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Nov. 27, 2018 - Minion Death Cult
01:19:36
83 - The White Obama

This week we talk about the humanitarian refugee crisis at the southern border of the United States, and Hillary Clinton's plan to combat the racist right wing by enacting their agenda. Also, we address the "excitement" around Beto O'Rourke, and its roots in optics, armchair political strategy, and the donor class. Support immigrants and refugees at http://immdef.org/donate Support Minion Death Cult at http://patreon.com.miniondeathcult  

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Time Text
Yeah, Simba was hard.
I had him from when I was like, I think I was 7 until I was 20.
I mean, it's cool your dog saved your life and everything, but it is kind of like problematic for you to name him after a property stolen from an African cartoon by the Disney Corporation.
I got the Lion King soundtrack on cassette in a boombox that same Christmas as I got him.
And literally as we pressed play on it, my dad let the dog out of the other room.
Wow.
What else could I name him?
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when the...
It's going to get you.
All their environment is coming.
Stay tuned.
Alright, I think that's enough time.
I think we've wasted enough time talking about your stupid childhood.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Walmart is responsible.
But not for what you think.
We're documenting it.
So, as usual, we have a terrible episode for you folks today.
Real despicable stuff.
Daddy needed his wine for this episode.
Daddy changed it up.
Went with a little chardonnay.
Get through this one.
It's a good choice.
It's a good vintage.
You're drinking wine.
I'm drinking urine.
You have to tune into the YouTube feed to watch Tony heal his body with that magical elixir of mankind.
That sweet tooth elixir.
Now the Pee Drinkin' Man might not be the comet of men, but you're turned on by his sweet charisma again and again and again.
Oh wow.
Go to That Awful Sound's Facebook page to watch Pee Drinkin' Man by Brother, what's his name?
Brother Scott.
Brother Piss.
Not to shame our pee drinking fans out there.
Well there's no shame, it's just, it's medicine.
Solidarity.
I'll probably close out with that song.
Yeah, so, as we know, there's like war crimes going on at the border right now, the southern border of the United States.
Our country is currently launching canisters of tear gas at refugees, men, women, and children alike.
For the simple crime of trying to apply for asylum in the U.S.
Just one of the many despicable things this country is responsible for.
Trump is, of course, just kind of heightening the reality of the U.S.' 's geopolitical Stance on these matters.
We've always been pretty rough on immigration But Trump is sort of pushing it as far as You know as far as he can but Definitely intentionally heightening this issue.
Absolutely.
Intentionally making it part of his platform.
Yeah.
This is like, this tear gas is like a victory for him.
It's, it's him showing that he's not only like tough on crime, but tough on children.
Yeah.
I mean his only, uh, His only loss in this is that he couldn't get the United States military to be the ones to launch the tear gas at these kids.
It had to be Border Patrol.
I'm waiting for the photo op of him shooting a canister over the fence.
That's why he wants the clear walls.
So you can see it hit a three-year-old.
Wait, is clear walls a thing?
Oh yeah, he said the wall had to be clear so you could like see when a drug runner's gonna throw a bag of drugs over so it doesn't hit you, it doesn't bonk you on the head, make you forget that you're precedent.
How stoked would you be if you got hit in the head with something falling out of the sky, and it was a bunch of drugs?
Well, that's just a nightmare right there.
Oh, shit.
It's an American nightmare.
And then you're gonna be in your trunk, and you're gonna have to, like, go drive with it, and you're gonna be, uh, what's his name?
The Mule?
Oh, Clint Eastwood.
You're gonna be Clint Eastwood the whole time?
Yeah.
It's not an enviable position to be Clint Eastwood.
Oh no, I got a bunch of cocaine in my trunk.
So yeah, this is of course awful.
Just to state a few facts for everybody.
Applying for asylum is not illegal.
There is a process in place.
And for every one of these, uh, utter pieces of shit online, calling them illegal aliens or illegal immigrants or illegal invaders before they've even crossed a border, uh, that is how you apply for asylum.
That's how you do it.
You cross a port of entry and you apply for asylum.
You say, I am here to seek refugee status.
I'm here to apply for asylum.
Now the thing the Trump administration has done is they have literally closed ports of entry.
They have denied access to these people to the legal process of asylum and their only recourse is to try and cross the border illegally.
And it's not like these people are being given information as this is all happening.
I mean, there is no resource for these people that are Traveling that are trying to migrate to safety.
It's not like they're getting updates.
They're not, you know, there's no, there's no fucking app.
Well, these people have walked thousands of miles and they know that they're supposed to go through a port of entry.
Um, but then there's a, you know, border security agent, a border patrol agent with a gun saying, no, no, you can't do this after you've walked thousands of miles with your kids or your family, or even just by yourself trying to apply for asylum.
Like what else, literally what else can you do?
You know, Just go up your hands and turn around.
Go back to even more uncertainty.
Well, you go back to Guatemala or Nicaragua.
You go back and vote.
You go back and you write your representative back there.
Yeah, fuck.
Go back down the app, do it right this time.
Go back to Honduras and vote out the US-backed military establishment there.
Okay, so let's get into our first comment on this particular issue.
Donna posts in We Have Trumps 6, which for you non-operators, for you people sponging, Off of the hard work of our patriots overseas.
Having someone's six means watching their back.
It also means holding their penis.
Holding their fairly large-sized penis.
Donna says, I voted for my President Trump.
Hey, if illegal invaders cross over, shoot them down!
Exclamation point.
It says, like, 20 likes and loves in this group.
Um... More importantly, it's still up there.
This has not been taken down for, like, a call for a hate crime.
No, it did get taken down because, uh... Oh, it did, huh?
Yeah, yeah.
You did get taken down after, like, a day or two.
And I don't think Donna found a good conscience and, like, took it down.
No, she didn't delete it.
Uh... Uh... Fuckerberg did that.
Um...
Top comment Seth says lol calm down killer.
In the We Have Trump's 6 inch pipe Facebook group.
Jesus.
Scott Hogan comments with a picture of Trump holding, you know, a bill that he signed.
It's that meme that goes around where Trump's, like, showing the cute picture that he drew, or, like, pee is stored in the balls, or whatever.
But he's holding a bill that says, in no lie, comic sans, fuck illegal aliens, children included, deport them all.
This has a love react.
