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Aug. 6, 2018 - Minion Death Cult

01:29:20

64 - Internet Age

The world is ending. Catching feelings instead of pop flies is responsible. We're documenting it. A guest joins us to talk about how yahoo tries to make its readers gay by subjecting them to video baseball players comforting each other in the dugout. Also, an entire police department quits, and we all agree to hunger strike until their demands are met. Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaXrtTt4xoQhrHQeZyWIRoQ

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	Few reminders here.
	We are camming.
	We're straight up camming.
	So the easiest way to do this for now is you go to the Instagram page at MinionDeathCult and you click on that link and it'll take you right to our YouTube page or you can just search MinionDeathCult on YouTube.
	Guys, unless you're going to our YouTube video, you can't see my amazing dragon piece I'm camming with right now.
	Can you guys see my amazing dragon piece?
	Black and white aliens.
	It's a black and white dragon.
	Maybe this is a horse piece, but it's definitely a piece that you guys have to go onto the YouTube to see.
	But it's definitely there.
	It's definitely fucking adorable.
	Yep.
	Second of all, we did a video, alright?
	So, California Highway Patrol released one of those completely obnoxious, totally abhorrent lip-sync challenge videos set to California love, set to California girls, set to California dreamin', like every song with California in the title.
	And the video is like stomach churning.
	The video is nauseating.
	Especially when you consider how much it costs to make.
	It's them fucking with lowriders.
	It's them pretending to be a hair metal band.
	It's a bunch of important shit.
	I like to ignore those Lip Sync Challenge videos done by cops.
	But this one, I could not abide.
	Could not abide by it.
	So I went ahead and made my own edit of the video, including some of CHP's greatest hits.
	Such as the video of that officer mounting the woman on the side of the freeway and punching her repeatedly in the face.
	Where is it?
	I can't remember which which it is but it's those cops that just hold attack dog on a man who's already handcuffed and subdued and unfortunately I couldn't include like all the screaming he did because there was like ominous music playing over it on the on the news clip but I cut all these into the video of the CHP lip-sync challenge so you get like California dreaming while canine units are attacking a subdued man Remember guys, this is how we need to support our boys in blue.
	If we share this video, then maybe the California CHP won't go out of business and quit on us.
	So please share the video.
	Show them that they're appreciated.
	That you're paying attention to what they're doing.
	Listen, if the Kiki Challenge can get all this love, let's show our boys in blue some love.
	Yeah, and so, second of all, subscribe to the Patreon, get two episodes every week, so you get this episode for free, obviously, and then you get another episode just as good this Thursday.
	Yeah.
	P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult.
	Finally, huge announcement.
	Giant.
	You want to take this one, Tony?
	Guys, if you've been waiting for a way to show people that you're fucking down for the cult, maybe you can go to MinionDeathCult.com and pre-order the t-shirt.
	It's up.
	The t-shirt is up, and it's pretty fucking tight.
	It's amazing.
	Our buddy Twinkie did the cover art, or did the...
	The pocket print, which you can see if you're following us on YouTube, it's the logo we keep on the front.
	It's a pretty tight black metal font, hand-drawn by our buddy who's done a lot of our friends' bands' album covers.
	And the back is a collage done by Tony himself, which is fucking amazing.
	It's a collage of a dude we found who literally Runs a Boomer meme page with like a hundred thousand likes and this dude is incredible.
	He's an incredible sight to behold.
	You need to look at this shirt.
	So go to the Instagram to check it out at MinionDeathCult or just go to the website.
	We have a website now, MinionDeathCult.com.
	Pre-order this shirt.
	If you sign up for the Patreon, we're going to be giving away one or two shirts to Patreon subscribers.
	We haven't quite settled on one or two.
	I mean, we'll probably do two if enough of you guys do it.
	Right.
	That sounds good.
	Yeah, I like that.
	Get them on there.
	Yeah, I like that.
	Yeah, hey, if you guys, if a lot of you folks sign up, then who knows, we might give away a hundred.
	One hundred shirts.
	Shirts to the Patreon subscriber.
	You never know.
	OK, so that's that's up there.
	Check out that shirt.
	Pre-order it now, especially if you wear a larger or smaller size than normal.
	So we know to make that one.
	MinionDeathCult.com, Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult, YouTube MinionDeathCult.
	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
	So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned guys, and we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to destroy the desert.
	All their environmental stuff.
	Stay tuned.
	I'm Alexander Edward.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Cult.
	The world is ending.
	What did we decide on?
	Catching feelings.
	Instead of Pop Flies is responsible.
	Yeah, we're documenting it.
	So today we have a special guest joining us, Matt Bramlett.
	How you doing, buddy?
	Doing alright, how are you?
	Did I pronounce your last name okay?
	It was perfect.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Great.
	Well, thank you so much for joining us.
	Thank you.
	Thank you for having me.
	You are a reporter for an unnamed publication?
	I mean, we can name it.
	Okay, let's name it.
	It's kind of a small kind of community weekly.
	It's a nice little kind of upper class college town.
	Cool.
	Yeah.
	So you're the enemy on this show.
	I sure am.
	Yeah.
	Happy to be here.
	How would you say, how would you say that is the paper like socialist or is it more liberal?
	You know, I'm gonna be safe and say objective.
	I'm gonna say, you know, we kind of, you know, we don't really have a particular slant.
	You say safe, I say out.
	Okay, that's the segue into the first topic.
	Do you want to go ahead and deliver this topic, Tony?
	You're the one who found it.
	Yeah, so it's baseball season.
	The Boys of Summer are being some real boys.
	I thought you were going to say the Boys of Summer are back in town and combined two classic songs in one.
	I don't I've never heard music so I don't get that joke.
	So recently the Atlanta Braves are playing a game and these two players what's Ozzie?
	Ozzie Albies.
	Ozzie Albies and Ronald Acuna Jr.
	were in the dugout and something was happening like they were clearly being very
	Ozzy was being very tender to Ronald and something was clearly happening and it was caught on tape and the commentators talked about it and basically because they were being so tender the whole world had to talk about and had to be real homophobic and gross and talk about how, you know, baseball players aren't even real men anymore because they show some sort of affection for each other.
	Do you want to watch this video?
	Yeah, the clip's pretty important actually.
	To the first four that he's faced, what in the world do we have here?
	Getting a little massage there?
	A little scalp massage?
	I love how they're just like trying to figure it out.
	Best of friends, those two.
	So, for those of you who aren't watching the YouTube feed, which you should be doing, I don't know why you're not, go to the link in our Instagram account to watch this video.
	But, yeah, it's these two players in the dugout, one of them sitting on the bench, the other one's like...
	Kind of on his knees hugging the other guy just like straight on in between his knees and the guy who's sitting up is rubbing the back of his head like we don't know exactly what happened but some people said that dude's mom just died.
	Yeah, they say he was being comforted and like apparently they're saying his mom died.
	It hasn't been confirmed yet.
	But clearly just something was going on and... Looks upset.
	Yeah, they were just being, he was just being very tender and caring and it was very nice.
	Yeah.
	But what's funny, so this video...
	The commentators are kind of having a hard time and I'm like happy this didn't happen in the 90s because it would have been a little bit different, I think.
	Yeah.
	It would have been a lot different.
	Probably wouldn't have happened.
	At first, I'm just kind of confused by that.
	What's going on there?
	Because there is a lot of like dugout humor, you know, and so you don't really know what's happening there.
	But I just I really blame the producers of the game because they've they have this for I mean, the video is a good it's a good like 30 seconds long of this happening and the poor commentators have to think of something to say.
	I actually, I'm going to come at it from the other side and like give the producers a lot of credit for not throwing up the Kiss Cam.
	Oh, yeah.
	I feel like it's pretty woke to not do that.
	Kind of like a heart wipe kind of go in.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	That toy would have... Maybe the producers of the ball game actually did that, but we don't know.
	We didn't see that.
	Right.
	The Jumbotron, that's like, that's the Wild West.
	I love how problematic the Kiss Cam is and how it's still running.
	It still happens at every sporting event ever.
	That's just a class action lawsuit waiting to happen.
	Yeah, I mean like, my boyfriend and I went to an Angels game recently, this is like a few weeks ago, and the kiss cam went on and I was just telling him, I was like, look, they're not gonna have a single same-sex couple on that kiss cam.
	Watch.
	And like, of course, you know.
	I was right.
	They're never going to do that.
	The whole stadium's going to erupt in booze.
	It's going to go crazy.
	Or they could just do like what Five for Fighting did for their video for Superman, which is have an interracial lesbian couple go to kiss and then just literally delete the black woman from the shot and replace her with a white man.
	Is that a thing?
	Yeah, that's in that video.
	Listen to that awful sound this week.
	Oh my god.
	It's pretty great.
	By great, I mean terrible, obviously.
	And to this day, we still talk about Fight4Fighting.
	It's dominating the conversation.
	It's the biggest waste of a sick name ever.
	Like, that name rules.
	Because it's hockey related.
	That's the only reason it rules.
	You know I'm a hockey boy, though.
	You know I'm a hockey boy.
	Yeah, this whole this but I do we all love the moment that when the kiss cam happens and it's on the couple and then like the same as a couple next to them kisses and Then they quickly delete it right away make it go away Because I've seen that happen before and it changes real fast I like it when they're, like, reluctant to kiss.
	Like, there's, like, some inner tension.
	Yeah.
	That's being kind of writ large on the Jumbo-Tron.
	And you just, like, pressure them, and everybody's going, Kiss!
