Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get a premium episode every week This week we cover the rich vein of terrible responses to the Cosby conviction, which range from: "This is cool, but I'm pissed that #metoo gets credit" to "Why weren't these women prosecuted for taking the drugs Cosby gave them?" We also cover the NRA's incredible revelation that guns are dangerous and that their conference with Trump will in fact be a gun-free zone. There are also, surprisingly, some bad takes here.
Because Vlone has a fucking pop-up in Atlanta going on, and we're like rushing to get all this shit done.
I wanted to ask you, do you think they need any models?
Because I'm looking real good lately.
That is not our bag.
That is all whatever the fuck Bari and fucking... Just send them this.
Yeah, you'd look tight.
Huh?
Maybe what?
Yeah, totally.
That's funny because I'm looking at this book and it says, Matt Zeidner, finding Vlone models is definitely my bag baby.
Yeah, I'll tell them, I'll say, have a guy who's a good model.
And they'll be like, that's pretty gay dude.
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when we're going to go to the desert.
Follow their embargo full start.
Stay tuned.
My name is Alexander Edward.
I'm Matt.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
Man, that was just so bad.
I can't do it anymore.
It'd be alright if you didn't comment on it every time you do it.
Just do it and let the listener decide.
I dug it.
I thought it was good.
Listener, write on in to the show and let me know exactly what that sounded like.
Yeah, alright, so the world is ending.
The NRA is responsible for this week.
We're documenting it.
So this week, your mid-week MDC is all about Bill Cosby, America's dad, going away.
He's gone.
He's gone away.
He's gone away.
And we're talking about probably the most diverse series of takes I've ever seen in one comment section.
Hmm.
Let's run the spectrum here.
I had a couple really cool posts about Bill Cosby from around Facebook and I literally only ended up using one post because I just couldn't stop getting massive galaxy brain takes from it.
Yeah.
We had one post that was If Bill Cosby can go to prison for, uh, if Bill Cosby can be charged for his past, shouldn't white people be charged for slavery?
Asking for Bill.
That was posted in the Deplorables group, uh, and there were 1.2 thousand comments on that.
It's a hot take!
And I couldn't even, I couldn't even get there.
Couldn't even get to it.
Uh, but, so, we'll be talking about those amazing Bill, excuse me, Bill Cosby takes.
And we'll also be talking about the NRA finally realizing that gun control is good and safe for... Is it for Trump too or just Mike Pence?
I think it's for Trump as well.
It's to protect them from all those wacky liberals with guns.
Those liberal gun owners.
If they want to control guns, maybe they should start by giving up the Secret Service.
You know what I'm saying?
That's step number one.
Lead by example.
Yeah, it would be a good show of faith to just totally disband the Secret Service and walk out into the street.
My favorite thing I've been saying about the Secret Service is the nonchalant shorthand of Secret Service, just calling them the SS.
Like, all throughout the entire comment section.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah.
The SS.
The SS is heavily armed.
Sure.
Do y'all know about what the... No, we mean the good SS.
You're still not clarifying it for me.
Aren't they all good?
No, I'm talking about the gelato in Nazi Germany.
Oh, is that a Gestapo joke?
Yeah, I think so.
Okay, cool, cool.
Yeah, so let's just get into this Bill Cosby thing.
So, Bill Cosby was on trial recently.
He was found guilty on all three counts for indecent assault and other charges relating to drugging and then raping women.
Um, this trial in particular dealt with, uh, just one victim, Andrea Constand.
Um, she went over to his house basically, you know, without getting into the, I guess, gory details of it.
Uh, it was like 2004, she went over to his house and, you know, he assaulted her.
Drugged her.
She went to the cops like a year later and the former Montgomery County District Attorney Bruce Castor decided not to file charges in that case and instead Cosby settled with Constand In a civil lawsuit for 3.38 million dollars, which kind of just shows you, like, how innocent Cosby is, that he was, like, willing to spend that much money to, like, clear his name.
Yeah.
Like, you know, if he knew he was guilty, what would be the point?
Right.
It'd be worth it to stay, you know, keep it all quiet.
Yeah, but in late, I'm reading from a CNN article here, but in late 2015, as a groundswell of women spoke out with accusations against Cosby, and by groundswell, we mean 62 women spoke out with accusations against Cosby, Steele, the new prosecutor in Montgomery County, filed charges.
So that's why the trial is occurring now, the original assault happened in 2004, and Cosby was just found guilty of it.
I don't think this ever came out back then at all, right?
I mean, it only really came to light like three, four years ago?
If that?
That's the first time I kind of remember hearing all the Bill Cosby stuff.
It was one of those things that was supposedly, um, just like all the Hollywood stuff, people supposedly kind of knew about it, you know?
But, of course, not the people who did know about it, who were the poor women who were getting invited to his house.
Or a hotel room, or wherever.
Anywhere.
We should drop the rain hotline number somewhere here in this episode.
We'll get it by the end of this segment.
Somebody will get it.
Yeah, I'll get it by the end of this segment.
Yeah, so we're kind of working off an IJR Red video, which is this Facebook company that we've been talking about that has both a conservative channel and a lib channel, and it's all just clickbait shit.
Gettin' that money!
Superfluous, like, red meat clickbait shit for their respective audiences.
And it's kind of funny because this was a IJR Red video, which is obviously the conservative...
It's not communist, I thought it was communist at first.
Yeah, it's the conservative flavor of IJR.
It's the conservative version, um... Our buddies.
And there's like a sympathetic tone to this video.
It's a video with one of the, you know, alleged victims speaking out in, uh...
Gratitude about the conviction of Cosby, and how many women, and there's like, you know, sentimental music playing behind her and it's supposed to be this uplifting video, and it's like, what are you doing, IJR Red?
Like, you're trying to have a nice video on your conservative channel?
Well, this is really a difficult subject for these people.
Because, I mean, on one hand, you know, you have a black man getting what he deserves.
But, on the other hand, you have to believe women in order for that to happen.
So it's super hard for them to, like... It's quite the conundrum.
And then also, on top of it, Cosby was like an outspoken pull-up-your-pants guy.
Yep.
There's a lot of layers to this.
There is no Candace Owens without Bill Cosby.
Like a Jordan, right?
Jordan's a pull-up-your-pants guy, right?
I think Jordan's just an asshole.
Jordan's just an asshole.
Okay.
No, but like if you look closely at Cosby, he's like actually one of the good ones.
So, some people just don't look closely enough and they can't be blamed for that.
But no, like IJRRed was trying to have this uplifting video about justice finally being served on behalf of one woman out of 62.
And the comment section was not having it.
Like, before we even get into the deplorables comment section where this video was shared, just on the original post, like, All five to ten, like five, the ten top comments were all like, I don't believe these women.
Yeah.
Whores.
Why did they wait so long?
Yeah, they can't maintain their composure, uh, even on a fucking nice post, like.
It's just a joke.
It's, it's, it's the same, it's the same thing about Jeb Bush trying to speak Spanish to win over the upright Republican voters and Republicans are like, no, we want the guy who called Mexicans rapists.
That's what we want.
Who do you think we are?
I don't even know what the hell you just said right now.
Why should I vote for you?
We're just trying to get that Cuban vote.
