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When Disaster Strikes
00:15:43
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| I'm here. | |
| You know you're going to see the Obamas in Splitsville pretty soon, if it hasn't already happened. | |
| I mean, you know that's been one of the strangest combos of all time. | |
| Now, before you get all upset about this, let me remind you of a couple of things. | |
| First and foremost, you and I don't know anything. | |
| We're standing outside of a stadium, hearing the crowd, hearing the roar, and we're trying to guess the score. | |
| That's what we're doing. | |
| That's what we do. | |
| We don't really know anything about anything. | |
| But we are adults. | |
| I have been around, see, so have you. | |
| I've seen things and met people and have, from showbiz to legal to prosecuting to you name it. | |
| And nothing really shocks me. | |
| And that couple, those two in particular, have always been, and they always had the cover of racist. | |
| See, if ever you ask anything, if ever you said, hey, I think that's BS. | |
| Ah, you're a racist. | |
| Okay, okay. | |
| By the way, that story doesn't even make any sense anymore. | |
| But let me tell you what I think. | |
| In fact, I've got a new one for you. | |
| This is what you say. | |
| When you have a feeling about something that you really have no basis to believe, but you want to opine nonetheless, and so you say, this is what I think. | |
| Okay. | |
| This may sound kind of crazy, but let me say it anyway. | |
| What you do is you say, you know, I wouldn't be surprised if... | |
| And that gets you off the hook. | |
| You know, I wouldn't be surprised. | |
| You know, it wouldn't surprise me if... | |
| So, let me give you my list of... | |
| It wouldn't surprise me. | |
| But first, let me tell you a couple of things. | |
| I don't hate the Obamas. | |
| I never did. | |
| I think that we will never know the truth behind Barack Obama. | |
| He was recruited out of nowhere. | |
| I don't know if he's a CIA asset. | |
| Everybody comes up. | |
| I don't know. | |
| But all I know is he was picked and selected. | |
| And we know nothing about him. | |
| I think he went to Columbia. | |
| I'm not sure. | |
| I think he went to this. | |
| Maybe he went to Harvard. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Maybe. | |
| Nobody remembers him. | |
| Nobody knows him. | |
| Okay, fine. | |
| Whatever. | |
| Whatever. | |
| He marries Michelle. | |
| Okay. | |
| I've heard all kinds of stories. | |
| Remember the story about he had a girlfriend? | |
| I've heard other stories about... | |
| Would it surprise me if he was on the other team? | |
| Of course not. | |
| I live in New York City. | |
| What are you talking about? | |
| Nothing surprised me. | |
| I gave up being surprised. | |
| But that doesn't even matter. | |
| Because when you're at that rarefied... | |
| And you know there are folks in politics who are gay. | |
| Some open, some not. | |
| And the ones who are not are obvious. | |
| Which I never really understood. | |
| Being openly gay. | |
| Seeming gay. | |
| And there is something to be said for that. | |
| And not admitting it is like wearing a toupee, a bad one, and thinking that somehow people are believing this story. | |
| I don't know what to tell you. | |
| But as far as that guy goes, his background, his mother, who's his father? | |
| Is it that commie, radical, whatever his name was, or is it the father Obama and his mother? | |
| Remember these stories about his mother? | |
| She was some bee actress. | |
| I don't, you know... | |
| You never heard this about anybody else. | |
| Even, let's face it, even Bill Clinton, who came from a kind of a trailer park, you know, white trash background, still, you knew, there he was. | |
| We never saw anything about Obama, Michelle, were they married? | |
| Was she pregnant? | |
| Now let me get something right off the bat. | |
| Let me just say something. | |
| Right off the bat. | |
| I have absolutely no reason to believe, nor should you, that she is a man. | |
| Okay? | |
| I don't know where this stuff comes from. | |
| And I don't want to hear about Joan Rivers said this and then they came out. | |
| There's more to the Joan Rivers story than that. | |
| I have no... | |
| I think it's where these things come from. | |
| It's the Richard Gere story. | |
| You remember that one? | |
| Where did that come from? | |
| But people swear by it. | |
| We also live in a world today that sometimes the meme is more important than the truth. | |
| The meme is more interesting. | |
| The meme is more fascinating. | |
| The meme is more interesting. | |
| Do you understand this? | |
| The meme is what's interesting. | |
| People love this. | |
| Big Mike and all these references. | |
| Now, could that be? | |
| Again, anything could be. | |
| But should you put your money on it? | |