	Kiss!
	Kiss!
	It's a great moment in, yeah, like, society.
	They force, like, a half-smile, and they're like, Okay, we'll kiss, even though we've been fighting.
	Reminds me of elementary school, very strongly.
	I just can't wait for the right, like, exhibitionist couple to get on camera.
	I'm waiting for that lawsuit.
	Yeah.
	So obviously these commentators are like, well, it's the producer who's lingering on the shot.
	Commentators got to fill this air and they're being a great job.
	They're being pretty gentle, like relatively speaking.
	They're just, like, reaching for stuff.
	They're like, oh, uh, giving him a massage.
	Seems pretty stressed.
	Um, checking him for lice, probably.
	They are best friends.
	Actually, you know, John, those people can't get lice.
	There's, uh, oils in their hair.
	That, uh... Okay.
	That is, that is, like, one of the only perks of being black in America.
	Well, seeing as how they are parasites themselves, I don't see how another one could attach... No.
	They did better than I would expect most men of their demographic to do.
	Yeah.
	The commentators, that is.
	You sure?
	Yeah.
	Is that it for this video?
	Yeah.
	Now let's get into the response to the coverage of the caress.
	The coverage of the caress.
	The caressing around the world.
	Or at least the Metro Atlanta area.
	Well, hold on.
	This article, right?
	We gotta give background on what this article is.
	The Yahoo article.
	Um, it's a pretty good little write-up.
	Basically, the article was addressing the homophobic response.
	It was not about the actual coverage.
	It was about the homophobic response on the internet.
	So it's a good, it's a good article.
	It does a pretty okay job.
	Um, but the, the first, the first paragraph Well, the headline.
	They changed the headline.
	Yeah, they changed the headline.
	The original headline was, How Two Baseball Players Are Redefining Masculinity in the Age of Trump.
	Heroes.
	Yeah.
	Just gods in this dugout, hugging each other.
	We go back to find this again, the same article that we've already had a screencap of, and it now says, A clip of a baseball player consoling his teammates going viral for all the right reasons.
	So they removed the word Trump, basically, from the article's headline.
	Yeah.
	I mean, it was pretty clickbaity.
	It was, it was.
	I mean, yeah, the intentions were pretty clear on that one.
	Like, they're not staging a demonstration.
	They're just having, like, a private moment in the dugout and unfortunately there's a camera lingering on them and they're like, check out this gay pride parade happening in the dugout!
	Does MLB do a Pride thing?
	I've never seen a Pride baseball jersey.
	I think I've only seen hockey.
	You know what's so funny?
	The Angels were the lone holdouts for Pride night.
	They didn't have one in 2018.
	people like raise a stink about it.
	And now they're finally having one in 2019.
	There's one baseball team that I think I'm going to check real quick that still is never Pride Night.
	And I think it might be the Yankees.
	I'm going to double check.
	That would be shocking.
	Yeah, the Yankees.
	The Yankees are currently the only team in the Major League Baseball that doesn't have a Pride Night so far.
	And the Angels were the second.
	They were one of the lone holdouts, too, but they finally, like, relented and got a Pride Night.
	Props, Orange County, for being back into a corner.
	Right.
	That's just tearing down culturally the stereotypes.
	Mm-hmm.
	Right.
	We're just as Republican out here, too.
	Okay, so did you want to read from any of this, Tony?
	I just like the one paragraph where it actually talks about Trump.
	Is that the top one there?
	Yeah.
	That was their intention completely.
	the first paragraph says, um, two major league baseball players are flipping outdated concepts of masculinity upside down.
	They're just flipping it on.
	It's, they're just turning it over.
	That was their intention.
	Really showing what it means to be a man.
	Um, in a time where the president is touting archaic ideas of masculinity, like suggesting he would have run into, um, run into majority Marjorie, sorry, Marjorie Stoneman Douglas high school on arm to save the day.
	Uh, and his obsession with military parades.
	Like, so I, I like this article.
	I think it's cool.
	They're talking about this, but when I think about how Trump is Doing this whole masculine parade?
	I don't think about either of those two instances.
	I think about all, like, the gnarly misogyny he's been doing forever, that he's known for, you know, with the infamous quotes, the grabbing of pussies, you know, that's what I think of when I think about how he's, like, painting masculinity as this, like, awful thing.
	Yeah, I mean, there's so many other instances where he's like... I guess it's similar to, like, running into the school shooting thing, but, like, literally just saying, like, if that protester were up here, I'd knock his block off.
	I'd really rough him up.
	But this is the whole thing with the clickbaity thing, right?
	So, they had to kind of play it smart.
	What is one thing no one, like, disagrees with?
	People probably all agree that he wouldn't run into that building.
	Let's run with that one.
	Because any of his other, like, weird, misogynistic, gross tones, people might still have some sympathies towards.
	I just like the idea, yeah, they're trying to come up with, like, Trump play-acting masculinity or whatever, and they're like, you know, Trump pretends to be this badass, traditionally masculine figure by wanting to throw a fancy parade?
	Yep.
	Yep.
	That's a little interesting.
	There's nothing more masculine than fancy parades.
	Yeah.
	Do you want to get into comments here?
	Me and my boys, we get up every fucking Thanksgiving and we get together and watch that goddamn parade.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Every float, we shock on a beer.
	Every party.
	So yeah, there's some pretty good coverage on this.
	Oh man.
	Yeah, they literally had to change the headline because people got so mad that they mentioned Trump.
	Yeah, like 95% of the comments are like, dude, why would you mention Trump?
	It's even bigger than that, though.
	It's even bigger than, you know, mentioning Trump.
	It's like Common Sense 5201 says, anything to avoid covering the full story of the Florida police officer murdered by the Haitian in the country illegally.
	How about this lovely story about, like, two guys being, like, friends.
	Well, that's just a cover-up.
	It was one or the other.
	- It was one or the other.
	They had room for one more article on the internet.
	And it had to be this one.
	Common Sense 5201 is the Alex Jones of the Yahoo Comments section.
	Oh yeah, absolutely.
	Pointing out false flags left and right, really getting to the heart of the issue.
	Common Sense 5201 was the alternative title to Thomas Paine's Master Word.
	No, I believe it.
	If common sense was taken, then it was going to be common sense 5-2-0-1.
	5-2-0-1, yeah.
	Which is like, that's the year when, I don't know if you noticed, but in the year 5-2-0-1, that's when there's going to be no more white men.
	That's the year when they're going to be completely eliminated.
	God willing.
	The commenters are telling you that by 5201 they will be eliminated.
	I love this, like, tack though.
	You see this tack a lot.
	You know, like, there's a story that you don't like.
	It's like, anything to distract from the fact that my ex-wife is a fucking bitch!
	Never seen an article on that, Yahoo!
	I have receipts.
	I've seen the texts.
	I sent them to you!
	Once a week!
	I forwarded you to the photo she sent me.
	Oh, yeah.
	These people are just amazing.
	Alright, this one's yours, Matt.
	I'll read this one.
	This is a good one.
	Well, you have benders with your friends, bro?
	That's pretty fucking sick.
	It's okay to be gay with my brother.
	I had never ever cuddle with them.
	I've crashed with them after a bender, but never cuddle.
	That's just gross.
	- Whoa, you have benders with your friends, bro?
	That's pretty fucking sick.
	- Yeah, but he's crashed with them.
	Never gone so close to where he'd cuddle.
	Besides his brother though, that's the thing.
	That's the thing.
	Like there's a lot to unpack with it.
	- It's okay to be gay with my brother.
	- Yes.
	- He's my brother. - It's true.
	It's like, fine.
	It's like an interesting bit of logic.
	Like, if cuddling with another man is gay, then why is it okay to do it with your brother?
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	It's a little, I don't know.
	The whole thing is interesting.
	I always like to imagine that in their mind, cuddling just implies, like, motion?
	Like, he spoons, they spoon all day, but they don't move.
	They just plank right on top of each other, but they don't ever move.
	Because that's... It's a frictionless friendship!
	Because that's when it becomes weird.
	Hey man, this is for warmth.
	Don't forget, this is for warmth.
	Speaking of out cold... That's just gross.
	Isn't that an Out Cold joke?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	That's like an Uppercreek.
	That's like every comedy in 2003 joke.
	We have to get naked for warmth.
	To have to survive.
	Doesn't that happen on Boy Meets World?
	There's nothing more hilarious.
	They're brothers though, it's okay.
	No, like the older brother picks up a hitchhiker and they have to survive in the warmth.
	I don't know.
	Not important.
	Not important.
	I don't know why I remember that episode.
	I might have made that up in my head.
	It might have been something you saw on Pornhub.
	That's true.
	Okay.
	Your comment, Tony.
	Oh, this is from Joe?
	I like how Joe got Joe somehow.
	Why make this about Trump?
	What's wrong with being an alpha male?
	What's wrong with being sexy?
	Well, I mean, if you guys have ever seen the movie... Wait, hold on.
	What number is it? 300?
	Yeah, that's the masculine movie.
	If you guys have ever seen 300, you would know that the true alpha males are okay with being effeminate and having facial piercings and being gaudy.
	And having male lovers that they erase from history in that movie.
	Exactly.
	So this is all wrong, and I know my bro's seen 300.
	I love, like, what's wrong with being an alpha male?
	What's wrong with, like, standing atop the toilet so I can take a piss without touching my dick?
	Because that's gay.
	Yeah.
	It's basically, you know, that's what's wrong with media day.
	They're just trying to soften us up.
