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May 7, 2018 - Minion Death Cult

01:32:02

39 - Yabba Dabba Do It To Em (Boy Scouts)

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get a premium episode every Thursday as well as access to all past premium eps. This week the Cult documents the wall-to-wall outrage over the Boy Scouts' decision to allow girls to join their ranks. We get mind-boggling takes, including a LOT of people who can't stop focusing on children's genitalia. Also: Rudy Giuliani's legendary appearance on Hannity last week, and how the Q-Anon community is taking the news.

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	So small.
	Check!
	Check!
	That's what she said to you about your wave.
	I set myself up for that one.
	Yeah.
	Why is my wave so small?
	Yours is much bigger than mine, dude.
	Whoa, is it?
	No, it's... They're the same.
	We're all the same, bro.
	I don't see wavelength.
	Yeah, me neither.
	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
	So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	But stay tuned, guys, and we'll show you exactly what, uh... We'll show you exactly what it looks like when, uh...
	I'm Alexander Edward.
	I'm Mountain Matt.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Cult.
	The world is ending.
	The goddamn Boy Scouts of America are responsible.
	Making us call them Scouts B.S.A.
	now.
	Bunch of B.S.A.
	Yeah, should have taken a letter off of that, right?
	Short B.S.A.
	I mean, they're trying to make it easy on little girls.
	Well, make it easy on me and, you know, just call it B.S.
	Call it what it is.
	Alright, so, uh, you're like, what's up?
	It's Monday, but goddammit, Alexander screwed up again and he put the, he put the premium episode in the non-premium feed.
	She needs premium, dude!
	Is what you're saying.
	No, it's not a mistake.
	No, she needs creemulum, dude.
	It's all part of the plan.
	Uh, we're changing it up.
	On you folks.
	We had to do it to you.
	We think it's better if the free episode, the main feed episode, goes in on Monday.
	It's better.
	I think it's better for the workforce.
	It's better for the The nations, what do you call it, the spirits of the working class to have this to look forward to on Monday?
	Well, it's only right.
	You know, only Big Pharma would keep the cure for the Mondays behind a paywall.
	So, we're gonna bring it to you.
	Yeah, incidentally, you'll have to find another cure for those Wednesdays.
	Possibly the Addams Family movie.
	That's the only cure for the Wednesdays I know.
	Uh, so today we are talking about the drastic change in the Boy Scouts of America, where they're now, like, letting girls in?
	Yeah, what the hell?
	They're now, like, teaching girls stuff, which I'm obviously against.
	Yeah, I don't like it.
	It's just unfortunate, you know, just like, let's, like, leave things alone.
	Yeah, let's have two.
	If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
	Just stop doing stuff, world, please.
	Please stop changing, world.
	Yes.
	I'm fed up with this world.
	Uh, this angered all the right people.
	This is like, this is going to be a positive episode.
	A lot of these episodes, you know, we were talking about the end of the world.
	So obviously it's, you know, tends to be a downer of a topic from time to time.
	No, this episode is all good because good things are happening.
	Uh, the first good thing that happened is of course, uh, letting young ladies join the Boy Scouts of America because, uh, for anybody who isn't involved in the Boy Scouts, Or the Girl Scouts, there is indeed a difference in curriculum.
	Facts.
	I've heard this from several primary sources that the Girl Scouts don't do shit except sell cookies and like do crafts and it's all based on whoever the den mother is and just a lot of den moms don't want to don't want to get out there in the shit, you know?
	Whoa, dude.
	It's from what I've heard that's true.
	You have to find a specific volunteer who's willing to actually... There's not a lot of resources.
	The volunteer parents have to be the resource for that one.
	Whereas, like, with Boy Scouts, although it's really... I guess that's a better way to put it.
	Yeah, although it's really expensive, there's, like, a lot of resources.
	So, you know, yeah.
	Any of you guys Boy Scouts?
	I can't remember your answers.
	I was a Boy Scout for, like, a couple years.
	Two or three years.
	But it was still, like, watered down shit when I was there.
	Dude, do you remember what your pack was?
	San Bernardino, I don't know.
	Do you remember the numbers?
	No, not at all.
	Mormon.
	I just wanted to know if we were ever in the same pack or troop.
	Oh, maybe.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I was in Troop 24.
	No, I was in the Mormon troop up on the mountain.
	Which was literally just your house filled with children.
	Yeah, we had our own.
	You had different uniforms, right?
	No, they were the same, but we had a new patch.
	But I am happy we get to all speak from a place of some experience with Boy Scouts.
	I stopped at the Weeblos.
	Is that where you learn all about how to get a waifu and how to translate Japanese into English?
	Yeah, dude.
	That's where I got it.
	That's where I got my love for it all, dude.
	Yeah, so we're talking about that.
	Obviously good news.
	And it's just the icing on the cake is how many, like, total assholes it pissed off.
	And this is a very animating thing on the right wing.
	This is very scary to them.
	This is very bad news that girls should learn how to hike and hunt and survive on their own.
	I can't imagine why reactionary men would have such a problem with women learning survival skills.
	Who knows what that's about?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I just worry about their safety, you know?
	They're going to get all confident and think they can just go ahead and be independent.
	How are you ever going to get a husband?
	No, good point because you need men there to protect you and how are you going to do that when you're surrounded by boys?
	You need a man there to protect you.
	A full man.
	A full man.
	A full eagle man.
	And if they whisk you away with a bunch of boys, how am I gonna protect you, little girl?
	Another thing is, if you get the ladies in there, the eagles are gonna be, like, wimpier, too, and it's gonna be whacker, and, like, the men are gonna be less manly, and they're gonna be lame.
	We're gonna get into all of that, all the various outgrowths of co-ed Boy Scouts, which are now, I think, just called Scouts BSA, or it's just called BSA.
	Yeah, BSA Scouts, I like it.
	Scouts BSA, yeah.
	Sounds better, for sure.
	But what does the BSA stand for?
	Boy Scouts of America?
	I know, it's still Boy Scouts of America.
	It's gonna be one of those, like, vestigial tails.
	Maybe they will change them.
	It's like how one of our local companies, ESRI, And I'm just as against that as I am with girls joining the Boy Scouts.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Same amount of against it, you're right.
	Yeah, that's true.
	Uh, and then the second thing we're gonna talk about briefly, because, uh, more of- more of the- the right-wing... ...angro-sphere revolved around Boy Scouts than it did Rudy Giuliani totally whiffing on Hannity and revealing that Donald Trump- Oh, yeah, no, he paid back- he paid back Stormy Daniels for the hush money.
	Yeah.
	Sorry, he paid back Cohen for the hush money to Stormy Daniels.
	Well, what of it?
	I feel like it was such a big- big enough story that, like, and big- damaging enough to fucking all of them that, like, Just laugh at it a little bit.
	It's so funny.
	Yeah, that's also good news It's not like it might not even come up in the trial really because it's every ounce of hot water They were in before is the same now, but it's just such a self-inflicted wound at least in the public eye That it's fucking hilarious Well, I mean, like, this is just proof that, you know, 45 is just such a good person that, um, he wouldn't stand for that, you know?
	It's like, hey, listen, you don't have to do that.
	And it's just a drop in the bucket for him.
	You're talking about an outstanding bill.
	Just a drop in the bucket.
	Right.
	Yeah, you don't just dine and dash.
	You know?
	I don't think he dined, though.
	I don't think that analogy applies here.
	You buy me a drink, I'm gonna buy you a drink.
	Right.
	He like walked around the rest.
	He sat at a table and like mulled over the menu, but he left.
	Yeah.
	Um, I just think he might be like, uh, uh, what's his name?
	Khalid.
	And he doesn't, he doesn't dine either way.
	Whether he dashes or not.
	What a disappointment.
	Who's Khalid?
	DJ Khalid?
	Yeah, he apparently does not perform oral sex on his wife, which is... He's like, kings don't do that.
	I'm like, you fucking... Isn't he Islamic?
	Uh... No?
	I don't know.
	Maybe he's got some weird view about women or something and he's like, I can't cunnily.
	Not like those Christians with their totally normal views about women.
	No, they fucking have weird ass shit too.
	I think he's just from Miami.
	That's all I know about him.
	I feel like most religions have some weird-ass sex thing, though.
	Absolutely.
	Yeah, that's what I mean.
	But I just don't know what made you think he was Islamic.
	Because of the name Khalid.
	Because of his boats?
	Nah, he's definitely of Middle Eastern descent, for sure.
	He's Miamian.
	Glossing over this conversation entirely.
	Luckily, Smash Mouth came to the Queen's defense.
	Absolutely.
	Rode in on a brilliant white horse to inform DJ Khaled that, no, in fact, the only kings worth serving go down on their ladies.
	Whoa, Smash Mouth and DJ Khaled were in the same area together?
	Yeah, Twitter.
	That's pretty cool.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so we're going to close out with that.
	We really couldn't figure out which was going to be the palate cleanser because they're both just equally so tasty, you know, both of these topics.
	But we got more on Boy Scouts, so we're just going to do Boy Scouts first.
	Yeah, that makes sense.
	The first thing we're going to cover is just an amazing... It's redundant to say that this is an amazing song by the deplorable choir because everything they do is amazing.
	But these are the young blonde women who release original Facebook songs about how good Donald Trump is.
	And this one is a specific response to the Boy Scouts of America.
	And I'll just read the, uh, I'll read the caption here first.
	Read it how it's written.
	No girls can't be boys.
	No boys can't be girls.
	It's not how God made us.
	New song to the Boy Scouts of America.
	This song is about the PC culture being forced upon children.
	Relax people.
	Just stating the obvious that seems to always be lost on liberals.
	Eye rolling emoji.
	Y'all please share!
	It means the world.
	Heart, heart.
	Cowboy, happy face.
	Flag, flag.
	And yeah, I love this.
	Just chill.
	FORCED ON CHILDREN!
	Just chill, people.
	Forcing yourselves on children!
	Just chill.
	Relax, everybody.
	Look, man.
	Seriously, man.
	Listen.
	Feminism's kinda like a penis.
	Keep it away from my son.
	You know what the PC culture gives way to, though?
	That goddamn Pizzagate!
	So you have to, like, chill out and can't force it on the kids.
	Yeah, PC stands for Pizza and Child.
	Pizza Children?
	Pizza Children culture.
	The Pizza Children, holy shit.
	That'd be a crazy band name, dude.
	No, it's gonna be a charity.
	What is that latex bracelet you have on?
	Oh, for every dollar you donate to the Pizza Children.
	It's just scratches, it smells like pizza.
	It's all gonna go to fund a pizza place that doesn't have a basement.
