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June 13, 2024 - Lionel Nation
01:25:21
When AreThey Finally Going to Tell Joe It's Over? (Enter Gavin Newsom)
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Good evening, dear and great friend, and welcome to this, the Wednesday evening version of this thing of ours.
I'm so glad, so thrilled, so happy you can be with us this eve.
You have no earthly idea of how I am beside myself.
I am frenetic.
I am without the ability to put into words the feelings that I have right now.
The exuberation, the exhilaration that I feel are non-pareil, off the charts.
My feeling, my joy is inexplicable.
My ability right now to explain to you, to explicate, is wanting.
That's because of my joy and happiness and how much it means to me for you and I to meet every day.
Along with the family, the members of the conspiratorium.
We've been together for years, haven't we?
We've been together for years.
God bless you one and all for being a part of this thing of ours.
And I'm so glad to be here today.
Today, I'm going to be speaking to you about a subject matter to show you how...
Manifestly fair I am.
To the point where nobody can possibly find anything that I say to be out of the realm of rational thinking.
That's one thing.
Everything I say, you may disagree with it in terms of the outcome, but my logic is impeccable.
It has nothing to do with party politics.
It has nothing to do with who's a Democrat and who's a conservative and who's Trump.
It's not it.
It's not it.
I've told you since the beginning.
I call it the way it is.
And I have no problem with it.
And I continue to do that today, my dear, great friend.
Please, before we begin, we're going to be talking about some things like Leah Thomas.
This Merrick Garland vote was a waste of time.
More on the Trump case, the Trump lunacy.
But the Leah Thomas case is so important and so it's missed.
It's missed the significance of it.
And I've got some incredible clips for you for your edification, perusal, and review that you'll just say, what?
That's what I want you to say, what?
But before we begin, dear friend, remember to do me a favor, please.
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My friend...
Where do I even begin?
Where do I begin to tell a story of how great a love can be?
Are you old enough to remember a love story?
Were you a part of that?
Do you remember a love story?
That was the biggest thing that anybody...
I mean, it was huge!
And I have one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard in my life.
Ever said.
One of the few things.
And one of them was, love means never having to say you're sorry.
I don't know where that came from.
I don't know whoever said that is a fool.
Not that there's a lot of reasons to say you're sorry, but no.
I understand the premise.
Don't get me wrong.
I kind of dig the premise.
But no, that's ridiculous.
Here's another one.
This is maybe my favorite.
My mother and I is a laugh at this one.
People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.
I have no earthly idea of what that means.
That is one of the most stupid things I've ever heard.
Here we go.
Joe Cocker.
You are so beautiful to me.
What?
To me.
To the rest of the world, you're a gargoyle.
But to me, in my demented mind, you're beautiful to me.
What?
I never, I never, I don't.
My friend has an expression I use all the time.
I still love.
I'm going to be as honest as I possibly can be.
I think that's one of the greatest.
Now, my friends, let us begin with something which is on my mind, which is no particular reason other than the fact that it is absolutely, empirically, 100% obvious before we get to this stuff, okay?
First, there are things that make us different.
Height, weight, age.
Maybe some physical characteristics.
Eyesight, you know?
I don't think I could ever be a fighter pilot for a variety of reasons, but I can't.
My eyes and maybe height, maybe weight, maybe a lot of things.
I don't know.
I can't be a topless go-go dancer using terms, again, from the 60s that nobody's ever used because I'm locked in that for a variety of reasons.
Difference.
We're different.
We are different.
Well, Leah Thomas annoys me for so many reasons.
To compete against women, this hulking, really big, I mean very Masculine in terms of size and swimmer.
Just clobbering women.
It was so manifestly unfair.
So profoundly unfair.
I can't get around it.
It kept me up at night.
It's not fair.
There are some things that make no difference at all.
A man or a woman is a doctor.
A man...
Or a woman.
Or a black versus a white versus an Asian in a position.
Doesn't matter.
There's no difference.
None.
If you can cut it, you can cut it.
And if a woman were ever able to, let's say, withstand and endure, let's say, SEAL training, SEAL team training, she should be able to do it as well, but they have not yet once.
There has not been one woman ever.
Ever.
Who could pass and endure.
And you might say, well, it's not very fair.
Nobody.
There just are some things, and I'm not even going to explain the obvious.
So there's a rule, this particular rule, this governing body, the water, whatever the hell it is.
And they have a very simple rule that was employed, I believe, after Leah Thomas started breaking records in the NCAA.
If you have ever Enjoyed a moment of puberty.
As a male, you're out.
That's it.
That's it.
If you have ever enjoyed a period, a moment, a moment, a moment as a male, puberty, you're out.
End of discussion.
Period.
Now the irony, The irony is that at my, I guess, moment I have been through, yes, I have, of puberty, at any point in my life, I could still be clobbered by women swimmers irrespective of my puberty.
So I think it's a little bit more than that.
The idea that women are the fairest sex is just, I mean, okay, maybe, sort of, okay.
Have you seen Marjorie Taylor Greene in the gym?
I'm going to mess with you.
I do.
So World Aquatic Convention, apparently, is the tribunal.
And this is the rule.
And it's very, very simple.
In a scientific document, which apparently backs up their ban on those who have, quote, quote, undergone any part of male puberty, you are absolutely, because you are deemed to retain.
Physical advantages.
That's why puberty blockers are so important for these people.
Puberty blockers.
Puberty blockers.
You understand what I'm saying?
That's why they want them.
So that you never even get near it.
So I can get you as a boy and fix it.
So you never even get near maleness.
See what I mean?
And here's the question.
Why?
I don't know.
Who are these people?
I don't know.
I don't believe there should be any discrimination against men and women or trans for anything where it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
You know Rachel Levine, the famous Rachel Levine, who was in Biden's...
Not Navy, but whatever that particular thing is called.
Rachel Levine.
She should be able to do it.
Absolutely.
Why not?
I don't care what she were.
It doesn't matter to me.
There's no reason.
She has a right to every...
I'm sorry.
Not this.
So finally, finally, some common sense came to play.
Some common sense finally, finally kicked in.
Finally!
And it only took I don't know what.
It just absolutely destroys me.
Now here's one you're going to love, this one.
You're going to love this one.
You're going to absolutely love this story.
Your blood is going to boil.
It is going to boil.
You are going to seethe.
You are going to seethe.
You are going to absolutely, positively seethe.
Okay?
Let me explain.
We had an instance this week where Kevin Spacey was feigning, crying.
Not crocodile tears, but acting tears.
He's a professional actor.
And it was one of the most stupid things I've ever seen in my life where he went on these various shows and basically called attention to the fact that he is just devoid of any reason to respect him whatsoever.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Okay.