	What's wrong with making my dog wear pants so I don't have to see his butthole all day?
	Nothing wrong with that?
	All right.
	Lederhosen.
	Okay, so here, I want to kind of just preface this by saying that Saul wrote at least a dozen comments on this one article alone.
	Saul 100?
	Yeah, he was very prolific.
	This really struck a nerve with him.
	Saul 100% retired.
	Yes.
	Works at retired.
	Works at retired, yeah.
	25% disabled.
	So he goes, that's so fruity.
	Where's the ABBA music?
	Cue song.
	It's raining men hallelujah.
	It's raining men doo doo doo.
	You know, I really, um, I'm, I'm... So yeah, hold on, hold on.
	So there's people who are just listening who aren't watching that.
	So I feel like you need to give a better reading of that second comment.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Right.
	Cool.
	Yeah.
	I'll do my best.
	Cue song.
	It's a rainin' manna!
	Hallelujah!
	It's a rainin' manna!
	And then, doo-doo-doo.
	Which, of course, comes after the chorus.
	To be fair, I don't know what those lyrics... Is it amen?
	Is that the line that's after rainin' men?
	Amen!
	Oh, I have no idea.
	Yeah, none of us know.
	That's why Saul did doo-doo-doo.
	Sorry, I'm an alpha male.
	I can't do that.
	I don't listen to that kind of stuff.
	I've always been dancing way too hard to actually listen to the song.
	It's because you're a dancing queen, baby.
	Yeah.
	You know, I really love this native advertising for Mamma Mia 2, Here We Go Again.
	They are paying for this show.
	It is called Here We Go Again.
	It couldn't be called anything else, huh?
	No, of course not.
	It could be called, like, My My.
	Isn't that a lyric in Mamma Mia?
	I think so, yeah.
	For sure.
	That's the third one, actually.
	So every single sequel will have, like, another lyric from the song.
	Good.
	Yeah.
	The fourth one is How Can I Resist.
	Yeah, this dude knows a lot of fruity music for being a straight man.
	He did some research.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He made sure that his comment was genuine and legitimate.
	Totally googled, songs about men.
	If there's anyone who takes a Yahoo comment section seriously, it's Saul.
	And he has the time to do it.
	Saul's definitely not 80 years old when he thinks of fruity music.
	Where's the Sonny and Cher, huh?
	All this disco music.
	Have you seen the pants they wear these days?
	Always accentuating their privates for each other.
	Don't get me started on Dionne Warwick.
	Okay.
	This is one of my favorite comments.
	There's so much going on in this one.
	one.
	It's from Johnny Vulture, whose comment said, Obama made people think this stuff is okay.
	So, yeah, Obama, it's Obama's fault that men can't express themselves.
	And Obama ruined everything.
	And, uh, you can tell this guy hates Obama by his profile picture that is Andre 3000 from the video Hey Ya, which I recognized immediately.
	And to find the source photo, I just Googled Andre 3000 Hey Ya.
	And that's the only picture that comes up.
	It's the one photo from Hey Ya.
	The one photo with this big sweet grin.
	And I just want to meet the person... Acoustic guitar picking up.
	Super green shirt.
	Bottom frame.
	Yeah.
	I just want to meet the person who both loves Andre 3000 and hates Obama.
	Well, see, that's like, uh... That's... Andre 3000 is like a good representation of, like, sensitive masculinity.
	You know, he's, he's, uh... He's not your typical tough guy, but he's also, like, still singing about, like, fucking women and stuff.
	And he also has, like, multiple children, so you know he's, you know, virile.
	Well, I think the Hey Ya!
	video in general, it kind of like, you know, there's different types of masculinity you can choose from all the Andre 3000 characters that are on the stage.
	There's like the cool dude bassist guy, and there's like the nerdy and sensitive keyboard player.
	That's true, I haven't seen that video in a long time.
	Which Andre are you?
	The real bad news for Johnny Vulture is though, I don't know about you, but I've never seen Andre 3000 and Obama in the same room together.
	The infamous hip-hop picture?
	Guess who's on that photo?
	Andre 3000.
	That's weird.
	I'd probably put Andre 3000 in there before Obama.
	I don't see what Obama has to do with hip-hop.
	Seems kind of racist.
	The White House hip-hop picture.
	I'm just really glad that Obama was our first gay president.
	I'm thankful.
	This take intrigues me because Obama made people think this stuff is okay.
	If you're in the right wing, if you're part of this, like, right wing internet hive mind, like, the thing about Obama is that Michelle is trans.
	Michelle is a trans woman.
	Yes.
	Michael.
	Michael.
	So I guess that, like, technically, in their eyes, makes Obama gay, to, like, the reactionary mind, it would make Obama gay.
	But that's not what Obama's really known for.
	Like, gay marriage was legalized under him, but he was like a late... he was late to the party for gay marriage?
	No, he wasn't completely on board from day one.
	Yeah, he slept on that shit.
	Yeah, he really did.
	I think he might have even campaigned...
	Saying that he didn't believe in gay marriage.
	I don't remember when he- I don't remember when he changed his mind.
	He campaigned saying he was gonna do it, he was supposed to do it the first term.
	And he slept on that shit, and uh, that was like one of the- I remember that being, even in my like, you know, dumb young mind, I was like pretty salty about that one.
	It was one of his half promises that he like, figured out he could just sneak in there and it worked out, but he didn't really care about it because he could have done it day one.
	Yeah, like, there's so many things about Obama, but, like, him being gay is not really... Yeah.
	That's not really the main one.
	Like, you would think, like, Ellen would come up for these people, or... Yeah, this is Ellen's fault.
	Actually, Ellen, I think, would be, like, is the one gay person that, um...
	That's what homophobic conservatives actually like.
	Is it?
	I feel like she's kind of like, she's happy, she's smiling, she's dancing, she's non-threatening, she's like, comes on in the middle of the day.
	See, Ellen is the one gay person I'm homophobic against.
	She like makes makes politicians dance Yeah, I'm just kidding.
	I'm just kidding, but I but I I mean Ellen's cool But like I Jen that's genuinely like the worst moment of any campaign when they go on to Ellen and they have to dance Hillary whips and Nene's She is bizarre, though.
	Like, she definitely was embraced by, um, like, early on by people who I know for sure are, like, bigots.
	You know, it's strange.
	I have, like, family that was like, oh, I really, I, I, I, maybe I need to re-watch her sitcom.
	Yeah.
	But they, like, love the sitcom so much, they were like, well, I guess she's not that bad.
	Yeah.
	Based off the character you played on the show.
	Well, I think it's... That became her.
	I don't want to speak out of turn or anything, but I think it's like...
	You know, oh, she didn't make her sexuality a big deal for, like, the 30 years of her life that she was closeted.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, it's cool.
	She wasn't rubbing it in our faces by being herself.
	And so we knew she was cool, and then she can come out and say she's cool.
	She didn't start wearing sneakers until, like, the, you know, late 90s.
	That was a bridge too far, by the way.
	Oh yeah, we get James saying, sort of Obama-ish.
	Andre 3000 Avatar, definitely favorite Outkast song is Bombs Over Baghdad, which he completely misinterprets.
	Okay, next slide.
	Oh yeah, we get James saying, "sort of Obama-ish." Again.
	I don't know, is there even like an infamous...
	Is there even a picture of Obama like embracing another man anywhere?
	Like in like a tender way?
	I don't think there is.
	There probably should be.
	There's pictures of him with like his supposed gay lover in college.
	There's like pictures of him like with another guy.
	I'm trying to remember if I've seen him.
	And I know I just got through saying that Obama's not gay like that wasn't a thing.
	But it's a minor thing relative to all the other things about Obama.
	Like, he used to smoke crack and, like, be gay in college.
	Yeah, he did both.
	We don't know which caused which, but, you know, something happened there.
	We don't know if the chicken or the egg came first.
	I wonder, like, which tack this comment is taking.
	Like, it's sort of Obama-ish.
	Like, is he replying to Andre 3000 or is he saying, like, hey, that's sort of Obama-ish?
	Like, what's full Obama, is my question.
	Like, how do you go full Obama, according to James?
	I'll tell you this much, they wouldn't have been as committed in, uh...
	If they were being full Obama, they wouldn't have been so committed in the photo, in the video.
	They would have been a little more cold about it.
	I think I just read in the Minion Death Commandos Facebook group that people are putting that red X as their avatar to denote that they've been silenced by the media for being conservative.
	Well, here we are, giving him a voice.
	Yeah, well, and it's a great thing to, like, put in your avatar that we're seeing right now about how you're being silenced.
	That's totally working.
	It's just, it's, yeah, it's like that right-wing politician putting a fucking bullseye on her face, saying, this is what it's like being a conservative.
	This is me, this is my life.
	It's like, yeah, because it's a... What is the joke?
	Because it's a fake bullseye and you put it there yourself?
	Exactly.
	So, yeah, it is like being conservative.
	Okay, this was yours, Matt.
	Okay, well, uh, this is insane.
	But, uh, this internet age group sure are softies.
	It's no wonder they like to kill themselves.
	Man up.
	Millennials, they just love killing themselves.
	Holy shit.
	As a millennial, I kill myself every day.
	Yeah.
	This is a, yeah, rotten comment, rotten person.
	Can't even be bothered to get an avatar, just the, uh, just the automatic H for Harley 5571.
	Why do you think it's just insane that, like, something this malicious would come out of, like, an article about, like, two men embracing each other?
	Yeah.
	You know?