And then Maria replies, you are giving a very bad impression of our president.
That's not how he is.
You are behaving exactly like a Democrat.
It's funny because I do believe that the original origin of this type of like someone using these words with this meme would be a Democrat trying to make Trump look mean but Scott's obviously using it like Trump is just stern and about it and then Maria is like hey now you he's not that mean you you chill
I mean, I admire your optimism, but... Like, I'm in a lot of these groups, this is legit what they say.
Like, somebody who would use Comic Sans for this meme, like, definitely says, fuck illegal aliens, including children.
Like, I'm not... I'm not at all swayed by sympathy towards children.
Deport them all.
Like, they're the people who...
Share the Onion article of Border Patrol agents throwing a pregnant woman back over the wall and saying I wish if only yeah But yeah, I just love it.
That's you are given a very bad impression of our president That's not how he is.
He just literally orders the military down to the border and tells them to shoot Refugees yeah, this is just what his entire campaign was built on like that.
That's exactly how he is It's just, this thread was like, I didn't really plan on getting any right-wing takes on Border Patrol gassing these refugees because they're all just so awful.
They're all just like, yes, I love this.
Like, I don't know why you're using canisters of gas when you could be using grenades.
Yeah.
No, I'm not, like, exaggerating.
Like, people in all these groups, people under ostensibly centrist coverage of this are, like, laughing.
Laughing at kids being pulled away to safety, coughing.
This is what they want.
This is what the Republican base wants.
And so I...
I wasn't planning on repeating any of those comments.
I feel like we're all aware that Trump has a base for everything he's doing.
It's only a very naive type of person who is going to say, Trump has no support and he's doing all this on his own.
You know what I mean?
This whole show is built on the existence of those people.
This whole show is built off people that are excited for this violence, excited for this hammer to be thrown down on immigrants.
The most marginalized people.
So we know this.
Like, we don't need to continue that.
But yeah, I... - So it was interesting, this particular thread was interesting to me because Donna was like, shoot him down.
And a few people managed to be like, Hey, chill.
Yeah, chill out.
Yeah, I guess because it's real now?
I guess because they're actually... Maybe the reality is there?
I think it was a weird time.
I think it was like maybe for like, uh... General Mountain Time.
It was like 3 a.m.
when she posted this or something.
Like, I... This is like real, like, coastal hours.
It's an anomaly is what it is.
Yeah, it was either like... It was like midnight on the west coast and 6 a.m.
on the east coast.
And so, uh...
I know that doesn't work out.
You're giving a bad impression of our president who's calling these people rapists and murderers and an invading force.
It's almost like Maria was saying, you're not making them tough enough.
Or maybe she's just mad he used Comic Sans.
Oh, that's probably it.
That's what it is.
Um, okay.
So, uh, now that we've heard, you know, we've discussed, uh, right-wing opinions about this, including on like the Republican, uh, what, what the, the national Hispanic Republican Facebook page just like calls to kill immigrants and everywhere calls from like Bart Fletcher, literally saying, just shoot him.
Just shoot him.
Yeah.
Bart Fletcher in a, uh, In a 1930s cowboy or 1830s cowboy photo op says, uh, kill, kill them.
What was Bart Fletcher even doing on the, on the Hispanic, like the Hispanic Republicans page?
Well, they're a big tent.
They're, they're a big tent party.
Oh, okay.
You're right.
They accept everybody.
Yeah.
You must've just taken a wrong turn on the Facebook there, Bart, Bart Fletcher.
I mean, there was a lot of Hispanic folks for a Republican page, but it was still like 25% maybe.
Oh yeah.
So now that we've heard from the right wing about this sort of humanitarian crisis along our border, let's hear from the Democrats with Hillary Clinton.
Yeah, so let's hear what would have happened if she was in power.
Hillary Clinton, who says Europe must curb immigration in order to stop right-wing populists.
Wait... Did you mean to say that Hitler... This is a typo, right?
Europe needs to curb right-wing populists... And then that's the rest of it.
That's the whole thing, right?
Well, I think she agrees with that.
She agrees with curbing right-wing populism by giving it what it wants.
Oh!
Okay.
Yeah.
Yes, that's healthy.
Yeah, we've all read that book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.
They'll shut the fuck up and leave you alone.
Yeah, there's one page to that book.
This is like...
Just liberal mindset.
This is Democrat mindset with the veil totally ripped away from it.
Yeah.
It is.
It's one of two things.
So.
You know, this is what we kind of like fought the Obama administration for.
This desire for bipartisanship or this desire for compromise as a value that supersedes your own political agenda or your own political values.
It's this weird, like, um, not cut your nose off to spite your face, but cut your nose off because they keep on talking about your nose.
Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
Like, they'll like me better without this nose.
Yeah.
They keep on talking about my nose.
Let me just get rid of it.
And there's, like, two options here.
And, I mean, when you phrase it like this, Hilldog, like... You're not... You're not leaving it open for much interpretation.
There's only two options here.
One of the options is...
You're too weak to stand up to right-wing populists, so you have to give in to their demands of a closed border.
Or, this is what you really want, you really are a fan of quote, strong borders and anti-immigration, and you're just too cowardly to say so.
Yeah.
Like, this doesn't look good from either aspect.
Yeah, it's pretty... it's pretty bad.
It's... It's like you got lucky.
It's like when you... when you try to like uh...
Sometimes as a parent I'll, I'll like reverse psychology my, you know, my kid and I'll like be eating the, eating the vegetables and be like, man, I don't know what it is, but these taste like candy.
Like these are some really good vegetables.
And then she's like, all right, I guess I'll give in.
And I want her to eat the candy the entire time, but I had to say it was candy this time.
I want to eat the broccoli the whole time, but I had to say it was candy for her to enjoy it.
So all she's doing is calling the broccoli candy.
Yeah, so how does that apply to this?
Yeah, so how does that apply to this?
She's painting it as something else so that someone else can accept it.
She's painting this so that maybe Democrats are like, okay, I get it.
I get what she's saying here.
Yeah, she's painting it like it's a 3D chess move.
Yeah.
To give the right wing what they want.
I mean, this is literal appeasement.
This is like the failed strategy leading up to World War II before we realized that sometimes you actually have to fight Nazis.
Exactly.