| Nah. | |
| I've never had any... | |
| I've never had this... | |
| There's this... | |
| I'm not going to say it, but there's an expression, hard on. | |
| I never had a hard on for her. | |
| She's never been this focus of my derision. | |
| I was the one who, by the way, said, good for you. | |
| She at least tried to get people to eat right. | |
| I think she's a woman who wants to be Oprah. | |
| I think she's a person who wants to be attractive. | |
| And I don't think she is. | |
| And I think she knows, and everybody else is, and she's done everything on her part with her guns and this and that. | |
| But what am I? | |
| Listen to me, you know, maybe Eisenhower was no looker either. | |
| What difference does that make? | |
| So I don't have any beef. | |
| All these puns. | |
| But I know people don't like her. | |
| And they don't like her because, first of all, she's a phony. | |
| Because there's really nothing there. | |
| She herself, many, many people believe, is the... | |
| She is the beneficiary of DEI, before it was DEI, and quote, as an affirmative action, and this allegedly putatively racist either thesis or dissertation against white people. | |
| I don't know. | |
| I don't know. | |
| That's not the issue. | |
| But you know and I know, from the get-go, There's something weird about these folks. | |
| I don't know where they came from. | |
| I don't know where she came from. | |
| I don't know where they met. | |
| I don't know who they met. | |
| There are these kids or these kids. | |
| I don't know whose kids. | |
| Whatever, whatever. | |
| Anything you tell me about those, I would say, could be. | |
| You couldn't say that about George W. Bush. | |
| Bill Clinton, though. | |
| Different story. | |
| You know, you always hear things. | |
| And when you hear things, before you, you don't need Snopes or one of those, but before you hear things. | |
| I remember years ago somebody said, you know, Chelsea Clinton looks a lot like Webb Hubble. | |
| Yeah, you're right. | |
| What does that mean? | |
| Could it be? | |
| Sure it could be. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| Just like Major Hewitt and Harry. | |
| With Diana? | |
| Come on. | |
| You don't need to be Mendel to see that one. | |
| You don't need to do a Punnett square. | |
| You don't need to go into Mendelian genetics. | |
| How about Prince Andrew and Porchy? | |
| Lord Porchester, our little miracle. | |
| This is going on. | |
| Look, you know and I know. | |
| But back to the story here. | |
| Everybody now says they're going to get a divorce. | |
| They would be the only couple, the only divorced couple. | |
| They would be the only President and First Lady to get a divorce after he was elected. | |
| There were some before. | |
| You know, Ronald Reagan and Trump. | |
| But that wouldn't surprise me at all. | |
| Here's what I think. | |
| Here's what wouldn't surprise me. | |
| It wouldn't surprise me if they have absolutely no marriage whatsoever. | |
| That this was some kind of a Potemkin village. | |
| This was some kind of a... | |
| Pretend thing, arranged, orchestrated, whatever. | |
| Everything that you tell me wouldn't surprise me. | |
| I think she has said, I've had enough of this. | |
| That's why when people suggested she was going to run for president, you're kidding me. | |
| She wants to be Oprah. | |
| She wants to be loved. | |
| And to be sexy. | |
| And for you to care about her workouts. | |
| She wants to be loved. | |
| She's been in the shadow of this guy. | |
| She's done her duty for two terms. | |
| I don't think they have anything. | |
| I swear to God. | |
| I mean, what do I know? | |
| And again, I don't care who you are. | |
| I don't care who you are. | |
| We're just outsiders. | |
| We're just civilians looking in. | |
| We don't know anything about it. | |
| It wouldn't surprise me at all. | |
| It wouldn't surprise me if they just say, look, now, what I would suggest is don't get a divorce. | |
| You don't need to get a divorce. | |
| Why get a divorce? | |
| Why? | |
| What do you want to do? | |
| What do you want to do? | |
| Get married? | |
| Unless you want to get married? | |
| Unless you want to announce something? | |
| Unless you want to, you know, unless you're going to come clean, so to speak? | |
| No. | |
| Why? | |
| Nobody cares. | |
| Tipper Gore. | |
| Remember Tipper and Al Gore? | |
| I think they're divorced. | |
| Anybody care? | |
| No! | |
| Bill and Hillary. | |
| They're about as married as a... | |
| I mean, it's like a corporation or something. | |
| It's like the Clinton Foundation. | |
| It's a legally fictitious entity that doesn't really account for anything. | |
| This is the way it works there. | |
| This is the way it works. | |
| But these two, as... | |
| Absolutely as phony and as... | |
| Look, it was very, very good. | |
| Barack Obama was a great... | |
