All Episodes
Next
Nov. 17, 2017 - Minion Death Cult
39:42
1 - No Rules / Just Right (Intro & "Salute The Brave")

Minion Death Cult. BORN TO DIE / WORLD WIDE WEB IS A FRICK / Kill Em All 2017 / I am troops man / 410757864530 DEAD BOOMERS Hosier & Adam Calhoun - Salute The Brave

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Welcome to Minion Death Cult.
Politics processed through a deranged internet.
The world is ending.
Your uncle is responsible.
We're documenting it.
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
But stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looked like when the global stormed deserts fall there in Martin Luther King.
This is a political and media analysis podcast, but we are not covering the New York Times.
We are not covering Fox News.
We are not covering Huffington Post.
We're covering politics once real America has gotten its hands on them.
And I dislike very much most liberal I feel like we should put you all on an island and bomb the shit out of you.
Media Matters covers Fox News.
Knowledge Fight covers Alex Jones.
We cover your aunt and uncle.
We cover the cousin you blocked because he called you and your infant son retarded.
Once, we were concerned with the rapid spread of misinformation online, the way internet political discourse is literally threatening to annihilate civilization.
But now, we have accepted it, and choose to spread the word of the Minion far and wide, in an effort to hasten our demise.
We are documenting the end of the world, via bad memes.
We are Minion Death Cult.
I like that.
My name is Alexander Edward.
You may know me from the other podcast I do, That Awful Sound, about bad music.
This is a bad meme podcast.
I have a sickness in my brain that's been threatening to spill over for the two and a half years I've been doing That Awful Sound.
And last week, This week it ended up overflowing.
Absolutely.
It spewed.
It spewed into an entirely new podcast.
And we ended up doing a, what do you call it, a backdoor pilot for a new podcast.
Yeah.
This one.
So yeah, I just, I used to be at my wit's end trying to figure out how to combat this fake news I see in my news feed every day.
Outrageously incorrect memes being shared tens of thousands of times.
And, uh, what do we do about it?
How do we get through to these people?
You know, uh, Wikileaks is fake or, uh, Wikipedia is fake news.
Snopes is fake news.
Your history textbook is fake news.
It's all fake news.
And I've decided that Rather than trying to fight it.
Rather than trying to hold back the obvious tide that's coming.
The obvious tide that is threatening and most likely will destroy civilization as we know it.
I think my efforts and our efforts perhaps would just be better spent documenting it.
Yeah.
In case anything is left over once we're done.
There will be a record of this sickness.
Okay, so we're gonna be dissecting... We're gonna be basically trying to cover a couple topics every week pertaining to whatever terrible meme format has gone viral in the last week or two weeks.
We're not actually reporting on the news.
We are reporting on...
Real Americans, we're reporting on Joe and Jane Six Pack.
Basically I'm going to tell you what my dad said every week about the stories, you know, what he calls me and tells me about.
Yeah.
So we got Facebook, we got Twitter, we got Reddit, we have all these just glorious sources.
And my dad.
And your dad, who physically comes and tells you memes.
He rips my ear apart, yeah.
It's horrible.
I'm gonna bitch a lot about him on here, I'm sorry guys.
But, I'm telling ya, it's gonna be really good.
It's a good way to feng shui my energy this way.
So you have to introduce yourself.
Oh yeah, so hey, I'm Matt.
Mountain Matt?
Mountain Matt is good.
I like Mountain Matt.
I'm not going to go much further than that, you know, because I don't want you to know who my dad is either.
Oh, that's true.
I just like Mountain Matt.
It's not even for like a privacy thing in my opinion.
I just like Mountain Matt.
Yeah, I like, yeah.
Alright.
And it's like, I mean, you don't have to do it.
I'm okay.
Yeah, I just think it's a good person out, like it's part of your personality.
Like you're- Yes.
You literally are Mountain Matt.
You were- You've been Mountain Matt.
Yeah, I met you as Mountain Matt.
Sure did.
I met you as Mountain Matt when I came to the mountains to visit you.
I've rolled down the side of the mountain.