I mean, this is just kind of like her, you know, revealing who she is, I feel.
I feel like it is the latter.
I feel like she genuinely just doesn't care that much about refugees.
She's not a leftist by any means, and she's totally okay with compromising with the right wing.
And so this interview was conducted by The Guardian.
Literally with the failure, the centrist neoliberals who have failed in the face of right-wing populism.
It was her, it was Tony Blair, and it was the guy from Italy.
Whatever his name is.
So, let's ask these people who lost to right-wing populism how to beat right-wing populism.
Well, I mean, hindsight.
We have hindsight now.
And it's also funny to me how the Guardian tries to frame populism in general as a racist movement.
Like they say right-wing populism in this headline, but throughout the article they're generally just referring to the word populism and using it as sort of a negative buzzword.
Now, Populism, of course, just refers to appealing to the popular will of your, you know, state or your district or whatever.
And you can do that in several ways.
You can appeal to the racism, you know, of the general public, which totally exists.
Yeah.
Or you could refer to, like, the popular material interests, the popular economic interests of your area, your nation.
Um, and so that is of course what people like Bernie Sanders, uh, Jeremy Corbyn, uh, these leftist, you know, center-left, leftist figures in West politics could also be considered populists.
And so, I feel like this is a sly move on behalf of the Guardian.
How do we counter these populists, whether they're right-wing or otherwise?
Yeah, pretty clever.
And I think it's interesting that this, supposedly, specifically, is about right-wing nativists and right-wing racism, and they asked Hillary Clinton You know, how do we deal with this racist populism?
And she's like, oh, be racist.
Yeah, it's easy.
Okay.
Do you think that she just sometimes lays in bed at night and thinks like, man, if I could have just, you know, shown a little animosity towards Mexicans, I probably could have grabbed a few more votes.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm trying to think of like her statements on the campaign trail.
I feel like she was pro-Dream Act.
And yeah, maybe she thinks that's why she lost.
I don't know.
Yeah, exactly.
Or maybe she lost so she doesn't have to lose so she can just embrace it now.
It's also funny because in another piece of this interview, She was like lamenting the rise of the strongman, you know, like Bolsonaro in Brazil or Trump here and how, you know, some people, you know, freedom is hard and some people just want to be led and
That totally flies in the face of her campaign, which legit was about her being the strongest leader.
Like, no, Donald Trump is weak on economics.
He's weak on national security.
He's weak on foreign intervention.
You know, I am the strongest leader.
I am the most competent steward of this ship.
And it just didn't work for her because people don't like her.
Like, it's not rocket science.
Yeah, it's not difficult.
It's just... Man.
Like, how did she think this was an okay thing to say?
She's just baffling that she thought this was an okay thing to say.
But, I don't know.
Yeah when she was talking about running again or wanting to be like I I didn't think that was worth covering on the show it's just like of course Hillary Clinton is like never going away and her
Announced it wasn't an announcement, but it was her saying oh sure I'd still like to be president Was met with mostly like universal laughter and condemnation But this was just such a unique statement.
It was just like I Feel vindicated, you know, I feel vindicated in my Assertions or my I don't know.
My arguments that, yeah, she was of course just dragged to the left by Bernie Sanders.
These weren't her convictions.
When people pointed to her platform being close to Bernie Sanders, it was like, well, you know, look at her platform from 10 years ago.
Look at what she believed in 20 years ago.
Look at her platform from 4 years ago.
Yeah.
But this all honestly was worth it for the moment when you sent me this article and I said, holy shit, and then you sent me the music video for Dashpark Confessionals Vindicated.
And I was like, absolutely.
That's how I felt.
And I think you've probably listened to no other song since then, and it's only been that song on loop.
Well, I have listened to the other songs on the Spider-Man 2 soundtrack, including Hero by Chad Kroger featuring Josie Scott of Saliva.
It's been those two a lot.
Two bangers, yeah.
So I don't know, this is just like Hillary being Hillary, um, and being a right-wing politician, which she is.
But it's funny because I think that Americans are able to like, they step away from this comment, they can step away from this comment and be like, well she wasn't talking about American immigrants, she was talking about European immigrants.
That's what the right-wing's response to this was.
Exactly, yeah.
How come Europe gets borders but we don't?
Exactly.
How come you're like a borderless, stateless anarchist over here in America, Hillary?
But the whole thing is that the fact that she doesn't see all people as humans, that now that they're far away, it's a different problem, that speaks volumes to me.
Explain.
Say it again.
I didn't catch it.
Because it's not America, she's able to think of it differently.
She's like, yeah, but those immigrants are different immigrants.
Those are people that immigrated to Europe.
You think she likes Latin American immigrants?
Oh no, she doesn't like any immigrants, but she's confident in saying this about European immigrants.
People going to Europe.
She feels confident saying that about them because it's different.
But they're all people who are trying to seek something new, something different, something better.
But she doesn't see them as people.
It's different.
She's able to separate them.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, what I mean is like, it's not an American problem, so I can be more brash about it.
If this is an American problem, I have to be more calculated.
Yeah, I think she would be calculating for an American audience.
That's what I mean, yeah.
But I mean, you know, and plenty of people pointed out that it's directly her policies in North Africa that have caused this influx of refugees, and it's just astounding the level of Callousness, that she would turn around and say, no, we can't help you anymore.
So we can't help you.
We've totally destabilized your countries.
What more do you want us to do?
But not even we can help you, but they shouldn't help you either.
Yeah.
They should stop helping you too.
Yeah.
So this was also met with almost universal condemnation and laughter and a bunch of people just telling Hillary to shut the fuck up.
There was sort of a period of time where wanting Hillary to shut the fuck up was borderline misogyny.
There were accusations of misogyny.
Oh, what?
Former president?
Former secretary of state?
Former presidential candidate?
Not allowed to talk anymore because she's a woman?
Because we all love hearing from Jeb Bush and John Kasich all the time.
That went right out the window.
Everybody was like, okay, no, yeah, shut up.
So let's get in a few of those comments.
So, Robert Reich.
Another, another Reich.
We've had more than, we've had a few on this show.
Yeah.
Um, the sort of like social Democrat economist, Robert Reich has a pretty big following on, on Facebook posted, um, posted a little thing where he, you know, clapped back at Hillary for like blaming immigrants for the rise of the right wing.