It's such a joke.
It's like Hillary Clinton saying, we're gonna get the conservative housewives who are just so disgusted by Trump's antics.
And it's like, no, he's white.
He's white and he's yelling about Mexicans and black people.
Who are we fooling here?
So yeah, it was just pretty funny that it's just like this sentimental, swelling music, a woman crying with happiness and relief, some sort of relief, and just the comment section like, no, no, she sucks.
Like, fuck her.
I don't believe her.
It was really clear that, like, in this video, that this was not even about her.
This was about all of the women that came up and accused him.
And, like, all the women who are being faced with this thing right now where they're not being believed because you can't be a woman and accuse somebody of, you know, assaulting you without wanting something is what people are saying to them every day.
Yeah, and the cherry on top is that he's gonna go in fucking prison for 30 years till he fucking dies He won't serve 30 years.
They might have him because it was like 10 years per sentence or per conviction But they might like have him serve them concurrently or something like that.
I don't know how old's that fucker old 80 something yeah, hopefully he'll die Well, they actually made a documentary about his prison sentence.
You remember it?
It aired on MadTV.
Do you guys remember The Cause?
Do you guys remember The Cause, kids?
No.
No.
Was it Oz?
It was Oz, but it was Cause.
What the fuck?
All I remember is the one line when he says, I'm gonna try to do it.
You control the Muslims, I'll control the pudding.
Okay.
Now that's a MadTV joke if I ever heard it.
That was a MadTV joke?
Yeah, what year is that?
Before, I don't know, when I watched Mad TV, when Cos was, you know, relevant.
Man, Hollywood's known about Cosby for a long time, I feel like.
Okay, let's get into this.
So this was shared into the Deplorables group by Michael D. Juzwick, who says, Justice has been served.
Okay, interesting take already.
Justice has been served.
So glad he finally is held accountable for his deceitful attacks on women.
This is an amazingly, like, good comment for the Deplorables.
I'm impressed, Michael.
I'm very impressed.
Oh wait, there's more here.
Uh... Hyphen, hyphen.
Like, what the fuck, dude?
Like... Yeah.
My favorite thing about these things is... When these people are saying this stuff...
It's as if... Yeah, I don't think any women found themselves alone with Bill Cosby in the past couple years.
I'm pretty sure that's happened.
I'm pretty sure now... Yeah, that's ended.
Before, he was America's fucking sweetheart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was, you know, sweet grandpa.
Fucking Puddin' Pops, dude.
Puddin' Pops and sweaters.
Theo!
Theo!
Yeah, Theo.
Theo, dude.
Then to go to his house alone, they should have brought their fellow handmaid to the house, or should have been escorted by a brother.
They should have had their brother along with them.
Nice.
Walking in front of them.
They should have just called Michael.
Yeah, we'll get into it, but Michael D. is like a weird religious guy.
Nice.
Okay, Kelly Schubert commenting.
Like I said, this is just a wild assortment of fucking takes.
I didn't put these in any particular order.
Uh, I wanted to do this one first, actually.
Fabian Rosario says, bullshit.
About the, uh, you know, about the whole thing.
Bullshit.
Was a straight-up witch hunt.
I guess Trump's accusers were right, too.
Oh, what?
Now all the accusers are correct?
Yeah.
Jeez.
Do you realize how absurd you sound?
Can you imagine what would happen if we started believing women?
By your logic, I guess Trump's guilty too.
Look, if he was guilty, he'd be locked up already, okay?
Because everyone knows after you assault a woman, you take yourself straight to jail.
Claudio, did you have something else?
Why do these women perform a citizen's arrest?
He's trying to hurt me sexually.
I'm going to arrest you.
Take you to the cop shop.
Claudio Caiolino says, saying that the women should have been smarter as well than to go to his house alone is wrong and actually puts blame on the victims.
Absolutely.
Yeah, it's kind of interesting how if you're trying to blame the women in this second half of your post, it kind of negates the first half of your post.
Like if the women are guilty, then why does Bill Cosby need justice served against him?
Yes.
Right?
Like, what did Bill Cosby do wrong if it's these women who made the mistake?
Exactly.
Like, uh... There's, you know, two sides to the coin here.
Like, you know, I'm gonna consider everybody.
I think what he's saying, yeah, both sides are to blame.
Yeah.
There are good people and bad people on both sides of the Bill Cosby and the 62 women, uh, dynamic.
They're both good.
Cosby and the 62 women, they're all good.
Okay.
Claudio- Okay, yeah, I already said this.
Then Ron- So, Claudio calling Michael an asshole.
And then Rhonda Wolfe, you know- Oh, he says not to blame the victims.
Rhonda Wolfe says, kind of like when Hillary said that 12-year-old girl was asking for it.
And I was like, what the fuck is this talking about?
So this is referring to I believe I don't I didn't even bother looking it up again because I'm so sick of the story but there was like a there was like a meme going around about how Hillary as a public defender had to defend a child murderer or a child rapist I don't remember the details and they used that they they took some quote that she said about how
The whole situation was so fucked up, like, she had to laugh at it, because I think she ended up getting the guy off.
And she said something like, it was just crazy, and like, all I could do was laugh, like, and it's a weird, kind of a weird thing to say, but, uh, you can understand kind of what she meant by it, and it turned into a meme about how Hillary laughed in the face of a 12 year old rape victim.
This is a pretty big stretch.
It's a pretty big stretch.
It's just the same thing as Hillary testifying about Benghazi and saying, what difference does it make whether the riots were caused by a video or caused by the anniversary of 9-11?
The fact is that six people are dead.
Yeah.
And they took that and just isolated what difference does it make and said that she said that about his death.
Yep.
Like it's the same, it's the same thing that happened there.
Anyway, so that evolved, that evolved from her laughing about a 12 year old getting raped to her saying that the 12 year old was asking for it.
Like this is just, this is what it is now.
It's a game of telephone, they play with themselves.
Yeah, with their own brain.
Oh man, I just... They make this deep cut reference as if someone's gonna be like, oh yep, she's got a point there, as if they're just gonna know exactly... They all know what she's talking about.
That's the whole thing, it's part of their whole canon, like we've said.
Terry Dealman Cornella says, I believe if there is hardened evidence, a man should be convicted.
Is this like a dress joke?
If there's hardened evidence?
Other women claiming he had assaulted them without evidence shouldn't count.
Like what?
This is all you're saying.
Like, isn't testimony evidence?
Isn't that like... That's up to the jury, I guess, right?
But like... What the fuck?
I want to say that this is one of the few times justice is actually served here.
You know what I mean?
So you're saying his conviction was a good thing?
Yeah.
Big time good thing.
I don't know what these people want from rape victims.
What kind of evidence do you think they had?
Why are you not pulling out your phone and recording the whole thing?
Why are you not collecting a sample of his skin?
That's pretty much it.
Where's the rape kit?
How come they don't understand the complexities of all this stuff?
It baffles me.
And what's really sad when these people... When these people are like...
Speaking hypotheticals when like if I was raped, this is how I would do it.
Yeah.
Well, luckily you you luckily you're not speaking from experience, hopefully and It's much more complex than that It's what's crazy is like what do you guys remember the percentage off the top of your head of like the percentage of white women that voted for Donald Trump is over half okay, so like 97.3% Yeah, and that's after all the Accusations came out about Trump, right?
