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Nov. 11, 2024 - Lionel Nation

01:19:02

Here's Why Neocons and Shadow Government Conspirateers Are Freaking Out Over Trump's Landslide

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	Dear friend, I'm probably like you.
	Well, maybe not.
	But I spent the day going through.
	I'm immersed.
	Today was a contemplative day.
	Very overcast.
	Supposed to rain about 3 in the morning.
	It's kind of chilly out there.
	It's about 58, but it's cold.
	So I was watching and just, again, being immersed in what I'm seeing.
	And I can only explain this to you because they're making a big deal over Nothing.
	The title of tonight's disquisition is, Here's Why Neocons and Shadow Government Conspirateers Are Freaking Out Over Trump's Landslide.
	They don't know what to do.
	That's number one.
	But number two, what's interesting to note is that people in the world of CNN and others, they're going out of their way to find new ways to explain.
	What do you think happened?
	What happened?
	Well, was it because of the racism?
	Well, do you think it's time for us to look at ourselves?
	And people like Donna Brazile and Michael Douglas, who was, you know, put on some event with his wife, $100,000, they're asking, you know, maybe we should look at this.
	Maybe we should say, what are you talking about?
	It's simple.
	He was great.
	And she sucked.
	Thank you.
	Have a nice night.
	That's it.
	They like him.
	It's not that, well, we did.
	No, no, no.
	They like him.
	If she had, you know, upped her game, the level of victory might have been different.
	Maybe it wouldn't be such a, this catastrophic.
	This deluge, this annihilation, maybe not there.
	But what we're talking about is something completely different.
	He's great.
	People love him.
	They don't understand.
	They can't get it through their head.
	He's like our, maybe Reagan or something, or...
	Yeah, but do they like him?
	What do you mean, do they like him?
	Jimmy Carter was a wonderful man.
	Christian man.
	Good man.
	Kind of like a Mr. Rogers.
	Kind of like a preacher.
	He was a terrible president!
	Did people say, well, I'm going to vote him in, but I like him so much.
	They're just clawing at some reason to try to find why their person lost because two things.
	She sucked.
	He was great.
	It's like going up against the 24th Was it the 27 Yankees?
	To have a Pop Warner team up against Gehrig?
	Yeah, they're great, but it was no team.
	So my friends, get ready tonight.
	We're going to have a slew of fun.
	Oh my God, are we going to have fun?
	I'm so glad to be here.
	Make sure that you are signed in and subscribed to Lionel Nation, which is so critical.
	But my friends...
	It's important that you listen very carefully to this word from our sponsor.
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	I spent, as I said today, and still looking at a number of vectors, if you will.
	One is, of course, political analysis, but also the role of social media in able to catalog the way we think.
	Sparky weighs in.
	Listen very carefully to Sparky.
	Sparky says Trump rightfully dismissed the idea of Pompeo and Haley serving in his next administration, but he needs to get shed of Brian Hook lest he populate the State Department with Pompeo and Haley clones.
	Could not say it better.
	I don't know if he knows what you're talking about.
	Crypto says, I just paused the Atwood show exactly.
	Where Jaguar is all too innocently looks in desperation.
	Tragic again.
	Did you check Sheriff Grady?
	Yes, I did.
	Sheriff Grady from Operation Skin So Soft.
	I did that as well, yes.
	I was just on the Sean Atwood show with...
	Oh my God, it was incredible.
	And that, I'm going to be playing that.
	That's going to be dropping later tonight, my friends.
	By nine-ish.
	I've got that in the hopper, as it were.
	Head of hopper.
	Make sure you sign up.
	Be a member of Lionel Nation, folks.
	You get these things.
	In fact, it's available now for you if you want to see it.
	But 9 o 'clock is when the world sees it.
	I have friends of mine and family and friends and people who are younger.
	You know, it's funny.
	I talk to somebody who's 35 years old.
	I look at them as a kid.
	But we're having this connection.
	And I never understood it.
	We have a friend, and I don't think I would be able to explain to her the election, but she understands it now through TikTok.
	I guess she's 30 years old, but the point is, people aren't reading magazines, newspapers, they're not watching stuff.
	TikTok in this tells you everything.
	Let me give you an example of something.
	Listen to me very, very quickly, in no particular order.
	Let's watch some of this.
	And just revel with me.
	Just revel with me, okay?
	This has nothing to do with Trump, but I came across this.
	Recently, Mrs. Alva, she took umbrage at me, I bet.
	She gave me that look.
	You know, the look.
	We have a friend who did one of those DNA tests.
	And I said, you know, when you say that you found out, I'm part Norwegian, and I say, well, yeah.
	You see, there's also, if you go back far enough, you're African.
	I said, but you just gave them license to your genetic information.
	And they looked at me like, because I'm, of course, I'm Mr. Crazy.
	You know, I'm Mr. Crazy.
	Conspiracy!
	I sent this to her today.
	And listen to how beautiful this is.
	This is just perfect.
	I got my results back from the blood sample I sent in to one of those DNA sites.
	Ready?
	I am 32% German, 68% Swiss.
	That's so strange.
	You know, I did that too.
	I sent my spit in to one of those websites and it turns out I'm 16% Irish and 18% Hungarian and the rest is Italian.
	That's neat!
	I did it and I found out, guys, I found out I'm 75% French.
	I don't even speak French.
	You're following my mind!
	You're following my mind!
	What about you, Charlotte?
	Oh, I sent mine in and I found out that I'm, let's see here, 92% dumbass.
	for sending a DNA sample to a random website that now has full copyright and unregulated access to my genetic code for the rest of time.
	Thank you.
	And like 8% Spanish.
	I love.
	I love.
	That's so sweet.
	That's so Spanish.
	Tapas!
	Mallorca.
	It's dangerous, though, like what we're doing.
	Salamanca.
	Salamanca.
	That's a nice word.
	You don't care that they can copyright.
	Croquette.
	Is that a small print?
	That is one of the best.
	That is so good.
	Great acting.
	Thank you.
	You all got it.
	You understand it.
	That's why I love you.
	Because you understand it.
	I don't have to explain this to you.
	Because you're crazy.
	It's just...
	It's incredible.
	Wait a minute.
	Hang on.
	Got a weather bug.
	You can tell you're getting elderly when you're into the weather.
	Because I want to see this.
	You should see what's going on in Jersey.
	Oh, the fires.
	The fires.
	Horrible.
	Yep, it's going to rain.
	It's going to be raining.
	Yeah, up until 8 o 'clock tomorrow.
	But it's very true.
	We're seeing right around Montclair and Pompton Lakes.
	Anyway, you don't care about that.
	And frankly, I don't blame you.
	What do you care?
	What do you care?
	Freedom says...
	Maga, man, back in the saddle, is like enjoying a delicious thick T-bone steak and a cold one to wash it down.