	This isn't quite Minions Law, but it's close.
	It's close to Minions Law, yeah.
	Minion's Law, are you familiar with Godwin's Law?
	It's like every comment section on the internet, if it goes on long enough, the probability of it reaching a Nazi comparison is like 100%.
	Like it approaches 100% as the conversation goes.
	Well, Minion's Law is the same thing, but for murdering unarmed civilians.
	In a boomer comment section, as the comments go on, the likelihood that someone will reference taking up arms against their neighbor approaches 100%.
	Okay.
	And we've really yet to see it be disproven, and this kind of goes with that.
	Basically saying, like, either man yourselves or go ahead and do it.
	No, it was like, oh, you scratched Betsy DeVos' boat?
	Civil War time.
	That's it.
	That's what did it.
	The Boston Tea Party of 2018 is unhooking Betsy DeVos' yacht.
	Yeah.
	No, the Boston Tea Party is hooking it back up, like swimming out with your five 70-year-old geriatric friends and trying to pull Betsy DeVos' yacht back to harbor.
	That's like the stand.
	In full revolutionary regalia, I would add.
	Yeah.
	The best part about this is it shows how terribly misinformed people are about concepts like gender and whatnot.
	There is not a large difference between suicide rates between people identify as male or female.
	You're talking about the last... Yeah, the man up part.
	The part that really puts a pin to this shitstorm.
	Being a man does not make you less susceptible to killing yourself.
	That's so insane and so backwards.
	To the point where if you think about the most famous suicides, the majority of them are men.
	Like, this is not even, this is just a weird... Well, you could argue that, uh, more men are famous than women because of the patriarchy.
	True.
	It's me being, like, more woke than you right there.
	But still, like, it's pretty obvious that's not, that's not a factor in...
	Yeah, it's just so sad and stupid.
	Somebody one time told this guy, like, hey man, I'm not feeling good.
	I'm done.
	I'm fucking over it.
	And the response was like, oh, it's cool.
	He'll be fine.
	He'll man up.
	He'll go, hey, just go drink some whiskey and rub some dirt in it.
	Manic depression?
	Walk it off.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Walk it off.
	Um, yeah, I mean, like, ask any incel or, like, male rights activist.
	Like, they'll be the first fuckin' person to tell you that suicide is a male epidemic.
	I mean, it is, you know, it is.
	Just because it's them advocating for it doesn't mean it's not true.
	But, uh, yeah.
	It's not feminists...
	Who are telling you to kill yourselves.
	It's other men.
	It's not feminists who say, don't seek treatment.
	Treatment is for pussies.
	It's Harley 555.
	Yeah.
	Telling you to man up.
	Oh wait, hold on.
	That might be Harley Quinn and we might have this backwards.
	Oh, plot twist.
	Hey, she is pretty twisted.
	Yeah.
	She's a wild card.
	She would say something like this.
	Yeah.
	I love also the idea of their softies.
	They just killing themselves.
	Like, do you know how hard it is to kill yourself?
	It's not an easy thing to do.
	Not for a softie, by any means.
	Also, what is this internet age?
	Like, they just don't know the word millennial, I guess, yet?
	Because they would have used it if they could have.
	That's a good point.
	Because I hate to tell you this, but Harley, you're actually the internet age.
	You're who we would call the internet age because you don't know what to call things that are the internet age.
	You're the one who gets the email and is like, this must be a truth.
	I have to share this truth with 10 of my followers or else it becomes fake news.
	I got bad news for you, Harley.
	All you need is 100 subscribers on YouTube.
	You hear that, guys?
	100 subscribers on YouTube.
	Gotta get it.
	And you will have a verified URL.
	Oh!
	We didn't even plug the new video.
	So, uh... It might be good for the second segment.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Cool.
	We're gonna plug a video, you guys.
	You guys wait.
	You just wait on... You're not ready for the video yet.
	You better stay tuned in.
	Gotta prime you for this pump.
	Saul's back!
	Saul is back!
	Free LGBTQ advertisement sold here.
	Love this comment.
	Love how dumb this comment is.
	I love how he finally cracked the code.
	Finally cracked the gay code.
	We pour hundreds of millions of dollars into Yahoo specifically to write articles like this one.
	This is it.
	We got free advertisement for sale.
	Get your free advertisement.
	Yeah.
	Pay now.
	Pay for the free.
	Yeah.
	It's a great comment.
	Now, Saul's just too busy commenting to read his own comments.
	I was really bummed though, because I actually messaged Saul.
	I wanted to know if he could help me out, because I have a... It's basically just, like, a queer-friendly travel agency, and I was hoping he could help me out with some ad revenue, and maybe we can put some stuff out there.
	Oh.
	Saul was no help, so he's not...
	I thought he was saying he had free advertisement, but I guess not.
	He's just full of shit.
	They did a typo on this comment.
	It's supposed to be, free LGBTQ advertisement sold?
	Yep.
	Here.
	It's supposed to be a fist emoji right there.
	I'll punch it all.
	Yeah.
	Okay, Tony, you want to read this one?
	Nope.
	I'm good.
	Okay, I'll do it.
	As the gay in the room, I'll go ahead and say it.
	These dudes are faggots and it's okay with me.
	Oh man.
	God bless them.
	Standing ovation for William Chavarria.
	Yeah, he was, you know, he's just almost there.
	So close.
	Just, you know, just almost there.
	Like he wants to, you know, you can tell he wants to like, you know, Express solidarity and like offer support, but he just he just couldn't Couldn't shy away from using that word.
	I think this it's just like edginess.
	It's just edgelord bullshit It's like South Park bullshit, right?
	No, yeah, no f-words.
	Those are the guys who rev their bikes real loud.
	Yeah Yeah, Williams the guy who's just kind of like oh no, I can use that word.
	It just means like a stupid person Yeah It's fine, yeah.
	Why are you mad?
	You know, what's going on?
	Like, where are you going?
	I'm actually calling him a bundle of sticks.
	I'm actually saying that.
	That's what I'm saying.
	You've never been called that?
	You know this person saying to me, guys, like, no, like, I'm totally, like, I don't care if you're gay.
	Just, like, just don't hit on me.
	Yeah.
	Like, it's fine, but just don't hit on me, though.
	Like, keep that shit away from me.
	Like anything would ever do that.
	Yeah.
	So no one's hitting on you, like, ever.
	For a straight man, that's a pretty big shoe collection in your avatar there, William.
	Oh, that's what that is, huh?
	I was kind of wondering what that was.
	It was sort of like a sun-looking kind of situation.
	Don't think that's a gay thing.
	I feel like this sneaker culture is not the most, um... Not the most woke.
	Yeah, I'm gonna say it.
	Senior culture, you're not the most woke.
	And that's why I sold my collection.
	Had nothing to do with the economy.
	You're right.
	Can I read this one?
	Go for it.
	Shannon C says, "Something just not right about that picture.
	Sorry, but I'm happy neither one of those men are my sons." My sons never embrace anyone, and I love it.
	My sons are so cold.
	They're so cold.
	Yeah.
	My sons are men who do not hug each other.
	They show no emotion.
	They're good big boy sons.
	My gargantuan sons.
	My sons only show interest in my daughters.
	See, I feel safe around my sons because every time I look at that hole in the wall they put, I know they have the ability to protect me.
	I don't know if, uh... What were we saying here?
	You're saying if your sons were baseball players, you'd probably be pretty well off.
	Yeah, exactly.
	If your sons are professional baseball players, you're probably pretty happy that you're not bummed.
	We're saying that what was transpiring in the dugout wasn't gay.
	We're saying that what was transpiring in the dugout wasn't gay.
	We're not saying that it's gay.
	However, Shannon thinks it's gay.
	So, if your sons were Major League Baseball players who were both gay, who were willing to do stuff to each other on camera, you guys would be fucking milliona- like, forget about it.
	Yeah.
	Set for life.
	Incestuous gay baseball players?
	Like, that would be all you would see on Pornhub.
	There's a market for that.
	Absolutely.
	Absolutely there is.
	I'd watch that E!
	show.
	For sure.
	Actually, I like to imagine Shannon's funeral.
	When she's dead.
	And her two sons are like, hugging.
	And the ghost of Shannon is there screaming.
	Stop it!
	Stop it, be a man!
	But they can't hear him.
	They can't hear him.
	But their dad still sees him and he shames him in front of everybody.
	Just the whole casket flips over.
	I told you not to!
	Who taught you how to hug?
	Who taught you how to hug?
	See, my mom taught me how to hug.
	When you hug a person, you always grab them by the very low of their waist, of like, right above their buttocks.
	You know?
	And that way I know if I'm hugging it, it's gotta be a lady.
	You know?
	So, what do you mean?
	I always touch the, like, close to their butt as possible.
	Okay.
	Because I would never do that to a man.
	So it limits who I can hug.
	Oh, okay.
	Like, when a dude hugs me, I just, like, eye stamps.
	Like flex your arms out so they can't get their arms around yours?
	And sometimes if I try hard enough what I'll do is I'll like, I'll like focus and I'll like get an erection to push him away from me.
	Okay.
	That's what that was.
	I'm like, you get away.
	That's what that is.
	It's a... It's a prehensile erection.
	Back away.
	But never to grab, only to push.
	And that gives me like a good, you know... It's a tool.
	A little bit of room to feel safe.
	Yeah, right.
	It's a room for Jesus.
	That's exactly- that's actually what I call him.
	Call him Jesus.
	Alright, your turn, Matt.