	We're gonna bring back Pizza Hut.
	Pizza Hut didn't go anywhere.
	Yeah.
	We're bringing it back.
	We want the reader's points.
	I think we should start our own scouts program.
	Specifically for training people to rescue pizza children and like instead of badges you get pepperoni slices.
	Yeah.
	With like specific skills on there.
	And other toppings too.
	You know?
	Sure.
	I mean different stuff.
	But never cheese because that means that means baby dick.
	Ye- Yes.
	Woah.
	Yes!
	Oh yeah, that was the- Oh, did they say that, dude?
	That was the pizza gate.
	No, there's like a code, sorry.
	Okay.
	There's like a code of what means what.
	Pepperoni probably means something back to him.
	Oh man, oh man.
	Like, that's the whole origin of pizza gate, is like, they saw Podesta's emails and he was like, can I get extra cheese on the pizza?
	And they were like, oh, that's fucking cum.
	Yeah, that's absolutely what that is.
	One hour of triple pepperoni, that means I'm getting a dime sack with my pizza.
	By a dime sack, you mean a 12-year-old teabag.
	That's a 10-year-old teabag.
	They make these 10-year-olds hold their jizz up for weeks at a time so they can have that extra jizz.
	Which is torture, because normally a 10-year-old is just jerking off.
	Nah, I'm not even... Alright, yeah, this is already so gross.
	Okay, let's get into this video.
	So, like I said, this is, uh... This is cool.
	This is really cool how Facebook doesn't work at all.
	Um... Oh my god.
	Okay.
	Holy shit.
	Oh my god.
	Alright, let me make sure we're all recording here.
	God.
	These fucking girls... Idiots.
	Dang it.
	Why you gotta throw yourself out there in the fucking... in the... internet?
	Alright.
	I fixed it.
	Hey, you fixed it!
	So this is two girls, one of whom has a guitar and is singing, and the other girl who is doing nothing except making weird, freakish hand gestures at the camera.
	And, uh, I'll probably pause it occasionally to comment.
	Mhm.
	We're the Deforable Choir!
	The little girls can't Sorry.
	Gotta get it in high def, guys.
	It's just nice to hear real country again.
	Okay.
	This is so crazy weird, dude.
	It's just nice to hear real country again.
	Okay.
	This is so crazy.
	This is weird, dude.
	They should talk about little jimmies.
	Little Jimmy has a jimmy and shouldn't wear a dress.
	You mean Jimmy's got a wiener?
	Jimmy's got a little Jimmy Dean sausage down there?
	It's totally normal to open up your heartwarming pro-America song with discussions about a minor's penis.
	Yep, that's the way to go.
	That's really strange.
	And also, like, putting the word little in there, like, very interesting choice.
	Like, you could have just said Jimmy and we all probably would have assumed you were talking about a boy, but the fact that you had to emphasize how little Jimmy was before mentioning his penis.
	That's rude.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Don't size-shame him.
	Yeah, don't size-shame an eight-year-old boy.
	Yeah, yeah, size queen.
	I don't think we're allowed to talk about little kids' penises, because, you know, we're funny.
	Yeah.
	What's funny is I saw this without audio for sure the first time.
	Because I work and I don't have audio.
	They don't sound at all like they look like they sound when you can't hear them.
	The hype woman is doing this like, imagine...
	The antithesis of Fatman Scoop.
	So Fatman Scoop but the exact opposite.
	Fatman Scoop except for a small white woman with like the fraction of the enthusiasm and none of the rhythm.
	She's doing like the the whole like yo yo hand into the camera.
	One finger though, it's one finger.
	It's one finger, but then her hand flattens out, too, and she's, like, cringing.
	Like, her hand is, like, cramping up while she's doing it, because she's not used to this hype motion.
	It's totally foreign to her.
	I mean, think about where cringing comes from, man.
	It comes from, like, Primer 55, and it comes from, like, Limp Bizkit and shit, so, like... That's why... That's when white people try to be... when they try to rap or do music at all or whatever, like, they fucking freak out and their hands get all weird and shit.
	So really good.
	That's a really good point.
	Yeah, I know.
	Yeah, the cringing one looks like Kristen Bell, kind of.
	Yeah?
	And then the other one, like, looks like Kristen Bell also.
	Yeah.
	Exactly.
	I was like, huh?
	Oh yeah, you're right.
	I also love, uh, Little Jimmy has a jimmy and shouldn't wear a dress.
	I don't know how all these basic laws get lost on all the, you know, like the basic fundamental law of physics.
	Mass times acceleration equals forced to wear blue jeans.
	Yeah.
	Dude, when my fucking great-grandpa was a kid, he wore a dress like that's what they did.
	So, like, I don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
	They need to get their shit straight.
	Think about history.
	Basic natural laws.
	The evolutionary law of wearing men's shorts.
	Putting a clothe on.
	Oh nothing in this world brings my heart so much down.
	Than being forced to buy thin mints from a boy scout.
	No girls can't be boys.
	No boys can't be girls.
	And liberals still can't make us cuss.
	I'm pretty sure they're both drunk because, like, who would do this if you were off?
	White women?
	Girls ain't loud.
	White women?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Oh god.
	Okay, so nothing turns girls on like strong manly men.
	The specific function of the Boy Scouts of America is to turn boys into fuckable little men.
	What is these people's problem?
	She already sang about Lil' Jimmy's Jimmy and now she's talking about being turned on by the products of the Boy Scouts of America.
	Ooh, are you an Eagle Scout?
	What do you know about knots?
	You got your eagle at 15?
	Oh, you're fantastic.
	I've said that before.
	A girl can tie all the knots.
	I was a Boy Scout.
	I was lying.
	You know, fucking boat people can tie all the knots, too.
	Just go on a boat.
	DJ Khalid, that's why he doesn't need to do oral sex.
	It's Khalid, dude.
	Come on, man.
	You're freaking me out with that Khalid.
	There's a rapper named Khalid.
	Is it a R&B singer named Khalid?
	R&B.
	He's R&B.
	He raps sometimes, I think.
	I mean, all black people rap.
	Yeah, don't they all rap in the shower?
	Oh, absolutely.
	All right.
	No girls can't be boys.
	No boys can't be girls.
	That liberal stuff goes on.
	could make us 'cause ain't how God made us. - Oh. - That liberal stuff could make us 'cause ain't how God made us. - Her voice is fucking straight. - And as for you, Boy Scouts, shame on you for removing Boy from her name. Boy Scouts, shame on you for removing Boy from her Where are our boys going to go to learn to be men if you put girls in the program?
	Oh.
	Isn't anything sacred anymore?
	It's the only safe space we believe in.
	Take that, college people.
	College people?
	That's really weird.
	How much money, right now, how much money are you willing to bet that both of these girls go to college?
	Oh, are they not old?
	Or they've been to college.
	They're younger than us.
	I think they look like... I think they're 20s.
	I think they're mid-20s.
	They're about as styly as a 37-year-old woman in middle America.
	They lack a lot of culture, I think.
	No, that's like a nice dress the other one is wearing.
	They definitely went to college.
	It's a shtick.
	The country accent is a shtick.
	The down-home goodness is a shtick.
	Are they parents?
	Do you know?
	I don't know.
	Oh yeah, I think I saw one of them say in the comment section that she's got a six-year-old boy and how will he ever become a sexy man?
	Yeah.
	If there are also girls in the Boy Scouts.
	Incoming incest joke.
	How can she ever give her son a handjob if he doesn't become a man?
	But like an ego stroke though, you mean?
	Yeah, ego stroke.
	An eagle stroke.
	Yeah.
	Um...
	Totally lost my train of thought.
	I fucked you up, buddy.
	Yeah, no, take that, college people, of which we don't identify with at all.
	We're totally lower-middle class blue-collar workers.
	Also, the...
	Who's gonna teach our boys how to be men?
	That's what she says at the end.
	And that's like a common thing throughout this episode, throughout this comment section.
	All this grievance is based upon the idea that boys need to be taught how to be men.
	Therefore, undermining their total worldview that men are just men and that's how they are and you can't just be a girl if you're a man because you're a man and that's how God made us.
	But also, if nobody teaches you how to be a man, you're gonna be a sissy woman.
	I don't know what they're complaining about.
	There's resources out there in America.
	There's an organization that's founded by Wayna Morris, Michael McCary, Sean Stockman, Nathan Morris, Mark Nielsen.
	I hope some people are laughing out there.
	Yeah, who are you talking about?
	It's an organization called Boyz II Men.
	Oh, cool.
	And they actually have audiobooks that you can listen to and show your boy how to become a man.
	You become two men, actually.
	It's pretty cool.
	Does anybody know the actual individual boys slash men?
	He just said it.
	Yeah, that was all of them.
	Yeah, I know, but you were... I don't want to break the fourth wall here, but you were reading off a list, probably from Wikipedia.
	Yeah, I had to Google that shit, yeah.
	No way, no one does.
	Someone does.
	Someone loves them.
	No, but the whole thing is that the idea that, you know, boys are boys and girls are girls and they're just different.
	They're just different.
	Okay.
	And they need to be separate and they can't be together or else the boys will become girls.
	How does your worldview work out?
	I think.
	If there's such a fundamental evolutionary difference between boys and girls, then what does mixing them fuck up?
	I think, uh, sexual spectrum is, like, pretty much fact, um, and so, like, I think these folks are maybe- The gender spectrum?
	Yeah, gender spectrum.
	I think it's a fact, and, like, these folks are probably, you know, subconsciously afraid of that, and, like, Absolutely.
	And I mean, when you get them together, when you get boys and girls together, that's when... I mean, when you get all types of people together, that's when ideas are exchanged and when you, like, learn about other shit, you know?
	Maybe I'm not such a boy-o boy-o after all, you know?
	It was a bummer.
	I went on a field trip recently with my kid.
	We went to a really cool place.
	It was, like, a greenhouse for kids.
	So it was, like, plants and gardens and taught kids stuff.
	And there were too many kids from the school, and, like, the people who ran it were, like, Barry, tell a story on the podcast.
	Uh, no.
	I've never heard this.
	I've heard it in person.
	I don't know if it's been on the podcast.
	I haven't heard this story.
	But they like, they said, let's split into groups.
	Boys and girls, boys on this side, girls on this side.
	Oh yeah.
	And it was just like a volunteer that did it, right?
	Yeah.
	It was, it was, it was one of the people that worked there and it was like, that's a terrible idea.
	And then they proceed to go around asking the kids, are you a boy or a girl?
	But like being cheeky.
	Cause they're like, you're wearing pink.
	You're obviously a girl.
	Get over here.