Yeah, and so like it's after taxes are taken out and I don't want to say keep saying the r-word over and over again, but Like I'm sure that a percentage of those women that voted for Donald Trump have had an experience like that for some percentage I mean, so just I don't know man, and then just white women are just fucking insane What the fuck you doing?
Look out for your fellow women!
The argument is that Hillary is married to another predator.
It was a pretty bad set of options.
um and you know it's it was it was a pretty bad you know bad bad set of options um bad yeah when it comes to having respect for women for sure yeah it's a bad set Yeah.
We got a jerk and an a-hole.
Which one you gonna vote for?
Amber Key says, they waited too long for me to care.
What the fuck, dude?
Can you imagine being Amber Key's friend?
And Amber being like, oh my god, that happened so long ago, can you please get over it?
She just reads 05.
It happened so long ago, I don't even care anymore.
Yeah, she reads those like old years.
She's like, what the hell?
I was like three when that happened.
Like, I don't care.
Man.
There's like an expiration date on the level of sympathy I have towards women.
It's a sympathy statute?
Isn't suppressing these things supposed to be common knowledge now, right?
Oh, that these things get suppressed by people, victims?
The way that our minds work should be a little bit more common knowledge now, right?
Yeah.
Sometimes your brain will work in a way that will literally block out these memories so that you can continue.
Yeah, not only that, I mean, maybe your brain doesn't even block out the memory of it happening, but just, you're not in a position to where anyone would A, believe you, judging by these comment sections, or B, you know, you need that job, or, you know, You need to not be ostracized from your family, because maybe it's a family member?
Like, there's... I don't know.
It's stuff that I can't imagine, and it's kind of crazy that most of these comments that we're reading tonight, if not most, at least half, are from women.
Um, it's crazy.
It sucks.
Kathy Dukes says, there was a time when a woman's word was truth and not to be questioned.
Those days are gone.
Today we have paid prostitutes whose word is believed over a man's word.
Sad world we live in.
What the fuck?
I thought this comment was going good for a second and then... Yeah, Kathy, you should absolutely believe a paid prostitute.
I mean, The transaction happened, they got their money for their services, and I don't know why they lie about it.
They got receipts.
Yeah, you should totally believe them.
Shut the fuck up.
No, yeah, I thought she was talking about, like, the, you know, the, before the patriarchy, you know, the great patriarchy that's lasted the last few thousand years wiped out the great matriarchal societies.
I thought that's what she was referencing here.
Well, last time I believed a woman, uh, I ate this apple that basically cursed the whole earth.
You know?
Friggin' apple.
Gave you a bunch of brain... brains.
Smart.
Wouldn't that be crazy, though, if, like, there was, like, thousands of years matriarchal societies that existed before these patriarchal societies?
That'd be pretty crazy, dude.
I've heard a trippy dude.
That'd be sweet.
There is, but the island is surrounded with a forest where you can't see it, and that's where Wonder Woman's from.
That's right.
We talked about this on the show before.
I don't know when this time was.
I mean, you guys are like, I guess, doing jokes about matriarchal societies.
No, no, I actually think that'd be tight.
I'm just saying there's a time when a woman's word was truth and to not be questioned.
I don't know when this time was.
I mean, maybe if she was accusing a black dude of something, then sure, we don't question her word.
Other than that, I don't think we listen to women at all before a certain point.
She's literally just remembering when she was a kid and her dad would be like, gotta believe your mom!
And that was it.
That's all she's remembering.
Michael D, original poster, OP replies, and it's gonna get much worse.
Read the book of Revelation on what's coming.
Sweet.
Upon all whores and whoremongering men, Hugh Hefner published cartoons of child rape and molesters.
So where did men who read his profanities get the ideas to rape children?
Like Ben Carson says, think about it.
Okay.
Think about it.
Just think about it.
To quote the great Ben Carson, think about it.
You'll get it.
Yeah, remember when he said that?
The first person to say that, too.
Uh... To quote Ben Carson, you know.
Well, you know, uh... Hugh Hefner, he used to... He used to sexualize the women and make them all look like flutes and look what happened to him.
He's dead now.
Yeah, he died, eventually.
It's crazy, though, how, like, people don't even know, but, uh...
Hugh Hefner's penthouse was used to store grain.
It's where they used to store their grain.
Cool.
You guys are not as familiar with Ben Carson as I thought we might be.
All I know is this.
Which I'm sure you can hear at home.
Sleepy eyed?
Sleepy eyed Carson.
Tell me about the green.
It's like Ben Carson says, the pyramids were used to store grain.
Oh yeah, I know that.
It's like one of the top things about Ben Carson.
Yeah, that's true.
He's got this whole theory about the pyramids and shit.
Yeah, I forgot.
Shout out Champagne Sharks.
I heard them talking shit on Ben Carson's dumb ass.
I love this.
Hugh Hefner, the originator of child rape.
It's like, whoa.
It's like he sucks, but come on, dude.
Hugh Hefner is marijuana and the concept of time and space.
is is child rape and like man discovered playboy was like oh shit i gotta get on this child rape damn like look at these naked uh 25 to 32 year old women finally they finally read a playboy and and had their third eye open to how hot children were yeah for no apparent probably like wow this this cartoon It's really opening my eyes.
It's probably what he was writing between the lines of those fucking stupid articles or whatever.
It's like what Prometheus is about.
It shows that opening scene with Hugh Hefner landing on the ground and touching the ground and then all those sexy children rise up out of it.
All those hairless aliens.
I thought you were going to say he was touching the ground and he lifted his hand up and you could just see all the cum that was stuck to his hand from the floor.
I didn't say that.
No, but I mean, that's what I would have done without Joe.
Yeah, I thought for sure you were going to reference Come Forward 2.
Yeah.
Remember the Come Forward from Prometheus?
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, so Hugh Hefner published cartoons.
This dude has like a vendetta against pornography.
Yeah.
And like, I don't think I have the other comment in here, but he's like, I have seen what pornography does to men.
It's one of those guys.
You ever meet a guy like that?
It makes me feel real weird when I watch it.
Now, if we're gonna talk about this right now, I'm gonna give my little two cents about porno, okay?
Okay.
I've watched porno before.
Lots of it.
Plenty.
I do think that, like... Speak on it.
Well, no, I think it's pretty gross and fucked up in hindsight.
Like, I don't watch it too much anymore, uh, just because I think it's pretty...
It's not fair to women.
I think it's pretty grotesque.
I've never seen a real flattering porno.
You should watch anything other than Bang Bus.
No, dude.
Pornhub's got all the stuff, dude.
It's got every type of thing.
There's good porn, man.
Is there porno that I can look at and be like, this is... I feel okay about it?
I mean, I don't know what you like, but absolutely there's... The industry's come a long way.
There's a lot of women who are actually now producing pornography that's awesome.
It's called Stick Cam, dude.
Stick'em?
Stick Cam?
Stick Cam's not around anymore, dude.
I hear Cometown talking about it.
I think it's called, uh... What do they call it?
It's, uh... Fuck, man.
It's called LiveJournal.
No, no, no.