On my side.
Are you going to use your last name on this podcast?
Do you want a nickname?
I don't have a nickname.
My full name is kind of my nickname.
So yeah, Tony Boswell.
Uh, really excited to do this.
Because, uh, I like, you know, a little political tea from time to time.
Yeah, from time to time.
Every Wednesday now.
Every Wednesday.
For the rest of your life.
Yeah, now I have like a standing appointment to gab.
And I'm really happy about it.
Bet your girl's happy about it too, right?
Oh, yeah.
You gab enough about hating on all the stuff we get annoyed about every day.
It's good to have another outlet.
Okay, so basically what you're hearing, what you're going to be hearing this episode is that backdoor pilot.
It's the accidental pilot, uh, for... Minion Death Cult.
Yeah.
We were going to call it, uh... Meme Death of the Universe.
Meme Death of the Universe, but then we all kind of decided we didn't want a podcast with meme in the title of it.
Yeah.
So we opted for something much less cringey like Minion.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, way more palatable.
Way less, you know, it'll definitely stand the test of time a lot more than a meme will.
Or the concept of memes.
I'm pretty sure minions will outlive the meme itself.
It's crazy they respawn from a despicable me.
I mean, I think people forget.
Right.
And now minions have basically turned into... Fuck.
Just a meme!
Well, no, it fits because, uh, they're from Despicable Me, and on this show we are talking about despicable memes.
Oh.
It's perfect.
It's perfect.
Now, now... This is actually what they had in mind.
Despicable Me invented the meme.
Sure, but like, is it like a deplorable thing, or what is it?
Like, is that why the, you know, the right side of things uses a minion as a meme?
Yeah, no, well, minions are like the boomer's meme.
Okay.
It's the meme of the boomer.
It's where everything finally clicked for them.
And just, you know, the minion can be all things, but it's usually something vile and disgusting.
Just to kind of clarify, these aren't going to be like fun, cool memes that you're going to use with your friends.
No.
It is the ones that your aunts and uncles are sending around.
Yeah.
Your one cousin who like, I don't know, the cousin that called your kid a retard.
Which is kind of based on a true story.
Oh, is it really?
Yeah, we had a cousin we had to block as a military veteran.
We had to block.
It's crazy that that word is still just like flying around.
But these are the people using that word.
Yeah, he was like, you need to get out of your safe space and go see the world.
And I was like, I don't know, dude, it seems, seems to have fried your brain.
I'll probably stay inside for the rest of my life.
Hard pass.
And like I had to, I, he was talking about how Democrats are the real racists because Democrats were the KKK.
And then I had to explain to him the Southern strategy.
This is my black cousin.
And I explained to him the Southern strategy and I showed him the Wikipedia article.
And he was like, Oh, LOL, gotta cite Wikipedia, huh?
And it's like, you're Literally citing memes you saw, dude.
I don't know, like, there's no way to talk to you, you know.
So the strategy you're talking about, just real quick, is, like, literally the Democrats switching to Republican, right?
The Southern strategy, when the Democrats adopted the civil rights platform, every single racist Democrat left.
Well, not every, all of them, but the more open majority.
The GOP.
Yeah, well, they went and joined the GOP.
Well, and then made it into the big brand that it's been since then.
And then the GOP decided to directly target that racism with like Nixon and shit.
It's called the Southern Strategy.
Yeah, it's wild.
Wild stuff.
Yeah.
Inspiring.
But anyway, it's like, it's like school, it's like school book shit.
It's, you know, grade school shit, but it doesn't matter.
Like it's, it's never going to, it's never going to win you an argument on Facebook.
When you've made the decision to live that way and think that way, like your cousin has, you're hard-pressed.
You're hard-pressed not, you know?
Well, we live in an era of post-truth, you know?
No truth.
Right.
Yeah.
No truth, just fun.
Well, I mean, the rule's just right.
Alright, so like I said, you're hearing this accidental pilot from a That Awful Sound episode.
This episode was on Adam Calhoun and Hozier's Stand for the Anthem anthem, Salute the Brave.