Um, And some of his fans did not like that.
Some of his followers did not like him going after such a strong, you know, uh, anti-establishment woman like Hillary Clinton, uh, Lorraine M. Wheatley.
So somebody, somebody posted a, uh, uh, meme of Hillary Clinton as a Goldwater girl, uh, when she was 17, you know, supporter of Barry Goldwater, notoriously racist Republican.
And Lorraine replies, her family was Republican.
She was 17.
Shut the fuck up for Christ's sake.
I bet you masturbated as a young teen.
First of all, 17 is an old teen.
That's not a young teen.
It's kind of weird for Lorraine to raise the stakes like that.
That's almost as old of a teen as you can be.
Yeah, it's on the older end of the teen spectrum.
Lorraine's 37, so she's having a rough time with that number.
I bet you masturbated as a young teen.
Part of life, but nothing to try to call you a deviant.
Men like you are just nasty about smart, strong women.
So, like, campaigning for the Republican candidate who made his candidacy, who based his candidacy on an anti-civil rights platform?
It's just a rite of passage, much like touching your dong.
Yeah.
At the age of 17.
The rightful age of 17.
Oh man.
Also, like, the thing is, Hillary stopped associating herself directly and campaigning for racists soon after this?
Yeah, and the guy that she's replying to probably never stopped masturbating.
Probably never stopped masturbating.
That's a good point.
I mean, only... Well, I don't know, when was this posted?
This is... Two days ago.
So, I mean, this was posted two days ago.
This is, you know, mid-November.
So that means he probably only stopped masturbating for about two weeks.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I love that, yeah, like, not only are you endorsing Hillary Clinton's support for Barry Goldwater, also endorsing her comments about denying refugees asylum in your country, you're also coming out strong against masturbation.
This is just like a totally winning, totally winning platform for the Democrats in 2020.
I think they should lean into it.
I think we should all stop masturbating.
You know what, Lorraine?
You do not want to imagine a world where men were like, they just stopped masturbating.
You don't want that.
Cause it'd be, it'd be bad.
Yeah.
They start like seeking out, uh, Seeking out cam girls and reporting them to the IRS.
Yep, exactly.
Which is a wild thing.
Or they'd be like every single person that endorsed NoFap November, who I think are 100% garbage people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
You don't want that, Lorraine.
NoFap November.
People who subscribe to NoFap November, almost as bad as people who subscribe to Movember.
Growing out your mustache for November.
Close.
Must be a threat to your masculinity.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, dude.
Wait, is drinking off a threat to my masculinity too?
No, Hillary Clinton being strong enough to go out with Lauren Southern and try to sink refugee ships.
That's two strong women.
Sorry you can't handle it.
Catherine Marie on this same Robert Reich post.
This is a pretty good pretty good source.
Catherine Marie says Hillary Clinton served her country for many years.
I wish she'd take the hint however and stop weighing in in a way that is only going to be more polarizing because of who she is.
It's sad but true.
We need to make room for other voices and she is not beloved.
And I like this... Go ahead.
Yeah, it's difficult because there's parts of this I really fucking back.
But she needs to understand the reason people are mad about this comment is not because Hillary Clinton said it.
She's just a polarizing figure, dude.
This is a shitty comment from anybody.
And I guess it is even worse from her.
It's even worse from this, like, you know, liberal champion.
You're like, Abuela, no!
No, don't do it!
Yeah, and you can say that because no is the same thing in English or Spanish.
- Yeah, that was a perfect Spanish sentence. - Yeah.
Yeah, but yeah, it's only gonna be more, it's such a cop out, this comment.
Yeah.
Like, Hillary, you just... I love ya, but you just can't say anything anymore.
You can't say anything about, like, black people just obeying commands or, you know, refugees staying in their own goddamn shitholes.
Because people are just gonna take it wrong because of who you are.
Because of who you are, yeah.
And I'm sorry.
I love the idea of a 35-year-old white liberal feminist taking Hillary out back and shooting her while crying, you know?
It's not your fault.
Are you comparing it to a rabid dog?
It's a good move!
No, never!
Other things we take out back and shoot.
Yeah.
Cows?
Older politicians.
There you go.
If only.
Laura Gorman Thomas.
Excuse me.
Laura Gorman Thomas says, I voted for Hillary Clinton, as did a majority of Americans.
But it is time to stop.
For the love of God, just stop.
Midterms told us we need new faces and a new generation of idea.
I will always love you Hillary Clinton, but enough.
We need new, we need fresh blood.
Yeah, um.
This is another, pretty much the same line, um.
I love you, HRC, but you need to stop saying horrific, anti-human statements.
I love you, and I can't keep loving you if you keep showing your entire ass like this all the time.
Well, it was like watching Jordan play for the Wizards.
watching Jordan play for the Wizards.
You know, it was just rough.
It was like, "Listen, you're the best.
Don't get me wrong.
But you gotta let Kobe do his thing.
You gotta let the young bloods come up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kobe, of course, being Beto O'Rourke.
Exactly like Beto O'Rourke.
I'm testing out a theory.
I'm trying to push this theory.
Because this is something you see.
I've been seeing it.
Especially during, you know, these like... The halfway point between 2016 and 2020.
2016 and 2020.
You get a lot of libs who are like, no Hillary, I don't want Hillary to run again.
We need new blood.
We need a new face.
And this is of course a statement that is totally absent of any sort of political stance.
It's purely optical.
It's purely...
What's the phrase?
Like, strategist mindset?
Like, every, like, people are fucking watching way too much cable news.
People are, like, reading way too much, um, New York Times and Vox and whatever.
And they all fancy themselves political strategists.
Oh, we need a young person of color.
We need a young woman of color to run and that'll be good for the country.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter if that, uh, young person of color, young woman of color is Candace Owen.
You know, like.
Yeah, no substance.
You just need, it's like, Oh, my computer's been acting up.
Well, have you changed the wallpaper?
Try changing the wallpaper.
And.
I want, in my mind, this is like the liberal version of the rights free speech argument.
This is, we don't want to talk about the issues.
We don't want to talk about a given person's platform.
And how somebody like Joe Biden's platform or Cory Booker's platform differs strongly from somebody like Bernie Sanders' platform.
We don't want to talk about that.
Because there is a grassroots support of a platform like that of Bernie Sanders.
