Jemel Robinson is killed by a trigger-happy police officer after subduing a shooting suspect at his bar. Facebook and Fox News are horrified that his race was reported. Kanye West donates $150k to Jemel's family, but gives no money to the victims of white genocide. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez can't afford an apartment in Washington DC and this is somehow a critique of socialism. Support the show at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Watch the video feed at http://Youtube.com/miniondeathcult
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to get yourself.
Oh, they're in Bartholstein.
Stay tuned.
Okay, hi, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
We're all responsible in our own ways.
And we're also documenting it.
Mm-hmm.
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Taking notes.
Okay, so we have a lot to get to tonight.
We're gonna just jump right in to the episode.
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I think that everyone should actually listen to this episode at their Thanksgiving gathering.
Just like old time days.
You know, just huddle the family around the YouTube or the old iPod and just listen to this episode.
The warm glow of the album artwork.
You know, it will start a conversation.
And that way Tony gets to be present at a Thanksgiving this year.
Yep, because I will not be attending Thanksgiving with the fam.
And this is the first year I didn't make plans ahead to like get out of it.
So yeah, I told everyone I'm out of town and I am not.
I am in town.
Mm-hmm.
So I think I'm just gonna, like, chill at home and... Listen to this episode.
Listen to this episode and get really high and just eat a Tofurkey by myself.
Just a whole Tofurkey by myself.
With all the fixin's.
California Thanksgiving, right there.
That's right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
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Thank you to everybody who supports the show.
Okay, so we as usual have a pretty depressing topic up top and that is That is the shooting of Jamel Robertson who was a security guard at a bar in Illinois and
He was able to stop another shooting until the cops got there, uh, to shoot him.
We've probably all heard this story.
This used to be a joke that we'd make.
You know, what's going to happen next?
And this keeps on happening.
Every single time we have these scenarios, we keep on saying, there's no way, what's going to happen next is this.
Like, we never thought Philando would happen.
That was wild to us.
You know?
And then this is happening, where he's literally, you know, we've said it time and time again, he's the good guy with a gun, stopping a bad guy with a gun, only to be shot by a worse guy with a gun.
Yeah the writers are really gonna have to like dial it back because this stuff's just not believable anymore like uh it's it's really like stressing our suspension of disbelief in this plot line yeah you know because because yeah we had a uh concealed carry dude philando castile telling the cop i have a gun on me legally just here's my wallet i'll show you bam yeah it's gets killed uh we have a guy in his own apartment
Botham Jean gets broken into by a cop and then killed for daring to be in his own apartment.
And yeah, now this.
Hero.
Absolute hero.
Jamel Robertson.
Stopping a shooting.
Putting his own life on the line for less than half of what cops make.
Oh, way less, yeah.
Apprehending a suspect without killing him.
Was holding this suspect at gunpoint.
You said, without killing him.
Gets shot.
Gets shot by a fucking cowboy cop running in, not knowing the situation.
Guns blazing.
So this Yahoo News, um, I mean this is literally like the good guy with a gun.
Yeah.
Who's the only detriment to a bad guy with a gun.
Um.
This is like the NRA fantasy.
This is the perfect NRA fantasy.
Well, it's almost perfect.
It's almost perfect.
Except for, you know, like they, they wish you would have maybe been a, like a. A defensible skin color.
Exactly.
Someone, someone who doesn't, you know, you know, rap maybe.
Uh, like that's what they wanted, but this is like.
Somebody who doesn't like play music for their church.
Exactly.
You know?
Yeah.
It's too, uh, it's too flashy.
Yeah, someone who isn't busy, you know, making sure that all the kids in the schools are fed.
Including his own, his own nine-month-old son, that he was working extra shifts to pay for Chris.
This is like fucking... Yeah.
This is like... This probably isn't an appropriate phrase, but this is like laughably heartbreaking.
Yeah, it's... It's like absurd how, how, uh, how miserable this is, this situation is.
It's as bad as you could make up.
It's that bad.
And that's what I'm saying.
The writer's room is getting a little too saccharine for my taste.
A little too heavy handed, you know?
Yeah, this is a good guy with a gun stopping a bad guy with a gun, and then the cops come and stop the good guy with a gun.
Stop forever, you know?
So, uh, obviously everyone, almost everyone is outraged about this, but because, um...
We're Minion Death Cult and we specifically seek out the worst parts of humanity and the worst parts of the internet.
We did not have a problem finding terrible takes on this.
But before we get to that, I want to highlight what actually happened and how the police have responded to what they fucking did to this guy and his family.
So this Yahoo News headline kind of says it all.
Police suggest security guard Hero to blame for his own death.
Because the cop's official statement now is that the killer cop in question told him, told Jamel, to drop his gun several times.
Repeatedly, I think is the word they used.
Repeatedly, yep.
And then opened fire when he just didn't drop the gun.
They don't even say that he pointed the gun at them.
No.
They just say he refused to follow the command.
They just said he wasn't listening.
Now, if you read any of the other witness statements, Any of them.
Each one more opposing to what we just heard than the next.
The statements from the witnesses are incredibly damning to the police force.
I had to restart my computer, so I'm just pulling up the exact quotes here.
"Jakia Woods lives in a house adjacent to Manny's parking lot." This is from a new NPR article.
She said officers already on the scene had asked Roberson to release the suspect, and Roberson was complying when another officer came through the bar's back door.
Right there.
He's one of us.
He's one of us.
He's a security guard.
of him the officer comes flying out this door gun up woods said tuesday afternoon while standing on her porch he says get on the ground and before he says ground he fires the first shot right there everybody is screaming and hollering she said even the officers were screaming and hollering he's one of us he's one of us he's a security guard
he works here witness adam harris told wgn tv he saw the same thing Everybody is screaming out he's a security guard.
Just a hellish scene.
Can you imagine witnessing this?
How could you feel safe?
Never.
And it's not reported in this article, but I have a quote here from Fox News.
This is a quote from Fox News.
One second.
Another security guard at the tavern said the officer jumped onto the bar and waved an assault rifle before running outside and fatally shooting the guard.
So... This cop jumped up on the bar inside the tavern like fucking Scarface.
Waving an assault rifle, looking for somebody to shoot.
So... wild.
And right here... Where is it?
The surviving guard told him, the lawyer representing the family, told him that the officer pointed a gun at him until he screamed at him that he was a security guard.
Uh...
So it's not mentioned in the NPR article, but I'm assuming the gun that was used to kill Jamel was a assault rifle.
I'm assuming so, yeah.
Wasn't a, you know, a rifle.
Like, just came out like he was SWAT, like he was a cool-ass operator in the Middle East.
It was just his time to shine.
Yeah.
He was like hoping, like, I hope they have security footage in here.
So they can see how awesome I looked when I jumped on the fucking bar.
He's like holding up his rifle to the camera so that it captures the engraving on the muzzle that says you're fucked.
Yep.
I'll tell you, as somebody who's been security at a bar, when the cops come they don't give a fuck.
What do you mean they don't give a fuck about what?
If you're security or not.
They just want to bust up everybody.
I've had moments where they've had my back, I guess, which sucks.
But most times they don't give a fuck.
They hate everyone and they want everyone to be in trouble.
You know?
I've been punched in the face multiple times and I knew I couldn't punch him back in that exact moment.
And all I cared about was whether I punched somebody.
And I'm like, look at my face, man.
Look at my face.
Don't worry about what I did.
I didn't do anything.
They just want everyone in trouble.
So, let's get into comments here.
I mean, this is obviously, like, awful.
Our hearts go out to the family of Jamel Robertson.
