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April 30, 2025 - Lionel Nation
57:49
Trump DOMINATES America! Dems PANIC as World Backs Him 100%!
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Alright, kiddies.
It's me, Uncle Letty, with you.
Just joining, just reminding you, here we are every day.
I hope you've been following me, watching me.
Do you like those walkabouts?
I'm having the best time walking around, talking into my phone like a damn fool!
Today we went all the way down the west side, took you down to the, almost to the city winery, and to take you to the helipad.
Maybe tomorrow we'll go to Central Park.
Come on board.
Join the fun, the frolic, and the mayhem.
Here on the Lionel Show, everybody.
Hope everybody is great and groovy.
Gracie's there.
Rick Rohr is there.
Dick.
Papa Kilo.
Judy Amica.
Judy Amica.
Look at this.
Judy Amica.
Wow.
Old school lineup with advance notice.
Yay.
Eh.
Sometimes yes.
Sometimes no.
Maria loves your life walks.
I'm loving them today.
I'm just turning that phone around.
I even got a stick so I can hold this stick a little bit better.
Anyway, I hope it's okay.
I love it.
I think it's fun.
Today was fun to go out and see the people walking and running down.
It was just fun.
Anyway, loved it.
Tomorrow's the President is 100 days, and I'm going to talk to you about a lot of things today.
And first of all, I want you to listen and to join and to be a part of the thing that we're doing right now.
Make sure you are subscribed to Lionel Nation.
Hope you caught Mrs. L doing her live at 5. She's got some important things.
Wait till she tells you what she's up to.
Got a big event on May the 6th, ladies and gentlemen.
Go to Lynn's Warriors and find out how you can support it, how you can contribute to be a part of it for the big benefit, even if you're not there.
Even if you're not there.
Doesn't matter.
We appreciate your help and your love because she's fighting child predation, really, and trafficking one step at a time through media saturation.
She has made so many people so much wiser because of this, and that's why she's great, and that's why I love her, and that's why you love her as well.
Also, a lot of folks of mine, friends of mine, have been saying, what is going on regarding this power shortage in Europe?
My friends, if you're not paying attention to that, there's no hope for you.
If you are not paying attention to that, if you are not a part of that, if you think that that can't happen here, You are out of your mind, and that's why you must listen very, very carefully to our sponsor.
We've been talking about this forever because now's the time to listen!
Let me ask you a question.
What happens when the trucks stop?
Think about this.
Trucks.
You know, the trucks that bring your food, and then when one store closes because of a riot or ransomware hit or a hurricane or even manufactured weather.
Oh yeah!
We've talked about that.
What happens when all of a sudden, suddenly, the entire supply chain collapses like dominoes?
What happens then?
We've seen it happen, and it doesn't take much.
And that's the thing you've got to think about.
A trucker strike, a cyber attack, some EMP, some Carrington class disaster, a city shut down by violence.
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Okay, my friends.
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me on that one?
Is that alright?
All of a sudden, my sound went out.
Can you hear me?
Tell me, can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you?
Can you hear me?
You gotta let me know.
Can you hear me?
Let me see.
Let me check, check.
Okay, Rick Worst says, yes.
Thank you, Freddie.
Thank you, all here.
Thank you, Judy.
I read some of your comments.
Some of them are great.
Some of them are just off the charts.
But that's okay.
Listen, you come here and you say whatever you want.
It's a free country.
It's a free country.
I've got to tell you one of the best stories that I love, and I know you don't care about this because it's not your style, but this is a Bill Belichick story.
This is a grown man, 73 years old, being pushed around by this chippy, this little girl, who's 23. This is Elder Abuse, my friends.
Elder Abuse front and center.
But that's not...
Listen, look, I didn't expect you to care about that because frankly, what are you going to do?
What are you going to do?
Tomorrow we're going to be doing a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful piece on the President's 100 Days.
It's going to be some kind of fun, everybody.
It's going to be so much fun.
How about this one?
Trump celebrates successes on illegal immigration.
We'll talk about that in a hundred days.
Here we go.
Gene Hackman's wife, Betsy Arakawa, final autopsy.
Why don't we talk about Virginia's Euphraie?
Are we still talking about the rodents?
Are we still talking about this?
What are you talking about?
Why don't we do this?
Even her...
Lawyer, David Boies, is saying, well, you know, she's been through a lot of things.
You're making it sound like this is legitimate.
They're making it sound like they believe the story or that there's no other way that perhaps something happened other than, you know, what have you.
Pilgrimedia says, I loaded Linux on a 60-year-old MacBook new again?
I idled?
I did?
Loaded?
I'm not sure what that means.
Thank you.
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
That's excellent.
Terrific.
Good for you, my friend.
So that's one of the stories which I find absolutely fantastic because why nobody cares about this, I have no idea.
I cannot say that they killed her.
I cannot say that because I have no information to say this, but I wouldn't be surprised if you found out you'd say, I knew it.
Donald Trump holds Michigan rally celebrating the first 100 days.
America is dumping ground for criminals no longer.
He's doing his thing.
He is absolutely doing his thing.
He is wonderful.
Near fire, Trump kicks Doug Emhoff off U.S. Holocaust Memorial Council.
What the hell was he doing there in the first place?