It is a Hiccup song featuring right-wing Facebook provocateur noted Beardman Adam Calhoun and This dude's views are so reprehensible that that
Episode of That Awful Sound, which is mostly supposed to be about music and lyrics and cringeworthy music videos, treaded off into angry rant territory about just how reprehensible this person is.
And so you're hearing the most political stuff that I cut out of that episode.
But also go listen to that episode.
It is the newest episode of That Awful Sound.
Like I said, Adam Calhoun and Hozier salute the brave.
We dive deep on that song.
It's fucking bad.
So right now you're just hearing basically the political analysis from that episode.
Enjoy.
Why did I buy such crunchy?
I should have bought- It's very crunchy food.
I won't do it while recording.
Okay, yeah.
But I should have brought pudding and yogurt and applesauce.
Moisten the palate, yeah.
I could gargle some yogurt.
Would help with my voice for the podcast.
And that would also help inform our leftist, PC liberal stance on this material.
And we eat soft foods.
Yeah, and we could drink some kombucha.
I'm all- I actually don't fuck with pudding or yogurt, so... Y'all are gross.
Well, you can't be a liberal then, dude, because... You don't eat chia pudding, you liberal?
You haven't liberal-ed today.
Oh, no, I'm just- I'm just that much more liberal.
I'm a, you know, what they call like a, you know, that one of those punk-ass vegans.
Like, I love the idea that this is a hiccup song that's in direct reaction to a Black Lives Matter protest.
The irony is, like, it's unfathomable.
Like, if I tried to comp... You know, if I... I would have an aneurysm if I tried to fully comprehend this.
Hey, this guy knows hip-hop.
Especially considering the color of this guy's skin.
Hey, he likes Eminem.
Yeah.
He knows hip-hop.
- Huh.
- Yeah.
- So when he raised-- - What was that? - B.E.T. Music Awards.
B.E.T. That's Black Entertainment Television.
- Oh yeah. - God forbid there was a wet-- - Better believe he's got an opinion about B.E.T.
It's pretty funny how he's bitching about a white guy who appeared on BET to great fanfare.
Yep.
And keep that shit bald, like Donald the bitch!
Yeah!
Now he is the savior of the far left and all the liberals.
Absolutely not.
Same thing.
Lynching a black person is literally the same thing as taking a knee.
Yeah, absolutely.
Same thing as this, white power.
Same thing.
Same thing.
The Black Power Fist and the Sikai are the same thing.
Lynching a black person is literally the same thing as taking a knee.
Yeah, absolutely.
Same thing.
Throwing a fiery cross on a black family's lawn is literally the same thing as doing a freestyle anti-Trump rant.
Absolutely.
Who's he hiding from?
Who's he hiding from?
Why is he wearing those baggy clothes?
He's hiding from fucking Adam Calhoun.
You know who also had baggy clothes?
The KKK.
Those fuckers.
Even, even baggier.
God dammit.
There's no difference between the KKK and Black Power.
No, no, completely the same thing.
It's insane.
I don't see color, I see character.
Right here.
I don't care if you don't like Trump.
But if you don't like our country, you disrespect our flag, and spit in the people's faces that defend your rights-- When did he explain that happening in the freestyle?
Yeah.
Where did Eminem say anything about the flag?
Yeah, or spitting in his face.
Yeah, but that didn't happen?
Nope.
You guys don't remember the verse where he was like, yo, Donald Trump's a straight up hag, and I just want to say, yo, fuck the flag.
Remember that?
Remember that?
Beast of a line.
Farce.
I love the idea of somebody like, Straight up just say, you know what?
Yo, I hate the flag.
I hate the American flag.
I hate it, I love it.
It sucks!
I fucking hate it.
I wish it was cooler with like green.
I saw a meme that was like, share if you think it's wrong to stomp on the flag.
I mean, I think it might be a waste of time.
I think it would be, like, funny.
Yeah, like, yo, why are you doing that, dude?
Are we, like, dancing on it?
Why are you jumping up and down like a Mario character on the flag?
Dude.