Like, that's such a corny thing to say.
What else can we say about it?
Spencer60 has something else to say about it.
You want to read this one, Tony?
Spencer60 says, Just what can the NRA do?
So, the name of this article was like, NRA silent about Jemele Robertson's killing.
Where are they to protect this law-abiding gun owner, basically.
That was the article on Yahoo, I think?
No, I don't think that's what that was.
I don't remember the NRA thing.
Yeah.
Oh, we're talking about different articles then.
It was, the narrative of the good guy with the gun doesn't apply when it's a black man.
Oh.
That was the article.
Oh, it was just from the main article that just said, uh, I don't think that's from, I think it's just from the one that just said, um, white officer kills black security guard.
They just brought the NRA into themselves.
Okay, well there were articles about the NRA's lack of support.
This one's not even from that.
This one's just from a random article.
They brought the NRA in themselves completely independently.
They just did it.
Because that's just where it goes.
Well, somebody else, I'm sure, because they're replying to somebody.
So somebody else probably said, where's the NRA support?
Just in that comment section.
Uh, no, I think this was just... But he's saying just, what can the NRA do?
So he's responding to somebody else who brought up the NRA.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know who he's responding to.
That's right.
Yeah, but so he's just saying like kind of pities NRA, right?
So what can NRA do?
They represent gun owners, not police or security officers, and they have funded legal support for plenty of black gun owners over the years.
Okay, so let me stop you there.
Go ahead.
Yeah, I have no evidence of that.
I've never seen anything about... I don't think they ever came out for Philando.
They never came out for Philando.
I don't know of any cases where they would because they would be touting those things at this moment if they were smart.
Literally, like, the girl from, uh...
The TPUSA Diaper Girl, Caitlin Bennett, I think her name is.
She runs Liberty Hangout.
They posted about this shooting.
And didn't editorialize necessarily, but it's clear that they are actually far more libertarian than most of the supposed, like, bootlicking libertarians that are out there, you know?
And the comment section for that Liberty Hangout was wild.
It was basically like, uh, if this dude's friends and families don't kill this cop, they're pussies.
Yeah, it was pretty intense.
Yeah, it was interesting.
Yeah, NRA hasn't said anything about this, but this comment defending the NRA, they represent gun owners, not police or security officers.
Actually, the NRA literally trains and certifies law enforcement instructors.
They are heavily involved with With law enforcement in this country, they give discounts to cops.
Well, everyone should give discounts to cops.
It's weird, even cops don't ask for that.
All cops are bargain hunters.
No, I just wanted to say, even cops don't even ask for that.
At the bike shop, for instance.
No, they don't even ask for that.
Military does all the time.
But cops don't ask for that, because I don't think they want to bring that into it, necessarily.
Yeah.
I will get people that say, first responders.
Well, they don't want to be targeted by a Black Lives Matter person like you.
Totally, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe they just want to ask me.
That would make some sense.
But yeah, I've never... Everyone should give discounts to cops, but that means I just don't let them pay for anything.
Don't let him buy anything, just have him leave.
You get the no service discount.
Yep.
Yeah.
Finish the last half of this comment, or the last part of this comment.
This is another case of blue on blue shootings.
Amazing.
What?
They happen a lot when cops are trained to think that anyone with a gun is a bad guy.
So now the security has been upgraded to blue.
Yeah, he got promoted from black to blue.
From black to blue.
And like I said, I don't think the blue would be too stoked for that.
Isn't that Black Cop Instagram account you've started following called Black and Blue?
Yeah, Black and Blue, exactly.
No, it's not.
It's called, like, Cops of Colors.
I think so, yeah.
It should be called Black and Blue because they take such a beating from the leftist activists.
That's going to be my new account that I start.
That along with Thick Blue Line.
Thick Blue Line.
T-H-I-C-C.
Tony has a real problematic thirst for sexy cop lady Instagrams.
I have found a new fascination with this.
There's a bunch of like, believe it or not, but this cop's actually hot under the uniform.
And I like both the men and the women, but I'm probably going to start a new feed called Thick Blue Lives.
Yeah.
Thirst responders.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
That way we can cover the EMTs and such.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
They all deserve it.
They all deserve the recognition.
What's crazy is about this like, this is just another case of blue on blue crime.
Like, I think there's an actual color for security guards.
I think they're like yellow or something.
I think they're, you know, cause like everybody's trying to get on, get in on like the, the, the valor, you know?
And like, or no, no, no.
Yellow is like x-ray technicians.
It's radiologists.
I'm not even joking.
I saw that shirt.
Have you seen the flag though with one yellow stripe?
Because I want that one.
Yeah, that's what it is.
It's like a vertical flag with a yellow stripe and it's got like the nuclear radiation warning.
That's sick.
Radiology lives matter.
Yes, yes.
Hey, there's only, it's a thin piece of, it's a thin piece of lead that protects me from skin cancer, you know?
I stand in the fire line every day to make sure we get your I stand on the front lines, and by that I mean this red line that demarcates the distance that the radiation can travel.
We're gonna get docs and never get a good x-ray again.
We're gonna get false diagnoses all the time.
Just get the bad x-rays.
Like the Z-rays.
Kind of penetrate anyways.
Yeah.
And yeah, this happens a lot when cops are trained to think of anyone with a gun as a bad guy.
Who is training these cops?
Oh yeah, it's the NRA.
Okay, this is your comment.
Cool.
Jay Reams.
We haven't looked into it, but we think that that's an accurate username.
We feel fairly confident that it's not a misnomer.
We think Jay does that.
Good for Jay.
Good for Jay.
This is a common theme.
The media needs to stop reporting color.
If it is something to judge by, why is it mentioned- If it isn't something- If it isn't something to judge by, Why is it mentioned in every event like this?
Apparently they want color to matter.
Why are they pushing this color thing?
It's not a big deal.
Why are they acting like racism exists if it doesn't exist?
It was coincidental that these black men are killed by white cops.
It's not important.
I love this, like, if it isn't something to judge by, why is it mentioned at every event like this?
So he, so the argument is that the left is saying, color shouldn't matter.
Oh my god, that's exactly what's happening.
And he's saying, well if it shouldn't matter, then it doesn't matter at all, and why are you reporting on it?
Look, like, I don't like black people for the same reason you guys like talking about the fact that a black man was killed.
You know, like, it's obviously important, we gotta talk about it.
You gotta talk about it.
You're talking about it, let me talk about it.
It's like, uh, yeah, exactly.
Why can't I talk about it?
If it's, you know, if it, but...
Apparently they want color to matter.
Yeah.
So his argument is that, like, if you keep reporting on white cops shooting black people, they're gonna think that's their job.
They're gonna think that black people are the people that get shot.
And so that's who they shoot.
It's not their fault.
They're just following what you're telling them to happen.
You're fueling racism.
You're doing this to yourself.
Weird comment.
Yeah.
Fuckin' wild.
Like, the whole argument, the whole reason for reporting this, is that it does happen.
It's exactly that.
Is that it does happen at a disproportionate... At an alarming rate.
Yeah.
Come on!
The leftist argument against racism isn't that racism is bad, therefore it doesn't exist.
Yeah.
It's that look at what keeps on happening.
Okay.
Uh, do you want me to read this one since it's so small?
Yeah, please.
Oh, this is so good, though.
Let me comment, uh, says whether, oh, this is a blue star boy.
So this is a Fox news.
Yeah.
It's Fox news.
Let me comment says whether you are a security guard or a citizen carrying concealed one law.
And for once law enforcement arrives, you follow their instructions to 80.