So recently there was one where Rachel Maddow tried it as well.
She's not even close.
This is a woman who was trying to show her disgust as she lachrymated, waxed lachrymose, cried over the notion of these camps, these camps that President Trump would put people in.
And by the way, she even thinks that they're going to come after her or something.
I don't know why.
She's not worth it.
Nobody's coming after you.
You're going to what?
Throw her out of a what?
Throw her out of a window.
Defenestration?
I don't think so.
Rachel, it doesn't matter.
You're nothing.
You don't matter.
You're like, what, once a week?
You and John?
Yeah.
You and John Stewart doing something?
It doesn't matter.
You just comment.
Now, here is a woman who cares nothing about...
Let's watch this first.
Let me let you really...
By the way, if you're eating something or if you're driving pullover, lactating mothers and people with pacemakers should consult with their physicians.
This is going to make you heave.
You are going to wax emetic when you see this.
So, let's watch it.
And then I'll tell you what I think you should be paying attention to.
Okay, you ready?
Here she is.
Here she is.
The Ethel Barrymore of the MSDNC set.
See you again tomorrow.
Okay, good.
Now, here's a couple of things.
First of all, let's talk about children that don't make her cry.
Unaccompanied girls, unaccompanied children, people who come with strange men, cartel members, little girls who were just plucked out of somewhere, who show up and are turned over and forever lost in a country to be used, sold, butchered, God knows what.
Pursuant to a particular policy that her beloved Joe Biden has been instrumental in perpetuating.
She's not crying about that.
No, of course not.
Of course not.
No, she's not crying about that.
No, she's not crying about that.
Not interested in that.
How about the countless, countless, I don't know what, millions?
No, I don't want to bring up the abortion court, but we might as well do it.
Millions and millions of all kinds of babies, all kinds, at various stages of development, obliterated, destroyed via abortion.
Does that bother her?
No.
No.
Children who are involving, who find themselves in the throes of sexual predation and child trafficking, Via big tech lurings and the like.
Big tech that pretty much fund.
So don't even begin, Rachel, to pretend to do this because this idea of all of a sudden.
Remember the cages?
Remember the cages they talked about?
It was during the Obama administration.
We have been screaming about kids, unaccompanied little girls who were just lost.
Mrs. L has interviewed Jason Jones, who showed us pictures one time of little, these cartels have little colored bracelets that they wear on their wrist, and they're just style.
So don't give me this.
Don't give me this, okay?
You got that, Rachel?
You phony baloney.
Now I want to tell you something, next one, which will make you laugh and make you say, what?
What?
But there is a reporter that absolutely mesmerized me for a number of reasons.
Her pronunciation, her mouth, the way she's...
I've never heard...
I don't know what she's saying.
I'm listening to her.
I love and I'm fascinated by mouth, teeth, jaws.
I see people that walk with their mouth open.
Some people talk with their mouth closed.
Their tongue is hanging out.
That's got to be tough.
Your mouth gets dry.
I like people who clench their jaws when they...
I love any kind of what you would call an impediment or speaking style, from sibilance to lisping to stuttering, of which I'm familiar with, anything at all.
Speech, forms of speech, mouths, people who walk around smiling.
Have you ever seen people smiling by themselves?
For no particular reason, just smiling.
It's like, what are they smiling about?
This is the Odyssey.
Do you know something I don't know?
Okay.
This is a story about a woman who was drunk.
I think she teaches second grade.
And there's no law against her being drunk.
But before we get into the story, watch the pronunciation, the style of this.
She does a fine job, but this mesmerizes me.
Because this is almost like I would style a character in a TV or someone over this.
Speaking style.
Okay?
Let's watch this.
Are no criminal charges coming against that second grade teacher, but parents are concerned about what type of precedence this sets that teachers can be in the classroom while intoxicated.
It is not illegal to teach drunk.
This is the DA.
Shocking discovery.
After a months-long investigation into Sutter County second grade teacher, Wendy Munson, who was arrested last October for driving drunk in child endangerment.
Now that's not...
There was the possibility that she drank...
After she arrived at the school.
That's why district attorney Jennifer Dupre couldn't file any charges, even though investigators say the teacher was on the job with the blood alcohol content level two times the legal limit.
With any job, if you show up to work intoxicated, it's a fireable offense, I would imagine.
Consistent with most schools, Nuestro Elementary is a drug and alcohol-free zone.
The staff handbook stating that for violators of this, the board shall require termination when termination is required by law.
I certainly don't support anyone teaching children drunk.
Did you hear that?
Termination is required when it's required by law.
And it's not required by law.
Can't charge them criminally.
Dupre says there is also inconsistency in the law for child endangerment, saying it's a matter of proving the teacher would endanger versus may endanger.
Ooh, I like that.
I like that.
I love statutory construction.
May, will, shall, can, maybe, sort of.
Love the terminology.
The children.
And we couldn't prove that her intoxication would endanger them.
Parents think teachers should be held to a higher standard.
Maybe being second grade, second grade, and your teachers, yeah, Mrs. L says, maybe she's a better teacher.
Okay, kids, here we go, learn some alphabet, okay?
We're in the second grade, whatever.
Okay, this man is very profound.
Being a school teacher is a little bit unique because parents are entrusting their children to a teacher and to the school.
But the law disagrees, leaving it up to districts to decide how to discipline.
Very thorough.
So we tried because I don't like the conduct.
It's not acceptable.
Nope.
But unfortunately, it was not criminal.
What are you going to do?
Here we go.
Watch them out.
So I am still working to get a response from the district, but on its website, Munson is no longer listed as a teacher.
According, though, to the Commission of Teacher Credentialing, a credential could be revoked from a teacher if they do engage in this type of misconduct, except it's really on a case-by-case basis.
I love that.
I don't know why.
This is a lawyer's dream.
First of all, don't you love that?
He talks like this.
On a case-by-case basis.
I'm just mesmerizing.
What did you say?
I have no idea what she's talking about.
A friend of mine years ago was out of his mind, gassed.
Came home and I think he was involved in an accident or something.
I don't know why.
He came home, drove his car in, came in.
He had to report it, right?
But he was gassed.
He was drunk.
So he sat down, called it in.
Took out a fifth and started drinking out of his mind.
And so when the deputy showed up, he says, have you been drinking?
He says, I sure have.
Yeah, will you be drinking too if you almost died in an accident?
Were you drinking before?
No!
Drinking now!
There's no way they could have proved it.
So, of course, had you done a blood alcohol level, you would have found out with a.20, there's no way you could have hit that level had you been in an accident 10 minutes before.
Because it takes a while for it to go.