Wait, hold on.
Listen to this.
For those of you who don't know, my name is Adam Calhoun, and I am not a military veteran.
No, you're not, you fucking piece of shit.
I support all of our military men and women who serve this great country.
Fuck you, dude.
Well this tough guy was diagnosed with mitral valve prolapse when I was a teenager.
This tough guy was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
If you have mesothelioma.
And yes, I went to jail for that.
I didn't know that.
Oh maybe I fucked up.
He impersonated a police officer?
No, he assaulted a police officer.
And yes, I was arrested for fighting a police officer.
And yes, I went to jail for that.
See, the problem with these rappers is they're thugs.
Let's take a quick look at this right now.
Here you go.
It was in jail that I realized that I shouldn't be ashamed of my roots.
Yeah.
Well, I did fight a cop.
See, I don't have white privilege.
I went to jail for fighting the cop.
Yeah, I went to jail for like eight months.
There was a point in my life where I felt confident enough to fight the fucking cop.
Yeah, seriously, the fact that you're around to make god-awful Facebook videos just proves your privilege.
Listen, if they don't want to get shot, they should listen and fight the cop.
If you run, you're gonna get shot.
You have to fight the cop.
You have to prove that you got a pair of nuts to the cop.
This guy's the worst.
He's so many people.
Who, him?
Yeah.
Dude, I'm not racist.
I'm not racist.
I don't see color at all.
It just happens to be all the black people in me.
I also hate their character.
I just happen to hate black culture except when I do it for my own purposes.
Yeah.
I just think when you rap you need to pull your pants up.
I think that's the bottom line.
Maybe if you get some clothes that fit, you can rap.
There should be some sort of legal statute or some sort of unwritten rule in the entertainment industry where to rap, you have to wear work boots.
Yeah, blue collar.
You have to wear Cartwright gear to rap.
Carhartt.
Listen, I understand.
I wore my Carhartt hat today.
I understand the struggle.
I get it, you know, but instead of slinging crack dope.
Oh, crack dope.
I go hang drywall.
And it's the same hustle.
I have the same problems.
But it's also bad when brown people hang drywall because that means that a white person couldn't hang that drywall.
Well, I just need to be able to talk to who I'm working with.
I just need to communicate.
Yo, how are those women going to understand that they're being harassed if you're not doing it in English?
Jesus.
We see these people all day long.
Especially in this little conservative town.
You want to get in on this political meme podcast, Tony?
You're pretty good at it.
little bit it's the land of the free and i salute all the brave Facts.
For the red, white, and blue, America to my grave.
So, okay, so you're gonna die in America right on.
Good for you.
That's pretty likely.
Yeah.
What a statement to make, like, America till my grave, like.
You wouldn't die overseas, you motherfucker?
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm staying at home because I am totally afraid of the outside world and the way it's changing.
There's probably a good chance of me dying here of either heart disease or poverty or a mass shooting.
Or Legionnaire's disease.
I would go to the city, but I don't want to come back wearing makeup.
Right.
I don't want to come back with yoga pants on, with my butt cheeks hanging out the bottom.
It's such a good look.
It's amazing how the city is just this, like, quantum, like, in the mind of the stereotypical right-wing YouTuber, like Tomi Lahren, or this bearded Tomi Lahren, Adam Calhoun.
Ooh, absolutely.
Man, they should fuck and make a porno.
They'd have to get married first, so no.
Like a branded content porno?
Yeah!
Put that shit on Pornhub, that would do great.
Like they're both wearing those Grunt style branded t-shirts, which is the name of Adam Calhoun's company, even though he is not in the military.
No, he's not.
This is a song about the troops.
Salute the brave.
It's four troops by us, is what this song is.
Woo!
Listen, I make the money for the shirts so that I could make the shirts to keep my people know people know I'm where I'm from.
I stand for what I believe in.
That I'm not no goddamn liberal.
Right.
No, I make I he makes these shirts and markets them to service members and may and take gladly takes their money because that's what they fought for.
They fought for capitalism.