If they tell you to drop the weapon, it should hit the ground before they finish the command.
So, so if they tell you to drop the weapon, you should have dropped the weapon before they say the word weapon.
Yes.
When I would get confused, drop the drop, drop the attitude.
Like, I don't know what they're going to say.
I need to follow this command.
So I need to hear the rest of it.
Well, it's like, you know, on time is five minutes early.
So like, you better drop that, cause he's gonna be punctual for sure.
You need to look professional, and have dropped the weapon before your appointment with the killer cop.
See he didn't necessarily like, he started to pull the trigger before he said ground, but like he finished as ground was finished.
So like he released it at that point, so you should have been way ahead of that.
Um, yeah, this is crazy.
You know, the art, the, the, this comment is basically like, you know, cops are crazy, right?
Yeah.
You know, cops are just like itching to kill you.
You do know this.
You should be aware of this.
If they tell you to drop the weapon, it should hit like... I'm just picturing a cop breaking down your front door and saying, RIGHT HAND GREEN!
And you're like, oh shit, what?
This is it's it's this is like it sounds like a crazy comment it sounds like a weird like wild comment but it's not this is like when you live in an authoritarian kind of police state like America this is the logic behind it yeah the logic is like you need to react with superhuman ability in order not to be shot by us
You need to react better than the cops in order not to be shot.
This is an argument that's been made plenty of times.
As a person, you know, I'm not a person of color, but like as a person of color, you have to maintain a level of composure that the police officer does not have to maintain.
It's like, I mean, to be an aware person of color in America is to be in a constant state of rage. - Yeah.
To be an aware person of color in America is to always be terrified of the cops.
Is what they're saying, but they're not saying it the same way I am.
Yeah.
I'm waiting for the comment that says like, you know you wouldn't have died if you were wearing body armor.
You do know that you should not go outside without wearing body armor because there are cops out there.
Yeah.
You do know that, right?
I mean, their argument is like, you're not afraid enough of cops.
Yeah.
But then once, once one, once one black man gets shot wearing body armor, they're going to start only carrying armor-piercing rounds.
Armor-piercing rounds, totally.
Yeah.
Well, I know he was, I know he was fine, but what if he wasn't fine?
Um well they'll just like start knifing unarmed black men yeah because you could like push it slowly through the the armor bayonets uh yeah I mean like you have to like I mean my mind it's it was it was a white guy but my mind harkens back to that
seen in that hallway with that cop who literally did have i think it was year fucked engraved on his rifle on hid the rifle that he used on the job
Giving that guy that poor fucking guy whose name I don't remember conflicting commands in that hallway of that of that hotel or motel because they thought he was somebody else they thought he was a shooter that they were trying and just literally like telling him crawl no hands up hands up and crawl toward me how does somebody do that?
Well, I don't know, but I know how somebody gets shot.
It's by not obeying those totally conflicting and contradictory commands.
He literally wanted them to do the worm tortum.
That was the goal.
Like, yeah.
Put your leg over your head and somersault toward me.
Alright, last part of this comment.
That said, so after all this terrible shit I just said about a man who was killed for being literally a hero.
For saving lives.
That said, condolences to the family and friends of Jamel Roberson.
Kudos to Kanye West.
So this is like leading to the next part of this episode about Kanye West donating money to the family of Jamel Roberson.
Kudos to Kanye West and prayers to the officer who has to live with a decision he cannot take back.
And, like, yes, let's all take this time to be really sad for the guy who killed Jamel Robertson, who seemed, like, really eager to kill somebody and got his wish.
And it's just really sad that it happened to be a good guy, you know?
Yeah.
Better luck next time, you know?
Maybe next time you do this, it'll be, uh... It'll pan out a little more optically, because you're gonna get another chance to do this.
Because you're gonna remain a cop.
Yeah.
You're gonna get another cop job.
And it is really sad, because, like, you know, Jamel was, like...
Jamal is free now.
He's untroubled by the pains and tragedies of this earth.
This officer, whose name we're not allowed to know, has to live with his decision.
Not only that, but now he's been freed from the shackles of the democratic plantation.
Free at last.
Free at last.
Awful, awful stuff.
Okay, so same topic but a different story.
Kanye West, our favorite non-political rapper, donated $150,000 to the family of Jemele Robertson via their GoFundMe.
Via GoFundMe, yeah.
And this headline from Fox News says Kanye West donates $150G to family of black security guard killed by white officer.
And surprisingly, the commentariat did not take kindly to this headline.
Yeah, why is any of that important?
Come on now, this is about Kanye West.
Yeah.
This was my favorite comment about this on Facebook.
Kimberly Estep, particularly mad, like dying mad about this comment, about this headline rather.
Thank you Black Kanye for donating money to the black security guard unfortunately killed by the white officer covered by white Nicole Darrah of Fox News, parentheses keeping it racist, from the white chick Parentheses sick of the media headlines that use race for clickbait Can we not be colorblind like the military?
Our media I don't know our media needs to go to boot camp I Know I think that that's like her her sign-off.
That's her call.
Y'all need to go to boot camp I need to go to boot camp.
I need to go to boot camp.
Oh man.
Yeah, colorblind like the military.
Interesting.
What is that?
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure that racism is actually so pretty rampant in the military.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that it's come out that training officers post 9-11 were explicitly racist.
Yeah.
Very.
I also like the, covered by white Nicole Darrah of Fox News, keeping it racist.
When keeping it racist goes wrong.
Because no one's more racist to racist white people as white people who acknowledge that racism exists.
Yeah, no, they're the race traitors.
Wait, wait, hold on.
You're saying that racism exists.
I'm not even saying that.
I'm just saying I don't like black people.
You're the one being racist.
Yeah, I like that.
Don't ever talk about race because it doesn't matter.
This is your comment.
You want to read this?
Oh, this is from StealYourFace, which is a great profile name.
In the Fox News comment section.
First comment, number one comment.
That's racist.
How about, um, how about all the innocent whites killed by blacks every single day?
Every single day?
You guys know the epidemic of whites just being mowed down by blacks?
Yeah.
This comment was all throughout it.
Yeah.
Every other comment was like, but what about all the white cops who are massacred by black assassins?
I only, I've never, this is not in the news.
Well, yeah, cause it's not happening.
It happened like once, like three years ago.
I'm sure it's happened.
I'm sure it's happened.
I think the cop was Asian, too.
Yeah, I remember that, yeah.
And I think they really think that every day there's just... black people are just killing all the people.
If black people aren't murdering white people at an alarming rate, why am I always tweeting about white genocide?
What's going on?
Why am I doing that if not for these statistics that I read on Stormfront.com?
If whites aren't getting murdered, then why are our percentages dropping?
If whites aren't getting murdered, why are there so many mixed-race kids?
What is that about?
They wouldn't be mixed if there was a white man to do the job there.
Totally.
I also just like this idea of like, why are we reporting on color?
Yeah.
Why does it have to, there were so many comments that were like, why does it have to be white cop kills a black security guard?
Why can't it just be cop kills security guard?
And my response to that is, why do we have to say he's a cop?
Yeah.
What are you trying to do?
Bait.
You know, police bait.
All this stuff.
Like, why does it matter that he was a cop?
Why does it matter that he was a cop killing an unarmed... Or, well, he was armed in this.
He was a good guy with a gun.
But why does it matter that he was a cop?
It was just another human... Can't we all just be human?
Yeah.
Human murdered a human.
Why do we have to say that he was murdered?
A conscious being murdered and snuffed out the life of another conscious being.
Details are not important here.