	This is a trick question.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Make sure you face away from the girl group so that none of your penises touch their vaginas while you're walking together.
	I'm like, yo, they're four years old.
	People are so crazy.
	There's like an unhealthy obsession with the genitalia of underage children all throughout this topic.
	It's beginning with little Jimmy has a Jimmy.
	Yeah, these girls should go get pizza at Pizzagate.
	Also, I mean, do you guys remember, like, who was really, I don't know, the den I was in, the pack I was in?
	Moms ran that.
	Yeah, my mom was a den leader.
	Moms ran that shit.
	My mom was the popcorn queen.
	She, like, ran all the popcorn.
	Like, all the moms were running everything.
	It was all moms teaching the kids, teaching the boys stuff.
	And, like, everyone's sister was there.
	This is, they've been there the whole time.
	But now they get to wear uniforms and party harder.
	So, were you a Boy Scout at all?
	Yeah, for like a year maybe, or two years.
	Yeah, there was a lot of dudes, like it was a pretty good mix of like, I mean it was Mormon Church, so there was like no POC there at all, but it was like a good mix of like, at least leadership, it was a good mix of males and females.
	Yeah.
	It was, I mean, but we definitely got lots of like cool outdoor shit experience, you know?
	We shat outside.
	The best reaction, I can't remember if I got any specific comments relating to it, but the best, the most, like, a lot of these reactions that we're gonna go through are just funny, or stupid, and like fun to make fun of, but the genuine, like, most heartwarming reaction to this news that I did see in occasional comments or hear in anecdotes Was that a scout leader who had been there for 15-20 years got so mad at this change that they quit in protest.
	And that just like really fucking warms my heart and like thank God that person is no longer in a place to influence young people.
	That's good, yeah.
	I bet your kid was really stoked on that.
	Yeah.
	Uh, there was also a lot of people coming to the defense of the BSA, like people who actually knew what they were fucking talking about.
	Like, no, this is like, cool.
	No, this is great.
	Yeah.
	No, I mean, somebody, cause it did play a pretty big role in my life for a long time.
	And they definitely had some things, they definitely have some things fucked up.
	Um, but it's cool to see them go in a separate direction.
	It's like, okay, this is, this is cool.
	It's good to know that maybe I can one day get behind this, but they got a long way Well the thing is is like the organization is like hemorrhaging members anyway.
	Yeah.
	I mean it's like probably gonna die either way you know so this is like too little too late because there are generations of girls that wanted to be in Boy Scouts because of what the Boy Scouts were learning and they just couldn't be in it and you know I don't know if that's the it's probably one of the reasons for declining membership but also just you know not so many people are interested in like a little youth army for America.
	But not only that, but like a lot of, you know, a lot of girls now are, um, a lot of young girls I know are like gluten-free, and, um, the popcorn's gluten-free, the cookies are not.
	Ah.
	So they could join the Boy Scouts.
	So they can join the Boy Scouts.
	Yeah, that's good for them.
	They want access to the popcorn.
	Right.
	Uh, okay, so our first- Trails end.
	Our first comment here, uh, Dwayne Sugarbaker, don't know if they use gluten-free products or not.
	But they bake sugar.
	Says, They already had Girl Scouts!
	Why screw up the Boy Scouts?
	Yes, I'm yelling!
	Yes, they deserve to die!
	I hope they burn in hell!
	Right at the mic.
	Yes, I'm deranged!
	This is not accidental capsocking, this is intentional!
	Yes, I'm yelling!
	That's so funny, dude.
	Yes!
	Yes, I am proficient in online discourse, and yes, I am yelling!
	Dude, it's fucking hilarious.
	This guy's a fool.
	Yeah, I love this.
	They already did the Girl Scouts.
	They already had Girl Scouts.
	I saw it.
	I saw it.
	We don't need to remake it.
	Yeah.
	They just need to make it better, which we'll see that a lot too.
	Uh-huh.
	I hate crossovers.
	I like mashups, dude.
	Charles Kirk... Charles Clark, rather.
	You're a beautiful boy.
	He's so cute.
	What a pretty Pizza Gate boy.
	Charles Clark says...
	Okay, so this was in the- I didn't include the meme, but the meme was a pregnant Girl Scout in like, I guess maybe a Boy Scout uniform.
	It still looked like just a green Girl Scout uniform.
	But it was like, be prepared for this, BSA.
	Man, I hope there's a deplorable listener to this shit, because you fucking people, you people are fucking sick.
	You guys are gross.
	You're fucked up, dude.
	Get your head out of fucking kids, dude.
	Charles Clark says about the pregnant female Boy Scouter, uh, I can guarantee this will happen.
	Maybe the scouts will come with a merit badge for delivering a baby.
	There is no way in hell you could put a boy and a girl in the woods and something won't happen.
	This guy's disgusting.
	And if you look at his profile picture, it's like the perfect profile picture for a man who would leave this comment because he's about a 60-year-old man.
	He looks like a 60-year-old version of Milton from Office Space.
	But who's probably abused some children in his life.
	I would guess.
	I've known some people that have abused children and he looks like the type.
	He's leering.
	He's leering at the camera.
	He's wearing like a tux or something?
	It's such a salacious look at this camera.
	Yeah, he's fucked.
	Mustache, uh, you know, Milton, yeah.
	I can guarantee you those boys and girls are getting down in the woods.
	He's like, I'm thinking about it right now.
	I wish, I wish he would have gotten this edited because there's an obvious miss here.
	The last sentence should be, There's no way in hell you can put a boy and a girl in the forest.
	There's guaranteed to be wood.
	Fucking idiot.
	You're not even funny.
	Dude, Charles is like the oldest boomer ever.
	He's not funny at all, dude.
	Michael Anthony Faulkner.
	This is kind of what you alluded to, Matt.
	Here we go.
	They could just make the Girl Scouts better.
	There was no need to allow girls in the Boy Scouts.
	Boys aren't allowed in the Girl Scouts, so explain the equality.
	And this is akin to the fear of gender non-conformity and gender fluidity and different gender expressions.
	The real fear that that actually is a reality is one reason to object to this BSA change.
	The other reason is people's innate... What's the word I'm looking for?
	Childishness or like lack of agency.
	They're like well, why don't they just make Girl Scouts do the boy thing.
	Yeah as if they They own both the Girl Scouts and the Boy Scouts, and they should do something about it.
	Well, you didn't know this, but actually, the Boy Scouts of America and the Girl Scouts of America are both small branches of the military.
	They are tiny branches.
	I mean, that would honestly make sense.
	I can't tell if you're joking or not.
	They're tiny Jimmy Dean branches of the military.
	They're, like, not even really affiliated.
	They're affiliated by, like, accidents.
	They're like, I guess we should hang out sometimes?
	No, but really, the take is, like, why doesn't Dad fix this?
	Like, why don't they... Like, it's like this weird, like, you get this a lot in online comments, I guess, in any, like, political alignment, but it's just like, well, what if this was the case?
	What if we did this instead?
	And it's like, no, these are, like, actual people doing this shit on their own.
	Like, it's not like you can go in and, like, change the options and put it on, like, easy mode.
	There's actually...
	Boy Scout stores.
	You guys ever go to the Boy Scout store?
	Yeah.
	Oh, fuck yeah, dude.
	It was like sick.
	The one over on, uh, Lagonia, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's like sick.
	Everything's real expensive.
	There's all these really cool swag.
	All these badges and shit.
	Yo, Boy Scouts had sick merch.
	Hell yeah, dude.
	But, um, but Girl Scouts didn't have a store.
	No.
	Like, you can't- If you're a Boy Scout- Ironic, because we all know how much girls like shopping.
	Women be shopping.
	Yeah, women be shopping.
	Uh, their swag was not as cool.
	We had a lot of cool shit, dude.
	Box.
	Which is unfortunate because that palette is sick.
	That brown and that teal, that palette's sick.
	I just think it's like, it's a fundamental law that like girls wear teal and brown and boys wear tan.
	And like that's in the Bible probably.
	And navy.
	Well not only that, but like, you know, women tend to be more winters where like men tend to be more autumns.
	Right.
	No, um, I think it'd be cool if they like just combined, like serious, combine both the scouts.
	Call it Scouts USA.
	But then this whole thing is like they're, You just said they.
	They should do, like... Yeah, the government.
	Oh, no, the people that, like, the people, the cool people that actually decided to open up Scout's BSA to everybody.
	And, uh, the people, the terrible people at the Girl Scouts who won't let boys in.
	No, I mean, like, Girl Scouts are, from what I read, like, actually are opposed to this change.
	Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
	There's probably pretty fucked up people running that shit.
	They're losing membership.
	Yeah.
	Thomas J. Hine says, Why not just expand Girl Scout activities to include the sort of things Boy Scouts do?
	Yeah, why don't the Boy Scouts expand the Girl Scouts activities?
	Why don't they do that?
	Yeah, they should.
	I know that won't appease the handful of trans kids that will want to participate, parentheses, as nothing ever will.
	Okay.
	I don't know, maybe why don't we try treating trans kids like human beings and see if that appeases them?
	Well, trans kids need to learn that there's consequences for actions and if you are not okay with the body that God gave you, you don't get certain snacks.
	Yeah, if you voluntarily decide to, like, switch up, you have to deal with the consequences.
	Yeah, no, it's true.
	Actions have consequences, and being like Thomas J. Hine might lead you to be alone and dreaming about a, I don't know, improbable future where you might have kids that you will then deny Boy Scouts.
	And then maybe Thomas J. Hine will turn into an incel.
	Well, let me finish this comment.
	But it's better than this.
	Unless things change back before I have children.
	Ding, ding, ding.
	Thomas J. Hine, by the way, a small white boy, probably 15 years old.
	I'll be buying an old Boy Scout manual off eBay and teaching my son parenthesis S. So, son.
	Maybe?
	I don't have a kid but I'm gonna have two boys for sure.
	I want a couple well-behaved boys.
	I'm gonna have multiple boys for sure.
	Uh, by myself.
	Oh, that's the, that's the truest part of this comment.
	Dude, Thomas is the kind of... I'm gonna be teaching my sons by myself.
	Thomas is the kind of person who would like kill their, their, their, if they, if their baby came out anything less than like perfect, like if there's missing, uh, like some chromosomes or something, or a chromosome, they'd probably like kill that child.
	Because he needs the perfect breeding child.
	Only if his partner gave birth in the wild and they had to look to see in the Boy Scout manual how to survive and basically you eat the child.
	They should also be reading that thing about delivering babies in the Boy Scouts.
	I mean, that's valuable information.
	I don't see why that's even a joke.