	You can have that experience too, liberals.
	Just let go of your insanity.
	Very, very good.
	Stephen Lynch says, you're right, I was one of the first and regret it.
	That's right.
	Listen, but that's okay.
	You know now, though.
	You know now.
	You know now.
	Remember, do you learn something?
	Normally people don't think this.
	Now watch this.
	This is one of the things that gets people's attention.
	If you talk to young people and they say, have you noticed all these crazy people sitting in their car and screaming?
	And they'll say, no.
	You see how crazy that is?
	And they'll say, well, yeah.
	You don't think that's crazy?
	I think it's crazy, but you don't think that's crazy?
	Yeah, okay.
	What about this?
	No, no, no, no!
	Why, why, why?
	Why, why, why?
	Do you really hate me that bad?
	Why, why?
	Isn't that absolutely delicious?
	Isn't that...
	When you make it to that realm, you're fine.
	All of this is available.
	This explains it.
	And somebody sees this.
	The genius that are out there.
	The great editors.
	The people who are putting together memes.
	It's just brilliant.
	By the way, all of this can be seen in my...
	I have the link there.
	They get the credit.
	But it's Lionel Media.
	Let me tell you another one, too.
	This is where...
	Uh-oh.
	Crypto says, ha ha ha!
	I was rocking.
	Oh, absolutely, my friend.
	You're a headbanger.
	This is another one that makes me feel, yes.
	Yes.
	I've watched this.
	A million and a half times.
	Or compilations thereof.
	Too close to call.
	And now we have a projection to make in Wisconsin.
	Yes, we can.
	We can call.
	NBC News projecting that Wisconsin was won by Donald Trump.
	And therefore, as you see on your screen, we are now projecting that the next president of the United States is Donald Trump.
	As we look now at what we...
	Have Pennsylvania.
	Is this a call, ladies and gentlemen?
	We are now projecting that Donald J. Trump will win the state of Pennsylvania.
	Former President Donald J. Trump will win the state of Pennsylvania, and thereby, he is on his way to becoming the 47th President of the United States.
	We'll be right back.
	Isn't that something?
	Thank you, TikTok.
	Thank you.
	This is what people are putting together.
	Don't you just love watching?
	Don't you love this?
	I could watch that forever.
	I could watch it absolutely forever.
	Now, do me a favor.
	I want you to imagine this, okay?
	Okay.
	There is a challenge.
	This is a hypothetical.
	This is a thought experiment.
	There's a challenge.
	Elon Musk has offered a half a billion dollars to help orphan kids find a cure for whatever it is.
	It's a cause that will guarantee free children from whatever it is.
	And all you have to do is not laugh when I show you this.
	Okay?
	This is the thought experiment.
	Imagine.
	Kids are looking at you and they're saying, this should be easy.
	I'm saying, hand on my kids.
	Your charity gets the money provided this fella here or fella or gal doesn't laugh.
	Okay?
	Now that's you.
	Just remember this.
	You are watching this and you are not to laugh.
	Okay?
	Dear convicted felon of the United States of America, I just have but one message for you.
	As a trans woman, as a human being, and as a true American, there is nothing you can do, nothing you can say, no law you can put into place that will stop me from being who I am, what I am, or where I want to go.
	Nothing you will do will stop me from being a woman.
	Don't like it?
	Leave.
	And for the rest of you who voted for a convicted felon, same goes for you.
	I go where I please.
	I use the women's restroom, I use the women's locker rooms, and I will continue to do so.
	Whether you like it or not, stay mad because you just voted for a convicted felon who ain't gonna do shit.
	Okay, let me tell you a couple of things here.
	Number one, this gentleman said that he went to locker rooms.
	Now, locker rooms normally are associated with and a part of athletic facilities and the like.
	Something tells me he has never been to a locker room since the Johnson administration.
	Andrew Johnson.
	Evan Webb says, saw an interview you did posted nine years ago.
	It was one of you with your guitar.
	You have not changed.
	Golden fines.
	Excellent.
	Thank you.
	Now, here's another one too.
	My friends, we have enjoyed our new brothers and sisters of the gay persuasion.
	I have met the most, online, the most rational, wonderful, liberty-loving, good patriots of all sorts, online, and they are...
	I never knew this.
	I just assumed, maybe you did too, I just thought, well, these are all lefties, right?
	They're all lefties, and they're all...
	And they didn't, they didn't just, they didn't become this because of Gay Mala.
	They were like this the whole time.
	Which, of course, the polls did not pick up.
	Watch this.
	I saw a post that proves Trump's homophobia.
	And I hate to say the left was right again.
	It's literally only been three days, and they've proven me wrong twice already.
	Trump set to ban gender operations for minors in all 50 U.S. states and vows only to recognize male and female as the two genders.
	Absolutely insane.
	Why do they think this is homophobic?
	As a gay, I completely fucking agree with this.
	Leave the kids alone.
	When I was a kid, I wanted to be a fucking cat.
	I wanted to be a cat.
	I dressed like a boy.
	I still dress like a boy.
	I am a proud gay woman who likes other gay women, specifically my wife.
	So the left, since you're here, spare me your bullshit.
	You know what?
	Thank God I grew up in the 90s, or else I would be a fucking botched boy right now.
	When all I want to do is be a woman who loves other women.
	This is not transphobia.
	This is not genderphobia.
	Get the fuck over it.
	Welcome to America.
	Welcome to anti-woke America.
	We're not doing this bullshit anymore.
	And I will be the fucking spokes lesbian of this fucking campaign.
	I'm sorry.
	I hope you don't mind that.
	It's true.
	It's absolutely true.
	Crypto Domini, who is a lesbian, says, kind of laughed as he said he isn't going to do anything.
	Okay, I know.
	You're wondering, what is the point of this?
	I know you're saying, what do you think you're doing?
	What are you accomplishing?
	You're in a Barker lounger in a house and you're saying, I'm not going to leave.
	I'm not going to leave.
	I'm going to be a woman.
	I don't care if you're a carrot.
	It doesn't matter.
	Who are these people?
	Now you want to see something?
	You're going to see President Biden, he's still president, in this picture, struggling with sand.
	You heard me.
	Sand.
	By the way, check out the security in the back.
	Check out the ninjas.
	They're almost on watch.
	He pulls out his binoculars.
	Watch.
	Look at this.
	Look at the goodbye.
	Jill's walking.
	No problem.
	Jill's walking.
	She's great.
	This poor guy, he's all over the business.
	He's playing.
	Somebody's laughing at this.
	Somebody's watching.
	She's doing okay.
	Is this sad or what?
	But he did it to them.
	Mr. President, what are you going to say to Trump on Wednesday?
	I'm going to follow that.
	I'm going to follow that.