They fought for the free market and if he can't like Grift veterans of foreign wars into giving him money for their identity through him.
You know, what are they fighting for?
This is where you can get the shirts that say America.
Yeah, it said, have you America'd today?
Or blue collar hero was another one.
Yeah, it's just very, for these people screaming about identity politics.
Can I read that?
That's all, that's all this is.
The tagline for the website?
Oh yeah, please do.
This is gruntstyle.org?
Dot com.
No, definitely not org.
Oh, it's not a non-profit?
They do nothing but let people know what they stand for.
How'd you guys plug his website?
Dot net.
Oh, because...
We're forcing hipsters into their safe space, one shirt at a time, free shipping over $60.
Yeah, I can't believe, like, don't you have safe browsing on that phone?
How did it allow you to go to such a triggering website?
Triggered.
Oh my god.
It's supposed to keep you safe!
Yeah, that's a new thing.
And away from strange ideas like the fact that this guy hates liberals.
Look, it's good though, because if you have the shirt on, you can't act like a sissy in public.
I agree with that.
you know, you're never going to make soft moves.
Right.
Yeah, you got to walk around with a boner flipped up into your belt.
If you don't get the shirt, he's going to lose in 2020.
We're going to lose our leader in 2020 if we don't buy these shirts.
Our fearless leader.
You know what's crazy?
Did you guys ever read that thing I posted on Instagram about why Colin Kaepernick started kneeling?
Right, no I know this story but go ahead and tell the listener.
I mean basically it's you know to boil it down it's there's another NFL player and his name escapes me right now but he's in there he's a vet and he gave the idea to Colin Because Colin was sitting on the bench.
Just sitting down.
During the anthem, he was protesting by just not standing, just by sitting on the bench.
Just like me and all my fellow punks did back in fucking high school, sitting down for the pledge, you know.
I seriously thought that this argument was already done.
Like, when I was a kid, that you didn't have to salute the flag if you don't want to.
And I didn't when I was a kid.
I thought it was a totally non-controversial idea.
I don't, like, my kid doesn't.
Like, I just don't.
What's crazy is like, sorry to derail what you were saying Matt, but what's crazy is that like, so the NFL is these people's employer, right?
Right.
Forcing them to stand and put their hand over their heart for the anthem is literally like forced political speech.
And you can't do that.
That's a crime.
People act like by taking a knee, these people are making a political statement that they're not allowed to make because they're at work.
But it's no, they're defying the forced nationalism.
You know, and you can agree with, you know, whether or not you personally should kneel or stand or whatever.
But that is a political act.
Standing or kneeling, either one is a political act.
First of all, the National Anthem is a fucking nonsense, bullshit fucking idol to sit there and obsess over because, first of all, this is, I said first of all twice.
There can be two firsts.
Yeah, man.
Let's start twice.
I think it was 2008 when the military started paying the NFL paychecks to have these players come out.
Insert military imagery and all that stuff.
We're worshipping false idols here, people.
Anyway, let's get back to basketball.
The NFL is totally charged with, you know, military propaganda.
But it's changing now.
Even if you like the military, it's still propaganda for the military.
Right.
It's changing now, and I mean, I honestly, the Raiders gear, the Veterans Day Raiders gear that came out was so fucking sick.
It was like all off green, right?
Oh my god, this shit is so sick.
I saw a windbreaker that was so fire.
Anyway.
I'd say it's changing now for sure because like with I mean look at you have guys like Jerry Jones kneeling with his cowboys Oh, that's that's yeah, but then he turned around and he turned around and changed his mind Because he's like a huge Trump supporter right like Trump told him yeah the next week He was like I'm gonna force him all to do it.
Yeah Which should literally be illegal.
It should be illegal for you to force your, quote, your players, you know what I mean?
Your players, it should be illegal to force them.
But then we have other coaches who made the comment, like, he made the comment, you can't have the inmates running the prison.
Yep.
That's fucking crazy.
I mean it's it's so it's so obvious it's like not even veiled in anything anymore.
Listen, we need less terrorists like Colin Kaepernick and more patriots like Tom Brady.