Get rid of all these people.
Go to Doge.
I just say if the name Emhoff or Kamala or whatever.
Gone.
Through.
Through.
Chuck Todd, by the way, claims establishment media didn't miss the story.
Who gives a shit about this?
Look, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know how to tell you this.
And maybe I can tell you this in a nice way.
I don't care what these people say.
I don't care what they say about the president.
I don't care what they...
Now they're saying, oh, Melania's got to hold his hand because he has a tremor.
They're holding hands.
They're married.
These people don't listen to this stuff.
It's insanity.
All I know is very, very, very, very, very soon, something better happens.
Now, I'm going to say this again, my friends, and I want you to listen.
Because I don't like, there has been, the only people arrested have been the two judges.
That's it!
That's it!
Two judges!
Nobody else!
I'm not going to go down the list.
Can you tell me why?
Why do you think that is?
Why is that?
Why do you think that is?
Roger M, by the way, is so correct.
Roger says so many fake polls, including Fox.
Listen, folks, do me a favor.
I know that...
How do we say this?
I know they're trying to do a good job.
And, you know, bless their heart.
God bless them.
And I think they're trying to do the best thing.
But I don't.
I don't.
I don't follow Fox News.
Not because...
Not because of the...
Not because they're bad people.
They're good people.
They're good people.
And, you know, Newsmax, I'm sure.
You know who's my new best friend now?
Greg Kelly.
That's right!
Greg Kelly and I see each other a lot.
He's a maniac.
And he dances like he's ever danced before.
Globalist Mark Carney won a Canadian election.
How about Pulliev?
Pulliev?
Sucked.
Didn't even win his own place.
What the hell's going on with that, ladies and germs?
What is going on?
Now, I look at some of this stuff specifically regarding Alex Jones.
I go to Alex Jones.
I go to RT.
I go to...
You know who's pretty doggone good?
Believe it or not, pretty damn...
Is that Gateway Pundit?
I mean, I used to say...
I love their stuff.
How about this?
My son is suicidal after being sacrificed on the altar of political correctness.
The Italian father says, son, after son imprisoned for...
What is this?
Son for imprisoned.
Did you see this?
After son imprisoned for murder of Tunisian migrants.
I don't know what the hell that's about.
Alex has been on fire.
Did you see Tucker with Fitz?
Oh, fantastic!
White House Pregnary says...
Secretary Leavitt slams Amazon for adding tariff prices.
She is so good.
27 years old.
Fantastic.
Kremlin backtracks, now ready to negotiate with illegitimate Ukraine, thanks to Trump.
Listen, they're going to end this.
Putin has been saying, I don't want Ukraine.
I don't want this.
I'm only there because I told you specifically what you were doing.
I know everybody hates Putin.
I know you're supposed to hate Putin.
I know he's a bad guy.
It's bullshit.
I'll take him any day.
Any day over...
What's his name?
Zelensky.
That twit.
So I talked the other night.
I was at an event.
I can't tell you this event.
I can't tell you where I was going.
But it was a group of people.
And the reason why I don't say that is there are still...
People who are blackballed by virtue of being either conservative or Trump reporters or whatever it is.
So I told you I was sitting there and this guy's a really good egg.
He's kind of in the show busy sort of thing.
I think he's Russian or Ukrainian or something.
I don't know.
But he talks like this.
He had two, I told you, two complete big meals, two desserts.
It was incredible.
Just to watch him eat.
And he said, you know who's going to take out Zelensky, don't you?
The Ukrainians, the mothers, because of the people who have been sacrificed, who have been pulled off of the streets, they're the ones who are doing it.
How do you like that?
I despise that guy.
And I despise how we have been sold a bill of goods and a pile of shit regarding this since day one.
And that's why you can quote me on that.
Doggone it.
You can quote me on that.
Fake polls, gaslighting.
There's a fellow named John McLaughlin.
John McLaughlin is one of the best pollsters ever.
Ever.
So he took the various data regarding the president and he ran through it all and looked at it and said, lo and behold, the numbers don't jibe.
They don't work.
The 13% or the 5% or the 10% He counterbalances with the people who don't believe in polls and with those individuals who are negative to the Democrats.
Anyway, it's a wash.
The polls don't mean anything.
Now I said today, I think I said, I think it might have been on the Lionel Media private channel where we can talk about super duper anything and And I ask the question,
what do they believe in?
Oh, oh.
Let me ask you a question.
Now this is a tough one, but this is an important question.
If I see a bunch of black kids going, there was a carnival cruise line and all of these, there was a bunch of black kids rioting or whatever it is.
What am I supposed to say about that?
If there were a bunch of Fraternity people at a white, let's say, university.
They'd say, oh, white fraternity party.
But if there's a bunch of black...
How many times have you seen groups of specifically black women lose their shit?
And what am I supposed to say regarding that?
I'm being that serious.
I'm asking you a question.
Tell me what I'm supposed to say.
Am I supposed to say, well, this is just...
I'm not saying all black people riot or...
I'm not saying that.
But are you...
Do you...
Are you paying attention and seeing more and more of these groups of black women, young, not older, young, losing their minds, getting into fights and grabbing...
My favorite is when the wigs come up.
I don't think anybody has any real hair.