	Mr. President, what are you going to talk with Trump on Wednesday?
	There's a box.
	There's a box with a latch on it.
	I don't know what to do.
	Let me tell you something.
	Tell me you saw the one Twitter clip or whatever that I put from today.
	Tell me you saw that.
	Were they on the phone with the AI?
	Oh my God.
	Tell me you saw that.
	It's incredible.
	It's incredible.
	I'm not going to try to find it.
	Go on my Twitter channel.
	Let me see.
	Kind of laughed as he said.
	He said, oh, you're going to do anything?
	Thank you for that.
	Evan says, she looks and sounds like my daughter.
	I don't know who.
	Not that thing.
	Whatever that man was.
	I hope you're not talking about that.
	Has the judge in Trump's criminal case actually made a finding of guilt yet?
	No.
	No.
	So technically he is not a formal finding of guilt, adjudication of guilt?
	No.
	I mean, it's for practical purposes, but listen, the whole thing could be suspended in futuro.
	Isn't it something?
	Now, this is the one that is going to break your heart.
	It is so beautiful.
	You know, there's a whole thing called Ring Camera TV.
	All the stuff on Ring Cameras and the clarity.
	People coming up and like the homeowners association lunatic or the crazy neighbor or the guy who comes up and says, your wife's fooling around.
	Ring Camera TV.
	It makes the dash cam pale.
	Watch this.
	Trick or treat night.
	these boys and listen very carefully to what they're saying because they're Trump people so they're cool Trump's gonna win okay don't ring it quick don't do that Trump's gonna win Trump.
	Trump retreat.
	I hate Kamala Harris.
	I hate Kamala Harris.
	He picked one more.
	What the hell?
	Isn't that beautiful?
	Tell me that's not...
	Is it still going on?
	Tell me that is not...
	Beautiful.
	That was legit.
	That was not staged.
	What he's talking.
	People are so camera, you know, savvy.
	There's no shyness.
	Oh, is there any camera?
	I can talk into my phone.
	I'll talk into your doorknob.
	I think that was wonderful.
	Kids are so smart.
	You're right about that epics.
	Look at this.
	Someone writes, lesbians are mean to Karens.
	I didn't think that one was mean.
	I like that lesbian.
	I like the fact that she called herself lesbian and not non-binary.
	Now, I disagree.
	I'm sure there are some.
	Now, listen to this dude.
	This is the guy.
	Let's watch this very carefully.
	Let's make sure we pay close attention.
	This is going to be...
	The 2028 nominee.
	This is Gavin Newsom.
	Watch this.
	Calling and have called for an emergency special session.
	Now, I've got to tell you right up.
	Stop.
	I hate to do this.
	If you don't have the smart to get a mic, there's no need.
	If somebody in your team hasn't said, Mr. Governor, we're going to give you a little USB, a little blue Yeti, or maybe one of those little lavalier things, you need...
	A microphone.
	You're not going to be in this cavernous sound.
	You need a microphone.
	All right, listen carefully.
	Let's go back, because he's trying to take over now.
	Watch.
	We are calling and have called for an emergency special session of our state legislature, firmly focused on the values we hold dear, that I think are universal values, that are American values, as it relates to freedoms and individual liberty.
	as it relates to the issues of reproductive freedom in particular, as it relates to the freedom to breathe clean air and drink clean water in an What does this have to do with Trump?
	Oh, you know what that means.
	We're not going to shrink and we're not going to shy.
	We're going to have their back.
	We're going to have your back.
	Even if you don't live in the state of California, we're going to have your back.
	What does that mean?
	He's setting himself for 2028.
	He has removed himself from Kemala.
	He is establishing himself as he says, I'm going to run this anti-Trump thing.
	Barry and Michelle are gone.
	They're through.
	They are despised.
	You are not going to hear from Kamala at all.
	Nothing.
	She doesn't exist.
	Do you hear what I'm saying?
	She doesn't exist.
	Tampon Timmy's through.
	He's done.
	They're already doing this, repeating this rhetoric.
	And Trump is going to ignore him.
	And you're going to do the same thing.
	I show you this to let you know this is what's coming.
	This is not CNN.
	This is what they're planning on doing.
	Okay, my friend, stand by for one second.
	I want to tell you, I don't want this moment to go by without you talking about my folks at preparewithlinel.com.
	Let me tell you what I did before.
	Just before I did this.
	I went on to look at, I'm looking at my, looking at my stuff, and preparewithlionel.com, you know, we talk about food.
	Food is wonderful.
	You've got to have the food.
	They've got Christmas sales coming up.
	They've got things you can't believe.
	They've got Beyond Outdoor Meals, nine-pack samplers, Franklin Finance, all specials now.
	Coffee, fruit, veggie, and snack mix.
	In this, if you want to go veggie, vegan, whatever it is.
	Alexa Pure water systems.
	Inferno Pro outdoor biomass stoves.
	100-hour candles.
	Tactical backpack with ballistic panel.
	Think about that.
	Wireless solar power bank charger.
	Shovels.
	Survival Seed Vault, Heirloom Seeds, Alexa Pure Waters, Biomass Ovens, Survival Spring Personal Water Filters, 4-in-1 Emergency Solar Flashlights, Pota Bag, one of those leather pouches for water, Pocket Plasma Lighters, Rechargeable Headlights, What am I trying to say?
	Those headlamps, like miners wear.
	Bear and mountain lion attack deterrent.
	USB emergency lanterns.
	It goes on.
	Listen, God bless you.
	You want to go someplace else?
	You want to pick up some banana chips?
	You go ahead.
	But for the serious folks who say we've got everything covered, no matter what, that's just...
	Part of it.
	With Christmas deals left and right, go to preparewithlionel.com.
	I am telling you, it's like nothing you can imagine.
	Preparewithlionel.com.
	I just love the fact that people thought about all this stuff.
	Okay?
	Okay, you're smart.
	You know what to do.
	Now, hang on a second.
	Let me catch up with you.
	Hang on a minute.
	Let me see.
	Just a minute.
	Okay, Edie says, the best thing since Art Linkletter.
	Indeed.
	Remember that?
	Kids say the darndest things.
	Stephen Lynch said, new scum ready to alienate 40% of California.
	Exactly.
	Stephen, they don't learn.
	They don't learn.
	They don't learn.
	Thank God they don't learn.
	Cryptodominy says, what's trying to make the new economy non-binary?
	Well, nobody is.
	And nobody's talking about CD, Big Dick from Chi-Town.
	Nobody's talking about anything involving...
	What am I trying to say?
	Abortion.
	That one, they've just...
	They've lost me.
	Trump's never said anything about that.
	What about IVF?
	Mandatory.
	Mandatory coverage.
	Our good friend CutUpChatter says Karen's neither mean nor interested in the manager.