It's something like... Oh, Chatterbait.
That's what it's called.
Oh.
It's called Melodramatic.
Yeah, Melo... Melo... Yeah, Melodrama.
It's called Zenga.
Yeah.
Myspace.
But no, there's definitely great porn out there.
Good job.
Shoutout to Pornography.
Okay, cool.
We got that settled.
Cool.
Alright, um... Hugh Hefner's gross.
Yeah, I don't know if he ever published any cartoons about child rape though.
I don't hell no he didn't.
I don't think that's legal.
No, he's just disgusting, but I mean he's not like evil.
You know what I mean?
He's just a fucking old pervert, dude.
He was, yeah.
He was, until he died.
An old pervert.
Yeah, whatever.
Tom Turk... Says... From that show on RT, one of the Young Turks or whatever.
I was thinking he was just, this was like the cool nickname for a turkey.
Turkey Tom.
Tom Turk.
Tom Turkey.
Be short for Tom Turkey.
Okay, that's a pretty cool name, dude.
He says, hashtag, space, me, space, two.
On Facebook.
Which is how you do a hashtag.
On Facebook, though.
Facebook has hashtags.
Does it really?
Yeah.
Okay.
But he just, I don't know if it's intentional that he didn't make it a hashtag.
Well, he didn't want to be affiliated with it.
He had a space about it.
You're probably right, actually.
It wouldn't be in the links for him.
He didn't want to give them any more numbers, you know?
I'm sure.
He's like, they really should have done hashtag me also.
That's like the Black Lives Matter version, or no, the Blue Lives Matter version of Me Too, you know?
I fucked that joke up so bad.
They'll put it together in their heads.
Yeah, cool.
Okay, well that's not true.
Obviously, if that were true, there would be millions of men marching to prison right now.
But, I included this comment because he goes on to say right after this, When is the pedophile Bill Clinton going on trial?
Creepy Joe is creepy.
Willis replies or Joe Biden and Tom Turk says yeah creepy Joe now while I will admit that creep creepy Joe is creepy creepy he's creepy is there any evidence that Joe has ever Joe Biden that's who we're talking about ever like are there any allegations I don't think so.
I'm not saying that just because there are no public allegations doesn't mean it didn't happen.
I'm just saying that up here Tom Turkey is upset about 62 women coming forward against Bill Cosby and getting Bill Cosby convicted.
Whereas he would just love nothing more than to see Yeah Creepy Joe in prison based on one Facebook video of Joe Biden rubbing a girl's shoulders.
He's a cereal long hugger.
Well, he's a serial whisper in a little girl's ear for sure.
Yeah, Joe Biden's creepy as fuck.
He's probably killed all the people that he's ever witnessed or known anything that's happened.
Oh, that's why Hugh Hefner died.
See, here we go.
It's in the whole DC pedophile thing.
The cartoon was of Joe.
It's part of the DC universe.
The bad.
The bad universe.
It's the worst universe.
Sucks so much.
Can't even make movies.
Roger Montano says, Why didn't they, meaning the women that Bill Cosby drugged, Why didn't they get prosecuted for confessing to having possessed and consumed controlled substances not prescribed to them personally?
Fuck, man.
Oh my god.
That is the craziest fucking take here.
It's a wild, wild take.
It's crazy as fuck, dude.
Women who've been roofied took drugs is this tape.
And they admitted to it.
They admitted it.
They took drugs.
They're like, I know I took drugs.
I was high as shit.
Wait, so you're saying you were high?
Yeah.
You're saying you passed out from drugs?
I'm saying I was so high that, like, I, like, passed out probably partying hard.
Why am I signing this paper?
That's your confession, miss.
That you did drugs.
Actually, we're gonna have to throw your testimony out because it seems you were inebriated at the time.
Dude, what the fuck?
I don't think I've ever met anybody in my life that would say something like this in reality.
I think they just think they're being clever, too.
Yeah, you think so?
I love that it's like... It's like, yeah, my wife, she poisoned me.
She poisoned me at dinner.
And it's like, sir, are you confessing to stealing your wife's poison?
No, sir, are you confessing to attempted suicide right now?
You drank poison.
Did you?
Yeah, you gave it to yourself.
You put it in your body, yeah.
It's like, stop hitting yourself.
Oh man.
Cause you, I mean, do you get arrested for attempted suicide?
I'm pretty sure.
I don't think that, I think it's more complex than that.
I think you get, like, admitted.
Yeah.
Okay, it's illegal though, right?
Suicide's illegal.
It's technically illegal, but how do you prosecute it?
That always tripped me out, I'm like, what?
You just like, kick the corpse around a little bit.
Yeah, that's a wild take.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Okay, uh, Kelly Schubert, back to the Me Too thing.
Kelly Schubert, a woman named Kelly Schubert, says, I don't like her giving the George Soros-funded Me Too movement any credit, though.
And how about Harvey Weinstein?
How come they don't go after him?
It's like, what are you talking about?
Okay, so this is a real wild take.
The Me Too movement is absolutely responsible for getting stuff like this out in the open, for emboldening the district attorney to bring this to trial.
Didn't it start because of Harvey?
That's the second part of this.
So she says, how come they don't go after Harvey Weinstein?
Which that's, yeah, like the biggest target of the Me Too movement.
Yeah.
It's like, well, she's talking shit on it.
And then she's like, well, how come they don't go after Harvey then?
The fucking guy that like...
The guy that we only know about because of the Me Too movement.
Right, exactly.
It's like, what are you talking about here, you idiot?
They're just so brainwashed.
They're just so brainwashed that they can't even... They see Me Too happen, and they see the Cosby thing happen, and they're like, well, the Me Too movement is bad, but this Bill Cosby thing is good.
Yeah.
And trying to rectify that.
You're completely correct.
It's a lot of brainwash.
Patrick Harkins says, I am glad the gals won.
I hate Gloria Allred, though.
The lawyer who won this case?
Yeah.
Well, I guess the district attorney technically won the trial, but Gloria Allred was, you know, representing all these victims.
Cosby got kneecapped by a player for the other team.
How ironic.
Okay, so what the fuck does this mean?
Oh, yeah, and how ironic is in question it has a question mark So it's like how ironic how I know it's like how ironic.
Oh, no.
Yes.
No, it's not.
It's like a question It's like how ironic I just wanted to say this, you know what I wanted to say.
Oh Yeah, um, I just like that Patrick doesn't even know if it's ironic or not.
They're asking, he's asking how ironic?
Is this what irony is, right?
I don't know, help me out.
No, it's justice, technically.
Cosby got kneecapped by a player from the other team.
Yeah, he got convicted for what he did.
So, like, who does, how does Patrick think sports are played?
Like, who do you normally get kneecapped by?
The coach.
The benchwarmers?
No, no, it's the coaches versus the players.
I think what Patrick meant to say was Cosby got kneecapped by a player for his own team, which is still wrong.
Cosby, as we know, is a conservative, an anti-Obama, anti-Democrat conservative, which is the only reason that he was actually convicted according to like half of these comments in here.
Uh, Tony Cox says, She's a soapbox hero, with fame in her eyes.
Can you imagine singing this and being like, here's my chance.
Here's my chance to make this clever joke about this song.