I don't think anybody...
Out there, especially on TV, has real hair.
It's a free country, but they got that skin cap thing, and they got their wig on.
I say, come on.
Anyway, anyway.
I just find wigs fascinating.
I find it because the only way I would ever wear a wig is if somebody said, are you?
That's a wig?
Really?
Then I'd do it.
But short of the time.
What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to say?
You know I follow, I watch all of these YouTube channels.
Oh, Raul says, Raul weighs in and says, the world acknowledges Trump as a true leader.
Indeed, sir.
As do we.
But what is happening?
Let me also tell you something.
If you want to see And I know this is not in any way a scientific study, but I told you, I think I told you, that I've studied repeatedly all of these videos of people getting into fights with cops, and they're women!
They're women!
Women are out of their minds!
Not all of them, but the ones getting arrested!
What is this?
Not men!
Oh, there's some few, but it is...
And women drinking?
Please, stop for a second.
What's the matter?
What do you think?
Tell me what the reason.
Come on, Shelby.
What do you think?
They went up to that school and the shit hit the fan.
There you go.
Tell me, why do you think it is?
Oh, my favorite is, speaking of wigs, how about that congressperson filing a...
Impeachment.
I don't know the one they're talking about the one.
I know you're not supposed to make fun.
But it's funny.
Didn't you think it was Jimmy Fallon?
I did.
Fred, you son of a gun, you.
Fred gifted 10 Lionel Nation memberships.
Thank you, Jimbo.
Or Freddie.
Why did I call you Jimbo?
I have no idea.
Here we go, my friends.
Breaking news in Canada.
Alberta Premier has just announced changes to referenda laws.
Now only requires 177,000 signatures instead of 600,000 to invoke a provincial referendum.
Hey!
That's good news, everybody.
Don't you think so?
Damn right.
What is the matter?
What happened?
What happened?
Food stamp and federal...
I don't know why that would affect folks who were born here.
Joseph says, I live here in Canada.
As well you should, my friend.
You know why?
Because you're a maniac.
You are a maniac, and only Canada can control you.
It's true, though, too.
Listen, your country, Canada, I don't know what the hell is the matter with you, but listen, we can't talk.
We had Trump, Biden.
After he cheated.
After they stole the election.
What?
They stole the election!
No, they didn't.
Yes, they did!
They stole the election!
Say it!
Are you an election denier?
You goddamn right!
Trump 2020!
You goddamn...
They asked Trump, well, what are you going to do to win the election?
I did win the election.
Oh, okay.
But what could you have done to get more votes?
I got more votes.
Oh, yeah.
We are so through with this.
Oh, we're so through with this.
But that's why you've got to understand, my friends, that we're not going to put up with this nonsense anymore.
We're going to call a spade a spade.
Can I say that anymore?
Anybody know what that means?
I don't even know what that means.
Did you see this?
By the way, Mrs. L is going to be...
I know where you're going to be.
Going pretty soon.
We've got some.
Yeah, you got to go back.
Look at this.
Here is a Donald Trump.
This is 45th president.
This is an old book.
Isn't it great?
This is a bookmark.
I told you I've got more stuff.
When you go to D.C., okay, you go to the White House gift shop, okay, they've got the greatest stuff ever.
Who knew that this guy would be such a marketing person?
Who knew the Gulf of America, the 48th president?
I love this guy.
I love this guy.
I'm serious.
I don't care what anybody says.
I love this guy.
And I just don't.
I follow the news.
But there are some things around the world that we've got to pay attention to, my friends.
And I'm not going to bring it up here because this is not the place.
You've made it very, very clear this is not your stuff.
You don't want to talk about the Middle East or...
And I understand.
Russia, you bet.
Who's going to get exactly what it wants?
The Foroblast, the Foroblast, and Crimea?
Donetsk?
Lugansk?
What's this?
Not Sharapovia.
You know what I'm talking about.
The four oblasts and then one.
And that's it.
Which is what he was saying since the beginning.
And that's all.
That's the way that works.
Have you noticed how all of a sudden eggs or egg or egg are back?
Have you noticed that?
Have you noticed that?
Anybody?
Look at this.
Leslie says, Lionel, your walks are so awesome.
Thank you.
I'm really enjoying them.
I am telling you.
I really enjoy it.
Some of the stuff, I love to just point to kind of like narrate.
Look at these people.
They were getting on the bus today for the water.
They were taking the ferry in from Jersey and then they got on this water taxi bus and they get dropped off.
And they look like they just look so miserable.
They're just getting on the thing in there.
It's so, all this movement.
I told you I want to do a show called Where the Fuck Are They Going?
It's my show.
And I would love to just pick somebody up and just, you know, you are, you know, they would say, like, what's my name?
The Price is Right.
Johnny Johnson, you are, come on down.
I would just go around and say, Johnny Johnson, you are today's contestant on What the Fuck Are You, Where Are You Going?
That's right.
I don't want to be profane.
But that's what I want to talk about.
All these people walking around very, very hastily looking down, paying attention with their stupid backpacks.
I hate backpacks.
Hate them.
Grown man wearing a backpack?
Stupid.
Raul says, when the sisters destroyed a McDonald's, it's called Black Girl Magic.
Is that it?