	These are not Karen's.
	Karens are busybodies.
	Karens are women who are either mean, obstreperous, contumacious.
	Sparky, by the way, says, did one of those DNA profiles and found out I had a half-sister.
	Dad's girlfriend, six years before he married mom, moved away before she knew she was pregnant.
	Dad never knew he had seven kids instead of six.
	That is wild.
	That is wild.
	You know, it's funny, I had a, years ago, I'll never forget this.
	Oh my god, I was at, and there's a good friend, I met Nuscom, sorry, no problem.
	I was at a place years ago in Tamil called Jimmy Max on, I guess it's Armenia, it was a Howard, anyway, it was a great burger, just old house, great, great.
	Always wonderful.
	Jimmy Maxx.
	Parking under the...
	It was a great place.
	Anywho.
	Respectfully disagree.
	Shapiro will be nominated in 28. Nope.
	Absolutely not.
	Nope.
	Not after what's going on now.
	Sorry.
	In any event.
	So my friend, he comes in and he's...
	I haven't seen him.
	He's since passed away.
	But I came in and he tells the bartender, give me this.
	And he like pounds it.
	I said, whoa, whoa, hey, take it easy.
	He said, well, let me tell you about my day.
	He was a criminal lawyer.
	Woman comes in, girl, young girl, very attractive.
	He, you know, says, may I talk to you?
	He says, yes, of course.
	Have a seat.
	She has a book under her arm.
	He didn't recognize what the book was.
	He says, did you go to such and such high school?
	He said, yeah.
	Did you graduate in?
	Such and such.
	He says, yeah.
	She has two post-it notes.
	She opens it up.
	She says, is this you?
	He said, yeah, that's me, all right.
	Do you remember this woman, this girl?
	He said, oh, yeah.
	He said, that's my mom.
	Oh, and you're my dad.
	And he, she says, wait, wait, wait.
	I'm not asking for anything.
	I'm not asking for any money.
	I'm not asking for any.
	Child support.
	My mom said, it's up to me to meet you.
	They hadn't talked.
	But I just had to meet you.
	I had to see what my father looked like.
	And it was, you could see.
	And she says, I just want to know you.
	It was the most beautiful thing.
	He says, well, okay.
	So they went to Tampa Bay Mall, which is no longer there.
	And he told me, I'll never forget, he says, Do you know what Jordache jeans, how much these are?
	How do you know what to buy?
	I bought her jeans.
	So what you're saying, Sparky, is that you have these people who will say, we put our child up for adoption because I thought I wanted to, assume this happens, I wanted the child to live.
	We didn't want an abortion.
	And I wanted them to assure me that I would never have to meet if I met the child.
	For whatever reason, this was a condition.
	I don't want the child to meet me, and I don't want to know the child.
	Okay, fine.
	In the old days, that was it.
	They sealed their records, and that was it.
	Now today, those records are still there.
	But by virtue of this genetic, this genealogical kind of, you know, detective work, you find out that there is somebody you never knew about.
	Forget the fact that you're, you know, it's Italian or whatever it is.
	Let me say another one, which is very interesting.
	They're going back, and this is wonderful.
	You've seen about cold cases.
	They go back and they find a rape kit or something.
	There's a DNA sample or something that they're going to be looking at for the first time that they haven't done in years.
	And then all of a sudden, they find out that they find something.
	They say, let's test this.
	So they do it.
	And they find...
	Because if they look at all the data, all the data, all of the millions and millions, sometimes mandatory DNA banks, sometimes voluntary, sometimes somebody will do this, and you can supposedly check off Anton Chekhov.
	You can check off whether you can have your sample put into this juridical...
	Mass or whatever it is.
	So they will find there was this rape kit from 50 years ago.
	Whatever.
	They run it through and they say this part of this sequencing matches here.
	Here.
	In this area.
	In Minnesota.
	Here.
	So they say, okay.
	And then they start looking and they say, we can eventually move it down.
	And eliminate by virtue of this one had a daughter, this couldn't be it.
	And they'll say, wait a minute, we think we know.
	It's either this person or this person.
	But we need a sample from them.
	A sample to take to compare against the DNA from 50 years ago.
	But we need a fresh sample of this person.
	So they wait.
	They wait for him to smoke a cigarette and flick the...
	Cigarette away.
	Or to drink from a cup.
	To touch something.
	Maybe they can somehow get a hair sample.
	And that's how they do it.
	Any DNA information?
	Any problem?
	Any Fourth Amendment consideration?
	Anything?
	Anything?
	Does he have any privacy?
	Can he claim any privacy?
	Absolutely not.
	First of all, you discarded that item.
	And your information is on it.
	Just like you being in a...
	There was a case one time, I think it was a Dodgers game, where somebody was there and used the crowd scene as an alibi.
	Sometimes people use easy pass as an alibi.
	Well, this is the reverse.
	The implications of this are fascinating, but what's interesting is that you're going to find people knocking on your door who say, I am so-and-so.
	And what happens if years and years and years have gone by?
	Are you guys 50 years old?
	Are you going to do retroactive child support?
	I mean, who knows about this?
	But it is fascinating.
	Imagine what you do.
	What do you do?
	What do you do?
	I'll tell you one story from me, which isn't like this, but a true story.
	When I was in the seventh grade, I went from one school and changed.
	I went from Sacred Heart to St. Lawrence.
	My parents didn't.
	It doesn't matter what.
	But I went, and I missed the confirmation.
	They were on their way to being confirmed, and I missed it when I went to this new school.
	They had already been confirmed.
	You know the confirmation.
	My mother wanted Me to be confirmed.
	Okay.
	No problem.
	Whatever.
	What do I care?
	I was like a freshman in high school.
	So I went to this class and I got confirmed.
	Alright.
	My name, Thomas.
	After Thomas Aquinas.
	So my parents got me this bike.
	It was a Yellow Schwinn Varsity.
	Thrifty Bike Store.
	Southdale, maybe.
	It was like $120.
	It was a lot!
	Yellow, canary, yellow, Schwinn, beautiful.
	And I was in high school and...
	Okay.
	Wasn't driving it.
	That was my bike.
	One morning, when I went outside on the back porch, the back gate was open.
	I said, oh my god.
	Because we had a dog then.
	I said, it's a dog here?
	Dog's not going to leave.
	Thanks for barking.
	What happened?
	I looked.
	The bike's gone.
	Gone.
	So I was, what, 14 maybe?
	14?
	I wasn't driving.
	15 maybe?
	I wasn't driving.
	So between 14 and 15, something like that.
	Okay.
	Years later, in college, in, no, yes.
	Yes, in college.
	So four years later, five years later, I get a knock at the door.
	I'm all by myself.
	My parents are talking to the door.
	This guy's standing there.
	And he's like this.