	Yeah, that's cool.
	Richard Benjamin, this two first name having motherfucker, says, I have a son and grandson who are Eagle Scouts and another grandson getting close.
	Now that Boy Scouts have shown that bending to political correctness is more important than being a man and standing for what's right, I will no longer support them.
	And I like to just think he's talking about his grandsons, like... Your achievements mean nothing.
	Your Eagle Scout status is meaningless now.
	You work so hard for nothing.
	You're fucking 26, you still haven't gone to college, you're living in my fucking basement, I'm done with this shit.
	I was lightly traversing these comments...
	Occasionally replying to some of these people who left comments like this about how their eagle scout hood is now tainted.
	And I was just like, yeah, dude, it fucking sucks how you're legally a woman now.
	That sucks, dude.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm so sorry.
	I wish we could change this back.
	Well, what if they take away my discount at Bass Pro Shop?
	The greatest fear of all.
	Yeah.
	Greatest motivating fear.
	Um, I don't know if I got any of the comments, which I wish I did, but there was a big sentiment about, like, now that, you know, like, I was an Eagle Scout, and, like, I can tell now that, like, that the Eagle program is gonna be a lot more, like, uh, I'm, like, paraphrasing what they're saying, but, like, Quote, pussified.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, it's gonna be, like, a lot more womanly.
	And, like, they won't be able- The program is gonna have, like, flowers around the edge of it.
	Yeah.
	Well, and I saw a bunch of comments about how, like, yeah, some troops are just, like, eagle factories where they're just, like, trying to push these eagles through or get them their eagle fuckin' certificates or whatever.
	It's kind of a thing, yeah.
	Is it actually a thing?
	Yeah.
	That's hilarious though, I don't know.
	Dude, I think you're my Eagle Scout over the most semantic shit ever.
	Oh, man.
	Pure semantics.
	Like, they wouldn't transfer my paperwork over from one trip to the next.
	That's insane.
	Yeah, and they were like, nope, you don't get it.
	And I was like, wow.
	They're like, you checked black on your box?
	Yeah, you're not getting nobody.
	I didn't have to, my dad volunteered.
	Oh, fuck.
	That's right, Black Dad's doing Boy Scouts.
	We did it.
	We out here.
	He wouldn't camp with me though.
	I don't know which comment to do next.
	These are both really good.
	Yvonne Arend says, That's what happens when you don't spank your son, he turns into a girl.
	This isn't the full comment, but I just want to pause here.
	Because once again, you have to beat your son to make him a man, otherwise he'll turn into a girl.
	And if this isn't like, The worst case to make about gender essentialism that I don't know what is.
	Like, no, you have to beat the shit out of your son every third Monday of the month and you also have to make sure that in class there are no more than 30% girls in every grade school class and you take him out of that class or else you're gonna have a woman on your hands.
	Also, don't let your son out when there's a full moon because his feminine auras will be charged.
	He will start menstruating.
	Don't let him go too close to the beach during certain tide seasons.
	Which is crazy.
	It's crazy how long they've been seeding this idea of gender fluidity all the way back to the 80s with The Prince of Tides.
	Right.
	Exactly.
	Holy shit, dude.
	This is a fucking deep state action.
	I mean the title is obviously nonsensical and now I'm realizing why they titled it that.
	What if you, like, beat your kid a little more often than that third Monday every month?
	Does it happen faster?
	Then he turns into a werewolf.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, I was just gonna say, like, can you make that kid, like, a man quicker?
	So you can give him a good handjob?
	That's a really good question that we should pose to one of the deplorable choir members.
	Ask them if there isn't a way we can speed this process along for you guys.
	I'm terrible today.
	Fuck.
	Husbands, men, do your job.
	So this is a woman commenting.
	Husbands, men, do your job.
	Your son is losing his identity.
	Your son whose identity hasn't been created through beating yet.
	He's losing his potential identity.
	They haven't built any character in him yet.
	Interesting here.
	You need to callous their souls.
	Yvonne should not have kids.
	I'm picturing, like, the Donnie Darko, like, temporal worm that comes out of your body dictating, like, your life's path, you know?
	And, like, it's this gelatinous, like, clearish worm that's headed right towards your dad holding a belt.
	Yeah.
	But then it diverts left into the women's restroom.
	You know, because your dad, like, whiffed.
	Yvonne is like warning the dad to like really take aim like like take a deep breath eyes eye on the balls your orb like greys like a tampon and now you're like Kids just playing with, like, makeup in the bathroom and shit.
	Put a nice rouge on, looking pretty.
	Okay, this is where it gets good.
	This is where the comment gets good now.
	Oh, really?
	Yvonne continues to say, I see more feminine boys.
	Guys anymore.
	It makes my mouth drop.
	To be a woman, it is so disgusting.
	What?
	Men should be men.
	I'm seeing these feminine boys and I am disgusted.
	Right.
	How am I supposed to fuck these feminine boys?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, there's a heavy overtone, and I didn't see it when I was putting these comments together, but there's a heavy overtone of, like, pedophilia.
	Big time.
	It's so weird.
	And I mean, but that, like, makes sense because the right is all about these, like, strict cultural identities.
	And what you have to be, and as a man, what you have to do is you have to impregnate women, and as a woman, what you have to do is you have to be impregnated by a man.
	It's like, that's what you're being groomed for, and they're just admitting it here that the grooming has to take place, or else it won't happen.
	I mean, I'm mirroring the fuck out of them by talking about it a bunch on this episode, but like... Are you gonna talk about boy's penis again?
	Yeah, but no, um, I mean, that's another thing, like, they talk about it so fucking much, like, how...
	How could it not be on their mind often?
	So, I don't know.
	No, I agree.
	I agree with that completely.
	Robert Bowles says... Smoke a bowl, Robert.
	I'm down for that, by the way.
	Scouts libs slash feminist won't be happy till all men institutions are destroyed true I'm down for that by the way yeah, yeah run it Fred Flintstone better watch out what?
	What?
	Plus, this would make a good episode for the Brady Bunch.
	Okay.
	Like, the... What, dude?
	What are you talking about right now, motherfucker?
	Fred Flintstone?
	Like, he's gonna get erased from history?
	Like, what the fuck?
	Can you imagine what Andy Griffith would have to say about this?
	Fred Flintstone, Andy Griffith, the male archetypes of it all.
	I can't wait to hear Laugh-In's take on this development.
	When every single one of your fucking cultural references is 60 years old, it's time to check out, dude.
	Carol Burnett does have a new show on Netflix, so... Well, that's tight.
	It looks... It's weird.
	It's like a Cosby, like, Kids Say the Darnest Thing show.
	I hope it's not a Cosby anything.
	I mean, come on now.
	Well no, it's like the Kids Say the Darnedest Things show.
	I feel like Netflix is like, we gotta put something else out there.
	Now that Cosby's ruined Kids Say the Darnedest Things.
	Gotta pick up the torch where Cosby left off.
	It's gonna be Kids Say the Darnedest Things and it's gonna be a boy saying, um, I don't really like G.I.
	Joe's that much.
	And then the audience erupts in laughter.
	Yep.
	Oh here kid, take one.
	Play with it.
	Yeah, no, I love this.
	Fred Flintstone, the male archetype.
	Right, dude.
	What the fuck, dude?
	That's who I think of when I think of a man.
	These are legit psychopaths.
	And I looked him in the eyes.
	This motherfucker stepped to me.
	I looked him in the eyes.
	You know what I fucking told that motherfucker?
	I said, yeah, but that was new!
	Tony.
	Yabba-dabba-do-it-to-em.
	Uh, that's tight.
	Yabba-dabba-do-it-to-em.
	Yabba-dabba-do-it-to-em.
	Damn, that could be the name of the episode.
	Um... That could be really the name of the episode.
	Nah, dawg.
	Fuck that shit.
	I don't know about these unisex bathrooms, friend!
	Hey, boo-boo.
	Um... I, uh... I'm Yogi Bear.
	One of my male heroes.
	I mean, to be fair, he did wear a necktie.
	Yeah, and a hat.
	What do you guys think of when you think of the male archetype?
	Just curious.
	Are you ingrained like that?
	Like, do you picture a thing?
	Like, what's the perfect male?
	Like, who I would like to be, or what?
	What is the male, the man's man?
	For me, it's the Red Eminem.
	Oh, that's cool.
	Voiced by Billy West, a hero of mine.
	I love it, dude.
	We've all grown up being influenced by Billy West's masculine energy, whether it's Doug from Doug Funny, whether it's Ren from Ren & Stimpy, whether it's our favorite hero, the man we look up to, Professor Farnsworth.
	All these men are very important to me.
	Tony, what about you?
	You got one?
	No?
	Mine is Da Vinci's anatomical man.
	Because he's got those three penises.
	Yeah, he's got those three dicks that shows, like, he can fuck three things at once.
	Plus, he did that cameo in Westworld.
	Yeah, he did, dude.
	He was beating ass.
	I think he's just in the logo, I don't think he's actually in the show.
	Did you see the new season?
	I haven't started it yet, is it worth watching?
	Fuck yeah, are you kidding me?
	I always get nervous, like I like the first season, but I always get nervous to start a new show.
	I'll probably watch it up to the third, if the third one drops off, which usually happens on shows, you know, we'll see what happens.
	I heard that this is the season where they finally show the old tune, the pink one, the stink three penis sex shot.
	They do, dude.
	It's actually three glory holes just mashed up right next to each other.
	We ready to get back to this?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Jacqueline Nicole is our last comment.
	Is this one?
	Yeah, okay, this one's pretty deranged.
	I just don't understand why Girl Scouts couldn't just offer the same activities as Boy Scouts.
	Why don't they just do it?
	Must everything be ruined by this gender crap everyone is pushing these days?
	I love it because if you ask anyone who's non-binary or anyone who's trans, you know what they will call the society we live in?
	They will call it gender crap.
	The idea that girls play with Barbies, the idea that boys like the color blue, it's gender crap.
	It's horseshit.
	Gender is already so ingrained in our society and other societies, where literal chairs are gendered.
	It's some Will Lipman shit, I'm sure.
	It's bad.
	Bad deal.
	The biggest difference, in order for the Girl Scouts to really be able to accomplish what the Boy Scouts have, they have to also introduce the peeing while standing up badge.
	And that just really changed the game.
	It's really liberating.
	You can't go camping if you're squatting.
	Snakes?
	And they don't get to use the shiwi either.
	Snakes, dude.
	I was just thinking of the shiwi, actually.
	Because you don't have a shiwi on you when the plane crashes.
	You just have to contort your body in a way.
	You have to bend forward or whatever.