	Sorry, Yahoo, I'm not laying my head in another man's lap, or letting another man lay his head in my lap.
	What a creepy thing to suggest as being normal.
	Sorry, Yahoo, not today.
	You almost got me.
	You've been lobbying real hard.
	You gave me to lay my head in another man's lap, but it's not going to happen today.
	57 Messier says no.
	I did see an article recently they put out that says, like, 12 men whose laps you want to put your head in, other men.
	That was good.
	That was a good one.
	It sucks though because they do like that carousel slideshow so like each item is a click for them.
	And yeah, oh it's so bad.
	And you gotta see all of them.
	And honestly I was just mad because like somehow they put Tom Hardy like above Armie Hammer and I'm like fuck out of here.
	Oh no.
	Yeah, I haven't seen Mission Impossible 3, but I've seen the previews.
	Eber's elbow was gonna be on there, but we all know why he wasn't.
	Did I just say 3?
	Isn't it like 13?
	There's gotta be at least 20 of them at this point, yeah.
	Thanks for reading my Eber's elbow dick joke.
	Do you want to do it again?
	Nah, it's cool.
	I'm just saying, they didn't put him on the list.
	I felt like I jumped in at a good point.
	They didn't put him on the list because he's got a big ol' dick and you don't want to put your head on his lap.
	Because of his dick.
	And it's just like always hard?
	It's just there, it's just always there.
	It'd be like a body pillow.
	Yeah.
	It'd be good.
	Idris Elba dick body pillow?
	Yeah.
	And you just like somehow know that it's Idris Elba's?
	Right.
	Yeah.
	You guys can buy those off my Etsy shop that I'm gonna get together by next week.
	What a creepy thing to suggest as being normal.
	Alright.
	So, so fucked.
	Okay.
	P says, figures Yahoo puddles up for some dugout gayness.
	Cause they're so known for that.
	I didn't even realize the layers of saying that Yahoo is puddling up.
	I love that phrase.
	I've never heard it before.
	I've never heard it.
	It's beautiful.
	It's not even sexy.
	He was definitely trying to say pedals.
	No.
	Like pedals it, but like.
	No, he's saying gets wet.
	He's either saying gets wet or cries.
	I was thinking get wet, but yeah.
	I was thinking get wet at first, but puddles up is a weird way to say cry if you're trying to be masculine.
	I think it is cry, only because I can't imagine leaning over to someone and saying, you're so puddled up right now.
	I'm just kidding.
	It's only weird when they say, yep.
	Hope you brought your rain boots.
	You gotta be a gentleman and puddle her up before.
	Do you lay your coat over the puddle?
	If you're a gentleman, yeah.
	If you want to be safe, yeah.
	Exactly.
	Look, it's the city, and you're walking home from a nice dinner, and you're puddling up.
	You gotta be the gentleman and put your coat down.
	Yeah, I love that.
	And then the next comment, anyone else want to read this?
	From Army1?
	Yeah.
	I mean, that's so gay, coupled with this extremely erotic picture of like a perfectly chiseled chest.
	Yeah, a hairless, chiseled chest.
	And it's like, you're not seeing a face, you're just seeing a chin and pecs.
	I think, you know, that's like a full Grindr profile right there.
	Absolutely, that's like 50% of like Grindr profile is just like a headless chest.
	Like, I genuinely think this is, like, a joke.
	I genuinely think this is... This is, like, uh... This is ironic.
	I don't know.
	I hope so.
	It's not even the chest.
	It's the collarbones that are just making me puddle up.
	Those collarbones are crazy.
	You don't just pick this picture.
	No.
	It's not a fitness picture.
	It's the picture of just like the Peck Valley.
	Like the Peck Valley that nobody has.
	You know what I mean?
	I totally have that under this shirt.
	And the chin, the strong chin, and an army of one.
	Like, it's either a joke or an army guy.
	And with that, might be a gay army guy.
	That might be him.
	And if it is, we need to make this an army of two.
	Better change that name.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's just great.
	It's just great.
	It did get a couple thumbs up and a couple replies.
	It has mixed results actually, yeah.
	I think some people saw through it and they were like, no, you don't mean it.
	Sure.
	You don't mean it.
	You're not actually, you don't actually not like gay people.
	Right.
	Okay, uh, Saul is back.
	He, this is probably like his, like, 13th comment on this article alone.
	Um, he says, Thank you, Trump.
	I just became a Republican because of this story and burned my burn sticker.
	Got just another successful, uh, another successful walk away.
	Burned?
	It should have been burned my Sanders sticker.
	Yeah, I just think it's... what an incredible moment for this person.
	Like, he was just teetering, just on the edge, just like, should I or shouldn't I?
	Finally saw an article about two grown men, baseball players, like, being tender with each other, helping each other out, and that's what made him become a Republican.
	Yeah, it's a silly dude who hasn't had his mind made up for 50 years.
	No, yeah, I got bad news for you guys.
	This is actually, um, what, uh, we refer to in the business as fake news.
	Oh.
	Um, those two replies, one of those replies is, is, I think, actually said, like, like, nuh-uh, I look through your posts and you've been a conservative for a long time.
	Yeah, you know how I knew this guy was a conservative?
	Because I looked at this post.
	Yeah, exactly.
	So I looked at this dumbass post.
	This fucking idiotic post with an American flag.
	This should say hashtag walk away.
	Because this is literally... Have you guys heard... Matt, have you heard of this?
	The walk away campaign?
	I think I might have heard a little bit about it.
	It's a fake campaign that's going viral because thousands of liberals are walking away from the Democratic Party over like...
	Like Maxine Waters, because Maxine Waters is crazy.
	And if you go to these campaigns, this hashtag, it's all just Republicans.
	It's all just Republicans saying like, I walked away from the Democrats when I went to Africa and got scared of black children.
	Yeah, that's a real one.
	That's a real one we ran on the show.
	She said she paid some of the kids to be her bodyguards and she turned beggars into entrepreneurs.
	Yeah, real shit.
	It's amazing.
	Yeah, but it's all just fake.
	This comment is no more fake than any of those.
	What's the endgame of the walkaway campaign?
	To make a lot of money.
	Dude's making a lot of money.
	Oh wow.
	It's like your grandma donating to him to, like, use a hashtag.
	Yeah.
	As a permission to use the hashtag, basically.
	And also, not to, like...
	Be really shallow and superficial and stereotype people, but your name is like Saul.
	I feel like I've never met, you know, a progressive Saul.
	And if you're progressive Saul out there, you tell all your friends to download MiniDeathCult and listen to us.
	Just, yeah, insult you.
	And if you don't do that, you are who you don't think you are.
	You are the enemy.
	I like this tag.
	I like this promotional gimmick.
	We're gonna try that.
	We're gonna... fear.
	Okay, this is a lot, too.
	Sean says, "Inappropriate.
	If this was a man and a woman, there'd be claims of sexual harassment." Of course.
	I mean, you know, with every article like this, there's always like one person, at least one person who's like, what about if the roles were reversed?
	Yeah.
	How come whenever I hug a woman it's sexual harassment?
	There was that one, um, that one woman who was saying that like she was having a hard time and somebody was really supportive of her and like consoled her in her time of need.
	Remember that case, that really big case in Hollywood?
	Oh yeah, absolutely.
	Yeah, that's like never happened.
	Because in the women's cases, like, while they're, like, massaging their head, they're also, like, somehow trying to grab their butt to, like, make them feel better about their mom dying.
	Mm-hmm.
	You know, and it's like, get the fuck out of here.
	Where are you reading these articles at?
	Um, what's that Republican congressman, Jim Jeffries?
	Jim Jordan.
	Jim Jordan.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, no.
	Oh, we come down on Jim Jordan.
	For looking the other way during sexual harassment, but we're all looking the other way when this shit happens.
	We're just watching this happen.
	On TV.
	I mean, like, there's probably people out there that felt sexually assaulted by having to watch two people be close to each other.
	Why are you putting this in my face?
	Yeah.
	Listen, I don't care who you are, just don't be that way whenever anyone has a camera around you.
	Yeah.
	Please just don't subject me to your existence.
	And then, yeah, last one.
	The mea culpa.
	Just the grim realization from Chris.
	Yep.
	We clicked on this.
	Yep.
	We did it.
	Out of all the anger.
	Out of all the puddling up.
	All the gnashing of teeth.
	It's our own fault.
	We did it to ourselves.
	Yeah.
	And the other day you clicked on it.
	Had to do it to us?
	Had to do it to myself?
	Damn it, we did it to ourselves.
	I like this because it's taking ownership of the fact that you were triggered.
	It's good.
	Okay, let's move on to the next topic.
	Just a beautiful change of pace.
	Okay, we'll stop recording.
	I think of it as Mimi because I'm like, who wants another meme?
	Mimi!
	Mimi, I'm the meme man.
	Alright, we're back.
	Matt had to leave.
	Nothing to do with his job or being associated with terrible people like ourselves or the sensitivity around this next segment.
	It was a completely unrelated matter.
	He had to go.
	We thank him very much for being on the show.
	Well, if it makes you feel any better, viewers, listeners, what actually happened was, is on camera, um, Matt hugged his partner and they had to go.
	They had to go.
	So the cops came and, um, removed him from the premises and, uh, free Matt.
	Yeah.
	Luckily the cops in this town still working.
	Which is a segue to our next topic from ABC News here.
	We have a story wherein entire police department resigns.
	What?
	A whole department?
	A whole police department.
	Saying town seemingly cares so little about us.
	Goddamn shame.