	Now, we had this this coroner that I thought, is somebody around?
	Is somebody around, you know, the coroner?
	Is he going to jump me?
	And I, of course, was really working out, you know, that that that gym rat thing.
	And I thought, come on, buddy, just, you know.
	So he says, excuse me.
	Have you.
	Have you lived here for the past five years?
	This guy looked nervous.
	I said, yeah.
	I've always lived here my whole life.
	I said, yeah, but have you lived here the last five years?
	I said, I just told you.
	He was really nervous.
	He said, did you used to have a yellow Schwinn varsity?
	I said, yeah.
	He said, it was stolen, right?
	I said, yeah.
	He said, I stole it.
	Now, you know, you think that you can come back with something, you can react.
	I was just, I can't talk.
	He said, I was whacked out of my mind on drugs.
	He said, I saw you driving.
	I was just stealing everything, and I saw you writing it, and I saw where you brought it into the back, and I'm sorry and everything, but...
	I'm trying to remember.
	I didn't steal a lot, but this I remembered.
	And he said, and I went to this place, happened to be, because there weren't a lot of Schwinn dealers, happened to be, he says, and now it's whatever the appreciated price was.
	He says, I went to this church.
	They told me that they will forgive me, God, Jesus, whatever, will forgive me if, if you forgive me and if I pay you back.
	And I've worked.
	I swear to God this is true.
	I swear to God.
	So he said, I've been working and so do you want a new bike or the money?
	I said, well, I'm not really riding a bike anymore.
	He says, okay.
	So he gave me, I think it was like $120.
	I think that was the price.
	In any event.
	And he says, do you forgive me?
	And he looked just for a second and I swear to God.
	You know what my response was?
	Mr. Glib?
	Mr. Genius?
	Mr. Smart?
	I said, I'm sorry!
	What am I sorry about?
	Across the street, at that time, was a police car.
	We never had police cars.
	Wouldn't it be funny?
	Come here, pal.
	Statute of limitations.
	Anyway, he said...
	I don't remember the guy's name.
	I'm not writing anything down.
	He said, do you forgive me?
	I said, yes.
	And he looked so relieved.
	And he left and I was like...
	I called...
	I called my father.
	Nobody's there.
	We had no cell phones.
	I walked around like, I cannot believe this happened.
	I can't believe...
	So I did this class called Advanced Expository Writing.
	Got an A in it.
	And the teacher, whatever, the professor said, this is supposed to be non-fiction.
	I said, I swear to God, I'll never forget that.
	So what does it mean?
	I don't know.
	But it's one of the weird stories.
	I'm sorry about that.
	I wanted to let you know.
	I want to share that with you.
	I want to share that with you.
	Please, I'm sharing it with you.
	Let me see this.
	Cut up says, Lionel, I am Karen.
	My name means pure.
	Ah, yes!
	Karen, that's right.
	Well, thank you very much, Karen.
	And we will exclude you from the evil Karens.
	Stephen Lynch is apparently common amongst airline employees.
	Interesting.
	Did you see my super chat regarding RFJ?
	Maybe I missed you reading it.
	I'm sorry.
	Pardon me.
	Let me...
	Let me go back.
	Hang on a minute.
	Let me go back.
	I'm so sorry.
	Here we go.
	RFK Jr. was accused of being anti-Semitic when he suggested that some countries might create diseases bespoke for specific DNA profiles.
	He was absolutely correct.
	It's the most ridiculous thing in the world.
	He was up at the Upper East Side.
	There's Tony DiNapoli.
	Italian restaurant, he was in the back, and he said this supposedly off the record, Chatham House rules, and somebody violated it.
	There's nothing at all bizarre about that.
	Uncle Lenny, are you suggesting legislation with the DNA nuances?
	Not sure.
	Not sure with the DNA, what the legislation could possibly be.
	Seven yellow schwins.
	It sounds like the 12 days of Christmas.
	A lot that's going on here, I'm so sorry, between the bike story, between this, between Bobby Kennedy, between DNA.
	Bobby Kennedy Jr., turn him loose on this.
	Don't stop.
	Now, I want you to hear this one, this next one.
	This is from the, this is the ex-Vice Presidential Communications Director.
	I don't know as the candidate, this is Gamala's old communications director.
	Listen to this nonsense and ask yourself, why did she pick...
	First of all, imagine being communications director of that woman.
	Watch.
	That is my question.
	I'll start with you.
	Joe Biden's been a phenomenal president.
	He's lived up to so many of the promises he's made.
	First of all, this guy is so full of it.
	This guy, all his life has been caught.
	That he is glib.
	He has been told that he believes that he is glib and that he's smart and that he's above the...
	He thinks he is so cool.
	Now watch up at the top.
	I think his name is Jennings.
	This is that white fella at the top in the middle.
	This is that great congressman.
	Watch him start laughing.
	He's holding back.
	But Mr. Glib here, Jamal.
	Something.
	Was the communications director.
	Okay.
	Joe Biden's been a phenomenal president.
	He's lived up to so many of the promises he's made.
	There's one promise left that he could fulfill, being a transitional figure.
	He could resign the presidency in the next 30 days, make Kamala Harris the president of the United States.
	He would absolve him from being able to have to oversee the genuine...
	See the laughing?
	Look at the top.
	Look, he is loving this.
	Even the lady to...
	In the red, she's thinking, like, okay, let's see where you're going with this.
	The very sixth transition, right, of her own defeat.
	And it would make sure that it would dominate the news at a point where Democrats have to learn drama and transparency and doing things that the public would want to see is the time.
	This is the moment for us to change the entire perspective of how Democrats operate.
	Okay, this has now jumped from an internet meme to a Sunday morning show.
	Jamal's out here right now.
	Congratulations.
	Season of House of Cards.
	I thought you were going to say, what about the Supreme Court?
	That's also out there.
	Well, the Supreme Court might happen.
	What do you think about that?
	Linda says, great story.
	Thank you, Linda.
	What do you think about that?
	That make sense to you?
	Does that make sense to you?
	Because they don't want her to have to...
	To agree to her.
	Al Gore handled it.
	Al Gore did it.
	It's no big deal.
	This was a guy who says, because you know he thinks he is so good.
	You know he thinks, Jamal thinks, I am so good at this.
	Okay, one more.
	One more, and this is the one that I'm going to, I absolutely love this one, and you're going to love this too.
	Do you find mask holes problematic?
	People who love to wear a mask.
	Do you?
	Do you?
	Let me get this first.
	Freedom says, remember our army man playing in the dirt?
	Yep.
	Dad's homemade cranked ice cream.
	Playing hide and seek with the kids on my block.
	No violence, no stealing those.
	Those are the best of times, Lionel.
	You rock.
	They were.
	They were wonderful.
	Playing with those little green, you get a bag of those, and you would do all that, and you would just pretend.