Is that supposed to be?
Is that it?
I want to go on a walking, a line of walking tour.
You know what we should do?
You think I'm kidding?
In New York, they have these, sometimes you'll see Japanese people or whatever, and there'll be a guy in the front with a big pole, like a long pole, with a sign or like a flag or something, and you just follow that guy because there's so many people, and he's got a bullhorn.
Oh, I'd love to do that.
But we would just sit on a bench and look, look at that guy.
Look at that guy.
There was a woman today, I would have loved to have sat down and talked to her.
She had like everything in her suitcase.
She was smoking cigarettes.
People say she's homeless.
She was a little patsa.
But I would love to have talked to her and said, you know, where are you from?
Tell me about your life.
What happened?
Why are you here?
We saw that boat this morning called The Beast.
And all the rules.
Sit down.
You're going to throw up.
If you're pregnant, you've got to be somebody.
Kids can't come.
There's so much activity.
So much activity.
And so much running.
Anyway.
I think we might want to do the park coming up.
I might do that.
I got my new stick.
He says, be careful.
I'm walking around with a stick.
With this thing.
They've got to be careful of us.
Because that's the story.
There's all these people I told you in the park.
I always love to say, thank you for your service.
And they get a kick out of that in a weird way.
In any event, so we got that going.
Uh, what else is happening?
It's kind of a slow night.
Fred said, I used to wear a headband, and you still should do it today, my friend.
Absolutely, look at this, love people watching.
Oh, no.
Do Hudson Yards, do Hudson Yards, they have an art installation.
Do they, uh, Mrs. L went the other day.
The Downton Abbey exhibit is there, Mrs. L went.
There's art on the outside.
Hudson Yards is a...
I really dig Hudson Yards and the High Line.
I don't know what...
It's weird.
You walk by and there's these million dollar apartments and you're walking right up to the window because somebody's in there and you're like, hey...
We're not really sure what the High Line is about.
But a lot of people like Kevin Bacon and a lot of...
People, and who was it, the other one, a lot of actors said, we're going to take all of these old train lines that used to be elevated, and we want to make this into some kind of a thing.
And it's, people love it.
It was packed.
You just walk, I don't know what you do.
But see, that's an interesting point.
That's Chelsea.
That was also called, that was historically a gay community.
But that, now it's, it's really, it's almost like a, it's like a...
It's like a clean, not a cleaner, but a more modern version of the village.
It's kind of a funky place.
But anyway, the village has got that.
The good thing about New York is there's so many parts of it where sometimes you just never go.
There are parts of the Lower East Side, I never go.
Other people swear by it.
The Lower East Side, LES, that was an alphabet city.
That was where the cool hipsters went.
I don't think I've ever been there.
Oh yeah, Nolita.
Yeah, north of Little Italy.
Come on.
All right, all these names.
In Tampa, they had a place Soho and Noho, south of Howard.
Oh, please!
Versus Houston.
I mean, that's, you know, that's okay.
But listen, I'm just, just, I'm digging the whole thing.
And I'm really, I'm digging the present.
Let me ask a very quick question.
Do any of you feel any Gas.
No.
Do any of you feel any form of financial strictures or problems because of the tariffs?
Do you notice anything?
Are things inordinately either expensive?
Are you seeing that?
Did you see Amazon wants to listen?
Yeah, I said Amazon wants to listen.
And boy, Caroline Levy came out and just read him the riot act.
This is terrorism!
And Besson stood around.
I think he died.
The late 80s and nobody told him.
He's just a real fituso.
It's like a pasta chuta.
It's kind of like a...
He's not interested.
And by the way, where's Dan Bongino anywhere?
Hello?
Remember Dan?
And what about Carrie Lake?
She's doing Voice of America.
Who else has got something?
stuff to everybody
Lee Zeldin is a wet fart.
Okay?
Lee Zeldin was one of the worst candidates.
I know they go, Lee Zeldin almost won.
If Lee Zeldin acted like he gave a damn, okay, if he did, it'd be a different story.
There's a wonderful group of people, a wonderful organization headed by former New York Commissioner Ray Kelly and Betsy McCoy Ross, who was a former lieutenant governor, and we were talking to her the other day, and there are actual efforts to try to motivate this.
Listen, let me change subjects.
I would have groups of people, and I would have this covered by organizations.
Mrs. L went to something the other day that was so Organized.
You could not believe.
I think she told you this.
You cannot believe how organized it was.
Did you mention what it was?
Yeah.
What's it called again?
The Metamarch.
Yeah, the Metamarch.
But who was the group?
The Heat Initiative.
The Heat Initiative.
But what's the one?
Was it Archwell?
Archie?
Or was it?
Oh, I didn't mention that.
Archwell Foundation.
The Archwell Foundation, which might be Prince Harry or whatever.
It is.
These are some of the most organized people you've ever seen in your life.
But see, what I want to do is, I want to go in, and I want people to see this.
I want to go into black communities and gay communities and Amish communities.
I want to go to the Upper West Side or whatever the hell people are.
And I want to talk to, I want to sit and listen and have people tell me, what is it?
What are your complaints?
But what will it take for you to vote Republican?
And I'm going to tell them, look, I'm with you.
I don't even want to be.