And there is a very different kind of support for these other platforms.
We don't want to address those.
No.
Much the same way the right wing, when they talk about free speech, we don't want to give the game away that free speech means I get to say that blacks have lower IQs.
Or that trans people are mentally ill and do not deserve to go to the bathroom in public.
We don't want to have that conversation.
Because it's drastically unpopular.
Yeah.
We don't want to have the conversation about Cory Booker taking payouts from the pharmaceutical industry.
Or Joe Biden's real creepy treatment of women.
Real creepy.
We don't want to have that conversation.
We just want a new face.
We want a fresh face.
It's starting fresh.
It's recasting.
It's not going to change the ratings.
You need a whole new direction.
You need a whole new everything.
You need something with substance.
And it's every one of these Lib voters who, instead of considering themselves part of the constituency or part of like quote the audience or whatever they're all trying to play casting director they're all trying to play strategist they're all and it's like no like your candidate if if you're this invested in electoral politics your candidate should be somebody who's actually like
You know, working towards material gains for you and the people around you, your communities.
Getting elected isn't the end game.
Getting elected is the first step.
Yeah.
It's arguably the least important step is getting elected because if you don't do anything after you're elected, then what was the point?
Yeah, it's like they're so caught up in aesthetics and presentation.
It's like, you know, if tomorrow, you know, Bernie was going to start wearing nothing but affliction shirts.
It doesn't matter because what he stands for is still there.
But they don't care about that.
That doesn't sway me at all.
I mean, I actually think Bernie should start wearing affliction shirts.
I think he would probably do much better.
Probably appeal to a broader base?
Probably do much better.
I mean, he's got the Midwest on pretty good lockdown, but still.
You can never have too many Midwest voters.
But you get what I'm saying though?
None of that stuff matters.
It doesn't matter how like fresh-faced or like new, you know, new look or new catchphrase they're going to have.
It matters in the total absence of conviction or, or like, what's the word?
I'm like charisma or, um, benefit of the doubt.
You know, like Obama had these sort of superficial assets.
You know, he spoke very well.
He's a good looking man.
He's tall.
He's got a good speaking voice.
He dressed nicely.
Like he had all these superficial assets, but he also was extremely charismatic.
Yeah.
And it wasn't just that he talked well.
It was that he talked in a way that resonated with people.
He didn't just communicate his ideas well, he communicated good ideas.
Yeah, there you go.
That's really well said.
And people, oh thank you.
You think I could run for president?
I'm hoping.
I'm hoping.
You're not old enough.
But, you know, we'll get there.
35?
35, yeah.
Alright, so moving on to the next segment in our neoliberal hellscape, we have an article from Politico titled, Quote, he's Barack Obama, but white.
Beto O'Rourke blows up the 2020 Democratic primary.
Holy shit.
So, when you sent me this article, at first I was like, oh man, this whole article is about how someone said that, and then really coming down on them because it's a really shitty thing to say.
But no, it's just an observation.
They're just quoting the enthusiasm.
People are so excited to finally have a white candidate to vote for.
Yeah.
I mean, because a lot of people, they really like that Obama guy.
I mean, most things about him.
They probably wish he was white.
Then they can really like him.
I mean, this is like liberal strategists posing as liberal strategists.
They're like, oh, cool.
A tall guy who happens to be white.
Holy shit, can he dunk?
Probably not, actually.
Does he smoke cigarettes?
So this article was, of course, incredible.
And it...
It's basically all about the enthusiasm behind Beto O'Rourke, a specific type of enthusiasm behind Beto O'Rourke, but we need to address the elephant in the room, the donkey in the room.
Oh hey!
Everybody wants Beto to run.
Everybody thinks Beto would be just such a good president because he's tall and charismatic and white.
And hey, he almost beat a Republican.
He got real close.
A real sharp Republican at that.
The most charismatic Republican out there.
Yeah, the headlines around this are amazing.
They're like Oh, this first sentence of this article is incredible.
Sparked by his narrow defeat in a Texas Senate race, Beto O'Rourke is scrambling the 2020 presidential primary field, freezing Democratic donors and potential campaign staffers in place as they await for words of his plans.
I'm so sure.
And the thing is, they're right.
Sparked by his narrow defeat, Did you see how close he lost?
He lost so close!
And this isn't to say that he didn't do extraordinarily well for a Democratic politician in Texas.
Yeah.
We do have to say he was running against literal human slime Ted Cruz.
Yeah.
In a race where he raised $70 million.
Yeah, he did pretty well.
But it's just hilarious that the Democrats are like, holy shit.
A loser who almost got a plurality of votes.
Sign me the fuck up.
All he had to do really to win that election was, you know, lament the loss of Kennedy thanks to Cruz's dad.
And he would have won.
Yeah, people just fucking love this guy.
I mean, there's a New Yorker article comparing his blogging to the work of Karl Nosgaard, who's like a best-selling, award-winning author who is...
He's a great author, but it's his fucking blogs.
He's chill.
He's a goddamn blogger.
He's blogging about how cool Taco Bell is.
He's blogging so lame that he can't even just have a website that wouldn't be called a blog where he just uploads things.
Yeah, it's so, so lame.
Sparked by Beto almost winning a game of one-on-one against Larry Bird.
Democratic hopefuls throw their weight behind him.
Even prior to O'Rourke's meteoric rise, many Democratic fundraisers had approached the large number of 2020 contenders with apprehension, fearful of committing early to one candidate.
But the prospect of a presidential bid by O'Rourke, whose karamatic Senate candidacy captured the party's imagination, has suddenly rewired the race.
O'Rourke, who raised a stunning $38 million in the third quarter of his race, is widely considered capable of raising millions of dollars quickly, according to interviews with multiple Democratic money bundlers and strategists, catapulting him into the upper echelons of the 2020 campaign.
It's so wild that we're like, oh shit, Wall Street might be hitting on this guy.
Big banks might like this guy.
Rich people are going to love this guy.
We should never be excited about whoever rich people are excited about.
No, this should be the biggest red flag you've ever seen.
Money bundlers excited about this guy to run.
McCall Watts, a San Antonio-based lawyer and major Democratic money bundler, said several donors and political operatives in Iowa, after hearing from other potential candidates in recent days, have called to ask whether O'Rourke is running, a sign of his impact in the first-in-the-nation caucus state.