Anyway, isn't this fascinating?
Isn't this fascinating?
One more time.
So now we know that there are no criminal charges coming against that second grade teacher, but parents are concerned about what type of president this sets.
Yeah, so now we know that there are no criminal charges coming against that second grade teacher.
She's perfect.
Perfect for some type of character.
But wait a minute.
I know what you want to hear.
One more time.
Wait a minute.
I know what you want to hear.
The President of the United States.
Anyway.
This is your President.
I don't want to...
Yeah.
That's him.
I was just thinking...
Anyway.
I just...
Four more years!
Putin's kleptocracy.
Yeah.
It was in January after being elected.
Very quickly, how does that make you feel?
How does that make you feel when you hear this?
How does that make you feel?
What does that make you feel like?
What does that do for you?
What does that do to your soul?
What does that do?
And by the way, one more thing about that teacher.
She's done.
I mean, put it this way.
They've talked about it for so much.
Well, I can't really fire her.
But I guarantee when she shows up next day, good morning.
Anything different?
No.
I'm all over the world now.
Show up to school loaded on my mind, gassed and waxed.
But I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking this is no big deal really, right?
Early February.
He said...
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't laugh.
If I don't laugh, I'm going to cry.
I'm going to cry.
Vito says, these people are nuts!
How we got here is mind-boggling.
Or, as the immortal Patrick Crazy said in Roadhouse, it'll get worse before it gets better.
That's a great movie, by the way.
Thank you, Vito.
Thank you.
Excellent.
By the way, feeling kind of bad?
Feeling kind of low?
Feeling kind of crummy?
Want to feel good?
Want to feel great?
Want to feel terrific?
By the way, Mark Barnes, new member, thank you, sir.
I know what you need.
Here's what you need.
Ready for this?
You need this.
Donald J. Trump gave us the most secure and prosperous economy in the U.S. history.
Unemployment hit record lows.
Seven million new jobs created under his leadership.
The stock market hit record highs over and over again.
Americans'household net worth soared trillions of dollars higher than ever before.
And job-killing pacts like NAFTA canceled and replaced by the greatest dealmaker alive today.
President Trump made our economy great once.
He's ready to do it again.
Isn't that great?
And then it's either that or this.
Do you believe this is even subject to a debate?
Here's what you can do, the drivers.
I, uh...
For two reasons.
One.
Here we go.
It's an impact.
I gotta stop.
I gotta stop.
Isn't that something?
Wasn't it a great Trump commercial?
Wasn't that phenomenal?
Wasn't that great?
That's what I want to hear.
I don't want to hear about trials and this.
I don't want to hear about that.
Merrick Garland holding him in contempt.
Okay, okay.
I guess it's okay.
It's nice.
It's a waste of time.
But you know what?
You worry about it.
I frankly don't care.
I don't care.
I'm like you.
I'm so tired of having to explain away what they're doing to us.
I frankly am in the position now that you know what?
I don't really care about them.
I really don't care.
I, honest to God, don't care.
I have had it.
I have had it.
And I just, it never ceases to amaze me.
Never ceases to amaze me.
How this continues.
An impact the decades we're making because inaction, there was inaction.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
This is, this, I play this.
All day long.
Well, not all day long.
I'm asking, how is this even possible?
Why are people saying, look, we've got to get somebody else.
Gavin Newsom, Kamala, anybody.
Somebody who's with it.
Kamala Harris.
You know what?
No, I don't want her.
Fine, but let her run against Trump.
I don't care.
Can you imagine that?
Close your eyes for a second.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Imagine a debate with Trump and Kamala Harris.
Imagine a debate with Trump and Kamala Harris.
I just...
When he's in his prime, when he's raring to go, when he's stalking.
Remember when he was stalking?
Just pacing?
He was pacing?
There was a guy named Rick Lazio who ran against Hillary Clinton years ago.
They said, hey, you're getting in her space.
He was pacing.
One time, who was it?
George Bush was there and Bob Al Gore walked up and George Bush said, how you doing?
That's all he could do.
It's the most incredible thing in the world.
Stand by, my friend.
Stand by.
Let's try to recover.
Let's try to recover from this.
There's so much great stuff we're going to be discussing.
And I'm here To do one of two things.
To make you feel better.
Are you feeling better?
Are you laughing a little bit?
You know we are morally superior.
And you know we're going to win, right?
I just want you to know that.
Just want you to know that.
How many people say that?
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A couple of things here.
This is of some concern to you, and I think it is.
We've got to talk about the President and Vice President.
And I've been saying since the beginning, and I don't want to get into too specific, I really don't want to do this, but Tim Scott is not going to be the nominee.
I mean, it's not official, but I think you know what I'm talking about, okay?
I think you know what I'm talking about.
I think you know what I'm talking about.
All of a sudden, people say, hey!
I got a girlfriend.
I'm engaged.
Okay.
I'm so tired of that stuff.
It's not even funny.
I mean it.
I wish people the best.
Their personal life is their own thing.
Their own business.
But I think of one thing and one thing only.
That is the potential for blackmail.
That's all I'm going to say.
I perhaps have said too much.
But when people all of a sudden say, hey, look at me.
We had a guy in Florida, Charlie Crist.
Hey, I'm married!
Hey!
Oh, really, Charlie?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, okay.
We had a fellow in...
What was his name?
The governor of New Jersey?
What was his name?
No, before that.
Who was married to the woman.
Remember that?
Oh, God.
Jesus, whose face started at McGregor?
Jim McGreevy.
One day, we were in the newsroom of a radio station, and they said, quick!
Turn it down!
McGreevy's got an announcement!
This is the governor of New Jersey.
He's standing there with his wife, who looked like...
And people said, quiet!
Turn it down!
It's a big announcement!
Jim McGreevy says, I am gay.
And he said, alright, turn it down!
Big announcement coming!
Why?
Because everybody knew this.
Everybody knew it.
And he announced it.
And his wife was from Portuguese, Iron Bounce, who knows?
Anyway, we knew it!
It's one thing about Pete Booty Giggity Giggity Giggity.
He says, oh, I'm gay.
Oh, yeah.
I'm gay.
This is my partner.
I'm my husband.
I'm the mom.
We're going to breastfeed.
We're gay.
Terrific.
No kidding around.
Finally!
Somebody says, okay, that's it.
Not like, well, you know.
You have no idea.
And don't read into what I'm saying, please.
Please.
Don't read into what I'm saying.
But I do not understand how people in the 20 First century, who espouse all of this progressive stuff and insult my intelligence.
And the best part is, I don't care one way or another.
For example, when Oprah Winfrey used to have that poor guy Stedman, is Stedman even alive today?
