All Episodes
Previous Next
May 1, 2025 - Lionel Nation
37:20
Lionel’s Central Park Walking Tour: Raw Real and Completely Uncensored
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Disaster can strike when least expected.
Wildfires, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes.
They can instantly turn your world upside down.
Dirty Man Underground Safes is a safeguard against chaos.
Hidden below, your valuables remain protected no matter what.
Prepare for the unexpected.
Use code DIRTY10 for 10% off and secure peace of mind for you and your family.
Dirty Man Safe.
When disaster hits, security isn't optional.
When uncertainty strikes, peace of mind is priceless.
Dirty Man Underground Safes protects what matters most.
Discreetly designed, these safes are where innovation meets reliability, keeping your valuables close yet secure.
Be ready for anything.
Use code DIRTY10 for 10% off today and take the first step towards safeguarding your future.
Dirty Man Safe.
Because protecting your family starts with protecting what you treasure.
The storm is coming.
Markets are crashing.
Banks are closing.
When the economy collapses, how will you survive?
You need a plan.
Cash, gold, bitcoin.
Dirty Man Safes keep your assets hidden underground at a secret location ready for any crisis.
Don't wait for disaster to strike.
Get your dirty man safe today.
Use promo code DIRTY10 for 10% off your order.
Central Park.
Oh yeah, baby.
Let me turn this around.
You don't want to see me.
This is a good one.
Buy the buy.
I gotta stop seeing buy the buy.
Check out this monstrosity.
Can you see this?
Absolute hideousness.
this is right here at the corner of 50 8th
This is Columbus Circle.
This is where, in 1971, Joe Columbo was shot three times.
And that famous Joey Gallo was involved in it.
They had this black shooter they recruited who was shot within a millisecond.
This is the Museum of Art and Design.
Very funky place.
Couldn't tell you exactly what it is, but I've been in there a number of times.
And it's very nice, various events.
But this is if you've got absolutely nothing better to do.
First, this is what makes New York, I still say, the carts and the dirty water dogs.
And I hope you're having a good time.
Why? Look at that.
A view of this.
Stay. you
Boycotting Joe Columbo.
Boy, this is risky.
This is...
They plan on boycotting Columbus.
I admit this.
I'm spinning around like a dervish.
I'm not even sure what that dervish is.
But...
Is this merchants?
First you will see people holding bike rentals.
We have a lot of time.
Look at that.
This is what used to be called Time Warner.
There it is.
Columbia Circle, right there.
And you'll always know it there by that gold globe, or the silver globe.
See this?
The last thing sold by foreign, hardworking foreigners.
The last thing sold by foreign, hardworking foreigners.
Any reaction?
Let me see this.
Can I get a five by five or something?
I want to make sure I'm not wasting my time with this.
Oh, there we go.
There we go.
Hi, Lionel.
Very good.
That's good.
I know how he feels.
Believe me.
Let's go into the park.
Do I see anybody?
Yes, yes.
Give me a 5x5.
Let's do a roll call.
Where is everybody from?
This is a park ranger.
Thank you.
Thank you for your service.
See that?
I always say that.
Very safe.
Families galore.
Look at this thingy.
Remember I told you this the other day?
There are the indiscriminate...
I shouldn't say indiscriminate.
Kind of a generic.
Either South American...
I always wonder if it's labor trafficking.
But they sell churros and...
They always have children with them.
Very sad.
Back to back, they sell churros and cut up fruit.
Wow, this is beautiful.
Oh, yeah.
This is gorgeous stuff here.
I'm going to take you to...
If we go down here to the left, which, that way, Tavern in the Green.
Eh.
But I want to take you to the place where I'm sure you've seen if you've watched movies like Kramer vs.
Kramer.
I cannot put into words how beautiful this is today.
I cannot explicate limb, expatiate how beautiful it is.
Look at this.
We can show you everything in one hour.
You know how expensive these things are?
Don't ever.
The horses?
Eh.
Okay.
See, the beautiful thing about the horse is you sit behind the horse and you smell just fumes of horse shit.
Because there's a bag.
Uh-oh, here comes the heat.
There comes the heat.
There's a bag that collects the horse dung, the manure, and it's right in front of you.
So, consequently, when you are sitting in it, Oh, let me stop right now.
And please, let me just say this right after that.