Anytime O'Rourke's not running, people should be calling saying, Where's O'Rourke?
Why isn't he running?
I'm envisioning, you know, old-timey people calling bookies, you know?
Like, how's O'Rourke's arm feeling?
Are we gonna be good in the third quarter?
Other sports talk.
Can he air drum to Brown Sugar?
We've seen his Baba O'Reilly.
Man, it's fucking brutal.
They're not, yeah, doo-doo-doo.
He said, I can tell you, so this bundler, I can tell you that there has not been this kind of level of electric excitement about a candidate since Barack Obama ran in 2008.
I mean, I feel like a broken record, but Bernie fucking Sanders had raised a record number of small donations.
Yeah.
So He's purely talking about electric excitement from the donor class.
The class of people who are not interested in Medicare for All, the class of people who are not interested in the DREAM Act, the class of people who are like, Interested in maintaining Roe vs. Wade and maintaining gay marriage and maybe giving us a $15 minimum wage.
Maybe.
If that.
Just so we don't eat them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do we have here?
He's game changing, said Robert Wolfe, an investment banker who helped raise Wall Street money for Obama in 2008 God.
If he decides to run, he will be in the top five.
You can't deny the electricity and excitement around the guy.
I saw my- I saw one of my donors' heart beat twice when talking about Beto O'Rourke.
Yeah, this is like a satire article.
This is like the article you write to make fun of the Democratic Party.
Yeah.
Also, top 5?
Top 5 is not a very good chance for running for president.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I don't want a top 5 candidate.
That's not going to help us any.
Yeah.
I mean, Hillary was top 2.
And then, uh, yeah, Hillary was top two, exactly.
Um... Yeah, it's just a bunch of this.
It's just a bunch of, like, oh, Wall Street and, uh, bundlers, uh, hotel magnates love the guy!
Yeah.
So, yeah, that should be, um, an incredible red flag for anybody considering supporting Beto for a 2020 presidential candidacy, which you should not do.
It's a bad idea.
Especially right now.
Chill.
Like he's he's done he's done nothing.
He has nothing besides like this this random like you know run in Texas and the only reason why he was really I think notable was because he was running against Ted Cruz.
Yeah.
You know if it was any other state where he would have he probably would have won another state to be honest but it would have been a smaller state where it was like More purple.
More purple, exactly.
More blue.
Yeah.
But he has done nothing... The most notable thing he's done politically is sell merch.
You know, his... Yeah, he's held office for a while.
Like, three terms, right?
Yeah.
Three-term congressperson.
Yeah, three-term congressman, but it's like... Still, if he's been in Congress for three terms, and we haven't heard him, like, riling something up?
We haven't heard him, like, speaking out against something in Congress?
You know, why haven't we heard these things?
Well, and not only, the last... the last congressman who won the presidential election, uh, was a man named Andrew Garfield.
It's been a minute.
It's been a minute.
Uh, so, yeah.
This is a little bit of Beto's background.
I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he is for a $15 minimum wage and a progressive tax that we used to have in the 60s or 70s.
But here's a little more on his background.
On the city council, he was accused of conflicts of interest in 2006 for pushing an urban renewal plan involving his wealthy father-in-law, a multinational real estate investor once described as, quote, the richest man in El Paso.
See?
So he's one of us.
Beto's one of us.
A regular Joe.
He's just the son-in-law of the wealthiest man in your metropolitan hub.
In El Paso, that's a rich motherfucker right there.
You gotta have some major cash to be the richest man in El Paso.
Sick-ass Cadillac, big ol' bullhorns on the front.
As a member of Congress and an investor with an extensive portfolio, he was criticized for taking part in initial public stock offerings in Twitter and several other businesses, an ethics violation that he quickly remedied when it was brought to his attention.
This is all from the Houston Chronicle.
Along the way, his mother, who was his partner in several business ventures, ran a family furniture store that was targeted by the IRS in a $630,000 tax fraud case in 2010.
That's a mighty fine furniture store.
That's a pretty successful family furniture store that they get busted for not paying $630,000 in taxes.
See, one of a small business, small business owners.
Well, it's like you said, all that furniture is real wood.
Yeah, had to be real wood.
Had to be real wood.
Real wood.
No drugs in there.
Yeah.
So We're doing comments from the white, the white Obama thing.
This specific, like... The white Obama comparison is very interesting because as we've talked about on this show, um, Obama was an extremely charismatic person who ran on Fairly, extremely progressive ideas.
By no means socialist, but leaning more towards the Social Democrat platforms of yore.
democrat platforms of yore the fdr uh the fdr platform sort of and then once he became president just sort of allowed himself to be surrounded by uh wall street people military industrial people had no problem continuing the wars in afghanistan uh so
So when they call him a white Obama, when they call Beto O'Rourke a white Obama, I just take that to mean like an empty, charismatic vessel into which they can pour all their particular interests and influences.
Somebody who is good at being a politician, but For sale, at the same time.
Yeah.
You know.
Somebody who's good at being a politician, but won't be held back by, you know, their dark skin and other people's bigotry.
So Michael A. Van Allen had a post on Facebook, and this is an older black dude who posted, saying that someone is the quote, white Barack Obama flies in the face of white supremacy.
For decades I've heard of rising black stars being called the black version of a white star.
And that was fine because white was the gold standard.
But to say that a rising politician is the quote white Obama is acknowledging that the gold standard, at least in this case, is black.
Some say calling him the white Obama is not appropriate.
I think it's a violation of the white supremacy code they are grappling with.
I fucking love this comment.
We've come so far as a society that you can elect a white person now to president.
Who's as good as Obama.
Like you said, this comment is so pure and so optimistic, it's just like...
God I wish you were right.
I really wish you were on something here.
I really wish that, you know, we're to a point where now, we've had, we've had Barack Obama in office and, and now the standards set, this is what a black man can do.
I wish that was true, but what's really happening here is a white guy gets to do not nearly as well and be given the same amount of credit as Barack Obama, the black man.
It's like when a white guy dunks.
It's like, oh, but he can dunk though.
given the same amount of credit as as barack obama the black man you know it's like it's like it's like when a white guy dunks you know it's like oh i mean but he can dunk though like you see him dunk yeah yeah like he can dunk but i mean like vince carter you know puts through his legs when he dunks mid-game Like that's pretty cool.
