
That's rapey as fuck.
Bradley Strong replies, no one gives a fuck, stops being so sensitive about shit.
Excuse me.
Jared McCorvey replies.
Bradley Strong, don't say no one gives a fuck.
Just not you.
I don't give a fuck about the Holocaust, but folks lose their shit when I bring it up.
So wild. - I'm old.
So fucking crazy.
What conversation is that?
I mean, I want to imagine that he was trying to be, like, satirical to make a point, but... No, he wasn't.
Yeah, I wish.
I'm just saying I want to imagine that.
Totally.
You know, to be like, obviously that's a problem when I bring that up.
Yeah.
No, he's just saying, like, different strokes.
Like, just because you care about... Just because you don't care about women doesn't mean I care about Jews.
Totally.
Or something.
I just have such a hard time following the thought process of these people in the comments.
Like, how they go from, like, this being said, just all the way to... I don't know where they get these things.
People want to insert their, like, horrible, like, bigotry and hatred wherever they can.
Just, like, the Holocaust has nothing to do with this song.
I mean...
So it's kind of like they're one-upping, like they're one-uppers?
They just want to be, they, they, like, Edgelord takes a whole different thing when you're an actual racist.
Huh.
I just think he's identifying with these people saying like, yeah, you know, uh, you get flack for, uh, not caring about baby.
It's cold outside.
I get flack for not caring about the Holocaust.
Yeah.
Same, same.
I feel your pain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, let's move on to the second and final topic.
I say second like we haven't covered three different animated movies or songs in the previous part of this show.
But it was all Christmas.
It was all Christmas.
The final topic here is a Bloomberg article, a Bloomberg expose on Wall Street about how These Wall Street dudes are too scared to treat women with respect now because of the Me Too movement.
The headline to this article says, A Wall Street Rule for the Hashtag Me Too Era.
Avoid women at all costs.
Execute Pence protocol.
Yeah.
Yeah, the article talks about channeling Pence.
I mean, first of all, not a guy.
Totally a normal thing to want to do.
Not a guy I'd want to channel.
But I just feel like it's pretty straightforward here.
Don't be an asshole and you won't get accused of sexually harassing women.
Don't sexually harass women and you won't get accused of sexually harassing women.
Yeah.
Avoid women at all costs.
You could be wrongfully accused of murdering someone, but people don't avoid knives at all costs.
I don't know.
I was watching a really good documentary on Wall Street and what it takes to be a part of Wall Street.
It's not for women?
I feel like it's just not for women.
It was starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill and I feel like that's the best part of it.
What's the best part of it?
Misogyny.
Is it the one where he bounces a bunch of checks?
It's the one about the wolves.
So let's read from this article a little bit.
Privately, though, many of the men interviewed acknowledged their channeling pence, saying how uneasy they are about being alone with female colleagues, particularly youthful or attractive ones, fearful of the rumor mill or of, as one put it, the potential liability.
So my immediate take on this topic about Wall Street executive entitled psychopaths Being afraid to, uh, being... being afraid to be alone with women, being afraid to, like, talk to women, or whatever, my immediate response is, good!
Don't talk to women.
Stay the fuck away from women.
If your reaction to the Me Too movement is to be worried about yourself, that is a giant red flag, and you should definitely be segregated from all women.
Absolutely.
And if it's a self-segregation, that's easier.
There's less cost on our part.
Or just maybe all people, because you might not be a good person.
Oh, you think somebody on Wall Street isn't a good person?
Like, oh no, there's a woman out there missing out on your flaccid coke dick while you fantasize about an Ayn Rand novel.
But you know what, all people though, because as we've seen, you know, like, these fucking people, they're gross and they will just, they'll get desperate and they'll just do whatever they need to do to feel powerful.
Too real?
Say it again?
Wait.
These guys, these guys, if they're really quarantined off to nothing but men in the office, it's a matter of weeks before they start assaulting each other.
Um, I just love the idea of like a Wall Street bro sex strike until women stop reporting rape.
Cause again, it's a matter of weeks.
Totally channeling the activism of, you know, the, the, the abolition movement and the prohibition movement, you know, uh, no lips that give consent shall touch mine.
You know, that sort of thing.
A manager, oh I love this though, saying how uneasy, these men are saying how uneasy they are about being alone with female colleagues, particularly youthful or attractive ones.
Yeah.
Oh this chick's fucking hot bro, I can't talk to her at work.
Glad us from reception's fine though.