And what happened to that Teebo kid?
Isn't he playing baseball now or something?
Where's Teebo at?
Is Teebo playing softball?
He's playing Teebo now.
You know he can, I'll tell you this much, he can He's gonna go to heaven.
He can kneel as long as it's for God.
It's for Jesus.
That's why Ray Lewis did it.
And not for the devil.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
Can we get a real quick poll?
You guys don't stand, right?
Fuck no.
Yeah, right?
And this is my deal.
What are you talking about?
Standing for the pledge or the anthem.
I literally, I stand, I do, I do stand for it.
I don't go to any functions where I'm having to do that.
That's a good point.
Hypothetically though, like you go to the bowl, you know, because Redlands Bowl does it.
I sit and my deal with them is because I think politics is a little bit about compromise, right?
So my agreement is that, with myself, is that if we can go one week without a civilian being murdered by a police officer, Or we can maybe go a couple weeks without some cop getting away with murdering a person.
We're not even going to bring the fact that they're basically all black into that.
We're not even going to bring that part into it.
That's my agreement.
If you can just not kill someone for like a week, then I'll stand if I'm at that event.
Not worth it.
It's not worth it.
I'm never going to stand against it.
I don't have to worry about it.
We're good on the numbers, we're good.
People get murdered every day.
It's not worth it because the...
Political theater or this scapegoatism of having black men who do not stand for the national anthem is more valuable to the political right as a scapegoat and as an adversary than the life of a black person.
Yeah, totally.
They would never make that compromise even if they listened to you talk.
So what I was saying was basically this vet told Colin Kaepernick that he should kneel because that's what- It's more respectful.
Well no, it's what people do to honor fallen soldiers.
It's more respectful imagery in any context.
Kneeling is literally a subservient gesture.
It's literally a prostration.
You do it when you meet the king.
You do it when you're proposing.
You do it when you're begging for your life.
These are all very benign, very respectful gestures and it's still not good.
But I wouldn't even take it that far Because it's literally just, it is a military gesture, is what he's using when he's kneeling.
Yeah, that's fine.
I'm just talking about the overall psychology of what he's doing is the epitome of what black men have been told to do, which is protest peacefully and respectfully and silently.
It's cool.
It's awesome.
No, I mean, yeah, it's fine, but he's literally checking all those boxes, and he's still a fucking terrorist, traitor, you know.
It's insane.
He's making it very clear that it's not about the military.
He made it very clear about that.
We're getting off on a pretty bad tangent right now, guys.
We should probably get back in there.
I mean, that's exactly what the whole song's about though.
He's pretty clear that he's not against the military.
He's against police violence.
Yeah, and that's definitely it.
For sure.
Also, me saying that I put my hand over my heart during the Pledge of Allegiance is not the same thing as the National Anthem.
You know what I mean?
The National Anthem's a bullshit product.
Yeah, it's different.
They're different.
But when you're in college and, you know, before every class you stand for the Pledge of Allegiance, that's when you put your hand over your heart.
But at the end of every class when the anthem plays, you don't do that.
Yeah.
If you hear anything in the background, it's just white noise that we keep to keep us calm and focused.
Yeah, really relaxed.
So they probably don't only stand for the anthem, they salute for the anthem.
Which is a whole other level.
When you see someone at a game and they're standing and saluting, that's a whole different level.
You know they respect the flag.
Who salutes during the fucking anthem?
Troops.
Troops!
But, like, they're lucky enough to, right?
Like, that's something they get to do?
Like, we don't get to do that because we're not wearing uniforms, maybe?
Yeah, I think it's actually frowned upon to, like, salute a service member if you're not actually in the military.
Salute, like, your Kansas City Chiefs hat?
I was looking up whether or not it was, like, against the military code or against, like, code of conduct to salute a service member if you're not actually serving or whatever.
I was trying to figure that out.
Is it?
It's frowned upon.
Yeah, it is, huh?
It's like, you know, like a service member's gonna fucking laugh at you if you salute them literally, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
But... So I thought that was it.