Let me make sure you see this.
I'm sorry I'm rambling.
I realize that.
I can't help it.
Okay, enough of that.
This is the famous Essex house.
You might have seen this.
Remember that famous photo?
Isn't this gorgeous?
Oh, God.
This is beautiful.
The famous photos...
Of these workers high up on beams eating their lunch.
It was right at the Essex house.
This is Central Park South.
What you're facing right now.
Tony Bennett lived there.
I can't tell you how expensive this is.
Words.
There is not an amount of money that can explain.
Look at these people lounging about.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Birds chirping.
As long as you hear birds, that's a good sign.
Check my power.
Checking your words and comments.
Central Park is too elitist.
That's a decent troll, but you can do better than that.
Let me ask you something.
I know you don't mean what you say.
That's okay.
I'll work with you.
Does this look elitist to you?
Of course not.
People are motivated by a variety of different things, and I understand it.
Jealousy.
And the desire to be funny.
It really motivates people.
And I'm here to help.
Anything I can do to sharpen your comedy chops, I'm here to help.
So you just feel free.
Just be cordial.
That's all.
You can say whatever you want about me.
I don't care.
But just be nice to each other.
Ah, the smell of horse shit.
It's beautiful.
Let's go in here.
Shall we?
What do you see?
I don't really read the...
Should we tip the stripper?
Love in the comments.
Some good stuff.
A lot of rambunctious riposte and rebarbative comebacks.
That's good.
That's good.
I don't know what this is.
But, uh, okay.
I think that was a dress.
Nothing wrong with that?
Or be it for me to look up.
There we go.
When people walk with their heads down, I want to scream.
Seriously.
Oh, by the by, Sean Atwood later today, about 3 p.m., 3 p.m. or so, Eastern Time.
We're going to be talking about this, quote, Jouffre Note.
Now, do you see this right here?
$15 caricature for kids.
Isn't that nice?
Only one problem.
The person who is drawing did not do that.
Somebody else did?
Which is okay.
Elitist, huh?
Just beautiful, beauteous.
Robbery odds, 50-50.
Again, this is, what is this, cold, hard Toronto.
Toronto, I can't believe what a pussy you are.
If this scares you, dude, I, uh, we've got to toughen you up.
People love to be, this is nothing.
Where I have felt really serious fear, Philly.
Not here, ever.
Ever.
My God.
The verdure.
The green.
Let's see what else is.
Alright, listen.
Let me explain something.
I want you to dig what I'm saying.
I love when people come out and say stuff.
And I mean that.
It doesn't have to be good or accurate.
I don't care about disinformation or data information.
I really don't care.
It doesn't matter to me.
As long as you are cordial to each other.
Say what you want about me.
I don't care.
Somebody before asked me, out of nowhere, talking about Virginia Dufresne, are you Jewish?
What does this have to do with anything?
And depending upon who asked me, I changed the subject.
Of course, as I've told you a million times, I'm a retired Catholic.
And have many, many Jewish friends, but no, I am not.
I'm not Jewish.
This is...
I want to show you some good stuff here.
I hope you're having fun.
You don't have to watch this, by the way.
Nobody is compelling.
I'm sorry that I'm not reading the notes.
It's too hard.
I'm going to walk into something.
Always the people looking at their phone.
What the hell am I doing?
Japanese?
Okay, here we go.
Here we go.
I'm going to try my best.
There's something about the smell of trees and breeze and...
What am I trying to say?
Just...
I've got these great Fresnel lenses.
And this is what, by the way, this is what Hillary Clinton wore.
Not them.
Look at these poor people.
They suck.
One thing, by the way.
That picture, if ever she robs a bank, she better hope they circulate that picture.
They'll never find her.
It looks nothing like her.
Don't ever get a picture.
No matter the inclination.
Because another thing, you sit there forever waiting for this slowpoke to get through with this.
What was I saying?
I'm sure it was brilliant.
I'm just digging this.
You know, you've actually motivated me to get out.
I was going to do a Jouffre video and I thought, you know, I'm really getting kind of tired.
I feel so sorry for her.
I don't know if they killed her.
I have no reason to believe it because there's no evidence of it.
But I'm not buying...
Oh, did you read this?
We'll talk about that later with Sean.
They said, she left a note.
She left a note, not a suicide note.