No, dude, like, boomers love arbitrary, like, pun covers.
Like, Rocketman?
We all remember Rocketman, right?
Yeah, holy shit.
She's a soapbox hero.
Like, this is, like, the best you could come up with.
Like, dude was just listening to Foreigner, right?
Yeah.
When this was playing.
That's the only reason.
You texted this to the Slack, and, like, you said, this is for your dad, Matt.
Yeah, this is your dad, Matt.
This is my dad, Matt.
Like, if he was listening to Nirvana, it would be soap-shaped box.
Smells like soap box.
Smells like a soap box.
That's pretty good.
You're as cold as ice.
Bill Cosby paid the price, I know.
That's really good, actually.
That's the best one.
I like Thought Blooded.
Yeah, I like that one.
Thought Blooded's alright.
I like what you did.
A million times three.
I like the second one.
You son of a bitch, Alex.
A million times three.
It's either gonna be a million times three or three million point three.
That would have been hard to squeeze out though, so I'm happy you made the right choice.
You're not correct though in your mathematics, dude.
It was, it was 3.3.
I don't round up.
Okay, for sure.
It's 3.38 technically.
Yeah, come on man.
Deborah Gordy says, to all you victim shamers, if you've never been raped, shut the hell up.
And this is like one of the very few comments that I liked in this comment section.
But like yeah, shut the fuck up everybody in this comment section.
Yeah, for real.
Beverly Heilman Wehrman replies, to true rape victims, they have all my support, but I don't believe these women.
Like no, no reason given.
None.
Just doesn't believe these women.
Deborah Gordy, all 60 of them.
Flores La Maguena Perdia says, 62 and none talked before.
I believe some, but I am like in the middle like, what the heck?
Yeah, I don't think she's ever talked before either.
No, I'm just kidding.
But, uh... But, yeah, like I said, this was... Everybody just thinks that this particular trial was about something that happened in 1970-something.
Like... Yeah.
No, this happened in 2004.
She went to the cops.
A year later, the statute of limitations on rape is not one year.
No.
Um, but everybody just assumes that, like, this is something from the 70s that, uh, these women are all cashing in on now.
It's like, no dude.
He was old as fuck and did this shit.
- And Deborah Gordy says, "When a rich Hollywood elite "tells you that if you talk, he can ruin your life, "what would you do?
"It's comments like these that keep women "from telling anyone." - Right on, Deborah. - Yeah, and this is the comments section that think like, that think Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin are like cutting off the faces of children and eating them and like selling the corpses to democratic operatives in Washington, D.C.
They think probably rightfully so that there's a Hollywood like pedophile contingent that there's rampant abuse in these liberal elite circles but When somebody actually goes to trial, if it's... What is it?
Is it the fact that it's attached to the Me Too movement?
That's part of it.
It's a web.
It's really weird.
It's just weird, like... It's attached to the internet.
It's attached to millennials somehow because of hashtags.
I don't know what it is that discredits it.
But yeah, they're willing to believe these wild things.
These wild, off-the-cuff things that, you know... It's...
They want to be... They just want to be, like you said, contrarian.
Yeah, I think that's it.
Right, but then they just use these crazy stories to justify, like, okay, like you said about Hillary, like, oh, Hillary is clearly a fucking monster, and she's like, she's the one holding the fucking basement door open for Pizzagate, you know what I mean?
Like, no, there's no proof there, but fucking Cosby's convicted.
Cosby's a fucking rapist, and he's, you know what I mean?
And back to talking about rightfully so, they think Hollywood has pedophiles and shit.
Yeah, there's pedophiles everywhere.
All over the fucking world.
It's a fucking problem.
These people are just insane.
And they're super contrarian.
I think that's it.
They don't get to be the heroes in this one.
Because they're not the ones who sussed out Cosby's... The skeletons in Cosby's closet.
Like it was that actual...
It was an actual state apparatus, you know, that actually leveled justice in this instance.
I just came up with a cool idea.
If we get to a hundred dollars on our Patreon, we will actually, and I think you guys will be down for this, we'll actually sit down and come up with like a 10 point like thing of like what creates this modern conservative, you know, I think it'd be fun.
What's behind the apparatus?
Yeah.
Like what, what makes them tick?
She's talking about, like, some sort of manifesto that would be published all over the news once we've committed our final deed.
Yeah, it'd be tight, dude.
Okay, all right.
Yeah, we gotta have a manifesto.
Yeah.
Leave some evidence.
And we'll get them shirts done, probably.
Lynn Minton says, in all caps, There we go.
I just hope that he really is guilty of all charges, because if these- Because if these- Because if these women accused him after they tried to use him to further their careers, and he failed to produce, that would be a real travesty.
That would be the real travest- That would be a real travesty.
There are only two people who honestly know what happened, and to be honest, women scorned can be beyond vicious.
Fuck.
That's Lin.
I love that this take is, he better have raped these women, because if not, this would be a real tragedy.
I mean, he's really gonna miss the prime of his life right now.
Yeah.
Sorry for throwing up, by the way, while you're yelling.
That's alright.
Dude, Lin's a fucking jerk.
Women, believe me, women beyond scorn can be, or whatever, vicious.
It's like, fuck off, man, you sound like a fucking boomer.
That's a lady, too, I think, by the way.
It's like, only a lady would know.
I just think of victims of rape are just scorned women.
Oh, fuck.
They're just scorned women.
Is that the last comment?
Yeah, that was the last comment.
Okay, so since we said the R word so many times, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-4673.
Call that.
If you know any problems going on in your life, happening to someone else, call that thing.
Dude, we're doing great.
Come on baby, won't you pull up your pants?
Thot-blooded.
Alright, I'm going to hand it over to Tony for this next segment.
So, uh, there's going to be a sweet little NRA speech meeting, meet a little, get together with the NRAians, uh, and the Secret Service, Trump, Trump is doing a speech there, um, Trump and Pence are doing speeches at this thing, and the Secret Service said, no guns at the speech, please.
Please do not bring your guns to this.
Wow, it's so ironic.
So crazy.
God, we got him now, guys.
If I'm not bringing my gun, how can I protect the president?
From myself.
I just want to say that, uh, yeah, of course this is hypocritical.
Of course it doesn't fucking matter.
Like, you're not going to win an argument against a conservative about this shit.
So just keep that in mind.
It's fun to laugh at, but other than that, it's not like, uh, politically, you know, politically motivating.
So do they, do you take your gun to an NRA speech typically or what?
Any rally?
Yeah, you would.
Yeah, you would carry at whatever, but I don't... That's so weird.
Actually, I don't know if they would allow it.
Obama did a couple speeches a while ago in some open carry states where people brought their guns, their open carry guns, and they made a show of it while seeing him.
And he was like, that's their right, let them ride, take their service.
That's talked about here a few times because the most common take in this... This is from The Hill, by the way.
The most common take in the comment section was liberals just being like, gotcha now!
Yeah.
Oh, now who wants to save space?
Now who wants a gun-free zone?
So fucking embarrassing.
I bet now you think that gun-free zones work.
Dude, it shouldn't be embarrassing for you.
You're not a liberal, bro.
Yeah, none of us are liberals here.
No, it's embarrassing just like this whole show is embarrassing.