I'm not a Republican, but I'm voting Republican.
I'm not a Republican, but I'm voting Republican.
You got that?
You got what I'm saying?
It's like sometimes there are people who...
I'll give you an example.
When I talk about my pastry supply, preparewithlionel.com, we were talking about something and somebody said, do they have vegan food?
And the answer is, yeah, they do.
They have this.
Yeah, isn't that great?
Vegan and kosher.
By the way, vegan and kosher and parva, basically the same stuff.
In any event, I would tell people, during an emergency food, I'll eat bacon.
It's an emergency.
What are you talking about?
This is not something you pull like, hey, let's pop open a tin of that.
No!
I mean, you can do that.
But I'm thinking to myself, do you not understand what emergency means?
Meaning, follow me with this, by analogy.
Ladies and gentlemen, you may hate Donald Trump.
You may hate the Republicans.
This is an emergency.
These people have no interest whatsoever in you.
They are fulfilling agendas nobody can figure out.
There is nobody here right now who believes there is no definition of a woman.
Now you and I can talk about somebody who...
Listen, I've got no problem with...
By the way, there's a wonderful caller, Christine, who calls on WABC.
She's a transgender.
I don't care.
If you want to be called a woman, I don't care.
I'm talking to my kids.
Kids, no, no, nay, nay, nay.
And men in sports.
Other than that, I've got no problem with that.
I believe in my heart of hearts.
There are some people who believe in their heart of hearts, that they are a woman, that they identify.
And you know what?
You go, girl.
I don't care.
Good for you.
Just don't proselytize, kids.
Don't.
Puberty block kids don't do any of that stuff and don't force men to compete or allow men to compete against girls.
Short of that, I don't care what it is.
I don't care.
I don't care.
It's a free country.
You can identify any way you want.
And I know you believe that too because deep down inside you believe in freedom and you believe the Constitution and you're kind of that weird kind of cuckoo, weird libertarian way of speaking.
And I know you are.
I know you are.
I know that's...
Kind of what you believe in.
I know that.
Because...
Here we go.
That should sound better.
That should sound a lot better.
This is when the Yeti kicks in versus...
Doesn't that sound better?
Huh?
Doesn't that sound better?
That should sound a lot better.
Because that's the mic before it was going through the laptop.
Cut Up Chatter says, the value of my handmade goods increased due to China's lack of factories.
President Trump improving life for grandmas who crochet everywhere.
Excellent.
Excellent.
That's all that matters.
But like I said, I want to go and I want to talk to people and I said, I want you to vote for me.
And I can say, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not real crazy about some of these people, some of these Republicans.
They say stuff that I don't understand.
First of all, there will never be a law that prohibits abortion.
That ain't going to happen.
I don't want that to happen.
That will be utter and absolute chaos.
However, I don't like abortion.
And, and, and, and, I think we should go out of our way to perhaps make Adoption of the particular service is available.
But, I'm with you on that.
So, count me in.
Okay?
The Dobbs case did not make abortion illegal.
It just said there's no constitutional right.
There is no constitutional right to sodomy.
There is no...
And by the way, sodomy also includes heterosexual sodomy.
I don't want to get too into this stuff.
Okay?
But that's the bottom line.
Bottom line.
Period.
End of discussion.
End of discussion.
Environmental.
You gotta help me with this one.
I think we gotta worry about the environment versus the climate.
Environment.
Where's Bobby Kennedy?
By the way, Bobby Kennedy is gonna be one of the biggest failures of all time!
He's not gonna do anything we wanted!
He's not gonna do anything we wanted!
This autism is going nowhere!
He's talking about red dye!
Prove me wrong, Bobby.
Prove me wrong.
He's talking about red.
I don't give a damn about the red dye.
I mean, yeah, that's good.
I assume he did that.
Let Oz take care of that.
Let's have a group of people.
Put it out there.
Do vaccines cause autism?
Answer the question.
I don't know.
I think there's some other factors as well.
I think there's some other factors as well.
I really do.
A lot of older folks having kids.
Older folks, that's a very serious consideration.
But anyway, but so far as Pam Bondi, bless her heart, she's on TV.
You don't have to go on Fox News all the time.
You know you can turn on your own.
You can have your own DOJ TV station.
You can do that if you'd like.
Did you know that?
You can do that if you'd like.
You can actually do that.
You don't have to go and talk to Dave Doofy.
You don't have to do that.
I mean, you don't have to do that.
Live studio audience is the last bastion because there's never enough people to go, yeah!
These people, they bus in.
Remember when they had the Hannity?
I saw this on YouTube.
It was so sad.
Hi, Sean!
Hi!
Okay.
Throw them in the ball!
Okay, throw them the ball.
Throw me the ball!
All right, shut up with the ball.
I mean, if you throw them a ball, this is sad.
I turned on the other night and I saw this for the first time.
Typhoid and Cutbucket.
Hey, look, if everyone invites me on, I'll go on because I'm a hypocrite and I'll tell them, you're not funny!
I heard something great today about all the people that Joe Rogan has had on our show who aren't funny.
Do you think Theo Vaughn is funny?
I love that very nice guy.
Do you think he's funny?
Do you think that Bert was a Kreischer or whatever?
He went to my high school in Tampa, Jesuit.