But I was looking up all the rules you're supposed to do, and like, if you're wearing a hat, you obviously have to remove the hat, which we all know, but when you put your hand over your heart, it still has to be your hand over your heart.
Like, you can't put the hat part over your heart.
You can't?
I did that.
It still has to be the hand part, so your hat has to, like, stick outside of your body's outline, because your hand is on your heart.
It's very specific and interesting.
Dude, I do it with my heart on my hat.
Do it with my dick in my hand.
Yeah.
But I don't put the dick at the heart.
The dick extends past the shoulder because my hand has to go on the heart.
We all see America.
That's from Team America.
It is, man.
You see memes of the main character like, have you America'd today yet?
Or I have a patriot boner.
This is their identity now.
They have embraced the dumbed down, warmongering world police.
Parody of America.
They have embraced it whole cloth.
It worked on them.
They absorbed it subconsciously.
I think it did the opposite.
What are their fucking names?
Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone are considered these parody geniuses, but every single thing they do backfires on them.
It just creates a new generation of terrible people.
People take it literally.
People who heard Cartman say the word Jew ten times every episode and are now like internet conspiracy theorists, white supremacist keklords.
Yeah, I went to school with kids like that when we were in elementary.
They had a whole season about the PC police, PC principal, and then Trump got elected and it's like, oh yeah, maybe that was the real threat the whole time.
Maybe it wasn't people identifying as women.
Maybe that wasn't the main problem with America.
Fuck.
Basically, my rule of thumb is I don't fight dudes with hand tattoos and neck tattoos because they're tough people.
They can take it.
Absolutely.
I don't fight them.
I don't fuck with them.
Yeah, I don't fight those people because they're obviously so insecure that they would overreact and pull a gun on me for any affront at all.
That's why I don't fuck with them.
Clocking in every day just to make a decent wage, but as long as that wage isn't a living wage, then I got a problem with it.
Hard work will get you- like, the audacity for this person to use the phrase, decent wage.
No fucking shit, man.
The audacity.
He also talked about how he was a union guy.
How he, like, worked at a union.
Fuck him, dude.
Fuck him.
I don't know.
Yeah, I mean, like, there are plenty of union Trump voters.
I don't know how that happens.
I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you.
That's real?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, but he's not part of a union either, right?
According to his biography, like, he was at one point.
Let me also just take this opportunity to say that, like, as young people, I'm sure we all have to work an exorbitant amount of hours to make pay and, like, pay rent and all kinds of fucking shit that is insane.
Absolutely crazy, the amount of work we have to fucking do.
Well, I happen to have a good job because I'm part of a union, but I still work 50 hours a week.
Exactly!
That's my normal work week.
And not only that, but you are part of a union, so it's not a weird play thing anymore.
The union's good, and if you have the opportunity to join one, that's really cool.
That's a really cool opportunity.
But don't pretend like you are in one if you're not in one.
That's a weird thing to do.
Well, and it's, yeah, I don't know if that's what he's doing here.
But he does, though.
He appeals to that, like, if he mentions it in his bio.
Right, right.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's a weird, like, cognitive dissonance to where people from unions will It's because of identity.
It's really because of identity.
It's because Hillary was a woman.
It's because Hillary was this political elite who doesn't, quote, care about the working person.
But the idea, to me, the idea that Somebody who's not beholden to the system, like Donald Trump, supposedly, would have more vested interest in helping people is absurd because the career politician, regardless of how corrupt they are, and don't get me wrong, Hillary is corrupt as fuck, all political establishment figures are generally corrupt as fuck, but the idea that if you are part of a political establishment, you have to get re-elected.
You have to at least pretend, or at least have something to show for what you did.
If you're outside of the political system, you're only beholden to yourself, and the idea that somebody who has no baggage like that would just automatically look after the working person is hilarious to me.
Makes no sense, yeah.
If you have any rational mind at all, and know his history at all, you would understand that he doesn't give a fuck.
Expecting him to do that is like expecting Adam Calhoun to... Donate part of his t-shirt sales to the military.
Yeah, or no, no, no, to like the ACLU.