	In the first paragraph, all four members of a police department resigned suddenly and without notice, saying they could no longer work for a town that, yeah, etc.
	Yeah.
	No, I love this.
	This is worker solidarity in action.
	Yep.
	I'm compelling cops everywhere to walk out in solidarity with this department.
	Resign now.
	Or be a scab for life.
	Listen, no one's free until we're free to do whatever the hell we want and make sure other people aren't free.
	But until then, we're not free.
	You know who would make a great strike blockade?
	All those prisoners you got locked up in there.
	Am I right?
	Put them to work, you know what I'm saying?
	Like, just bring them out of the cage and say, hey dudes, we need your help.
	And they'll be like, hell yeah, proletariat, rise up.
	Yeah, we got you.
	Yeah, we're all gamers here, rise up.
	Like, I'm sure they all play games.
	Exactly, yeah, yeah, this is just like the real deal.
	This story is so fucking funny.
	It's great because, like, who... Who do we predict deplorables are gonna care about?
	It's a toss-up, right?
	It's a toss-up, much like last week.
	It's a very interesting conundrum.
	Do we care about religious freedom, or do we care about, like, political overreach?
	You know?
	Yeah.
	Or do we care about cops?
	At this point, you know, it's not... Do you... Are they... Are they, like...
	Picking the lesser of two evils, or are they like picking the more of the two righteous?
	It's that one.
	It's that one.
	Because it's like, oh, government officials quitting the dole?
	Getting off that government teat?
	I love it.
	I'm into it.
	Or is it cops sticking up for themselves?
	Standing up to an underfunded government?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's difficult, because they need our support, man.
	I love just entire police department resigns at once and it's just four people.
	Yeah, just four guys.
	It's like, that police station right there, it's like packing the president and vice president on the same plane.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yep, exactly.
	All four members blah blah blah, the four officers, including interim police chief Roberta Sarnacki, notified the community select board by email Monday night.
	I mean, that kind of rules, like, just email your boss that you quit.
	Like, don't even come in.
	I would like to apologize for my statement earlier when I said these four guys, Roberta, sorry about that.
	I meant to say these four dudes.
	These four cop bros.
	I'm sorry, if you're a cop, you're like a cop bro.
	I don't care what you present as, you're definitely a bro cop.
	If Roberta hadn't been fired, or hadn't quit, she definitely would have been fired for wearing, like, a Proud Boys thong online or something, you know?
	I just pictured a Proud Boys thong, and that's, like, a Fred Perry thong with, like, the yellow stripe.
	And what sucks is that's fucking tight!
	And they ruined it!
	And it makes me so mad!
	It would be pretty tight, like a black thong with, like, yellow piping around the edges.
	Yeah, that'd be so cool!
	Yeah.
	It's got the little filigree thing on the front.
	Little Fred Perry filigree.
	Yeah.
	They cited safety issues, say that five times fast, and insufficient remuneration, cruisers with shoddy brakes, ill-fitting, like you don't need Antifa in this town.
	Yeah, it's all disintegrating anyways.
	City Council sounds pretty badass to me.
	Cruisers with shoddy brakes.
	Ill-fitting ballistic vests.
	Okay, is it that the ballistic vests are ill-fitting, or is it that these cops are like ill-fitting for the vest?
	The wrong size for the vest?
	Yeah, totally.
	Yeah.
	I don't know if we're calling them like fat or skinny, but either way, whichever one they're taking offense to, that's what I'm calling them.
	Well, I'm saying they're piggish, you know, in nature.
	Oh, okay.
	Because see, me, I'm like what you would call skinny fat, so I'm just between...
	I would never call you skinny fit.
	I would, I would embrace it.
	I'm trying to embrace it.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	I'd probably just call you the fucking big-ass dude.
	Aw, thank you.
	Yeah, but like, height-wise, you know?
	And girth.
	True, true.
	Strong.
	I've been described as thick.
	Yeah.
	Not from the back, though.
	Lacking in the cheeks.
	Faulty radios.
	Can't get fucking CCR.
	Worth a damn.
	Understaffing and low pay.
	Faulty radials like AM, FM.
	Get out of here.
	I wish.
	You know, cause when I'm on the phone with my mom, who lives in kind of a crazy area, 20 minutes of this 25 minute conversation is, can you hear me now?
	Can you hear me now?
	I'm going to move right here.
	Can you hear me?
	I can't hear you.
	I can't hear you.
	I hope they suffer through that every day for like really urgent things.
	No, yeah, that would be great.
	Like, what's the address?
	Got nothing.
	Can't hear you.
	Nothing.
	Nothing.
	Sorry.
	I'll just wait here.
	Yeah.
	Just wait here until you get it.
	I know I'm good.
	I'm not going to move.
	You call me back.
	Just like using Morse code by like clicking the thing.
	We refuse to put our lives on the line anymore for a town that seemingly cares so little about us, the officer said in a media statement.
	I just love it.
	Just so fucking, so petty about this.
	This town that has gotten along with four officers for so long is a life and death situation for said officers.
	Sounds like they're pretty self-sufficient.
	Yeah.
	Sounds like they got things handled.
	I feel like they just quit the most chill job.
	Yeah, that's a really good point.
	I feel like they had a job where they were able to say, like, like, God damn it, Joe, just put it down!
	Just put the gun down!
	And they'd be like, okay, and then you see him at dinner the next day.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you're only saving one cat per day.
	Like, no one watched the Andy Griffith Show and thought, like, oh, he needs to be paid more.
	They just thought, he has a lovely, charming life.
	Uh, he did need to get paid more though.
	I mean, come on.
	Just these desks are wearing out from putting my heels up there every night.
	My heels are wearing out from putting all the desk up there.
	The officers, blah blah blah.
	Okay, none of this.
	Honestly, it was a surprise for us that the police chose to walk out.
	Latendra told the station, Massachusetts State Police released a statement saying it will continue to provide police protection to Blanford.
	So, state cops coming in.
	Crossing that picket line.
	Which really ruined my master plans of moving to a town that has no cops to, you know, open up my criminal ring.
	I was gonna really start pushing weight through there.
	All the illegal things.
	Isn't that the plot to like an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie?
	Oh, it has to be.
	Last Stand?
	That's actually the origins of Terminator.
	That all started because some police force was underappreciated.
	Yeah necessity breeds invention of the t2 Okay, so first comment here One of the top comments this this comment section was real fun because like Anarchists and socialists and communists got their hands on it, and we're just like having a ball in the comment section so the top comment was like A dude who said he was a pizza delivery driver, and he was like, I gotta fix my own fucking car, why can't they fix theirs?
	True, true story.
	Which I love, it's a good take, it's a real good take.
	Hey, why don't they man up and fix their cars?
	Uh, yeah.
	So, Manette Cox replies, from your statement, I fully understand why you deliver pizzas.
	So this is a common, like, reply to the guy, like, Clearly you're a pizza delivery driver because you're such a fucking idiot with this comment.
	Yeah.
	These are all people who think cops are smarter than pizza delivery guys, which is hilarious to me.
	Yep.
	You know you have to be dumb to be a cop, right?
	Yeah, it's part of the whole thing.
	It's part of the test.
	You have to take a dumb test to be a cop.
	You can test out of the cops.
	It's an option.
	Yeah, I just went straight to cops too.
	I tested out They promoted me I went I jumped the line and went straight to Police Academy 4 Well, see, they knew I was too smart for this, so they gave me a security job.
	Might I also add, Manette Cox asks if she can add, thank you for being employed.
	So, great, great, weird, weird take.
	You're welcome for wanting to live.
	This is the same exact comment as, jobs are great!
	Yep.
	Did we add a couple episodes of you?
	Just like the nonsense that comes out of people's mouths.
	Yeah.
	Thank you for being employed.
	The things that we're expected to be grateful for is so crazy.
	Like people, I have a job that I got, y'all remember when I didn't have a job?
	So, on to job number six, and this one's like a good one, right?
	It's like a good one.
	In the sense that I have things like, I have benefits now, and I have a 401k.
	Well, I say you got one benefit, which is having a job.
	That's the most important thing.
	Am I right?
	And people are like, yeah, that's right.
	That's what's important.
	But then I'm like, yeah, but I still can't pay my motherfucking bills.
	And I have like two.
	I have like two bills and I can't pay them shits.
	It's crazy.
	My favorite benefits from my job are self-satisfaction, integrity, the respect of my wife.
	I like that I can wake up every morning and look in the mirror and know that I'm earning what I don't have.
	Right.
	Those are fringe benefits.
	Yeah, the Army is hiring too, FYI.
	Cool, get paid slightly more maybe than a pizza delivery guy?
	And also die?
	I want to almost like legit try to sign up for the Army because I know they won't take me now at this point.
	Just so I can say that I tried.
	Rub it in everyone's face.
	Maybe I should call Vice and make a reality show out of this and we can finally get paid.
	That would rule.
	Vice would definitely do that.
	Dear Vice, I have a hilarious idea.
	We could pretend that I'm a white supremacist.
	You know, pretend.
	And be like, this African American man does a podcast with a white supremacist?
	How does that work?
	You know, he sounds like a real millennial, but he's not down to join the army.
	Like, that's a legit Vice article.
	It's like, this neo-Nazi married a black woman, and then slowly became not a Nazi anymore.
	Because she fucked him enough.
	That's how it works.
	I just figured if I put a down on him every once in a while, I could just...
	Jody Powers Sanchez says Snowflake Pigs and her avatar is a young lady facing down a riot cop and this doesn't look like a stock photo.