Why does it have to say killed?
Why is that important?
Yeah, why can't it just be liberated?
Human has fellow interaction with other human.
More on E12.
Ends poorly for one of said human.
Yeah, okay.
So let's move on to the next topic tonight.
And this is of course...
Jim Acosta getting banned, getting IRL banned from the message board that is the White House press conference room.
You mean revolutionary, activist, warrior, champion of rights Jim Acosta?
Yeah.
Okay.
And this is a story that I didn't really care about until it came out that Fox News was supporting CNN's lawsuit against the White House because I think that's really funny.
Yeah.
I think it's really funny mostly because of how like The reaction from Fox News viewers who spend all day watching this corporate media giant and are convinced that another corporate media giant is the enemy of the people.
It's really funny to me, but I kind of want to say up top, this probably sounds like flip or glib to some listeners.
I don't give a shit about Jim Acosta.
I know that the argument against his ouster or against the commandeering of his press pass is about the principle.
The principle of the freedom of the press and all that.
But I would say that that principle has been eroded long ago just by virtue of CNN and Fox News and MSNBC being these major Conglomerates, corporately owned, who this all probably sounds cliche, do not give a shit about you.
Do not give a shit about me.
Our interests are not relevant here.
No, it's not Glenn Greenwald getting banned from the White House press room.
He's never been allowed in there as far as I can tell.
So it's hard for me to shed tears over a talking head stuffed shirt who literally only exists to say, how dare you, Trump?
How dare you use a contraction in your presidential statement?
This is completely unpredictable.
This administration and previous administrations are literally killing the world.
We're going to die.
We're going to burn to death.
Or if not us, then our children are going to cook to death.
Boil in an acidic seawater because of the activities of this administration, previous administrations, and CNN is reporting about how Trump's tie blew over his shoulder or something.
That there was tape on the back of it.
Yeah, so I honestly almost couldn't care less.
It's the same thing with Jeff Sessions being fired by Trump.
Yes, it represents an obstruction of justice.
It's not the first time Trump has obstructed justice.
If the FBI were really going to do anything about this supposed obstruction of justice, they already had all the material they needed.
People protested Jeff Sessions firing by Marching in the streets with signs saying we respect the rule of law.
Yep.
Which is an insane thing to do when you're trying to protest a crypto-fascist authoritarian president.
It's like a sweet sentiment but it's not.
No it's not a sweet sentiment.
I'm saying like it's like it's like cute but it's like not.
If he's making the law then what's the point?
Protesting on behalf of the rule of law is the biggest nerd shit I've ever heard.
It's lame.
It's more nerdy than literally starting the Proud Boys to street fight on behalf of the President of the United States.
It's worse than that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So if you're going to protest something, protest the heat death of this ball that we're on.
It's happening right now.
Like I said, we're touting Akasa as this hero.
Which is wild, because he's doing the bare minimum.
Like, calling out Trump for being not the best is what he's doing.
He's not even really... No one's really holding the fire to him.
They're just saying, hey, you know you said this thing, and then it turns out to be this other thing, right?
They're barely doing that.
And so we're giving him this huge credit for doing the bare minimum.
It's like, that's cool.
Good job.
Like, they're legit only interested in getting a more photogenic and charismatic administrator of the Imperial War Machine.
Like, I'm laughing at myself because I sound so, you know, un-fun about this shit.
But it's the truth.
It's the truth.
What GE fucking owns NBC, like, the people who make the planes and bombs that kill civilians overseas.
Anyway...
All right, so Fox News signed on to CNN's lawsuit against the White House and people are shocked that Fox News would care about having access to the White House.
People are like, oh my god, crazy how Fox News signed on to defend another corporate entity's ability to have cameras on the president.
They also, I mean, what's all the Fox people's proudest thing is that they are fair.
They're fair and on balance, right?
And so they're like, why are they not siding with their president?
Well, because the president himself is fair and balanced.
He wouldn't be if it wasn't fair, yeah.
Why would they put their own interests as journalism?
Heavy quotes.
Yeah, that's right.
Scary quotes.
I said it.
See, you gotta watch the YouTube to get those quotes.
Why would journalism protect their rights to do journalism against the White House?
They should be just abiding to the White House.
Yeah.
They should know that CNN is bad and no other administration would possibly revoke press credentials unless the person in question was bad.
Yeah.
So lame.
Okay let's get into comments.
So MeltTheSnowflakes, their username, I think on Breitbart, whose icon is a photoshop of Hillary Clinton with like a giant screeching mouth.
Mouth I gape.
Reminds me of like flash art of like or like that Nickelodeon show with the like blue blob guy whose mouth is just like a giant like black hole that opens and closes or whatever.
That's what she looks like.
So melt the snowflakes who is like you know totally like Unemotional troll.
Just, like, poking the ribs of snowflakes everywhere.
Shitposting.
Just a real truth torch?
Not even a truth torch, but, like, knowing how to... knowing how to poke at these liberals to make them freak out.
You know?
Melting the snowflakes left and right.
Melt the snowflakes says, I AM TOTALLY DONE WITH FAUX NEWS!
MAGA CAG!
I'm sorry, MAGA CAG?
I'm not familiar with MAGA CAG.
Go ahead.
Yeah, so MAGA, of course we all know.
Make America Great Again.
CAG is the postscript for 2020.
Keep America Great.
Oh, MAGA CAG.
MAGA CAG.
That sounds great.
That's real palatable.
CAG is particularly palatable.
It's only one syllable, which is even more efficient than MAGA.
MAGA CAG.
MAGA CAG.
I love how they all of a sudden embrace faux news.
Yeah.
Which is like that lame liberal poke at Fox News.
Yeah.
It's cool because there's an X in it.
So it looks like Fox News.
It's like they're using it against themselves.
It's beautiful.
On CNN, Tim Hart, CNN Facebook comment section, Tim Hart says, the judge, so the judge who ruled that Jim Acosta had to get his press credentials, you know, reinstated or whatever.
The judge is saying, so this is a person who is against the judge.
It's kind of hard to tell this comment.
This is a person arguing against the judge's decision.
The judge is saying that if a Nazi journalist was kicked out by the White House, then the White House would be wrong to kick them out.
That's what he's saying.
That's what he's saying.
So taking a sharp turn from the First Amendment, no actually Nazis like deserve to come into your house and talk about Nazism.
And you can't kick them out.
You can't kick them out, like you have to pay them to speak at your school because that's the First Amendment and that's free speech.
Now it's this judge is bad because he's granting free speech hypothetically to Nazis.
Jim Acosta, probably a Democrat, definitely a Democrat.
More than likely.
Therefore, you know the Democrat, you know the Nazis were Democrats.
Nazis were Democrats.
I mean, at the very least, he's the son of the Confederates.
So, I just thought that this comment was interesting, because Tim Hart's not tapped into the whole Nazis deserve, like, your time and attention argument on the right wing.
Nazis shut down Nazis.
But also, yeah, it's...
But the Nazis are the left.
Kathy Lies says... But it's Kathy Lies with two S's?
So it's Kathy Lie SS?
It's probably a Nazi here.
Kathy says, When I was told I couldn't fire a part-time employee for stealing as not enough proof, I just stopped scheduling them.
When they complained above me, I told my boss, you said I couldn't fire the weasel.
You never said I had to put him on the schedule each week.
So Crybaby Jimmy, that's Jim Acosta, can be reinstated, but doesn't mean he has to be called on.
Wow, Kathy, you're a real piece of shit.
Like, I like how in doing this really weasel-y thing, I'm not going to fire you, I'm just going to stop scheduling you, I'm not even going to tell you what I'm doing, I'm just going to do it.