Cringy.
As like a human.
Yeah, you have cringe tears the whole time we record this show.
As an American.
No, I mean, it's the same thing.
It's like... Jokes, like... Oh, you're mad at Bill Cosby for raping.
Well, jokes on you.
Trump's a raper, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's so stupid.
Who wins?
Who wins here?
Just fucking lock them all up.
The fact that people put any effort in typing this makes them just as lame as... as Hoodat.
That's the username.
Yeah.
Hoodat...
Says, the way violent liberals have been off the rails lately, obviously this is a good idea.
This is kind of his whole take.
He's a character throughout this entire thing.
Um, and, and he kind of goes on some, some little rants.
This could be like a joke, you know, this, this line could be a joke.
So yeah, just, you know how the liberals have just been going crazy lately.
Yeah.
No.
I don't know where they're getting this stuff from and that's all throughout the entire section.
Literally the only thing a liberal, a person on the left has done in like recent memory is shooting softball player Steve Scalise.
Softball player slash house majority whip Steve Scalise.
Like that's that's the only left-wing Attack.
Terrorist attack, I can remember.
Oh, sure.
And that was, um, you know, that, that honestly, that was not talked enough about to be, if I think about it, that was not talked enough about, you know, they, they really should have, uh, they should have really made shirts about him.
And, uh, well, Oh, that's true.
It's too bad, really.
No, yeah, they had like a hearing about it.
They were like, oh, they accused anti-Trump sentiment for ginning up this, like, the person who shot Steve.
No, but, no, all these fucking, all these, like, school shooters, they're all little right-wing white boys.
Like, it's painfully obvious, but in the conservative mind, literally every single shooter has been a registered Democrat.
They've been a party operative.
They actually were one of the electoral voters for Hillary Clinton.
That's pretty crazy.
I didn't get where that was coming from, but Houdat illustrates to us, he tells us what's going on.
Vast majority of all gun crime are committed by liberals.
Heck, 6% of their groups commit almost half of all violent crime in the country.
It's very clear.
Liberals must not be allowed to have guns.
What?
I love this.
It's like you have to take a test now.
Now you have to earn the right to have a gun but it's only the liberals.
Yeah.
I keep my gun, but you have to earn your gun.
My favorite part is the 6% of one of their groups commit almost half of all violent crime in the country.
What could he possibly be talking about?
Yeah, what the f- I mean, what?
It's about black people.
Oh, fuck.
Are you serious?
I don't know what 6% is.
You see in the next comment, he's referring to FBI statistics.
FBI crime statistics, which is like the racist Bible, basically.
He's about to break it down for us.
He basically is talking about how people keep on trying to prove him wrong.
He says, you keep replying.
You know it's true.
FBI has main tables that will show you all of it.
The Nation Wants Better replies, Really?
Yet not a single one has a table referring to gun violence committed by political affiliation.
None.
Not a single one.
But you keep spouting crap.
So yeah, the FBI's tables don't say, Democrats commit this many crimes, Republicans do this many.
No, they say, free donuts.
On this table.
Oh, cop jokes?
Coffee.
On this table, yeah.
Cop jokes.
I like that.
Fuck cops.
Donuts.
Fuck the FBI.
They heard that, dude.
Cool.
Who does this?
Common sense.
Blacks.
Oh, there he is.
There's who dat.
I was getting that.
That's who dat is.
That's what happened.
Who dat says common sense.
Blacks, illegals, cartel type, gangs, etc, etc, etc.
You know, 1930s mobsters.
You know, Fat Tony in them.
Cartel types.
You know they're beloved by liberals.
I see him wearing Scarface shirts all the time.
Oh, fuck.
You know they're beloved by liberals.
That makes them liberals.
And since they commit the vast majority of all gun violence, based on FBI stats, well, even someone has a brain de- someone as brain dead as you can figure out what 1 plus 1 is.
Oh my god.
Wow.
Wow.
At least this person explained, like, how they got to liberals are killing people.
Yeah, what they should have just said was, no dude, it's cool, I'm just a racist.
I think it's blacks mostly.
Blacks and Mexican people are killing people.
Well, cartel types are typically black illegals.
Well, yeah, and Mexicans.
Um, MJ Horn says, again, there's no way for you to know how many criminals are liberal.
For one thing, Muslims are most definitely not liberal.
They are very conservative.
So this gets another weird like angle.
What about the Muslim crimes?
Yeah.
You forgot to talk about the Muslims!
I was just looking back up at Houdat's comment to see if he referenced Muslims, and he didn't.
It's not in there.
No.
And Houdat says, you know, because Muslims are conservative, you know, that's typically the... Well, no, there's a range, but fundamentalist Muslims, by definition, are conservative.
Exactly, yeah.
But like, I mean, the same way a fucking nut job Christian is a conservative fundamentalist, you know?
And we're still off.
Houdet says, not the radical ones, all liberal, all day.
You know, I heard that one of the people who was piloting the plane actually was screaming for redistribution of wealth.
Yeah, and the other pilot was a famous late night talk show host in Saudi Arabia.
And one of the guys in the Pentagon plane that crashed was actually wearing a bunch of Starbucks gear.
They were sponsored by Starbucks.
Yeah, it was like renewing their Netflix subscription as the plane went down.
It was actually a Prius that was shot at the Pentagon.
I mean, we know Muslims are child molesters and pedophiles, so that makes them honorary liberals.
Why not?
So he says, yeah, not the radical ones, all liberal all day.
And yeah, there is a way to know.
You clowns love and support them.
They're yours.
End of story.
Fuck, man.
It's as if he's saying, not my team, not my team, that's your team.
I don't remember any time that liberals have been all stoked on, you know, radical, you know, Muslim attacks.
No, liberals love the FBI now.
Liberals love the FBI, they love cops.
We live in a crazy world.
Their first comment, the way violent liberals have been off the rails lately, obviously a good idea.
So saying, you know, no guns at this Trump NRA speech.
I'm not sure how I feel in general about not being able to bring guns to a Trump speech.
I feel like maybe you need your gun there.
Maybe you want your gun there.
Be careful now with your words here, Alex.
I'm just talking about the Second Amendment, baby.
Speaking of rights!
But...
If, quote, violent liberals, if these crazy off-the-rails violent liberals are convincing HUDAT that maybe we do need a national background check law and maybe more strict regulations in general, then yeah, sure.
Yeah, let's run with that.
Those violent liberals, they need it.
They have it coming.
I love that all it takes is your hatred of liberals to totally Dissolve any sort of principle you had about the Second Amendment.
That's pretty sweet.
Like your hatred of liberals is greater than the one piece of your party's platform that has been, you know, consistent in the last 40 years.
You know, I might hate liberals more than I hate guns, too, actually.
Now that I'm thinking about it.
So what would be smart is if, you know, Hillary did a commercial where she's like, you see the problem with guns is, I can get one.
No, yeah, absolutely.
And then they'd be like, oh shit.
And she just throws that fucking, throws that sod off on her shoulder and just like, throws a bandana around her head.
I mean, it's the, it's the same thing with North Korea and South Korea.
Like, The war, I guess, is officially technically over.
They're just announcing the end of the war.