	Or bend your back backwards.
	That was always the backbone of Boy Scouts, right?
	It was like, this is going to come in handy when I'm in a plane crash.
	I want to survive after this plane crash I'm going to get into.
	Speaking of weird gendered things in our society, there's a literal ladybug crawling across my laptop.
	Yo, that's a metaphor.
	And I mean, it's so pretty, just like a lady.
	You know, it's red and with little polka dots on it.
	Yeah, like a lady.
	Remember when that archetype was smashed?
	When I closed my laptop?
	When you open your laptop and put on, was it a Bugs Life?
	Yeah.
	Oh yeah, dude.
	I actually prefer Antz.
	I'm a Woody Allen man.
	We've talked about shit on here before.
	I'm not gonna fucking get in this battle with you again, dude.
	Fuck off.
	We're talking about inappropriate activities with minors.
	Antz is B list, alright buddy?
	This has nothing to do with Woody Allen.
	This is only about Antz.
	This has nothing to do with the B movie.
	No, I was gonna say B is A with Bugs Life, alright?
	Okay, uh, there are and always have been just two genders.
	Why are, quote, we trying to change the most simple of things?
	And why is it, quote, not okay when people like myself don't agree?
	I mean, you literally, like, don't have to agree.
	No, and that's okay!
	Like, nobody's making you be a female Boy Scout.
	But Jacqueline Nicole, you cannot fucking impose your views on everybody else in society.
	You gotta fuck off with that.
	My twin boys will know they are boys!
	They will play with toys, lean towards boys.
	Boys will be boys and play with those toys.
	Hey, uh, you.
	Hey, wait.
	We know where our dick is today?
	Hey, play with that toy.
	We know where our dick is today?
	Play with that toy.
	Can we count to three?
	Yeah.
	One ball, two ball, one?
	Yeah.
	Alright, there we go.
	Now juggle those baseballs.
	Those are my little boys.
	Go get them.
	Don't take no shit.
	Hey!
	Hey!
	What color is that Trapper Keeper?
	Oh, okay.
	It's like a light blue.
	I thought it was a baby blue.
	No, it's G.I.
	Joe shit, dude.
	It's not Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper.
	Fuck off, Mom.
	It's Salmon.
	Yeah, Mom.
	Salmon's allowed.
	But yeah, if one day they happen to choose a different way, then that's God's plan.
	God's plan.
	God's plan.
	What a flip.
	What a crazy flip.
	God's plan.
	Oh shit.
	But in no way... She flipped.
	What?
	I said the B word.
	I'm sorry.
	But in... Boys?
	Boys?
	No.
	On this PC podcast, we do not say the B word.
	We gotta stop saying boys.
	Say B word.
	Blue star B star star star.
	Blue star B words.
	But in no way I will push that B.S.
	on those boys.
	There.
	I fucking said it.
	You gotta read it right, dude.
	No way I will push that B.S.
	on these boys!
	There.
	I fucking said it.
	Damn.
	This world isn't meant for everyone to, ah, just let me stop here.
	God, yes, thank you.
	Thank God.
	I can't handle my mind being blown like four times in one comment.
	Four times in a fucking half an essay fucking comment.
	Yeah, it's a shame because I want to send my kids to learn about basically a nice puritanical lifestyle.
	Where they will seek their religious awards, as I did when I was a kid.
	Wait, are you a Sikh?
	I did get all the religious awards as a scout.
	And that brought me closer to God.
	I didn't have sex for a long time because of that.
	Oh, that's weird.
	I waited for the Lord to tell me when to.
	You waited for the Lord to tell you when it was okay to have boy scouts.
	So how can we protect our sons from sex if they're being influenced by the devil and his girls?
	Send your kids to the Royal Rangers, dude.
	What are the Royal Rangers?
	You mentioned these before and I still have no idea what they are.
	I grew up in the mountain outside of Lake Arrowhead, Big Bear area, whatever fucking weird shit.
	Bunch of white people settled by Mormons.
	There's this weird, like, Royal Rangers is like a scout organization, but it's like based out of churches.
	They call their troops outposts.
	They wear all red.
	Red hats and red shirts.
	That sounds hard bodied.
	But they're Christian and shit.
	They like don't say words with C's in it.
	They like replace C's with B's every time they talk.
	Royal Rangers.
	They're all like welcome to Birch.
	Yeah, for sure.
	No, the kids were strange though, because like, I don't know, I feel like it was like the SDA type kids that went- Also, kids are just weird.
	Kids are fucking- Kids are weird, for sure.
	But yeah, those kids grew- I mean, maybe those are the kids that didn't have sex like you for a long time.
	I mean, there was like a reaction to some of these posts that was like, here's what you do.
	You take your kids out of Boy Scouts, and you start your own Boy Scouts.
	Or you do the Royal Rangers, and it's like, Yes, that is what you do.
	That is the appropriate response to this thing.
	You don't like the organization, don't join the organization.
	Nobody's fucking forcing you.
	Even if it's weird.
	I just wish they had like a program called, like, Mini Marines, but just for boys.
	Or like, you know, like, like Lil' Cops.
	Lil' Cops.
	Oh, kindergarten cops, dude.
	Little ops.
	I mean, there's like ROTC and shit like that.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, but those are like kind of soft.
	You don't get to really shoot guns and shit.
	Oh, damn.
	I watched the new... I wanted my kid to get tactical drills.
	I gotta train him myself.
	I watched the new Atlanta and it's a throwback episode and you find out Paperboy was in ROTC.
	Spoilers!
	Fuck, dude!
	Ah, fuck!
	So, like, these next comments are just, like, a few takes off Reddit.
	Same basic shit.
	You wanna enlarge it for me there, dude?
	Can you zoom also, by any chance?
	Or expand them?
	Not while I'm... No.
	Oh, you can't.
	Fuck.
	Alright.
	Oh, look at you!
	But I can't move it once I do it.
	It's, like, weird.
	Alright.
	Whatever.
	I'll live.
	Oh!
	Fuckin' shit.
	Yes.
	Sorry.
	It's all good.
	Oh, it's fine.
	All right.
	So, uh, the great Lord Lucer.
	Okay.
	So like I did, it was just the same shit, like same, it was like links, like, Oh, the boy scouts change your name to BSS scouts, BSA destroying the world.
	Yeah.
	Like, you know, and they're responsible.
	And then like, um, like memes and stuff on the Donald, but, um, The Great Lord Lucifer says, let's make our own M.A.I.L.S.
	only scouting program.
	Okay, I gotta start over.
	There's no hyphen, to be fair to your reading, there's no hyphen in M.A.I.L.S.
	only.
	Yes, you're right, and I'm a good reader.
	M.A.I.L.S.
	is spelled correctly with a capital M. With a capital, yeah, as it should be.
	Let's make our own capital M.A.I.L.S.
	only scouting program and teach the children useful skills like shooting, basic survival, discipline, and responsibility.
	Listen to how much fantasy is in this one comment.
	Shooting?
	Basic survival?
	That's fucking crazy.
	This person is never going to do this.
	They're never going to talk to a real human being in their lives.
	They don't talk to their neighbors, I guarantee it.
	But they're going to start their own Boy Scouts of MAGA.
	BSMA.
	To train the world's boys.
	It's actually the BDSMA.
	It's the boy dudes of MAGA making America.
	No, it's the... It's the MAGASAW, dude.
	MAGA Scouts of America.
	Which says... What's his name?
	Catberts.
	Catberts comes and it says, The MAGA Scouts of America!
	Is that a Dilbert reference?
	I think so.
	Hey Catbert, you're a fucking dork.
	Oh, you're a super dork if your name is fucking Catbert.
	So the Magisaw, that's what it'll be.
	And it sounds like, to me as a racist person, it sounds like some weird Middle Eastern or Indian thing.
	So maybe they'll get a cool flag and put some cool, it'll be a black flag with some cool white Arabic writing on it and look like the ISIS flag or something cool like that.
	That's where I was going with that.
	I got it.
	Every time I see MAGA, I just wish it said MAGMA, and I was listening to a weird-ass, like, proto-metal psychedelic band that invented its own language because they were so on drugs.
	That band's weird as fuck.
	I think their language is actually... I think it's like a learnable language?
	Oh, that's a good question.
	Do you think they hired, like, the same professor who invented Klingon to invent their language?
	I bet it's a bunch of acid gibberish.
	That's definitely what it is.
	I wouldn't doubt it because I speak fluently both languages that Sigur Rós and the Cockatoo Twins speak.
	I speak both those languages fluently.
	Do you not like the Cockatoo Twins?
	Is that why you call them the Cockatoo Twins?
	This is shit!
	And then the Great Lord Lucifer comes back in and says, and they can do work to raise money for the program.
	Each troop can run its own lawn care service or something, which I think is pretty fucking funny.
	Imagine how rewarding these two comments were to the Great Lord Lucifer.
	I mean, that one was rewarding to me, like busting on the lawn care thing.
	This dude got his politics done for like the next six months just with these two comments.
	Oh, immigration?
	I got a problem for you.
	I got a solution.
	Dare that Mexicans have a day with Boy Scouts.
	Get him out of here!
	We'll mow all the lawns!
	You don't get the lawn care joke?
	It's the boy that mowed Trump's lawn, right?
	Yeah, no, I get it.
	I don't think it's a joke, though.
	No, it's not a joke.
	Like, that's a real American thing to do, mowing a lawn.
	Take that back from the immigrants.
	But, you know, he's right.
	Like, not all dudes have to be, like, you know, on the right.
	Like, some of my dudes are just bros who are dudes who, like, you know, get, just for being a dude with the dick fucking with my cock, I get, like, real marginalized.
	So I'm gonna start one that's, like, not so right-wing, though, but, you know, like, we're woke, but, like, also don't tread on my nuts, you know?
	Yeah, dude.
	And we're gonna be called the D.O.H.
	The Dicks Out For Harambes.
	Sick, bro.
	That's tight, dude.
	And you know that there will be not a woman signing up for that show.
	We're gonna have the kids.
	We're gonna have the kids, we're gonna teach them beer pong. - What else dude?
	Competitive collar popping?
	Teach him how to ice people, also.
	Oh yeah, show him how to tie a tie properly.
	Swatting your friend's badge because they beat you at, I don't know, Grand Theft Auto?
	What game?
	We're gonna do actual Grand Theft Auto to pay for it.
	Also a Gravity Bong making badge, too.
	This next take is... it's pretty shitty.
	So let's see what the impossible one has to say.
	Everyone here is scared to say it, it seems.
	And I love the way this is like spaced out like a haiku or some shit.
	So I'm gonna read it like a haiku, okay?
