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Dirty Man Safes Protection
00:02:23
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| My three heroes of sorts, biblical or otherwise, my mythical, magical heroes of sorts are people that I think you will find interesting, that I think are interesting. | |
| Number one is Howard Beale from Network. | |
| You know? | |
| I'm mad as hell! | |
| The second is Barney Fife, because he was the precursor. | |
| He was the prescient, envatic, pythonic augury of kind of like RoboCop, because he was basically this kind of a demented... | |
|
Crazed Newscasters Predicting The Future
00:09:27
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| Crazed, lunatic, psycho cop ready to lose his mind with his single bullet. | |
| I love that. | |
| But also Ted Baxter. | |
| Ted Baxter was of course a mythical, but not so mythical, newscaster on the Mary Tyler Moore show. | |
| And he was the first person ever, ever, to suggest, to presage, to predict the Ron Burgundy Who came afterwards. | |
| Kind of a dumbass, dimwit, doltish, fool, rube of a newscaster, news announcer, news anchor. | |
| And what's so interesting right now is every now and then I will just... | |
| I'm watching TV cable less and less and less. | |
| And when I do, I will always think... | |
| Who are these people? | |
| What are they, 12? | |
| And of course, it's always a diverse look. | |
| It's got to be diverse! | |
| It's got to be diverse! | |
| The day you see two older white men on a... | |
| Forget it! | |
| Forget it! | |
| They could be Nobel laureates! | |
| And they won't do it because... | |
| Well, you know that routine. | |
| You know what. | |
| Look. | |
| DEI and all of its manifestations of... | |
| DEI is a nice way of saying kind of like a demented affirmative action where you just want to go for plug and play. | |
| Can we get somebody with a turban? | |
| You know, it doesn't really matter. | |
| How about, you know, do we have any Micronesians here? | |
| I got a checkpoint. | |
| Okay, that looks good. | |
| Now that looks diverse. | |
| What about the talent? | |
| Eh. | |
| Nobody is waiting until 6 o 'clock. | |
| Nobody is waiting until 6 o 'clock, especially to hear and to see local news and the like. | |
| And the only exception, the only exception might be Fox News, and even that has dropped. | |
| I mean, it's the only game in town, but even that has just absolutely plummeted in terms of its watchability. | |
| And why is that? | |
| I'll tell you why. | |
| I'm maybe your target market or your target demo, theoretically, because at least I come from a background where I've seen this before and it's somewhat recognizable. | |
| Nothing compares to the excitement, the interest, and the fascinating coverage of streaming platforms and streaming media. | |
| Look, It's just that simple. | |
| I can go down the list. | |
| I mean, I can just name them. | |
| And I watch, if I want to find out what's going on, it's kind of a bit of a niche kind of watching, so to speak. | |
| It's a little narrow casting to an extent, but that's fine. | |
| But the idea of somebody sitting around doing news, the weatherman, The local weatherman? | |
| What am I, Dave Garroway going to pop his head in any way to him? | |
| You know, J. Fred Muggs? | |
| Are you kidding? | |
| The weatherman? | |
| That's still one of my favorites. | |
| Because it goes back to a time when you really didn't know anything. | |
| I remember there was a time when I could call a number, a local number, on a phone to get the time of day. | |
| I don't even know why anybody would want to do that. | |
| Maybe it was sponsored by a bank, and they might throw in the weather. | |
| But at the time, I was like, hey, what about my watch? | |
| Forget it. | |
| Let's call the phone. | |
| Let's call the phone company. | |
| Do you remember the operator? | |
| Do you remember ladies who was a comedian one time who called up? | |
| If you dial zero, I don't even know what you get. | |
| That was then. | |
| Innovation. | |
| Change. | |
| It's different. | |
| I was explaining to somebody the other day that General Trump was on Lex Friedman. | |
| Lex Friedman's broadcast that not even 24 hours after had, I don't know, 4 million people. | |
| Who knows? | |
| More than the entire Fox News. | |
| I mean, that's the most overrated thing in the world. | |
| And by the way, that's going to the same people. | |
| These are young people. | |
| This is the most, this is the most. | |