Kreischer, but do you think he's funny?
I think Joe Diaz is funny, but do you?
Are these people funny?
No!
Not at all.
I mean, I'm really, I'm sorry.
Was there ever anyone, did you ever at any time in your life roll over laughing with Norm MacDonald?
Bless his heart.
What a man died and never even told anybody.
Colin Quinn was talking.
Colin Quinn, by the way, great guy.
He does a lot of tours and walks around.
He is great.
One of the nicest people ever.
He is, and he's aces.
Aces.
Seriously.
We lived in the same building together.
You know who else lived in our building, my old building years ago?
Adam Sandler, when he was with SNL, because they all lived in there.
Nice guy.
Really, really legit.
But is there anybody really funny?
Do you listen to Theo Vaughn and say he's really funny?
There was a woman that was on today.
Her name was...
What does that mean?
She was on today.
What does that mean?
I'm watching her YouTube.
She could have been on any of that.
Her name is...
Not Epstein, but...
Edelstein or something.
I don't know what her name is.
Oh...
When I say, here we go, Chick Comic.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Chick Comic.
We're going to talk about periods and dating and sex and old.
I can't relate to this.
Sure enough.
Yeah.
You know what's great is something called Drybar.
Have you seen this?
There's an old man.
Probably not that older than me.
But he's absolutely one of the funniest people.
Very clean.
And there are these old comedians.
Have you ever seen James Gregory?
Have you seen James Gregory?
He passed away.
His teeth, his mouth, he was so sick.
He looked so ill at the end.
It was frightening.
But he was from Georgia.
And he came out and said, you know, there's something that I find incredibly amazing.
There are people who will sit out.
He goes, there's never been anything called a sudden hurricane.
It's never happened in the history of mankind.
Tornadoes maybe, but not a sudden hurricane.
They start off weeks in advance out in the ocean, and they tell you, next Tuesday, there's coming.
And people will wait it out, or write it out.
And you know why?
Because they've got plywood.
They think that plywood will get them to...
Anyway, he does this whole thing on plywood.
It's one of the funniest.
Really, really good.
It's clean.
It's decent.
He talks about funerals in the South.
All they care about is, did you bring a covered dish?
What did he bring?
Was it a meat dish?
Macaroni?
Did the fellas bring the macaroni?
I love that stuff.
You know why?
It's clean.
It's funny.
I can relate to it.
And it's not some chick trying to tell you about how hot she is.
I mean, I just...
Stop it.
And Theo Vaughn, Bless his heart.
Bless his heart.
If you said, if I said, seriously, and I mean this, and if I said, what does this guy do?
He's a comedian.
Who?
He is.
He is.
Comedians are some of the most unfunny people ever.
Give me an example.
WABC, Joy Behar.
there and she was fired, shit can, because she would roll in in the morning with newspapers and she just said, well, I was out last night doing my thing and I'll just, I'm just funny.
And they canned her.
They said, you're not funny at all.
Big Dick from Chi-Town says, Uncle I,
I will look for that, my friend, and I thank you.
I thank you for that.
But Joy Behar was a disaster.
Do you know that when Bob Grant died, I was on the air, and she said, I forget what it was, and she said something like, no, no, no, no, nobody died.
Well, he died when he was fired.
I forget what, no, no, no, no, nobody was fired.
Excuse me.
And she called up, and she said, you know, I said, excuse me, I said, do you think I'm going to let you talk about Bob Grant?
Are you out of your mind?
But I didn't cut her off.
Do you think for one minute that I'm going to let you?
No, seriously.
Do you think?
And it was great, because I didn't hang up on her, and I said I want her to hang up.
I don't think she did, but it was terrific.
What kind of an idiot?
Why would I allow you?
And of course, we're on the phone.
Okay, so she was a dog, but the best was Gilbert Gottfried.
The program director at the time looked out and said, well, he's a comedian, you know.
And they looked out in the studio and go, where is he?
They looked from the control room with the glass and go, where is he?
He's not in there.
And they're looking down the hall and go, where the hell is he?
He was under the desk.
He was like freaked out.
And the program would go, oh, this isn't going to be good.
Because they're terrific.
And whatever he did then.
That's great, but if he has to just think and talk, forget it.
It's like Bill Maher.
Bill Maher, where this came from?
Bill Maher has ever even been remotely...
I don't know who's funny, if people are funny.
I watch Jonathan Winters on Jack Parr do the thing with the stick.
Have you seen this?
Please YouTube it.
I believe he didn't know it was Jack Parr.
Who was one of my heroes.
Jack Parr was one of my heroes.
I'll tell you a story about that in a moment.
Jack Parr had on Jonathan Winters with a stick.
What's your memory of Les Moonves?
Well, towards the end, it wasn't a very good storyline.
But thank you, sir.
Watch this.
Watch the genius of this.
Let me tell you a true story.
One of the things that I was so, not proud of, but my friend in Tampa, a great, well, that area, a great evangelical preacher, one of my best buddies ever.
I'm not going to mention his name, but love him.
He called me up and he said, because when OJ was here, I owned OJ.
Owned it.
No, this was before the internet.
I said, he's guilty.
He killed these people.
I mean, nobody did this.
I don't know why.