If there is some sort of reunification, if there is some genuine peace process, give Trump all the credit.
Fuck yeah.
I don't give a fuck.
Tell Trump, hey, it was a great thing you did.
Not bombing this country.
You're so fucking cool in Alpha, all you had to do was talk to these people.
And they made peace.
And it's amazing how strong and big and fucking you are.
I wonder if Pompeo did have anything to do with it though.
He was over there like three days before that shit came out.
I don't know, North Korea and South Korea have been talking for like two years now.
Right, I mean they did just go to the fucking Olympics together and shit.
It's pretty cool though.
It's awesome.
I'm just like, who cares who gets the credit?
Yeah, exactly.
Whatever it fucking takes.
We're in a demonstrably safer world if North Korea and South Korea are reunified.
Oh yeah.
So yeah, Hoot Hat is just basically part of this sweet contingent of people who just think that it's all the liberals fault and that the liberals are mostly militant muslims.
And we'll see that continue on with the next slide.
Yeah, liberals, snowflakes, people in pussy hats, they're actually the radical jihadists.
They're actually the ones we're so scared of.
They're funding them through the Clinton Foundation.
And this is where we meet my next favorite character, this gentleman by the name of Fred Call, whose avatar is the justified, the show justified, the character from it with the word justified in it.
So he's a certified badass.
Did they ever use an EJT track in Justified?
I hope not.
Nah.
Hell no.
They used My Love and it was really good.
Whenever he opens his gun closet, that song plays.
So, this person whose name is St.
Ronald Reagan, it's a joke name because they're obviously a flaming liberal.
Their avatar is like the porn version of Sarah Palin?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Is that Lisa?
Is that Lisa Anne?
I don't know who did it, but she's wearing glasses.
I think it might be Lisa Anne.
Pantsuit thing.
Headline.
Armed NRA members a security risk to Republican President Trump.
Get it?
Sick burn, right?
And then Fred Colby replies, You might want to go armed to California College Campus if you plan on saying anything that is not Sharia OK'd.
What?
Okay.
No one's asking for this opinion, but he's saying, listen, if you're going to say anything that's, uh, if you're going to speak your mind at a college campus, you might want to bring your gun there because they're going to go crazy there.
And by saying that, they're saying Sharia OK'd, which is a common theme that Fred Call uses.
Yeah, you can't say stuff, uh, well you can't, Everything you say has to pass through the Sharia law.
You have to make sure it's okay through Sharia law.
Because you know, college campuses, the bastion of Sharia law.
Yeah.
Especially in the West.
Isn't it funny how Sharia just means law?
Yeah.
Sharia law.
It's like an ATM machine.
Little redundant.
Yeah, but you might want to go armed to a California college campus if you plan to say anything that is not Sharia-okayed.
So you need your gun to, like, defend yourself against college students.
Yeah, I'm just gonna shoot a bunch of people.
Go to college and say how cool, like, pork is, and then kill a bunch of people.
Yeah, or like, you don't think Allah is the true one true God.
And also, where do I go to get my statement Sharia-okayed?
You go to Sharia's office, dude.
Oh.
Sharia, you know.
You know Sharia NHR?
Exactly.
Robert Speier says, when did Obama announce that he wanted a gun-free zone, which is kind of the whole liberal gotcha.
When did he announce that he wanted to do away with gun-free zones?
Sorry.
What?
And then Fred Call says, do you Sharia adherents have dynamite vest-free zones?
Got him.
Got him.
I'm lost.
Do you guys have dynamite vest free zones?
Because I mean like, you want the right to carry your dynamite vests.
No yeah, it's like liberals, we like suicide bombers, so we conveniently do not have dynamite free zones.
It's like a loophole that allows you to commit jihad.
I'm not going to tell people where they can and cannot have salvation.
It's based upon the general proximity of how far out a stick of dynamite blows up.
And if you enter that circle, the jihad just occurs on you, you know?
Well, no, it is religious freedom.
You have to allow Muslims to wear their dynamite vests wherever they go so they can practice their religion of blowing up white Christians.
But I do like my idea of, like, containing the blasts in little areas.
Let the jihads, you know, go in little designated jihad areas.
I'm sure most people would like to have designated areas for that, yeah?
You can volunteer to go there?
Yeah.
Not me, of course.
That'd be stupid.
Yeah.
It's like playing on the freeway.
So what you're talking about is you're talking about having like a courtesy room.
Yep.
For like... For jihadists.
For breastfeeding mothers and jihadists.
Well I'm not going to put them together.
Liberal jihadists.
It's like a, you know when you like, I don't know, a dodgeball circle on the fucking playground.
Oh yeah, if you walk by the dodgeball court you're asking if you get hit with a dodgeball.
Yeah, just imagine that just with like...
You know, bombs.
Suicide vest guy in the middle.
Well, I was thinking like, like when you're at church, like the suicide bomber has a place to go that they won't disturb the sermon.
Not like a crying room, but it's like a blow yourself up room.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, it's gonna hit, it can hit both of those or whatever.
Sure.
Yeah, dude.
Sorry Fred, I am not a Christian.
What?
Well if you would look at Robert's avatar you would know that he's in fact a Jedi because he has a lightsaber in there.
But yeah, I am not a Christian.
I was like, you know, also you thought there, Fred, but I'm actually not a Christian.
So in your face, but Fred said, I'm sure you're not a Christian.
Your Sharia shows everywhere.
Jesus Christ.
Did you go on these guys profiles at all or?
Yeah, that's where I got the sweet ass.
Okay.
So, Are they old guys?
There's no pictures of them.
These are their accounts that they made for, um, for The Hill.
I think they're old guys.
Because, like, they just seem like old people exchanging on social media.
I don't know.
Justified, like, if you had asked me, like, you know, ten years ago, who has a Justified profile pic, and I was like, oh, that guy's 50.
Yeah, 50.
But apparently it's, like, actually a really cool show.
Oh, really?
So, like, young people like it.
People love it.
Oh, like Sons of Anarchy, huh?
Kind of.
Yeah, kind of.
I think it's supposed to be better than Sons of Anarchy.
Oh, man.
I've heard exactly those words.
No, no, it's better than Sons of Anarchy.
I said no way!
I fucking hate Sons of Anarchy.
I said not possible, bro.
Yeah, right, you love it, dude.
Oh, I do love Sons of Anarchy.
Greatest show ever.
Yeah.
Your Sharia shows everywhere.
Yeah.
Technically, it's true because Sharia means your skin.
You have a case of shiriosis?
Skin law?
Oh, it's skin, skin.
Skin, skin.
Yeah.
Skin, skins, or... Just Rick.
Just Rick says, a high percentage of gun nuts here don't even own a gun.
Just a fantasy.
Which is totally true, there are a lot of people that are out there just talking about these, talking about how much they love guns.
They don't even own guns, because honestly, guns are expensive.
Yeah.
You know, a lot of people want to say they have, hypothetically, they've like fantasy built their guns, they've done this whole thing.
Yeah, I've almost bought a shotgun a few times, but I just, I usually go buy a fucking ounce of some Top Shelf or something.
Dude, just pull the trigger next time.
Yeah.
Wait, read this first comment first to send it out.
Should I do it?
High percentage of gun nuts here don't even own a gun.