	I had G.I. Joes.
	Absolutely.
	Well, watch this.
	Dig this.
	The easiest.
	Now, look at this.
	She looks like something.
	Now, before we begin, I'm sorry, I've got to point this out to you, because I watched this.
	She has something caught in her mouth.
	Corn kernel or something in her mouth.
	And she didn't clear.
	It's like sometimes I'll get stuff.
	I'm sorry.
	I hate to do that.
	But this is throughout the whole thing.
	This thing she's trying to chew.
	It's stuck between her teeth.
	Listen to her suggestion.
	The easiest and most effective form of protest you have right now.
	See it?
	What is this?
	That you can start immediately.
	How about floss?
	Put a mask back on.
	Put a mask back on.
	Okay.
	Stop letting them observe your face.
	Stop letting them observe your face.
	And have the side benefit of better health.
	And have this side, this woman who's got some meleed in her mouth, better health, wearing a mask will improve your health.
	And protecting the rest of us in the world.
	Look at this, she's still doing it.
	What if the hell's her mouth?
	Protecting us from what?
	What are you protecting me from?
	You're not sick.
	What is this?
	Put a mask back on.
	Why?
	And first of all, what's in your mouth?
	The hell with a mask.
	Just do me a favor.
	What is this?
	Did you have the decency of just waiting?
	Or is this information so great that you had to eat even though you got some piece of kale or whatever stuck?
	Fuck this government.
	Easiest?
	What?
	Who are these people?
	Imagine that.
	Beatrice?
	Yeah, this is your mother.
	Beatrice, honey, somebody called me and showed me something.
	Was that you on that there TikTok?
	Was that you, honey?
	Yeah.
	Did you do that?
	Yeah.
	First of all, what did you have in your mouth?
	What were you chewing in your mouth?
	What was that all about in your mouth?
	Honey, have you lost your mind?
	What are you talking about?
	Wear a mask to be healthy?
	What are you talking about?
	So we can hide your face?
	Are you drinking?
	This is your mother talking.
	Are you drinking?
	I got bored people calling me up and saying, I saw Beatrice.
	No, that's not her.
	But you had to do a goddamn close-up.
	Was that you on there?
	What's the matter with you?
	What did that even mean?
	What was that in your mouth?
	Oh, were you chewing on something that was disgusting?
	I don't know, what made me more sick?
	What are you talking about?
	Why would a mask that makes you re-breathe your carbon dioxide, thus leading to some form of hyperventilation ultimately, why would that be?
	You're not sick.
	This is demented.
	Demented.
	This is where we are today.
	And have been.
	You can't make this up.
	I love this.
	Now, are these people important?
	No.
	Do we mock them?
	Yes.
	Do we mock them because they're crazy?
	Yes.
	Are we mocking the mentally ill?
	Yes.
	Are we taking too much glee?
	Yes.
	Yes, we are.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	We are doing this.
	Yes, we are laughing at these people because they are out of their mind.
	And it is something which is so wonderful.
	And here is the best thing I want you to understand.
	Listen carefully.
	We don't care what they do.
	We don't care what anybody says.
	I only show you the CNN stuff, not to make you worry about it, but just to make you laugh.
	Laugh with me.
	Just laugh.
	It is beyond lunacy.
	But I want you to understand something.
	We did it.
	We did it.
	Sparky says, DNA is how I found out my paternal line having a large organized crime gang covering all 12, 13 if you count Delaware, British colonies.
	They were horse thieves and highwaymen.
	And in a weird way, isn't that interesting?
	You sound like that, that Gates fellow from Harvard.
	I had someone do our, remember when that genealogy thing was so big?
	And I was so uninterested in it.
	I could not believe it.
	On my mother's side, it was, I swear to God, it was Irish, German, and the Irish went to England, and it was really, I mean, they had this, had this one, had this.
	I mean, you could go on forever.
	It really sounded good.
	It was, I think, German, but Irish, and it was wonderful.
	Oh, my God.
	On my father's side, it was like nothing.
	It was weird because my, I don't know, I don't know what they were.
	I think we have the, I think we have the, Kind of like the family tree of a Brussels sprout.
	It's very, very interesting.
	And they change names, and then my grandfather changed the name.
	It's a long story.
	But here's the best part.
	I don't have any interest.
	Oh, Frederick Worthington came over in 1700.
	That's my great, great, great, great.
	What the hell do I care?
	What does that mean?
	I don't know.
	Is it important?
	I guess.
	It means nothing to me.
	It means nothing.
	Let me see another one too.
	A friend of mine showed me something.
	He said, we went to some place, I forget what.
	We went to some European country, I forget what.
	And none of the pictures remotely interested me.
	And I kept thinking to myself, how was the traffic getting there?
	Yeah.
	How long was the flight?
	Yeah.
	How long do you have to wait at the airport?
	Yeah.
	Can you get around, okay?
	I think of the logistics, because the first thing I'm thinking of is, okay, here we are.
	We're in Barcelona.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Here we are.
	We're in Barcelona.
	Yes!
	Barcelona.
	You want to go to a cathedral?
	Why not?
	That's it, all right.
	Yep.
	Want to eat?
	Sure.
	Let's eat.
	Great.
	What time is it?
	You want to go to a museum?
	Okay.
	A museum is severe like this.
	I mean, you can look at some, but after a while, is something wrong with me?
	Who agrees with me?
	Is there anyone here?
	Tell me I'm not wrong.
	Is there anyone here who says, I really don't, I mean, I think it'd be nice.
	If I could snap my fingers and somebody says, oh, I'm in London.
	That's great.
	But I'm going to fly there?
	And then when we go there, we've got to go to the airport, we've got to go to Heathrow, we've got to get the luggage, and then we've got to go over there and check in so we can say, yep, this is it, all right.
	Yep.
	Piccadilly Circus, here we are.
	Yep.
	Oh, there's that big circus.
	Oh, there's Parliament.
	Uh-huh.
	Just like I saw it.
	I'm sorry.
	Good night, sir.
	Maga, baby all the way.
	Time for dinner.
	See you on the flip side, sir.
	Enjoy your night with your wife.
	Thank you, my friend.
	What a nice person.
	Sparky says, Ben Franklin wrote about our gang in the Pennsylvania Gazette.
	I like to think they were like Robin Hood and his merry men, but unfortunately they were mean like that gang in Breaking Bad.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	I had, on both my mother's side, And my father's side, bootleggers.
	I've got a picture of my own.
	This is going to be tough to show you this one.
	This, I can't take it.
	It's on the wall.
	On my mother's side, my great-grandfather was a St. Louis, I think it was a police department.
	He was a cop.
	Bootlegger.