Anyway, so my friend called me.
He says, do you know Charles Grodin?
Do you know him?
I said, do I know him?
I said, no, I don't know him.
I know who he is.
Well, he's talking about you.
He's talking about you all the time.
I said, who?
The actor?
And he was doing a show on, I think it was CNBC.
Run by Roger Ailes.
My friend Bob Berkowitz had a show on there.
So I said, this is great.
So anyway, I found out he was talking about OJ.
So I got invited on.
I said, how did you hear me?
I was on WABC in the mornings at the time.
How did you hear me?
Well, maybe he goes, and he said, Jack Parr.
Jack Parr, Grodin, and Regis Philbin all lived in Connecticut.
They were all buddies.
And Jack Parr used to listen to me and told Grodin to listen to me.
I never got the chance to meet Jack Parr.
That would have been...
I don't know what I would have done.
Seriously, there are very few people that...
The only time I ever went berserk...
Meeting somebody.
Mrs. L, we'll tell you.
Remember at the old LaGuardia?
Not the, but that extended, but weird LaGuardia?
E.O. Wilson, Ed Wilson, the ant expert, the entomologist.
Don Rickles, excellent as he was.
In fact, Regis and I, who were very close, towards the end of his life, we used to have lunch all the time, and he talked about, he goes, you know, Don Rickles, and then Regis was a little slow in the, he just was a, anyway, make a long story.
So I go on Charles Groden and I said, you're kidding me?
Jack Parr told you?
Oh my God.
So I remember there were no, I didn't, I don't even think we had, we didn't even have a recording with like VHS.
This was 430 years ago.
Anyway, during OJ.
And this was in Fort Lee where the CNBC was.
And they had Groden and he would take out this mirror of his pocket.
And he would look at himself, which was very good, which I did.
I always did that.
If you're going to go on TV, see how you look.
Is your tie okay?
Is anything hanging out of your nose?
He always did that.
So he said, listen, I can't do it.
It makes him sound gay.
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
He said, listen, you only have like three minutes or five minutes or whatever it is.
I'm sorry.
We ran late.
I said, no problem.
I said, just do me a favor.
Just say, what do you think?
And sit back.
I'll take it.
So he thought, well, I've got my cars.
You're not going to need your cars.
I'll take care of this.
Have you ever seen me on with, I'm going to be on with Atwood tomorrow.
Sean, my buddy.
He doesn't say anything.
He sits back, he gets up, he goes, gets his car washed, makes a sandwich, comes back.
I'm still going.
Because it's a talent.
It's a gift.
A cheap gift, but it's a gift.
So anyway, so I said, you ready?
Just trust me.
Okay.
So he said, so now we have on Lionel.
Lionel, what do you think?
I'm going to tell you what I think!
He's guilty!
If you think for one minute that Al Cowling said, I need to do it, and I knew the facts of the case inside and out.
And I just went on and on.
Like you see the floor director, you do this, and they do those hand signals, whatever these things, I never figured out what 30 seconds, I figured I'd wrap it up.
And he said, that was great.
That was all again!
And again!
And again.
So one night I was on with Tavis Smiley.
So I said, Tavis?
Sounds like a decongesting.
There's something called Tavist.
You know that Tavit?
Anyway, I got the joke.
I thought it was funny.
So, I let him have it.
I mean, let him have it.
I said, where and what planet do you think?
You didn't think he did what?
This was a mistake?
You think this was a mistake?
It just happened to be the club?
And O.J. Simpson happened to be the club in Outland Park with a limo driver?
No, anyway.
The next time I was on, I was in the makeup chair and this woman came in and says, okay.
Just like that, her eyes are okay.
Tabbit Smiley wanted to make sure that I tell you.
Not to give him a hard time.
Okay, I told you.
I said, great, you told me.
Not, hey, would you lay off him?
She just said, okay.
He told me to tell you, so I told you.
Alright, fine.
And that was it.
Next time, I think we're on again, maybe once.
I just let him have it.
And there's something about when you're on TV, when you point at somebody and say, and you, Nobody does this.
Because on TV, they're very sociable.
They're very, you know, whatever it is.
They're very...
One time, years ago, there was a show called Talk New York or something.
It was in the New Yorker Hotel, which was owned by the Moonies.
And it always smelled like kimchi.
There's Koreans on it.
It's true.
And I was on with, this was years ago, with Lisa, her name, no, it's Lisa Evers, but she, well, yeah, Lisa Evers.
She was part of the Curtis and Lisa, you know, when they were that guardian angel.
Anyway, she's a very good friend.
So she was on, and I had my, so as we're about to start, I was lowering my, the lavalier, you know, little mic?
I'm lowering it.
And she looked at it and said, okay, I said, well, I'm a little loud.
Okay, that's why.
Because I wanted it right near this.
And right before I could hear in her IFB the countdown, I said, see, what's the matter?
I said, I don't know.
I said, I don't know if it's the coffee or the lights.
Fifteen.
You okay?
I said, yeah, I'm okay.
I just don't know what it is.
But I guess I'll be okay.
Anyway.
She says, thank you.
My guest today...
And she looked at me.
She, by the way, was reported to have it be a black belt in karate.
And she looked at me and she said, I like this look of a couple of times.