Stedman may have been Kate Middleton or...
Gone the way of Matt Drudge.
By the way, anybody seen Matt Drudge?
Anybody seen him alive?
Have you seen him alive?
Has he been alive?
When was the last time anybody actually saw Matt Drudge?
Did they see Matt Drudge?
Did they?
Anybody see him?
I don't think so.
Did you see him?
I didn't see him.
Kate Middleton?
Oh, what a joke that is.
What a joke.
I mean, one day, I'm sorry, and I don't want this to happen.
You're going to wake up and they say, the palace is sad to announce.
There'll be that black border thing.
That's it!
I mean, you say, well, what did you do?
Nothing.
Gone.
It's the weirdest thing.
But years ago, there was this poor guy named Stedman Graham.
I said, who's Stedman Graham?
That's Oprah's boyfriend.
Oh, would you please?
Stop it!
Oh, God!
Who's that?
That's Gail.
Oh, come on!
No, no, they're just friends.
Remember when they were on a camping trip together?
Well, yeah.
She was engaged.
I hate that.
First of all, it's the same way I react to people with bad toupees.
I'm dead serious.
I want to say, do you think I think that's real?
What are you putting in that?
Take that thing off.
That's not stolen valor.
Take that off.
You're insulting me.
You're insulting me.
It's like if I walked in with those shoes that De Niro wore in The Irishman, you know, with the big heels like this.
Go, hey, look, I'm 6 '3".
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
Look how tall I am.
You're wearing platforms the likes of which Brad Runge said George Bush would be 100 today.
Wow.
Isn't that something?
Who knew?
Thank you for that.
Thank you, Brad.
Run, rung, rung, excuse me, rung, like rung of a ladder.
Pardon me.
I like Runge.
These other folks who played Kevin Spacey for years, for years, they said, what difference does it make?
Now, let me explain to you one thing.
This is true.
Now this I know for a fact.
If you're in Hollywood and you're a leading man, and they've said this for years, audiences can suspend reality if you're a woman.
Remember somebody said the other day, or years ago, they said, what happened if you found out that, I don't know, Sharon Stone.
Sharon Stone was like in two movies.
Why she's a star, I have no idea.
But if they remember, they thought, oh, she's so sexy.
Okay, fine.
But if you found out that Sharon Stone were a lesbian, it wouldn't affect anything.
But if you found out, let's say, that Schwarzenegger was gay, let's assume.
Who was that guy who was in so-and-so's wedding?
Rupert, Rupert, what's his name?
Rupert Holmes.
His career, right?
Gone.
No, maybe it's Rupert Edwards.
Yeah, not Rupert Holmes.
Rupert Holmes wrote Pina Colada.
If you like piña colada and walking in the rain.
Oh, I know.
Anyway, Rupert Everett, his career was ruined because of the gay thing.
Ruined!
They didn't say it.
I thought, wait a minute, this is Hollywood.
These are the progressives.
These are the ones who love you so much.
If you're a conservative or if you're outed, how sick is this group of people?
And the number of folks who are walking around, there is an un...
I don't understand it.
There's nothing wrong with it, but you would think that the last...
Bastion, the last, if there's one place that would say, come out and literally come out, let's do this.
We don't care about this.
We want you to be LGBTQ.
We got the rainbow flags.
Nope.
And we will never, ever, ever play that game.
But one day, Years ago, I'll never forget, having lunch, there's a friend of ours who's in the biz, very, very connected, and went through a list.
I said, go ahead, shock me.
And this guy was very well respected, whatever that means.
I couldn't believe it.
I couldn't believe it.
Okay, fine.
That being said, When you're in office and you do these weird, weird...
Remember when Matt Gaetz had that son, that adopted son, Nestor, whatever?
What is going on here?
And you know what I think about?
Only one thing and one thing only.
What do I think about?
What do I think about?
Come on, kids.
What do I think about?
What does Uncle Lenny think about?
What do I think about?
Come on!
Come on!
Well, I'm going to tell you.
When people are in compromising positions and they can be blackmailed by the government, by foreign countries, by political opponents, it compromises the entire system.
One of the biggest problems that Bill Clinton had, believe it or not, During this event of his career was when he, this is important, was having those phone conversations, which was so bloody stupid, with Monica Lewinsky.
And he found himself in the position where they kept telling him, don't do this.
And there are certain countries, and I think we know who they are.
I think we know who they are.
I think we know who these countries are.
But, to make a long story short, you find out what's happening, and guess what?
Your president, all of a sudden, is captured.
Is it live, or is it Memorex?
And it goes on, and the level of debauchery from Bobby Baker, LBJ, the Boiler Room Girls, you name it.
Oh my god.
LBJ?
The Kennedys themselves?
Ted Kennedy?
Ted?
The whole place is one.
Remember the page scandals years ago?
Remember Barney Frank?
I don't think he was in that one.
Or maybe he was.
There was this issue with pages, congressional pages.
I mean, it was wild.
I mean, wild.
Always men, of course.
That's what this is all about.
Remember something.
Everything that you hear, did he or didn't he, everything involving the entertainment world, hip-hop, music, is all about extortion.
Everything.
It's all about extortion.
And when Kevin Spacey was saying, That when he was flying on certain airplanes with certain people, and he had no idea.
I didn't know that lady's name.
I don't know.
Are you kidding me?
Have you ever been somebody when you said, hey, this is great.
Whose plane are we on?
Oh, that guy.
Everybody knows who that guy is.
And that's his girlfriend.
Oh, yeah.
That's the one who gets...
That's the one who goes out and lures them.
I got it.
There was a time when Charlie Rose, who, by the way, we haven't seen Charlie Rose lately, but Charlie Rose was in the midst of his particular scandal at CBS or PBS, whatever the hell he was.
And I knew about it, and I didn't even work at CBS.
Everybody knows this.
Everybody knows this.
Matt Lauer.
Remember him?
He's nowhere to be found.
Now, Matt Lauer, they were joking about his escapades at some roast or something.
Joking about this.
Remember what his, I guess, people he worked with?
Remember what one woman said he did?
Do you remember?
I do.
Remember his wife who was, she's Swedish, she had a name like...
Brioche or something.
Anyway, he threw it all away.
Everybody knew this, and they laughed about it.
Brad Rung says, wanted to ask and kept forgetting, would you have represented, if able, in that district, Hunter Biden, in that case, if asked to, by the president?
Yeah.
Sure.
I would have absolutely, yeah, because that's like asking a doctor, would you have handled that appendectomy?
Yeah, that's what I do.
I don't pick people that I like.
That would have been a different case.
My tack would have been completely different.
We plead guilty?
Remember the deal, remember the deal.