You're already mentally undressing the woman in the office, and you're like, oh man, I can't be alone with her because she'll... Because I'm a terrible person.
Yeah!
Yeah.
I won't be able to resist.
It's the last line in this paragraph in particular that I really love.
It says, "A manager in infrastructure investing said "he won't meet with the female employees "in a room without windows anymore.
"He also keeps his distance in elevators.
Yeah, obviously we said we should... He also keeps his distance in elevators.
Yeah, don't ever stand next to the person elevated when you're like... Elevator etiquette, you know, transcends gender.
Don't enter and stand right next to me.
It took a national, like, movement to get this guy not to hover over women in elevators.
Insane.
Yeah, it's wild.
It's like, you know, he's that guy in the bathroom that goes into the stall right next to your stall when there's a bunch of other open stalls.
Oh yeah, for sure.
It says, a late 40-something in private equity said he has a new rule established on the advice of his wife, an attorney.
No business dinner with a woman 35 or younger.
Can you imagine?
Like, hey, you know Stacey, you know what tomorrow is, right?
It's your 36th birthday.
Guess who's getting dinner tomorrow?
Me and you, Stacey.
Because tomorrow you will be unacceptable and I will have no attraction to you because you will be old and decrepit and gross.
Right.
Have you ever seen the Amy Schumer Show?
No.
There's this one episode where it's like a table of a bunch of pretty well-known women comedians, like Tina Fey's at the table, and they talk this whole skit about when you reach a certain age and you become unfuckable.
You go to the pasture, right?
Then you become free, right?
Yeah, and they're kind of like celebrating becoming unfuckable.
Yeah.
I just like the idea of this manager in infrastructure eyeballing women in the office and trying to figure out how old they are so that he avoids any sort of problematic behavior in the office.
I need to scan a woman up and down as she walks by to determine her age.
Otherwise, I could be liable for sexual harassment.
It'd be even more blatant.
Before we continue this meeting, can I see your ID?
Yeah, I was gonna say, get ID'd.
Can you see your ID, please, first?
Conference room has a bouncer.
Can we see ID?
Thank you.
Uh, yeah.
And, um, yeah, the bottom line, like you said, is to just, you know, treat women with respect, which is not an option for these people.
Absolutely not an option for anyone working on Wall Street and totally incapable of this.
So their only other option is to just continue the same systematic discrimination towards women that has always existed on Wall Street.
This is like this.
This is the biggest Fallacy to this whole argument is that, oh, business as usual, not mentoring women, not hiring women.
These are the supposed ramifications of the Me Too movement.
Oh, well, we're just not going to let women into leadership roles like we also haven't been doing for the last 50 years.
Nothing has changed.
They just have a hashtag to point to now.
And I don't know if you've ever seen a group of bro dudes bro-ing down.
It's already gross and nasty.
It's like they would literally go, you know, Chadwick, you cocksucker, and smack him on the ass and call him a homophobic slur.
That's what's going to happen, and they feel like they can't break from that when they talk to any of their colleagues, so they're going to do it with women too.
Because they just can't have a discussion with anybody.
I mean, they probably already think what they are doing is, you know, like...
I'm perfectly good now.
Everything I do now is fine.
If you have a problem with that, then that's on you.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm not the problem.
You're the problem for thinking I'm wrong.
Couple takes I have here.
One of them is from a Facebook group that I'm in called, uh, What Level of Woke is This?
Which I thought I was joining to, like, make fun of people who, like, subscribe to, like, holistic medicine and are afraid of, like, vaccines and shit like that, but no, it turns out it's, like, full of right-wing edgelords who are, like, oh, this woman had an abortion.
How woke is she?
You know, like, weird stuff like that.
It's not Critiques of the Goop?
I wish it were more goop critiques.
So, this article was posted in this group, and Dustin says, No, it's reality, actually.
The fact that you could ruin my life with one lie is fucked up.
Like, I'm scared to hire a woman these days, and that's horrible, because every woman I've pretty much met works harder and more efficiently than most of the dudes I know.
I love this take, it's not done yet, but I love this take because he's obviously, like, trying to go to the mats for women, trying to help them succeed in their careers, except they're all fucking liars who will ruin his life at the drop of a hat.
God, I want to respect women so bad because they're such hard workers, but also, boy, are they vindictive.
Yeah, liars.
They're willing to put in the work to ruin your life.
I love this.
This is like the radical centrist take.
Like, I love women but god am I afraid of a false accusation.
So wild.
Not sure how to fix it at this point because hire them and then never be in the same room and always be on camera.