Pardon me.
But you know, crime.
And I went in.
I didn't overdo it, but just a couple of times.
And I could hear in her phone, is that him?
Who is it?
Was that you?
Who is it?
So as they go to break, the camera backs up.
So I can look.
And you can't see.
And we're talking.
And she said, I'm going to kill you.
This must have been 30. I did a show in that building, in a place, every weekend with Vladimir Posner.
I don't know what it was called.
I have no idea.
I loved him.
Why I was on it, I couldn't tell you.
But I loved it.
It was every Saturday for a while.
Vladimir Posner, you know, the Russian, I think he's just brilliant.
And to this day, and I always forget to tell people that, it was this great show, and I was like a regular guest, and I don't know what it was.
I don't know what it was called.
I don't know what the hell I'm talking about with Russia.
I have no idea.
But it was good.
You know, it was one of those things where in morning in Tampa City, my friend Bill Murphy had a show on Channel 10. Kind of this morning, kind of a ha, ha, ha.
And They had a...
It was so bad.
I couldn't win a more...
A.M. Tampa something Bayer.
And they had this...
I guess it was a...
It wasn't really a beauty palette, but it was like a fashion show.
And these poor girls would come on and they'd model stuff like that.
What is it?
Like Robinson's.
We had to think of Robinson's, you know, like a department store.
So I told Bill, I said, Bill, what the hell am I doing here?
What is this?
What is a fashion show?
What is a...
What is this?
What is this?
And he was laughing, but I was serious.
And one girl came on and she had a clear plastic, you could see through it, a purse that was clear plastic.
I said, who the hell would want to do that?
Think about that.
If you carry condoms or a flask, whatever it was, or some kind of rectal litch cream, everybody's going to see it.
So anyway, it's going on, and he's looking at me like, you can't do this.
This is 10 o 'clock in the morning.
I said, I don't give a damn what time it is.
I'm going to tell you to do it now.
Anyway.
I did this, of course.
I think they were going to have a heart attack.
Because this was, even then, considered to be, oh my god.
Oh my god.
My friend Ted Webb and Carol Suttler did a show.
He used to do a show called the FLA Lounge.
And then it was, oh no, it was on Tampa Bay.
It was this.
I think it was the FLA Lounge or something.
We went on one time dressed as two women.
It was just old ladies who were disgusting.
These identical twin sisters that were just disgusting.
We were horrible.
But they had on Ted Webb and a real doctor.
He was a lower GI kind of...
Colonoscopies and endoscopes or whatever.
So they took Ted's arm right here and they put they put this tube into his arm and it looked this is before we really knew what colonoscopies looked like.
It was wild and Ted had this the original machine that Jack Martin had that Leslie Nielsen showed him and Ted bought the company.
Bought every one of these Well, he couldn't do this, but he needed a machine.
So Ted would sit there.
His name was Ronaldo D. And they didn't know.
And there was this doctor.
And Ted has this condition where he cannot stop flatulating.
And by the way, this was local public access stuff.
Remember that show you told me you had to go on that time?
I just forgot it.
It was the one over here.
Remember that talk?
Huh?
MSN Network.
Mrs. L said, you should do this.
I said, what are you talking about?
It was a show.
I still don't know.
It was here in New York.
Another one, I went to Brooklyn and we were sitting there and told this woman, I don't believe in global warming.
I thought she was going to have a heart attack.
Anyway, I don't know why I'm telling you all this.
I don't know why I'm telling you.
You know why?
Because I think these things are funny.
Because I don't take this seriously.
I take it.
Tomorrow we'll do the 100 days and all this stuff.
But I love to watch, please watch on YouTube, public access with the Dominicans and the Puerto Ricans because they hate each other.
This poor guy is screaming, they're yelling, there's no delay, F-bombs and that sort of thing.
And also, if you get a chance to hear Billy Bob Thornton doing Carl Childers from Sling Blade, And they take the answers.
Mm-hmm.
I don't kill Doyle Harbill or whatever.
Man should lay down with a man.
You know, that kind of thing.
And he's calling people Jiffy Lubes or whatever, and they're playing Sling Blade.
Absolutely one of the funniest things.
So you're asking yourself, what does this matter?
What am I talking about?
I don't know.
What does this have to do with anything?
What does this have to do with 100 days and Trump?
I don't know.
Your topic is Trump dominates America.
Dems panic.
Yeah.
What does this have to do with that?
Nothing.
Sue me.
All right, my friends.
We've had enough.
It's 55 minutes.
I've charmed you with my stories.
You love my stories.
Just like you love my walkabouts.
PD's is Don Rickles, yes.
Pilgrim, Big Dick, thank you.
Cut Up Chatter, Raul.
Fred Haddad Jr., bless your heart, 10 memberships.
Raul, thank you.
Charlie Calais says, did he plans to plead insane?
Well, no.
I didn't hear that because that's not going to happen, but thank you, my friends.
All right, dear folks.
Remember, check out Mrs. L at Lens Warriors.
We'll see you tomorrow at the usual time.
Same bat time, same bat channel.
Until then, my friends, remember what I'm telling you right now.
This is very, very simple.
This is the valedictory, the sayonara, the monkey's dead.
The show's over.
See ya.
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