| His cachet is over. | |
| His political equity is through. | |
| I mean, he has absolutely... | |
| He has lost everything. | |
| Everybody said he was the deal-maker, the deal-breaker. | |
| No, he wasn't. | |
| Not even close. | |
| He wasn't anything. | |
| Nothing like you believe. | |
| Nothing. | |
| Everything he did. | |
| He wasn't a broker. | |
| He couldn't deliver anything. | |
| The Democratic Party is. | |
| And if you ever get the chance, please read some of the excerpts from a book. | |
| One of the books, or the book, I don't know, that Michelle wrote. | |
| Wrote about, kind of like these truisms. | |
| These no duh, no shite. | |
| Obviousness, these apathems, aphorisms, bromides, chestnuts, these philosophies. | |
| I mean, seek the power to resist feelings of impending or imagined failure. | |
| Only you can fail by stopping the pursuit of, you know, that kind of stuff. | |
| Kind of like Jordan Peterson and all that stuff. | |
| People are desperately in need of that. | |
| She is nowhere near the Gamala Harris level. | |
| That thing was just, that was Logoria. | |
| That was Psychobabble Logoria. | |
| Michelle's a little bit different. | |
| She's smarter. | |
| But she wants so hard. | |
| So hard. | |
| Another pun. | |
| She wants to be taken seriously. | |
| To be loved. | |
| To be admired. | |
| She loves that. | |
| People say, well, she's got her mansions. | |
| Look, she did okay. | |
| She did her duty. | |
| She did two tours as the, you know, titular wife and mother and whatever. | |
| By the way, credit should go to her mother, who I understand was a fabulous, I don't believe she passed, I don't know, but was a fabulous woman who was at the White House watching those two kids. | |
| So, that's that. | |
| But I wouldn't be surprised at all if they divorced. | |
| But my advice is you don't have to. | |
| You don't have to. | |
| You live in a world today where you can do whatever you want. | |
| You can do whatever you want. | |
| What are you going to get a divorce for? | |
| Why? | |
| To get married? | |
| You want to get married? | |
| You? | |
| You're 60, whatever you want. | |
| You want to get married? | |
| Why? | |
| You don't need to get married. | |
| You don't want to get married? | |
| No! | |
| From tax point of view, do you want to announce something? | |
| I don't know. | |
| Nothing would surprise me. | |
| I mean, that would be a reason. | |
| If you're smart, you want to keep them guessing. | |
| You want to make them always wonder, are they together, are they not, whatever. | |
| Bill and Hillary have had nothing to do with each other. | |
| Remember the story with Bill and the Ever Ready... | |
|
Nothing Special, Yet Motivated
00:02:15
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| The rabbit or whatever this was, where Bill, they said, would be hanging around at the library in Little Rock or whatever. | |
| Hillary was walking around with her oven mitt, moo-moos, drinking boxed wine. | |
| I mean, these two have had nothing. | |
| This was... | |
| And Hillary sat out two terms with Bill, two terms with Barack, had that stupid Senate piece, and then ran for Secretary of State and then lost. | |
| She's just done. | |
| So they're going to stay together. | |
| Because each one, you know, provides cover for the other. | |
| But as far as Barack Obama, you'll never know the truth. | |
| You'll never know the truth about them, him, where he was from, the real story, the proven story. | |
| That dog is hung because he has traversed the level right now of being into a political obliviousness. | |
| We don't even care. | |
| That's how bad it is. | |
| We don't even care. | |
| She's not showing up to Jimmy Carter's funeral, not even showing up to the inauguration. | |
| Come on. | |
| What petty tripe this is. | |
| But that's who she is. | |
| She's not who you think you are, Miss Cool, Miss Elegant. | |
| When you, you know, they say after a few drinks, you can tell with somebody's leg. | |
| You know, you can see the shoes come off. | |
| The voice, the F-bombs. | |
| Same thing with when you're out of public eye. | |
| You kind of see what you're really about. | |
| You see what really motivates you. | |
| And both of these folks, nothing special. | |
| I don't think they're bad people. | |
| Nothing special. | |
| He in particular. | |
| Central casting. | |
| Created out of nothing. | |
| He's almost artificial intelligence procured. | |
| Both of them. | |
| So, Are they going to split? | |
| They probably have already. | |
| My advice? | |
| Don't. | |
| No need to. | |
| No need to. | |
| Because in your case, being married is a better cover. | |
| I'll just leave it at that. | |
| You know what else I found out? | |
| 87% of the people who watch my videos don't subscribe. | |
| That's disgusting. | |
| So do me a favor. | |
| Put this channel into the HOV lane and subscribe, my friend. | |