The judge at first rejected a plea deal, Brad, that was presented at first.
Remember this?
There was a plea deal that was presented, and then lo and behold, there was a...
I don't know what the word was, but there's a...
She read through it and said it was kind of like an omnibus deal where they were going to subsume everything into one plea.
She said, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What about the guns?
What about this?
No, no.
I mean, he had everything.
IRS and one big kind of get-out-of-jail-free card.
But what I would have done is I would have said we're going to plead guilty.
Why?
Because we have no defense.
I don't understand this.
We have no defense.
I would have also told President Trump you're going to admit that you had your way with Dusty Sattles because this is stupid.
She's going to get up there and everybody's going to believe her and make you look like a liar and you're lying over something that doesn't even matter.
So you're going to say, we're going to do this.
We're going to stipulate to it.
Thank you very much.
Have a nice day.
What?
Have a nice day.
You're not going to ask me any questions?
Nope.
Not interested.
Now in closing, I would destroy her.
Destroy her.
Because she wouldn't be there.
I wouldn't destroy her.
And I'd say, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just going to say, I don't have anything to say about Dusty Saddles.
Stormy Daniels.
I have nothing to say.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Why?
Because she's irrelevant.
This case is irrelevant.
It's a non-disclosure agreement.
You could have a non-disclosure agreement with Son of Sam.
It doesn't matter.
Why are they bringing this woman on?
Why?
You know why they're doing it.
Because they want to tantalize you.
They want you to go, ooh.
That's what this is about.
Guess what I would have asked E. Jean Carroll?
Nothing.
Thank you very much.
Have a nice day.
That was the most stupid thing in the world.
Ask yourself the question, what defense does he have?
What is it?
His defense in this New York case is it wasn't a crime.
I don't even know what the hell I did.
I defrauded the American people.
I defrauded, I commit business fraud in order to hide Fraud in order to hide another crime?
Namely, New York State.
I mean, it is so Byzantine.
It's the most bizarre thing in the world.
The most bizarre thing I have ever heard.
But I would have said nothing about her.
And I would have made it sound like this case is ridiculous.
Why are we talking about Stormy Daniels?
Why?
Because people are perverse?
They're sexually concupiscent.
They love this stuff.
Hey, bull trader, where have I remember you, dear friend?
May have been discussed.
However, Hunter will be pardoned by the president.
Well, they said he wouldn't pardon him.
But what about commuting the sentence?
Hey, what about that one?
Commutation is when you just suspend the, you know what, you've done enough.
Thank you.
You're not pardoned.
You're just, get out of jail.
Commute the sentence.
Get out.
Forget it.
That's dumb.
I would have put everything in my power, everything before that judge to put him into leniency.
To say, can we do this?
How about a diversion?
I don't even know where Abby Lowell was.
Why didn't we say, look, the guy's messed up.
He's out of his mind.
Here, look at these.
How about this?
This is his laptop.
This is his laptop.
Now let me ask you something.
Now listen to me.
What do you think was on that laptop that we don't know about?
What do you think was on that laptop?
Did you ever see that picture?
Who was it?
His niece or something?
There's something going on there.
What do you think a cracked-out, wigged-out, goon meth-head without any teeth who goes on days and weeks of binges, who gets hookers and harlots and courtesans, do you think he would say, oh, family members, and I'm not going to take a picture of it?
Why?
Because I'm a good guy.
I know the difference between right and wrong.
I bet you.
I'll bet you.
And if that's on any kind of cloud, oh, you know who owns most of the clouds, don't you?
Bezos.
That's tucked away.
Who do you think has those pictures?
Always put your money, I'm sorry to say this, and I say this with all due respect, always put your money on Israel.
Always.
Mossad, the best.
The best.
That's why October 7th, I don't buy any of it.
None of it!
This is the best!
Don't tell me they're in their neck of the woods!
These are the same people.
Remember what Israel did?
Remember what they did?
Remember Stuxnet?
Stuxnet was that virus that caused the centrifuges in Iranian uranium.
Try saying that three times fast.
To spin the wrong way.
And all of a sudden they're going, what the hell is this?
Remember that one?
And these people didn't know that they were planning this and they were having mock little cities?
Come on, stop it.
Brad Rung says, how did the pardon process get started in law?
Oh, since the beginning of time for the king.
The king could commute and pardon.
Pardon.
Pardon your head.
Pardon you.
Save your life.
Are you kidding?
Absolutely.
There was one thing.
Did you ever hear of benefit of clergy?
That's one of my favorites.
I think most states abolished benefit of clergy.
This is a practice in which church authorities were exempt from prosecution under secular courts.
Inspired by Roman law, the benefit of clergy was an important part of the English.
And do you know what they did?
They used to always give them How did they tell if somebody was really a member of the clergy?
They'd give them something to read.
Because only the clergy could read.
And invariably they found it was like the Lord's Prayer or something.
So now they slip something in there.
And if you could read that, nobody could read.
And they would do that.
They would not prosecute you.
There were some wonderful things in the old days.
How about alienation of affection, where you steal somebody's wife?
Isn't that a great alienation of affection?
Let me get the actual proper Black's Law dictionary of this.
Alienation of affection.
This has been one of my favorites.
This is a civil wrong or tort that allows a spouse to sue a third party for damaging their marriage.
The spouse must prove that the third party's actions, such as encouraging the other spouse to divorce or cheat, were wrongful and malicious, and that they deprived the spouse of their love and affection.
Alienation of affection claims are often filed after divorce, but can be brought at any time.
I mean, can you believe that?
I love that.
It makes women to be like they're not at all a part of this.
They're just chattel.
Women are not supposed to be a part of this.
Women are not.
It's a man.
I blame you.
What about the woman?
She doesn't know anything.
She's just a little lady.
Of course she's going to be swayed.
It's the other guy, the other dude.
One day we're going to do a whole thing on marriage law.
And marriage.
And this is the thing which fascinates me to no one.
If you've ever been a part of any kind of a wedding, Anything at all.
The one thing that is never discussed between the bride and the groom, and I guess it goes for same sex as wellness, what exactly are we doing when we sign whatever the thing is that we do?
What are we doing?
Okay, I'm Mrs. So I got your name.
Okay, I don't have your name.
Keep your name.
Whatever.
What does that mean?
Do you think most people understand what that is?
Absolutely not.
They have no idea.
None.
But you find out when you get a divorce.
If you get it aboard, I hope most people don't, but you find out.
Then you'd be like, really?
Yeah.
You have to undo what you're doing.
Remember Chang and Eng?
Anybody?
Remember Chang and Eng, the Siamese twins?
Remember that?
There was always a crossword puzzle.