	Everyone here is scared to say it, it seems.
	I mean, that's literally impossible because the syllables are off.
	Yeah, of course, so I'm still gonna try.
	Women behind us.
	Women are behind this, is what I said.
	They want to make everything theirs.
	So, yeah.
	At least it's not the Jews this time.
	Yeah, it's women.
	It's the Women Industrial Complex is coming in and they're like, we need to fucking pull some strings at the BSA.
	I'm so sick of the Women Industrial Complex.
	They're controlling this country.
	That is why we need to defund the WIC program.
	Absolutely.
	Where all the money goes is to the Women Industrial Complex.
	Exactly.
	I mean why, you know?
	Why are we funding that anyway?
	They're pumping all this money to lobby towards getting tampons only for chicks.
	It's like they should be for dudes too.
	For 30 to 50 year old men who have butthole problems.
	If all I had to do was push a fucking marble out my cock for like, you know, money from the government.
	I do it too.
	Yeah, dude.
	Then drink a bunch of Coca-Cola and shit, and you will.
	I wish people treated me with respect to treat pretty white women.
	Yeah, me too.
	And then, uh... That was a real statement.
	Speaking of pretty white women, Infinity Supreme says to The Impossible One, um, as to the women who are behind this fucking conspiracy, it says, they say, I'm sure it's a dude because they're talking shit on women, uh, not normal married family values women, so like, you know, the fucking shithead women who voted for Trump.
	You know, those women.
	They're not behind this.
	That's what I saw in this comment.
	This absolutely is a woman, and she's been married since she was 19 years old.
	Oh.
	And they have a good family in the church.
	They bought a house at 21.
	The Infinity Supreme is God's love.
	Okay.
	Okay, yeah, I was gonna say it's the Infinity Supreme as a reference to her inner wrist tattoo, which is the Infinity symbol, but instead of love, it says Supreme in there.
	Instead of love, it has the box logo Supreme in it, yeah.
	Very generational, very good.
	But yeah, I think that, you know, it's defending those women that voted for Trump because they are true American women.
	Yeah, not normal women.
	Normal women do not want their sons interacting with other people's daughters at all.
	The normal, white, straight women of America.
	And I also like, uh, I forgot to mention it, but during the, uh, Deplorable Choirs video for, uh, How God Made Us, or Ain't How God Made Us.
	Ain't God's Plan.
	If, uh, if God made your boys the way you wanted them to be, then you wouldn't be so worried about them becoming girls, right?
	Like, this ain't how God made us, but I still have to beat the shit out of my son or else he will become a woman.
	Well, I'm always really worried that the time that I spent in college and me and my roommate got really close, I'm scared that God will punish me for what I did those nights when I was being a gender traitor.
	Why don't you join the Royal Rangers, buddy?
	I don't know if that's going to help me fight the gay off my son.
	It skips a generation they say, and I got away with it.
	But literally the only appeal to this separation of the genders is a biblical appeal.
	It's a religious appeal.
	Because all these, A, I don't think the scouts are even going to be integrated.
	I think it's still going to be like an all-female troop and an all-male troop from what I've been reading.
	They're all going to be supervised.
	You don't let a bunch of Boy Scouts, even if they're all boys, you don't let them out in the woods with knives and shit by themselves.
	That's not quite true.
	No, yeah, actually, they do that a little bit.
	There's no troop leader.
	There's no... Well, no, they... I've gone on like...
	Summer camp trips where one of the things was like you would um you go on a hike you go on a hike overnight with just like your counselors and they're like 17 they're like they're like 1920.
	Yeah like eagle scouts.
	There's like three boys watching like 20 boys.
	Okay, but still, there's, like, gay boys there too, you know, that could fuck each other whether there's girls or not.
	Well, yeah, absolutely.
	I read on the Donald, like, that, like, no, you know, when I was in the Scouts, uh, they, uh, they let us, they fucking dropped us off in the middle of the Sierra Nevada mountains.
	From a fucking helicopter, and, uh, we fucking had a- We had to snowboard down to base.
	We had a knife, and we had a canteen, and I'm- I didn't say helicopter, but this is actually what they were saying, um, and, uh, there was a troop leader or something amongst them, but, like, he was, like, like, had, like, like, survival training, so he was so far away, like, he was in stealth mode, and they couldn't see him, but only when- he only showed himself when he wanted to.
	Oh, yeah, no, that's totally believable.
	Yeah.
	Oh, shit!
	They dropped us in Sierra Nevada Mountains!
	Is this that movie?
	Rambo?
	No, no, um... Oh, what... I'm not doing it, I'm not doing it.
	Sorry.
	It's a comedy movie about... The guy from Home Alone?
	Yep, exactly.
	Oh, fuck.
	Macaulay Culkin?
	No, the guy, one of the robbers.
	One of the stinky bandits.
	Fuck, what's it called?
	I love that movie, dude.
	Not that much, obviously.
	Yeah, it was funny when I was a kid.
	Cool, dude.
	Yeah.
	Um, yeah.
	Alright, so this is from, uh, we ready to move on?
	Yeah, I mean, I'll shout out the name of the movie in the middle of you talking just so we have it on record.
	Just real quick though, I mean, it is really... How can I, how can I experiment with other men if there's women around?
	How can I figure that out?
	Get in, get a man on it, buddy.
	Okay so this is our next video from uh we're calling him like yelling man or like screaming scream scream man can we call him a young yeller the way i wrote it was screaming man like one word like his it's like a he's screaming man i like i like scream man scream man we can each call him our own thing i'll call him screaming He can have AKs.
	We've talked about him on the show.
	I genuinely don't want to give out his name.
	He's got one of these Facebook fake country rant at the camera names.
	Colton Studebaker.
	I feel like it doesn't matter because these guys already got a shitload of views, so like, anybody that listens to us, like, they should see how terrible- Well, they're gonna hear it right now, so they don't need to look it up.
	Fuck it.
	Yeah, let's- let's do this.
	So, this is still on, uh, this is a- the video is titled, Boy Scouts and Genders.
	Yeah.
	What's up, Instagram?
	So the Boy Scouts have decided to change their name from Boy Scout- Gotta pause it for Tony.
	What are you hearing, Tony?
	What did you hear in the background in this video, Tony?
	What's making you laugh?
	See, I was questioning this guy because I wanted to assume he's one of those racist people, but obviously he's not because he's listening to hip-hop.
	The greatest MC.
	The greatest rapper of all time.
	Not only is he listening to hip-hop, he's listening to real hip-hop.
	To real rap.
	Real, real hip-hop.
	And not just real hip-hop, the greatest rapper of all time.
	Real lyric shit.
	None of that mumble rap.
	It's Eminem.
	Not just Eminem, but how many of them?
	The real Eminem.
	It's like the MIDI version of it, right?
	I'm sorry, who is it?
	Is it who?
	The real Slim Shady.
	It's Chicka Chicka Slim Shady?
	Yeah, that's right.
	No, he pulled a fucking ringtone.
	He sampled a ringtone for this.
	Viacom has like a fucking like, if you can subscribe to like their, uh, what do they call it when songs aren't, uh, when they're totally public, uh, public domain, when they're public, like they're all these like remade song, public domain songs that you can just pull shit from.
	Royalty free.
	You could type in the Real Slim Shady and they'll give you a royalty version of the beat.
	Now this guy, this guy texted a number to a singing frog and got, got his choice of three ringtones.
	I love that whole area.
	There's only two genders, and one of them is the singing frog, the other one is a laughing emoji.
	Exactly.
	To Scouts!
	Dash BSA.
	Which BSA stands for Boy Scouts!
	But I digress.
	Oh my god, Graham, why are you making such a big deal out of this?
	Shut up, hippie.
	I'll tell you why it's a big deal.
	We're raising our children in a society that makes it seem like it's okay to not have to believe in things that are.
	We live!
	In a society!
	Listen to this sentence.
	Dude, it's so bad.
	Children in a society is a big deal.
	We're raising our children in a society that makes it seem like it's okay to not have to believe in things that are.
	And by things that actually are, I mean that there are in fact differences between men and women.
	And we need to protect these differences or else they'll just magically disappear.
	Dude, he think real good.
	If he was real tight, he would have been playing Offspring in the background.
	Well then we would have assumed he's a fucking racist.
	We would have known he's a racist Orange County fucker at that point.
	No, but what if he had been drinking Dexter's hot sauce?
	That would have shown that he's down for Mexican culture.
	Just chillin' back on a bottle of Gringo Bandito.
	That's okay!
	I'm not saying that women are inferior to men or men are superior to women.
	I'm saying that we are different and it's okay to teach our kids that we're different!
	I don't care what you- So yeah, you have to teach your kids how different they are or else they won't be different anymore.
	Right.
	And that would be terrible if we were all more similar to each other.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, this guy's clearly fucking prejudiced.
	If I ask, you wanna be a girl that wants to be a dude or a dude that wants to be a girl?
	Cool!
	But don't tell me and my family that if we wanna be in the Boy Scouts, we have to believe otherwise to be in there.
	There are two genders.
	Yeah, I said it.
	You literally don't have to believe shit to be in the Boy Scouts.
	You just have to pay your dues.
	Yeah, that's it.
	Just give them money and you can believe whatever gnarly shit you want.
	Dude, the internet has magnified every racist.
	Like, this guy has like 2.3 million views on this fucking video.
	Yeah, dude.
	39,000 shares.
	It's a minute-long video of him screaming at a high pitch.
	It's coded racism.
	It's not like blatant racism, but it's blatantly coded racism.
	Or just prejudice in general, like genderism.
	Is that a word?
	Sexism.
	It's basically the idea of white genocide except it's male genocide.
	It's the idea that we need to keep white people separate from black people or Mexican people or else the white people will be exterminated, which is a word that we had in a previous comment.
	No, not in a previous comment, in the song itself.
	In the MAGA Choir song itself, it accused the liberals of wanting to exterminate men.
	Pretty cool.
	Thank you for pointing this out, Matt, because it is totally accurate.
	It is like a weird racist argument, but for sexism, for genders.
	It is racist, still.
	It's got the same exact structure and some hint of racism to it.
	I can't help but see that in it.
	You know what I mean?
	It's totally sexist.
	It's like an argument for segregation.
	Right, that's exactly what it is.
	So like he said, we gotta teach our kids to be different or they're not gonna know they're different.
	It's like, okay, yeah, keep your fucking people segregated, you piece of shit.
	That's a galaxy brain take.
	Well, I would be scared too if like, you know, I had my sweet, sweet white husband at home, but deep in my photos on my iPhone is definitely a screenshot of Ibris Elba.