	And my great-grandmother, they had this big car in the back, a back seat, and they would, the seats were configured so they'd have all these jars and whatever it was, and my great-grandmother had this big, big dress, and my grandmother and her brother, uncle, They were in the backseat.
	They were kids.
	In the case of the police officer, they couldn't buy people off.
	You would think they would.
	But they would be doing rum runs and that kind of thing.
	That was on that side.
	The other side, in Tampa, it was kind of a rough and tumble place.
	Ybor City, kind of rough.
	There were three guys.
	They would bootleg, but they would get the stuff from Cuba.
	They would go to Cuba all the time.
	And they hid the rum or whatever it was in these straw containers underground and there was a call that they were going to raid it.
	So they had to move, I guess, the product in this underground vault or whatever it was.
	Something happened.
	I don't know what it was.
	A gas line broke.
	Somebody told me there's something about the...
	Corks would sometimes expand.
	When it mixed with the straw, I don't know.
	But something noxious and poisonous, something was produced by virtue of something.
	So the first guy goes down, he never comes back.
	The second of the trio goes down to check and see if he's okay.
	He doesn't come back.
	My grandmother's brother, the only boy, Among five Sicilian sisters.
	He wanted to find out.
	He goes down and they found him trying to carry his friends up a ladder and they all died.
	And they wouldn't be buried together because the other ones were from more of a refined family.
	And this guy was rough and tumble.
	He, by the way, was very interesting.
	My grandfather, my father's father, was notorious for it.
	He did stuff that was just stupid.
	He would buy things.
	So he bought this lemon.
	And he bought this, it was a Model T or something.
	This is how long ago it was.
	And my grandmother, his brother, my grandfather's wife, was very upset.
	Because he didn't have a lot of money, and my uncle said, I will take care of this.
	I will get you your money back.
	So he went to this place, and he said, my name is such and such.
	He sold my brother-in-law, Ed Lemon.
	Ask around who I am.
	I'll be back.
	And he came back at the allotted time, and the money was there.
	No problem.
	He apparently did some inquiry and said, it would be a good idea not to do this.
	Okay.
	My uncle, my great-great-winter uncle, he went to his car, got those big gas, like a rat patrol, these gas canisters.
	Went and poured gas all over this car, lit it.
	He says, now you won't be able to do that to somebody else.
	Of course, nothing happened.
	He also one time was hijacked with my other, my grandmother's sister's husband.
	His name was Louie.
	And Louie and he were hijacked.
	They were in the backseat of some, you know, those kind of like Model T kind of deals.
	And they blindfolded him.
	And my uncle, whose name was Dominic, he said, say something.
	Let me hear you so I can kill you.
	And my uncle Louie said, what are you doing?
	So he said, you don't understand.
	You better kill me now.
	And Louie would tell the story, because if I find out who you are, I'm going to kill you.
	And so Louie said, we have no negotiating position here.
	What are you doing?
	Oh, nobody killed him, obviously.
	This was Ybor City.
	Bolida.
	And I heard about this.
	Oh, my God.
	Your Uncle Dominic.
	Dominic.
	Oh my God.
	Oh my God.
	They talked about him.
	And I never knew him, but I've got his portrait.
	Anyway.
	Cut to the chase.
	Years later, there was a guy in Tampa, a little cigar shop on Armenia.
	And I walked in there, and there was this man.
	His name was Maniscalco.
	It was this empty...
	There was no noise.
	I mean, no radio, nothing.
	There he was at his bench.
	He had been a cigar maker his whole life.
	From the time he was a kid to the...
	And he just did this and made the most exquisite cigars.
	And I came in and talked to him.
	One day somebody came in and said they wanted to sell him a digital scale.
	I thought it was wonderful.
	He said, this is a digital scale because you know you have to use so much of the wrapper and the filler and this way you can insure.
	And he looks at me and he says, give me a number.
	Give me a amount.
	Put your scale here.
	Give me an amount.
	Three tenths of an ounce, half an ounce, an ounce, five, whatever he goes.
	He knew what each filler was.
	So whatever the particular quantity was, he had this loose leaf.
	So he picks it up and goes like that and puts it on the scale.
	Boom!
	He says, give me a tough one.
	Just give me a number.
	Two and three.
	Boom.
	It was the most amazing thing I ever saw.
	Okay.
	As we're talking, this guy leaves the digital scale.
	I'm talking to this guy, Maniscalco.
	And he says, where are you from?
	I said, I'm here.
	My family is this, so-and-so.
	My grandpa, yeah, Ybor City.
	Yeah, Ybor City.
	And my so-and-so.
	Well, somehow I got to my uncle, Uncle Nick.
	And he said, wait a minute.
	Is he so-and-so?
	He said, that was my best friend.
	So he said, we used to go to whorehouses in Cuba.
	I said, wait a minute, what?
	So I said, he goes, tell me stories.
	Oh, yeah.
	He said, because Tampa would send these things.
	Oh, he said, oh, he was a wild man.
	Now, I was in college at the time.
	I loved this.
	And I came home, and I'm telling everybody stories about this Uncle Nick, and nobody knew this, and...
	I'm telling stories about whorehouses, and my father said, if you don't mind.
	No, it's the best part about Cuba, and this and that, and they went back and forth.
	And it was this weird, kind of a strange...
	To me, I thought, it may not mean much to you, but in terms of serendipity, I just happened to walk in one day, and there just happened to be this guy, and he happens, and lo and behold, he's the best friend of this person I've been hearing my whole life, these stories kind of embellished.
	And I asked him, I said, I don't know if there, was he really that way?
	He said, oh yeah.
	And told me much more things I can't tell you now.
	Oh, I love that.
	I love that.
	I found out one time, this is really, I shouldn't tell you that, but somehow there was somebody in the family who was a little daft.
	So I was doing something, we were probating a will, and I went back and I got a death certificate.
	It turns out that her husband, or one of her husbands, died, and I'm looking at the first, looking at the cause of death, and in order of importance, it's a tertiary syphilis.
	I came home and said, I understand!
	And my father was like, would you please just spare us this?
	I said, but aren't you interested in the truth?
	He goes, no.
	Not really.
	I don't want to hear the truth.
	Yeah, but don't you understand Uncle Nick with the whore?
	Yeah, yeah, I know.
	No, no, no.
	Don't, don't, don't.
	Please.
	I like truth.
	Now, if Gates did my family tree, I have no provenance.
	I have no, we have no, I've got one friend of mine, one of my best pals for years, social register.
	Oh my.
	Mayflower.
	He's got it.
	I mean, he really.
	I told myself, what difference does that make?
	Me and Sparky.
	Sparky's got a bunch of highwaymen, crooks, robbers, and thieves.
	Gypsies, tramps, and thieves.
	And every night, they put their money down.
	Gypsies, tramps, and thieves.
	All right.
	That's all.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	Look at this.