	I don't think they make that stock photo.
	Right?
	It's gotta be a real photo.
	Yeah, they don't make stock photos.
	As crazy as stock photos are, if you go to Shutterstock and you Google Combating fascism, still nothing comes up.
	You know?
	Smash the patriarchy, nothing's gonna come up.
	But if you're like...
	Grandma cutting kids with a butcher knife.
	That comes up.
	Oh yeah, absolutely.
	No, yeah, I'm picturing like a burning limo with like the Shutterstock crosshairs over it, you know?
	Well, because I mean, how else do you like find gnarly images of millennials?
	That's what Shutterstock's for, is creating them.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that or Instagram, right?
	Okay, next comment.
	Replying to Jody Powers Sanchez, who says, Snowflake pigs!
	Nancy Zucker Brain says, what is it with the word snowflake that you trumpeteers love so much?
	I guess it's trumpeters.
	Yeah, I like trumpeteers though.
	The three trumpeteers.
	Yeah.
	I think it's old.
	I was like punching it up as I was reading.
	I think it's old already and immediately puts the user into a category of the ignorant and uninformed.
	Very sad.
	It's just like talking like Trump in your anti-Trump comment.
	Sad.
	It's so transparent and so misinformed.
	It's so great.
	It's obvious that the first person was not a trumpeter.
	Not a trumpeteer.
	A trumpetee.
	That's not what they are.
	Maybe Nancy thought that Jody Powers was the riot cop in that photo?
	Oh, that's a possibility.
	Yeah, maybe.
	But what definitely happened was they read the word snowflake and stopped reading and that was it.
	Even though pigs is in all caps.
	Right.
	Yeah, just like, I don't know, just not knowing what the word pig means.
	Yeah, something.
	I think it's old already.
	Ignorant.
	It's ignorant when you call us snowflakes.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Us pigs.
	And then Claire Rose Caldwell in this same thread says, Nancy, because they don't have the intellect to actually come up with a rational and well thought out response for debate.
	Ellipses.
	Holy shit.
	The logic in that comment.
	The diction.
	You can't argue facts.
	It's just, uh, everyone knows that in order for a fact to be a fact that has to have so many syllables.
	Yeah.
	That's just math.
	You ever, like, see a fuckin' sucker and you just gotta do one of those because they don't have the intellect to actually come up with a rational and well-thought-out response for debate to him?
	I actually used that exact line in a rap battle the other day.
	I was in an MC battle with some friends and I just smoked them all with that one.
	I always come up with well-thought-out responses for debates.
	And then Brandy Elson replies, Sorry, but we quote, Trumpsters, as you call us, aren't the cop haters.
	That Jody chick is a crybaby liberal thug who is obviously unable to come up with her own words.
	She can't come up with her own cool, her own cool disses like snowflakes.
	Hey, don't appropriate my Trump culture, okay?
	Oh my god.
	No, trust me, Democrats are perfectly capable of coming up with their own cringy insults.
	Facts.
	Like, what, Trumpanzy?
	Ooh, that's a good one, yeah.
	Don't associate that trash with my party.
	So literally, like, the smartest person in this comment section, the Trump supporter.
	Is a garbage person.
	Yeah.
	Oh, man.
	I also love the concept of a crybaby thug.
	No, it's beautiful.
	This person saw Just watched the baseball clip and saw two dark men, you know, cuddling and said, look at those crybaby thugs.
	No, I mean there was like, I'm just remembering this now, but there was a meme of Obama in a diaper and it said on the diaper, it said thuggies.
	Yes.
	So literally like a crybaby thug.
	I'm pretty sure thuggies was like a living color skit.
	Sure.
	And they were like boxer.
	If not, then we need to redo living color and get me on the writing staff.
	Again, just trying to get paid.
	We're just trying to get paid.
	Yeah, no.
	Crybaby, Liberal, Thug, Snowflake, Lib... Just like, all the mush in this person's brain coming out at once.
	Yeah.
	Uh, Mike Anthony Dotson.
	I'm gonna say his name.
	We got Mike Dotson here.
	Nobody cares.
	Nobody cares.
	Dotson over here.
	Community-Based Protection, LMFAO.
	So this was a response to somebody on our side.
	Beautiful young man, can't remember his name.
	Said, good.
	Good that these cops quit.
	Now the community can start enforcing its own protection and organizing around what the community actually needs.
	Community-Based Protection, is what they said.
	Mike Anthony Dodson replies, Community-Based Protection, LMFAO.
	Who still does that?
	Yeah.
	Who still does all of that?
	Uh, the group LMFAO.
	Yeah, that's it.
	That's who does it.
	Welcome, okay, LMFAO, quote, Welcome to the Wild Wild West, people.
	Kill or be killed.
	Because who needs police, right?
	And yeah, my response to this was just like, yeah, if...
	You hear about the absence of police and your mind immediately jumps to kill or be killed like you might be the psychopath.
	Exactly.
	You might be the ones who are the dangerous ones.
	No, I think what this person is recalling is, I do think that we need to know our history so we don't repeat history.
	And I remember watching this documentary about this town in the Wild West.
	Um, where basically there was, like, no law.
	There was just a couple of outlaw law people.
	And, um, this man was able to build a giant spider.
	A mechanical spider, and just wreaked havoc around the towns, and it was awful.
	That sounds like a particularly wild Wild West.
	It was a wild Wild West.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it was crazy times.
	I love this, like, no police, guess we better purge.
	Guess we're just purging tonight.
	Like, the Law and Order party would definitely be the first people to start raids.
	Oh, absolutely.
	Definitely be the first militia, first posse rounding up stragglers.
	Yeah, exactly.
	If kill or be killed.
	What is going to be the criteria of who dies?
	It's the same thing with, you know, this, like, white panic about white genocide.
	Like, it's all just, uh, subconscious desire to eliminate the other coming, you know, it's projection.
	It's projection about what your ass has wanted to do to the other for so long and the fear of that happening to you.
	Speaking of, um, speaking of white genocide, um, I just celebrated the, uh, the fifth anniversary of my, of my contribution to white genocide.
	Happy birthday, baby.
	I love you.
	Happy fifth birthday.
	Um, we gonna, we gonna make them all brown.
	Uh, does miscegenation count if, uh, it's like a mixed race couple?
	I mean, if it's a same-sex couple?
	Is it not miscegenation anymore?
	As long as they, like, adopt somebody and influence them with, like, lots of cultures, I don't know.
	Like, would old-timey racists, like, they would still be against that.
	Oh, they would still be against it, yeah.
	I mean, they would be against letting them be around kids in the first place, so yeah.
	Before you know it, all the kids are going to know how to dance.
	It's going to be crazy.
	Kelly Bally says, uh, and we are going to see this happen more and more.
	So like cops quitting and we're going to see this happen more and more.
	If we don't start showing our officers how much they are appreciated and that we care about their safety too.
	So like, Oh no.
	Can you, can you, can you imagine the poor brokenhearted soul that has a blue, a blue, blue lives matter, like strip across the back of their truck in this town.
	Broken.
	Just crying like, I put this sticker on my car, that's how you gonna do me?
	I told you I loved you and you're just gonna come up and leave?
	What are you doing with only one car?
	Buy another car?
	Put another blue strip of painter's paint on it?
	I haven't watched a football game in a year!
	One year!
	I did that for you!
	What is it, like Keurig?
	They've like, destroyed a lot of Keurigs.
	You know how long it takes me to brew my coffee?
	I wish to have a pot every day.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Oh no, better start respecting and appreciating cops or else they'll all quit.
	I do also love the fact that we live in this world where... A society.
	We live in this society.
	We live in this democratic republic where there are millions of dollars, millions of dollars floating around.
	of profit from sales of Blue Lives Matter merchandise.
	Yet, cops lost their jobs because they couldn't be financially supported.
	Like, what if they just made a fuckin' shirt for this... What is this fuckin' name of the town?
	Blan... Blan... Blanton?
	It's Blanford.
	Blanford?
	What if we just made some Blanford Strong shirts?
	Make some Blanford Strong shirts.
	Make some milked-in wristbands.
	Put a goddamn filter over an American flag, Blanford Strong shirts, and then they can pay for their kid's school.
	Easily with the sales from that shirt.
	They were gonna be subsumed by the state police either way.
	That's what was gonna happen.
	Not if we sell enough shirts.
	Um, next comment.
	They should have written Gruntstyle and been like, listen, we need your help.
	Yeah.
	Adam would have done it to him.
	Adam wouldn't do shit.
	What's up, Adam?
	Still waiting for it.
	Jackie Young says, this is one of my favorite comments, priorities are all screwed up if they won't maintain the vehicles, vests, etc.
	I bet the teachers buy their own school supplies too.
	Pathetic.
	We're all going to have to protest something.
	Everything is so skewed right now.
	Uh, Jackie, again, you know, you're not wrong.
	We do need to protest the fact that teachers need to pay for loan supplies because that happens everywhere across the United States.
	Sure.
	So, you have this weird knowledge of this happening, but you are also think that the same fund is for cop cars?
	Yeah, well, no, I mean, it's like, it's a pretty lib take to love teachers and cops.
	That's super, well, who else?
	That's like centrist.
	That's like peak centrism.
	Dude, I...
	Yeah, yeah.
	Tony is like really sketchy.
	Really pushing, really pushing limits.
	Please get that tail in the frame.
	There it is.
	You're putting the camera out of focus.
	It's got to focus on your butt if it goes in front.