	And that's kind of what I look at on the low, but no one knows about it except for a couple of my girlfriends.
	I would also be scared of, like, white men being wiped out.
	True, I mean, you got a guy walking around like that, swinging dick.
	Gotta watch the fuck out for a gunslinger.
	Get yourself a gunslinger.
	Was that a Dark Castle joke?
	Yeah, Dark Castle, buddy.
	That's what it should be called, because that movie is not The Dark Tower.
	Fuck that movie.
	Oh, Dark Tower, yeah, there you go.
	Oh, Castle Rock's coming out soon, by the way.
	Whoop, I don't know what that is.
	That's a new Stephen King, uh... It's like the meta, the meta book or the meta movie.
	It's not, it's like, yeah, they're doing, it's a show, it's Stephen King and J.J.
	Abrams, cause 11-22-63 was pretty sick.
	Uh, they're doing a new show where it's like, each episode is like a different Stephen King story, and like, new stories based on different Stephen King, like Pet Sematary, all the shit that takes place in Castle Rock.
	Anyway... Do you want to go ahead with this comment you got here, Tony?
	So this is, these are comments from, from Scream Man's video.
	This is just like, people, just how basic people are.
	Kimberly... Dally... Lindner?
	Lindner?
	Had to let him know.
	Holy shit, every time you scream it cracks me up and makes my day.
	Every time you scream it makes my day.
	My day is great.
	I love it when the Scream Man screams.
	Oh yeah, dude.
	If you happen to be Kimberly Daly's co-worker, and you see her kind of in a funk or whatever, just walk up to her and scream Bazinga in her face, and oh god, you'll make her day.
	But you have to do it like a bird.
	But dab her gabbing.
	Deb is actually an activist, but she's not very good at it.
	Since Deb is in that guy's comment thread, she's only allowed to say... No, that's not a guy.
	You can't say me too, Deb.
	I think Deb is actually an activist, but she's just not very good at it.
	Since Deb is in that guy's comment thread, she's only allowed to say...
	Oh, that's not...
	No, no.
	That's not a guy.
	That's just Kimberly who happens to have...
	Keanu Reeves.
	Keanu Reeves as her profile pair.
	It's like, I think it's like a John, it's either John Wick, Keanu Reeves or Squarespace Keanu Reeves.
	I don't know, but have you seen those videos of Keanu Reeves training?
	He's doing tactical training.
	He's clearly shooting them all.
	He's lovely.
	He's an incredible human.
	It makes, uh, it makes John Wick, like, more believable to me.
	Like, when I watch him do it in real life, I'm like, oh shit, maybe he did kill millions of people.
	Pretty sick movies.
	I didn't see Eber's Elbow training that way, so that's why I never watched that movie.
	Um, dude, he's gonna do Bill and Ted.
	They're gonna do it, dude.
	Oh, weird.
	I don't know.
	I saw the fucking shot.
	They look great, dude.
	Thelma Reynolds Scott.
	I think this is our last comment for this Boy Scouts bullshit of America.
	Thelma Reynolds Scott says, It's shameful that girls now input themselves in the Boy Scouts.
	I'm so ashamed of many so-called women who think they should be involved in every club, etc.
	a guy is.
	Nice.
	Just ashamed of women.
	What is their problem?
	Women will be the downfall of America.
	Here we go, here's the... So let's, let me go back and revise the intro to this episode.
	The world is ending.
	Women are responsible.
	We're documenting.
	America is ending, dude.
	Sorry, I ruined your joke.
	I know Andy.
	What is the world if not America?
	Right.
	Ah, fuck, you're right.
	We are the global police.
	What is their problem?
	Women will be the downfall of America.
	Remember Adam and Eve?
	I'm glad she's citing examples.
	Very glad.
	Yeah, we all remember Adam and Eve in, you know, Lest We Forget.
	The Tree of Good and Evil.
	I don't think that's what it's even called.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	You're thinking of that movie with Michelle Pfeiffer.
	Yeah.
	Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.
	Hell yeah.
	Sexy flick.
	Sexy flick.
	Isn't that really Michelle Pfeiffer in there?
	I don't know.
	I don't even know if it's sexy.
	The tree of good and evil, I think she needs to take a bite of the tree of knowledge.
	She should try it to learn which tree she's eating from.
	And not eat the tree of good and evil.
	Who ate first and enticed Adam?
	We all remember this happening.
	Never forget what really happened in that Bible.
	Yeah, remember that?
	I feel sorry for the men of today.
	I don't know if there'll be a fit female remaining.
	So, um... No, sorry to interrupt.
	There will be fit females remaining.
	They'll just all be assigned male at birth.
	Yeah.
	Totally, dude.
	That's totally fine.
	I think I can say this.
	I think, Thelma, you are a horrible woman.
	And I think, Thelma, you're not good at advocating for women.
	I think, Thelma, you need to maybe meet up with a friend, kill somebody, go on the run from the law, and end it by driving off a cliff.
	Yeah, do it.
	And hopefully someone with similar views.
	That was good.
	Good stuff.
	Good stuff here.
	Alright, so we're probably running close to the end of this episode.
	What do we got here?
	We got 15 minutes for this segment.
	Want to crush on this a little?
	So basically what happened on Hannity Rudy Giuliani went on to schmooze with the softest interview possible.
	I mean, Sean Hannity is just basically a member of the White House press team at this point.
	He suckles the udder of the white cow.
	Yeah, that's not an exaggeration.
	That's literal.
	He's just a propaganda arm of the White House.
	Rudy Giuliani went on to, I think, intentionally reveal that Donald Trump did, in fact, pay back Michael Cohen for the hush money.
	Because that's the good kernel here, right?
	That he paid back Michael Cohen for the money?
	The good kernel?
	What do you mean by good?
	That's what makes Donald Trump a good guy?
	No, I think it's because it was going to come out eventually, and so they wanted to do it first.
	Do you think they sick Giuliani out there to do it on purpose?
	Yeah, I think that's probably the most likely.
	There was a really good episode of FiveThirtyEight Politics where they talked about it.
	It's probably the most recent episode from Friday.
	They had a constitutional scholar on to discuss the ramifications of what this means and it really doesn't change much.
	It's basically just like a small admitting defeat in the public eye, and it's trying to do it on your own terms.
	It's trying to do it so that it doesn't get leaked out of the FBI investigation or come out during the court case.
	He needs to come out about those pee tapes already, man.
	But it's just terrible optics.
	I mean, like, Rudy Giuliani is the textbook definition of terrible optics.
	Oh yeah, he sucks, dude.
	He's on Hannity with his fucking teeth falling out of his head.
	Are you sure they weren't spinning around in his head, dude?
	I don't think he has the macular... What's the word for your jaw?
	Macular dexterity to spin dentures.
	Too much dope in the 80s, man.
	Nancy Pelosi, on the other hand.
	She does, dude.
	What that mouth do?
	So this is like...
	Just really funny.
	It's just like that's just all it is.
	It's like everybody who pretended like Michael Cohen never paid Stormy Daniels any money and it's all been a big smear campaign like and Donald Trump didn't know anything about it like that's what's really in question as to whether Donald Trump lied repeatedly on TV about whether or not he knew about the hush money payments and there's a discrepancy as to when Rudy Giuliani said he paid him back and the way he describes it is great because he's like
	Well, the thing about the money is, and Hannity's like, well, they funneled it through a legal organization, right?
	And it's funny that that's... Through a bank or something like that?
	No, he said like through a law firm, I think.
	And it's funny because he's saying that as like...
	Trying to help the interview?
	Like, you know how people love to hear that the president funneled money through a legal organization in order to pay somebody back money that they didn't want public?
	Yeah, I'm used to that.
	Something I'm totally used to all the time.
	And Giuliani goes, well yeah, and the president paid it back.
	And Hannity's response is, Oh, uh... Oh, I didn't know that.
	I didn't- I didn't know, uh, you could do that.
	When I say I didn't know that, what I'm referring to is the conversation we had five minutes before we started recording this segment when you told me everything we were going to talk about except for that one thing.
	Yeah, it's clear that, like, the whole thing is, like, a big, like, piece that was organized and, like, like, written out and shit, but except for that...
	What was actually really upsetting for Hannity about this is that picture of Hannity at the Bunny Ranch, Trump was actually there with him and he paid for Trump, but Trump never paid him back.
	Nope.
	He's just a good foot soldier.
	Yeah.
	I want to go on record saying that picture, that photo of Sean Hannity at the Bunny Ranch, It doesn't actually show him in a standoff with federal agents.
	The family are the ones who were really involved in that.
	He was just there, I'm assuming, as a reporter.
	He didn't actually take over the wilderness refuge area.
	I imagine like this whole Cheech and Chong scenario where like there's a shootout between the family and like the FBI or whatever and like and Hannity's back there like going in and out of like the doors like back and forth like grabbing a lady like come on you know I don't know what I was really gonna say is I don't care if like Hannity paid for sex like sex should like prostitution should be legal but he's a fucking hypocrite Yeah, but that's not a good argument.
	It's like, because you have to say, like, you have to seem to come out against... If you're trying to shame him for prostitution, like, what does that say about your thoughts about prostitution?
	You know what I mean?
	I think prostitutes should be legal, but I think they... I mean, I'm sure his... He's a Christian, right-wing conservative, and... Nobody actually believes that, though.
	Right, he's just a fuck.
	The only thing that's funny about that is that he took a picture, like, he posed for a picture.
	That's the only funny thing about it.
	Do we have a timestamp on that at all?
	No.
	Fuck, man.
	Okay, so I'm just gonna pick a few to go through from here.
	So this was a post in one of the QAnon groups I'm part of, and the post was, What's everyone's take on the news that Rudy just said that Trump reimbursed Cohen for payments to Stormy?
	What a sentence.
	Is this some sort of distraction or what?
	I, that's, that's like the conspiracy theory, like the overarching Q conspiracy theory is literally just this is a distraction.
	From something.
	That's like, like everything is a distraction.
	That's like as far as the conspiracy goes.
	Well no, he's distracting everyone from what he's really doing, dude.
	The real good work.
	Yeah.
	I just cannot believe President Trump would pay this.
	Okay, well maybe you're learning something new, Janet.
	- Yeah. - D Bursell says, "A nice ruse by the Trump team.
	Mainstream media buying up the fake news.
	Wink, ha ha ha." - Sucks. - This is really interesting because you're like, you're describing what the president is doing, not what the media is reporting, but what the president is actually doing as fake news in a good way.
	This is like a real interesting take to me.
	Hey man, knowledge squabbles, gotta have them.