Yeah, but he's like the next Vince Carter.
Yeah, it's almost like having a giant donor class of white people is the white affirmative action.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's just, it's not, it's so fucking unfair.
It's like so lame that all you gotta do is Be semi-progressive, or at least appear to be so, and be charismatic and handsome and young and white, and there you go.
And I mean, frankly, there's a lot of us out there.
Not yet.
I mean, like be Barack Obama for every for everything we fault Obama with like very accomplished person like the whole.
Like the whole thing about him, quote, just being a community organizer and then becoming president is like bullshit.
Everybody knows A, his background came from a single parent household.
Yeah.
Succeeded amazingly in school, went to Harvard, was the president of the Harvard Review, was a constitutional scholar, taught for 12 years, taught constitutional law for 12 years.
Dude worked and was extremely accomplished and Beto O'Rourke is tall and talks well.
Came from a billionaire, billionaire household.
Like, Barack published a book that, you know, got people excited and, you know, laid out some information and, you know, was inspiring.
Beto has a fucking blog about snowshoeing.
Like, that's not inspiring anybody.
It brings no humanity to him.
It's just a sick blog.
I would say that
Beto is inspiring to people like Beto has inspired a bunch of people Not nearly in the same way that Barack Obama inspired people They're inspired by him because they like stumbled upon a Facebook post about him or like you know saw a shirt not because like not because of like you know because I remember when I first discovered Barack Obama it was the Times article and
Do you remember that?
No.
There's a Times article that they wrote about him.
About this up-and-coming politician from Chicago.
And then the speech.
That's where I remember from.
The 2006 Democratic National Convention.
But none of that is happening with Beto.
He's doing one... He had one failed...
He broadcasted himself all over the internet.
People who wanted to see him talk could see him talk.
He's a good speaker, but that's not saying much.
It's a very superficial level of inspiration, I would say.
That's what I mean.
He uses Facebook Live and people get to watch that and feel connected to him.
But it's not inspiring.
I mean, I guess it is.
I guess it is.
It's inspiring, I think, in contrast to Trump.
Yeah.
You know?
In the same way that...
That's what I mean, the bar is so much lower.
Who called Trump a bitch?
What's her face?
Tulsi Gabbard?
Didn't she call him a bitch on Twitter?
And people are like, YES!
This is the moment we've been waiting for!
It's like that level of inspiring.
You don't have to really do much.
To inspire people.
Yeah.
Because we're at such a fucking low point.
Exactly, yeah.
You can be a real rebel by saying fuck.
Like Beto did.
Yeah, or like being a woman and calling the macho man a bitch.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, okay.
Felipe Alexandra Souza says about Beto O'Rourke, He is Obama, but with guts and keeping with his word.
That's why he won't run.
So then he's not Obama at all.
He's better than Obama.
So the only way Obama could have been better is if he didn't run.
I don't know what this is alluding to.
Yeah, right?
Like, did Obama promise not to run for president at some point?
I don't remember any of that.
I mean, the thing is, I want to be on his side because Obama didn't keep his word on a lot of stuff.
Yeah, I think this is a reference to the fact that Beto says he wasn't considering a presidential run.
Yeah.
And Obama broke his word, I guess, which is kind of a weird standard.
Like I wouldn't say any politician's quote word is like valuable.
Yeah.
I would just say no, he, he like didn't do what he said he was going to do on multiple fronts.
Like I, like, I don't.
I don't have like some, some weird sort of like old timey, uh, you know, handshakes all I need from a politician.
And if they go back on that, then I'm never voting.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, I expect a politician to lie to me, but like when they're, they're so far off base anyway.
Um, yeah, no, I like this.
No, he's better than Obama.
Well, we can only hope Felipe.
That's why he won't run.
Oh, it turns out Beto is suddenly considering a run for president in 2020.
So this is a Crooked Media article that you found.
Our favorite folks over at Crooked are our podcasting peers.
The real liberal champions over there.
Crooked Media, Pod Save America, you know them.
They can't stop winning.
They wrote, they had an article about... I think this is Dan Pfister, heir to the sink fortune.
Heir to the water fixture empire.
They wrote about all the reasons why we should be, the reason why he should be going.
Yeah, this article is like, Beto should run.
In fact, if he does, he will be a very strong candidate.
So there's a pretty good little snippet from it.
Third, this is on the list of reasons why we should be backing him, or the reasons why he could win.
Yeah, one of the first or second, one of the first reasons that he should run was because he, he was just, people were so enthusiastic about him and the establishment is like, no, he hasn't waited his turn.
And, uh, And he's going against the establishment by jumping the line, as if the establishment are the politicians and not the people who fund all of them, you know?
Yep.
Or the people.
Third, the DNC has played with the primary calendar multiple ways this century, and yet Iowa is still the kingmaker.
Victory in Iowa propelled Al Gore, John Kerry, Obama, and Hillary Clinton to nominations, and Beto seems tailor-made for the state.
I loved this passage so much.
So they're talking about the Democratic primaries, and they're referencing the fact that Iowa is first in the nation, so they pride themselves on that, that they're the first Democratic primary, and Winning there, often sort of like pre-Sages winning the candidacy for the Democratic Party.
And that's about all it pre-Sages.
Because if you look at those names again, Al Gore, John Kerry, Obama, and Hillary Clinton all won Iowa, and only one of them went on to win the general election.
Only one.
Some of them Iowa didn't even vote for in the general election.
Iowa only voted for Obama and Al Gore in the general elections after voting for all of those in the primary.
Yeah, it's wild.
It's telltale that the DNC set up a purple state as their first primary.
A state that doesn't even go for Democrats half the time.
At the end of the day, yeah.
But primaries are cool because that's how they work.
Not only that, but fucking Hillary Clinton won the 2016 Iowa primary by the skin of her teeth.
It was literally the closest Iowa primary in history.
She beat Bernie Sanders by .2 percentage points.
Yeah.
It was by a hair.
So... Why do we give a shit that Iowa predicts the Democratic nominee When they lose 80% of the time.
Yeah.
You're being generous?
Yeah.
It's such a stupid stat.
It's just a stupid way to observe this.
It's like, come on now.
You're really just, you're making, this is bullshit is what it is.