Calls that person a weasel.
So gross.
I just realized, this is literally the office space.
thing, the Milton office space solution.
Like, we're not going to fire him because that's like an unnecessary confrontation in the office.
We're just going to stop paying him.
And you see what happens.
Yeah, Kathy, you're a piece of shit.
I...
This employee was definitely stealing.
I had no proof.
I had no proof, but I was convinced that they were stealing because they had that look about them.
You know, they had that thief look to them.
And then their own boss is like, hey, you fucked up by not scheduling this person.
They're putting their own job on the line in order to spite this person that they are convinced is stealing.
I have this fantasy where the person who Kathy Lies was the manager of, who they stopped scheduling, is a fan of the show, listens to the show, and is hearing about how Kathy Lies did this to them, and they are not crazy.
Kathy really was trying to fuck you over.
Yeah, if this resulted in a lawsuit against Kathy Lies, we are totally willing to take What do you call it?
Breach of iTunes practices for this episode?
Absolutely.
Just take it down, you know?
If it wins Cathy's employees any sort of money.
Yeah, they can actually play this video in court for them.
That'd be great.
That'd be tight.
Hey, hey, authority.
Oh, yeah.
Take two from me.
It's doubles.
And you have to play it because it's evidence.
That's right.
Oh, man.
Also, the whole, you have to listen.
What managers say is what happens.
Like, fuck that.
Wait, which part?
What do you mean?
Basically, that's what he's saying.
So Crybaby Jimmy can be reinstated but doesn't have to be called on.
Listen, we can still fuck you over because you're still the boss.
And that is Trump's game plan.
Totally true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I also like when you say called on it just reminds me of like elementary school so like I fucking hated this kid this is a bad kid but there was no proof that he was bad so I'm just gonna not grade his papers and give him zeros for everything they never said I had to grade his paper well you didn't you didn't get an F you just got no score yeah you got zero yeah which some would say is worse than an F Um, okay, next comment.
Uh, Mecker Judelung says, Brave move on the part of Fox News.
Kudos!
Fox is so brave.
Obligatory, uh, shit-lib comment.
I don't know who's braver, Jim or Fox.
Don't make me choose.
Oh, it's tough.
I mean like just this is the heart of journalism.
Yeah.
You know these corporate monopolistic conglomerates joining together putting their differences aside and saying Hey, like, we also want to make money.
Yeah.
You know?
It's heartwarming.
Can you please help us get a cut of the pie as well?
It's a real monster mash.
It's a real monster mash of these corporate, these horrific corporate entities putting aside their differences and coming together to just hang out, you know?
You know, that joke would have been really great a couple weeks ago around Halloween, but you really fucking blew it.
Oh, is it Valentine's Day already?
I did say months, didn't I?
I don't know.
I'm still just quoting The Simpsons.
Okay, so... National Capitalist.
Great username.
Not a red flag at all.
In fact, it's more like a yellow and black flag.
Or maybe a red flag with like a black and white symbol right in the middle of it.
Oh yeah, yeah.
National Capitalist says on Breitbart about Fox News co-signing this CNN lawsuit.
The fingers of Rupert Murdoch's leftist children are starting to wrap themselves around the neck of the last mostly honest cable news network.
Okay.
Like, how do you believe that Rupert Murdoch has leftist children and also that Fox News is an honest corporation?
You've convinced yourself now that, like, Fox is the epitome of integrity.
That's wild.
I just, like, I couldn't possibly believe anything spawned from the loins of Rupert Murdoch would be even centrist.
Yeah.
No way.
They're rich people.
This was a...
Common comment that Rupert Murdoch has like communist sons.
Yeah.
Like wealthy billionaire communist sons.
Where the fuck are they at?
From Australia.
Can we get them over here?
Maybe they want to join the Patreon.
Little known fact, there are no leftists in Australia.
At all.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, whatever.
Yeah, up the irons replies to National Capitalists.
Yep, this is it.
I bet Breitbart will be having the same troubles as Gab in the next five years.
That's really optimistic.
Five years, huh?
When I think of the troubles that Gab are having, he just means that Breitbart is going to be incubating mass shooters.
Exactly.
Which it definitely is.
We've seen a couple of them tonight, I think.
Well, you just don't use the same username on Gab as you use on Breitbart.
Yeah.
You can't leak the two.
That's so dumb.
Well, because I think this is like a discord, not discord, um, discus system or something like they use the discus comment system.
So yeah, you don't want that profile to be across multiple websites.
So, we have an amazing comment from Marty Pants.
Marty Pants, fuckin' legend.
Legend!
Legend!
Minion death cult lore.
Yeah.
Right here.
Marty Pants, whose avatar... You might remember.
You might remember.
I don't remember the actor's name.
No.
But, uh, the first real black president... The president from 24.
Exactly.
This is the dude who was thirsting after Candace Owens in whatever recent Candace Owens episode.
I think it was the Kanye episode.
Also a Kanye episode.
Marty Pants loves Kanye.
Too many Kanye episodes, dude.
He's just too important right now.
I think we have more Kanye episodes than Trump episodes.
But I just need to keep on shitting on him.
I need to keep on shitting on him because people keep on buying his fucking shoes.
Listen, next time you guys want to buy a pair of Yeezys, because I know our fans love Yeezys.
Buy a purple mattress instead.
Just buy a purple mattress instead.
Use the link provided in the show notes.
It's going to go right to our Patreon.
You're never going to get a mattress.
Tell them that awful sound sent you.
Anyways, Marty Pants.
Fucking poet.
Fox does not realize that we are in a different time from when Buttcrack or Butthole tried to ban Fox.
Beautiful.
That's the best one we've had.
It's the best one ever.
I can't believe we have not seen Buttcrack or Butthole.
Yeah.
Everybody knows what we mean by that, right?
Yeah, everyone does know.
Everybody knows what Marty Pants was saying.
I like it because it features the whole ass.
It's the crack and the hole.
You know what I mean?
Like, butt crack and, uh, oh butthole.
Oh butthole.
It's the whole butt.
Yeah, it's the entire thing.
It's the entire thing.
Yep.
The good thing about deplorables is, um, they actually never let a part of the butt go to waste.
When describing Obama.
The whole thing, yeah.
Yeah.
Even his wife, uh, me cheeks, oh butthole.
Does she need, does she need like a different last name?
No, they're just gonna say Michael O'Butthole.
Yeah, O-O-O-Bunza.
Yep.
Sorry, let's start from the top.
I think I'm still drunk from yesterday.
Probably, probably.
We'll blame it on Thanksgiving.
It's like me getting slightly drunk tonight is somehow time shifting me back to when I was the most drunk I've been in a while yesterday.
And just tapped into it, yeah?
Yeah.
It comes in waves sometimes, you know?
It's like a time release.
It's like a weird, like, quantum leap into my two bottles of champagne and four 16-ounce 7% ciders.
I mean, it was stretched out throughout the day.
It was good.
It was good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stretched out, like, 10 hours.
I was responsible.
I mean, you got a large body on you.
Yeah, I got like 10 hours worth of a body here.
There you go, see?
Boom.
This has filled up my outline slowly throughout the day.
A little fill in, like those temperature things.
Yeah, like a fundraiser for a school.
Like you're raising money, but for drunkenness.
We reached our goal of 100% drunk!
We did it!
You're just walking around the place.
Hey guys, we did it!
What did we do, Alex?
We did it!
I'm drunk now.
I get a trip to jail.
We did it!
We exceeded expectations.