| Demographically pluripotent group? | |
| You talk about diverse, young people, older people, educated, cool people, hipsters. | |
| Basically, Lex Friedman is saying, hey, this Trump's okay. | |
| This is a demographic you would have never been able to get into because if you talk about independent and undecided voters, that would be it. | |
| First, it's going on the Jesse Water Show? | |
| Oh, I'm sorry. | |
| You can watch it if you want. | |
| It's very successful. | |
| Roller derby was successful. | |
| A lot of things. | |
| Dialing for sports shirts was successful during this time. | |
| I'm not saying it's not successful, but successful doesn't make it good. | |
| And lower viewership doesn't make it bad. | |
| But I know that. | |
| And if you're watching this now, which of course you would be, how would you know I said that? | |
| You know this too. | |
| You recognize this. | |
| This is a brand new world. | |
| I think I was going to, maybe I said it, I forgot at this point. | |
| But I told somebody who's been in the news business, you know, Trump was on with Lex Friedman. | |
| Who? | |
| Who? | |
| Oh, Joe Rogan. | |
| Ah, that's not a show. | |
| No, that's not a show because it's not a couch. | |
| It's not a guy with a bad suit. | |
| Or some team is trying to be cute or she's trying to dance. | |
| This is over. | |
| And finally, traffic on local TV stations? | |
| Traffic? | |
| Do you have a TV in your car? | |
| If I find out that the Van Wick is backed up at JFK, I'm... | |
| Unless I'm there, and by the time I get there, it's already over. | |
| Not only that, there's 800 million places that you're not mentioning, but you're still doing it. | |
| And the reason why you did New Sports and Weather was to sponsor. | |
| To sponsor. | |
| Weather is brought to you by PC Richard. | |
| Weather is brought to you by this. | |
| Traffic is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. | |
| It was a way to sell something. | |
| They would have the wind. | |
| If they could, they would have... | |
| And now the wind... | |
| Let's go to the wind reporter. | |
| That's right, Dave. | |
| The wind's coming out of the southwest at about 5 to 6 miles per hour. | |
| This wind advisory was brought to you by Sears or whatever the hell it was. | |
| I mean, this is what it was. | |
| Nobody needed the wind. | |
| Sports might have been the only legitimate... | |
| Because it was interesting because you had a local guy and a local... | |
| And it was kind of interesting in the old days. | |
| Whether it was always a roly-poly kind of a, you know, that feller from the Today Show who was the original Clarabelle. | |
| I mean, this is just... | |
| It's done! | |
| It's done! | |
| But yet, you know what's still pretty good? | |
| Even though it's different and it's still innovative. | |
| And that's CBS Sunday Morning. | |
| That's good because at least... | |
| At least they have a story and they give it some time. | |
| By the way, have you ever watched that show? | |
| You know what they do? | |
| They repeat the question in a moronic, kind of a half-assed, narcotized tone. | |
| Like if somebody said, that's right Dave, I've been collecting motel keys for years. | |
| You've been collecting motel keys for years. | |
| That's... | |
| That's right, just like I said, motel keys. | |
| But now they don't really have, I don't really call them motel, but they have a little card and they're programmed. | |
| And now they have cards. | |
| Why are you talking like that? | |
| Why? | |
| Because it's stretching. | |
| And it's the best they can do. | |
| And it's, it's different if you can stomach it. | |
| But I guarantee you, If something big is going to happen, if something enormous or ginormous, it's not going to appear on the 6 o 'clock news on Channel 4. It's not going to happen. | |
| And it's not going to happen at 11 o 'clock or 11.30 after the news with Jimmy Kimmel or whoever these people are. | |
| That's over. | |
| If it's going to happen, it's going to happen immediately on X or Twitter or on YouTube or something. | |
| That's it! | |
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Please Hit The Bell
00:00:22
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| You know it, and I know that. | |
| But they don't know that. | |
| And that's why they are going to ride that Titanic into the deep because they just don't get it. | |
| All right, dear friends, you do get this. | |
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