Just a fantasy.
Fred Call says.
Should I do it?
Do it.
Okay.
Say hello to...
I can't even do it.
Yeah, you're gonna be like Eastern European.
I can do it.
I gotta do it.
Can you do it?
Can you do it again, Scarface?
Say hello to my little fantasy!
Yup, yup.
And then Rick has this continuous sick burn and says, perfect example, you don't even own a firearm.
And you know Rick is serious because he now is using the term firearm.
And for no reason, Fred Call responds, hmm, that's what Trayvon said.
Jesus.
Yeah, my fault.
I was- Fuck.
I was reading a little ahead and I saw say hello to my little fantasy and I was like oh that's funny that's like him doing doing a joke you know like do you feel lucky punk or do you feel fantastic um but then Fred call just dropped a fucking Trayvon Martin joke in here and my face just like fell I don't even get the Trayvon like what are you he's he's saying he killed Trayvon or he likes it no he's saying he did it yeah sure he's saying he killed Trayvon like as a joke
Oh, fuck.
Automatic blue star boy.
Holy shit.
Automatic blue star boy.
Gotta talk about that one.
We gotta have that debate.
Alright.
But that... I didn't even catch that.
This is a... Fred Kahl is just a... even worse than I thought.
Can you imagine, like, being so fucking pathetic that, uh, you want to be Zimmerman?
Ugh.
He probably... he does own a firearm now.
He bought... he bought Zimmerman's gun.
He bought the gun on eBay?
On eBay.
It was used... yeah.
and yeah that's that blows my mind oh man uh he just he just definitely like sits sits in his car out front of his house waiting for somebody to walk by Yeah.
Oh, God.
Fuck.
That's so fucked up.
So, so... Okay.
Just to get past this fucking... Fred Call, I hate you so much.
Yeah, this was supposed to be the palate cleanser, dude.
I'm really sad.
I didn't realize.
I thought he was just an idiot.
He just wanted to be racist.
Not like an idiot who was, like, really, really racist.
So, Fred Call... A lot of people were saying, what is he conservative scared of?
And Fred Call, throughout the whole thing, was saying, they're not scared of anything.
Like, the SS, they're dope.
They know what's up.
So Fred Call says, the Secret Service is well armed.
And somebody who is too much of a punk to give the actual name, just guess, says, so what are they afraid of?
Cat Hammer says, some leftist loons might sneak in.
We've seen their tendency towards violence.
This is obviously somebody from before.
Same point as before.
And just to continue the theme, Fred Call says, go ahead and make the Secret Service's day.
Of cheesy firearm movie references.
Is that the one that I just made?
Go ahead and make my day.
I said, do you feel lucky?
I think so, yeah.
Eastwood, huh?
Go ahead and make my day.
It's all Dirty Harry shit.
It's all Dirty Harry shit.
Old Dirty Harry.
Just go ahead and make their day.
They've just been waiting all day for someone to step out of line so they can take them out.
So, who's the blue star boy then?
I don't know.
I threw an idea out there earlier.
Oh, the last person on the last slide, huh?
Not quite.
I think there's a lot of people who are worthy of being Blue Star Boys today, but I think that we should let the streak continue and I think it should still be Kanye West.
Alright.
Yeah, these guys, yeah, okay.
I just love, like, how deluded the right-wing, how, like, they've built their own world in general.
You know, we talk about, like, right-wing canon.
Like, all these things that are canon, like Hillary Clinton raped a 12-year-old girl and blamed it on that innocent child molester she represented in court.
You know, like, or any of these things.
And yeah, leftist loons might sneak in.
We've seen their tendency towards violence.
Like, you could point at Dylan Roof.
You could point at the Isla Vista shooter.
You could point at the most recent Incel shooter that we just talked about.
And leftists!
You could point at the Parkland shooter, who, like, carved swastikas and shit.
All leftists.
Well, that's... Okay, I take that back.
Yeah, the Nazis were leftists.
You're right, Matt.
Were they?
No, fuck no!
Ask Kanye about it.
That's gonna be Kanye's next thing, right?
They were actually liberal.
He's already done like Abraham Lincoln was a Republican.
So now he's gotta go to, no, the Nazis were actually left-wing.
That's his next stop.
I've said a lot on this show that I don't like liberals, but I just think that they're not cool enough to go all the way left, and they should try to go all the way left.
That's the only reason why I talk shit on them.
But, you know we're talking about canon?
About right-wing canon?
Dude, what if we got to a hundred bucks in the Patreon and we made a fucking- Canon, an actual canon!
No, a Wikipedia for, like, right-wing canon, dude.
Oh, you mean like what Candace Owens was trying to do?
Like, dox all these internet bullies?
Yeah.
No, like, it'd be funny, like, Wikipedia, but for right-wing people.
You know what I'm talking about?
Like, you know, Star Wars has Wookieepedia.
Oh, but for the only people that we've covered on this show?
Yes!
That type of shit, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
No.
I don't want to do that.
I'll do it then.
Fred Call gets his own page.
I'll do it.
I'm gonna do it.
Alright.
You hear that, folks?
You guys, uh... I pee so bad.
Get it up there and Matt will build a whole website for you.
Yeah, I'll build a site.
Full of right-wing canon.
It's gonna be sick.
Check out these sites.
Yeah, all right.
That's the episode.
Hey, if you like the show, please rate and review us on iTunes.
I want to throw a quick shout out to the few folks who did rate and review us recently.
I don't have their names right in front of me.
Why don't you pull up the iTunes and see the new guy that just reviewed us?
All right, cool.
All right, yeah.
Big thanks to Toadcaster, Bearhoven, All hail Queen Yonce and Jamie Gonzo.
Thank you guys so much for reviewing the show, writing some nice stuff about us.
We really appreciate it.
If you would do the same for us, we would also appreciate it.
We'd keep on appreciating it.
Hey, we appreciated it when they did it, we'd appreciate it when you did it.
True.
We're back up to five stars after that little hiccup we had, and thanks to a sponsored post.
But yeah, rate and review on iTunes.
It helps us a lot.
And tell your friends about the show.
We'd really appreciate it.
MinionDeathCult at gmail.com, MinionDeathCult on iTunes, Twitter, and Facebook.
Do we have anything else?
No, I do appreciate the folks on Twitter who have been participating, having fun with us.
It's a good time over there on Twitterville, so come on down.
Also, we had a really fun Patreon episode on Sunday all about the conservative tears over Sarah Huckabee Sanders getting roasted at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, including a...
One of the best troll Facebook pages or like parody slash troll Facebook pages I've ever seen there is there's a fake Sarah Huckabee Sanders page on Facebook that has 51,000 unironic likes.
Yeah.
It's fucking amazing and she posted something After the White House Correspondent's dinner joke about her being auntie, what's her name?
Aunt Lydia.
About being Aunt Lydia and trying to self-righteously reclaim Aunt Lydia as a compliment.
And it probably has, what, 50,000 likes?
Just that one post at this point?
That was a very fun episode.
Yeah, it was a good time.
Patreon.com slash minion death cult three bucks a month gets you that gets you four episodes an episode every week on top of this regular episode So consider supporting the show that way and get an extra episode every week For it, and that's it.