	I think in the end, oh I love this comment, this is more about like the fantasy commenter, the fantasizing commentator, Lin Ray Howard Excuse me.
	I think in the end we will find out that Trump's good friend Stormy is running another distraction.
	Okay?
	Good friend.
	She's like a double agent?
	Well, I know this take.
	She's a double D agent, bro.
	After all, the Dems are sucking it up like Kool-Aid.
	She twice has said nothing happened.
	They talked about business.
	Wait, in their defense, she is an agent.
	She's a property agent.
	It's a good point.
	And then Lynn Baldwin Wetterings.
	What the fuck kind of name?
	Remember that game Wetterings where you like you leave you leave those drops of water off the cliffs and shit?
	No.
	It's like a Lemmings joke.
	I don't know.
	Oh, okay.
	God.
	Kill me.
	Get back to LB.
	Get back to LB Dubs comic.
	LBdub says, I have a parenthesis small nagging feeling that she is playing a necessary part and maybe more wishful thinking than anything though.
	Okay.
	Some self-awareness there.
	It would be awesome to have it end this way.
	I love this, like, just openly fantasizing about what reality is.
	Yeah.
	This is like, so on That Awful Sound, we had a good episode on Crawling in the Dark by Hoobastank.
	And this is what those lyrics are.
	When will I find out how my story's ending?
	I just want to know.
	I'm crawling in the dark.
	I can't see the next chapter's beginning.
	Because there's a whole narrative to everyone's fucking life and everything in life.
	I hope everybody's singing it in their head right now.
	I am crawling in the dark, looking for the answers.
	Now you're gonna fucking see it.
	Is there something more?
	Yes.
	There was a great comment in that episode about a dude who knew that he had a part to play in the end of the world.
	Holy fuck.
	And he related to this song because he was also searching for what the meaning was in this feeling he had.
	He had dreams about his place at the end of the world, but he could never see past the dream.
	And what happens?
	Does he become the villain?
	Does he have a hand in bringing down the end of the world or will he be there to help save some lives?
	He might get the low ground and Obi-Wan might get the high ground and he might fall into a pit of lava and turn into the evil guy.
	Exactly.
	It's like a reasonable take to have when you're a 15 year old boy and reading a lot of science fiction or fantasy where everything is geared toward your white self, discovering new abilities you never knew you had.
	It's like when I thought that in the shower the water runs off your fingertips and I thought that I could control that water maybe.
	Maybe if one day, maybe when I hit puberty, I could make that water, control that water and have my part to play.
	But I didn't and then all of our neighborhoods burned down.
	Dude, I was taking mushrooms last night and like I was taking a shower and like I was like I was putting my finger in it and like I was like tripping out of the water.
	Yeah, in the water.
	Yeah, and like it was like tripping out of the water bent around my finger.
	So like, I mean, that's kind of magic.
	Yeah, it's kind of magic.
	Yeah, in a way.
	In a way, everything's magic.
	When you're on mushrooms.
	Yeah, what if Stormy Daniels actually has a Horcrux inside of her and she has to sacrifice herself in order to actually kill Nancy Pelosi and then she gets to decide whether or not to come back and then finally take that last great adventure when she's ready.
	Exactly.
	I thought the Horcrux was her G-spot and Trump just couldn't find it, dude.
	Not this time.
	Insert magic wand joke.
	We probably gotta start winding down.
	Okay, Casey Collins, this is a fun one.
	Casey Collins and then Debbie.
	Casey Collins says, sorry, I'm no longer buying this idea that the Trump team is playing some kind of 4D chess game.
	Home glass.
	too much is actually hurting our president ding ding ding wow distracting him from his presidential duties ding ding i mean not like he needed anything to distract him from that but he is saying it himself i'm very fearful for our president and our country sand our freedom Seriously, and I think she's talking about what's gonna happen if we let these Muslims invade is they're gonna sand our freedom Well, they're gonna invade all the sandy territories of our nation.
	Mm-hmm, you know Camels and stuff and then Yeah, Cammy Fulton has the take that you were talking about, Tony.
	If my personal attorney took it upon himself to pay somebody, even for something like this that I didn't know about, I'd pay him back.
	What upright human being would not pay him back?
	Dude, I wouldn't fucking pay someone back that amount of money.
	No, man, it's like when you go out to dinner and, you know, your friend insists on paying, so I'm like, you know what?
	I got the tip.
	And then you leave like an obnoxious tip.
	Like, you leave like 5% or something.
	Or a huge tip.
	Or like double the bill.
	That's what good people do.
	Right.
	Well, see, you can solve a lot of these problems with today's sponsor, Cash App.
	Cash App.
	You sign up for the Cash App, you can split that bill with your buddy.
	Cash App's actually putting like $3,000 in our Patreon account every month.
	So thank you, Cash Crap.
	And then finally, Debbie French Luna says a bunch of bullshit, and the last thing she says is, Also, if it is true about his affair, also if it is true, at least he had the guts to do an adult prostitute, unlike some of these pedophile elitists.
	So, wait around in my theory about how you right-wing fucks just talk about and think about pedophilia all the time?
	No, it's true.
	In today's society, like, we're so screwed up that it takes real balls not to have sex with a child.
	Yeah.
	Not take the easy way out.
	You know, he's good, he never fucked those kids, and like, he's like, he never fucked a kid.
	Yeah, like, don't get me wrong, I am super pumped to hear that There's no evidence of Donald Trump ever, you know.
	Oh no, there's evidence of him walking in on underage girls while they're undressing.
	Dang it, there it goes.
	But let me just say, like, it's fucking abhorrent that we're at the point in politics and history where someone like Debbie French Luna is defending Trump just by saying, well, at least he's not a pedophile.
	What the fuck, dude?
	And that's somehow like a courageous act to not be a pedophile.
	Yeah, so I just wanted to leave us with this.
	A friend of the show, previous guest, Lee, wanted us to deliver a message on behalf of one of her friends.
	I'm just going to read from her post.
	Uh, Lee says, one of my friends that I met through another podcast group has a trans child who is an elementary school student in Sacramento.
	Oh man.
	The school has drawn the attention of some really hateful assholes, including the Westboro Baptist Church.
	Oh my god.
	You remember them?
	No, I never heard of them.
	Unfortunately, I have.
	They have already picketed the school once.
	Man, really cool.
	Really good stuff.
	And plan to do so again next Wednesday.
	So I'm assuming they mean May 9th.
	Down here, May 9th.
	This Wednesday.
	So two days from now.
	My friend, along with a large number of the community, Is working to counter the WBC with messages of love and acceptance to block out the hatred that is targeting a first grade child and her peers.
	Uh, this is obviously terrible, terrible inhuman shit, but the community is rallying around this, this young girl.
	And, uh, if you were in Sacramento or if you know anyone in the Sacramento area and would like to participate or even just like, you know, try to find a way to send at least, you know, emotional support or whatever, Here's the info.
	The school is Rocklin, R-O-C-K in the USA, L-I-N, Rocklin Academy Gateway Elementary.
	And this is in Northeast Sacramento.
	This is again Wednesday, May 9th at 830 a.m.
	Note, do not engage with the Westboro Baptist Church.
	They will do everything in their power to antagonize and provoke.
	Don't give them the satisfaction.
	Uh, and, you know, she thanks everybody and we thank everybody, uh, for thinking about this and considering helping.
	Yeah, go out there.
	Bring some flowers.
	Give them some chocolates to the B.C.
	Like, make them just be lovely and piss them off that way.
	Real quick, let's go back to what I was talking about earlier with the field trip experience.
	This is a real thing going on.
	This is an issue that's going on.
	It's not the random kid you see on Ellen.
	It is happening everywhere and they need our support.
	These are your kids.
	These are your friends' kids.
	These are you when you were a kid.
	It's fucking segregation, man.
	There's actually a really great episode of Slate's Parenting Podcast I listen to.
	It's just called Slate's Parenting Podcast.
	I love it.
	Like three episodes ago, they had, I think it's called The Falling Piano Edition, and it was mostly based around trans kids, and it was a really good episode.
	A lot of good resources in it.
	If you guys have kids or are interested in parenting, it's a good podcast.
	That's cool.
	I just wanted to say I know we have some Non-binary, trans, gender-fluid listeners, I just want to say we love you folks.
	We send out all our support to you folks, not to single you out, I hope this isn't embarrassing, but we genuinely do love you and are trying to influence society for the better, hopefully, trying to use our privilege to make things a little better.
	And you know, we're people, we're learning too, like we're learning, you know, how The world is, and we accept the spectrum, and we're all on it, too.
	So, like, you know, educate us, you know?
	Let's talk and love each other and fucking hug.
	Cool.
	Oh, hey, fucking housecleaning time, dude.
	We got a fucking... We switched it up, so... I mean, I wasn't gonna let you do it, but I like to talk.
	We're switching it up, so fucking Thursday, you're gonna get the new... We're gonna get the Patreon episode, so go to patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
	$311.
	311 cents.
	$311 a month, $311 a month gets you 4 extra episodes a month so you get a total of 8 episodes a month.
	That goes right into your podcast app.
	gets you a fucking two, no, four extra episodes a month.
	So you get a total of eight episodes a month.
	And yeah, fucking.
	That goes right into your podcast app.
	So you, you set it up once you, you donate it at three 11 a month and you get a little code.
	You plug that code right into your podcast app and it generates a new show.
	Like you just subscribed to a new podcast and that automatically updates every week when you get a bonus episode.
	And guess what?
	You get Patreon-exclusive artwork.
	Yeah dude, it's a tight one.
	And then smash that motherfucking five stars.
	Write us a couple lines about how much you love us and want us to do better and get more exposed out there.
	And expose shit.
	Oh yeah, thanks to the few new ratings and reviews we had, one of them was from somebody who gave us five stars, but their review was, Tony made me do this.
	So you know who you are.
	Hearsay, hearsay.
	What about the other one?
	There was another new one, wasn't there?
	Okay, yeah, so also thank you to loltomdied.
	Probably referring to Tom from Myspace, who is so over... Oh, that's it.
	I think that's who they're talking about.
	What'd they say?
	They said, they're funny guys talking about Facebook, and guess what?
	It's pretty cool.
	Nice.
	I wholeheartedly agree.
	Also, thanks to Jamie Gonzo, and thank you to Nosloka, who leaves an interesting post-modern comment about how Tony made them write a review.
	It's either very funny or very mean.
	It's a strange kind of comedy I'm not familiar with.
	Some 2028 shit.
	Thank you guys, we love you.
	MinionDeathCult at gmail.com, MinionDeathCult on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
	Hit us up, follow us.
	Rate and review.
	Thanks.
	Bye.

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