	There you go.
	Get out of here, Tony.
	So, I love the idea... We're all going to have to protest something.
	Just imagine starting a protest on behalf of cops and then immediately getting shot.
	Yep, just like immediately getting rammed with a cop car.
	Yep, because that could totally happen.
	Yeah, just getting fucking tear gassed to try and get them a raise.
	Yeah, I could see that.
	Also, it's just the same thing as the Proud Boys.
	It's like, let's go out and march in support of our president.
	Yeah, he needs our support.
	He needs our power, our manpower.
	I need to do the smallest tangent real quick.
	So, a local hero from our town... Are you familiar with what's going on with this person?
	So, a local hero from our town... The old bouncer from the bar that I was a bouncer at... Oh, yeah, dude!
	We can call him out.
	Oh, we're going to.
	Yeah, okay.
	He's recently become like a fucking...
	Someone who's being called out for being a piece of shit bigot.
	Kim Sargente.
	Yeah, yeah.
	This motherfucker.
	You could say he's like real proud of being a bigot.
	He's a proud boy.
	He's a, what is it, power prayer?
	Patriot prayer.
	He's a patriot prayer guy.
	He's definitely a proud boy.
	He was definitely a proud boy.
	He's the guy that's in Oregon like, he's one of the guys that was in Oregon floating around on Twitter and he wears like big ass oversized aviator sunglasses and he's super short.
	He's always worn them.
	Um, uh, yeah, he's always worn them, forever.
	Like, we know this guy from...
	Ooh.
	Okay, Tony.
	Tony messing up the lighting.
	God, God.
	You're lucky this is such a fun episode, Tony.
	You're lucky you're so beautiful, Tony.
	Uh, yeah, so this motherfucker...
	Uh, this guy sucks...
	So bad.
	For a long time.
	He's always sucked.
	He's always been a piece of shit.
	Our friend has a restraining order against him.
	Multiple women have restraining orders against him because he's an awful human.
	Yes, exactly.
	I'm looking at a picture of him with a filter over it that says, it's okay to be white.
	Yeah, he had another filter that said, I'm for putting kids in cages.
	Yeah, just like leaning into being a total cretin.
	So this motherfucker is such a piece of shit that there's a video of him in Oregon where he had just gotten an altercation with somebody on his side with the Proud Boys.
	This woman pepper sprayed him.
	Oh, is that what happened?
	Yeah, I saw that part.
	spray on him and he punched her because and then she went on to accuse him of saying no you're a leftist plant yeah i saw that part he's such a piece of shit they're like you there's no way you're with us you're here to make us look bad no and i want to say i want to say like kim uh he is a leftist he's he's a bigot you know on the left We're actually all bigots.
	We're like the real racists, you know what I mean?
	We're the real racists, yeah.
	But he is on the left, and we have implanted him with Patriot Prayer, with the Proud Boys.
	Don't tell anyone.
	His life may be in danger.
	It's a secret.
	Yeah, but this fucking piece of shit, man, it was just so... It was so crazy seeing one of these, like, viral-ish bigots being somebody that we not only know, but, like, Have problems with because he's always sucked.
	I mean he like, if he could have been a cop, he would have loved to have been a cop.
	But it just didn't work out for him.
	Instead he became a bouncer and the shittiest bouncer.
	Yeah it's great because like uh the the conversation is like they're bickering over which one of them is a leftist plant.
	It's it's pretty funny.
	Yeah it's pretty great.
	So sorry just speaking of um causing a riot that like shoot yourself in the foot.
	That's kind of what he's doing by being so bad at it.
	Yeah, it's kind of productive.
	So, fuck you, Kim.
	Fuck you forever.
	I'll say it to your face.
	I have said it to your face, so I'll do it again.
	Well, you're a bouncer with him, so you can say that.
	Never with him.
	I definitely took over for him, and every single day that I worked... Oh, you didn't work out, huh?
	Every single day that I worked there, people were just so grateful that it was me there and not him.
	Because he's such a piece of shit.
	Next comment here, Preon Evans says, love this take too, did they reach out to the community to have them all come together and write their local representatives?
	So like, this, to any normal person, this sounds like he's making fun of them, right?
	Yeah, it does, but it's not.
	It's like, it sounds like he's mocking him.
	Oh, did you write your congressperson?
	Yep.
	To keep your job?
	Yep.
	Because, yeah, that's a totally, like, effective thing you can do to not get fired.
	I would love a scenario where a cop comes up to me and says, Hey, so listen, I really need your support right now.
	We just need more money.
	I need you to write a letter in support of this.
	I would get shot for laughing too hard.
	It would happen.
	They would call my laughter a hate crime.
	He's reaching for his sides!
	He's already not breathing, so he's good.
	He can't breathe.
	Sounds like they took their work frustration out on the townspeople.
	You know, the people they're supposed to protect and serve.
	So this is like a liberal who's angry at the cops for abdicating their duties.
	I like this weird milquetoast take.
	I also like how they think this is how cops take out their frustrations on the community.
	Yeah, please do it this way more often.
	Now that I think about it, I remember calling back to it.
	I remember pulling up on the scene with my dad on the curb and the cops said, Listen, man, I've had, like, a long week.
	Dinner hasn't been ready all week when I got home.
	My fucking kids are listening to rap music.
	I didn't mean to do this.
	Sorry.
	I just had to take my frustrations out on your dad's arm.
	I've seen a lot of shit this week.
	Even today, like five minutes ago, I saw myself break this dude's arm.
	Like, it just put me in a real fucked up headspace.
	It's hard to watch.
	You don't get used to feeling the snap.
	You think you do?
	I keep on trying, hoping I get used to it, but I just can't get used to it?
	Hey man up, snowflake.
	That's what you told him?
	Yep.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Clifford D. Hampton says, I've been saying for a couple years, I think it's time our officers show the public what it's like without them.
	I think the military should do so as well.
	Again?
	Second that?
	Please?
	It's like these amazing, like...
	You want to talk about bipartisanship between the DSA and the right wing?
	Here we go.
	Here it is.
	Here we go.
	We can agree on this.
	We agree to abolish the police and ICE.
	Your side is doing it for spite and like to prove a point.
	Cool.
	You know what you should do?
	You should disband the military and the police force.
	That would really show America.
	Yeah, please.
	That would be so tight.
	Yeah, no.
	I love it.
	I feel like if I woke up tomorrow and there was no police force, I would like I have a sensation in my shoulders that is just attention being released.
	I don't know what it is.
	I wouldn't be able to lift my arm because I'm so relaxed.
	It would be crazy.
	Prison abolition to own the libs.
	Yeah, totally.
	I love this.
	When California released the non-violent offenders, right-wingers everywhere loved it.
	They loved it because they're so sure that California is going to get what's coming to it.
	So yeah, you could totally get Republicans to sign on to this.
	Totally, yeah.
	They weren't violent this time.
	You just wait.
	Just wait.
	What do you think the prison system does to them?
	Everyone knows that marijuana leads to violence.
	Last comment here from Flora Morton.
	We didn't get a lot of good profile pictures today, but this one's definitely counted among them.
	Flora Morton, who's like...
	Middle-aged woman, maybe a little older, wearing a straw hat, big ol' sunglasses.
	I can't tell if this is, like, this puka shell necklace for sure, right?
	Puka shell necklace, teal green blouse, and her own name written in, like, flowers and vines or maybe pipe cleaners above her head.
	Just chillin'.
	Just straight fuckin' chillin'.
	Hard.
	Uh, Flora Morton says, to blindly go where no cops have been before.
	Aloha to all!
	I don't know where to start.
	I just don't.
	It's... I don't know, it's just like some, like, deep cut Margaritaville, like, lore that I don't get.
	Okay, let's try to figure it out.
	So, to blindly go where no cops have been before.
	This could mean, like, a couple things.
	At least a couple things.
	Just, like, A, unemployment.
	Like, because if you're not a cop, then you're not a cop.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, you can't go there because you're not a cop anymore.
	Yeah, I mean, well, most times, like, cops, like, lose, like, can't have their jobs anymore.
	They still get, you know, paid leave.
	Yeah.
	Sorry, you'd have to kill a guy for that, but, you know, sometimes I've heard of that.
	Well, and also, like, plenty of cops have gone to just other police precincts, you know?
	Like, you get fired for, like, you know, assaulting a woman on duty or whatever, you just move over a little bit.
	Yeah, you just scoot over.
	Let's move over counties, maybe.
	But yeah, or to blindly go where no cops have been.
	I don't know, like into the great beyond.
	Just like straight up like, see you later.
	Maybe this is a reference to that Star Trek episode where they go to like the copless planet and it's just chaos.
	Uh-huh.
	And like, you know, liberal things are happening everywhere.
	Well see, that's because it's that same planet where it's like the people are half black and half white and other people are half white and half black but none of them are blue.
	It's a real big problem.
	To blindly go where no cops have been before.
	Aloha to all.
	I think she's literally saying bye to all cops.
	I think she's just saying peace out to all cops.
	Which is a difficult thing to comprehend because aloha doesn't mean hello and goodbye.
	Maybe she's saying hi to the comments section.
	I don't know.
	This just feels wholesome.
	It feels good.
	I feel like Aloha to All is just their tag, their signature to everything they put anywhere on the internet or anywhere.
	Their phone, whatever they use, automatically puts Aloha to All at the end of whatever they're saying.
	Right.
	Well, with that comment, we'd like to say Aloha to you, the listener.
	Because that's it.
	That's the end of the show.
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