See, the can is empty and my body is full.
Just waving an empty can in a cop's face.
There's nothing in here!
You can't arrest me!
There's nothing in here!
It's in my belly!
You hold it upside down over their head, see?
See, nothing's coming out!
And then you run to the bathroom to piss the evidence down the toilet?
I'll be right out!
Are you like, swallow the evidence?
You like, piss in your own mouth and swallow the evidence?
All right, moving on.
Oh, yes.
No wait.
Fox does not realize that we are in a different time from when buttcrack-o-butthole I think CNN literally did come to Fox's defense in the past because they're all literally on the same team.
in this new age today's journalism is nothing but commentary i think cnn literally did come to fox's defense uh in the past because you know they're all literally on the same team they have to be my journalism teacher will be doing backflips in her grave cnn is a shitbox where the msm me eats Yeah, mainstream media.
Where the MSM eats.
They all eat out of the shitbox from CNN.
I like my journalism teacher would be doing backflips in her grave if she were dead.
She's not.
She's still alive.
She's still alive.
She's still around.
Thank the Lord.
That's a big casket.
Yeah.
I mean, they say rolling over for a reason, because that's the only motion you could do inside of a casket.
CNN is the shitbox where the mainstream... I don't know what that means.
I don't know.
It's like a weird...
Mixed metaphor.
Do people eat shitboxes?
Well, no, it's mixing the metaphor of don't shit where you eat.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's trying to convey a sort of like dynamic between CNN and the rest of the mainstream media.
They're definitely defecating.
You're eating where someone else is shitting.
What?
They're eating where someone else is shitting, which is even worse.
Yeah, it's not even your own shit.
Oh, yeah.
No, you gotta only eat your own shit.
Everyone knows that.
This is a very scatological episode of Minion Death Cult.
Okay, that's a good way to end it.
That's a good way to end that segment.
I think so, I think so.
Okay, so... Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been in the news pretty frequently lately.
Like, they can't get enough of their Ocasio-Cortez.
For a couple things.
For having, like, a nice coat.
Like, hey, she's supposed to be poor.
She's a dirty socialist.
I didn't see any holes in those clothes.
Yeah, why aren't there, like, leather patches on the elbows of that coat?
Well, you know why there's no leather patches on my elbows?
Because you're vegan?
Yeah.
She's not that down.
What am I thinking?
I don't know.
Is she?
Who knows?
I doubt it.
Me too, because then she'd be perfect.
Too perfect.
Yeah, another thing, because she was in a photoshoot wearing clothes that the photoshoot gave to her to wear.
Oh, dude, I would never let a stylist put clothes on me.
Uh-huh.
No way.
Yeah, yeah.
Never.
Principles.
I stand on my principles and laurels.
Yeah, because then you wouldn't be working class.
Exactly.
If you ever wear free clothing that's expensive, then you're not a proletariat anymore.
If you want me in your magazine, you want me in your magazine wearing these coveralls.
You want me or you want the cover?
You want me or you want the dress?
Like who do you want here?
But my favorite incarnation of this like Ocasio shaming is Her talking about how expensive it is to live in D.C.
Yeah.
Like, being a normal person.
Yeah.
And having to, you know, relocate to Washington, D.C., which is literally one of the most expensive places to live.
Like, in the world.
And the response from the media, uh, and from commentators everywhere is, Ha ha, you fucking idiot!
Why didn't you get rich before running for Congress?
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Like, every single drain-the-swamp motherfucker is like, that's what you get for being poor!
Yeah.
And trying to represent your district!
You real dummy?
What are you thinking?
Econ 101, only the rich can tell us how to live our lives.
And just like, I mean, it's like... How...
How unaware are these Fox News commentators, or anyone, just laughing over their tea saucers at the plebe who deigns to run for Congress, who can't afford... It would seem to demonstrate an insane lack of self-awareness on behalf of the actual elite.
They're pretty good at pretending to be populists.
I wouldn't say pretty good, but they just keep the illusion up.
They put up the front.
They let the image shine.
It's Rick Santorum saying that Obama wanting everyone to go to college is an elitist sentiment.
You know what I mean?
That's their line.
They all dropped it.
They're all so obsessed with AOC, that they forgot that they were supposed to be anti-elitist.
Young Ock.
Which does, of course, stand for avowed open communist.
That was a Young Ock's joke, huh?
Young Ok, yeah, Young Ok.
I have to fill in the SoundCloud rapper jokes now.
I gotta represent for the real trappers out there.
For the lost member of the Minion Death Cult.
Shout out Young Ok, Andrea.
So, of course, a lot of people were pointing out how insane it is that The media class was making fun of her for not being able to afford to live in one of the wealthiest places in the country.
But there was a particular article that just really was beyond the pale.
From The Hill.
This is an opinion piece.
And it's titled, Ocasio-Cortez's Rise Reveals Rampant Economic Illiteracy in the U.S.
And, I'm assuming like, okay, you know, AOC is endorsed by the DSA, she's like...
sort of build as a socialist.
She's not a socialist.
She's more of a Social Democrat and FDR Democrat in the vein of Bernie Sanders.
You know, which is fine, which is the best we can hope for.
At this point, we'll take it.
Yeah, the best we can hope for in this in this climate.
And so I figured, you know, oh, this article is going to be all about how You know, kids just want free stuff and Ocasio-Cortez's ascendancy is just a result of that.
But it is literally specifically about her not being able to afford an apartment in Washington, D.C.
Which, I don't know anyone who could just pick up and move there right now.
No, absolutely not.
I mean, California is a very expensive place to live as well.
Uh, imagine just, yeah, finding a place to live on your own without a salary.
Yeah, without a salary for three months.
Because that's the whole point about, you know, once she starts being paid by the government, she will be making $175,000 a year.
She will be fine.
Which will put her above, you know, like 80% of this country.
But until then, she does not have that money.
And so that is the source of her inability to afford Washington, D.C.
So this article is written by Anne Rathbone Bradley.
Yep.
Real name.
Wrathbone.
Also the name of the instrument her ancestors used to beat their servants.
The Wrathbone.
The Wrathbone.
Rep-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made headlines when she revealed that she wouldn't be able to afford Washington D.C.
rent until her government salary kicks in.
Just waiting for the government to do their job for her.
Waiting for the government to suck off the teat.
Yes.
And this first sentence isn't accurate.
We'll get into that in the next article.
But... Miss Rathbone goes on to say, The lack of affordable housing in Washington is no joke!
Which she's about to make some anyway.
But the predicament also speaks to the young lawmaker's financial literacy, or lack thereof.
The 29-year-old didn't think to consider something as basic as the relocation expenses of a new job opportunity.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, what the fuck?
What are you doing?
You didn't think to yourself, like, oh, what if I win?
I'm gonna have to move.
You should have just called it quits right then.
Like, literally the argument is... You didn't think about making money until you applied for this job, like...
You know you're going to have to live out there, right?
Just get more money.
Just prepare, you know?
You know this would be a lot easier if you just had money, right?
Just acquire wealth.
It's easy.
If she doesn't know how much an apartment costs, how much confidence should taxpayers have in her ability to effectively deliver trillions of dollars in campaign promises?
So this whole argument is framing the outlandishly expensive cost of living in Washington D.C.
as her not knowing how much it costs to live in D.C.
It's funny because I know she does know how much it costs and she knows that she can't afford it.
Yeah.
That's why she's not moving.
It's like this weird deflective argument of like, it's the same thing with the free speech.
We're not talking about being racist, we're talking about free speech.
Exactly.