Eng.
Eng.
And they would take two people and they were conjoined.
And marriage is taking two people who are singular and making them conjoined.
And, no matter how carefully you cut, somebody loses an arm and a leg.
Now, going back to Hunter.
Hunter is just, he's got, remember, the case coming up in California.
He's got another federal case.
They're going to try to time the sentencing of this.
Do you time the sentencing of one before the other?
What about before the election?
It's going to be, they're going to be arguing.
They're going to put everything off.
A trial judge should say, I don't give a damn about the election.
My job is not to accommodate an election.
I'm looking at this particular case and this guy and that's it.
And I am not interested in accommodating elections, which is complete balderdash.
But that's the way that is.
How about it?
What do you think of ladies in particular?
What do you think of Hunter's wife?
Did you see her?
Did you see the look on her face?
When people were walking, she was like this.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
That's me.
Mrs. Hunter Biden.
Looked good, huh?
Did you get the impression like, I'm pretty suave, huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Did you ever see that look?
That look like, I'm, you know, I don't want to say, I hate to say it.
No, I don't hate to say it.
I'll say it.
Hope Hicks had that look.
This Margo Martin had that look.
Alina Hava's got that look.
You know what I mean?
They look like, huh?
You're loving this, don't you?
You're loving this.
I know you are, because I'm loving it.
Because I look great.
Right?
Did you see her?
What do you think of her?
Now, the stripper mom, this is even sadder.
She was saying about how they had various stockings on the hearth.
Fireplace at the White House.
And they didn't have a little girl.
Terrible.
The Brad says, you able to represent the federal court in any state?
Yep.
Yep.
If I'm not a member of the Delaware District Court, just file as ProHocVice, where I go and I say to the particular court, Federal court, I'm licensed here.
I'm a member of this.
I might have a local lawyer assume responsibility, assume service of process and things like that.
But yeah, you can always go in other...
It's called ProHawk.
H-A-C-V-I-C-E.
I'm a member of New York, New Jersey, Florida.
D.C., the Supreme Court of the United States.
2nd District here in New York.
Eastern District in New York.
2nd Circuit, Court of Appeals.
3rd Circuit, which is Philly.
No, 3rd Circuit, which is Philly.
Well, I cover Philadelphia area.
3rd Circuit, which is New Jersey.
District Court of New Jersey.
And I think that's it.
So, and eventually they're going to just make everybody one big, you won't even need to take a bar exam, you're just going to, hey, come on in!
I know that's coming.
I can't say that it makes any difference, but what are you going to do?
Alright, my friends.
I know what you want to hear.
I know what you want to hear.
I know what you're dying to hear.
That's right.
This is it.
With the department of...
It's your president!
From Charlotte, another line going from Florida down to Tampa.
The best way to get something done, if it holds near and dear to you, that you like to be able to...
This is what...
The idea that...
That's good.
This is a good one.
See the eyes?
And Joan...
That's your president.
What are you feeling right now?
You know, beginning...
What are you feeling?
And I want you to know that...
I want to thank you.
I can't stand this.
I can't take it anymore.
It is.
I don't believe that this is happening.
I don't believe that we have somebody who is absolutely devoid of any degree of mentation.
I can't.
I can't believe it.
I cannot believe it.
Now, my friends, as you have been so wonderful to me, can't you see?
Because you are so beautiful to me.
And I mean that with all my heart.
I want you, as always, to follow Mrs. L. at Lynn's Warriors.
I mean it.
You have been terrific.
She's got a great video coming out.
You're not going to believe what the...
Oh, by the way, the Biden administration and a lot of these Democrats, for the first time, for reasons I don't understand, they're all of a sudden now saying, hey, we're going to do something about trafficking.
We're going to do something about trafficking.
John McGuire couldn't get higher says, I just play I'm Proud of Being American over that clip and it makes it so much better.
Indeed it does.
Indeed it does.
Johnny McGuire.
By the way, I got this thumbnail picture of you for the first time because most of the time I don't know what any of you look like.
It's just this little kind of a thing.
There was a photo, there was a thumbnail of our friend Sparky.
I didn't realize it was a dog until I looked carefully.
I said, oh, it's a dog.
I thought it was something.
I don't know what I thought it was.
Because these thumbnails sometimes are very, very difficult for you to read.
And anyway, please follow Mrs. L at Lynn's Warriors.
One more time.
She has a brand new video coming up on how the Biden administration and others are all of a sudden pretending like, hey, we care about this.
The Brad says, last question, what's the difference in Esquire versus JD?
Ah!
Good question.
J.D. is Juris Doctor.
Doctor of Laws.
That's what you get.
That's your degree.
You get a J.D. when you're a lawyer.
Like you're an M.D. or a Ph.D. You get a J.D. Doctor of Laws.
Juris Doctor.
Esquire is a term that is used that is more kind of honorary.
It just means you're a lawyer.
Normally it means Only lawyers use it.
I guess it'd almost be like the term reverend.
You know?
Like, for example, in the Catholic Church, well, in the Jesuits, it's SG, Society of Jesus.
When you see that, it means a Jesuit.
Or sometimes they'll have the initials of the particular order.
But they'll have the reverend, so-and-so, comma, SJ.
So reverend and esquire normally is It appends the name, but it's something like that.
It's almost like, you know, the honorable or something along those lines.
There also is attorney versus lawyer.
That's the question.
Attorney versus lawyer.
And attorney means kind of like a representative because there's a thing called attorney in fact.
There's attorney at law.
But lawyer and lawyering, that is you represent Someone.
That's the idea.
You're a lawyer.
You represent either a corporation, a person, something you have.
And then every lawyer, remember, every lawyer represents people, except in two cases.
Academia, though they can separately represent people, but academia, or the bench, the judiciary.
And those folks, different worlds completely.
Different worlds.
There is a...
I'm not going to mention this one, but there's this one lawyer, a law professor, and every now and then I will...
It's a husband and wife team, and I will catch them.
They're separate, obviously.
And they will have subjects that they discuss that are so irrelevant to real life.
Only an academic will come up with this.
It's just nobody's concerned with this.
It's some arcane law review study.
Whether the notion of bicameral federalism.
I mean, it's all, you know, nobody cares about it.
That's the idea.
That's the academic part.
That's the law professor.
Then the judge, different.
The law professors, la la land.
Brad Rung says, why can't you be practicing without passing the bar?
It's a good question.
Why can't you?
Because it depends upon the state.
Do you know a while back, Brad, you don't remember this, remember when Kim Kardashian was going to There was a professional distinction when you could read for the law.
You would serve almost as an apprentice with somebody who was either a lawyer, trial lawyer, trained or what otherwise, but you would be an apprentice and you would read.