She just left a note.
She left a note.
Now dig this.
For people who were fighting and trying to gain courage, she left a note of encouragement which I think militates against the notion of her having committed suicide.
All of the extraneous collateral evidence point to her not killing herself.
Elitist, huh?
Check this guy out.
Is that an elite?
You think?
See all these people?
Older folks?
Do they look frightened?
Imagine just being one of them.
Come on.
Leaving your home.
Leaving your apartment.
Just pulling up a piece of grass.
Or is that chewing on a piece of grass?
Ventura Highway.
See this new building, this new construction?
I don't know who.
That's the Upper West Side.
That's not too far from where Regis lived.
What a guy.
You would have loved him.
I mean, I'm not name-dropping.
I love that guy.
We had so much fun meeting for lunch.
Coming up here is the carousel, the famous carousel.
Have you heard about that?
Can you see it?
Let's see if we can get near it.
It's great to see kids run and play and just enjoy being a kid.
I can't say that enough.
Now look at this thing.
I want to see Joe Rogan do a special on where'd that rock come from?
Where'd that boulder?
You know that big dude he has with a white beard?
They give you three hours.
Along with Dave Smith talking about Zionism.
Do you want to put me to sleep?
Listen, between you and me, I know it's critical, but I just cannot hear any more about genocide.
I can't.
I swear to you.
Because I've heard the argument, thank you.
I understand what you're saying, thank you.
Anti-Semitism, got it.
Got it.
Genocide, ICC, ICJ, got it.
Christian Zionism.
Got it.
I understand it.
Got it.
But please, enough.
Douglas Murray.
Dear God, no.
This is the carousel.
Let's get close, shall we?
Imagine, what do you do?
I run security at the carousel.
Let's see if we get this.
These horses are so...
Oh.
Here we go.
Watch this.
Thank you, Teresa Skinner.
Thank you.
Look at this little girl.
Look at this.
cute
You do a good job.
You do a good job.
Charge of security.
How long have you been doing this?
Oh, it's beautiful.
Look how happy they are.
Now tell me.
Don't you dig this?
I know, say something smart.
Come on, say something smart.
Come on, all you funny guys out there.
But you were a kid.
All of these painted wooden horses.
I'm getting dizzy already.
Dizzy, I had to spin it.
Like a whirlpool.
Tommy Rowe, ladies and gentlemen.
Alrighty.
I always think of those great...
Enough of that.
I'm winded.
I love the classic horror films where they speed up the horses and they lose control.
Every kid is the same.
I don't care what country.
I don't care where they're from.
Kids are kids.
And they're beautiful.
And they're precious.
And anybody who puts a hand on a kid...
I have an appointment with you.
With my soldering iron.
Do the math.
Okay, let me see.
Beautiful ladies and gentlemen I
You know what he's saying?
He's saying, don't let those bastards in the chat bother you.
No, no, that's what he said, seriously.
Don't let the bastards in the chat bother you.
I always think labor, labor trafficking.
That's terrible, I shouldn't say that.
How do you know?
I mean, how do you know?
You know what I mean?
Talk amongst yourselves.
Don't stop.
It said that I'm not like I'm different because I can do the
Look at this, elitist.
More elitist.
Are you catching the stairs?
Visit me or what?
Not that I care.
But you get this look of...
Is he taking a picture?
Expectation of privacy, baby.
Open view.
Open air.
Here we go more of these people.
See?
Central Park.
Checking it out.
Making sure everything's groovy.
This is, I think, I can't be part of the zoo, is it?
No.
Central Park Zoo, I don't care.
Central Park Zoo, I do not like.
I hate zoos.
Hate them.
Hate them.
This is what I wanted to show you.
Are you hearing the lamp?
I don't know if you can hear this.
Can you hear?
I've got earbud.
Never the Wi-Fi, just the cord.
But you hear every...
Language, or you think.
Look at that guy called him an asshole.
Hope you saw that collision.
I'm rambling.
I'm a rambling man.
Greg, Greg Allman's at it, guys.
Phones like this.
Seriously, gave the ambulatory schizophrenic a way of fitting in.
I told you my thought about giving out old broken earpieces to the insane.
Now this Remember the movie Kramer vs.
Kramer, where he taught his son how to ride a bike?
Oh, let's dig this.