And it's the same, it's in the very next sentence.
Sort of illustrates this point.
The O'Rourke campaign in Texas was essentially an Iowa caucus campaign on a grander scale.
He visited every one of Texas's 254 counties.
Dot dot dot.
Um, this is just basically like reiterating another point that I saw.
Well, if a Democrat can do this well in Texas, he should win the country, you know, uh, easily, basically.
And it's, and it's like, Okay, maybe.
I mean, but... We shouldn't be appealing to one of the reddest states in the country to run the ostensibly left candidate in the general election.
For them to do decent there, he has to be pretty center.
Or just young and handsome and campaigning against two of the most reprehensible figures in American politics, Ted Cruz and Donald Trump.
And also, we so quickly forget the landscape of the country.
If he's going to lose in Texas, in my mind, he's probably going to lose everywhere.
Because, you know, flyover states.
There's a lot of those.
those.
There's a lot of, there's a lot of places that are, you know, I mean, because tech Texas, Texas has, has liberal counties, you know, and it's no, I mean, Beto did extremely and it's no, I mean, Beto did extremely well in Texas.
Like, you can't deny that.
And if he did that well in a red state, then it stands to reason that he would do well in a general election.
But I don't think that's the only reason to run a candidate.
That shouldn't be the be-all end-all reason.
Like, I think if Beto fucking ran in 2020, if he were the nominee, he would probably beat Trump.
Just like the contrast would be incredibly striking between him and Donald Trump.
But that's not the race I want to see.
That's not the argument I want to see made.
But he also would probably win because he's not going to stir it up enough to really let people realize that he's not going to be progressive enough.
To really, like, rile it up, you know?
People are just gonna, like, vote for him because he's handsome.
Well, I think a genuinely progressive candidate could totally beat Donald Trump.
I think Bernie Sanders would handily beat Donald Trump.
Yeah.
But I think Beto would bring out a lot of just the libs and the establishment and also beat Donald Trump.
Yeah.
But I also thought Hillary Clinton would beat Donald Trump, so... We all did.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying, we all did.
And then, um, the last sentence that I have highlighted here in this crooked media article... If you can win in Iowa, you can win the White House.
Psyche.
Yeah, yeah, anything's possible.
Yeah.
Like, you can do that, but Al Gore, John Kerry, and Hillary Clinton did not.
This is such a weird article.
And Beto just proved he has what it takes to win in Iowa.
Cool!
Who gives a fuck?
Let's move on to comments from this Crooked Media article.
This is one you got.
I love it.
Ethan Cashwell says, he reminds me of Lincoln.
I don't know what the fuck they're saying, but they're like, who's another president I like a lot that's not Obama?
Uh, he's saying that he's tall.
Is that what it is?
He doesn't even have a fucking beard!
Or a hat!
I think the reference to Lincoln is the fact that Lincoln lost two Senate races before running for president.
Maybe that's it, yeah.
So yeah, he reminds me of that loser Lincoln.
I think also because Beto never came out pro-slavery, so therefore he must be Lincoln.
This is a wild comment.
Yeah, this is a pretty lengthy comment that went everywhere, but the important part was Dorian Cantu said, I have never met a politician that surfs the waves of political necessity like Beto does.
What a chill description.
I've never met a politician that gets deep in that pipe like Beto.
That gets as pitted as Beto.
But if he wants to be president, he needs to be the president we need, not only the candidate we like.
Which I totally agree.
Like, sure yeah, he needs to be like a president that we actually need to make a difference.
I totally agree, that's the best quote from Dark Knight Rises.
Yeah.
Not only the candidate we like, I believe he has the potential in him to be one of the best presidents in history.
And I can't say that of any other candidate right now.
Fuck, dude.
That's so lame.
We're doomed.
We're so doomed as a country, as a society.
If Bernie Sanders can deliver a quarter of what he wants to, that's the best president of all time.
But apparently, you know, you can't say that about any other candidate right now.
Just these wild statements.
Wild statements.
Yeah.
I saw this guy go up and say, you know what, at the end of the day, we're all people and we should be treated with respect.
And I was like, holy shit, Daddy, Jesus, Lincoln.
Daddy, Jesus, Lincoln.
Take me.
Jesus, Lincoln, Daddy.
Yeah, we're fucked.
This is the opposition to Donald Trump.
We're just so lame.
He hasn't even come out for Medicare for All.
No, that's what I mean.
He hasn't done anything that's that progressive and that promising.
I wish, because wouldn't you, I would be so stoked if he didn't have a platform and policies I was really excited about, but that's not happening for me.
I, you know, if he were to be like, hey, listen, we really need to like stand for people and we need to like.
We need to do $15 minimum wage.
We need to do healthcare for all.
We need to, like, do prison reform.
We need to do all these things, but I'm not hearing any of that.
I'm just hearing, like, listen, Donald Trump sucks, and we need to stop that.
I mean, that might be his platform, but I don't think he believes it.
Like, if all these money bundlers and Wall Street folks are like salivating at him.
I don't believe he's going to be the one to initiate a transaction tax on Wall Street.
You know what I mean?
Not that that's my goal, but that would be like the most I would ever expect from a Democratic president to do and he's not even willing to do that.
I sincerely doubt it anyway.
I don't know if we have time.
Where are we at?
We're at like an hour 15.
Oh, probably not.
Hour 18.
Yeah, so Walmart wasn't responsible for the end of the world this week.
Turns out it's the libs.
Turns out it's the libs.
The liberals.
Thank you so much for listening.
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Okay, that's it for this week.
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Tell a friend, and bye.
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Okay, here we go.
I'm a pee-drinkin' man by Brother Sage.
Sure there's tea.
Juice and coffee.
Yet for this modern man, this body thrives on pee.
Sickness can't untouch me, nor can't eat.
Try again.
I'm a pee-drinking man, my brother Sage.
Sure there's tea, juice, and coffee.
Yet for this modern man, this body throws on pee.
Sickness cannot touch me, nor can aging.
The water of life is in its own divine timing.
It knows when to serve you the perfect blend of ultra-filtered nutrients.
The finest nectar of immortality.
No money can buy its urine for me.
A pee drinking man may not be the common of men, yet his youthful energy and appearance is attractive and sweet again and again.
So let it flow.
Drink as much as you can.
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