This is another take that you get in the Me Too era from like even women or whatever who's like, Well, it looks like we're going to have to record everything so that we don't get falsely accused of sexual harassment or rape or whatever.
So your solution to avoid sexual harassment is to record women everywhere.
Without their consent.
Yeah, it's great.
Although I do kind of enjoy the visual of a bunch of You know, Phi Sig Kappa dudes with, like, body cams.
Like, all in a room together with body cams on just, like, bro-ing out.
Yeah, we just started a YouTube channel.
Like, hey guys, this is Gerald here.
You can see my hands right here.
You can see my hands in front of the camera.
Well, I mean, they already record all of the weird rituals they do to other members in like Skull of Bones and shit.
They just normally don't release it unless, you know, that person is threatening to, uh, I don't know, raise taxes on them or something.
You know.
What's funny too is like, what I think, my theory, is the Me Too movement was actually started by Facebook.
Because they knew they were going to be releasing the portals soon, and they want every office to have portal cams inside of every single office to record everything.
At every desk.
I don't know what portal is.
Oh, you don't know what portals are yet?
No.
It's like this weird iPad camera thing.
Yeah, it's glorified FaceTime for Facebook.
It's a device to do FaceTime through Facebook.
It's like Alexa almost, but with a camera.
Just for Facebook Messenger?
Just for Facebook Messenger, yeah.
Oh, well, no.
Google's coming out with one called Hub.
That is like the Alexa with a camera.
Like, you can ask it to do things, but also it has a camera.
It has a camera.
So it's just a way to FaceTime through Facebook with a device.
Oh, cool.
But it's a device you can buy for home.
It's the phone of the future that we saw back in the day that was like, you know... Oh, it's like my phone that I have right now.
Exactly, but it's an entirely different device.
Separate.
Hell yeah.
It's the size of an iPad.
It's like if someone turned the old, like, cordless phones you had in your house into a camera.
Like, into a large, stationary iPhone.
It's like what that woman nude-dialed Sylvester Stallone on in Demolition Man.
Exactly.
It's exactly that.
There you go.
That was it?
Was the qualifier?
Wish I had three hands.
OtakuElKing tags their woman friend in a comment on this post and says, Do you see how feminism is cancer?
And I liked this comment because it stands in for a lot of comments under this story, which was, Look at what feminism is doing!
It's causing men to hate women.
Yep.
Like, look at what feminism is doing!
It's causing men to stop treating women with respect.
I mean, men already, I would say, using the same language, hated women.
Yeah.
And that's why feminism But now they have an excuse now.
It's because of feminism.
It's because of Me Too.
What was it because of before?
They didn't have to give an explanation before.
Well now it's because women are asking for respect.
Before it was like, well they weren't asking for respect.
It's real confusing for them.
I just love this it's the article is a bunch of men saying how they will refuse to mentor this it's like extortion it's like I was was joking about the sex strike thing but it's That's extortion.
If you women keep talking about sexual assault and keep talking about unwanted advances in the workplace, etc., we're not going to hire you.
We're not going to mentor you.
We're not going to suggest you for advancement in the workplace.
Picking up the thread or all these Facebook commenters saying see it's feminism like it's feminism doing this I I'm I would not surprise or I would not be surprised at all if we find very soon people women coming out saying that in Interviews they are being asked if they've ever been assaulted or accused somebody of assault That's gonna happen.
Yeah, it probably is happening.
I No way.
That would be so illegal.
They can't even ask you if you're married.
That does not stop people at all.
Especially in places like Wall Street where the rules don't apply.
Well, they wouldn't have to ask them.
They would just check their portal history for any sort of hashtags they didn't like.
Exactly.
Or whatever.
Do you own any pink hats, perhaps with ears on them?
Do you march?
Have you ever marched?
How much marching would you say you partake in?
How do you feel about solidarity?
What object were you holding while you were marching?
So we were going to end this episode on a light-hearted PETA segment, but we ran out of time, so we're ending it here.
Thank you so much, Katie, for doing the show.
Thank you.
Oh yeah, thanks for having me.
Lots of fun.
And if you want to write to us, you can contact us at MinionDeathCult at gmail.com, MinionDeathCult on all the social media, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.
Join the Facebook group at, I always say at, it's a habit.
The Facebook group is called Minion Death Commandos.
Join us there, join the fun, and give us a rating and review on iTunes if you haven't done so already.
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Until next week, thank you so much for listening.
Bye.
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