Wow!
With gloves.
This is Pianist Angelo.
What's with the clubs?
Feeling nervous?
Feeling anxious?
Let Angelo pick up the pace of your anxiety.
Missing that deadline?
Your spouse is about to walk out?
Let Angelo play a few songs for you.
You'll be climbing a bell tower before you know it.
This is it, my friends.
This is the Hall of Poets.
There's Billy Shakespeare.
Can you see Shakespeare there?
I think that's Shakespeare.
I'm not going over there.
Again, remember New York?
No writing.
This is called The Mall.
When you read this, it says, The Mall Literary Walk.
The restoration of this landscape was made possible through the generosity of Ann Burnett and Charlestown.
This is the Literary Walk.
This is great, my friends.
You can endow a tree.
I know what you're thinking.
And well-endowed trees are even better.
Honor someone with a living tribute by endowing a tree.
Okay.
Robert Burns.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Walter Scott.
You might have heard about him.
He's been in all the papers.
Sir Walter Scott to you.
Thank you.
This is where, at one scene, where he was learning to ride the bike.
This is, I really dig this.
I know, say something smart.
Come on.
Come on.
Look at this.
Here we go.
Oh, you're going to love this one.
Israeli Defense Comics.
Watch it.
Watch it.
Smashing through, Bibi came face to face with the Ayatollah.
Okay.
All right.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
I know what you're going to say.
I know.
I don't know what the hell this is.
I like things where you're not sure exactly what it is.
Before you even ask how much, you say, what the hell is this?
What is this?
Oh, a little woolen...
That's very nice.
Not really.
Polaroid portraits, ladies and gentlemen.
Why am I saying ladies and gentlemen?
I should take a picture of this guy.
Women's rights pioneers, Sojourner Truth, Susan Bianchi, and Elizabeth Cady Stanton.
Are you digging this?
I just realized one thing.
You're not going to believe what I'm saying.
I haven't even been looking at the screen.
So for all you know...
I could have been taking pictures of the ground.
Because remember, this is about me, not you.
This is Fitzgreen Halleck.
One of my favorites.
Because when you think literary great, Fitzgreen Halleck comes to mind.
This started off as a good idea.
Kind of a Warholian type of thing.
Take something you know.
And just futz it up with paint.
Are we having fun?
Let me see some numbers.
Give me a one.
Are we having fun?
I'm doing this for my sister, by the way.
Bless her heart.
She's a shutter.
She tells me she likes to watch this.
I'm doing this for her.
It's not about you.
But keep those cards and letters coming, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't know what this is.
Oh, holograms.
There's Kobe and there's Michael.
Can you see that?
Wait a minute.
Okay.
I'm not going to make fun of any kind of neuromuscular anomalies.
This is it, my friends, right here.
Can you see the sign that applies to me?
I'm going to move up carefully.
Move up slowly.
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me if you see the sign.
That's it, my friends, right there.
Fart zone.
Let me read what you're saying.
Okay.
Can you hear birds?
I'm gonna stop for a second.
Read what you're saying.
read what you're commenting on.
Let's say.
Okay, what do you think?
Are you having fun?
Should I continue?
Be honest with me.
Be honest.
I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, I've got, what, about 107 people here.
I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, what am I doing?
Should I continue?
If it's a problem, let me know.
I mean, I could just listen to music.
Do you like this?
I wish I could show you some of the people.
It's neat.
I like that.
It's great.
All right.
That's all I need.
Come on.
Any good trollers?
You can do better than that.
Come on.
Let's go.
I'm looking.
Queeps.
Listen.
You've got to understand something.
I love really filthy stuff.
Trolling.
That's how I got into radio.
We used to call it being a chronic.
But this stuff is really lame.
I got to work with you on it.
What time is it?
12:54?
Oh, yes.
I'm going to show you another spot that you may have seen.
By the way, here's Meet the Author.
This is Garrett Rule Robinson.
You can meet him.
I don't know what this is.
This is Goth meets Roaring Twenties.
Like the look.
Remember Goth?
I always liked them.
What do they want?
Didn't bother anybody?
When I was in LA, I remember.
Did you hear this?
When I was in LA, I can't remember.
Kardashian-esque.
Anyway, the goth I used to really like.
They had black makeup, black clothes, black everything.
Black, white face, black.