Because he would never do that.
Just like Trump will never give a shit about people, you know, average people.
No.
Like you're championing someone who doesn't give a shit about you.
It's crazy.
Right, it's this whole thing that's like going from that back to this video, which it's like...
He literally says in his videos, I don't care if you don't like Trump, but don't disrespect the fucking flag.
Well, literally anything you can do is, in his mind, disrespectful to the flag.
He is a living embodiment of the American flag, and if you do anything that he finds disrespectful, you are then literally disrespecting the flag.
Talk about trigger warnings.
And then you're not allowed to express that sentiment anymore because it's not about, it doesn't, it's not about free speech.
You become like a treasonous person.
And that's the irony of like them calling us, us, uh, left people snowflakes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's very ironic.
Because they fucking cry and cry and cry.
Do you guys, uh, do you guys watch, I mean, I hate to be a little corny, but you guys watch Stranger Things?
Yeah, so the American flag is like that being and all conservatives are like that kid when you disrespect The flag they feel it like literally and it's torturous and they just can't take it and that's why you stand the fuck up That's that's why they're so you wouldn't have welfare if it wasn't for that flag
Right, and see that's why they're so against welfare because, as we all know, people on welfare are themselves parasitic organisms, and so they view welfare as like a threat to their own sense of parasitic control through the flag.
It's a direct competition.
Takes one to know one, man.
Ahmad Shridi says, this is the funniest shit I've ever seen.
LMAO.
Love you guys.
Keep it up.
Love comedy.
Yeah.
Which I agree, this was like a really funny video.
Very good attempt at comedy.
It's funny.
Yeah.
It's very funny.
If this was a Dave Chappelle skit, we would think it's like really... If it was Dave Chappelle done up on whiteface.
We'd think it's really funny.
No, this is where we're at, like parody and satire are dead because it just exists in the world.
Yeah, because yeah, the world is funny now.
These guys get to thrive now.
So, Mike Howell said, People keep wanting to question Adam's military background.
Since when did you have to military to love the USA?
I mean, he's not wrong.
Since when did you have to military to love the USA?
Keep the pride going, guys.
There are a lot more of us than them.
I mean, I think it was, it's a specifically, like, a right-wing tenet to say that if you don't serve in the military you don't get to have an opinion about foreign wars.
I'm just joking about this dude's punctuation.
Okay.
Since when the hell do you have to military to be the USA?
No, every, yeah, that's a verb.
Like, to military, to America.
Like, these are all... Right it is, isn't it?
Yep, these are all verbs.
To troop.
Yeah, and that's why trying to turn their own statements against them doesn't work.
It doesn't work on these people.
You can't say, oh, for eight years during the Bush regime you were called unpatriotic and you were told to join the military if you wanted to have an opinion about foreign wars.
But now the second a fucking vlogger Makes a video supporting the troops and telling everybody else to get the fuck out.
Once it's brought to the attention of the listener that this guy actually didn't serve, it doesn't matter.
It does not matter.
He gets to say to drop bombs on people and ask questions later.
Alright, that's the first episode.
Please, please, please subscribe if you get the podcast.
In iTunes, or as they want us to call it now, Apple Podcasts, click that subscribe button.
That's gonna make a big difference in terms of our rankings within the store.
We want to take down some of these other political podcasts, so if you hit that subscribe button, we'd really appreciate it.
Hit those five stars in your podcast app after you subscribe.
Would really appreciate it.
Leave a written review if you're feeling just extra generous.
We'd love you for it.
It's at MinionDeathCult on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.
Follow those accounts.
Uh, I think I'm gonna do a thing where when I release the episode, I'm gonna post all the shit we're talking about in that post, so you guys can follow along at home.
And, uh, every Wednesday, we're gonna try to do this thing every Wednesday.
So, uh, keep your eyes peeled, because this Wednesday, we will have an episode.
This is just the intro episode.
This is how much content you're getting.
So this Wednesday, there'll be another episode.
Subscribe.
Get it instantly in your feed.
And, uh, thanks for listening.
▲
Export Selection