We're not talking about it's way too expensive to live in Washington D.C.
and a normal person can't afford it.
We're talking about her lack of preparation.
For moving to this totally ridiculous area of the country.
We're talking about how it's her fault that she can't move there.
If she doesn't know how much an apartment costs.
Yeah, she just didn't know.
She just didn't know.
She was like, oh, I'm going to be able to get there on a song and a wish.
You know?
Ocasio-Cortez has proposed free Medicare for All, free college tuition, guaranteed federal employment at $15 an hour, and free houses for the nation's poorest.
So this is the way that conservatives...
Characterize leftist arguments about, you know, a welfare state or about a sort of nationalized health care program.
Leftists, they just want free stuff.
Yeah.
It's like, no, we want to take money from you.
Yeah.
Like, Ms.
Rathbone, we're going to take your money.
It's not free.
It's not free.
You have to pay for it.
We know it's not free.
But that's the thing, you know nothing in life is free, and we're like, yeah, exactly.
So, come on.
It's not free because we will be, like, taking your money to pay for it.
It will be paid for, and thank you for that.
Those ideas have been conservatively priced at $40 trillion, twice as much money currently listed on the national debt.
So this is another really bad conservative argument against national health care, against Medicare for All, or single payer, or whatever.
Because it doesn't factor into how much we already pay for health care.
You probably heard about this.
I think it was the Heritage Foundation for whom Miss Rathbone works.
I believe she works for the Heritage Foundation.
The Hill is a weird website, so it loads other articles as I scroll down.
Yeah, that's not good either.
Sorry, apologies, we are officially sponsored by Verizon Engineers.
So, shout out to Verizon Engineers.
The Heritage Foundation just, like, promoted this post.
She, Anne Rathbone Bradley, PhD, is the George and Sally Mayer Fellow for Economic Education and Academic Director at the Fund for American Studies, an organization that advocates for limited government and free market economics.
She also works for, like, some organization that promotes biblical capitalism?
Yep, yep.
She's a wild concept.
Yeah.
She's a crazy person.
Legit crazy person.
But, I believe it was the Heritage Foundation that released a study saying, Medicare for All is going to cost $32 trillion over 10 years.
What it neglected to tally in this report is that current estimates of the health care plans that we are, you know, the health care model that we're currently, you know, operating under is going to cost $34 trillion in the next 10 years.
$2 trillion more than what the Heritage Foundation estimated Medicare for all will cost.
As in, healthcare for everybody will cost $2 trillion less than healthcare for 55% or whoever is currently covered?
Wild.
And when Bernie Sanders pointed this out, when other leftist economists and medical professionals pointed this out, they were accused of Like, by PolitiFact and Vox, I think, of, like, not telling the complete truth.
Because the Heritage Foundation factored in private and governmental costs, whereas the Medicare for All plan would just be governmental costs.
So, when you're paying taxes for healthcare, it all goes to the government.
So, your government is spending more on healthcare, but each individual person is spending less.
Which is funny, because what I'm hearing right now is just better and better reasons to go for healthcare for all, but it's being projected as, this is going to cripple us, when it's like, nah, it's going to help everybody the fuck out.
Covering millions of more people for cheaper.
For cheaper, and cheaper out of our pockets.
Straight up liquidate the private insurance industry.
Yeah, it would be amazing.
It's the kind of extremist proposal you'd expect to hear from someone who has never made a budget, never been responsible for a business and payroll, and never had taxes deducted from a hard-earned paycheck.
Thing about Ocasio-Cortez is literally a fucking bartender.
Worked at restaurants.
I don't know.
There's very few jobs that are harder than serving the chuds.
Absolutely true.
Absolutely true.
Never made a budget, never been responsible for a business in payroll, and never had taxes deducted from a hard-earned paycheck.
I like that she's separating owning a business from earning a paycheck.
That's like a weird Freudian slip.
Also, did she think that she's only been paid under the table her entire life?
No, we'll get into it.
She thinks she's like a millennial who's lived in the basement and never had a real job.
It's just this stereotype of millennials that everybody is working backwards from.
It's the kind of proposal you've heard from Venezuela President Nicolas Maduro and Hugo Chavez before him.
The problem with her myriad of free giveaways is it's unbelievably naive and empirically falsifiable to think the federal government is more cost efficient than the free market.
Absolutely not true.
Not true at all.
Medicare, as it currently is, is one of the most efficient government programs in existence.
The first rule of economic thinking is that there's no such thing as a free lunch.
Like we said, we're going to be taking your money, Ms.
Rathbone.
You're going to be paying for it.
Thank you.
It's just like insanely Outlandish like magical conservative thinking, this whole article.
If you want to see young successful people who are making a real difference, look at someone who started his or her own business, got his or her foot in the door at a prestigious company, or worked for what they achieved.
Again, this Freudian slip of separating somebody who started their own business and got their foot in the door at a prestigious company from somebody who worked for what they achieved.
Because literally, those two first things do not happen to working people.
No, they just don't.
You don't start a business because of your work ethic.
Again, man, people are so fucking detached.
I've told this story on podcasts before.
It's when the guy I know who owns two successful businesses looked me in the eyes and said, dude, just start a business.
Just start a business, dude.
Just start a business.
I started two.
Cool man!
Awesome!
Now please give me all the avenues that you had so I can start that business.
You gotta pay for like filing all that paperwork and hiring lawyers.
Can you just get all the investors that invested in you to invest in me?
Including your parents?
That'd be sick!
I'll do it!
And this is like the American myth that CEOs worked for their $2 million salary or $46 million salary.
Imagine how much work you would actually have to do to earn a million dollars.
At any hourly rate.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's such an absurd idea.
The idea that anyone could earn a billion dollars.
You're trying to put a price on an idea or a mind.
Or just an attitude.
You know?
You know, their idea of the millionaire or the billionaire who's worth so much more than the people on the factory or on the assembly line putting everything together for 8 hours, 10 hours, 12 hours a day.
Their idea of that job creator is literally somebody who sits and thinks.
Sits and thinks like, oh, it would be cool if you could touch your phone's screen.
That'd be sick, yeah.
Oh wow, look at how much work that guy did to think about that, to think of that idea.
Do you know what would be a really good idea?
What if you could just eliminate a lot of jobs and send them over to someone else to pay less for it?
Wow, can I buy that idea from you?
Yeah.
For like 46 million dollars?
A year.
A year.
Alright.
Annually.
But yes, you can.
You can lease that idea from me.
Yeah, okay, I don't know.
This is like ultimate capitalistic nonsense.
There's also an inadvertently tragic ramification of today's trendy democratic socialist ideas.
If you actually added $40 trillion to the U.S.
national debt, as Ocasio-Cortez has proposed, it would be younger people and future generations that have to bear the astronomical tax burden when bills come due.
Again, this is an outright lie.
This is a blatant mischaracterization of the proposal to save two trillion dollars on health care.
Graduates of Boston University's economic program, which we haven't said in this episode, Ocasio-Cortez has a bachelor's degree in economics from Boston University.
Graduates of Boston University's Economic Program are supposed to be able to, quote, understand economic theory and be able to apply these models to evaluate policies and real-world events, according to the school's website.
Ocasio-Cortez would do well to understand that the path to prosperity is not built on government handouts, but on free people unleashing their human creativity to advance the common good.
An honest to goodness, which isn't hyphenated, debate between Ocasio-Cortez and her opponent could have been a sorely needed corrective lesson by exposing the flimsy arguments of central planners like Ocasio-Cortez.
It may have helped young people understand economics better than any college course ever could.
College is not good enough for these people.