I mean, they were dour.
They look morose, moribund, funereal, adorned in black.
But, you know, I kind of dug it.
What are you protesting?
What are you rebelling against?
What do you got?
Okay.
Watch it.
Watch what you're saying, my friend.
Watch what you're saying.
I know what you're thinking.
Oh, yeah.
Here is, of course.
And they say this with all due respect.
You can get a half-assed saxophone player.
Okay?
Take somebody who is exactly the same degree of half-assedness, have them be black, different story.
It's like blues people.
See what I'm saying?
I'm sure he's fine.
I used to also get annoyed.
By white people, all of a sudden pretending they were black bluesmen, wearing the pork pie hat, saying things like, all right, I dig it, the cat.
Shut up.
Murray, why are you talking like that?
I don't know.
Okay, I digs it.
Stop it.
Scatman Crothers channeling.
This is also a very, this is the band show.
This is very famous, I guess, to some folks.
See this man?
You gave up.
You may or may not have seen this.
Maybe it's me.
Maybe I've seen it.
Keep it alive.
Keep the music alive.
Keep the music alive, sir.
I don't know what that means.
See, I'm doing the same thing.
I make these gratuitous comments, keeping it real, keeping it alive.
It's the style of my study.
I'm doing the same thing.
I wouldn't talk like that.
I wouldn't walk up to a cellist and say, keep it alive.
What's the matter with me?
Okay, here we go.
I'm going to take you...
Let me take you...
This is one of the more...
You probably don't know this, but to me...
...famous thing.
Let me see this.
That was an important call, but you know what?
I can't take it now.
Let me do this.
Let me take you here first.
This is good.
This is good.
I just want to take a picture of nothing.
Okay.
Watch those steps.
I have this fear of falling.
And you can just absolutely find yourself end over end.
Okay, here we go.
Let me get out of her way.
I don't want to photobomb.
Here we go.
Look at this.
You see this?
This is right underneath the entrance to this fountain whose name keeping it real Notice I didn't give him the keeping it real.
And now we have this.
For no particular reason.
The princess.
Grab it, girl.
Your highness, all the best.
This is the famous fountain.
Whose name escapes you?
Ah, yes.
The Navy Terrace, named in honor of the men and women of New York City who served their country during the World Wars.
Now, right now, you don't know this, but I'm being sprayed by mists of this stuff.
This is really well-known.
And the name of this guy being found, I couldn't give you right now if you're Peyton.
But I'm sure you've seen it.
I'm not here.
I'm going to show you the boatyard, or the boathouse, not the boatyard, the boathouse.
This was closed for a long time.
little restaurant over here
This you might have seen in various movie presentations and the like.
Isn't it beautiful?
Don't you dig this?
This is beauteous.
I don't know what this silt is.
I don't know what these things are.
They look like mung beans.
No, they look like dried, black-eyed peas before they are prepared.
There's a famous boathouse.
And these people are in a boat.
Does this not look boring as hell?
What is the purpose of this?
Well, there's a woman who just sits there, and this poor guy says, I've never done this in my life.
My God!
Now I understand the rowers.
These people are winded.
Believe it or not, there have been people who have gotten stranded, meaning they've lost their ability to locomotive and propel.
Tell me that's not beautiful.
Tell me, dear friend.
Well, let me just do this.
I think I've had enough of you.
Tell me how much you loved it.
Be honest with me.
Tell me how much you loved it.
Let me give you a little update.
A little update, my friends.
Today I'm going to be with Sean Atwood about 3...
3 o 'clock?
Yeah, about 3. 3 or 3.30.
I don't know.
Something along those lines.
I'm going to be with him.
Please follow me at Lionel Nation.
That's the name of this thing.
Thank you for this.
I appreciate it.
We're going to be doing more.
I've received more attention from you regarding what I've been doing than anything I've said before.
Why?
I have no idea.
Alright?
And thank you.
Thank you for your courtesy.
Thank you for your love.
Thank you for letting me share you.
My New York will do more of this stuff.
Have a great day.
And by the way, visit us.
Today, I'm telling you, words cannot describe how beautiful it is.
And words cannot describe how beautiful you are.
Have a great day.
And don't forget, my friends, the monkey's dead.
The show's over.
Sue ya.
Da-da.
▲
Export Selection