	I have a...
	I remember Zia Turida in Palermo.
	All these names.
	Rossano Rovello.
	How about names like Chichen Ita, Salikia, Susupina?
	We had like Ignacio was always Nanya.
	There was a million.
	And then Nanya was Nya.
	Then there was, we had an aunt named DeLong DeLong.
	And one day her name was, they called her Joannina, but anyway.
	And she said, I went to the doctor and I had the ringing, she had tinnitus, the ringing in my ear was like DeLong DeLong.
	She was trying to make a sound of a bell.
	So her name was DeLong DeLong.
	She never knew it.
	One day they're eating, she says, who is DeLong DeLong?
	This is after 50 years.
	He goes, you!
	These are not the smartest people in the world.
	Oh, Giuseppe, Joe, is Pino.
	Anyway, we had Carmela.
	This was Carmela.
	This is my one aunt, Carmela.
	She looked like this.
	Her eye, somebody put a waist like a basset.
	It was Carmela.
	We had Pepina, who was Josephine, Pepina.
	Carmelina, with Tia Pepina.
	Tia Melina, not Carmelina.
	We would chop that up.
	Rose.
	Rose was Louis' wife.
	Rose talked like this.
	It's the best imitation anybody's ever done.
	I could do Rose better than anybody.
	Louis.
	Great.
	Sundays, screaming and yelling.
	And you know, at the time, if I had, and there are pictures somewhere, and it's my memories that matter.
	Not the pictures.
	The pictures mean nothing.
	It's the memories.
	Look at this.
	Rosano's got Enzo.
	And you also have, there's, look at this, like a basset hound.
	It's true.
	Anyway, my friends.
	I like Italian sausage.
	Thank you, Jack Handy, ladies and gentlemen.
	I like Italian sausage.
	Oh, Sunday dinners.
	Absolutely.
	Absolutely.
	Sunday dinners were...
	There was something...
	And at the time, because as a kid, you're thinking, oh, God.
	And little did I know at the time that I would be missing this.
	That I would look back and say, this is the wildest.
	Everybody talking at the same time.
	It's wonderful.
	Everybody says this.
	Everybody says this.
	Everybody, you know.
	Anyway.
	We have a Melania Magama.
	We love Melania.
	Good for you, Toliker.
	Good for you, my friend.
	Let me see.
	I probably missed someone here.
	Sparky said, did they use those cool speedboats with those World War I Liberty...
	Aircraft engines.
	That I do not know.
	That I do not know.
	Again, there's nothing at all interesting, but as a kid, and I don't know about you, but when I would go to my aunts or uncles or whatever house, I would always love to walk around and just look in things, look in closets.
	It was weird.
	They just had...
	My one aunt had an old ringer, like the washing machine, where you would put the clothes in to hang it up.
	She had all this equipment in there.
	They were all cigar makers.
	My grandfather had these half moons and the blocks.
	I just loved that.
	Old bikes, the smell of old.
	You know, my aunts, they would have all kinds of facial hair.
	You know, and they would say, kiss your cat.
	Oh, we had one.
	Her name was, ready for this?
	Nanarane.
	Nanarane.
	Nanarane was, kiss Nanarane.
	She's like, you gotta be kidding me.
	She had like this wire.
	This wire.
	I don't know what it was.
	It was like a mole with this, but it was like a hair, but it was a wire.
	And you were a kid.
	This is like a death mask for a fright wig or fright mask.
	This is horrible.
	Tell you the worst one ever.
	We had a wonderful, a wonderful relative.
	And she, I think she had a mastectomy.
	I think they took one, her breasts off.
	And she didn't really wear a bra.
	I didn't know why she would, but it kind of shifted.
	I remember as a kid, it shifted.
	So she'd walk around with this thing, you know, with like this headlight there.
	And I kept thinking.
	And nobody told me.
	And finally I said, you know, I noticed something.
	Not that I'm looking at her, but I said, yes, it's true.
	Had another aunt who wore stockings but never shaved her legs.
	So the hair was matted.
	It looked almost like a mask you would wear.
	You know, for like a robbery.
	And I was just mesmerized.
	It's like, why don't you just, don't you see that?
	Hair in this, but it wasn't like a high price stocking.
	It was like this bad polyester.
	Wonderful times.
	And the black, the black dress and the chignon at the back.
	Sparky says, one of my aunts didn't know her real first name.
	Until she saw her birth certificate.
	When she applied for a passport in her 40s, she's always been called by a nickname and didn't know it.
	I love that stuff.
	Stephen Lynch says, conservatives move to California, let's flip it.
	Well, we will see what happens next time.
	Wait a minute, Evan Webb says, Evan says, when I was a kid, I asked what happened to my grandfather.
	Mom said, we don't speak of this.
	See, that would have been my thing.
	Oh, yeah.
	I had one relative when he was a kid that was hunting.
	This is a great story.
	And he lost his hand here.
	It was Tommy Lucas.
	He just basically had this and a thumb.
	This and a thumb.
	He blew his hand off.
	And he...
	Anytime I could see a picture of him, anytime I could see a picture, I was just fascinated.
	It's like, wow, they blew their hand off.
	Yeah.
	This guy, listen to this.
	They went to a...
	He was a bit eccentric.
	My one relative, where they lived, she lived in the woods, kind of.
	And the story was, I wasn't there, but everybody tells a story.
	He was asking, what's behind the woods?
	Nothing.
	There's a dune.
	So there's no houses back there?
	He says, no.
	And there's no people?
	He goes, no.
	There's nobody there from Miles.
	You sure?
	He goes, yeah.
	It's like, what is he asking this question for?
	All of a sudden, they're inside, and they hear this...
	And they're looking and thinking, what is that noise?
	And he's got, like, his aunt, his wife, Helen, He's doing this belt-fed.
	Like an M60.
	I don't know what it was.
	And he's shooting into this.
	And she's thinking, now I understand why I went to this cross-examination.
	And I can see some guy out there who's like saying, oh, he's a leaf collector.
	It's his bad day.
	He says, oh, look at this.
	Here's a maple sapling.
	I mean, they find him, you know, 50 caliber.
	This guy.
	I mean this.
	And I kept thinking about this.
	And I've always been the type that the joke to me marinates and is funny later as I'm thinking about this.
	Just the sound.
	I can just see that.
	What is that?
	Is it thunder?
	Sort of.
	It's Uncle So-and-so.
	Crypto says...
	Third generation Polish-Russian-German dad's parents' names were both revealed after their deceased grandpa, two separate other names.
	You people are like the most.
	All these other names and this is fascinating.
	Isn't that interesting?
	Maybe not to anybody else.
	I think anytime, put it this way, I think it's always great to have They're all gone now.
	You know, that's the thing.
	We don't really have any.
	There's nobody.

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