Just like, for example, in the British, in Oxford, you read history or whatever, but it was something similar to that.
And I think in some cases...
I think in some cases in California you can read, and she was going to be a lawyer.
They were dead serious.
And she would be very interested in sentencing, and she met with Trump in the White House to get somebody out of prison.
She was very interested in being a lawyer, and then that kind of went away.
You also have to ask yourself, there are some law schools that aren't credentialed.
They're not ABA credentialed.
I remember one time, years ago, they said, why is the pass rate for the bar so low?
Or why is it historically low?
They always say, in California, the fail rate is really high.
And somebody said one time, simple, because the number of unaccredited schools are so high.
Because there are people who theoretically don't have the right basis for this, the right background.
And I think there's something to be said for that.
I will tell you this much.
Remember something.
I was looking for somebody one time.
Somebody needed a divorce lawyer.
Family law or something.
And they said, what do you know?
I said, I didn't know anybody.
It was just one state.
And by the way, Brad Rung is on fire and I says, I heard there are only two states that you can be a lawyer without a JD.
California and Vermont.
I couldn't tell you.
You can Google that.
I don't know if I'd want that, but you know what?
It could be.
Let me tell you something.
There are some paralegals who are absolutely great.
There are some things that are administrative where when you need permits and you You know, half of the old, half of, for example, in criminal law, in cases like, you know, driver's licenses, you got to get,
you know, suspended license clearances and have administrative hearings and, oh, to have somebody, if that's your particular area, to have somebody as a secretary or somebody who used to be with DMV or whatever, it's priceless because it's very administrative.
What the hell was I even saying?
I forgot what I was saying.
I have no clue what I was saying.
Oh, oh, wait a minute.
Somebody, a friend of mine, he's a lawyer.
So what I did was, I said, well, here's what I'm going to do.
I said, what's the name of the state?
State is this.
What's the county?
Brad's at it.
Brad's like Sparky.
He gets on something.
To be allowed to take the bar without a degree.
Again, I don't know.
You can Google that.
I'm sure it's very, very simple.
So here's what you should remember.
Listen to me carefully.
Let's say you want to get a divorce or somebody in your family wants a divorce.
As an example.
As an example.
Go for board certified.
Anybody who goes with a problem of getting board certified, that's a good.
That's a plus.
It's not the end of all, but it's the difference between a DDS and a DMD.
Or a CPA and one of the best accountants I ever saw was not a CPA, but he was something else.
So it's good.
That's number one.
Number two, find out somebody who in that area is the president of the local Bar Association, Chapter 4, let's say, family law.
That's a great one.
And what's even better, get somebody who is on the committee.
If you can find somebody who's on the committee, lucky enough, who is into judicial nominations or some kind of judges.
Disciplinary hearing.
Why?
Because the judges are going to want to be nice to this person, and this person knows the judges, and oh my God.
So that's what you really need to know, especially something where you want to get things done quickly, cheaply, and expeditiously.
That is something that no law professor would ever know what to do.
Nor would a law, nor would a judge, well, like a federal judge, there would be no whole other.
There are federal judges in another world.
Another world.
I mean, just...
You should go to the 2nd District here in New York.
Oh, my God.
That's the most famous learned at hand was there.
Oh, my God.
It's just the history.
The 2nd...
I mean, it's not the 2nd.
The Southern District and the Eastern District is Brooklyn.
That's where all the mob cases were.
Wonderful.
In any event, I digress.
It's still a good profession, by the way, and a lot of good people.
And the thing that amazes me the most is that I learned a long time ago when somebody asks you, what do you think about this?
What do you think about this?
What do you think about Hunter?
What about that?
I always say, it depends.
It depends.
I don't...
There is...
There is no way for me to tell you what actually is going to happen.
But by the way, one more thing.
When you have a jury...
When you have a jury who's going to be sitting back and listening, it changes the dynamic completely.
There are people who for the longest time have been in the hallowed halls of Washington with white shoe firms and they decide, I'm going to go and I'm going to...
Take this case.
I'm going to go to Wilmington.
Why?
Because I'm Abby Lowell.
I'm from Washington.
You know where I heard that happen?
In the case of Mike Tyson.
Mike Tyson, I think it was his rape case.
I forget where it was.
Forgive me.
But they didn't go with a local lawyer.
I want a local lawyer who has a local, especially if it's a region that has a noted accent.
I want one of theirs.
I don't want to get somebody from New York.
I saw that one time.
Your Honor, I'm from New York.
And people would say, New York is it?
Well, welcome!
I realize you're a fool.
You're a fool.
You don't know what you just did because you're trying to outclass somebody because you're from the big city.
What is this?
Hooterville?
Stupid.
Brad says, you personally have to renew your license yearly?
Yes.
Absolutely.
And CLE.
Continuing legal education.
CLE.
And you can do that in a variety of ways.
You've got to do that every four years.
That's actually very interesting.
Poor Mrs. L, she's got to hear these.
They're not tapes, but you've got to hear these things.
But they're fascinating.
Absolutely fascinating.
And the best was taking a bar exam when you're 15 years?
12?
No.
No, that's not it.
No, no, no. 20-something years after?
No, what am I saying?
What am I saying?
No, my God.
Try 30-something years.
Taking a bar exam with a bunch of kids in the Javits Center.
Nine million people.
Just rows and rows of tables.
Everybody was amazing.
You left your ID at the table in front of you.
Many had passports.
The number of Chinese passports, I couldn't believe it.
You show up at the Javits Center and say, what is this?
It's like Woodstock.
It's like a trade convention.
All these people are for lawyers?
Are taking the bar?
Yes, here.
Here.
Just now.
And that was just one location.
There's over here in the state of New York.
And you also fix it so that if you do New York today, you go across the river and you go to Jersey the next day, take their version of it.
But it's just...
And then, with all these people sitting there, and the security, the security, you've got to have a plastic bag that you can see through.
No mechanical pens.
You had to have pens, I mean pencils, no pen, I forget what it was.
No hoodies.
No watches other than, like, no mechanical watches, no Apple.
They didn't have really Apple watches.
But the point is, I mean, and they've got these people just walking around looking at you.
Every rule.
And then New Jersey was a little bit different.
I forget.
They changed certain things.
But New York did not want you to have mechanical pens.
I have no idea.
Or pencils.
Don't know why.
And then you've got your laptop in there.
And then if you're really arcane, if you're really old-fashioned, you can do blue books.
You can write it out.
You can write it for the essays.
Not for the actual answers or multiple choice.
But for the essays question, oh, blue books?
Writing it out?
You can do it.
And I don't know what you do if you are handicapped.