A degree, a college degree is not good enough for these people.
If only there was like a piece of paper that would tell me that she does know what she's talking about.
Oh wait, maybe a degree from this economic school.
Oh wait, she has that?
Well then obviously the school is a bunch of libtards.
Well, you know what?
I got a degree.
It's from the school of not so much hard knocks, but like, you know, like I had a job one time, but everything else pretty much catered for me.
It's that school.
I have that school.
Degree from that school.
Why doesn't she just get a job working for her parents' law firm?
And learn something valuable.
Exactly.
At least for uncles.
And then, uh, we're running low on time here.
Yeah, really low on time.
Uh... Let's not read this Blaze article.
Let's go straight into comments.
James F. Klauser says, I wonder why we don't hear more about her parents.
What about the home she was raised in?
What do her father and mother do for a living?
Can't she go to them for a temporary loan to get an apartment in Washington?
Does she have any college debt?
If not, why not?
Most importantly, wouldn't it help to understand her if we knew more about her background?
Where's my wife?
Where am I?
What's that smell?
Where are my pants?
Why is the dog talking to me?
Yeah, Alex, like, um, tell me, why doesn't she just, like, call up her dad and be like, hey, dad, I've never worked hard for my life, can you help me out?
Why don't, why haven't I read more about the, the, the extensive coverage of her, of her biography that was the center of her campaign?
Yeah.
Why haven't I read about her dad dying of cancer and her having to work multiple restaurant jobs in order to support her entire family?
Why haven't I read about these things?
Yeah, I wonder.
These readily available facts.
Yeah, and also the idea of like, why doesn't she just get her rich parents to pay for it?
Why doesn't she get a small loan of, not a million dollars, but a small loan of a DC apartment?
Why doesn't somebody loan her an apartment building?
Just let her use it for a while.
Why doesn't she just squat?
I mean, that's an argument.
That's a decent argument.
That's a common thing.
People think that people's parents can bail them out of anything.
That's like the default.
Yeah.
I've had some people be like, why don't you just move in with your parents?
And I'm like, well, that's not an option.
But thank you.
I mean, sure.
Yeah.
But it's not an option.
But go ahead.
Mark Bradley says to Ocasio-Cortez, you will be banking $175,000 versus waitressing last year!
Four exclamation points!
Figure it out, sugar.
Certainly you can find a place to crash or mommy and daddy to fund you till you start, quote, representing your district.
Fuck.
Heaven help us all.
Well, cause mommy and daddy don't live in D.C.
Yeah.
She needs help in D.C.
and also mommy and daddy doesn't even live anymore.
Yeah.
Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Three months is a long time to survive on nothing.
Yeah.
The whole Blaise article that we didn't read was about how they got her because her financial records disclosed that she had a savings account of $15,000 or more.
I haven't looked it up.
It probably cost a couple thousand to rent an apartment in D.C.
Easily.
She never said she was not going to be able to live in D.C.
She just said, holy shit, it's going to be fucking hard.
I might have to eradicate over half of my savings account just to live for three months in D.C.
without a paycheck.
And yeah, this is like, this is the NPC meme thing again because it is conservatives projecting their extremely simplistic idea of the opposition onto the real world.
Like it is this meme of the millennial of the socialist millennial who lives with their parents who's like a privileged like trust fund kid who's never had to work for anything and that's the only reason they want socialism.
God she just needs to stay in the basement a few more months with mommy and daddy.
Maybe she should try some hashtag work ethic.
Yeah and uh I don't know if we have the other comment uh but it was like she wants to use this is what uh this is a very common comment actually it was um well she's a socialist she wants us to pay for her apartment yep It's like, literally that's what's going to happen.
Yeah.
Because she's, as a congressperson, we're paying her enormous salary.
That's her job.
That's part of what voting for her did.
Voting for her was saying, we're down to pay her this much for this job.
Yeah.
Joshua, Joshia, is that a real name?
It's Joshua with an I instead of a U says to Alexandria, join the club.
99% of us can't afford Washington, D.C.
And I think Josiah like independently just created the Occupy movement right there.
Ten years later, this happened.
It's a very interesting number he landed on.
Wait, hold on.
Hold on.
It seems like a lot of us are in the same position you're in.
It seems like you're not alone.
I feel like most people are where you're at.
Wow.
Join the club, sweetheart.
I can't afford stuff either.
Shut up, bitch.
What is this comment?
Quit talking about my struggles.
I don't want to hear about my struggles on the news.
Are you actually empathizing with your own experiences with her and you don't want to know what that feels like?
Just so removed from your own material needs that you're like, God, this leftist won't quit talking about what we all know.
Also, join the club.
She's clearly been in the club.
She's a veteran of the club.
One more comment, or a couple more.
Art Erickson says, and this is spelled like Leaf Erickson, if the left ever take control again, I'm starting a movement called Hashtag Up Yours With Taxes.
That really means pound up yours!
Just like hashtag me too means pound me too!
My joke is this in case you didn't get what my joke was.
My joke was this other joke that was really funny that makes my joke worse.
Because the movement, again, that he's going to start, if the left ever take control again, is hashtag up yours with taxes.
Which is like already a sexual metaphor.
It's already like a metaphor for sexual assault.
Up my what, exactly?
Yeah, but he means to clarify this idea with pound up yours.
In case you didn't realize what I meant was, I meant this.
In case you didn't realize where I got this from, it's from this.
You know how, uh, Up Yours is really just like a shortened version of Pound Up Yours?
Yeah.
Honestly, they're just looking for a lawsuit from 7 Up.
Last comment from Betsy Dennison Lester, a middle-aged white woman, an upper middle-aged white woman.
Definitely going to be like a monstrous comment.
Oh, with that haircut.
She has the Can't Talk to Your Manager haircut for sure.
Yeah, she says, get in touch with her, with Alexandria.
Suggests that she or a good friend slash political ally.
Start a GoFundMe account.
I have next to no money.
I'm not kidding, but I would help her.
Thanks, Betsy.
Just a heartwarming comment, which we don't often have.
Yeah.
This is a genuinely good comment.
Yeah, didn't expect that.
That's the comment we're ending on tonight.
Thank you, Betsy, and thank you, listener.
Thank you, Betsy.
You know, Betsy, you should be a listener.
You guys should all tell everyone you know until you find a Betsy.
Yeah, ask to speak to the manager and suggest that they listen to Minion Death Cult.
Absolutely.
um yeah okay so uh write to us if you have any uh you know anything to share any critiques of the show we're more than we're more than willing to hear them uh if you think that i got too drunk on the episode please let me know at MinionDeathCult at gmail.com Join the Facebook group Minion Death Commandos.
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at MinionDeathCult.
Support the show.
Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
So many links in my brain.
So many links.
Remember before there were links, dude?
Well, you know what?
Links will be in the show notes, so we're good.
Remember when there was a simpler time with no links?
Remember when the only links we had to worry about were sausage links?
And tell people about the show.
Tell your friends about Minion Death Cult.
Tell them about these hot links.
Go to youtube.com slash MinionDeathCult to watch all this footage in its glorious, glorious two-dimensional existence.
And that's it.
So thanks for listening, folks.
See y'all.
Bye.
Peace.
This is a cat-free episode.
Kind of sad.
I smell the fear on your breath.
With so much time, you're so welcome.
And now, the very best champion.
Here's to the black and the blue.
Oh, you're time for me.
I'm not time for you.
You died for me!
And I died for you!
Here's to the black and the blue!
You died for me!
I died for you, too!
They're raising their hands!
Don't waste your words and worries, don't worry, yeah!