If you can say that.
I don't know what...
I forget how that would work.
But I gotta tell you this much.
There we were and I figured I got plenty of time.
You practice this so much.
You know you gotta be in this section by this time.
You gotta be in this section by this time.
You know exactly how.
And you've done so many questions.
You can just see the first...
Three words, and you know what?
You've seen it before.
Because they have every question that's ever been asked.
This is the beginning of time.
And so you know it.
And when you leave, you know every area of law at the same time.
Like, you've never known more at one time.
And you'll start forgetting.
So, when we were there, I remember this one guy gets up.
He's got, I don't know, a half an hour, 45 minutes left, and he turns his stuff in.
Now I'm thinking to myself, is he, did he just give up?
There's no way he's finished.
Why don't you sit there and just check your work?
I don't understand it.
People were like, look at him like, what the hell?
And they go, look forward, I'm sorry.
You can't look around, you can't look left or right.
But then they had, then you have your computer, and you write all your stuff, you know, for your essays, and you come back and there was this service.
That they use where they give you a code and you upload your answers.
Oh, by the way, when you're in there, you have to turn everything off and it's just a computer.
You can't, there's no Wi-Fi.
Anyway, the security is.
And when you leave, when you leave your, this cacophony of humanity.
I want people like 30. I'm the oldest guy there.
And they want to get you loaded.
So anyway, as I was saying, when you're in this, your brain is filled with every arcane piece of law.
So years ago, when I took the Florida Bar in 83, I called up a lawyer show.
Poor guy's dead now.
But he called it a little weekend, you know, ask a lawyer.
And I was doing things like the fertile octogenarian rule, springing interest, rule against perpetuities, lives and being plus 21. I want to convey a piece of property to someone so long as they stop smoking.
In the event they don't, it's then passed off in fee simple, both as a life estate with a remainder.
And there's like nine different issues here.
Rule against perpetuity, springing interest, will this vest within 21, will this...
I mean, it's like, oh, the fertile octogenarian rule, which if you give property to somebody, even though they're 80 years old, technically speaking, under the rules of real property, they could have children.
So you have to account for that because the law hates any kind of property conveyance that's not certain.
It's wild.
And the stuff that you think would be boring is fascinating.
Probate.
Wills?
Oh!
Wills are the only things that take effect when somebody dies.
Everything else ends.
Everything else ends.
It's done.
It's finished.
No libel, no crimes.
He's dead.
Yeah, but he's dead.
Marriage, he's dead.
Okay, well, he's dead.
Probate, though, says, Now we kick in.
Now we, good.
Because if he's not dead, we're not interested.
We always worry about death, and you think of every contingency to the point where you're almost paranoid.
Okay, what if the, okay, if I die, and I die before my spouse, the simultaneous death clause, how about if we die together?
Then we will presume that each person died in order to convey the property.
And dispose of it to an heir and whatever gives them the most.
I mean, you're just into this death stuff.
Here's one for you.
Why do people get married?
Predemitted spouse, special interests.
The pre-termitted spouse.
A guy who says, hey, guess what, honey?
You've been with me for 35 years.
You raised the kids.
That's great.
Well, guess what I'm going to do?
I'm going to run off with my little 19-year-old office worker and I'm not going to leave you anything.
Oh, no, you're not.
You can't do that.
Oh, I see.
Pre-termitted spouse, special interest.
Oh, God, there's all these things you can take.
Challenging the will.
There's a clause that says, if you challenge the will, you don't get anything.
That's a good one.
The old joke was, and I promise to remember my brother-in-law in my will.
Hello, Dave!
When the will dies, how do you know that's the will?
Wait a minute, this is the will?
How do you know?
Did he have another will?
I don't know.
Where is it?
Well, this is the only one we have.
No!
He told me about another will.
Well, where is it?
I don't know.
Talk to the lawyer.
Did he leave another will?
Well, no.
This is it?
This is it.
Oh, my God.
This one gets the property.
But he didn't want that.
Sorry.
How about undue influence?
How about undue influence?
I love that one.
Why did he...
Remember, who was it?
It was...
What was her name?
The Playboy Bunny who married the old guy?
Playboy...
Playmate?
Remember that she died?
You know what I'm talking about.
I remember the day she died, as a matter of fact.
Anyway, she married the old codger.
And his family said, Oh, no, you don't.
No, no, no, no.
And he left everything to her.
You remember?
What is her name?
Anna Nicole Smith.
Thank you.
Are you ready for this?
Class, here's my question for you.
This is a good one.
There is a device that is called...
you're going to love this.
Um, um, um, It is called an electroejaculator.
An electric probe or an electroejaculator is inserted into the rectum and positioned against the prostate.
Using increasing frequency and amplitude of energy, ejaculation is stimulated.
The ejaculator is collected from the urethra as well as the bladder.
As frequently retrograde ejaculation into the bladder occurs.
Okay?
Okay, fine.
Now, a person dies.
Okay?
He dies.
Rich guy dies.
Who has possession of the body?
The wife.
She owns it.
She owns the body.
That's her husband.
Life or death.
She gets to dispose of him.
Because that's one of the benefits of being a spouse.
She decides to have this electro-hydro-ejaculator, which, by the way, has been known to work within a certain amount of time after death.
And people, by the way, who've been paralyzed.
She gets a sample, she does IVF, and lo and behold, she gives birth to a child after he's dead.
What about that?
Well, she owns the body.
She owns everything.
What about that?
What if the family comes forward and says, wait a minute, hey!
It's almost like a form of post-mortem, you know, the R word, which we can't say.
But you know what I mean?
It's fascinating.
But we're going to do that next time.
Not now.
I've been talking to you for an hour and 23 minutes, and I had no idea I talked this long, but I've had so much fun being with you.
You know why?
Because I love you.
Because you're beautiful people.
Because you are so beautiful to me, can't you see?
You are so beautiful.
Follow Linz Warriors on YouTube, my friends.
We'll see you tomorrow!
And by the by, let me also say to Brad Rung, Brad, you are on fire tonight.
And the Brad, we got Brad and the Brad.
And we've got John McGuire couldn't get hired.
We've got Vito.
Mark Barnes, thank you so much.
What a tremendous night.
Who knows?
That's what I love about these shows.
Sometimes we end up, we'll go down a particular road, which I think is so fascinating.
I never thought I'd be going there.
I never thought we'd be heading that way.
But lo and behold, There we go.
All right, dear friends, have a great and glorious day.
Again, please follow Mrs. L at Lin's Warriors.
See you tomorrow at 8 a.m.
And until then, dear friends, remember, as I always say, the monkey's dead.
The show's over.
Sue ya.
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